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Do I Stay Christian?
Dubbed "a heroic gate-crasher" by New York Times bestselling author Glennon Doyle, Brian McLaren explores reasons to leave or stay within the church and if so how...
"Important book…Helps you find a deeper and wiser faith " —Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM, author of The Universal Christ
Do I Stay Christian? addresses in public the powerful question that surprising numbers of people—including pastors, priests, and other religious leaders—are asking in private. Picking up where Faith After Doubt leaves off, Do I Stay Christian? is not McLaren's attempt to persuade Christians to dig in their heels or run for the exit. Instead, he combines his own experience with that of thousands of people who have confided in him over the years to help readers make a responsible, honest, ethical decision about their religious identity.
There is a way to say both yes and no to the question of staying Christian, McLaren says, by shifting the focus from whether we stay Christian to how we stay human. If Do I Stay Christian? is the question you're asking—or if it's a question that someone you love is asking—this is the book you've been waiting for.
"Important book…Helps you find a deeper and wiser faith " —Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM, author of The Universal Christ
Do I Stay Christian? addresses in public the powerful question that surprising numbers of people—including pastors, priests, and other religious leaders—are asking in private. Picking up where Faith After Doubt leaves off, Do I Stay Christian? is not McLaren's attempt to persuade Christians to dig in their heels or run for the exit. Instead, he combines his own experience with that of thousands of people who have confided in him over the years to help readers make a responsible, honest, ethical decision about their religious identity.
There is a way to say both yes and no to the question of staying Christian, McLaren says, by shifting the focus from whether we stay Christian to how we stay human. If Do I Stay Christian? is the question you're asking—or if it's a question that someone you love is asking—this is the book you've been waiting for.
272 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2022
649 people are currently reading
4023 people want to read
About the author
Brian D. McLaren
124 books553 followersBrian D. McLaren is an internationally known speaker and the author of over ten highly acclaimed books on contemporary Christianity, including A New Kind of Christian, A Generous Orthodoxy, and The Secret Message of Jesus.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 324 reviews
December 21, 2022
If we're talking about staying or leaving Christianity, what definition of "Christianity" are we talking about? I appreciated that fact that the author acknowledged that "Christianity doesn't refer to one simple thing. Like any religion, Christianity is a complex mixture of many different things...". I've copied the eleven different facets of Christianity identified by the author in the following spoiler.
Part I is divided into ten chapters providing ten reasons to say no. The chapter titles provide short descriptions of their contents. I've provided the ten chapter titles (i.e. ten reasons to say no) in the following spoiler.
Part II is also divided into ten chapters providing ten reasons to say yes. The chapter titles provide short descriptions of their contents. I've provided the ten chapter titles (i.e. ten reasons to say yes) in the following spoiler.
Part III strives to encourage readers, regardless of their answer to the question in the title of this book, to be better humans. The author defines this as being "the most just, kind, and humble version of ourselves that we possible can, day by day ... to lean with others into a new humanity, a new generation or new kind of humanity, open to every good resource that can help us, explicitly Christian or not."
Near the beginning of Part III in the "Include and Transcend" chapter, the author has provided a chart that delineates four stages of spiritual maturity. The author suggests that some people who have left Christianity would have been happy moving instead to another stage of spiritual understanding had they known such an alternative existed. Click here to see chart (p. 162-165). An even better version of the chart is at the following link:
http://brianmclaren.net/wp-content/up...
Since I have included the chapter titles of Parts I and II, I have also included chapter titles for Part III in the following spoiler. However, I found these chapter titles less descriptive of their contents than was the case in the other parts.
Here's a link to a review of the book from The Presbyterian Outlook:
https://pres-outlook.org/2022/07/do-i...
The author admits that by the time he finished college he had "affiliated with Christianity on eleven out of eleven markers." But in subsequent years every single marker became "problematized" for him. It is from this background that the author offers the following description of the purpose of this book.
I am not writing this book to convince you (or myself) to stay Christian. Nor am I writing this book to convince you (or myself) to leave Christianity identity behind forever. Instead, I want to think through the question of retaining or shedding Christian identity with you looking over my shoulder. And I want us to consider how we are going to live, whether or not we identify as Christian.The book is divided into three parts; Part I gives reasons to say no to Christian identity, Part II gives reasons to say yes to Christianity, and Part III explores the question of how we're going to live whether or not the decision is yes or no.
Part I is divided into ten chapters providing ten reasons to say no. The chapter titles provide short descriptions of their contents. I've provided the ten chapter titles (i.e. ten reasons to say no) in the following spoiler.
The author's description of the reasons to say no to Christianity are quite convincing, and people who have already said no to Christianity will find the material in Part I to be a useful articulation of the reasons for their position.
Part II is also divided into ten chapters providing ten reasons to say yes. The chapter titles provide short descriptions of their contents. I've provided the ten chapter titles (i.e. ten reasons to say yes) in the following spoiler.
Whether the reasons for yes are as convincing as they are for no will probably depend on the reader's existing circumstances. Readers who are members of faith communities with which they are comfortable will find the reasons to say yes to be convincing. Others faced with finding a new community with which they can comfortably identify will most likely not be moved.
Part III strives to encourage readers, regardless of their answer to the question in the title of this book, to be better humans. The author defines this as being "the most just, kind, and humble version of ourselves that we possible can, day by day ... to lean with others into a new humanity, a new generation or new kind of humanity, open to every good resource that can help us, explicitly Christian or not."
Near the beginning of Part III in the "Include and Transcend" chapter, the author has provided a chart that delineates four stages of spiritual maturity. The author suggests that some people who have left Christianity would have been happy moving instead to another stage of spiritual understanding had they known such an alternative existed. Click here to see chart (p. 162-165). An even better version of the chart is at the following link:
http://brianmclaren.net/wp-content/up...
Since I have included the chapter titles of Parts I and II, I have also included chapter titles for Part III in the following spoiler. However, I found these chapter titles less descriptive of their contents than was the case in the other parts.
