On the Threshold of Hope: Opening the Door to Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse

by Diane Langberg

On the Threshold of Hope offers hope and healing to men and women who have been traumatized by sexual abuse. Dr. Langberg's insights and the quotations from many survivors assure readers that they are not alone and that Christ, the Redeemer, can heal their deep wounds. Through stories, Scripture, questions, and encouragement, Dr. Langberg walks with survivors on the road to healing through Christ's love and power.

Genres: Counselling, Abuse, Psychology, Christian, Theology, Spirituality, Self Help

207 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 10, 1999

About the author

Dr. Diane Langberg is a practicing psychologist whose clinical expertise includes 35 years of working with trauma survivors and clergy. She speaks internationally on topics related to women, trauma, ministry and the Christian life.

Reviews

[Dana Schnitzel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Diane Langberg has such a gift for speaking big truths gently to hurting hearts. The power of the gospel is the lifeblood of her work. This book is no exception. If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual trauma (spoiler alert: they have), this book is a strong and beautiful resource.

[Brianna Schwartz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not necessarily a page Turner, hence the 2.5 month read. But this book confirmed I loveeee Langberg. She had me tearing up way too many times in less than 200 pages. The tone is very sisterly, yet very knowledgeable and easy to follow. Well balanced with Scripture and the gospel and the real effects of trauma in every aspect of life.

[Caitlyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book that I have used with client survivors of sexual abuse. Highly recommend!

[Allie · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a survivor, this is one of the best books I've read on this topic, and one which I will read multiple times. From the very beginning, Diane returns to survivors two important things that abuse takes away -- choice and voice. She encourages the reader to stop when her mind or body needs a break, and she intentionally kept the chapters short to help with this. She gives permission to read chapters out of order, depending on what the reader needs to focus on in a given moment. Each chapter provides an opportunity for the reader to write down her thoughts, questions, etc., to give words to her experience, her struggles, her emotions. She provides guidance and practical advice on how to care for yourself as you read this book. And throughout every chapter, she points survivors to the Redeemer. She weaves scripture into every chapter, pointing to a Savior who intimately knows what a survivor has experienced. She doesn't just toss in a verse here-and-there; she takes time to start unpacking scripture and slowly reveals what God says to survivors. She invites survivors to wrestle with the questions inevitably caused by sexual abuse -- how could God allow this, is God good, how can I trust God, does God love me, and many more. At the same time, she admits that some of the questions do not have answers -- "I cannot explain to you the ways of God. I can tell you of the character of God, and it is there that you will find the treasures that are hidden in your darkness." (pg 193).

If you are a pastor, counselor, or simply someone who wants to walk alongside survivors in their journey of healing, read this book. Then, read it again.
If you are a survivor, find a safe, trusted friend or counselor and ask them to read this with you -- when you are ready. Healing is a long process and we may not see full and complete healing this side of Heaven, but healing is possible for you. If you can't believe it, I'll believe it for you until you can.

[Lizzy Cooley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for all Christians. Whether you are a survivor of sexual abuse, you know someone who has suffered (I guarantee you do! 1 in 4 women, 1 in 6 men), or you work with survivors, you need to read this.

If you are a survivor, this book may be triggering, but the author gently opens the door to understanding how trauma shows up physically, emotionally, mentally, relationally, and spiritually and shows what healing looks like in each of these areas. The author does not pretend to have the answers for why God has allowed this to happen, but she articulates that Jesus is distinctly able to understand the darkness you find yourself in. She points out that Jesus was stripped naked, humiliated, beaten, and crucified in front of hundreds of people, abandoned by those who swore to remain at his side, and experienced agony unlike any other. He understands. The God of the universe made himself human and understands you and your trauma deeper than anyone else. Hope and healing are breathed into every word of this book.

If you have not personally experienced sexual abuse, this book helps you understand what your friend or loved one has gone through and why they may act and react the way they do. It is a really great starting point for if you want to be a safe place for someone, but aren’t sure how to respond to a loved one who has experienced such evil. One of the last chapters gives you specific guidelines for how to walk through hell with a survivor while caring for yourself.

