Fools on the Hill: The Hooligans, Saboteurs, Conspiracy Theorists, and Dunces Who Burned Down the House

by Dana Milbank

From inside the chamber, bestselling author Dana Milbank exposes the petty, inchoate, and dysfunctional state of the Republican House—a confederacy of dunces racing to the bottom, without shame and certainly without the ability to get anything done.  

On January 3rd, 2023, a slim Republican majority took control of the House of Representatives, and the dysfunction began immediately, when they needed fifteen ballots to elect Kevin McCarthy as Speaker—the longest since the eve of the Civil War. They would then dump McCarthy and spend a month in the wilderness searching for a replacement, only to threaten the understudy with the same fate. This is more of a circus than a from Majorie Taylor Greene to George Santos to Jim Jordan, this crowd could find conspiracies everywhere, in space aliens, in the “war” on gas stoves, and in Hunter Biden’s artwork. They would turn Americans against each other, attacking immigrants, members of the LBGTQ community, and even the US military, and they would hijack every bill imaginable with far-right fantasies and crazy ideas. And, yet, they would achieve practically nothing; rather than enact legislation, they would consistently fall into fratricide and petty squabbles, doing everything but the fundamental work required of paying bills, keeping the government running, and protecting national security.

Dana Milbank spent a year reporting from the Capitol and what he witnessed was beyond imagination. It would prove to be the most insane and incompetent Congressional session in living memory. Fools On the Hill is the first book to pull back the veil, and expose all the shenanigans, chaos, and tomfoolery that defines the modern GOP.  It is simultaneously horrifying and laugh-out-loud funny—yet, sadly, all true.
 

Genres: Politics, Nonfiction, Audiobook, History

366 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 24, 2024

About the author

Dana Timothy Milbank is an American political reporter and columnist for The Washington Post.

Reviews

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC for review. To be published September 24, 2024.

“This is the worst team I’ve ever been on,” said Mike Kelly, (REPUBLICAN-PA). Yes, that was the opinion of a member of the MAJORITY party of the House of Representatives in the 118th Congress (their term will end January 2025, Good Lord willing and the creek don’t rise.).

Dana Milbank of the Washington Post takes a depressing deep dive into this group of buffoons. Look, no one is saying the Democrats have all the answers, or that it’s smooth sailing in the Senate, but those two groups look like brain surgeons and rocket scientists compared with the absolute idiots in control in the House. Let’s admire some of their highlights thus far (because they still have time to do additional damage.)

First, they began as they meant to go on by taking fifteen votes to elect panderer Kevin McCarthy as Speaker. And it was a tough, tough call, but NO ONE looks worse in this book than the spineless Kevin McCarthy. And there are large sections of this book about George Santos and Marjorie Taylor Greene. So sit with that for a moment.

Then there’s Mike Johnson, the Speaker absolutely no one wanted (and note that he now believes he was called up by God “like Moses.” I kid you not.

The other misfit toys include the aforementioned Santos (serial liar, likely soon to join Trump as a convicted felon, but, hey, at least he occasionally admitted the Emperor had no clothes) and Greene, Georgia’s own QAnon/Jewish space lasers embracing loudmouth (but, Lord, she’s got energy to spare!), Arizona’s Paul Gosar who regularly speaks to anti-Semitic groups (I once read an article about his siblings, none of whom speak to him because they all think he’s batshit crazy).

There’s a guy named Andy Ogles from Tennessee, with whom I was unfamiliar. Apparently he pulled a Santos, only not quite so egregious, but he lied about receiving a degree from Vanderbilt and I guess….no one cares about this? Nancy Mace is from North Carolina and I held out some hope for her, but she is nothing more than another MAGA moron, desperate to hold on to her seat. You have Clay Higgins who acts like he’s in special ops for some reason, and a guy named Chip Roy who, if there’s assholery going on, is sure to be nearby.

