To Cutting Me Open, and Spilling Me Out

by n.s. burton

This is for the ones who have been ripped into too many pieces to count and too many to put it back together. For the ones who understand relapse. This is for the ones who hate recovery, but pray for it. So that one day, they no longer have to feel this pain. For the ones who chose to love their scars no matter how deep or how visible they are to the eyes of the ones that don’t understand. And finally to those of us who have been able to love again.

Genres: Poetry

Paperback

Reviews

[Yves V.H. [Slow reading] · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know that a poetry book is good when it unearths emotions you thought no longer existed. Somehow, it just manages to pull those feelings from somewhere down the deep deep soil and make you think of how you were feeling that time.

The emotions in this collection felt really raw and I really mean it when I say it made me think of the past though it doesn't hurt anymore; it's just making me aware that I am not alone and what I felt then was valid.
 
 💎 Thank you SunnyBabe PR and author for the eARC copy. All thoughts and opinions are my own and I am leaving this review voluntarily

[Vileen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this in one sitting (oops). Please note the trigger warnings, as this is a heavy read!!!

I really applaud the courage for Burton to publish such raw, vulnerable, gut wretching feelings to the world. You may not be directly going through what the author has, but I personally felt that what I was reading heavily resonated with me. This poetry book delves into self destruction, dedicating your love to someone who simply wants to shatter you and doesn't value you (toxic relationships), suicidal ideation, self-harm, the struggle for self-love, the impacts of trauma, and how we fall into the same ugly self destructive habits because we learned to find comfort in them.

This book is a reminder that you aren't alone in how you feel, how your mind constantly wants to convince you that you aren't enough, not good enough, or unlovable.

As a mental health advocate, I really think this is a good read while shedding such raw insight. Even if you're not a big poetry reader, you should definitely check it out!

Thank you Sunny Babe PR and to the author for an ARC of this poetry collection in exchange for an honest review and the opportunity to read your first book!! :)

[Faye · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you @sunnybabepr for sending me this arc!🫶🏻

TRIGGER WARNINGS: self harm, depression, heartbreak, recovery

This is such a great poetry collection! I related to so many things the author wrote about and to read her journey from depression, heartbreak and self harm to recovery and finding new love was so refreshing. I thought she did an excellent job of expressing how hard recovery is and the thoughts that can happen when you’re mentally in a bad place.

Recovery is a long process and that was shown in this collection. It takes a lot of work but when you start to feel better about yourself it’s the best feeling.

I would 100% recommend this poetry collection. Make sure you read the trigger warnings, but it was a really good read with raw emotions and a relatable journey to follow.

[Zury Z · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a powerful book of poetry about the authors struggles.
I read this book in a day.
I felt all of the emotions convey here.
This book gives perspective and brings awareness of what some people go through because of their circumstances.
I Am glad I had the opportunity to read it and I think is so brave of the author to publish all of her raw emotions in one place.

[Johanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

To put your emotions out for the world to see is extremely brave and this book is a representation of that bravery. Nicole is a beautiful author inside and out and I was given the privilege to get and eARC of her beautiful and raw poetry book. Thank you for your art and magic.

[Abbie Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NS Burton and Sunnybabe PR for sending me this poetry collection as an eARC.

I don’t often review poetry, but have always loved and appreciated it. This particular collection was contemporary, with similar vibes to those of Rupi Kaur and Amanda Lovelace.

What I loved the most about this collection was the journey of healing and self love that it represented, and how this was not linear but realistic. The first section was a very difficult read: dark and vulnerable and intimate, but raw and realistic. It brought emotions and experiences to the surface whilst reading.

The following section was all surrounding the mental challenges of self acceptance, recovery and self love- which at times can feel impossible, especially after trauma. I really appreciated that this accurately reflected the conflict of progressing and the changing mindset with the challenges of overcoming the past. This was beautifully written in places.

Most of all, I loved that the voice of this collection found herself, before finding love. And that in finding love, she is happy.

Mental health is not linear, but it is always possible to learn to love yourself.

“It’s all about a girl who loses herself in more ways than one, but ends up finding herself a little along the way.”

“Love is rare. Acknowledge it.”

[Lau · Rating 4 out of 5]

Firstly, I want to say thank you to both Sunny Babe PR and the author n. s. burton for the opportunity to read this arc 🫶🏼

This is a beautifully written poetry collection that really tears at your heartstrings. It's explicitly raw and vulnerable and intimate, and I believe it takes a lot of courage to lay these feelings and experiences out. It's very personal, and I admire that. I think this can and will help many people feel more seen and supported and less alone, and perhaps understand more their own feelings.

*Be aware of trigger warnings, as it discusses depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and self-harm.

[Madeline · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book so fast I just couldn’t put it down. The authors words are so beautifully written and something that so many can relate to. I learned so much about myself and life through reading this and I would highly recommend this book. Thank you @sunnybabepr and the author for allowing me the chance to read this book as an ARC . I enjoyed it very much.

[ash😈 · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you Sunny Babe for the ARC.

This was beautifully written.

It made me feel as if I was reliving memories, the hurt. The need to feel loved. Like it was out of my diaries growing up.

I cried from the get.

[Jenna D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a raw and gut wrenching first novel!! When I tell you I was in tears from start to finish it is not a lie. I connected to this book in ways I forgot existed and it really made me reflect back on the roller coaster that was past relationships. As well as appreciated every waking moment I spend in the right relationship with the man I love. Congrats to n.s. burton on an amazing piece, and thank you to Sunny Babe PR for the opportunity to read this book.

[Dakota Thompson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you Sunny Babe PR & N. S. Burton for sending me this ARC in exchange for my review.

“Mental health is a daily struggle, and it’s okay to be vulnerable— to be heard.”


This was a beautiful story that really did cut you open and feel all of these emotions. I loved it and I’m so happy I was able to read this! I recommend reading this, especially if you went through something similar or if you know someone who is or did go through it.



Trigger Warnings - this collection discusses themes of: Depression Anxiety Suicidal Ideation Self-harm

[Jasmine Parra Rubio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing. Stunning. Gut wrenching. Soul shattering. Soul searching. Soul healing.
I’m so happy that I was able to read this beautiful poetry book, what an amazing start to 2024.
Do I recommend this book to everyone I come across? Oh yes I will.
Is having the physical book a priority? Oh absolutely! Look at that lovely cover!!! The aesthetic of it alone will highlight my bookshelf.
But back to the poetry, ughhhhh I loved it.
The author herself poured her blood, sweat, and tears into this and as a reader, you can tell.
That’s what makes this poetry book so damn top level amazing.
She talks about her own journey, that many of us readers can relate to without realizing that we do, which grants an awareness and healing into our own lives.

[Courtney Riggio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kind disclaimer: please check trigger warnings before reading.

I truly loved reading this. The depth and emotion that the author portrayed were amazing. This book is written beautifully and filled with raw emotion that many people can relate to. Even if you don’t typically read poetry, I highly recommend this book.

Thank you, Sunny Babe PR, for sending me this ARC in exchange for my honest review.

[Zoey Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love poetry, this book was so raw and real. As someone who’s struggled with the themes in this book, this really spoke to me. If you’re looking for an emotional, uplifting read this is the one!

A few of my favourite quotes:

“progress is being able to
read the words
written months ago
and no longer feeling the anger”

“I am happy.
I am alive.
I am beautiful.”

[elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my first poetry book to read outside of a school setting and holy crap. It is so raw and beautiful. I felt the pain through the words and almost cried ( I am not one to cry from a book). It made me think about my past and I used to self harm and never felt good enough. So beautifully written.

Thank you @sunnybabepr for sending me this beautiful book to read! I will definitely recommend it to anyone interested in self harm recovery subjects.

Thank you to the author for trusting us with your heart and soul with the book. You are a hero ❤️

[Jasmine Teresa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you SunnyBabePR and N.S. Burton for the ARC read in exchange for my honest review.

To Cutting Me Open, and Spilling Me Out is a poetry collection that deals with some heavy themes not for the faint of heart. Many poems dealt with subjects such as depression, self-harm, heartbreak, rebuilding of the self and falling in love again after heartbreak. I've experienced all of this in my life as well so connecting with her pieces was fairly easy. Her words resonated with me deeply and sent a rush of emotions my way. I look forward to reading more of Burton's work in the future.

My reasoning for 4 stars instead of 5 was because of the typos and grammatical errors throughout the book. It took away from some of the poems because I was trying to piece it together, but overall Burton's words are beautiful.

Check trigger warnings before reading for the best experience!

[MaKenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this collection of poetry. It was so real and raw.
Really good. Definitely check this out if you're a poetry lover! <3

[Kristy what_is_kristy_reading · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh, my heart. I felt this deep in my soul. The heartbreak, the depression, the pain, the recovery, the light at the end of the dark, dark tunnel. The sunshine of new love—good love, healthy love.

n.s. burton, you’ve put into words what so many of us have felt or are currently feeling. Thank you for sharing your pain and your recovery with the world.

CHECK TW/CW: suicidal ideation, self harm, ED

[Danae Jacklynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

“It’s all about a girl who loses herself in more ways than one,
but ends up finding herself
a little along the way”

4⭐️

firstly, thank you @sunnybabepr and @author.nsburton for the opportunity to read this arc.

wow. I haven’t read poetry in a long long time and I forgot how much I love it. this revived something in me. It’s a story of love, loss, pain and self discovery and it was heartbreakingly beautiful. there’s something about poetry that will always feel deeply personal, as if the author is speaking directly to the reader. It’s an experience quite like anything else and this is a perfect example. I felt like I was in the room with nicole and it made me want to reach out and hug her. It was a glimpse into her soul that I am grateful to have been given.

To Nicole,

thank you for being vulnerable with your readers. I think you’ve created something that will resonate with so many people and it’s such an important story. I admire your strength and your resilience in a time of such deep pain. You are beautiful!

To other readers,

I beg you to check your trigger warnings for this piece! There are some very heavy topics discussed. Examples include: depression, anxiety, self harm, suicidal ideation and grief. stay safe friends🫶

[Jordan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This poetry collection tells the story of heartbreak, despair, recovery, healing, and so much more. The words of N.S. Burton are soul deep and devastatingly beautiful. She is raw, real, open, and vulnerable. She doesn’t shy away from the heavy, the difficult, the things that make your heart ache. She dives into it all with painful honesty. She pours her heart and soul out onto these pages in a palpable way. You can feel the despair, the sadness, the devastation, and also, the optimism, the hope, and the joy.

This collection is a journey that sucks you in with a dark intensity. She takes us along the spectrum from the very first early and raw and horrible days of heartbreak to the tender and fragile hope found in recovery, new love, and healing.

To Cutting me Open And Spilling me Out was my first ARC poetry collection, and I’m so glad I chose to read a genre I normally don’t. Thank you SunnyBabePR and N.S. Burton for choosing me for the ARC team!

[Nashi · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a beautiful, gut wrenching, heartbreaking and hopeful way to express feelings. Poetry is truly an art form that requires a lot of bravery, and this book is a testament to that. A journey through all the emotions an individual may feel when suffering from depression and self harming. A journey of recovery and how it is not easy and it is not pretty. And a hopeful conclusion but not an end demonstrating how life can be beautiful again, that recovery although not perfect is possible.

I truly loved it and will be definitely recommending it. If you love poetry and would love to read this book make sure to check its trigger warnings. This book discusses topics like: depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation and self-harm. But don't let those keep you away.

Thank you sunnybabepr and n.s. Burton for the chance to review an arc copy of this book. It did not influence my review in any way, shape or form.

[Jennifer Galang · Rating 5 out of 5]

To Cutting Me Open, and Spilling Me Out by N.S. Burton @author.nsburton 🥺
Rating: 5/5⭐️

Disclaimer:
*Before you read this, check its trigger warnings. But if you can’t find any trigger warnings, here they are.
this collection discusses themes of:
- depression
- anxiety
- suicidal ideation
- self-harm

My Overall Thoughts:
Loved this. Especially since it’s poetry and I don’t usually read poetry books at all. But let’s just say this one is so beautifully written. And this is her first book she’s ever written. Loved every page of this so much. Loved how she writes what she’s going through and what she’s feeling and turned it into a poetry book. It’s okay to spill out what you’re going through as well as what you’re feeling in your life sometimes or most of the time everyday so then to those people who are feeling the same, you’re not the only one you know.

Thank you to the author herself for giving me an opportunity to read her first book. 🤍

[Bookishly Destiny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t read a lot of poetry, but I jumped at the opportunity to read this one! The story follows a girl who is struggling with her mental health after a devastating breakup. It is a raw and real depiction of what is like to love after loss and how one can recover after relapse (sh). I felt as though I resonated more with the beginning and middle more than the end. I believe the author could have added more poems depicting the healing journey. Love is great, but self love is better and it would have been better if it showed her developing a healthy relationship with herself. I highly recommend this poetry collection for those of you who are struggling to find the light in the dark. Those of you who gave the last piece of yourself to someone who didn’t deserve it.

You are not alone.

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

‼️ please read trigger/content warnings before reading ‼️

WOW. All of Nicole’s heart and soul was put into this. It was such a beautiful poetry book.

It was soul shattering. Gut wrenching. Beautiful. Soul searching. Soul healing. For Nicole to put so much of her soul, blood, sweat, and tears into this poetry and share with the world is brave. And she has so much of it. 🫶🏼

Do I recommend reading this? Yes!
Did I love it? Beyond yes!
Did it make me feel something? Hell yes!
Did it make me tear up? Yes!

I 100% recommend diving into this poetry book (even if you aren’t a big reader of poetry) it is THAT GOOD.

Some of the poems that stood out were:
•May 5
•1:58am
•Love- Hell
•Sept. 21
•11:47am
•Continue
•12:50pm
•Feb. 19

[Heather Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

TW: Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideation, Self-Harm

Thank you to Sunny Babe PR and the author for providing me with an E-ARC in exchange for my honest opinion!

This collection of poetry was so raw and filled with emotion. The author did a great job at expressing how hard recovery is and the thoughts that can happen when you are not in a great place, mentally. I was able to relate to a lot of these poems, which made me feel seen. What I liked about this poetry collection is that it's very personal, you can tell that the author has been through a lot, and she poured her heart out onto these pages. It's been a while since I read some poetry, and reading this made me want to read more. This poetry collection is a heavy read, it will tear at your heartstrings. The dedication alone will have you in pieces: "𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙧𝙞𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙥𝙞𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧. 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙥𝙨𝙚. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙖𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙞𝙩. 𝙎𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙣𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣. 𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙙𝙚𝙚𝙥 𝙤𝙧 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙪𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣."

Some poems that stood out to me:
- the anger inside, page 22
- Sept 3, page 35
- Feb. 19, page 42
- 2:41pm, page 48
- 6:12pm page 54-55

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @Sunnybabepr for sending me this ARC in exchange for my review.

Nicole… I just want to say I feel as if I was by your side through it all! The depth and expression is beautiful! I don’t normally read poetry but just the title told me I had to give you a chance and I’m beyond grateful that I did! You putting yourself out there like this is incredibly inspiring! Not only did you show how you’ve grown to love yourself with your past but you allowed me to realize how far I’ve come from the dark to the light!

And in your wonderful words always remember… “ But we made it.” And “ thank you, for not giving up”

[Taylor Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received as an ARC from Sunny Babe PR and N.S. Burton - thank you 🩷

This is raw and heartbreaking. I’m not generally a big poetry person, but there were so many in this collection that spoke to me. There is a small list of TWs at the beginning, so take those into consideration when reading if needed.

Truly beautiful, I don’t know if I have more to say. Being able to read the physical, mental, and emotional change from beginning to end, seeing the change happen page by page was weirdly sweet? Like I’m laying here on the couch so happy for a complete stranger.

Absolutely recommend to poetry lovers.

My favourite line:

From December 6

My anxiety is high
My mom is busy

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

First and foremost thank you sunnybabepr for the arc. This is my honest review.

WOW, I absolutely felt the emotions with each word written. The rawness and honest feelings of each poem was just so powerful. Some hit my soul to the core.

I love a good poetry book with truth within it that you could relate to. To struggling and to healing.
The last entry, the letter to Past self had me truly teary eyed.
Just beautiful.

[Mackenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

ARC REVIEW:
This poetry book follows along on deep issues regarding self harm and putting your love for yourself in the hands of someone that doesn’t treasure you. Because it’s so easy and hard to break that habit of self destruction when they are constantly going back and forth of their feelings. But through moving on and what step at a time. We all fall back in love with ourselves. And then one day we will find the one we can trust to love even our ugliest parts of ourselves.

This book is very heavy but also sooo beautiful. And I would really recommend reading it.

[Samantha Ivy (novelsbysamantha) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you to Sunny Babe PR for the ARC in exchange for a review!

This book was so beautifully written. It's almost as if the author was reading my own journals. The way each poem just pours out brings so much emotion. Well done.