I just went through a pretty rough patch with a man I thought cared about me, where I was easily set aside when anything else interesting came up. (Huge red flag, I know now). I would justify this because I was so desperate to keep someone around.
Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy was a compassionate and educational reminder that a relationship should be about honoring the other person in action and rejoicing in their unique company. (I believe, by the way, that is true and applicable to both sides of the relationship.) While the title does sound a bit like it is about playing games, I decided to get it based on other reviews. I am glad I did.
First off, you should know that this book is strictly about handling neglectful treatment and the "break up" phase of a relationship only (which might be overlooked by the fact that the title itself is so long). This isn't about dating in general. For this, you will want to look elsewhere. For this I can initially recommend The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible for its wonderful insight into covering the difference between guy and bad guy behavior and indicators, and more importantly, how bad guy behavior can be misperceived at first and why it is initially attractive-although I am not finished with the book yet, this was well worth the price alone. Or, Why Men Love Bitches, to understand why you need to respect yourself (in a healthy way that is respectful to all) in order to be respected by him.
The beauty of this book is that it reminds you that, first and foremost, a man is attracted to you for the qualities that you had at the beginning of the relationship and all that you had going on then. Often, we begin to set aside things that were important, and this makes us lose ourselves (and part of the perceived value we were attracted to). This book reminds you that 1) you must, first and foremost, value and honor yourself by continuing the things that you had going on before you met him (of course, you may need to cut down on the time a bit-but you don't drop anything) and that 2) a man who is attracted to you will work to be in your space and have your attention-at the get go and continually. This doesn't relieve us from showing we appreciate his efforts as well-but it is not our job to be the ones putting in overtime to attract him. He liked us because he had to work for us. This is essentially why the book argues that you should discontinue contact if you are in a breakup or in the no-man's land of unreturned calls or affection. He has either decided to move on to his next target (player-and you dodged a bullet) or has lost the adventure of 'you'.
All that said, while it can sound like this is a book about games, the simple matter is that we, as women, do need to talk everything out, and this is not the way men work in a break up. This book helps you to handle the art of stepping back in a breakup with dignity, giving yourself (and him) the timeout you need to think clearly, and while in that timeout, re-evaluating if he was treating you properly even while you were dating. If he was, then you learn to reestablish more balance as you may have sacrificed in other areas and that could have overwhelmed him. If he wasn't, then you get tons of advice on why you have now made room for someone better in the next round.