Sa Antipolo Pa Rin Ang Antipolo

by Abner E. Dormiendo

Ipinaalala sa atin ng mga tula ni Abner Dormiendo ang kapangyarihan ng liriko: bawat taludtod, daliring nangangalabit; ipinaalala sa atin na isa akong ako, isa ring ikaw, nagnanasa, nalilibugan, nagdedeliryo, umiibig, sinusubok na mabuhay sa paraang kaibig-ibig, nabibigo paminsan-minsan, at sa harap ng lahat ng ito, nagtatangkang umapuhap at magsawika ng sari-sariling katotohanan. “Heto ang sining ng lahat ng pagkawalay,” wika ng makata, at alam nating higit pa sa mga anino o pinto ng Antipolo ang kanyang tinutukoy. Heto ang sining— heto tayong kayang yanigin ng isang bago at malalim na tinig. Hindi ko alam kung may layunin ang tula, pero kung meron man, baka ito na nga iyon: Mas naging tao ako matapos mabasa ang mga tula ni Dormiendo.

Genres: Poetry

72 pages, Paperback

Published January 1, 2023

Reviews

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first heard Sara Bareilles’s ‘Manhattan’, it was a revelation. It was probably the first time I heard a song that treated a city as more than just a place, elevated it into a vital, but often overlooked, part of a relationship. It also showed me that a place could be given, returned, and fought custody for. “You can have Manhattan, ‘cause I can’t have you,” Bareilles sang. Conversely, the poet Abner E. Dormiendo in his moving collection ‘Sa Antipolo Pa Rin Ang Antipolo’, wrote, “Ang masamang balita: / sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo. / Ang mabuting balita: habang-búhay na táyo nandito.” We will always have a part of ourselves left in that special place.

Dormiendo took a similar approach: giving life to a place that was an important part of a couple—the third member. In his case, it’s the city of Antipolo where he grew up, fell in love, and broke his heart. Through his poems, he told the story of his relationships with two poetic personae, named, or perhaps even three, with the third one unnamed or yet to be brought to light. The poems in this collection were titled with events and situations that perhaps bore a significance to the poet. And I appreciate that outlined, outright theme. It told me that Dormiendo put his smarts in the creation of this book—he had an image, a goal of how he wanted this to be and I think he achieved that. Going from the typical free verse form to prose, the extent of Dormiendo’s skill was apparent in this collection.

We tend to comment that someone has bared their soul, but sometimes it is misleading or even wrong. With this book, I don’t think it is misleading to say that; I think it’s apt. Every poem in this collection was more personal than the last, more intimate and vulnerable, with Dormiendo baring his soul more and more through each entry. The names of the personae were dropped, making it almost uncomfortable and voyeuristic, that I should not even have my hands on this book. But it was also so generous of Dormiendo to let the readers see him as naked as he had been in these poems. Through lines that were revelatory and passionate, he relayed how the city of Antipolo became his city and how he had lost it, finding solace in different other places, particularly my city of Santa Rosa, but always, always, going back to the place where he was made.

In my favorite poem in this collection “Sa Antipolo Ako Napaibig Sa Iyo”, Dormiendo wrote: “Minsan iniisip ko / kung ano ang nása ilalim ng iyong kamiseta, / at kung ano ang nása ilalim ng nása ilalim / ng iyong kamiseta.” It was cheeky, but also sincere, which I think perfectly sums up the overall tone of the collection. And it was an image that mimicked what he had with this book. The readers saw what was underneath Dormiendo’s shirt and what was underneath that shirt. We got to know him and his city and what a privilege it was to have done so.

[Billy Ibarra · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Antipolo mahal kong bayan
Pinagpala sa yumi at sa 'yong kagandahan." - Mula sa "Antipolo Hymn"

"Kung ang mundo ay Antipolo, gumawa ng bagong Antipolo."

Sa Antipolo ako ipinanganak, namulat, natutong uminom, natutong manigarilyo, na-bully ngunit natutong manapak at manipa, natutong magmahal, natutong masaktan, natutong maghilom, at patuloy na lumaban, kaya damang-dama ko ang koleksiyong ito ni Abner Dormiendo. Pamilyar na pamilyar sa akin ang mga lugar sa Antipolo, maging ang mga taong nakasama ko rito, mula sa Mayamot, sa Cupang, sa Peñafrancia, sa Pagrai, sa Masinag, sa Padilla, sa Boso-Boso, sa overlooking, sa Taktak, sa mga resort, hanggang sa Katedral ng Antipolo. Nasubaybayan ko ang pagbabago ng lungsod kasabay ng pagbabago ng mga taong nakasalamuha ko rito. Tila isang pagbabalik-tanaw ang mga tula sa mga nakaraang di-mabubura ng alak o ng usok ng sigarilyo. Nananakit, kumukutkot sa mga sugat na malapit na sanang maghilom o naghilom na.

Gustong-gusto ko ang paggamit ni Dormiendo rito ng Antipolo bilang imahen sa mga tula. Kilalang-kilala niya ang Antipolo kung paanong kilalang-kilala niya rin ang mga alaalang iniwan nito. Marami pa ring kinakanta ang mga bata tuwing flag ceremony; wala pa rin akong nakikitang estadistika ng pagpapatiwakal; mahimbing pa rin ang isang dambuhala at di alam kung kailan magigising; hindi pa rin ako nakakikita ng puno ng Tipulo; pinababasbasan pa rin sa katedral ang mga bagong biling sasakyan; marami pa rin ditong nagkakabanggaan; marumi pa rin ang politika; mahirap pa rin makasakay; masarap pa rin ang suman, mangga, at kasoy; pamahal nang pamahal ang presyo ng lupa; mas gumulo ang batas-trapiko---maraming nagbago at nanatiling pareho, katulad kung paano tayo umibig at patuloy umiibig.

Hindi lang tungkol sa Antipolo ang aklat; tungkol ito sa alaala ng dating pag-ibig, sa pangungulila, sa mga nasa, sa mga pangarap na hindi n'yo na sabay makukuha. Sa dami ng pag-ibig na dumaan, malilimutan mo ba ang ilang nagbigay sa 'yo ng matinding pagmamahal at kasawian? Mag-iiwan ito ng marka katulad ng isang malaking pilat mula sa di-malilimutang pagkadapa.

[jusdani · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s such a shame that my fondness of Abner betrays me as I attempt to review his first poetry collection, but believe me when I say that this was such a visceral experience. I’m not well read, let alone well versed, in Filipino poetry, so my standards might be different from what everyone else seeks in what makes a good local poet, but let me go out on a limb and say that Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo makes for a great start in exploring literary work that expresses a love and longing for one’s origins while attempting to make sense of how these feelings have influenced, and continue to shape, one’s identity. I can only imagine how emotional of a read this is if you hail from the same city as my favorite 2015 Palanca winner.

Each piece contains a confession that Abner marries with details about the city of Antipolo. From nonexistent suicide rates, to a church that’s turned into a cathedral, to Antipolo being no stranger to dirty games in politics, he invites you to explore the outskirts of NCR as well as his inner psyche—how both are intertwined and one serves as a prerequisite to understanding the other.

Sufjan Stevens has Chicago and Joan Didion, Sacramento. Abner has all of Antipolo right on the palm of his hands. It’s his city, his whole world, and we’re just living in it.

Here are my favorite pieces from the collection:
Sa Antipolo pa rin Ako Naghihintay sa Pagbabalik Mo
Sa Antipolo Pinababasbasan ang mga Bagong-Biling Sasakyan
Sa Antipolo Ako Tumigil Manigarilyo
Sa Antipolo Madumi ang Politika
Sa Antipolo Malakas Minsan ang Pag-Ulan
Sa Antipolo Mo Ako Iniwan
Sa Antipolo Siguro Táyo Titirá Nang Magkasama

[a]

ITO ang tunay na yearning

[Pia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo is a 61-page poetry book by Abner Dormiendo. The book cover features its title in large, black, bold letters, the word ‘Antipolo’ appearing twice, with each having its own line, the word laid across the cover end-to-end. This foreground is against hundreds of thin capillary-like lines endlessly connected to each other, that anyone living here would instinctively recognize as Metro Manila. Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo is an ode to the city, and it begins with its face. Antipolo takes up space because Antipolo is the point.

This is art (!!), is what it is, that the chaos of NCR urban planning could be reconfigured into a visual element that represents the book’s contents, have an instant effect on the onlooker, and look so fucking cool. I’m so used to meaningless regurgitated Western aesthetics on Filipino book covers, flat imitations that do nothing for the work and inadvertently expose their writer’s superficiality.

Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo's cover stands out to me for being the exact opposite. It’s genuine. It's effective. It excites me. And that’s what the book itself ends up being.

Abner Dormiendo is a poet for real. That is, Dormiendo understands that poetry is not merely the turns of phrase or emotive passage. Poets are the romantics that look out into their real world, and poetry is the transformative process of putting that gaze into tangible passage. In this collection, Dormiendo’s gaze is towards love, towards Antipolo.

Love, in three forms
I find that Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo is a book about three types of Love. Type I is about a passionate love felt for two women (named in-text as Kathleen and Samantha). Type II is the aesthetics of traditional Christian devotion. Finally, we have Type III, which is the love of Antipolo that cradles the speaker and his relationships.

So, based on what pulled me to the cover, and my personal 2025 reading theme of The City, I obviously was most excited for the Type III Love (the love of Antipolo).

On the surface, the poems seemed mostly about the Type I love, the relationships. Kathleen and Samantha are the subjects of almost all the poems. Mostly Samantha, who is the explicit addressee of the speaker's poems. The speaker feels an pull towards Samantha’s body, irresistibly strong and blissful. When the relationship was alive, the pull was felt through: Yearning for her touch, expressing love through intertwining of and contact between body parts, closing the distance between their bodies, etc. This touching comprises most of the poems’ action. Animating the speaker, love for Samantha is a north star that everything explicitly leads back to in the first part of the collection.

When love is lost, its absence is almost like a physical disease the speaker must treat, through: drinking alcohol, drinking sleeping medication, drinking alcohol as sleeping medication. When Samantha left the speaker, the interventions he required showed that the loss was so massive it affects him on a fundamental, physiological level.

I liked that the two subjects aren’t a set of features—an overused and in my opinion shallow treatment for depicting muses. Instead, it’s a series of moments specific to these bodies. A portrait that is intimate for having a haptic dimension, while avoiding the revealing effect of the visual.

The muses are still somehow passive, if they can even be considered a textual actor at all, as they are primarily receivers of the speaker’s love.

This passivity is made up for by the depth of Dormiendo’s depiction, which is the use of many Filipino-specific theological motifs (i.e. aforementioned Type II). Through titles of veneration, appeals to the bishop, lyrics of hymns, prayers for loved ones, etc., the collection employs a wide variety of Christian aesthetics familiar to the average Filipino Christian. Combined, the deep familiarity and reverent tone creates an image of sincere devotion to God Himself, therefore reinforcing its use for Samantha. As in: blaspheming is the only way the speaker could get close to truthfully capturing their love.

I’m into this sort of artistic aesthetic. The feudal romanticism inherent to divine Christian motifs hits viscerally for me. Whenever a piece of art uses it sincerely, it makes the mood nostalgic and a bit challenging emotionally.

And asides from the elevating effect this aesthetic lends, there is a real thematic resonance between the Type I and Type II. Bringing back my earlier point, Samantha and Kathleen are just receivers of love, mostly unseen but overwhelmingly felt. If this is familiar, it's because this is also how God and God’s Love is depicted in laymen religious teachings. God is like the wind, and all. Samantha is not God to us, but she was loved like she was a God by the speaker, making it so that the devastation her departure creates is more understandable.

The Emotional Transformation
Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo has an incredibly robust, poetically nuanced finding-myself throughline, an understated natural presence you can feel in between the lines. It begins with scenes of the relationship, followed by processing of the break up, and concluding with the speaker rediscovering the loves he has left.

I didn’t fully comprehend what was there until the very end, with the closing lines bringing into focus the connection of every poem that came beforehand.

In their overt form, the emotional transformation is expressed through the relationships with the cities. Resenting Makati, comparisons to Manila, exile in Laguna, and, most prominently, the love of Antipolo. At first, these mentions felt like a trickle to my ravaging thirst to read about cities. But now having read the whole thing, there’s a fullness to the careful but meaningful mention of every city. Samantha went to Makati, leaving the speaker in Antipolo. During his brief time living there, the speaker finds Laguna to be like Antipolo, but not the same. And so on.

Dormiendo trusts us to read between the cities—confident in both his writing and our perception.

And here I must mention that the book totally lives up to its big idea. Antipolo is found throughout the collection, at first I assumed as a relatable background to a standard romance, akin to Maki’s viral lyrics name-dropping QC, UP and BGC in Saan?.

Further along, we find Antipolo’s depiction evolving, taking up more space and growing in complexity, and we see that the speaker inadvertently explores his own relationship with Antipolo. Because the thing is, Antipolo is the love after all. Once you realize it, the earlier writing choices showcase a fluency for writing love.

One such example is Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo’s mode for physicality. Physicality usually comes from the muse, and if you take that preconception and look at the book, we find it is not in human flesh but the scenes of Antipolo. Named highways (Sumulong, Marilaque), places referred with their colloquial names like Overlooking. Specific mundane scenes: ten-wheelers, asong walang bakuna, parades and their kitschy provincial aesthetics, talahibans, hot midday roads. In directing our eye to the less glamorous face of Antipolo, we feel an authentic, loyal piety the speaker feels towards the city.

Another is in the breakup portion. The break up with Samantha going in the poem’s foreground is also a break up with Antipolo, as the speaker put himself in exile to Laguna so he can escape the reminders of Samantha he sees everywhere in Antipolo. Here, the speaker believes his heartbreak of Samantha is greater than his love for Antipolo. But as he loses his ache over Samantha, his longing for Antipolo does not.

When his house was broken into, the speaker’s mind drifted to Antipolo, realizing he could not feel the security of Antipolo anywhere else. And that was so impactful to me, to find the speaker realizing that the love for his city is greater than even the most exciting romantic love.

This is when I read back on the collection. Several iterations of romantic love opened the book, a part that felt monotonous to me, yet in returning to poems I wanted to get over with, looking with new eyes, I kicked myself mentally. With a purposeful examination at how the Samatha emotional thread and the Antipolo emotional thread juxtaposes each other, I saw a lively, beautiful, smoldering revelation. The love for other people is rapturous. The love of the city, of Antipolo, is a fortitude.

Final Thoughts
Abner Dormiendo takes on a classical poetry subject, love, and makes it his own in Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo. From the angle of his literary devices to the ghostly imprint of the major emotional arc, to the focus on routine scenes of his conventionally beautiful city, there’s a sophistication to its construction that doesn’t call attention to itself, making it truly stick the landing. My favorite unique flair of Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo is its love for the city. Especially in its role to the concluding tone, as we close by seeing the growth needed for the leavers to turn about-face and decide to walk home.

[Ginel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first Tagalog collection I've read. Sana ganito lahat.

[Mx. Andy Feje · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think may certain charm talaga ang mga akdang nakasentro sa lunan. Higit sa pagiging koleksyon ng mga tulang pag-ibig, mga tala ito ng pagtangi sa bayan~sa Antipolo.

Pinaka nagustuhan ko sa koleksyong ito ay ang “Sa Antipolo Ako Napa-ibig Sa Iyo” at ang “Sa Antipolo Madumi ang Politika”.

[Nagmamaliw · Rating 5 out of 5]

sana ako na lang si samantha

[Neil Ludovice Cerillo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ang 𝗦𝗮 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼 𝗽𝗮 𝗿𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼 ni Abner E. Dormiendo na marahil ang sinasabing “𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘢 ng pag-alala” — kalabisan ng pangungulila sa pagbabalik-tanaw.

Sa likha niyang mga tula, makikita ang konseptong ito sa bawat kanto ng Antipolo, sa katedral, sa Masinag at kanto ng Mayamot, sa palad ni Maria, sa may uniberso, sa mga bitak ng kisame, sa inuupahang kuwarto, sa laman, sa katawan, kay Kathleen, o kay Samantha — maging sa mambababasa ng librong ito—ay may hatid na pag-alala.

Labis ang aking paghanga sa malalim na pagkakahulugan ni A.E. Dormiendo sa tema ng bawat mga tula nito. Tiyak na muli niyang mabibigyang buhay ang pagkawili ng mga mambabasa sa mga tulang limbag sa wikang Filipino. Ang librong ito ay may isang natatanging estilo ng pagsusulat base sa teknikalidad — kailangang mas bigyang pansin ang ibig iparating ng bawat saknong at taludtod tungkol sa tema ng tula. Ngunit sa kabila nito, sa kabuohan nito ay mas maiintindihan na ng mambabasa ang buong kwento.

Isa sa pinakapaboritong kong tula niya dito ay ang “Sa Antipolo Malakas Minsan ang Pag-ulan.” Nakapaloob dito ang mga katagang “May liham doon: Babalutin kita ng kahit anong maaaring ibalot ko sa iyo: hininga, titig, braso, pag-ibig. At heto na naman tayo sa pag-ibig. O dakilang pag-ibig. O tarantadong pag-ibig. Buong akala ko matatakasan ko sa tulang ito ang pag-ibig, ngunit nagkamali na naman ako.” Hatid ng mga linyang ito ang pagkatakot at pagtakbo sa “konsepto ng pag-ibig” sa buhay natin kahit hindi naman ito maiiwasan. Isa pa sa humablot ng aking diwa ay ang parteng, “Sipi ng aking panayam [tumbadong puno ng sampalok]: Huwag kang iibig sa bagyo kahit pangakuan ka niya ng sanlaksang ulan.”

Katulad ng sabi ni A.E. Dormiendo sa huling tula niya dito, “Hinahatak ako pabalik / ng mga bagay na hindi ko mabitbit.” Ang librong ito ang makakapagsabing may mga bagay tayong babalikan pa rin kung saan man natin ito iniwan o naiwan. Kayo na ang bahala kung magiging masaya kayo o hindi sa maaalala ninyo.

Sapagkat para tagapagsalaysay sa libro, “Ang mabuting balita: habang-buhay na tayo nandito.”

[readiculously_ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't expect to feel so much.
Reading Sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo felt less like reading and more like remembering— something distant but familiar, something tender and raw brushing against memory and emotion all at once.

Though I’m no expert in Filipino poetry, this collection cut deep in its quiet way. Each poem moved with a softness that startled me, tethered to something larger: a place, a history, a boyhood, a body learning how to carry love and grief at the same time.

What stayed with me was how the poet wove Antipolo into every thread—not just as setting, but as symbol, anchor, witness. Antipolo isn’t just where things happened; it’s why they happened, how they lingered. It's the constant backdrop to joy and ache, to silence and rupture. A place that holds memory like a wound that hasn’t fully closed.

Antipolo becomes more than a reference point—it becomes a poetic compass. The city maps the emotional terrain of the speaker’s life: desire, heartbreak, shame, longing, tenderness. Every return to it feels like touching a bruise to see if it still hurts. And often, it does.

As I read, I felt it all:
The sharpness of longing.
The soft weight of remembering.
The heat of desire, the chill of shame.
The ache of loving something you can’t fully return to.

Some lines were so quiet they almost slipped past me—but then they echoed back a few pages later, fuller, heavier, like a realization arriving late. Some poems made me feel exposed. Others made me feel held.

What struck me most is how the poet makes space—for contradiction, for vulnerability, for all the messiness of what it means to belong to a place and to people. Love isn’t shouted here—it’s traced in the absences, in the city’s contours, in what’s left unsaid.

This book doesn’t ask to be understood.
It asks to be felt.

And I did.
Fully.

[Zen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tulad ni Abner, sa Antipolo rin ako unang natutong magmahal, masaktan, at mahanap ang sarili ko ng paulit-ulit. Kay dami na ngang nagbago sa Antipolo; dati hindi ko maintintindihan kung bakit ganoon kabilis ang pagbabago ng isang lugar o ng isang tao at para sa isang musmos, hindi ito sadyang makatarungan. Ngunit sa Antipolo pa rin ang Antipolo, pero mag-iiba rin ako kalaunan. Kahit minsan ay pilitin ko man hanapin ang mga taong minsang tumira sa Antipolo at sa puso ko, alam ko rin na nag-iba na rin sila. Bagaman ganito, pag-ibig pa rin ang magmamapa ng landas ko pag-uwi ng Antipolo.

Although very much personal and too close to home, I'd still like to commend the author's style. Their words were straightforward and bold yet it also felt extremely raw and vulnerable with the hint of metaphor and hidden meaning under it.

[Eron Bituin · Rating 4 out of 5]

tama siguro talaga. the people we met in the past imprints something within us—once happened, it also strains the space we shared with those we share memories with—this is basically what abner dormiendo offers with this collection of poems.

our whole identity is a jigsaw puzzle and the people we met are the pieces. baka kaya maraming tao ang binanggit ng persona sa mga tula dahil lahat sila ay bahagi ng pagbuo niya sa kanyang sarili?

bukod sa lahat, gusto kong hinayaan ng awtor na makipag-umpugan ang tula sa iba pang porma ng sining (sa pelikula, mitolohiya at kuwentong bayan, hoegrapiya) kaya't mas naging siksik ang bawat liriko.

isang bagay lang: for the lack of better word; simp ata ang persona?

[Kristoffer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Deeply moved by these poems of Abner Dormiendo. I have never looked at Antipolo the way I experienced fleeting love. The words, the landscapes described, the geography of raw love and longing— it was the first time I have read such a work in Filipino. I’d love to read more and experience more. This book made me feel more human in all our frailties and desires. Thank you, Abner!

[Yana · Rating 5 out of 5]

grabe this is a whole rollercoaster ride of emotions but i feel heavy the most

[Sasha Dalabajan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't been very lucky in my poetry book choices so far this year, but picking this up pulled me out of that rut.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pikon na pikon ako sa husay niyang sumulat at manakit

[cloy · Rating 5 out of 5]

i love it. this man yearns, and the poems are intimate and raw

[Gray Pages · Rating 5 out of 5]

ito yung tipo ng masakit na hindi ka iiwanan. matagal ko nang natapos to pero omg naiisip ko pa rin!!! maganda, malalim, gumuguhit yung sakit. my first five star read this year.

[nangungulila · Rating 3 out of 5]

Personal Faves:
- Sa Antipolo Ako Tumigil Manigarilyo
- Sa Antipolo Siguro Tayo Titira Nang Magkasama

[Cha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I HAVE BEEN WELL ADJUSTING!