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Two Envelopes: What You Want Your Loved Ones To Know When You Die
When you die, there are so many things your family and loved ones immediately need to know. Two Envelopes is your voice, conveying your wishes regarding your death and your estate.With a unique blend of wisdom, humor and empathetic storytelling, Rusty Rosman delves into the often-avoided topic of death, offering readers a guide to navigate the complexities of both practical and emotional aspects of end-of-life planning. Rusty’s wisdom and heartfelt way of guiding her readers make this book unique among the other end-of-life planning workbooks available online.“Two Envelopes is not a workbook or a filing system!” Rusty tells groups she talks with nationwide. “This book is a guide to personal reflections and conversations you’ll have with your loved ones. As you prepare your envelopes, you will be ensuring that your voice, your wishes, continue to guide your loved ones after your death.” Her book includes an invitation to connect with Rusty to talk with your group as well.Missy Buchanan, the best-selling author of many of her own books on faith and aging, writes the book’s Foreword, recommending it for individuals, community groups and small groups in congregations nationwide. “Two Envelopes is not just another end-of-life planning workbook. It is a uniquely personal resource, like sitting at the kitchen table with a dear friend sharing coffee and conversation about hard decisions. The steps are practical and uncomplicated, yet when completed, the Two Envelope plan will provide your family members a clear and concise way to recognize and honor your late-life decisions. Most of all, Two Envelopes offers an opportunity to give peace of mind and comfort to your dearest loved ones in a season that is riddled with deep grief and uncertainty.”This is a valuable book for individuals and congregations of all faiths, writes Rabbi Joseph Krakoff in the book’s Preface. “As Rusty Rosman shows us, it is never too soon to gather our loved ones and pose the hard questions that will ensure our wishes are honored both in life and in death,” writes Krakoff, who is CEO of the Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy Network.Finally, Lauren Rosman O’Desky affirms Rusty’s warmth and wisdom in the book’s Introduction. Lauren is Rusty’s daughter and a Certified Senior Advisor who is a specialist in running a number of senior care services. Lauren describes Rusty’s long experience in helping families, which Lauren values both as a professional in this growing field and a daughter who has watched Rusty at work through the generations of their own family.“While caring for someone by being present and providing for their needs is a noble endeavor, demonstrating the forethought and care to ease the transition after your own passing is an immeasurable gift,” Lauren writes. “Two Envelopes stands as an indispensable roadmap for this journey. … I implore you to do yourself and your family a favor by delving into the pages of this book and completing the journey it outlines.”
112 pages, Hardcover
Published February 20, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
February 14, 2024
Rusty Rosman invites us to shape our legacies
This is an unusual review, because I know Rusty and consulted with her on the development of her new book, Two Envelopes. I agreed to work with Rusty over the past year because I think the world will be a better place as families find her book and follow its step-by-step suggestions in laying out end-of-life wishes. Those range from details of a memorial service, and related customs, to the ways our survivors receive our legacies.
"In talking to people about this book, I'm beginning to realize that it's really a matter of keeping chaos from overlaying grief," Rusty told me as she neared the official national launch date of her book on February 20, 2024. As is the case with most authors, early copies of her book have been distributed to individuals and small groups and Rusty has been getting an earful of enthusiastic responses. "I can't tell you how many families never talk about these things—and the result is nothing less than chaos. It's needless pain. There's enough grief when someone we love dies that, if we can alleviate some of it with a little planning, then that's a good thing to be doing, isn't it?"
I agree completely.
If you have ever looked for end-of-life planning books online, then you have seen the dozens of books listed in the genre on Amazon. Yes, there are dozens. Then, if you look carefully, you will find that a bunch of them amount to "knock offs" of a very basic concept: blank pages with a tersely worded check list of items to list for your family in the event of your death. There are a few exceptions in this genre. For example, there is one particular high-end book offered on Amazon that was prepared by accountants as an end-of-life financial planner—but that's a different kind of book than Rusty has written.
In fact, there's nothing quite like Two Envelopes—because there's only one Rusty Rosman.
Yes, she is a veteran businesswoman and community leader. She's also a family matriarch with decades of experience helping loved ones and dear friends wend their way through the end of life—and helping families with what comes next. So, she combines both business-savvy awareness of planning with a wealth of life-wisdom that has made her a uniquely compelling advisor on these matters. She's Jewish, so she is steeped in Jewish traditions, but she also has made it her mission to connect with funeral professionals and experts in other religious traditions as well.
In short: She knows her stuff—and she knows how to talk to real people about real concerns. Most importantly, she knows the quirks of real family dynamics.
Consider, for a moment, the question: What clothes do you want to be buried in? That is, if you choose a coffin and a public viewing, which of course many people do not, these days, as they head directly toward cremation. But, for the millions who still prefer a viewing, "you cannot imagine the emotions around choosing the clothes you'll be laid out in! I can tell you so many stories I've heard about just this one small thing!" Rusty told me recently. "Well, it turns out, it's not a small thing! And all it takes is a little pre-planning, a little thought in advance, to avoid so much confusion about this one simple issue. For families that get the clothing all wrong—they can regret that choice for years. This may sound trivial, but it's absolutely true that it matters deeply to a lot of people."
Turns out, Rusty is right! I've now asked lots of people about this particular clothing issue, prompted by Rusty having raised the question. And, almost without exception, that question sparks stories of funeral home visits that either were ideal—because a family knew exactly how to have their loved one laid out for a viewing—and stories of traumatically poor choices made by grieving relatives. It's true—people remember bad clothing in a coffin for decades.
