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Become Who You Are: A New Theory of Self-Esteem, Human Greatness, and the Opposite of Depression
From the author of the international bestseller Designing the The Principles of Psychitecture comes an ambitious and counterintuitive guide to the good life.
After spending over a decade researching the psychology and philosophy of well-being, and even writing his first book on the topic, it took a struggle with his own mental health for Ryan A Bush to integrate the data he had studied to form a groundbreaking new psychological theory. Become Who You Are argues that the peak form of human happiness is determined, not by pleasure or pain, loss or gain, but by the admirability we observe in our own behaviors.
“From post-traumatic growth to postpartum depression, the many counterintuitive stories of happiness actually all tell the same tale. Our overall well-being does not correspond to the surface-level events to which we tend to attribute it. But it corresponds perfectly to something else—something going on beneath the surface of our external outcomes.”
This philosophy-infused self-development guide takes readers on a kaleidoscopic journey through Stoic philosophy and neuropsychology—Nietzschean virtue ethics and evolutionary psychology—spiritual wisdom and psychotherapy. It offers a moving account of Ryan’s own descent into depression, his climb back to flourishing, and the ambitious new framework this journey led him to that we can use to decode and direct our lives.
“The good life is not the sum of simple pleasure or the fruit of success. Its essence is not comfort, struggle, purpose, or even love. You don’t need meaning. You need virtue.”
Become Who You A New Theory of Self-Esteem, Human Greatness, and the Opposite of Depression is Bush’s best, most rigorous, and most personal work to date. The theory it presents will have radical implications for our understanding of the mind and countless individual lives. And it will provide readers with an invaluable guide for reaching the peaks of flourishing and a powerful call to personal greatness.
After spending over a decade researching the psychology and philosophy of well-being, and even writing his first book on the topic, it took a struggle with his own mental health for Ryan A Bush to integrate the data he had studied to form a groundbreaking new psychological theory. Become Who You Are argues that the peak form of human happiness is determined, not by pleasure or pain, loss or gain, but by the admirability we observe in our own behaviors.
“From post-traumatic growth to postpartum depression, the many counterintuitive stories of happiness actually all tell the same tale. Our overall well-being does not correspond to the surface-level events to which we tend to attribute it. But it corresponds perfectly to something else—something going on beneath the surface of our external outcomes.”
This philosophy-infused self-development guide takes readers on a kaleidoscopic journey through Stoic philosophy and neuropsychology—Nietzschean virtue ethics and evolutionary psychology—spiritual wisdom and psychotherapy. It offers a moving account of Ryan’s own descent into depression, his climb back to flourishing, and the ambitious new framework this journey led him to that we can use to decode and direct our lives.
“The good life is not the sum of simple pleasure or the fruit of success. Its essence is not comfort, struggle, purpose, or even love. You don’t need meaning. You need virtue.”
Become Who You A New Theory of Self-Esteem, Human Greatness, and the Opposite of Depression is Bush’s best, most rigorous, and most personal work to date. The theory it presents will have radical implications for our understanding of the mind and countless individual lives. And it will provide readers with an invaluable guide for reaching the peaks of flourishing and a powerful call to personal greatness.
273 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 27, 2024
146 people are currently reading
2638 people want to read
About the author
Ryan A. Bush
3 books52 followersRyan A Bush is a thinker and designer focused on building better systems, better people, and a better future. As founder of Designing the Mind, his central purpose is to provide wisdom education and integrate the insights of ancient and modern thinkers to form a new vision for psychological growth and self-mastery.
Ryan has written multiple bestselling books like Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture, built life-changing programs like The Anxiety Algorithm, and launched Mindform, the world’s first psychitecture collective and training platform. His ideas have been featured on Psyche, Lifehack, and Modern Stoicism, and he has been a guest on podcasts like Modern Wisdom, The Unmistakable Creative, and This Anthro Life.
Ryan is also a startup cofounder and Chief Design Officer at Nomad. He lives in a small mountain town where he spends his time creating, reflecting, and adventuring with his partner and their corgi, Hootie, who is on track to be an honors student this year.
Ryan has written multiple bestselling books like Designing the Mind: The Principles of Psychitecture, built life-changing programs like The Anxiety Algorithm, and launched Mindform, the world’s first psychitecture collective and training platform. His ideas have been featured on Psyche, Lifehack, and Modern Stoicism, and he has been a guest on podcasts like Modern Wisdom, The Unmistakable Creative, and This Anthro Life.
