Memento Mori: The Art of Contemplating Death to Live a Better Life

by Joanna Ebenstein

A transformative guide to embrace your own mortality and live a more fulfilling life

Talking about death has been deemed morbid, taboo, or even pathological. But in order to fully embrace life, scientists, psychologists, and spiritual leaders all agree—contemplating death is the key to living a life with meaning.

This life-changing book will give you a 12 week program to befriend death in your own way, creating your own personal, daily meditation on what it means to be mortal. Through personal anecdotes, historical examples, meditations, exercises, journal prompts, and reflections, you will learn to both come to terms with what death means and to live alongside it without fear. In doing so, you will see your own life in a new light and discover what makes life worth living. After all, there’s no better motivation to seize the day than a regular reminder that your days are numbered.

Whether you're struggling with anxiety, grieving a loved one, or seeking a greater sense of purpose, Memento Mori is an invaluable guide to living a life of greater meaning and joy.

Genres: Nonfiction, Death, Philosophy, Self Help, Mental Health, Grief, Science

303 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 10, 2024

Reviews

[emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not in the right headspace for this now, I thought I was, but meditations and reflections on death are apparently beyond me at the moment. I skimmed the anecdotes but thoroughly read all the suggested exercises, and I'm actually thinking of buying it so I can actually do the exercises as suggested. Just, maybe when it's been a little more time since I experienced a catastrophic loss of my own. 3 "right book, wrong time" stars.

[Lynda · Rating 5 out of 5]

The black cover of Memento Mori with its skull and fruits and veg give off dark magic vibes but this little book really focuses on understanding your personal legacy, life goals, and the joy and purpose found in life. Ebenstein has carefully researched end of life, dying, hospice, and death rituals from the ancient past to present time in many cultures. Any trepidation I felt before reading this work, was soothed and erased by the various methods presented of planning end of life services and ceremony but also really celebrating your life now and creating a passage that suits your individual philosophy and beliefs.

[Sertaç Must · Rating 5 out of 5]

A contemporary Gothic Bible!?!
This book could fall into that category unwillingly.

Good information on how death is perceived by different cultures over the thousands of years.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love a death positive book, and this gorgeous release from Joanna Ebenstein is an incredibly fascinating, enlightening, all-encompassing guide to embracing your mortality. It’s a perfect blend of personal and factual, and it even has a helpful exercise and planning section in the back. Thanks very much to TarcherPerigee for sending me an early copy!

[Mariah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading this during active grief made for interesting introspection. Think about the ways we think about death in America and our ancestral cultures. What are the differences and what resonates with you? This is all about removing the fear from the morbid topic. I enjoyed this book, but I felt there could have been more sociological perspectives of how others grieve and perceive death to be fully rounded. I also would like to see a distinction between cultures with closed practices and not.
This is a very Caitlin Doughty style of discussing death and I appreciate the narrative for that. There are journal and writing prompts offered after each chapter to challenge our expectations about death. I will be working on these prompts to expand on my own writing and thoughts on death. Like I mentioned, reading this through active grief is interesting and definitely shapes how you absorb the material.

For more recommendations, reviews, and impressions – visit my blog at http://brujerialibrary.wordpress.com

[Chris Boutté · Rating 5 out of 5]

Memento mori is an old saying that has us remember our mortality, and as I get older, I think about death quite a bit. I’m a former drug addict who worked in a rehab for a few years, so I’ve experienced a lot of death. I’m only 39 years old, but it’s regularly on my mind. Fortunately, it’s not in a bad way. Thinking about death really makes me grateful for how far I’ve come, the people I have in my life, and everything else life has to offer. This book really highlights all of that in a great way, and I think it can help a lot of people who struggle with the thought of death.

Joanna Ebenstein covers just about every angle of death. From dealing with our own mortality to the grieving process, making plans for our family once we pass and so much more. She also gives readers a lot of information about how various cultures around the world deal with death, and it’s super interesting because there are some great lessons we can take from others.

My only criticism of the book is a personal one that I don’t think many others will mind. I think the book on its own is pretty perfect, but at the end of each chapter, it’s very mainstream self-helpy in the fact that it gives you little activities to do to reflect on the lessons from the chapter. For me, it kind of messed up the flow of the book a little bit. Other than that, I absolutely loved it and hope a lot of people read it.

[Kirk · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to love this book. The good - well researched and solidly written, with early and finishing chapters full of useful contemplations, info, and questions. The meh - author seems (IMHO) more fascinated with death than by how knowing we’ll die can profoundly impact how we live. That’s the essential point or goal of the book but there’s so much meandering in the middle about what I viewed as fetishization of death. The fault could be all mine here as without my stoicism practice, where I was first introduced to the practice of Memento Mori, and without the Oliver Burkeman (LOVE HIS STUFF) endorsement, I probably wouldn’t have read this book.

[PATCHES · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an honor to get a chance to read this a little early.

This encompasses everything I personally needed: an exploration of religion and death, and some ways to journal my way through the thought process. Ebenstein truly gives you every tool and recourse you might need, and includes the ones you didn't even think of. Despite running a book club with the fulcrum being death, I'm petrified of it. This helped tremendously.

I will be revisiting this in the future to truly experience the 12 week program. I will be recommending this and possibly shouting about it from rooftops; to be decided.

Thanks Joanna and team!

[Rebeca F. · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a nice and interesting book, but I feel I'm not its target. I think it's better suited for people who have no knowledge of the subject as it's perfect for a first approach. It's quite interactive, which was odd for me as I'm lazy af and have spent too many decades thinking and writing about death already thus wasn´t too motivated to answer the questions (Really tried the first chapters) or do the creative exercises. So around chapter three I just went on reading and started skipping the interactive part at the end of each chapter.
It's still a lovely book, really well written and researched, perfect as an invitation to start thinking about death to live well.

[Richard · Rating 2 out of 5]

My rating is not about the purpose of the book or its relevance but my personal reaction. This is a self-help book on coping with the idea of death written for those who are obviously interested but not ready for it. I don’t share that attitude, so the approach here, of journal prompts and seminar-y chapters, dulled my interest from the get-go. A lot of people will no doubt get a lot from this book, but I have no interest in a 12-week course on this subject when my interest was more in reading a more thoughtful book than instructional. If you are of like mind, I highly recommend Caitlin Doughty.

[ツツ]

Skimmed. I didnt read this book as self-help. I enjoyed the cataloguing of beliefs and practices about and around death in different cultures and religions, and i enjoyed my own research triggered by it even more. Though the facts are accurate (often only the bare bones of those things), the frames and logic around it, and the conclusions drawn from it, are sometimes inaccurate and distorted by a modern post colonialism perspective. A bit ironic as this book strives to break out of the usual western narrative.

[Adam Shake · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book, I'm sure, is loved by a lot of people. That being said it wasn't for me. Not because it didn't go deep, but because it didn't go deep enough for me. I appreciate and follow Stoic Philosophy (Where the concept of Memento Mori originated.) If this is your first foray into the concept, then this may be the book for you.

[Kendra Talerico · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this book 10 stars! This will be a book I will return to many times in the future! Beautifully written, eye opening lessons, and the exercises/prompts at the end of each chapter, plus the appendices are a wonderful bonus. I wish everyone in the world could read this.

[Dr Bernado Levy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the kind of book that lingers with you—it changes the way you see your time, your relationships, and even your daily choices. It’s not about morbidity; it’s about appreciating life in a more profound way. Enjoyed it 👍

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Lilies Remain · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[April Peveteaux · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect gift for anyone who is going to die. So, anyone.

[Julie Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing. I got it from the library and then ordered my own copy so I can read it properly as designed.
I HIGHLY recommend this book.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting but definitely not a good book for me at this moment

[Roy Kenagy]

DMPL EXAMINED 250619 12 CHAPTERS, 1 FOR EACH WEEK WITH EXERCISES AT THE END OF EACH CHAPTER PROBABLY NOT

[Max Power · Rating 4 out of 5]

Take the author's advice and read each chapter once a week. I feel like I got more out of this book doing that than I would have if I tried to digest everything all at once.

[Issa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joanna Ebenstein writes about death the way some people write about skincare routines. Methinks she's obsessed with Death--not in a humble, philosophical "memento mori" way, but in a show-me-your-bone-collection kinda way. Honestly, respect. 

[Diogo Silva · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the idea of contemplating death to live a better life. The book does an excellent job putting it into practice.
I don't agree with every idea explored in the book and the author itself suggests readers to keep an open mind. I liked that.
On the negatives - book feels a bit "home-worky" with lots of activities at the end, may help a lot of people but not my thing. Style could be more engaging, sometimes is not the book you are eager to turn to the next page. Maybe I read it too quickly and the theme is heavy - author suggests one chapter a week and doing the activities, but again that looked a bit too "self-help" style for me