And that's only one of the many, many issues Rusty raises in her Two Envelopes. The book's text is written in the same voice Rusty uses when talking to groups about these issues. In these pages, she walks readers through all kinds of questions they will want to answer to guide their loved ones through the end of life and the always emotional process of distributing one's legacy. And that includes, of course, preparing letters for loved ones to cherish after we're gone.
I describe this book as a gift of love—or I sometimes call it as a true mitzvah for our loved ones.
I'm so proud that I got to work with Rusty in the early stages of this book. So, yes, this is an unusual Goodreads review because I did play a role in helping my friend to bring her book into the world. It was a pleasure because her voice is distinctively wise and loving. If you ever get a chance to be in one of Rusty's workshops and see her deliver this message "live," then you'll know what I'm saying here. Yes, I am disclosing that I played an advisory role—but this is 100 percent Rusty's book.
And, now, although it may sound like a somber recommendation, please consider getting a copy for yourself or for someone you love. You'll be so glad you did this, after you've taken this journey with Rusty. And your loved ones will be glad you did this—someday.
Of course, my prayer is your "someday" may be years in the future. But, as we know, that someday will, indeed, come for all of us.
This is an unusual review, because I know Rusty and consulted with her on the development of her new book, Two Envelopes. I agreed to work with Rusty over the past year because I think the world will be a better place as families find her book and follow its step-by-step suggestions in laying out end-of-life wishes. Those range from details of a memorial service, and related customs, to the ways our survivors receive our legacies.
"In talking to people about this book, I'm beginning to realize that it's really a matter of keeping chaos from overlaying grief," Rusty told me as she neared the official national launch date of her book on February 20, 2024. As is the case with most authors, early copies of her book have been distributed to individuals and small groups and Rusty has been getting an earful of enthusiastic responses. "I can't tell you how many families never talk about these things—and the result is nothing less than chaos. It's needless pain. There's enough grief when someone we love dies that, if we can alleviate some of it with a little planning, then that's a good thing to be doing, isn't it?"
I agree completely.
If you have ever looked for end-of-life planning books online, then you have seen the dozens of books listed in the genre on Amazon. Yes, there are dozens. Then, if you look carefully, you will find that a bunch of them amount to "knock offs" of a very basic concept: blank pages with a tersely worded check list of items to list for your family in the event of your death. There are a few exceptions in this genre. For example, there is one particular high-end book offered on Amazon that was prepared by accountants as an end-of-life financial planner—but that's a different kind of book than Rusty has written.
In fact, there's nothing quite like Two Envelopes—because there's only one Rusty Rosman.
Yes, she is a veteran businesswoman and community leader. She's also a family matriarch with decades of experience helping loved ones and dear friends wend their way through the end of life—and helping families with what comes next. So, she combines both business-savvy awareness of planning with a wealth of life-wisdom that has made her a uniquely compelling advisor on these matters. She's Jewish, so she is steeped in Jewish traditions, but she also has made it her mission to connect with funeral professionals and experts in other religious traditions as well.
In short: She knows her stuff—and she knows how to talk to real people about real concerns. Most importantly, she knows the quirks of real family dynamics.
Consider, for a moment, the question: What clothes do you want to be buried in? That is, if you choose a coffin and a public viewing, which of course many people do not, these days, as they head directly toward cremation. But, for the millions who still prefer a viewing, "you cannot imagine the emotions around choosing the clothes you'll be laid out in! I can tell you so many stories I've heard about just this one small thing!" Rusty told me recently. "Well, it turns out, it's not a small thing! And all it takes is a little pre-planning, a little thought in advance, to avoid so much confusion about this one simple issue. For families that get the clothing all wrong—they can regret that choice for years. This may sound trivial, but it's absolutely true that it matters deeply to a lot of people."
Turns out, Rusty is right! I've now asked lots of people about this particular clothing issue, prompted by Rusty having raised the question. And, almost without exception, that question sparks stories of funeral home visits that either were ideal—because a family knew exactly how to have their loved one laid out for a viewing—and stories of traumatically poor choices made by grieving relatives. It's true—people remember bad clothing in a coffin for decades.
And that's only one of the many, many issues Rusty raises in her Two Envelopes. The book's text is written in the same voice Rusty uses when talking to groups about these issues. In these pages, she walks readers through all kinds of questions they will want to answer to guide their loved ones through the end of life and the always emotional process of distributing one's legacy. And that includes, of course, preparing letters for loved ones to cherish after we're gone.
I describe this book as a gift of love—or I sometimes call it as a true mitzvah for our loved ones.
I'm so proud that I got to work with Rusty in the early stages of this book. So, yes, this is an unusual Goodreads review because I did play a role in helping my friend to bring her book into the world. It was a pleasure because her voice is distinctively wise and loving. If you ever get a chance to be in one of Rusty's workshops and see her deliver this message "live," then you'll know what I'm saying here. Yes, I am disclosing that I played an advisory role—but this is 100 percent Rusty's book.
And, now, although it may sound like a somber recommendation, please consider getting a copy for yourself or for someone you love. You'll be so glad you did this, after you've taken this journey with Rusty. And your loved ones will be glad you did this—someday.
Of course, my prayer is your "someday" may be years in the future. But, as we know, that someday will, indeed, come for all of us.
June 12, 2024
a must read for everyone
Thank you Rusty for sharing this book! Yes we all need to create our envelopes for life! Your words are truly special.
Thank you Rusty for sharing this book! Yes we all need to create our envelopes for life! Your words are truly special.
November 20, 2024
Well done suggestions for the aging as to what you should prepare for your family about your final wishes. Excellent thoughts on organization.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews