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327 pages, Hardcover
First published September 17, 2014
"Ernie was the only person I've ever known who spoke cockney rhyming slang completely naturally. I may have been a Londoner through and through but I was in west London, not east, and the cockney lingo could be confusing, not least because it generally uses two words to represent one, and it is the second word, the one that is often not spoken, that rhymes. So those dazzling teeth were Hampsteads (Hampstead Heath), a piece of fish would be a Lillian (Lillian Gish) and chips Staffords (Stafford Cripps). The newpaper, or linen (linen draper), was paid for with coins from Ernie's sky (sky rocket - pocket). Sometimes rhyme begat rhyme so that a trail had to be followed to get to the source. Thus your backside could be either your Aris or your bottle, because the rhyming slang for arse was bottle and glass, and for bottle it was Aristotle, or Aris for short."
And when he was working as a postman in the countryside....
"On the odd occasion we'd give a customer a lift into Burnham, seating him or her precariously in the back of the van with the parcels... It's said that when the writer and bon vivant Jeffrey Bernard exiled himself to the Devon countryside for a few years, he'd send a letter to himself every day, so that when the postman called to deliver it he could hitch a life to the pub. Rural transport for the price of a stamp."