Whether you have experienced sexual abuse or not, this book will pull you closer to the heart of Jesus and reveal new truths about Him.

[Hope Helms · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a helpful starting place for those seeking to navigate their story concerning sexual abuse. Readers should also know it is no replacement for professional therapy. To that end some will find this resource more helpful than others, depending on where they are at in their journey, but that is not meant to be a discouraging comment to reading this book.

Overall, this book may be best read slowly, with a compassionate friend who is willing to be present for you in whatever the book uncovers for you. Additionally I would recommend it to those who are in a caring position for others to better understand how abuse affects a person and their thinking. There is an excellent appendix on how to walk with someone in their healing journey.

One thing to note is that there are places where I feel like the chapters could have been ordered differently (particularly in the last two sections) to break up the heavy, so don’t be afraid to follow the written advice to skip around as needed. This is the only reason I gave it four stars as I felt the editor could have helped more in the formatting front.

[Makayla Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I could go back to me a year ago, I would give her a big ole hug and hand her this book!

This book is simply so good! The author walks through how abuse affects every way of thinking and being and how deeply it affects you physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. She has the reader journal throughout reflecting on lies formed, patterns believed, the damage done and the things lost because of what you experienced. The author does not end here but instead reminds readers of the deep hope that is found in the gospel! I think that this book for me showed how much growth and change has happened since I first started talking about what happened and how Christ has healed so much in my life. There will continually be things that I have to unlearn and work through but it encouraged me in how much progress I have made! With that said this book is designed for those who are just in the beginnings of processing but I think anyone at any stage can benefit from this book- also those who are close to them as the book does specifically address those who are walking with someone!

[Ruth E. R. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently ordered this book because my life skills coach/discipleship mentor had mentioned it several times over the past few years we've known each other. I decided to read it as I pondered whether or not it was okay to uncover secrets and hurts from the past, and I'm now convinced that it's important to say them out loud with a safe person, in order to heal. I'm not doing a "treatment" psychologists call "regression therapy," which is anti-biblical. What was missing or taken from me can be restored as I acknowledge these losses and learn the skills that I was unable to learn on my own. I'm becoming an adult emotionally as well as spiritually. The book affirmed what I'm doing in several ways. First, that I'm not the only one who took decades to say what actually happened and that I could not move on in life without some help. It showed me that others have taken a similar journey, over an unhurried length of time, heading toward the same place, of redemption and supernatural forgiveness, and a decluttered heart that has room to love others. Another truth I heard repeatedly in my mind as I read the book is how lavishly blessed I am, that the Lover and Redeemer of my soul has made himself known to me, through the dear friends he has brought into my life. They tell me the truth, they show me the way, and I'm coming back to life.

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am in therapy for childhood abuse and have been reading everything I can get my hands on on the topic of healing. Unfortunately, I purchased this book without realizing it is written from a Christian perspective. This is dangerous. The author claims all kinds of things about Jesus as the son of god and redeemer, but research has proven over and over that Jesus did not rise from the dead and that there is no God, regardless of religion or denomination. Gods (plural) have existed for all human history because humans need desperately to make sense of what they can’t understand. But wishing don’t make it so. 😊 Unfortunately, the historical evidence bears out that much of Christianity is borrowed from pagan religions and was heavily censored by men to control people. There is ZERO evidence that God exists and therefore, writing a trauma recovery book based on “God” miraculously healing people is not helpful.

[Sharon Brobst · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for those who have walked through sexual abuse or you know someone who has and you are trying to walk the journey of healing with them. Through her years of counseling countless men and women who have been abused she understands the deep trauma the victim experiences.

As I read this book I kept saying, "Yes! Finally someone understands!" She gently walks along side the victim and helps point them to the only One who can truly understand, Jesus. This book helped me understand myself better and the effects of chronic abuse. It also helped me see the where and whys of God in the midst of it all.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I use this book in my counseling practice when working with victims of childhood sexual abase. It does a great job of lovingly reminding you how to find the power within and from above to overcome the stronghold that it can have over you. The authors tone is patient, soft, and soothing. She explores many areas in which victims and survivors struggle. Particularly I enjoyed the sections on how abuse changes our thinking, our bodies, and our spiritual walk.

[Dean · Rating 5 out of 5]

A difficult but must read. Langberg shows herself to be a good teacher and a better learner and listener. She also shows the path toward deep, true healing, found in the Healer.

"They draw on deep Wells of courage, endurance, creativity, strength, and determination.
...
I have great respect for the survivors I have known over the years. The characteristics they developed to live against the odds will serve them well when they decide to embark on the healing process."

[Claudia Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book because our church's support group for survivors of sexual abuse uses it. The book is excellent on every level as help for a survivor and help for someone wanting to help a survivor. Nothing is sugar-coated, and yet there is a feeling of hope for healing. A great book to read if you are a survivor and a great book to have in your tool-kit if you want to be there for survivors.

[Missy Camilleri · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this for a training I am doing for working with women that have been sexually exploited. While it didn't apply to me personally, it was helpful for understanding what these women may be going through. I really appreciated the insight this offered on a very difficult subject.

[Lydia · Rating 5 out of 5]

A good addition to one's recovery toolbox.

[Christine Danielewicz · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a beautiful treatment of a very tragic topic. Not clinical, yet very informative. Spiritual hope and healing weaved throughout.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most Christ-centered and compassionate books for survivors. A very helpful perspective for pastors, counselors, and those walking alongside those struggling with abuse.

[Jon Pentecost · Rating 4 out of 5]

Someone who has suffered sexual abuse is the intended audience. Helpful to see Langberg's posture of gentleness and clear speaking. I most appreciated the sections considering the different ways in which abuse can harm a person (long-termwise), and her steps laying out what healing can look like in those areas.

I appreciate her intentional use of the term 'survivor' rather than 'victim' to help people understand the significance of what they've endured without turning it into something they can now do nothing about. The difference in her mentality from many people, who treat a person who has endured abuse as a passive sufferer with no agency (which perpetuates some of the worst mental effects of abuse) is evident. IE, she really does affirm that a person has the ability to work through, process, and heal. Unfortunately, it seems to me in the general popular level conversation, 'survivor' is increasingly used as just a nice way of meaning 'victim'.

While Langberg points to Christ regularly throughout the book (which is good), the main focus is on Christ's suffering as commiseration and bringing/ensuring healing (if not in this life, in heaven). The atoning nature of Christ's suffering is obscured. In fact, in general, any suffering mentioned in the book is presented as suffering because of living in a sinful world (even Adam and Eve's! And sure we can all agree they bore some responsibility for causing their own suffering). Now, Langberg is working hard against the lie that so many survivors believe--that they are somehow at fault for the abuse they experienced. That is definitely a lie that needs to be killed. But it seems to me that the crucial battle against that lie seems to often overwhelm the reality that survivors are also sinful, and will respond to their suffering in sinful ways, and need someone to atone for their sin, not simply restore them from brokenness. Which is to say, the atoning work of Christ's suffering is very good news for survivors too.

Lastly, while there is much, much good wisdom in this book, it presents the healing process as primarily done through a professional counselor. Though Langberg indicates that in the last section she wants to help churches think through how to help someone confronting and processing their abuse, the church is actually completely absent from that last section. With that, there's no redemptive picture of the role of the church presented--only the pictures of how pastors can abuse their authority and those under their care. My concern is that without a redemptive picture of the role of the body of Christ in helping survivors heal, the individualistic view of Christian discipleship so pervasive these days is perpetuated.

Recommend to pastors, those walking with someone processing sexual abuse. Not sure if I'd directly recommend to the intended audience, at least not by itself.

[Rose · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is more like a 2.5 star book.

I picked this book over the other one I was planning on reading on the topic because I was under the impression this one wasn’t Christian like the other one. My mistake.

This book was heavily Christian, and while I found the parts of the book focused only on sexual abuse to be helpful and powerful, the religious parts were detracting. This book felt like it ended on the note of “Just turn to religion. Jesus will fix it.” It felt like such a weak ending that didn’t outline the book.
You can’t pray away pain or bring about healing. You have to work through it. It felt like the book had its intro, started to rip open a wound, and then sort of threw its hands in the air and said, “alright, enough of that. Just turn to Jesus.” Honestly, frustrating…

I also find the religiousness of this book to be extremely counteractive and harmful to the message of healing in this book. The author mentions how abusers can link the abuse to religion which then brings into play spiritual abuse on top of sexual abuse. I think for that reason, it would have been much wiser for her to leave out any trace of religion rather than telling people to heal from one trauma they must embrace another.

I did, however, like that the author brought up that fact that sexual abuse can and does happen in religious settings by people in religious power. I also liked that she touched on sexual abuse from a same sex abuser as well as the fact that women can also be abusers. That part I did feel was really well done.

[Jarrel Oliveira · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is tough to explain just how warming and encouraging Dr. Langberg's words are to a weary, battered, abused, and abandoned soul. She wrote a similar book which worked from the part of a psychologist's chair, advising the listener, as if we were the patient, walking us through her perspective of our ailments. In this one, however, she sits in our chair of misery, discomfort, pain, and abuse, and endures the hurt with us, one difficult topic and question at a time.

Nothing in this book feels rushed and the advice comes from a well of time, experience, and yes, godliness.

I would love to say the world needs more psychologists like Dr. Langberg (and it does) but I pray we get more human beings who reflect her faith and her care, for one another, more.

Wonderful work. Anyone struggling with the dastardly hiddenness of abuse, please, consider this book and work your way out of that hiddenness from there.

[Jerry Kinard · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are so many memorable quotes in this book. I learned so much about the pain and suffering that people who have experienced sexual abuse both inside and outside of the church. The work of healing is undoubtedly the work of the Holy Spirit, but He often helps us as counselors in that work. I pray that as a result of reading this book that He will continue to work in my own heart in helping those who have suffered great pain.

[Mayu Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Puntual y claro.

Un libro que da mucha claridad y luz sobre el tema y ofrece herramientas básicas para poder ayudar a los sobrevivientes. Muy buen libro, balanceado. Me encantó que hace un énfasis fuerte en las Escrituras, en Jesús como el sufriente que nos comprende y en el Espíritu Santo que nos sana y consuela. Lo recomiendo ampliamente.

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is thoughtfully and beautifully written. The writing shows her wise experience and is full of Biblical truths. As a therapist I was reading to see if I would recommend to any loved one I know of that has survived sexual abuse and I would with certainty. I'm very thankful she has written this. Although, to be honest I had to stop half way through the book and bawl my eyes out.

[Jill B · Rating 5 out of 5]

It took me a while to finish this book because I cried every single chapter, but it has been very helpful. She gives practical thoughts for healing through the lens of the gospel. I felt seen. She communicates truth about the weight and destruction of abuse while also pointing to hope in Christ.

[Claire Bowers-Dingus · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful companion to hope and healing. This is not just for SA survivors; this is a great guidebook to help friends and family walk alongside survivors as well. Thank you, Diane, for your Spirit-led words.

[Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Langberg provides a good overview on sexual abuse, trauma, and recovery. Recommended.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Diane is an incredible compassionate counselor. This book is a vital tool for those seeking healing from abuse and those who walk alongside them. Highly recommend.

[Dave Hornor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a wonder and a gift. If you've experienced sexual abuse or are called to walk beside those who have, this book is invaluable.

[Maiker Muñoz · Rating 5 out of 5]

quiero leer

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is this the new best book for using with survivors of sexual abuse? VERY helpful.