New Mistakes

by Clement Goldberg

Classic human follies of desire and ambition foreground a revelatory awakening the planet needs.UFOs in formation in the sky. Vegetation—from cranky houseplants to wise old conifers—telepathically transmit their complaints. A cat gone viral rebels against her influencer caretaker. In California, interconnected strangers find one another, drawn by messy threads of sex and art, their lives falling apart as an extraordinary new reality arises.In this debut novel by Clement Goldberg, classic human follies of desire and ambition foreground a revelatory awakening the planet needs. By turns tender and hilarious, visionary, and perceptive, New Mistakes wittily shows us how we live today, and how we might, astonishingly, live tomorrow.

Genres: Fiction, Queer, Lesbian, Transgender

232 pages, Paperback

Published September 10, 2024

Reviews

[Ariiiii · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am not sure what kind of fever dream I just exited, but it was a delight. Fisting! Aliens! Throuples! Talking plants! Oh to be alive today

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can’t remember how this ended up on my TBR and ended up going in blind which was the way to go because this took me on a wild ride. The tone was initially jarring but I quickly adjusted to the kind of satirical way this is written. And then the speculative elements kicked in and I was fully sat.

It reminded me of Rejection but less miserable and The Seep but more fun? And of course it fits right in with my fave Sarahland. I love the queerness of this book and the different POVs were all unique and entertaining. I would have liked to see more from Franklin, out of all the characters he was the one I felt the least connected to.

Basically I need more people to read this because it’s incredible and unique and I’m going to be thinking about it for a long time.

[T Brown]

Wow this was so queer and messy. Grounded in a reality that appeared very realistic, it was so often imbued with just a certain twist of fate that the reader reckons with and simply has to accept. Narrative shifts in perspective were a clear highlight. Made me no more hopeful about human relationships but I guess I could not have expected anything different. I hope Julia gets a more stable future. A story anchored by telepathic communications was something I was really excited to read about. I wanted to know more about the orbs/extraterrestrial characters and the plants/ferns but perhaps they seemed to be too far out of reach to be moored by language. The way nothing was resolved but yay Henry has Edith.

[endrju · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found the novel quite similar to Stinzi's My Volcano in that the narrative joins together fantastic and queer elements (telepathic plants and cats, UFOs, lesbians and gender queer individuals + a white cis guy fumbling about). But where Stinzi's story was an explosion of whatever-that-was (in a good way), Goldberg's story was like walking through molasses (also in a good way). Reading these two together shows the possibilities of queer narrative threading similar grounds but to quite different effects, speeding up and slowing down, and poses a question about what form of queerness to inhabit today.

[Jordan]

Very interesting and unique—once I was fully in the flow of the book I had a great time. Crazy storyline but a lot of the subject matter made me think about my relationship with nature and all the living things around me. Thumbs up to this one

[Chanel Chapters · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

First sentence: “Julia woke up like a piece of sweaty sandwich meat.”

5 POVs.

A throuple decides to become a couple,so the third wheel Julia heads to her accomplished author trans brother’s house as he writes about cats and she kills his talking houseplants.

Avery, a former adjunct professor cuck who loves being pegged sees a ufo while staying with his famous gay artist mother, Evil, & her possessive gf Catherine.

There’s also Henry, a black gay wannabe Jackson Galaxy, and his telepathic cat Edith.
Lots of wanking, sex & art.
Pro UFOs, houseplants and kitties - wacky AF.

“She remembered that the three of swords reversed had medicine, and when she arrived at franklins side she intended to hang like a bat and let the blades slide free”

[Vanessa Arteaga · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75/5 stars. So funny and gay. There were lines that made me laugh out loud, and I enjoyed this book’s deadpan absurdism. Especially loved the ways this book critiqued modern coverage of protests and anti-trans legislation. I thought that the writing started out really unique and strong, but as the plot began to develop, I connected with it less and less. At times, it felt like I was just reading the bullet points of a story ("This happened, and then this happened, and then she thought this" …etc.). Other than that, this was an enjoyable read with some clever commentary on our current political landscape.

[Oriana]

Oh this sounds SO fun. From a Charlie Jane Anders WaPo roundup:

“New Mistakes” slyly probes the wobbly line between artist and online influencer, between the personal and the parasocial, but Goldberg’s affection for their characters shows through. Goldberg uses a gently omniscient POV and summarizes long conversations instead of presenting them as dialogue, bolstering the impression of a witty raconteur telling a wild tale.

[Marina DeCotiis · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I loved this book from the start and it felt like it was rly building to something & then at the end it totally unraveled and fell a little flat. I still enjoyed reading it and loved the writing style - so sharp and funny and real.