Ryan is also a startup cofounder and Chief Design Officer at Nomad. He lives in a small mountain town where he spends his time creating, reflecting, and adventuring with his partner and their corgi, Hootie, who is on track to be an honors student this year.
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
March 24, 2024
Ryan Bush’s “Become Who You Are” is a thought-provoking synthesis of psychology and philosophy, where he proposes a bold new theory that helps us all find true, long-lasting happiness (or, more appropriately, eudaimonia).
This book will challenge some of your long-held notions on topics like happiness, depression, enlightenment, and some mental disorders. It makes grand claims and proposes a new theory. This is clearly an ambitious project, but ultimately, it does what all Great books should aspire to do. It delivers.
In the intro, we learn that the author was on a quest for a “grand, unified theory of happiness,” and the results of his findings are here in this book. There’s a simple happiness equation he introduces that, amusingly enough, is quite similar to Einstein’s E = mc2 (someone else on a quest for a grand, unified theory).
As I read, I was pleased to see that Ryan has done deep, thorough research so that we can go along for a pleasant ride, smoothly understanding why virtue matters more than we think it does and that simpler models of happiness are inadequate. He also adds personal experiences and examples, which I found interesting and helpful, including some narratives to support his ideas.
His whole thesis is that Living a life according to your values/virtues, or what you admire in others, will ultimately bring happiness/fulfillment. Though I believe most people understand this in some form, naturally, this book helps us understand it more deeply and make better use of the principle to create more opportunities for happiness and long-lasting fulfillment in our everyday lives. These ideas are important and useful enough to focus on and apply consciously.
Though I’ve only recently finished reading “Become Who You Are,” I’ve already read the book twice (something I rarely do unless the book is highly worthy). I will continue to think of and apply the frameworks in my life. With a book like this, the real value comes in applying it and integrating it into who you are and how you live.
I’m already finding value in asking myself, “Is this a virtue I admire in others?” If it is, I can go ahead and act in line with that virtue. If it’s not, then I may take another action.
Lastly, I enjoyed the format – the takeaways at the end of the chapters are very helpful. Also, I’m eager to explore some of the websites and further resources included at the end.
This book will challenge some of your long-held notions on topics like happiness, depression, enlightenment, and some mental disorders. It makes grand claims and proposes a new theory. This is clearly an ambitious project, but ultimately, it does what all Great books should aspire to do. It delivers.
In the intro, we learn that the author was on a quest for a “grand, unified theory of happiness,” and the results of his findings are here in this book. There’s a simple happiness equation he introduces that, amusingly enough, is quite similar to Einstein’s E = mc2 (someone else on a quest for a grand, unified theory).
As I read, I was pleased to see that Ryan has done deep, thorough research so that we can go along for a pleasant ride, smoothly understanding why virtue matters more than we think it does and that simpler models of happiness are inadequate. He also adds personal experiences and examples, which I found interesting and helpful, including some narratives to support his ideas.
His whole thesis is that Living a life according to your values/virtues, or what you admire in others, will ultimately bring happiness/fulfillment. Though I believe most people understand this in some form, naturally, this book helps us understand it more deeply and make better use of the principle to create more opportunities for happiness and long-lasting fulfillment in our everyday lives. These ideas are important and useful enough to focus on and apply consciously.
Though I’ve only recently finished reading “Become Who You Are,” I’ve already read the book twice (something I rarely do unless the book is highly worthy). I will continue to think of and apply the frameworks in my life. With a book like this, the real value comes in applying it and integrating it into who you are and how you live.
I’m already finding value in asking myself, “Is this a virtue I admire in others?” If it is, I can go ahead and act in line with that virtue. If it’s not, then I may take another action.
Lastly, I enjoyed the format – the takeaways at the end of the chapters are very helpful. Also, I’m eager to explore some of the websites and further resources included at the end.
