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Ti regalo la luna
Pack up the Moon
Dopo la morte della moglie, Joshua Park si è accorto di essere precipitato in una solitudine totalizzante: in quanto scienziato, lavora principalmente da solo. E la timidezza di cui ha sempre sofferto ha reso negli anni la sua cerchia di amici molto ristretta.
Lauren era la donna della sua vita, l’unica che lo conoscesse e fosse in grado di trascinarlo fuori dal suo guscio. Così perfetta da aver previsto che senza di lei Joshua si sarebbe chiuso in sé stesso.
Per questo, prima di morire ha escogitato un piano per fargli superare il dolore, la rabbia e la negazione, indirizzandogli dodici lettere. Dodici lettere per accompagnare Joshua nel primo anno senza di lei, in un percorso straziante ma bellissimo e a volte persino divertente. Dodici lettere per ritrovare la gioia. Dodici lettere per imparare la lezione più preziosa di tutte: la strada per la felicità non segue mai una linea retta.
Un romanzo commovente sul potere dell’amore e sul coraggio di ricominciare
Dopo la morte della moglie, Joshua Park si è accorto di essere precipitato in una solitudine totalizzante: in quanto scienziato, lavora principalmente da solo. E la timidezza di cui ha sempre sofferto ha reso negli anni la sua cerchia di amici molto ristretta.
Lauren era la donna della sua vita, l’unica che lo conoscesse e fosse in grado di trascinarlo fuori dal suo guscio. Così perfetta da aver previsto che senza di lei Joshua si sarebbe chiuso in sé stesso.
Per questo, prima di morire ha escogitato un piano per fargli superare il dolore, la rabbia e la negazione, indirizzandogli dodici lettere. Dodici lettere per accompagnare Joshua nel primo anno senza di lei, in un percorso straziante ma bellissimo e a volte persino divertente. Dodici lettere per ritrovare la gioia. Dodici lettere per imparare la lezione più preziosa di tutte: la strada per la felicità non segue mai una linea retta.
Un romanzo commovente sul potere dell’amore e sul coraggio di ricominciare
492 pages, Kindle Edition
First published June 8, 2021
3714 people are currently reading
116599 people want to read
About the author
Kristan Higgins
65 books13k followersKristan Higgins is the New York Times, USA TODAY and Publishers Weekly bestselling author of more than twenty novels, which have been translated into more than two dozen languages and have sold millions of copies worldwide. If you want to receive a free short story and be notified when Kristan releases a new book, sign up at kristanhiggins.com.
Kristan enjoys gardening, mixology, the National Parks and complimenting strangers on their children. The mother of two entertaining and wonderful humans, and the grandmother of one perfect child, Kristan lives in Connecticut with her heroic firefighter husband, cuddly dog and indifferent cat.
Kristan enjoys gardening, mixology, the National Parks and complimenting strangers on their children. The mother of two entertaining and wonderful humans, and the grandmother of one perfect child, Kristan lives in Connecticut with her heroic firefighter husband, cuddly dog and indifferent cat.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 8,148 reviews
November 10, 2022
The last 30 pages were good ❤️
August 23, 2021
SO FREAKING SAD!
Pack Up the Moon is an emotional love story about a woman dying of a terminal illness. This is a story about grief, love, loss, acceptance, and embracing life.
Laura, a 26-year-old space designer, receives the devastating news that she has a terminal illness. Newly married to the love of her life, she is determined to make the most of her final years. To help her husband, Joshua, through the grieving process, she writes letters to him. He will receive one letter per month with a task for Joshua to complete to help him cope.
Through the eyes of Laura, the reader experiences how she deals with the reality that she is dying. She goes through her own grieving process as she faces a life lived too short. At the same time, the reader experiences loss through Joshua’s perspective.
This is not an easy book to read. To say it is emotional is an understatement. I started crying at the 7% mark and continued to cry frequently throughout. There were moments when I was ugly crying, and others when I was crying tears of joy. Thankfully, a lovely, eccentric cast of supporting characters add some much-needed humor, although some of them made me cry too!
Pack Up the Moon is a touching, heartfelt read. It is a sad story with some happy moments. The characters make it worthwhile to read. I saved it for when I needed a good cry, and it got the job done! If you plan on reading this, have tissues handy!
Thank you to Elisha Katz from Berkley for sending me a gifted copy of this book.
Pack Up the Moon is an emotional love story about a woman dying of a terminal illness. This is a story about grief, love, loss, acceptance, and embracing life.
Laura, a 26-year-old space designer, receives the devastating news that she has a terminal illness. Newly married to the love of her life, she is determined to make the most of her final years. To help her husband, Joshua, through the grieving process, she writes letters to him. He will receive one letter per month with a task for Joshua to complete to help him cope.
Through the eyes of Laura, the reader experiences how she deals with the reality that she is dying. She goes through her own grieving process as she faces a life lived too short. At the same time, the reader experiences loss through Joshua’s perspective.
This is not an easy book to read. To say it is emotional is an understatement. I started crying at the 7% mark and continued to cry frequently throughout. There were moments when I was ugly crying, and others when I was crying tears of joy. Thankfully, a lovely, eccentric cast of supporting characters add some much-needed humor, although some of them made me cry too!
Pack Up the Moon is a touching, heartfelt read. It is a sad story with some happy moments. The characters make it worthwhile to read. I saved it for when I needed a good cry, and it got the job done! If you plan on reading this, have tissues handy!
Thank you to Elisha Katz from Berkley for sending me a gifted copy of this book.
August 16, 2021
I am one of the biggest fans of Ms. Higgins ! I think I might have read more than 7 books of her lately. As soon as I saw her new book’s cover on the gallery, without reading the blurb, I clicked the request button several times as like I do when I get over excited about some new book alert!
But when I thankfully got the arc, I realized this book is about death, moving on, handling grief, pain, loss, sadness. I read so many books with similar theme. P. S. I. Love you was one of the most effective and bittersweet second chance romance makes you drawn at your own tear torrent.
So many authors used the same plot line: a person who finds out he or she has terminal disease and she/he decides to leave letters for her/ his loved ones to help them move on with their lives, handling their grief, suffer, sadness. This plot line is pure realistic, real tear jerker and heart stabbing.
Kristan Higgins can directly talk with our hearts with her lyrical words and she can write such emotional but also feel good, sweet , motivational romances.
But this book’s plot line was not unique, it already has so many resemblances with the books which are focused on the same subject. Even though it has more promising, hopeful conclusion, most parts of it book is dark, depressing, frustrating making you feel like a dark cloud follows you throughout your full reading journey. Reading a bittersweet, tearful, heartbreaking story after you’re getting through one of the most challenging, exhausting year of your life is not great choice for your own mental state.
Because of the bad timing, I had so hard time to enjoy this novel. Maybe it will be like a bad breakup speech but I’m still telling: it’s not the book, it’s me! I was not in the mood to read something incredibly sad! That doesn’t mean the novel is badly written or the characters are unlikable.
It was still a great ugly crier, earth shattering, soul crushing story but it doesn’t bring something different or original approach to the grief, suffer or death. You may guess how the story will go and how it will be concluded at the end from the beginning.
So I’m giving my three sad, painful, tearful, second chances stars!
I’m still a great fan of the author but I hope next time she sticks to her usual feel good, sweet romcom genre. I don’t want to cry anymore. Life is already tough enough to deal with additional sadness and heartbreaks.
Special thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this amazing digital reviewer copy with me in exchange my honest opinions.
But when I thankfully got the arc, I realized this book is about death, moving on, handling grief, pain, loss, sadness. I read so many books with similar theme. P. S. I. Love you was one of the most effective and bittersweet second chance romance makes you drawn at your own tear torrent.
So many authors used the same plot line: a person who finds out he or she has terminal disease and she/he decides to leave letters for her/ his loved ones to help them move on with their lives, handling their grief, suffer, sadness. This plot line is pure realistic, real tear jerker and heart stabbing.
Kristan Higgins can directly talk with our hearts with her lyrical words and she can write such emotional but also feel good, sweet , motivational romances.
But this book’s plot line was not unique, it already has so many resemblances with the books which are focused on the same subject. Even though it has more promising, hopeful conclusion, most parts of it book is dark, depressing, frustrating making you feel like a dark cloud follows you throughout your full reading journey. Reading a bittersweet, tearful, heartbreaking story after you’re getting through one of the most challenging, exhausting year of your life is not great choice for your own mental state.
Because of the bad timing, I had so hard time to enjoy this novel. Maybe it will be like a bad breakup speech but I’m still telling: it’s not the book, it’s me! I was not in the mood to read something incredibly sad! That doesn’t mean the novel is badly written or the characters are unlikable.
It was still a great ugly crier, earth shattering, soul crushing story but it doesn’t bring something different or original approach to the grief, suffer or death. You may guess how the story will go and how it will be concluded at the end from the beginning.
So I’m giving my three sad, painful, tearful, second chances stars!
I’m still a great fan of the author but I hope next time she sticks to her usual feel good, sweet romcom genre. I don’t want to cry anymore. Life is already tough enough to deal with additional sadness and heartbreaks.
Special thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this amazing digital reviewer copy with me in exchange my honest opinions.
June 13, 2021
Five emotional heart-wrenching stars ⭐️ ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
A glimpse of what true love is supposed to look like.❤️
Josh and Lauren are a young couple over the moon in love. They have their whole lives ahead of them. Until Lauren receives devastating news. She has a terminal condition known as IPF (idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis).
Lauren leaves her husband the best gift she can. Letters from her heart to help him grieve, cope, and move forward. Each letter is doled out at the beginning of the month for an entire year following her passing. Each letter contains words of encouragement to help Josh step out and learn to live and perhaps love once again.
This was one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever read.
I fell In love with Lauren and how brave she was facing her own death but always focused on helping her husband through his grief. And Josh… well he stole my heart completely. Do men like this exist? The magnitude of his love for Lauren brought me to tears. Everyone deserves a Josh in their lives.
I have read a few books recently that had medical themes. Both left me cold in the lack of authenticity. As an RN I have a hard time letting go of these details.
Kristan Higgins did her homework.
I was so impressed by her attention to detail as she described Lauren’s disease and progression. As well as Lauren’s reaction to having a terminal condition at such a young age. Thank you, Kristan!
A buddy read with Susanne that left us both in a puddle of tears.
Posted to: https://books-are-a-girls-best-friend...
Thank you to Berkley Publishing Group, via NetGalley.
A glimpse of what true love is supposed to look like.❤️
Josh and Lauren are a young couple over the moon in love. They have their whole lives ahead of them. Until Lauren receives devastating news. She has a terminal condition known as IPF (idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis).
Lauren leaves her husband the best gift she can. Letters from her heart to help him grieve, cope, and move forward. Each letter is doled out at the beginning of the month for an entire year following her passing. Each letter contains words of encouragement to help Josh step out and learn to live and perhaps love once again.
This was one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever read.
I fell In love with Lauren and how brave she was facing her own death but always focused on helping her husband through his grief. And Josh… well he stole my heart completely. Do men like this exist? The magnitude of his love for Lauren brought me to tears. Everyone deserves a Josh in their lives.
I have read a few books recently that had medical themes. Both left me cold in the lack of authenticity. As an RN I have a hard time letting go of these details.
Kristan Higgins did her homework.
I was so impressed by her attention to detail as she described Lauren’s disease and progression. As well as Lauren’s reaction to having a terminal condition at such a young age. Thank you, Kristan!
A buddy read with Susanne that left us both in a puddle of tears.
Posted to: https://books-are-a-girls-best-friend...
Thank you to Berkley Publishing Group, via NetGalley.
April 13, 2022
This story GUTTED me.
I cried from the start, cried throughout the book, but definitely bawled my eyes out in the last 10%. Like hardcore sobbed that I had to remember to breathe through my mouth because my nose was so clogged.
Obviously read the synopsis and knew it was going to be sad, but there’s nothing quite like being in the thick of the sadness. I just felt soooo many emotions for Joshua, and living through Lauren’s chapters definitely hurt.
You can see how much they just loved each other, and I think knowing that, seeing that connection between them, hurt extra hard. LIKE JOSHUA LOOOOOVED HER SO MUCH!!!! And to think that they were going to be separated and to see Joshua grieve month after month and read her letters?!?!? My god, ripped my heart out.
There is a ton of healing and growth and strength and grief here, and it took me for a ride. There were some parts where I felt a lull, but man, does it pick right back up and make you sob.
I think I only had dry eyes for one chapter or something. Or maybe half a chapter. There was something for me to cry over in every single one.
I love Josh, I love Lauren, I love their family. The connections, Josh’s friendship, ALL OF IT. It makes me wanna cry even as I write this review.
There is a HEA, but for most of the book, I had theories on how the HEA was going to unfold and I didn’t like it at all.
