If We're Being Honest: Silencing the Lies We Tell Ourselves to Live a Life We Love

by Jennifer Thompson

If We Are Being Honest is not just a book; it's a guiding beacon that empowers women to break free from the suffocating grip of perfectionism and embrace their true selves.

Do you ever find yourself feeling alone? As if somehow, you're the only person in the world who can't seem to get their life together? Women everywhere struggle with feeling as though we're failing. We shapeshift in and out of our roles as mother, wife, daughter, employee, friend, and volunteer in a desperate attempt to be all and give all... but at what cost?

Jennifer Thompson was doing well at fitting the bill of being a working mom and wife, but on the inside, she was screaming. She wrestled with comparison, and focused on her inconsistencies and gaps, instead of her ability to continually show up. She set expectations no one could uphold, only to beat herself up when she couldn't meet them.

With yesterday's mascara streaming down her face from a good shower cry, she hit a pivotal crossroad. She could continue down a path of chasing perfection at every turn or she could learn to let go. She could choose to love herself today.

She now brings her, "been there done that" stories of her own failures and how accepting herself flaws and all has changed her life...and how it can change yours, too. If We Are Being Honestchallenges women everywhere to walk into freedom and peace by rejecting the idea that perfection exists, and instead, honoring and owning who we are at our core to find joy on the other side.

Are you ready to get honest?

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

224 pages, Paperback

Published April 16, 2024

Reviews

[Rose Blocher · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book to start my year with. It feels like this was written FOR me, as if I wrote this in the future for my past self.
Though I wasn't able to relate to any of the motherhood portions, it still made me feel seen. As if I were talking with my mother or a friend.
This helped me dig down and understand some of my deepest insecurities. A quote that definitely stuck out to me is
-pg. 191 "I learned that I couldn't expect change if I'm unwilling to change myself." Ouch. This hit me hard. It sounds so simple and quite frankly like common sense. However, I've been complaining about my life well...forever, but I never do ANYTHING.
I've been wanting to write a book since I was a kid. This gave me the push I needed to finally start. I can't expect success to happen overnight. I need to WORK for it and DO something!
Thank you for writing this book. It's helped me not just understand myself but also my partner. Some things were mentioned that I know my partner goes through but doesn't talk with me about. This helped me understand him in a deeper way.
A beautiful book that I will highly recommend!
Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the eArc!

[Nadiia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, I’m torn.
This book is for tired women (working moms, professionals, daughters, full-in-the-role). It’s simple and non-revolutionary. You won’t find any new, world-changing stuff here.
Yet it’s like a regular coffee date with a dear friend where you take turns in ‘darling, have a told you a story when…’ and discussing things that bother, scare, embarrass you.

Overall, if you feel tired, in need of a advice, someone nodding their head in understanding all the juggling it takes to be a woman — that’s a good book

[stephsbookedout · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up If We’re Being Honest at the perfect time! Thompson laid out some hard truths I needed to hear to reframe my thinking and self-perception. Throughout If We’re Being Honest, Thompson’s aim is to empower women, providing readers with an opportunity for self-discovery and to rise unapologetically into the women we are meant to be.

I really enjoyed the content, with Thompson exploring topics such as Shaping Our Expectations, How We See Our Bodies, Who We Are, and Healing and Holding Our Truths. The chapters were concise and were supported by academic literature and Thompson’s own self-reflections. Each chapter was followed up with a section for ‘Moving Forward’, which often comprised of questions that challenged the reader's current thoughts and perceptions and a call for action. Readers who pause to reflect during this time will find they gain more insight from the book.

Some chapters heavily focus on the impact motherhood has on women’s perception of themselves and their bodies. While I am not a parent myself, I still found these chapters relatable as they focus on the multiple demands of conflicting priorities and how that impacts women’s self-worth.

I’d recommend If We’re Being Honest to anyone who has experienced life perceived as a woman or to those who wish to gain a deeper understanding of life perceived as a woman. This book will facilitate a reflection on how this experience has impacted a woman's internal monologue and subsequent actions before empowering women to take a step in the right direction and start living life unapologetically! Fans of Brené Brown are highly encouraged to pick this up.

[Randi Latzman · Rating 5 out of 5]

"If We're Being Honest" is everything the title claims, and more. It challenges our belief systems by dissecting our thought patterns and conditioning. Her book is broken up into three sections (Shaping Our Expectations, How We See Our Bodies, and Who We Are), with each chapter focusing on a belief.

Jennifer Thompson has offered words of hope, inspiration, and support for women all over the world through her social media accounts. Her words continues to inspire and offer comfort with every page of this book.

Although she writes from her own perspective as a woman and mother, her words resonate with all genders, ages, and stages of life. She gently guides us by weaving her own life experiences and encouragement throughout the book.

Each topic is meant to make us question our reality , and that is not an easy topic to tackle. Jennifer does it seamlessly, and through her vulnerability, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and challenge our faulty perspectives. She also offers thought provoking questions at the end of each chapter to help us along our healing journey.

Reading this book is like having a heart-to-heart with a good friend. You feel seen, understood, and valued. If you are looking for a book that will both support and motivate you, look no further.

[Amber B. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t say enough about this book. I crave authenticity and vulnerability. I am not a small talk type of gal. Meaningless conversations about the weather drain me. But this…this book kept me going. It was such an easy read because I could relate to almost every story shared on some level. Don’t assume that because you aren’t a mother you won’t relate, because I’m not a mother and I felt myself in so many of her words. Jennifer’s stories are so much more than just about motherhood - they deal with feelings of inadequacy in every area of our life, let down, frustration, feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Who hasn’t felt all of these things? Besides her ability to relate to all of us on different levels, Jennifer also offers sound guidance and reflection questions to challenge our status quo and help us grow so that we can move past each of our failure beliefs.

[Louise Foerster · Rating 5 out of 5]

From the first lines of IF WE'RE BEING HONEST by Jennifer Thompson, I felt I was sitting across from a kitchen table with a dear friend, spilling out the messes and dilemmas of our lives. In clear, straightforward chapters, Thompson shares the story of her reckoning with an impossible mission of perfection in every aspect of her life. Awakening to the futility and pain of perfection, she dismantled it, discarded it, and started living for herself, on her own terms, and with her own generous and thoughtful heart. I deeply enjoyed this book, feeling understood and supported and wishing I'd had her beside me with the heart, the wit, the candor of this transformational, liberating guide. I received a copy of this book and these thoughts are my own, unbiased opinions.

[Tina Wainscott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jennifer is truly honest in this book, about the pressures she's felt and the ideals she put on herself to be it all. I love her warm, empathetic tone that makes me feel that she really cares about me and all mothers who are on the hamster wheel of life. The career and to-do's don't go away, of course, but the pressure and shame when we do flub up can go away. She's worked through it and now gives us encouragement and even action tips to work through it, too. She does this at her Facebook page, TheyWhineSoIWine, but here you get it all in one place and so much more. This is an easy read but it can take you as deep as you're ready to excavate old beliefs and patterns to live your best life. Highly recommend!

[Dora Okeyo · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has four key parts that start from the root cause in terms of our expectations, what shapes them- to how we see our bodies, then to who we are and finally healing and holding our truths. Each of these parts explores the lies we tell ourselves and what struck me most was that it's more like the stories we convinced ourselves-what we learned by observing the people and women around us-and how much of who we are that we let be judged by others.
It's an interesting read because the author does delve in the narratives that I believe most women would relate to.
Thanks Netgalley for the eARC.

[Jenn McEvoy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you, NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book. This book was very good. I did feel like this book was aimed more at mothers. A lot of the information wasn’t relevant to me but, I could relate to some of the information. One of the key points of this book was about not feeling bad about setting boundaries and saying no without feeling guilty. This is something I’m continuing to work on especially as I’m trying to do less people pleasing tendencies.

Overall, I enjoyed this book and highly recommend it to any woman even if you’re not a mother like me, you’ll still gain some knowledge along the way.

[Danielle Sherman-Lazar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jennifer's debut novel, "If We're Being Honest," is a must-read. If you are familiar with her Facebook and Instagram page, They Whine, So I Whine, you won't be surprised to hear that. Through her signature voice, she dispels failure beliefs like "we need to say yes to everything" or "I don't know how to set good boundaries." We can see ourselves in her struggle. As Jennifer makes these changes in her life, we also want to. Her advice "moving forward" is so helpful to get our lives started on the correct path. She is truly inspiring, and I can't wait for many more books from her for years to come.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to Goodreads Giveaways for my copy. Although I couldn’t relate to some of her examples because I don’t have children, the other examples definitely hit home. Her stories and perspective of how to reflect on situations is something I will be able to incorporate into my life.

There were several phrases and thoughts that I wrote down so I can refer to them again and again when the situation warrants it.

I recommend this book to all women.

[Heidi Lengenfelder · Rating 4 out of 5]

If We Are Being Honest is not just a book; it's a guiding beacon that empowers women to break free from the suffocating grip of perfectionism and embrace their true selves.

This book came to me at the perfect time. I felt a little lost and unsure of the direction my life was going. This book made it easier to believe that life doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be yours.

Thanks to NetGalley and Urano World for an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Amy Betters-Midtvedt · Rating 5 out of 5]

here is so much to love about this book it is hard to know where to begin. Jennifer shares her heart in these pages and through her (super) relatable stories you will find yourself feeling less alone. The idea of honesty and self acceptance is like a very badly needed breath of fresh air in our world. If you are struggling and overwhelmed and just need a friend to say me too...this book is for you. A great read and a great gift for that person in your life that needs a pep talk.
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[Christine Derengowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s honest, as promised, and warmly engaging. Jennifer paints a relatable picture of our most common struggles as women, like setting boundaries and body image. But she also offers a realistic path forward. I love that the questions posed at the end of each chapter felt like they were coming from a friend who knows me well. It was easy to get lost in this book and get equally honest with myself.

[Tammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I felt like she was just speaking to me! Instant connection and validation! I loved the talking points/journal prompts at the end of each chapter too!!

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

"If We're Being Honest" is the first nonfiction book I've picked up in years and it was well worth it. Jenn writes beautifully: clear and concise, while showcasing her unique voice, which allowed her words to come across very authentically. The book is very well-organized and the way it's set up allows you to skip to chapters that stick out depending on where you're at in life. Although I am not a mother, I still found Jenn's words universally relatable as a woman who heavily identifies with the struggles we face every day.

Some reviewers mentioned it felt like they were speaking with a friend, and while that is a great way to describe it, it felt more to me like I was talking with an older sister. I don't have one, but it was reminiscent of hanging out with someone older who's gone through it all and survived it to retell her stories and give you the sisterly advice we all need to guide us through life.

I am so glad to have this book on my shelf and I can't wait to revisit it in the future when I'm in a different life stage. If you're searching for your next read, "If We're Being Honest" would be a fantastic addition to your shelf.