Then there’s the always reliable Jim Jordan who was pissed when his peers weren’t interested in making him Speaker. Maybe that’s because all he ever does is yell in hearings plus he’s got that Penn State-ish scandal around him. Not such a great look. Another winner from Tennessee is Troy Nehls; he’s the guy who wore the Trump mug shot t-shirt to the last State of the Union address. Keeping it classy.

Every time South Carolina’s Ralph Norman appears in the book he seems to be misunderstanding something, like raising the debt ceiling. You know, something that I would feel more comfortable if members of Congress had some sort of handle on (but, to be fair, I doubt Ralph is the only one who doesn’t get it.) Then there’s the dumb and hapless and mean James Comer, head of the Oversight Committee who attempted to impeach President Biden for….well, nothing. They had no evidence whatsoever. Oh, and Lauren Boebert. Who got her GED while in Congress. Who gets into screaming fights with MTG. Who got kicked out of a play for vaping and groping her date and then lied about it and then there was video.

Then there’s Matt Gaetz from Florida. I set him aside. Because but for the fact that Mr. Gaetz apparently/allegedly/applegedly enjoys sex with teenagers, he would be a little scary. Because most of the above people are too dumb to be really dangerous unless they are acting as a group at someone’s direction. Often that someone seems to be Gaetz. He is not stupid. He’s the one who got McCarthy to give away the world to be Speaker. He’s shady and shifty.

FUN FACT: “Before Mike Johnson became Speaker, the House of Representatives had voted to censure one of its own members only seven times in 100 years. In the two weeks after Johnson became Speaker members of the House tried to censure each other eight times.

Why do I read books like this? So depressing. The point the author makes is that the few actual adults are being pushed out by Trump loyalists (they all must bend the knee. Mike Johnson previously spoke harshly against Trump, as did Elise Stefanik, but now they both wear the fixed smile and the red hat) or are leaving on their own because the environment is so incredibly toxic. There is no bipartisanship. There is no compromise. It’s insane and it’s no way to govern, for either side. Demand more from your member of Congress, whether he/she is Republican or Democrat.

And pay attention, because as another Republican member of the 118th Congress said, “you keep running crazies, you’re going to be in this position.” Mike Lawler (R-NY)

[Shereadbookblog · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author and columnist Dana Milbank reports on what he witnessed while covering the current US Congress beginning in January, 2023.

Given the state of political affairs in the United States why would I want to read this book? Why do that to myself? Well, I enjoy Dana Millbank’s writing and wanted to read more it.

This is one of the scariest books I have ever read. Here is the chaos, the lies, the conspiracy theories, the "constant cultural and political warfare”, the attacks on our freedoms, the hooligans, “the sheer volume of crazy” that is Congress today.

Well written and documented, with some biting wit, it is a good thing this is a true account because if it were fiction, I don’t think I would find it believable. It is a horror story gone awry.

This is a book that everyone should read or listen to. The problem with it is that the people who should, won’t.

[John Schorg · Rating 4 out of 5]

A comprehensive, nauseating account of the role that a bunch of Republicans have played in turning the federal government into chaos. As with most of these books, you wonder if more could be done to try and explain the appeal these representatives have in their districts. I am always interested in hearing how they handle the daily problems from the folks they serve. Failure in constituent service often ends up costing elected officials who are more interested in appearing on camera than addressing Social Security questions. We shall see in a few weeks whether their quests for power prove to be lasting.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dana Milbank's book presents a devastating, insider's view of the dysfunction, vindictiveness, and infantile behavior of many of the Republicans in the current Congress. If I could, I would give it more than five stars.

[Mindy Greiling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Depressing to conclude this excellent book on Trump's inauguration day, when the Fools have a trifecta.

[Brad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Milbank brings the receipts in this sad and terrible survey of hundreds of supposed adults throwing truth, integrity, and self-respect out the window to grovel at the feet of the most corrupt, hateful criminal to ever serve as president of the United States. Somehow, some way, this nightmare will end, and as Liz Cheney said several years ago to her fellow Republicans, "Someday Donald Trump will be gone, but your dishonor will remain."

[Matthew · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading about the 118th Congress in Milbanks' book was a terrifying reminder of the chaos we lived through and are continuing to endure. These quotes sum it up:

"We are seeing the complete ethical collapse of a once-great political party into an authoritarian cult of personality taking orders from an inciter of insurrection."

"The damage you are doing will outlive us all."

[Emmet Sullivan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fine. Occasionally funny. Often depressing. Predictably one-sided.

[Mr. Book · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can also see this review, along with others I have written, at my blog, Mr. Book's Book Reviews.

Thank you Little, Brown and Company for providing this book for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

Mr. Book just finished Fools on the Hill: The Hooligans, Saboteurs, Conspiracy Theorists, and Dunces Who Burned Down the House, by Dana Milbank.

This book, by Washington Post’s Dana Milbank, takes a look at the terrible job the Republican party has done since retaking the House of Representatives.

I had high expectations for this one. I had previously read two of his books, The Destructionists: The Twenty-Five Year Crack-up Of The Republican Party and Tears Of A Clown: Glenn Beck And The Tea Bagging Of America, and gave them both A’s. This one was the best of the group.

As Milbank points out, the party admits they have done a terrible job. Even Marjorie Taylor Greene said, “Our Republican House majority has failed completely”. That’s the first honest thing she’s ever said. According to Dave Joyce (R-OH), “We’re a party that can’t govern”, New York’s Mike Lawler says, “You keep running lunatics, you’re going to be in the position” and Greg Murphy (R-NC) bluntly said “We need to, frankly, get our shit together.” If there ever a time to believe ex-speaker, Kevin McCarthy, it was when he said, “The amount of damage they have done to this party and to this country is insurmountable.”

Tony Gonzales (R-TX) got it right when he said, “I serve with some real scumbags” and “these people used to walk around with white hoods at night. Now they’re walking around with white hoods in the daytime.”

The profiles on many of the members were excellent.

All of the “greatest hits” of the Republican party during this time that were covered, including their poor showing in the 2022 election, despite gaining majority status, the George Santos saga, taking 15 ballots to elect Kevin McCarthy as Speaker, the attempts to derail the debt ceiling deal, threatened government shutdown, kicking McCarthy out of the Speaker’s chair, the 22 days without a speaker before selecting the terrible clown Mike Johnson, the attempted impeachment of Biden, the impeachment of Mayorkas, a literal fight between members, the party joining forces with white nationalists and the attempts to rewrite the events of January 6.

As soon as I finished this, I preordered the audiobook so I will be able to also listen to it when it comes out, along with the printed version being available, on September 24.

I give this book an A+ and inducted it into the Hall of Fame. Goodreads and NetGalley require grades on a 1-5 star system. In my personal conversion system, an A+ equates to 5 stars. (A or A+: 5 stars, B+: 4 stars, B: 3 stars, C: 2 stars, D or F: 1 star).

This review has been posted at NetGalley, Goodreads and my blog, Mr. Book’s Book Reviews

Mr. Book originally finished reading this on July 5, 2024.

[Andrew Dittmar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whenever I read a book about Congress in the Trump era, there's a certain degree of me just sort of zoning out. How many times can you read about the inanities and absurdities of our elected officials? How depressing is it that these are our elected officials?

This book stands out because the people here seem rather uniquely pathetic. The stories told here aren't even entertaining - partially because Milbank isn't writing to entertain, but partly because if you follow politics, there's a numbing effect.

I was trying to determine who is the main character of this particular set of anecdotes. I suppose the most central main character, besides Donald Trump, is perhaps Speaker Mike Johnson. And yet, just like his entire public persona, there seems to be so little to make him seem significant or impressive.


There are a couple quotes worth remembering here:

"'We don't fear a government shutdown,' proclaimed Bob Good, or Virginia, who convened the Freedom Caucus news conference. Why not? 'Most of what we do up here is bad anyway,' reasoned Good, and 'most of the American people won't even miss [it] if the government is shut down temporarily.'" (pp. 133, emphasis mine)

I'm reminded of a story about Joe Manchin voting against funds that would go towards his West Virginia constituents, because he claimed that the funds would just be used by people seeking drugs.

I don't know how or why people with such contempt for their work, for their office, not just seek election, but are actually elected. Good's words demonstrate this.


"The people are losing faith in our institutions because you [Speaker Mike Johnson] and others sworn to uphold those institutions are instead attacking them in order to appease your patron. The damage you are doing will outlive us all. " (pp. 344, emphasis mine)

That's perhaps the moral of the story. These people are malignant to the health of American democracy, and they take real joy? pleasure? satisfaction? is ruining the system of government in America - or perhaps more importantly, the faith of the American people that our government CAN do anything good.

Reform is one thing. That's not what's happening.

[Tracey Duncan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fools on the Hill by Dana Milbank is an insightful critique of Congress, specifically focusing on 2023 into early 2024 on the dysfunction that defines what is currently happening on Capitol Hill.

The book blends Milbank’s trademark humor, personal interviews, and serious commentary, showing the political maneuvering, situational manipulation, and wild shenanigans that both Republicans and Democrats who roam the halls of Congress get up to in broad daylight. Milbank's satirical anecdotes are revealing, and they illustrate how political grandstanding and partisanship frequently take precedence over effective governance. Milbank highlights the systemic issues that lead to legislative gridlock, ineptitude, and inefficiency, sparing neither of the two major political parties.

Overall, Fools on the Hill is compelling for anyone interested in American politics. Milbank’s biting satire does threaten to distract from the seriousness of the problems on Capitol Hill, but is, as always, engaging and accessible, making complex political issues understandable and relatable for all citizens trying to understand what has led up to this political climate, for their better and our worse.

Thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for providing a free ARC. This review is provided voluntarily.

[Scott Martin · Rating 3 out of 5]

(Audiobook) (3.5 stars) From one of the Op-Ed writers on the Washington Post comes the insider account of the US House of Representatives from 2022-early 2024. Given the background of the writer, you figure that it wouldn't exactly sing the praises of the Congress. However, the sheer idiocy and immaturity of those in power in the House during that term defy any sort of partisanship. The narrow Republican majority could not seem to get anything going. Sure, they were dealing with a Democratic Senate and White House, but even then, it was a constant contest to see just how inane and ineffective they could make the House. The movie Idiocracy seemed more professional than this one.

Of course, I listened to this right as the current elections ended. The Republicans have the White House, the Senate and at the time of this review seem likely to hold on to the House, albeit with as slim a majority as before. Perhaps a "friendlier" Senate and White House will help, but even still, the House may yet turn into a mad-house. What that means for America...

Overall, a decent audiobook. Your opinion of the work will likely depend on your political leanings. Still, most of the accounts and stories speak for themselves, with no assistance/detriment needed from any writer biases.

[Optimism · Rating 2 out of 5]

i think milbank just doesn't do it for me. i read his prior book, the deconstructionists, last year, and had this to say:

"the later chapters i kinda spaced out on just because they were like... a litany of dumb racist sexist **** 45 and cronies did. the blame for that is not on the author, but on 45; it was the easiest way to record it."

this was... about the same, but from the jump. he's great at giving the "what" but not the "why." it's again a litany without much detail as to what got us here (great example: plenty on mike johnson but no mention of his luck running unopposed in the louisiana house in 2015, or for the us house in 2022 - seems important to me, and i remember reading a lot about it around the time he came to national prominence since he's THE ****ING SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE NOW).

as an aside, and maybe this is just coz i've ripped off three reviews today, but maybe i'm just being too harsh on books right now. world is ****ed, we're ****ed, i think i'm allowed to be. maybe next up will be something easier.

[Ka · Rating 4 out of 5]

I suppose I expect a stronger attempt at being objective from a journalist... sometimes, the author felt a bit too gleeful when reporting about the complete asshattery of the Republican party over the past few years... but then, I can hardly blame him. I mean come on, these people are insane, and it's hard NOT to feel a bit of glee when someone who's waving a gun at you accidentally shoots themselves in the foot. The schadenfreude is real!

Not to mention, the glee does translate into funny commentary from time to time. I think my #1 favorite line in this book was a snarky bit about the time Nancy Mace wore a shirt with a big red "A" on it to the House and said it represented how she, a woman, was "demonized for my vote"... the author raises an eyebrow at her "reinterpretation of Nathaniel Hawthorne." I'd write out the line here but I was listening to the audiobook (which was delightful) and I can't recall where it was. Trust me when I say I actually laughed out loud. In fact, I laughed many times throughout the book, which is pretty impressive given the subject matter.

Even though I was present for the entire debacle and even paying attention to the political news, I had forgotten or been unaware of some of the details of what went on in the HoR last year. I knew it was bad -- I definitely recall all the votes for speaker, the craziness with George Santos, the Jewish space lasers and the Beetlejuice Incident, etc -- but this book reminded me of the insane details and filled in a lot of gaps and backstory for me. I am glad that the writing was so tongue in cheek or I might have gotten really depressed after listening to it and remembering that this is reality, and these particular people are still in office and actually make important decisions which affect all of us.

[Matt Graupman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is not for the faint of heart. Dana Milbank's chronicle of the inept, lunatic far-right MAGA representatives who highjacked the House and ground the legislative branch to a halt is as infuriating as it is entertaining (but entertaining in a morbid, can-you-believe-this-is-how-our-democracy-dies kind of way). At times a little scattershot and repetitive, "Fools On The Hill: The Hooligans, Saboteurs, Conspiracy Theorists, And Dunces Who Burned Down The House" will some day be studied by the roving bands of infectious-disease plagued citizens (no vaccines in Trump's future America) as they stumble across the burned-out remains of what's left of the USA. All because a bunch of nitwits and racists couldn't bring themselves to vote for a woman. Yes, Trump is an awful person - the worst of the absolute fucking worst - but don't let that distract you from the sycophants that helped make his insane policies into law. We're doomed.

[Pamela Beckford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my, Milbank details all of the shenanigans in the Republican House of Representatives the past few years. The chaos, the lies, and the mis/disinformation. The focus on everything except governing showed in how they handled electing speakers - yes multiple speakers. They have become a clown show and Milbank details it all for those who haven't paid attention or have forgotten.

This is obviously a partisan leaning book, but very deserved because of all of their mishandling of their role as public officials. I'm hoping there will be no need for a sequel, but if there is, I will read a sequel as well.

I recommend this especially for those who have tuned out of politics and what is happening on the national level.

I was given this by NetGalley and the publisher in exchange for a fair and honest review. All opinions are my own,

[Anne McLeod · Rating 4 out of 5]

Because I tend to follow news obsessively, I was familiar with way too much of this madness. Reliving it in the pages of this book was so soul-killing, I had to take breaks, which resulted in it taking me almost two months to finish.

Milbank’s research is thorough, and his tone tends toward snark, understandable considering the subject. He deliberately assigned himself to cover the Republican takeover of the House, which suggest a confidence in the fortitude of his own constitution sufficient to withstand the agony of witnessing the idiocy of the Republican caucus daily. I thank him for his service.

A better audience than me for this title would be any voters still undecided. While the antics described in this account are often difficult to stomach, they require as many of us as possible to pay attention and to think critically.

[Andrew L · Rating 3 out of 5]

For the most part I enjoyed this and Dana Millbank is a great writer, who injects a lot of humour and sarcasm into his recounting of everything. While it’s also embroiled in the lunacy of the actions of those in the recent Congress, Millbank delights as he relentlessly and hilariously skewers McCarthy and Greene (among a few others) for their remarkable lack of comprehension of the English language, basic understanding of facts, or knowledge of how the institution they were working for even operates.

Biggest drawback on this one is the structure/editing. The way it’s divided into three parts means we hear about the same congressional proceedings or same political events/stunts multiple times, often written about in a highly similar way as well. For me, this repetition and lack of chronology made it all lose steam towards the end.

[Randal White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating look at the shenanigans the Republican party has been engaging in the House. It would be hilarious, if the stakes were not so high. Never before have such a bunch of self serving, egotistical, and just plain stupid people been elected. Milbank does a wonderful job of describing, in detail, the exploits of all the neer-do-wells. Gaetz, Greene, Santos, Boebert, Comer, Johnson, and McCarthy. It's a shame that so many good representatives have resigned or chosen not to run again because of these fools.
Fantastic book. Excellent writing. Easy to fact check. If only the MAGA people could actually read a book, and not just get their information from right wing sites, they might wake up.
Before it's too late to save our country!

[Ashley K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author (of Washington Post fame) basically describes every stupid or outrageous thing that the GOP members of Congress did when they took control of the House in the 2022 midterm elections. The funny thing is, I remember a lot of this from when it was unfolding (it wasn’t all that long ago, after all!), but having it all condensed into one book makes it a bit overwhelming-- I found myself thinking "oh yeah, I had forgotten about that" quite a bit, because there was such a firehose of outrageous, stupid $h!t happening that it was easy to lose track. From George Santos to Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan and Mike Johnson, Kevin McCarthy, the Hunter Biden witch hunt, to... ACTUAL HEARINGS about UFOs... I just can't. Why do we live in the stupidest timeline?

[Kirse · Rating 5 out of 5]

Necessary reading

Once again, Dana Milbank provides us with historical, truthful information about what is happening in politics today, but wraps it in a digestible tone. It made me laugh often at the stupidity of these Fools on the Hill, but then I would realize that this is truly happening, and I would sober up. I admit, I started reading this before the 2024 election and finished it after... Dana warmed us. How can U.S. citizens be so foolish as to elect the MAGAt dear leader again?!

[Siobhan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm torn about this book. It's well written and interesting, and provides a granular take on the shenanigans that went on in House of Representatives during the current Congress. At the same time, it meant reliving the insanity, which is infuriating, and in some ways frightening. It leaves me wondering how we have come to this. Dana Milbank manages to take a lighthearted look at a depressing situation.

[emma · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the very beginning of the book, Dana Milbank lists Republican House members’ own assessments of their ability to govern, which basically comes down to this:

They can’t. And they won’t.

And yet somehow Americans have to endure this shitshow for another two or more years.

It would honestly be hilarious if you came across this non-functioning bunch of idiots in a TV show. But unfortunately, they’re running the country, and that makes their antics and insanity quite a bit less amusing.

[Regan · Rating 5 out of 5]

An exceptional read. Milbank takes his readers into the halls of the most dysfunctional congress on record. They were clearly proud of the chaos they caused. Interspersed with the telling of each debacle caused by a group of house republicans Milbank includes his own, often funny, quips. They made the horror of things those republicans do at least palitable to read.

[Dee · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you didn’t laugh, it would make you cry. What a horrible group of people! Power sure has gone to their heads. Glossed over so so many names. A book that everyone should read if they want to know the really state of our country!

[Sandra Fish · Rating 4 out of 5]

Get ready for second verse same as the first action in 119. A good read, hilarious at times, except that these are people that American's depend upon to run the government. thought at the time that few people will read this book — or anything else — so it doesn't really make a difference.

[Lori French · Rating 4 out of 5]

Detailing the shenanigans in the Republican House of Representatives the past few years. I was familiar with way too much of this madness. Reliving it in the pages of this book was soul-killing, I had to take breaks. If you didn’t laugh, it would make you cry.

[Nav · Rating 4 out of 5]

With representatives like these, who needs enemies? In all seriousness though, not trusting your government is understandable if these immature, ignorant, self-serving fools are supposed to represent your best. This book is blistering.

[Paulatics · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is proof, with quotes and references, that the Republican Party lies, creates false claims, repeats untrue and misleading statements and theories that are so ignorant and stupid that it is impossible to read this book without laughing and crying simultaneously.

[Mjdrean · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book scared me in that we the people could send so many idiots to congress, lacking any sense of decorum, respect, morality. More and more I'm ashamed to be an American. This book goes a long way in why.