Habits for a Sacred Home: 9 Practices from History to Anchor and Restore Modern Families

by Jennifer Pepito

Frightened by the chaos in society, many parents fear for their children's futures--and end up raising them to pursue some vague idea of success. But what if we enlarged our focus? What if we created homes that nurture hope and birth world-changers?

Just as Saint Benedict thrived during the Dark Ages through God-centered daily rhythms and Amy Carmichael created hopeful homes in the midst of destruction and despair, we can create a rule of life that nurtures communities of faith. By highlighting the simple, intentional practices in the lives of notable women, homeschool mom and life coach Jennifer Pepito helps you

- discover God's best for your family and home
- push back chaos by finding your own rhythm
- eliminate distractions so your home becomes a place of refuge
- foster a family culture of simplicity and stability
- raise children who are lights in a troubled generation

Don't fear the future. Create a home that brings life to future generations--and shines with hope and peace in these trying times.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Faith, Christian Living, Audiobook, Religion

189 pages, Hardcover

First published May 7, 2024

About the author

Jennifer Pepito is the author of Mothering by the Book and the founder of The Peaceful Press (http://thepeacefulpress.shop). Jennifer is on a mission to help moms overcome fear and love their life, and her homeschool curriculum empowers this through heroic stories, heartwarming poetry, and engaging life skills development. Her resources help create joyful memories among families, which leads to deeper connections and lasting relationships. Jennifer’s writing has been featured in several online and print journals, including Wild and Free, Commonplace Quarterly, and Home Educating Family. She’s a Wild and Free podcast host and has made guest appearances on popular podcasts such as 1000 Hours Outside, At Home with Sally, and Charlotte Mason Poetry. Jennifer lives in the mountains with her beloved family, where she enjoys reading aloud, working in her garden, and watching the sunset.

Reviews

[Katherine H · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok so first we should probably talk about the fact that this book is aimed at homeschooling mothers. I'm not a homeschooling mother and therefore probably a lot of my complaints are less valid than if I was actively doing it myself.

This author claims to be a pan millenialist and while she doesn't necessarily tell us what that means she does reflect a sort of "the world is out to get us" mentality that reminds me a lot of the community I grew up in. And that's not fun. Using your home and raising your children as a way to fight against the darkness? Ok, but what does that mean?

I'm confused by how little she talks about her husband. Jennifer seems to believe it's all on her to be the best mother and in fact the best parent for her children. Is she the only one doing this? Did she forget that the women she speaks about, the married ones, with children, had husbands too? How does loving your husband fit into the heart of your home? No idea.

It kind of felt to me like she was getting vague intentionally to protect her children, which I fully support. However, her social media is filled with exactly the kinds of details she leaves out here which is weird. It kinda feels like Jennifer is trying to be Sally Clarkson, just twenty years later. And that's fine.

But the underlying feeling I'm getting is that this is the right way to do things. Slowing down and spending time in nature is good. Owning a farm, however, is not required. Stability doesn't seem to be a biblical virtue in the sense of living in one place, but I'm concerned by the fact that they've attended 3 churches in 6 years while living in the same place. Being different than the world is good but believing that your way of life is right when your entire community is doing something different is a bit concerning.

Oh and! Gathering outdoors with 40 people during the height of COVID as civil disobedience, honoring God rather than honoring men? Thank you, no. It was here that I realized that Jennifer is the kind of wife that I heard about growing up. She "submits" to her husband (Jennifer uses the word obey which is all kinds of uncomfy) but she's the real powerhouse of the family, raising the children, milking the goats, making the sourdough, hosting the guests, all while presenting this perfect picture of a happy family.

I want that. I want that picture perfect life, but not in any kind of way that Jennifer gives to me.

I could go on and talk about the heroes of the faith that Jennifer venerates without acknowledging their flaws, the strange brand of Christianity that values returning to the early saints like St Benedict, and the fact that there are no outcomes mentioned, no results from the years she has done this. How do her children feel? How are they implementing these kinds of things? But no. All we know is that following these nine principles makes you a godly mother, and if you fall outside any one of these, you've lost touch with who God truly wants you to be. No, thank you.

[Rachel Wright · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was nothing wrong with this actual message of the book, but the underlying tone and voice of the message just wasn’t for me.

There seemed to be a lot of fear running under the surface — fear of culture creeping in to our homes and churches, fear of crime, fear of political outcomes, fear of wasting time or resources, etc which I found unhelpful.

The last chapter titled Balance was my favorite of all because she acknowledges her struggles with perfectionism and clearly lays out the Gospel by faith and grace alone. That was the best part of the book hands down.