Here's a link to a review of the book from The Presbyterian Outlook:
https://pres-outlook.org/2022/07/do-i...
June 4, 2022
“ I really don’t care if you stay Christian.”
McLaren concludes his book with this assertion and adds that the key question each human faces is not “ Should I be a Christian?” but rather “What kind of human do I want to become?” This book is divided into 3 parts. “Part one: No” details reasons for leaving Christianity altogether, including chapters on colonialism, white patriarchy, toxic theology, lack of transformation and constricted intellectualism. “Part 2: Yes” explores support for staying, including the topics of where to go ( all groups have problems), Jesus’ extraordinary life, and the fact that Christianity is still in its infancy. “Part 3: How” imagines a way forward for humanity, whether that future includes Christianity or not.
As always, McLaren’s writing offers reasoned, thoughtful support for struggling and frustrated Christians, among whom I consider myself to be one. This book will take me another reading and lots of discussion to digest, not because it is difficult to read ( it is not), but because some of the information is so new to me. For example, in the chapter on toxic theology, he details how Christianity has been based on a model of the universe where “worldly things”are allowed to change and evolve, but “ eternal things” are considered perfect and cannot change. He challenges this assumption and offers a gentle introduction to what I believe is “process theology” and asks” why can’t we Christians admit that we, like everything else in the universe are in process and that our religion, like all religions, is actually an event, constantly, unavoidably changing, for better or worse?”
More insightful info includes his list of biases all humans struggle with, found in the chapter on “Constricted Intellectualism” and the concept of “innocence addiction “(we want a victim to defend and a evil villain to oppose in order to feel both superior and innocent), which he offers as a partial explanation for the pro-life movement. And his chapter on Fermi’s Paradox ( if the universe is as old as it appears, why haven’t we been visited by alien life forms?) suggests that a new Christianity could be instrumental in preventing humanity from destroying itself.
McLaren writes with gentle humility and graciousness, gradually pulling the reader towards seeing a new vision of Christianity which offers hope for our planet and for humanity as well.
McLaren concludes his book with this assertion and adds that the key question each human faces is not “ Should I be a Christian?” but rather “What kind of human do I want to become?” This book is divided into 3 parts. “Part one: No” details reasons for leaving Christianity altogether, including chapters on colonialism, white patriarchy, toxic theology, lack of transformation and constricted intellectualism. “Part 2: Yes” explores support for staying, including the topics of where to go ( all groups have problems), Jesus’ extraordinary life, and the fact that Christianity is still in its infancy. “Part 3: How” imagines a way forward for humanity, whether that future includes Christianity or not.
As always, McLaren’s writing offers reasoned, thoughtful support for struggling and frustrated Christians, among whom I consider myself to be one. This book will take me another reading and lots of discussion to digest, not because it is difficult to read ( it is not), but because some of the information is so new to me. For example, in the chapter on toxic theology, he details how Christianity has been based on a model of the universe where “worldly things”are allowed to change and evolve, but “ eternal things” are considered perfect and cannot change. He challenges this assumption and offers a gentle introduction to what I believe is “process theology” and asks” why can’t we Christians admit that we, like everything else in the universe are in process and that our religion, like all religions, is actually an event, constantly, unavoidably changing, for better or worse?”
More insightful info includes his list of biases all humans struggle with, found in the chapter on “Constricted Intellectualism” and the concept of “innocence addiction “(we want a victim to defend and a evil villain to oppose in order to feel both superior and innocent), which he offers as a partial explanation for the pro-life movement. And his chapter on Fermi’s Paradox ( if the universe is as old as it appears, why haven’t we been visited by alien life forms?) suggests that a new Christianity could be instrumental in preventing humanity from destroying itself.
McLaren writes with gentle humility and graciousness, gradually pulling the reader towards seeing a new vision of Christianity which offers hope for our planet and for humanity as well.
September 22, 2023
McLaren is one of the important gurus in my life. This follows on closely from his previous book, Faith after Doubt, which I reviewed last year. You might think that the title question is only rhetorical and the answer is a firmly implied Yes. But what’s refreshing is that the author genuinely does not have a secret agenda. He doesn’t mind whether you continue to consider yourself Christian or not; what he does care about is inviting people into a spiritual life that includes working towards a regenerative future, the only way the human race is going to survive. And he believes that people of all faiths and none can be a part of that.
But first to address the central question: Part One is No and Part Two is Yes; each is allotted 10 chapters and roughly the same number of pages. McLaren has absolute sympathy with those who decide that they cannot in good conscience call themselves Christians. He’s not coming up with easily refuted objections, straw men, but honestly facing huge and ongoing problems like patriarchal and colonial attitudes, the condoning of violence, intellectual stagnation, ageing congregations, and corruption. From his vantage point as a former pastor, he acknowledges that today’s churches, especially of the American megachurch variety, feature significant conflicts of interest around money. He knows that Christians can be politically and morally repugnant and can oppose the very changes the world needs.
And yet. He believes Christianity can still be a force for good, and it would be a shame to give up on the wealth of its (comparatively short) history and the paragon that is Jesus (whom he provocatively describes as “an indigenous man who prepared for his public ministry with a forty-day vision quest”). The arguments in this section are more emotional, whereas in the previous section they were matter-of-fact. However, McLaren poses a middle option between leaving the religion dramatically and remaining meekly; he calls it “staying defiantly.” My husband and I read this as a buddy read, and that will be an important concept for us: how can we challenge the status quo of our church, our denomination, this too often staid faith?
Part Three, “How,” offers ideas for how to build a resilient faith that prioritizes harmony with the environment and with others while sidelining economic concerns. He may not believe in literal hell, but he’s as end-times-oriented as any fire-and-brimstone preacher when he insists, “we have to prepare ourselves to live good lives of defiant joy in the midst of chaos and suffering. This can be done. It has been done by billions of our ancestors and neighbours.” He ends with a supremely practical piece of advice: ask yourself “whether your current context will allow the highest and best use of your gifts and time.” Lucid and well argued, this is a book I’d recommend to anyone questioning the value of Christianity.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
But first to address the central question: Part One is No and Part Two is Yes; each is allotted 10 chapters and roughly the same number of pages. McLaren has absolute sympathy with those who decide that they cannot in good conscience call themselves Christians. He’s not coming up with easily refuted objections, straw men, but honestly facing huge and ongoing problems like patriarchal and colonial attitudes, the condoning of violence, intellectual stagnation, ageing congregations, and corruption. From his vantage point as a former pastor, he acknowledges that today’s churches, especially of the American megachurch variety, feature significant conflicts of interest around money. He knows that Christians can be politically and morally repugnant and can oppose the very changes the world needs.
And yet. He believes Christianity can still be a force for good, and it would be a shame to give up on the wealth of its (comparatively short) history and the paragon that is Jesus (whom he provocatively describes as “an indigenous man who prepared for his public ministry with a forty-day vision quest”). The arguments in this section are more emotional, whereas in the previous section they were matter-of-fact. However, McLaren poses a middle option between leaving the religion dramatically and remaining meekly; he calls it “staying defiantly.” My husband and I read this as a buddy read, and that will be an important concept for us: how can we challenge the status quo of our church, our denomination, this too often staid faith?
Part Three, “How,” offers ideas for how to build a resilient faith that prioritizes harmony with the environment and with others while sidelining economic concerns. He may not believe in literal hell, but he’s as end-times-oriented as any fire-and-brimstone preacher when he insists, “we have to prepare ourselves to live good lives of defiant joy in the midst of chaos and suffering. This can be done. It has been done by billions of our ancestors and neighbours.” He ends with a supremely practical piece of advice: ask yourself “whether your current context will allow the highest and best use of your gifts and time.” Lucid and well argued, this is a book I’d recommend to anyone questioning the value of Christianity.
Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.
November 29, 2022
There are handful of reasons why I disagree with this book and should be be called How Not to be a Christian.
The book is laid in several parts and the first part was Donald Trump! Yes Donald Trump has ruined Christianity. And if you are not a Christian because of Donald Trump, I hate to break it to you, Donald Trump is not responsible for your Christianity. The gospel of Christ is an equalizer. Everyone needs the gospel for salvation. Gospel means good news. The Good news of salvation. Black, white, yellow, poor, rich, criminal, saint, young, old, etc. Christianity is not white supremacy but the equalizer that we all will stand before God who has holds all authority. He has made a way thru Jesus Christ to be saved from sin. Acknowledging our sin is big part of Christianity. Sin separates us from God the father. All sin is against God and we suffer the consequences. We will not know peace until we know God. Religions, kingdoms, the elite, will not have peace until Christ comes back.
Crazy that a book on Christianity hardly had any scripture to back up McLaren's BS. He referenced some scripture (did not quote but paraphrased) but did not lay out his arguments against scripture and the gospel.
No reference to the trinity Not. One. He speaks of Jesus as a man not as the God man. Not sure how he can reconcile Jesus of Revelation.
Beware of the wolf in sheep clothing. He tickles the ear and will lead many against the truth. Progressive Christianity is funny to me because it indicates that it is always changing. God in essence is truth. TRUTH DOES NOT CHANGE.
A special thank you to St. Martins Press and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
The book is laid in several parts and the first part was Donald Trump! Yes Donald Trump has ruined Christianity. And if you are not a Christian because of Donald Trump, I hate to break it to you, Donald Trump is not responsible for your Christianity. The gospel of Christ is an equalizer. Everyone needs the gospel for salvation. Gospel means good news. The Good news of salvation. Black, white, yellow, poor, rich, criminal, saint, young, old, etc. Christianity is not white supremacy but the equalizer that we all will stand before God who has holds all authority. He has made a way thru Jesus Christ to be saved from sin. Acknowledging our sin is big part of Christianity. Sin separates us from God the father. All sin is against God and we suffer the consequences. We will not know peace until we know God. Religions, kingdoms, the elite, will not have peace until Christ comes back.
Crazy that a book on Christianity hardly had any scripture to back up McLaren's BS. He referenced some scripture (did not quote but paraphrased) but did not lay out his arguments against scripture and the gospel.
No reference to the trinity Not. One. He speaks of Jesus as a man not as the God man. Not sure how he can reconcile Jesus of Revelation.
Beware of the wolf in sheep clothing. He tickles the ear and will lead many against the truth. Progressive Christianity is funny to me because it indicates that it is always changing. God in essence is truth. TRUTH DOES NOT CHANGE.
A special thank you to St. Martins Press and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.
April 23, 2024
At the core of this book is a powerful idea: What kind of life you live is more important than what labels you give yourself.
To those of us who’ve chosen the Christian faith, this book is a challenge to live the ideals of that faith out, and to fight back against the misogyny, homophobia and general toxicity that can be all too prevalent in churches.
To those who have chosen to leave the church, it’s a challenge to live lives of love, and not to jump from arrogant Christian fundamentalism straight into arrogant atheist fundamentalism.
To both groups, it’s a challenge to keep an open heart and mind, and be comfortable with the uncomfortable fact that your beliefs and identity will probably change and evolve throughout your lifetime.
I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who is in the process of deconstructing, disentangling or reconstructing their faith.
To those of us who’ve chosen the Christian faith, this book is a challenge to live the ideals of that faith out, and to fight back against the misogyny, homophobia and general toxicity that can be all too prevalent in churches.
To those who have chosen to leave the church, it’s a challenge to live lives of love, and not to jump from arrogant Christian fundamentalism straight into arrogant atheist fundamentalism.
To both groups, it’s a challenge to keep an open heart and mind, and be comfortable with the uncomfortable fact that your beliefs and identity will probably change and evolve throughout your lifetime.
I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone who is in the process of deconstructing, disentangling or reconstructing their faith.
October 20, 2022
The church I attend did a study and sermon series on this book so I thought I should read it.
I should probably preface this review by saying I am not sure what my emotional and spiritual status would be if I had not retired in 2014 and been working only part time as a visitation pastor during Trump and COVID.
that said, I felt uncomfortable with this book almost from the start. The first section, which purports to give reasons to leave Christianity, basically lists every horrible thing humans have done for 2000 years and lays responsibility for them all at the feet of the church. The problem I had is that i have read history before Christianity. We have always been awful and much of the worst awfulness jn Chrisi8tan times wasn't Christian (Genghis Khan, Hitler, Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot etc.)I see Christianity as a civilizing/humanizing force that sometimes but not always succeeds. Before you say religion is the cause of all evil you need to find some good pagans. Good luck. I found myself substituting "Having sex:" for "Remaining Christian." Sex can certainly be misused and cause much harm but we probably won't be better off as a species if we stop having it.
The arguments in the second section on staying Christian were more where I am but I still didn't feel comfortable. Gradually, I came to feel like McLaren has left beh9ind the opinionated, divisive judgmental conservative Christianity of his younger self and substituted an opinionated, divisive and judgmental Progressive Christianity in its place. He sees little value and makes no compromises with conservative believers. He calls them dehumanizing epithets (Company men, Trumpists) accuses them of horrific crimes (pedophilia, genocide, racism, etc) and basically says "Christian: is "Christian his way" without noticing this attitude is behind most of the bad marks in our history.
Some will probably enjoy this book, especially if they are leaving the church, because he will make them feel noble for their choice. I am not leaving and thought it worse than a waste of time.
I should probably preface this review by saying I am not sure what my emotional and spiritual status would be if I had not retired in 2014 and been working only part time as a visitation pastor during Trump and COVID.
that said, I felt uncomfortable with this book almost from the start. The first section, which purports to give reasons to leave Christianity, basically lists every horrible thing humans have done for 2000 years and lays responsibility for them all at the feet of the church. The problem I had is that i have read history before Christianity. We have always been awful and much of the worst awfulness jn Chrisi8tan times wasn't Christian (Genghis Khan, Hitler, Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot etc.)I see Christianity as a civilizing/humanizing force that sometimes but not always succeeds. Before you say religion is the cause of all evil you need to find some good pagans. Good luck. I found myself substituting "Having sex:" for "Remaining Christian." Sex can certainly be misused and cause much harm but we probably won't be better off as a species if we stop having it.
The arguments in the second section on staying Christian were more where I am but I still didn't feel comfortable. Gradually, I came to feel like McLaren has left beh9ind the opinionated, divisive judgmental conservative Christianity of his younger self and substituted an opinionated, divisive and judgmental Progressive Christianity in its place. He sees little value and makes no compromises with conservative believers. He calls them dehumanizing epithets (Company men, Trumpists) accuses them of horrific crimes (pedophilia, genocide, racism, etc) and basically says "Christian: is "Christian his way" without noticing this attitude is behind most of the bad marks in our history.
Some will probably enjoy this book, especially if they are leaving the church, because he will make them feel noble for their choice. I am not leaving and thought it worse than a waste of time.
January 4, 2025
wow wow wow wow, this book. 😭
i’m tempted to say it might have just saved my faith in christianity? but that seems dramatic… BUT ALSO, i have never encountered a more thorough, compelling, holistic exploration of BOTH the reasons to leave AND to stay.
the absolute humility, honesty, breadth, and depth with which @brian_mclaren writes had me highlighting like heck, tearing up more times than i can count, feeling so seen and heard and understood in the mess that is deconstructing and renovating and wrestling with my christian faith.
this book doesn’t shy away from the really ugly, toxic, harmful parts of christianity (which i deeply appreciate, as we need to reckon with and reconcile so much) yet also shows new ways forward that i needed to be reminded were possible.
so glad i took my time with this one over the last six months. so glad it exists. wish i could make it required reading for all pastors and churches and christians.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, without a doubt.
i’m tempted to say it might have just saved my faith in christianity? but that seems dramatic… BUT ALSO, i have never encountered a more thorough, compelling, holistic exploration of BOTH the reasons to leave AND to stay.
the absolute humility, honesty, breadth, and depth with which @brian_mclaren writes had me highlighting like heck, tearing up more times than i can count, feeling so seen and heard and understood in the mess that is deconstructing and renovating and wrestling with my christian faith.
this book doesn’t shy away from the really ugly, toxic, harmful parts of christianity (which i deeply appreciate, as we need to reckon with and reconcile so much) yet also shows new ways forward that i needed to be reminded were possible.
so glad i took my time with this one over the last six months. so glad it exists. wish i could make it required reading for all pastors and churches and christians.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️, without a doubt.
June 20, 2022
Thank you St Martin's for the ARC to read and review.
Brian McLaren tackles from two points of view, the reasons to leave Christianity or to stay,
This book is written for people of the Christian faith who struggle with social and political issues of modernity.
He sites the corporate nature of the historical church, bringing questions about patriarchal structures that limit the rights of marginalized communities. He brings to light the failings of the historical church's violent past and love of money and antisemitic positions.
But he doesn't stop at the failings of the church. He gives strategies and methods to reform and break the church free from the chains that keep it from moving forward and renewing.
Brian McLaren tackles from two points of view, the reasons to leave Christianity or to stay,
This book is written for people of the Christian faith who struggle with social and political issues of modernity.
He sites the corporate nature of the historical church, bringing questions about patriarchal structures that limit the rights of marginalized communities. He brings to light the failings of the historical church's violent past and love of money and antisemitic positions.
But he doesn't stop at the failings of the church. He gives strategies and methods to reform and break the church free from the chains that keep it from moving forward and renewing.
May 30, 2022
I would not be religious as an adult if I hadn't read Brian McLaren growing up. I often joke that he's a great gateway drug to progressive/emergent/adaptive Christianity, but that's a very flippant statement and his work is super important. His writing is very accessible and easy to understand.
This new book is wonderful. He has a gift for explaining complicated things in really succinct ways. Points that would take me an hour to talk about take him 1-3 pages.
I really appreciate his vulnerability. He includes himself in his criticisms and acknowledges his own faults and compromises. He doesn't just talk about other people who conform to patriarchal, racist Christianity, but also talks about times when he's conformed to it himself, like as a parent when he adopted the outlandish authoritarian parenting styles promoted among conservative circles, and his failure to respond lovingly the first time someone came out to him.
Personally I was much more interested in the first 2 parts, where he discusses specific reasons for and against the titular rhetorical question. I was excited by a reading of the Legion demoniac story I hadn't considered before.
Part 3, which consisted of action steps for moving forward, wasn't as useful for me because I'm pretty deeply enmeshed in the atmosphere this book is coming from. But it's all really important, and if you haven't been exposed to them before- like the importance of experiencing the sacred (or an equivalent secular concept) through nature and your body and being more dedicated to reality than our transitory interpretations of reality bounded by language- then they are vital to read.
This new book is wonderful. He has a gift for explaining complicated things in really succinct ways. Points that would take me an hour to talk about take him 1-3 pages.
I really appreciate his vulnerability. He includes himself in his criticisms and acknowledges his own faults and compromises. He doesn't just talk about other people who conform to patriarchal, racist Christianity, but also talks about times when he's conformed to it himself, like as a parent when he adopted the outlandish authoritarian parenting styles promoted among conservative circles, and his failure to respond lovingly the first time someone came out to him.
Personally I was much more interested in the first 2 parts, where he discusses specific reasons for and against the titular rhetorical question. I was excited by a reading of the Legion demoniac story I hadn't considered before.
Part 3, which consisted of action steps for moving forward, wasn't as useful for me because I'm pretty deeply enmeshed in the atmosphere this book is coming from. But it's all really important, and if you haven't been exposed to them before- like the importance of experiencing the sacred (or an equivalent secular concept) through nature and your body and being more dedicated to reality than our transitory interpretations of reality bounded by language- then they are vital to read.
December 5, 2022
As a mormon, I grew up feeling very separate from the rest of Christianity. I mean, Mormon's do like to tell people we ARE Christian but we also believe we are the only church on earth with the fullness of the Gospel of Christ. With such a divisive stance, who can really blame other Christians for not wanting to claim us? We, after all, rejected them first. By the way, it must be said that I am using we and us loosely. I do still consider myself Mormon but I am not really a believing Mormon...which brings me to why I loved this book.
It was healing to put myself in the context of a shared Christian history, even though that history is messy, and often times horrifying. I have been so caught up in Mormonism's complicated and often upsetting history, that it felt liberating to realize that a) Mormonism did not spring out of thin air; it is an offshoot of a long Christian tradition and b) Mormonism isn't the only religion with baggage and doubters who are desperately trying to find a way to stay.
I loved what the author said about the false dichotomy of choosing between defiantly leaving, or compliantly staying. You can defiantly stay! I also appreciated that McLaren added that you can (and should) be gracious and kind while being defiant within your religious tradition. I loved how he said that some traditionalists think that doubters like me "won't" believe but the truth is we "can't" believe.
I would recommend this book for anyone doubting within their religious tradition. However, it lost a star for me because despite his promise that he wouldn't try to convince you either way, the last third is him trying to convince you to follow his brand of enlightened living (which you can do from within or without Christianity, so he did keep that promise). While his ideas for a way forward had merit, I thought he came on a little too strong, especially in a book where he promised to let you reach your own conclusions.
All in all, this book helped me find justifications to stay in my current religion despite and even because of my misgivings and he helped me to better understand why I feel so confident about the ways I am chosing to be defiant within that tradition.
It was healing to put myself in the context of a shared Christian history, even though that history is messy, and often times horrifying. I have been so caught up in Mormonism's complicated and often upsetting history, that it felt liberating to realize that a) Mormonism did not spring out of thin air; it is an offshoot of a long Christian tradition and b) Mormonism isn't the only religion with baggage and doubters who are desperately trying to find a way to stay.
I loved what the author said about the false dichotomy of choosing between defiantly leaving, or compliantly staying. You can defiantly stay! I also appreciated that McLaren added that you can (and should) be gracious and kind while being defiant within your religious tradition. I loved how he said that some traditionalists think that doubters like me "won't" believe but the truth is we "can't" believe.
I would recommend this book for anyone doubting within their religious tradition. However, it lost a star for me because despite his promise that he wouldn't try to convince you either way, the last third is him trying to convince you to follow his brand of enlightened living (which you can do from within or without Christianity, so he did keep that promise). While his ideas for a way forward had merit, I thought he came on a little too strong, especially in a book where he promised to let you reach your own conclusions.
All in all, this book helped me find justifications to stay in my current religion despite and even because of my misgivings and he helped me to better understand why I feel so confident about the ways I am chosing to be defiant within that tradition.
July 26, 2023
Insgesamt fand ich das Buch sehr spannend. Es ist mit Brian McLaren eine progressive Stimme, die versucht, die Schattenseiten eines recht traditionellen oder fundamentalistischen Christentums zu überwinden. Im Buch selbst finden sich viele Gespräche und Erfahrungsberichte von Brian. Als Zielgruppe vermute ich stark Post- und/oder Exevangelicals.
In drei Teile gliedert sich das Buch. Teil 1 „No“ behandelt Gründe, warum es sich lohnt, dass Christsein aufzuheben. Teil 2 „Yes“ behandelt Gründe, warum es sich lohnt dran zu bleiben und in Teil 3 „How“ geht es dann darum, wie man im christlichen Glauben verwurzelt bleiben kann.
Ich kann mir sehr gut vorstellen, dass viele sehr mit den Stories relaten können. Ich persönlich fand dadurch das Buch an einigen Stellen eher langatmig und hätte mir mehr inhaltlich-theoretische Ausführungen gewünscht. Die kamen fast gar nicht vor. Deshalb gebe ich 3,5 Sterne.
