The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

by Eric Grzymkowski

Whoever said, "sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" never met an a**hole. Here, you'll find more than 1,200 of the most biting quotes, comments, and comebacks ever uttered, "I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence." --George Bernard Shaw"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein"If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you." --Muhammed AliYou won't just find quotes from typical a**holes like Winston Churchill, Joseph Stalin, and Mark Twain, either. You'll also see what happens when practically perfect folks like Walt Disney, Mahatma Ghandi, and Audrey Hepburn lose their cool.So embrace your dark side and get ready to enjoy every over-confident, over-blown, over-the-top a**hole comment you'll ever need.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Writing, Comedy, Reference

360 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2011

Reviews

[Writemoves · Rating 2 out of 5]

I bought the paperback version of this book so I did not get the return on investment (enjoyment) from reading it. Maybe 40 of the 1200 quotes I found interesting or entertaining. Listed below are a few that I liked:

Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

Old age is ---- a lot of crossed off old names in an address book. Ronald Reagan

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Robert Frost

Men do not quit playing because they are old; they grow old because they quit playing. Oliver Wendell Holmes

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. Dilbert

[April · Rating 2 out of 5]

The first couple of chapters had me rolling, but the quotations eventually became repetitive, even weirdly out of context and misappropriated (no distinction between characters and real people, for example). Only 12 years old, this text is not aging well; so many of later chapters are from the "take my wife, please!" variety, with a heavy showing from old gents like Bill Cosby. But when the final quotation seems to be a "witticism" about marital rape? Take my copy, please!

[Jack Hambly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wish that there was a way to give this less than one star.

The author literally went and looked up quotes online and couldn't even establish a style for the quote citations. The chapter breaks were literally place markers with little to no humor or brevity. "Blah, blah, blah. These are quotes about money. Blah, blah, blah. These guys were assholes."

Rather than go on and further express my feelings about this book, I shall leave you with a quote.

"My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined." - The Report of the Week, Running on Empty Food Review

[Edward B. · Rating 2 out of 5]

A bunch of one- or two-sentence quips attributed to more-or-less famous people.
Meh. Fine for what it is, I guess. I mean, I knew what I was getting into.
It seemed like a harmless diversion from the big, boringly-written Worthy Tome that I am otherwise reading at the moment, but now I feel vaguely icky...

[Scott Collins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Decent book. Amusing, but I found myself just looking to get to the end and be done with it. I did finish, but it lost its appeal. About half the quotes could have been deleted and the book would have been shorter but better.

[SHARYN Guarino · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love the title

but love the book even more!
If you love quotes especially that aren't sugar coated, look no further this is the book for you!

[Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing

Had a number of amusing quotes. Serves its purpose. A light read. Sources the quotes as well. Entertaining and fun.

[Richard Simpson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some humorous quotes, some only so-so. Not great, not terribly offensive. Can’t say much more.

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple yet funny

[Shilo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is funny, sarcastic and brilliant. These quotes made me feel right at home because yes, my husband is "that guy". I love him dearly.

[Tony · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who is surprised his tongue is still attached secondary to over-biting, I found this a decent descent into diatribe.

[Nax · Rating 1 out of 5]

看完舒了一口氣，老天啊，我終於看完了，我到底看了什麼？
裡面真正有趣的句子有超過十句嗎？總而言之不是很愉快的閱讀體驗，感覺多數都是為了硬湊字數，跟分類主題也不一定吻合

[Bob Cantrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

What would we do without them

This was a book that was worth reading. How many times have you been standing in a line somewhere and some douche bag in front of you is being an a**hole and you really want to put them in their place by being a bigger a**hole, but can't think of anything to say. Well with this book you can think it or mumble it under your breath at them. I could never remember all the pithy quotes in this book to use them but it is great to know someone, somewhere has done so. So read and enjoy.

[Deyth Banger · Rating 5 out of 5]

"April 7, 2019 –
100.0%
April 3, 2019 – page 276
100% "out of 377"
March 29, 2019 –
50.0% "Page 28"
March 29, 2019 –
50.0% "Chapter 9 out of 14 Chapters

...

Brilliant quotes... well put... well digested... but still some places need edit here and there... but what's important is that this book is a good read."
March 29, 2019 – page 0
0.0% "15 out of 69 pages"
March 29, 2019 – Shelved
March 29, 2019 – Started Reading"

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh.

First of all, the title of this book is misleading. MAYBE 75% of the quotes in the book (and I'm being generous with that percentage) could actually be qualified as "bitter", "cutting" or "caustic". (And it's irritating that the actual insults included don't have any context: the author fails to mention who the speaker's quote is aimed at and it therefore there's less of an impact.) The majority are just quotes by famous people on the random topics the author decided to cover in the book. There's also quite a few inspirational quotes, which fly right in the face of the title of the book. You could just as easily these quotes on brainyquote.com or even the quotes section of goodreads and save yourself a lot of time & some money.

Perhaps my biggest annoyance was the segues between topics are useless, unfunny and contradictory…for example, before a section on quotes about drinking, he says drinkers are assholes…then in the next segue, he says non-drinkers are assholes…bosses are assholes, unemployed people are assholes, the people at the unemployment office are assholes…everyone's an asshole! The 'author' should've just compiled the quotes, divided them up by topic and left it at that. The author's remarks add nothing and it's the collection of quotes is all that matters here.

[Kathy Duey]

Entertaining and hilarious!

[Howard Cruz · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book held a lot of knowledge from many sources, some funny, some amusing but well worth the read.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I find it interesting that he used "a**hole" throughout the book, but all other swear words, including the f-word, were spelled out. :)

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh.

[Karen-Leigh · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was good and a quick and easy read. Very amusing.

[Chris Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delightfully hilarious and insightful, although sometimes the sorting methods seem out of whack and there are some repeated quotes. Still great bathroom reading material.

[Kym Robertson Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

No worries a about this book being PC

To funny. However tragically true it may be. My husband and I read it together. He rarely laughs at anything, but this book had him cracking up! That is the best endorsement there is