I would hesitate to recommend this book because much of it felt like a hefty to-do list. I also ascribe more to the view that Christians do not need to remove themselves from culture in most cases, but live their Gospel-redeemed lives IN the world in a way that exalts the beauty of Christ.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

In this book, Jennifer Pepito highlights 9 intentional practices (or habits) intended to anchor mothers. These habits are: work, stewardship, prayer, order, simplicity, stability, hospitality, community and balance. Pepito highlights each of these practices through women in history.

I found this to be an easy, quick read with a good deal of food for thought and would recommend it for Christian mothers looking to be more intentional in their homes. I enjoyed that there were references to quite a few other books I've read and loved (Habits of the Household and Liturgy of the Ordinary among others). Each chapter focused on one habit and the legacy of one woman from history.

My little criticism of this book and what kept it from being a 5-star read for me: I personally have issue with what I feel has become an idol among some Christians to “restore culture.” Restored to what era?! Sin is rampant through all time! I wish that conversation about “restoration” would refer to restoration of the Garden... not some over-romanticized, idolized “restoration of culture.” I'm not saying there are not things wrong with society. I just think that as Christians, collectively we are focusing on the wrong thing -- our eyes need to be on Jesus and how we can be light in the world. And Pepito does recognize this with the question "How can we as a family be light in a dark world?" which this book aims to answer.

With all that being said (sorry for the bit of the soapbox tangent), this was still a 4 star read for me and one I'd recommend! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Emily M · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book seems to have a bunch of different ideas that don't totally coalesce. On the one hand, she is referencing the Rule of Benedict and trying to apply it to a Christian homeschool home life. On another hand, she is pulling exemplary women from the past as exemplars of these habits. She's also recommending additional reading, some suggestions for family prayers and Bible memory, and randomly includes a recipe at the end of each chapter (but doesn't provide context for how she found these recipes or how her family enjoys them).

I'm not opposed to any of those things, but the book feels jaggedly assembled. Edith Schaeffer, Amy Carmichael, Elisabeth Elliot, and Ruth Bell Graham were familiar selections as inspirational women, but I will be checking out more on Mary McLeod Bethune and Ella Tweten. A couple of her inspiring examples were odd: Holocaust survivor Esther Jungreis wasn't a Christian; Madeleine L'Engle was a universalist, and Pepito implies that Christians were/are leery of her faith for being a fantasy writer without mentioning her heretical theology. Some of her personal stories of homeschooling in the early years are heartwarming, but then she casually mentions how a neighbor molested her and how she and the neighbor kids found someone's porn stash, and I'm not quite sure where she was meaning to go with all that. She quotes Justin Whitmel Earley and Wendell Berry; I have been talking about both of them all summer to various friends but probably won't be recommending this book in those conversations because it's so uneven.

[Janessa Miller · Rating 4 out of 5]

There were a few times she mentioned being fearful about the state of the world where I thought we were going to disappear down a different path and braced for impact, but she always came back to creating order and habits that cultivate faith and change society from within our families—including a chapter on generous hospitality, which left me convicted. The book isn't prescriptive, but gives practical prompts to create family habits that fit your home. And good book recommendations for further reading in each habit area. I'll probably refer back to some of the ideas.

I appreciated this overview of breaking family habits into categories, it left me contemplative and inspired to be more intentional with my family.

[Katelynn Baldacchino · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is one of those books that should’ve been just a blog post. Too many quotes. Strangely vague. Extremely privileged. Written from a fear-based perspective. I can see why people love it, but it wasn’t for me. I almost dfn’ed this, but it only took 90 minutes to read the whole thing so I just powered through.

I loved the idea of this book and did see some value in it, but overall I was very disappointed.

(Also, why was she so obsessed with the homeless? She mentioned “the growing issue of homelessness” in almost every chapter. And not from an angle of hospitality, but like she was afraid homeless vagrants were out to get her. It was weird.)

[Natalie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honestly…at this point it’s tiring when everything concerning biblical womanhood is so traditional. For example, at the end of every chapter there’s a recipe. But why do we put women into one category as if every single woman cares about a recipe? What if I don’t want a recipe? What if I want a soundtrack of really cool songs? This is a great book for the typical homeschool mom, but that’s not me.

[Carrie Brownell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Exceedingly encouraging.

[Kristin Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Poorly written, disjointed, weirdly author centric. If you’re looking for a strong, biblical, gospel centered habits book, this is not it. Super disappointed. DNF.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Man! It started out strong, but it quickly devolved into way too much mention of Benedictine monks and her other book. I love the motivation for encouraging good habits and giving yourself grace when you fall short of your desired goals.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

"Instead of continuing to fight to "save America," perhaps it is time to simply pursue a godly life and benevolent detachment, releasing the state of the world to God."

I agree with the general premise of this book but that's about it. The content was very surface level and her references to why America needs to be "saved" refer to things that personally bother me about American conservative Christianity - she regularly compares contemporary America to the collapse of the Roman empire, citing specifically overstatements about how apparently stealing is now legal, covid protocols are evil and designed to break apart the church, and homeless people are all just lazy and the existence of welfare programs means that we're all doomed (but Christians who helped homeless people in the past are heroes and *those* homeless people just came on hard times, unlike today when they just lack work ethic).

If you're interested in the premise, I recommend Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley instead.

[HK Matter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this one, but they're a bit tricky to pinpoint... I will do my best.

I love the concept of this book and message! The execution of it feels a bit scattered. There were some huge personal revelations that were casually dropped into random chapters and not addressed more than enough to leave you a little shocked. That was more disorienting than anything else.

Secondly, I disagree on Pepito's "live and let live" philosophy when it comes to theology. I think it can be beneficial to kindly disagree with other Christians on doctrine (in the context of community and real relationship—not on Facebook) and to actually learn and dig into what you believe to better be able to help others rightly interpret scripture. We don't have to beat others over the head with all of our "knowledge," but just keeping an open mind and accepting all as right is harmful and destructive.
As lovely and inclusive as it sounds, all interpretations are not correct nor beneficial to believers. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is tell a hard truth in love to a brother or sister in Christ (and be sure to be living out this truth in your own life).

Thank you for coming to my rant.

[Kim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book encouraged, consoled, delighted, and spurred me on. Full of encouragement to faithfulness, joy, and devotion.

[Ali C · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF
lots of political asides, fear based thinking, not my vibe.
Check out Justin Whitmel Earley’s Habits of the Household instead.

[Hannah Swedberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

JD and I loved reading this out loud on a long car ride. We definitely have takeaways we would like to make a custom practice in our home!

[Karina Tiggelaar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some good ideas and lots of scriptural reference . This book would likely be more enjoyable to a homeschooling mom than it was to me 😊

[Christine Gustin]

DNF. So many good little nuggets and quotes and suggestions, but ultimately this book just wasn’t for me and I didn’t finish it. I admire Pepito a lot and I know that we both have such a heart for Jesus and for raising kids… but I think we just have fundamentally different ways that we see/feel about the world, so I had a really hard time getting into this book.

[Erica Schrader · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was odd. I really wanted to like it and while I agree with the recommended habits, there are other clearly commanded habits that were glaringly missing. Namely, Bible reading and the teaching of the Scriptures in the home (Deut 6:4-8). Also, the way the author arrived at her recommended habits was strange. With a heavy reliance on the Benedictines, quoting the NKJ, and a few verse applications taken out of context, it felt like the author’s brand of Christianity was a strange mix of Mormonism, Catholicism, and evangelicalism. Though there are some nuggets to glean from this book, I will not be recommending it for the reasons listed above.

[Sophie Miller · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was disappointing. There was very little gospel present which made it feel like a looming to-do list which was undergirded by fear and the desire to keep the influences of culture out of your home. The desire to protect the home is admirable but you cannot protect the home from all sin because, well, you live there. I disagreed with her at several points and don’t really understand the upholding of some of the character examples in the book.

If you’re looking for a book on more gospel-y habits within the home, I commend to you Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley or The Lifegiving Home (or The Lifegiving Table) by Sally Clarkson.

[Minte · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lots of practical advice about making Christ-centric rules for your home. I don't agree with everything she says about faith, but the book has good structure, effective writing, and wise tips for home life.

[Sarah Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was helpful. Nothing super new or profound but good reminders of things to prioritize in the home and why/how they make a difference.
A few times the tone of it put me off, more in the beginning, but I think she developed a more gracious & balanced tone as the book proceeded.

[Manola · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately, it ended up on my DNF shelf. It sets unrealistic expectations with personal stories that are frankly unrelatable to most of us.

[Natalie Herr · Rating 2 out of 5]

Wanted to love this, but it was a little off for me. The scope was more narrow than I expected; it is written by a homeschooling mom and seemed to assume all the readers would be moms and likely homeschoolers, as well. Nothing wrong with that, I just thought the book’s ideas would be more widely applied to all members of the household.

It seemed the author was trying to do a lot of things at once - use St. Benedict’s Rule as the basis for habit formation, use women from history as examples of the habits in each chapter, provide practical ways to begin the habits (which were broad, so could be practiced in many ways), and also eventually guide you in creating a rule of life. There was a lot going on. There was also a lot of fear-based language about culture (not surprising with Benedict’s Rule as an influence). There was more talk about how we as Christians “restore the world” than about how Jesus restores and the Spirit empowers. Overall, I wanted to hear more about Jesus and where we find these habits in his life and in the Word. There was really only one explicit touch on the gospel of grace in the last chapter, which I was thankful to see.

I would be more inclined to recommend her source materials than I would be to recommend this book in particular.

[Alicia · Rating 2 out of 5]

BLUF: I want all the homeschooling mothers to know that there's more than one way to be a godly wife and mother. I think if I had kids I'd be more convinced after reading it that I wasn't doing things the "right" way. Your life doesn't have to look like all the other homeschooling families!

I'm not a homeschooling mother, or a mother, so I'm likely not the target audience. Still, I am a Christian and I think all of our habits, including those in our home, so I thought this would be good to read.

I found this unutterably dull.

She talks about some good habits, less screen time for example, and spending time daily in the Word. I agree. Especially the whole, owning fewer things gives you more time to do things and it's good not to get into debt. This felt like Law, Law, Law though and I found some of her phrasing questionable. She does provide solid historical examples that offer a different and needed perspective for today's modern world that says everything should be easy. That's good. We are woefully lacking in perspective nowadays.

Overall, I agree it's good to order our lives to line up with God's Word. There's more than one way to do that however, you don't have to do it the same way all the other wives you know are doing it. God gives different people different gifts.

[Kathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Good
These nine habits are excellent and we should all cultivate them. I appreciated that most chapters included some bullet point action plan/practical applications.

The biographical information about the historical figures was very interesting, both in how they related to their prescribed habit and just their experiences in general. I finished this wanting to learn more about many of these women.

Pepito is an easy to read and engaging author. Particularly when she’s writing about other people, her words flow and this book is short and succinct.

The Not So Good
The author’s personal experiences as they related to each habit were uneven and occasionally uninspiring. Knowing little about this author, I left the book feeling that she was both a scattered and immature Christian/wife/mother and also confident and seasoned. I think if she had prefaced her personal stories with when (past or present) this would’ve been a bit more fluid. She does occasionally place her stories in time but not in every instance.

When I am reading a prescriptive book about life, I have more confidence in the author if they have more confidence in themselves, and (as other reviewers have pointed out) if they can show you some results from what they are talking about. The author talked about how to implement these habits and how she has, but very little about the results - especially in regards to her family.

As others reviewers have pointed out more eloquently than I, the focus on cultural restoration is shaky. At what point was culture good? What are we restoring to?

Because this is such a short book, her harping on certain topics (like her fear of homelessness) made it seem as if that were an overarching theme in her life. I have read part of her previous title (Mothering by the Book) and I know she writes a lot about fear. While I can relate to this, again, you want a little more assurance and confidence in the author when they are prescribing an antidote for you.

Verdict
A quick and easy read with lots of good information if you can get past personal stories from the author’s life.

[Olivia Meriwether · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked the message of making the home a place of service for the Lord- to serve the family, guests, and anyone who happens to stop in (angels of the Lord like in Hebrews 13:2)

There are 9 Benedictine habits that the author works through in each chapter then recommends to create family practices around: work, stewardship, prayer, order, simplicity, stability, hospitality, community, and balance. While I appreciated this structure, I felt the overall teachings were not as helpful as other books I have read (mainly Habits of the Household by Justin Whitmel Earley)

My main takeaway- I really liked the mentality shift of our work (whether in or outside the home) being an opportunity to be creative. Often times, I view work just as work, forgetting that I can do it as an expression of the creativity God has given me to bless others. Plus, I have more fun when I see work this way!

[Zoe Hodnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book! I felt like it was a very practical and quick guide to familial and household habits! The author used examples from scripture as well as missionaries and Bible teachers of ways to live out the scripture in our current world and life situations. At the end of each chapter, there were questions about how you could implement habits into your own life. Each chapter also included “further reading” and a recipe, which I thought was fun! I will definitely be coming back to read over some parts of this book as we become new parents.

[Savanna Richardson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely beautiful book! Really opened my eyes and is helping me to begin this journey to creating a Sacred Home! I want to do better and be better, and this book has given me so much advice and direction! Cannot wait to instill some of these into our daily life ❤️❤️❤️

[Nicole Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has beautiful advice on how to implement habits into your home & family. I will admit I felt a little overwhelmed about how I could implement them all but then decided to just read & them then any advice that really touched me I would just work on 1 thing.

[Taylor Lent · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️ I really enjoyed this book on spiritual practices in your home - hospitality, stability, stewardship, community, etc. She is a mom to 7 children and has lots of insight. An enjoyable read.