[Zoe]

yeah i ate it up. i had been debating whether or not to buy this book for like a yr and finally asked for it as an xmas gift....it was very fun and sexy and ridiculous. yes smart too although i kind of just read it for the main reason of fun. i like the voice, reminiscent of kevin killian (although 2 compare would be 2 blaspheme) and helpful for my own writing as a reminder of the joys/possibilities of a cavalier satirical tone.

.....but honestly i'm feeling overwhelmed at the moment by promiscuous queer self-aware semi-speculative fiction. what a way to live. similarly to the way in which i am currently, in my post-migraine moment, craving to eat a fortifying and bland meal of lentils and roasted vegetables, i am also craving something ""serious"" like some sort of ""classic"" to clear my palate after this & the megan milks. sometimes you need to get away from the queer reaching.

relatedly --am wanting to get back on my goodreads reviewing game as it is currently feeling uninspiring and dull. what to do to animate it?!? more blog-like? let me know if u have ideas

[Alicia Everson · Rating 4 out of 5]

New Mistakes was original, quirky, and a super fun book to read!

Multiple POV’s that intertwined in a fluid way that made this easy to read and feel connected with each of the characters. In some books characters have their own chapters and don’t blend together easily and I find myself itching to get back to my favorite persons POV. With this book they overlapped in ways that kept me interested in each person and came together very smoothly. This was executed extremely well and I really liked it.

Who doesn’t love the idea of telepathy with cats, plants, and UFO’s! There were a few exciting, steamy, spicey moments between characters that were quite hot as well!

The only thing preventing me from giving this 5 stars is that I wanted a bit more closure in the ending and feel like the cats needed a couple more chapters.

Overall this was hilariously hot, super queer, and had me roped in. It was hard to put down and I loved every second of reading it!

[Sacha Voteau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book! Unapologetically queer, the right amount of kooky, and a fun way to engage with science fiction! I LOVE a multi-narrator book but I did kind of feel like the narrator sometimes got stuck as one person a little too long (ok let's be real it was just when it was stuck on Avery for a while, but I like to think he would understand my frustrations). Love love loved also the first person changing between people as they were having a conversation I haven't really read a lot of books like that and it was so so interesting. My only real note is more Edith please.

[Byram · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was quite the wild ride, madcap and philosophical and telepathical and not a little bit queer and horny. The story interweaves the actions and ennui five academics and artists add they navigate newfound powers in the setting of previous stagnation, culminating in a query into none other than mind expansion itself. Totally unexpected and unique

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a strange one! A lot gets packed into a pretty short book and it took a while for the narratives to come together. The characters all go with the flow too much that I sometimes felt like I skipped over a page. In my personal opinion it could have used more of the contact with the plants, less on Avery in general, and the cat plot seemed to be there to introduce unnecessary characters.

[Camilo Olaya · Rating 4 out of 5]

Genuinely loved this book, I thought the humor and comedy was hilarious. Was a very queer book with its characters and themes, and I loved how the book tied in so many fantastical and whacky elements that are in the zeitgeist today into it.

[Bailey Wild · Rating 4 out of 5]

A highly entertaining, super weird (in a good way), fun adventure. It could’ve benefitted from slightly less cat stuff and a bit tidier of an ending. Definitely worth a read and a refreshing change of pace/something new and different.

[Bennett · Rating 5 out of 5]

i was locked in from the first page. witty and made me laugh like nothing i’ve read before. every single artist/media reference was insane and the octavia butler mention nailed it for me. i’m ready for new mistakes.

“who isn’t at least a little bit telepathic?” #catyeller

[AT · Rating 4 out of 5]

loved this! a great, heady concept and goofy enough to stick the landing. loved the characters, so realistic, so queer! not necessarily the most seamless or refined prose but that made a high-concept book like this feel more authentic

[Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a weird and twisted ride and one of the most unique voices I've come across in a while. Telepathy, thruples, sentient plant-life, aliens, bdsm, people of all stripes, government conspiracy, telepathic cats, art, very mateer of fact sex. Yeah. Definitely have never read anything like it.

[Amina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I can't really say why this fell flat...I was tempted to dnf multiple times.

[G · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wild, meditative queer fever dream of a ride. The prose sometimes felt isolating but I really loved it.

[Ben Jaeger · Rating 2 out of 5]

This took me so long to read. Premise was interesting and I really liked some of the characters, but I was never motivated to pick this up and read it. The plot seemed a little aimless to me.

[Alana · Rating 2 out of 5]

bad then good then bad again

[Sean Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fun romp. Wild, goes all over the place. I laughed out loud a couple of times.

Sometimes the writing style is fluid and feels improvised in good way - sometimes it veers into annoying (to me) liberal-affected language (CIS White Male is written probably 5-10 times, going to therapy at least 5x, emotional labor, 3-5x). Sometimes it had the madcap energy of something like "The Sellout" (which I absolutely love), but about a fifth of the time, it feels like it gets in its own way.

But I venture I'm not the target audience. Still - I enjoyed a lot and read it in basically one sitting.