February 29, 2024
Become Who You Are is an excellent book. The theory presented is at the very least extremely thought provoking, it’s got humor sprinkled throughout in just the right places. It chock full of inspiring and insightful writing, and it’s personal enough that anyone with a pulse can appreciate how very human it is. Its premise is very simple, yet it seems to grab ahold of your mind (like all great books do) and soon you start to realize the world is very similar to the theory presented in the pages of this book. I’ve yet to read any book related to the topic of virtues and values that explains these concepts and why they can and do affect our lives the way that this book does. In that respect, this book deserves 5 stars based off of that fact alone. But the book is more than just a fantastic exploration into virtues and values, it’s a guide on how and why we should take them seriously in our everyday lives. I cannot recommend this book enough.
August 27, 2023
This very structure of the book makes it easier to connect the dots and understand things better.
The captivating narration of the framework makes it a realistic and gripping read. Each idea, backed up by the author's personal experience, encourages the reader to take action to become the person one admires.
The captivating narration of the framework makes it a realistic and gripping read. Each idea, backed up by the author's personal experience, encourages the reader to take action to become the person one admires.
December 14, 2023
The author sent me an ARC copy of the book for honest feedback on the book. In my private message to him, I concluded that it's a valuable synthesis of theory and philosophy with the added benefit of a nicely thought out and actionable framework. And I stand by that opinion, because he really does synthesize a lot of information into manageable chunks, from wildly different sources, beginning with ancient philosophy, then referencing different psychological concepts and psychotherapeutic approaches. He then reinterprets this information in an original framework full of computer references complete with some cool 3D graphs. Coincidentally my psychotherapist is also fond of using computer references as metaphors.
A lot of work and passion has gone into the making of this book and a lot of bits of information make sense naturally to me. Now, a few months later, though, I'm getting the feeling that I didn't actually get the message. Not the book's fault, but mine alone. You have to work at it, take the lessons you want and need and apply them. Doesn't matter if they don't work at first, apply them some more. And then maybe you'll get the results that the author promises. I didn't do that and I don't feel that I've lost too much. It's something the author actually teaches. He tells you to apply techniques proven to be effective in getting people from the trough of despair to just above water level, and use them to go further and optimize your life as much as possible. All you need is motivation, and that doesn't come without effort.
I'd love to rate it higher, but this is its value on my personal scale. I really think a lot of people, at least those who feel motivated to grow, would get a lot of useful information from this book.
A lot of work and passion has gone into the making of this book and a lot of bits of information make sense naturally to me. Now, a few months later, though, I'm getting the feeling that I didn't actually get the message. Not the book's fault, but mine alone. You have to work at it, take the lessons you want and need and apply them. Doesn't matter if they don't work at first, apply them some more. And then maybe you'll get the results that the author promises. I didn't do that and I don't feel that I've lost too much. It's something the author actually teaches. He tells you to apply techniques proven to be effective in getting people from the trough of despair to just above water level, and use them to go further and optimize your life as much as possible. All you need is motivation, and that doesn't come without effort.
I'd love to rate it higher, but this is its value on my personal scale. I really think a lot of people, at least those who feel motivated to grow, would get a lot of useful information from this book.
April 13, 2024
Review pending as I percolate.
February 15, 2024
I generally have challenges taking in wisdom in written form and applying it to my everyday life, but Ryan has a writing style that really connects with me. He has a great way of layering in what he wants to convey chapter by chapter and uses great visuals as he does so that really helps it stay within my mind to apply to my everyday life.
In Become Who You Are Ryan provides a deceptively simple approach to the choices and tradeoffs people have to make in life. The approach is simple, but applying it is meant to be deliberately complex in the sense it will challenge you to confront and grow yourself in ways that might have been avoided in the past. The beauty though is that, while he makes great examples of what has worked for him, he doesn't presume the same choices and tradeoffs will work for the reader. In fact it's the opposite. It's become who YOU are, not making tradeoffs and choices that others think you should make or what worked for them.
It's also wisdom that is delivered in a way that helps build momentum and chain it into further momentum incrementally instead of expecting instant changes after reading the book. In this way it mirrors viewing life as an ongoing journey of becoming a better version of your best self through the choices and actions you decide to take.
In Become Who You Are Ryan provides a deceptively simple approach to the choices and tradeoffs people have to make in life. The approach is simple, but applying it is meant to be deliberately complex in the sense it will challenge you to confront and grow yourself in ways that might have been avoided in the past. The beauty though is that, while he makes great examples of what has worked for him, he doesn't presume the same choices and tradeoffs will work for the reader. In fact it's the opposite. It's become who YOU are, not making tradeoffs and choices that others think you should make or what worked for them.
