Love Out Loud: Building a Relationship and Family from Scratch

by Jarius Joseph

Terrell and Jarius’ are a beautiful couple you see online every day. They met during their freshman year of college at a haunted house, and soon realized they could not live without each other. Soon, the couple became famous for sharing their love story via social media and now, they live and work together as content creators, activists, and social media stars. Before these gorgeous people became highly sought-after brand ambassadors, they kept their whole relationship a secret.  Now as major Influencers in the LGBTQ+ space, they are writing a book to show all the major obstacles that have allowed them to achieve their dream life today. Through prejudice, marriage, disappointments, loss, secrecy, parenthood, and adversity, the couple shows that despite what you think, love is what makes all their dreams come true.  
 
Love Out Loud  shares the couple's love through their private moments of embracing who they are as individuals, as a couple, and as a family unit, and truly how beautiful those moments can be.  Love Out Loud   is about love, relationships, and surviving through storms together no matter what is thrown at you. The two men share the life they have dreamed about and how they achieved it despite societal pressures around them. Through personal anecdotes, the two offer the powerful lessons that they only could have learned on their distinct as gay, black men, they have tremendous empathy that comes across on screen that translates to nuclear and alternative families alike.
 

Genres: Nonfiction

208 pages, Paperback

Published June 4, 2024

Reviews

[Kayla · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated learning about these two black dads and their journey to building a family!

[fanboyriot · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I never quite understood why people want kids, it is genuinely so nice to see people who love them and fight for them like Terrell and Jarius did. There was so much love and appreciation for them in this book and it was so heartwarming.

Being the representation you want to see is something I hold dear to my heart. It is never something easy to do and I really appreciate how the author’s approached that topic.

Showing their story but also how difficult it was to get to there was written in such a lovely way. It was heartfelt and real.

Thank you to the authors and pridebooktours on Instagram for a copy of this in exchange for an honest review.

⚠️ Content Warnings:
Minor: Miscarriage, Racism, Homophobia, and Grief

[Jay DeMoir · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was truly a great dive into the life Jarius & Terrell have created for themselves. I really enjoyed it, learned some things, and then it also gave me stuff to consider and process. I just wish it was longer. But overall, a good read.

[Amorina Carlton · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone with a few alphabet identities, who has spent most of their life, except my time in #NOLA and #London, I related to this couple more than I expected. But even if you have very little in common, I really think you'll be able to gain helpful info!

Obviously, I'm not a gay man with 3 kids. I'm a genderqueer, pan-ace, mom of 1 in a 13 yr hetero-presenting marriage. During my freshman year of college, I struggled a lot with this as I served as a Sunday school teacher, dated what I thought was a very parent-friendly (closeted) boy, and battled what I'd been taught were very sinful feelings for my lesbian classmate, who was making her interest very known. So, many of the stories of this gay couple struggling in a place that is still very backward when it comes to sexuality, gender, and many other issues were very real and present to me. I continued to struggle for years.

Recently, my husband and I were looking to move homes because of increasing gun violence near our New Orleans home. I asked him very seriously if it was a good idea to buy a home in a state where the government doesn't believe in the rights of people in bodies like mine and our daughter's. Ultimately, we decided to take our passing privilege as an opportunity to stay and fight, but it's still a scary decision to make.

Decisions like these - the house-buying part - are big ones, and they're covered in the pages of this book, which is told by a pair of gay dads, but is very applicable to all married couples/lifetime romantic partnerships. They offer great advice, much of which my husband and I have also used in our 17 year relationship. But we still found valuable tips as well. Much like them, I feel a responsibility and passion for spreading the message to people like us on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum in the Deep South who are terrified - even though many places are improved. There are still so many places that are not safe. Children suffer and need to hear from those who have survived and even thrived.

This book is written in such a unique way. Each chapter has portions written by the couple together, then breakouts from each individual’s perspective. I’ve never personally seen this, and I enjoyed it. I received a lovely physical copy as a gift, but I also chose to use one of my very coveted Audible credits on the audiobook. I was excited to see that the authors read the book. Especially with nonfiction, it is my absolute favorite experience to hear the author(s) read me their words and let me experience them the way they intended, the way they meant them. It adds so much dimension and richness to the experience. So, if you’re an audiobook lover, I absolutely recommend that experience.

This is one of those books that I think everyone in a relationship, especially those who have children, would benefit from. Many people will want to think that they don’t relate to the Josephs because they’re not gay. But who you love doesn’t change love that drastically. We’re all people, and love is love. That’s what we’ve been trying to tell you all this time! And, I think this book is one of the best examples of that I’ve ever seen.

Content Warning: Pregnancy, Surrogacy, Infertility, Pregnancy Loss, Homophobia, Child Illness, Child Death, Relationship Issues

[rhizo · Rating 3 out of 5]

as someone who is a complete newbie to the couple, i really enjoyed learning about their lives through the dual POV reflections of Jarius and Terrel. reading about how gay and trans people shape intimate relationships and sustain relationship is one of my favorite things and this provided a perspective on family planning, religious/spiritual faith, and going against the traditional grain.

i was touched by the honesty in terms of how much they revealed of their struggles but even more touched by how much they both discussed that choosing to love each other was always their anchor, one that required outside help at times like therapy but ultimately that their commitment to each other was cornerstone.

i feel like so much modern gay and trans culture treats relationships as replaceable and thats always been something i struggled with so it was deeply assuring and resonant to read about other queer people who prioritize commitment while facing their "toxic" traits, confronting how their childhood trauma's or upbringings shaped their approaches to love and deeply wanted to build a family their way.

highly recommend for other queer folks curious about how different gay and trans relationship/family models look like. highly recommend for allies who are interested in knowing more about the BTS of same sex relationships.

highly recommend for anyone who likes to read, it was a quick read, full of salient but simple nuggets of advice.

((it was a delicious touch that a friend of mine edited the book, Amina Iro doing BIG TINNNNGSSS!))

[Brenda Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a great read! I loved the honesty and brutal truth of marriage. My favorite is how Terrell and Jarius grant each other space and grace, feel the feelings and come together. Queer life in southern states. Living your truth. Beautiful story.

[Nicholas Etrick · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and informative novel for members of the LGBTQ+ community. Very insightful on topics such as relationship dynamics (romantic/friendships/family), parenting (foster, surrogacy, etc.), business, etc. Highly recommend.