In drei Teile gliedert sich das Buch. Teil 1 „No“ behandelt Gründe, warum es sich lohnt, dass Christsein aufzuheben. Teil 2 „Yes“ behandelt Gründe, warum es sich lohnt dran zu bleiben und in Teil 3 „How“ geht es dann darum, wie man im christlichen Glauben verwurzelt bleiben kann.
Ich kann mir sehr gut vorstellen, dass viele sehr mit den Stories relaten können. Ich persönlich fand dadurch das Buch an einigen Stellen eher langatmig und hätte mir mehr inhaltlich-theoretische Ausführungen gewünscht. Die kamen fast gar nicht vor. Deshalb gebe ich 3,5 Sterne.
dnf
April 3, 2022I won’t be rating. DNF. Didn’t like or agree with at all. I will say it was supposed to be a Christian book to help with being a better Christian, but it didn’t seem that way at all. That’s all. I will end it there. Please no bad comments. I’m just giving my honest thoughts and opinions.
January 20, 2023
This book started out fine. Even thought-provoking. But what I have learned about the author is he never stops talking. As the book dredged on the chapters were overly long and entirely too wordy. He lost me even though this is something that I was really wanting to hear the pros and cons of. In the end, I guess I’m just not ecumenical enough for this book to really speak to my heart, and the struggles I go through with spirituality. Wouldn’t recommend.
July 10, 2024
I found McLaren’s book to be a breath of fresh air for troubling times within the American Church. This book is cerebral and thought-provoking, inviting the reader to evaluate their faith and how it fits into an American Church that has enmeshed itself into political power brokering, Christian Nationalism, and cultural wars. McLaren is brutally honest about the harm that Christianity has and is causing in the world, but also paints a hopeful picture of what Christianity can become for those who stay in the faith and consider a different path forward. I would especially recommend this book for Christians who love Jesus and their community of believers, but question their place in the dysfunction of the American Church.
September 16, 2024
This book has a lot of good insights, and I especially appreciate the thought that all religions and organizations have issues. 😆 That being said, it was a slog. I felt like every chapter was 30% too long. I listened to the faith matters podcast with him and found it insightful and succinct, so I'll probably be sticking to podcasts instead of his books from now on.
January 25, 2023
Although there were a few parts I glossed over, I love the way he laid it out, love the permission given, and loved the arguments he maid along the way. So glad I read it.
September 30, 2024
More political than spiritual.
The book would be more accurately titled "Should a liberal remain Christian?"
The non-bias approach to determining wheter to remain Christian is what led me to this book. Unfortunately i ran smack into overwhelming bias in the form of dozens of overt political statements within just a few chapters, some of which aged like milk (i.e. referring to not getting the covid vaccine as a sin or referencing the debunked story of trump separating migrant children from their parents).
The problem isn't that the author is liberal or woke, i would have been just as disappointed to hear a bunch of far right political beliefs inserted into the pages, the problem is that the political bias distracts the reader from the topic as stated in the books title.
The book would be more accurately titled "Should a liberal remain Christian?"
The non-bias approach to determining wheter to remain Christian is what led me to this book. Unfortunately i ran smack into overwhelming bias in the form of dozens of overt political statements within just a few chapters, some of which aged like milk (i.e. referring to not getting the covid vaccine as a sin or referencing the debunked story of trump separating migrant children from their parents).
The problem isn't that the author is liberal or woke, i would have been just as disappointed to hear a bunch of far right political beliefs inserted into the pages, the problem is that the political bias distracts the reader from the topic as stated in the books title.
May 6, 2023
An effective and important diagnosis and examination of the historical and present harm that Christianity has inflicted. The author gave words to the feelings of disgust and disillusionment I’ve felt towards modern manifestations of Christianity that perpetuate patriarchy, White Supremacy, abuse of power, nationalism, disregard for environment, and oppression of the LGBTQIA+ community, among other things. These abuses must be named, renounced and rejected.
October 1, 2022
This book sounded appealing but became predictable, tedious and I could barely finish reading. Like a sermon that had gone on too long.
October 27, 2022
I am not truly considering leaving Christianity, but I suspected McLaren would be able to help me put into words many of the feelings I've been wrestling with over the last few years. I was right. McLaren was raised in a very conservative strain of Christianity and spent several years as a pastor. He knows intimately both the good and the bad of organized religion. It was so helpful to feel seen and understood.
This book has three parts: the first, reasons to leave Christianity; the second, reasons to stay; and the third, ideas for moving forward whichever path you choose. My favorite was the third section--he has such a way of seeing through the noise to the most important truths of life.
My only hesitation in giving a full hearted recommendation was that he uses some modern political examples to demonstrate his points. I happen to agree with him, but I do think it would be hard for those who disagree with the politics to see his larger points, and that makes it less compelling. At the same time, an unwillingness to address modern issues would have made it less impactful for me, so I see why he does it.
Overall my favorite recent religious read.
This book has three parts: the first, reasons to leave Christianity; the second, reasons to stay; and the third, ideas for moving forward whichever path you choose. My favorite was the third section--he has such a way of seeing through the noise to the most important truths of life.
My only hesitation in giving a full hearted recommendation was that he uses some modern political examples to demonstrate his points. I happen to agree with him, but I do think it would be hard for those who disagree with the politics to see his larger points, and that makes it less compelling. At the same time, an unwillingness to address modern issues would have made it less impactful for me, so I see why he does it.
Overall my favorite recent religious read.
April 16, 2023
I loved this book! I have been wrestling through this question myself. I appreciate that Brian left the answer up to us and didn't judge us either way, but encouraged us to love our fellow humans as the wonderful creations they are!
I am blessed that I found authors like Brian who have helped me to stay Christian without compromising the vast evolution that my faith has undergone in the past few years.
10/10 recommend this book to anyone who is ready to wrestle with the good, bad, and the ugly of Christianity in North America, and work towards a better faith community (if you stay) and a better world (if you stay or go)
I am blessed that I found authors like Brian who have helped me to stay Christian without compromising the vast evolution that my faith has undergone in the past few years.
10/10 recommend this book to anyone who is ready to wrestle with the good, bad, and the ugly of Christianity in North America, and work towards a better faith community (if you stay) and a better world (if you stay or go)
February 7, 2023
Lots to chew on in this book. Would make a good discussion book with a faith group. I liked the set up of sections - section 1 breaks down reasons to answer no, section 2 breaks down reasons to answer yes, and section 3 is focused on “how” to move forward. Many of the items in the no section are issues/concerns I have personally wrestled with.
March 26, 2024
Loved the layout of this book and his anti-apologetic framing. I think it shows exactly the posture he takes throughout the writing. He doesn’t care so much about what the reader decides as to their religious affiliation, but instead cares far more about the person and his/her wholeness. Therefore, he gives great points of why one should stay Christian, and also great points on why one shouldn’t. The book is ultimately a resource, not a persuasive essay, which is can deeply appreciate.
August 17, 2022
As usual, this author helps me to explore the hard questions in a way that honors my authentic self. Will probably read it again.
April 27, 2024
Super interesting book that offers quite the paradigm shift. There is a lot in here, for both Christians and non Christians, and it will leave you thinking long after finishing the book. Overall, love the challenges it issues which I would summarize as seeing Christianity as something that evolves along with our understanding of ourselves and the world. Only loses a star (and really just half a star if that was an option) because I felt like I wanted it to be longer since each chapter felt like it led to a hundred different implications that could be explored much further.
July 11, 2022
I’ll admit it. I was hesitant to even post this book on Goodreads because it kind of breaks my heart that I was even attracted to the title. I’m glad I read it. It is a balanced and thoughtful analysis of Christ, organized Christianity, and spiritual opportunities. The target audiences are, as described, the doubters, disillusioned, and disappointed. The book has three sections: No, Yes, How.
The No section is powerful and painful to read for many whose lives have been rooted in the traditional church. Yet it clearly lays out the reasons they may be disillusioned and disappointed.
The Yes section offers insight on reasons to remain within the framework of the organized church, despite the disappointment.
It’s not a hard sell either way. The author clearly respects the different positions in which readers may find themselves in their faith journeys.
The How section concludes to encourage readers to find how they can best be a caring human who shares love as commanded by Christ and described in Micah 6:8, with kindness, justice, and humility. He offers advice on how to stay and work towards the changes you wish to see, or how to move on productively to find a spiritual community that helps you live your faith more effectively.
The No section is powerful and painful to read for many whose lives have been rooted in the traditional church. Yet it clearly lays out the reasons they may be disillusioned and disappointed.
The Yes section offers insight on reasons to remain within the framework of the organized church, despite the disappointment.
It’s not a hard sell either way. The author clearly respects the different positions in which readers may find themselves in their faith journeys.
The How section concludes to encourage readers to find how they can best be a caring human who shares love as commanded by Christ and described in Micah 6:8, with kindness, justice, and humility. He offers advice on how to stay and work towards the changes you wish to see, or how to move on productively to find a spiritual community that helps you live your faith more effectively.
October 10, 2022
McLaren ends this book with what is possibly the most loving phrase any pastor could ever say: "I really don't care if you stay Christian." Acknowledging the deep harm and abuse the church has perpetuated, he sees no reason to shame or scare people into remaining in environments which have become, or have even always been toxic to them. That said, he is also even-handed in his acknowledgement that the church has been healing and redemptive for many others. Thus, the question he is ultimately concerned with has less to do with what people intellectually subscribe to, and more with what kind of person they become. Arguing from what seems to be a postmodern form of virtue ethics, this idea is flushed out as follows:
1) We are all inevitably formed by our contexts, and truth is therefore relative.
2) Choosing an environment which will form us into healthy, loving people is consequently of the upmost importance.
3) Because this sort of environment is different for everyone, we should not insist that others follow our way of life in spite of evidence that it is ineffectual or even traumatic for them. Further, we should not attempt to force ourselves into such an environment either.
1) We are all inevitably formed by our contexts, and truth is therefore relative.
2) Choosing an environment which will form us into healthy, loving people is consequently of the upmost importance.
3) Because this sort of environment is different for everyone, we should not insist that others follow our way of life in spite of evidence that it is ineffectual or even traumatic for them. Further, we should not attempt to force ourselves into such an environment either.
January 20, 2024
I go through predictable stages with all of Brian McLaren's books.
1. Wariness. "This looks interesting but his last book frustrated me as much as it helped me. Do I really want to read it?"
2. Illumination: "Wow, he's really naming so many aches I've been unable to even articulate to myself."
3. Excitement: "I'm so inspired and really feel like this book is changing me for the better."
4. Boredom: "Wait, suddenly I hardly want to pick up this book anymore because all of his prose leaves me cold. What is he even saying? Why can't he make some practical suggestions?"
5. Frustration/Alienation: "All of his practical suggestions are things I suck at (ie, be a gregarious people person who finds it easy to connect and build movements not based on individuals but groups). How in the hell do I translate my initial excitement into actual change that doesn't make me feel even more lonely and out-of-step with fellow Christians than I already do?"
Normally, I end the book with such mixed reactions that I cycle back to wariness EVERY TIME.
This time, I think I finally understand my struggle better and felt much less frustration.
The good: McLaren's gift is naming the problems Christianity faces with candor, bravery, grace and clarity. He doesn't demonize. But he doesn't whitewash either. I feel much better about my choice to stay Christian even as I grieve all the good reasons not to be one. I don't want to be comforted that Christianity is just fine. I do want to understand how to be clear-eyed about staying with integrity and in order to love others (and myself) well. He is tremendously good at helping me get there.
The problematic (for me): McLaren is a Big Thinker. Especially in part 2 and 3, his prose is at a 30,000 foot level, a style which just leaves me cold. (I dislike the gospel of John for the same reason). People who LIKE grand statements and visions of our collective future: this book is for you. For those of us who need things more human shaped and sized...you might get bored. Just skim until something not in Capital Letters grabs your attention again.
Likewise: For some people McLaren's book will offer practical help. This time, knowing about my neurodivergence and social anxiety, I -knew- that most of his suggestions will simply not work for me. That cut through a lot of my frustration and angst reading it.
And neither of these problems are critiques, really, of McLaren or his writing. It's just recognizing what parts of his gifts reach me well, and which ones don't.
All that said: he is asking urgent questions at a time where our country and world are so troubling I have needed to talk to my therapist about them. McLaren's book helped me understand how to be a faithful Christ follower -now-.
I am so so grateful I've read it for this moment in time.
1. Wariness. "This looks interesting but his last book frustrated me as much as it helped me. Do I really want to read it?"
2. Illumination: "Wow, he's really naming so many aches I've been unable to even articulate to myself."
3. Excitement: "I'm so inspired and really feel like this book is changing me for the better."
4. Boredom: "Wait, suddenly I hardly want to pick up this book anymore because all of his prose leaves me cold. What is he even saying? Why can't he make some practical suggestions?"
5. Frustration/Alienation: "All of his practical suggestions are things I suck at (ie, be a gregarious people person who finds it easy to connect and build movements not based on individuals but groups). How in the hell do I translate my initial excitement into actual change that doesn't make me feel even more lonely and out-of-step with fellow Christians than I already do?"
Normally, I end the book with such mixed reactions that I cycle back to wariness EVERY TIME.
This time, I think I finally understand my struggle better and felt much less frustration.
The good: McLaren's gift is naming the problems Christianity faces with candor, bravery, grace and clarity. He doesn't demonize. But he doesn't whitewash either. I feel much better about my choice to stay Christian even as I grieve all the good reasons not to be one. I don't want to be comforted that Christianity is just fine. I do want to understand how to be clear-eyed about staying with integrity and in order to love others (and myself) well. He is tremendously good at helping me get there.
The problematic (for me): McLaren is a Big Thinker. Especially in part 2 and 3, his prose is at a 30,000 foot level, a style which just leaves me cold. (I dislike the gospel of John for the same reason). People who LIKE grand statements and visions of our collective future: this book is for you. For those of us who need things more human shaped and sized...you might get bored. Just skim until something not in Capital Letters grabs your attention again.
Likewise: For some people McLaren's book will offer practical help. This time, knowing about my neurodivergence and social anxiety, I -knew- that most of his suggestions will simply not work for me. That cut through a lot of my frustration and angst reading it.
And neither of these problems are critiques, really, of McLaren or his writing. It's just recognizing what parts of his gifts reach me well, and which ones don't.
All that said: he is asking urgent questions at a time where our country and world are so troubling I have needed to talk to my therapist about them. McLaren's book helped me understand how to be a faithful Christ follower -now-.
I am so so grateful I've read it for this moment in time.
August 18, 2022
It’s pretty straightforward: ten chapters that answer the titular question “No,” followed by ten chapters that answer “Yes,” followed by eight chapters that answer “How?”, applicable to either way you answer. But the reasons McLaren give are insightful.
In Part 1 he really gets into the horrible depths of the sordid history of Christian anti-Semitism, heresy hunting, crusading and colonizing, money, white patriarchy, toxic theology, lack of transformed lives, and intellectual suicide. All great reasons to jump ship and swim as far from Christianity as possible.
Part 2 mostly deals with why staying on the ship, on the other hand, is the best hope for changing Christianity’s wayward course. McLaren points out that there are many who are already trying their best to do this, and they need help. And, he points out, there are more options beyond just compliantly staying or defiantly leaving: one could also defiantly stay—and try to change things. Plus there’s the thought I also keep coming back to: Considering the enormous amount of time the human race has been around, Christianity is still just in its infancy. Perhaps most important: Jesus himself makes a good reason not to leave, since his own life and teachings make the best antidote to the dull and deadly ways of the institutional Church.
In Part 3 McLaren shares from a wealth of experiences and ideas about how exactly “Christendom” can grow into something more like the way of Jesus. He also shares how leaving the church, or belonging to other movements, is also a completely fair option, as long as one avoids returning to the same errors. After all, we’re only human. A gospel based on forgiveness seems to understand that.
In Part 1 he really gets into the horrible depths of the sordid history of Christian anti-Semitism, heresy hunting, crusading and colonizing, money, white patriarchy, toxic theology, lack of transformed lives, and intellectual suicide. All great reasons to jump ship and swim as far from Christianity as possible.
Part 2 mostly deals with why staying on the ship, on the other hand, is the best hope for changing Christianity’s wayward course. McLaren points out that there are many who are already trying their best to do this, and they need help. And, he points out, there are more options beyond just compliantly staying or defiantly leaving: one could also defiantly stay—and try to change things. Plus there’s the thought I also keep coming back to: Considering the enormous amount of time the human race has been around, Christianity is still just in its infancy. Perhaps most important: Jesus himself makes a good reason not to leave, since his own life and teachings make the best antidote to the dull and deadly ways of the institutional Church.
In Part 3 McLaren shares from a wealth of experiences and ideas about how exactly “Christendom” can grow into something more like the way of Jesus. He also shares how leaving the church, or belonging to other movements, is also a completely fair option, as long as one avoids returning to the same errors. After all, we’re only human. A gospel based on forgiveness seems to understand that.
February 23, 2023
I have tried and tried to like this author, but I am done. He claims to be presenting arguments for both sides of a question, but his arguments tend to be fallacious, circular, dualistic, reductionist, and filled with apologetics. There is an "aw, shucks," shifty character to his writing that likely lulls many readers into complacency, but his self interest is clearly that he makes his money selling books to present and former evangelicals. If he would present a convincing argument to step outside institutional Christianity, he would lose his audience. If he would be honest about all of this, I could tolerate him. Instead, he comes off like a cheap hustler.
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