It's also wisdom that is delivered in a way that helps build momentum and chain it into further momentum incrementally instead of expecting instant changes after reading the book. In this way it mirrors viewing life as an ongoing journey of becoming a better version of your best self through the choices and actions you decide to take.
February 25, 2024
Ryan Bush has written several books that I have found extremely helpful but Become Who You Are is my breakthrough book of the year so far. He puts forth a theory supported by philosophy, psychology, studies, and his own experience that states our happiness is directly linked to our intentional use of our personal virtues, or character strengths. He goes on to say that depression is a result of not using our virtues and his opinion on how to battle it.
This book is brilliant and is a fantastic follow-up to his other book, Designing the Mind. If you want a game plan to really take control of your thoughts and actions, look no further than Ryan's work.
This book is brilliant and is a fantastic follow-up to his other book, Designing the Mind. If you want a game plan to really take control of your thoughts and actions, look no further than Ryan's work.
March 16, 2024
Motivating
Ryan always gives different perspectives on how to view our lives and ourselves. This book not only a better understanding of myself, it also gave me hope and motivation to find the best version of myself that’s already inside just waiting to be found.
Ryan always gives different perspectives on how to view our lives and ourselves. This book not only a better understanding of myself, it also gave me hope and motivation to find the best version of myself that’s already inside just waiting to be found.
Read
March 23, 2024There's a lot of information here. I think I may not necessarily be the target reader.
It's almost like this was from a course? Tons of information, with drawings and charts.
If this is your thing it's pretty solid.
It's almost like this was from a course? Tons of information, with drawings and charts.
If this is your thing it's pretty solid.
April 18, 2024
The book makes the case for a life of virtue.
Three Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️
Three Stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️
May 6, 2024
Interesting point of view! Liked it!
June 9, 2024
A must read!!!
March 5, 2024
****½
Become Who You Are/i> by Ryan Bush is not your average self-help book. It's a riveting journey into the core of self-esteem, joy, and living a life brimming with meaning. Bush, leveraging his expertise in product design and research, upends conventional views on self-esteem and introduces a novel framework for personal evolution.
Bush's core argument is a game-changer: self-esteem isn't static or an end goal but a vibrant journey of aligning our choices and actions with our deepest values and dreams. He suggests that genuine fulfilment springs not from outside approval but from the inner joy of chasing the best version of ourselves.
Bush's account is a rich tapestry of research, heartfelt stories, and actionable tips. He explores a range of philosophical and psychological theories, from Stoicism to existentialism, presenting them in a narrative that's easy to grasp and delightful to read. His conversational tone, sprinkled with wit and relatable tales, makes sophisticated concepts accessible.
The book's structure is logical and intuitive, guiding us through Bush's methodology for self-realisation. The book is divided into three parts: an overview of the model, an exploration of relevant theory, and how to apply the model and theory to one’s life—all with the aim of aligning your actions with your values, and navigating challenges along the path. This methodical approach offers us a clear blueprint to systematically follow Bush's advice.
The book gains credibility from its thorough research and references from various domains, including philosophy, psychology, and academia. Bush isn't afraid to question the status quo, backing up his viewpoints with solid arguments and evidence.
What sets Become Who You Are/i> apart is its originality and novel outlook on self-enhancement. While it borrows from established philosophical and psychological frameworks, Bush provides a distinctive blend that's both innovative and actionable. The book's real value lies in its ability to motivate us to assume control of our joy and fulfilment, steering us towards a life that's more meaningful and truer to ourselves.
As with all books, it may have a couple of downsides for some readers. Some might find the philosophical discussions somewhat intricate. And the emphasis on individual effort might seem to downplay external influences on our lives. But these are minor issues. Become Who You Are/i> is a thought-provoking and valuable contribution to the self-help genre. Its engaging narrative, structured approach, and research-supported arguments make it an essential read if you are yearning for deeper self-understanding and personal development. It's especially suited for those curious about new perspectives on self-esteem and personal achievement, offering a fresh alternative to traditional self-help methods and potentially having a profound impact on your life.
Become Who You Are/i> by Ryan Bush is not your average self-help book. It's a riveting journey into the core of self-esteem, joy, and living a life brimming with meaning. Bush, leveraging his expertise in product design and research, upends conventional views on self-esteem and introduces a novel framework for personal evolution.
Bush's core argument is a game-changer: self-esteem isn't static or an end goal but a vibrant journey of aligning our choices and actions with our deepest values and dreams. He suggests that genuine fulfilment springs not from outside approval but from the inner joy of chasing the best version of ourselves.
Bush's account is a rich tapestry of research, heartfelt stories, and actionable tips. He explores a range of philosophical and psychological theories, from Stoicism to existentialism, presenting them in a narrative that's easy to grasp and delightful to read. His conversational tone, sprinkled with wit and relatable tales, makes sophisticated concepts accessible.
The book's structure is logical and intuitive, guiding us through Bush's methodology for self-realisation. The book is divided into three parts: an overview of the model, an exploration of relevant theory, and how to apply the model and theory to one’s life—all with the aim of aligning your actions with your values, and navigating challenges along the path. This methodical approach offers us a clear blueprint to systematically follow Bush's advice.
The book gains credibility from its thorough research and references from various domains, including philosophy, psychology, and academia. Bush isn't afraid to question the status quo, backing up his viewpoints with solid arguments and evidence.
What sets Become Who You Are/i> apart is its originality and novel outlook on self-enhancement. While it borrows from established philosophical and psychological frameworks, Bush provides a distinctive blend that's both innovative and actionable. The book's real value lies in its ability to motivate us to assume control of our joy and fulfilment, steering us towards a life that's more meaningful and truer to ourselves.
As with all books, it may have a couple of downsides for some readers. Some might find the philosophical discussions somewhat intricate. And the emphasis on individual effort might seem to downplay external influences on our lives. But these are minor issues. Become Who You Are/i> is a thought-provoking and valuable contribution to the self-help genre. Its engaging narrative, structured approach, and research-supported arguments make it an essential read if you are yearning for deeper self-understanding and personal development. It's especially suited for those curious about new perspectives on self-esteem and personal achievement, offering a fresh alternative to traditional self-help methods and potentially having a profound impact on your life.
February 14, 2024
With a rare combination of intellectual rigor and personal vulnerability, Become Who You Are sticks with you long after reading. Bush presents a masterful blend of mental wellness advice and practical philosophy. Like me, the author has a product design background, and it shows. His work overflows with both intuitive illustrations and a relentless focus on the experience of his readers. It utilizes principles from behavioral science and psychology to help readers design better lives. The book flips so much conventional wisdom on its head and replaces it with actionable insight for deep fulfillment. Bush weaves a novel, interdisciplinary tapestry. His writing integrates clinical research, moving personal experience, and ancient philosophical insight. This book has the potential to change countless lives. I loved it!
August 13, 2025
This was a fresh, unique take on what causes and affects one’s mood, based on neuroscience and psychology with a healthy dose of philosophy. It really resonates with me, where I intuitively knew mental health is not simply chemical, but something deeper yet more accessible. This book illuminates the influence we all have over our own psyche, giving a framework for how to access our higher ideals towards living a life of self-optimization. A powerful, enjoyable, aspirational read.
January 15, 2026
This year when we think about who we are and settle on simply "being", this book serves as a must along the road our personal nirvana - a space where enlightenment is personally catered to our existence. A great read and investment well spent.
February 28, 2024
This book is not like many other books out there. Most recently written books on these areas and topics could be blog articles. But not this book!
Overall, it's obvious that Ryan Bush has put in a lot of effort and conducted thorough research before writing this book. He has organised and presented his findings comprehensively around some challenging concepts and ideas. It's a fantastic skill to be able to compile all this knowledge so masterfully.
"Key Takeaways" sections are incredibly helpful, and I've highlighted so many paragraphs. I plan on revisiting them periodically in the future.
I'd definitely recommend this fresh take on these challenging topics.
Overall, it's obvious that Ryan Bush has put in a lot of effort and conducted thorough research before writing this book. He has organised and presented his findings comprehensively around some challenging concepts and ideas. It's a fantastic skill to be able to compile all this knowledge so masterfully.
"Key Takeaways" sections are incredibly helpful, and I've highlighted so many paragraphs. I plan on revisiting them periodically in the future.
I'd definitely recommend this fresh take on these challenging topics.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews