WHY? Why did I read this? For some reason I had it on my Kindle for ages, but since reading the disaster that was Fifty Shades of Grey (book 1) I decided not to bother with the second one. Then I found myself suddenly left with nothing to read on my Kindle except this, so I went for it.
I just dislike everything about this book: the pathetic writing, the "plot" if you can call it that, Christian Grey (aka The Jackass), and Anastasia Steele (aka The Doormat). They shall henceforth be called as such. The book is so poorly written, it reads like fanfiction. Oh yeah, that's exactly what it is.
The Jackass is a real piece of work. Not only is his character completely unbelievable (he earns $100,000 every hour, has a personal trainer and a body of a god but eats bacon, sauce bernaise and macaroni and cheese every day, is a CEO but put in about 2 hours of actual work every day that is interrupted every minute by writing emails to control and surveil The Doormat at work) but he's not at all attractive. Boo bloody hoo, you had a hard childhood, that's not a blanket excuse to be a controlling, manipulative, chauvinistic asshole 24/7. I just hate this guy, he made my skin crawl.
Now on to The Doormat. I hated her even more. What a pathetic excuse of a character. The utter definition of a washcloth, a Doormat, stuck in an abusive relationship to the T, making excuses along the way for The Jackass to continue to manipulate and control her every move. Oh, Jackass doesn't want to let me go to work today, nor let me drive my own car, not let me have healthy relationships with my dear friends who I have known for years - he must just love me! Actually, let me bend over backwards for him to accomodate his unhealthy controlling demands on me, because he's so good in bed. Oh and yes, if my employee came to work 15 minutes late, then spent the next hour sexting to her bf on work time instead of actually working, I'd fire her ass! No, that doesn't make me a mean boss, that means I'm part of the real world where people actually work when they get paid for it. At the end, the Doormat's best friend Kate find the completely effed-up "contract" between The Doormat and The Jackass and is rightly worried about her, but then goes on to actually apologize for interfering. GREAT MESSAGE, AUTHOR! I guess she ascribes to the "keep it quiet" school of practice when it comes to psychological domestic abuse.
I guess many readers read this solely for the sex scenes, because let's face it, this is porn. But my god, I have never read such boring and repetitive sex scenes in an erotic novel. For someone who is supposed to enjoy such kinky and amazing sex, every sex scene basically read the same! Let's just say, probably 80-90% of the sex is missionary, in bed. WOW, REVOLUTIONARY! I'm on the edge of my seat here!! I think this book is meant to appeal to desperate housewives or maybe virgins who probably think this is the height of sexual deviation. Oh fear not, they even have sex once - IN THE SHOWER! And allude to having sex in the car, but don't actually do it. Basically, the sex scenes are extremely un-spectacular and repetitive, yet The Doormat just can't seem to get enough of this boring sex and is constantly "wet" and ready for it. It just really turned me off, this image of a constantly aroused woman, who just is at the service of a very controlling and manipulative partner, who orgasms after about 3 minutes of boring or non-existant foreplay. It's just not sexy because it's 100% unrealistic, there was no part of me that could put myself in the shoes of The Doormat, which to me is an important element of any erotic novel. We want to be in her shoes, want to have this great lover - but in The Doormat's case, I wanted to just punch them both in the face.
I hated this book. I really did. Ugh! I also hate the fact that it is so popular, and that I read it. Again! Like they say, Fool me once - shame on you, fool me twice - shame on me. Just a horribly written book with an extremely negative portrayal of sexuality, womanhood, and relationships all around.