It's a blague. Musical diva Ilona is carrying on a flirty compromising chat with her mentor in her suite and we see her adoring beau, a young twitty composer outside her door in a Riviera villa, gasping at what he hears. "Control yourself!" she insists. "What are you doing?" Mentor soon exclaims, "How round it is..how smooth, how velvety--" Indeed, what is her companion doing...? "Don't bite," Ilona says in a quivering voice.
The shocked composer threatens to kill someone -- or tear up his music for their forthcoming operetta. He thought Ilona was a Madonna ! Given this crisis, the book writer thinks quickly. Why Ilona and her many-fingered friend were just rehearsing a scene, don't you understand, and he secretly sets to work writing one that is performed in Act 3, using the words we've just heard. Can you guess how he handles "round, smooth, velvety" and "don't bite" ? (And what mustn't he bite...?)
Life is theatre; reality becomes illusion while illusion becomes reality. We can always manipulate the truth, and anyway, does any of it really matter? Ferenc Molnar's famous Hungarian play, "Spiel im Schloss," has a catchy title from "Hamlet" in the PG Wodehouse adaptation. First produced on Bwy in 1926, it ran almost a year and is revived constantly. It's so flimsy that a mistral could blow it
away. Audiences love it. A production demands top actors and must exude ton, high ton or it will shatter like the champagne glass the despairing composer hurls against the wall.
The heroic librettist, who supplied the Happy Ending, reminds Ilona: "There are very few things in this world that are round, smooth, velvety -- and respectable."