Was I proven wrong at the end? Very much so, because the route that I thought this book was going to take made me so mad and sad at the same time so I’m happy it didn’t go there.
BUUUUUT, the ending? A part of me is happy with the epilogue, but a part of me also would have been just as happy without it.
I cried from the start, cried throughout the book, but definitely bawled my eyes out in the last 10%. Like hardcore sobbed that I had to remember to breathe through my mouth because my nose was so clogged.
Obviously read the synopsis and knew it was going to be sad, but there’s nothing quite like being in the thick of the sadness. I just felt soooo many emotions for Joshua, and living through Lauren’s chapters definitely hurt.
You can see how much they just loved each other, and I think knowing that, seeing that connection between them, hurt extra hard. LIKE JOSHUA LOOOOOVED HER SO MUCH!!!! And to think that they were going to be separated and to see Joshua grieve month after month and read her letters?!?!? My god, ripped my heart out.
There is a ton of healing and growth and strength and grief here, and it took me for a ride. There were some parts where I felt a lull, but man, does it pick right back up and make you sob.
I think I only had dry eyes for one chapter or something. Or maybe half a chapter. There was something for me to cry over in every single one.
I love Josh, I love Lauren, I love their family. The connections, Josh’s friendship, ALL OF IT. It makes me wanna cry even as I write this review.
There is a HEA, but for most of the book, I had theories on how the HEA was going to unfold and I didn’t like it at all.
Was I proven wrong at the end? Very much so, because the route that I thought this book was going to take made me so mad and sad at the same time so I’m happy it didn’t go there.
BUUUUUT, the ending? A part of me is happy with the epilogue, but a part of me also would have been just as happy without it.
September 10, 2021
I'm so used to reading books by Kristan Higgins that leave me with a smile on my face. Yes, some can elicit tears but they are always hopeful. So I was a little shocked to read the blurb of this one. We are told the main character dies!!
Was I going to read it? Yes, absolutely.
Was it going to break my heart? Probably, but I wouldn't pass up the opportunity.
This is the story of Lauren and Josh. A young couple who is happily married. They are lucky, they get along in a fantastic way. Then, Lauren's asthma keeps on making her feel tired and short of breath. She has multiple ER visits and hospital admissions for pneumonia. Then she is sent to the pulmonologist and finally, an accurate diagnosis is made. Lauren has IPF, a terminal disease.
Joshua's world collapses. Despite him being a prodigy in his career, he can't help Lauren. He is completely useless and powerless and losing her, he does. Yet, Lauren is helping him deal with her loss from the GB (great beyond). She left behind a letter for each month of the first year she's gone to help Joshua move on. The tasks are not easy for him to do but in a way they make him move forward despite the pain.
There is no doubt that Kristan Higgins is my favorite author for a reason. Pack Up the Moon is a well-written novel that deals with grief in an honest way. I couldn't feel sadder for Joshua and his heartbreak. Lauren was a little too good for her own good but I will let that go. I did love the secondary characters, Lauren's letters to her dad, the humorous parts of the story, and I thought the epilogue was just what the novel needed.
Thank you KH for making sure my tear ducts are in working order!
Cliffhanger: No
5/5 Fangs
A complimentary copy was provided by Berkley via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
MrsLeif's Two Fangs About It | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram
Was I going to read it? Yes, absolutely.
Was it going to break my heart? Probably, but I wouldn't pass up the opportunity.
This is the story of Lauren and Josh. A young couple who is happily married. They are lucky, they get along in a fantastic way. Then, Lauren's asthma keeps on making her feel tired and short of breath. She has multiple ER visits and hospital admissions for pneumonia. Then she is sent to the pulmonologist and finally, an accurate diagnosis is made. Lauren has IPF, a terminal disease.
Joshua's world collapses. Despite him being a prodigy in his career, he can't help Lauren. He is completely useless and powerless and losing her, he does. Yet, Lauren is helping him deal with her loss from the GB (great beyond). She left behind a letter for each month of the first year she's gone to help Joshua move on. The tasks are not easy for him to do but in a way they make him move forward despite the pain.
There is no doubt that Kristan Higgins is my favorite author for a reason. Pack Up the Moon is a well-written novel that deals with grief in an honest way. I couldn't feel sadder for Joshua and his heartbreak. Lauren was a little too good for her own good but I will let that go. I did love the secondary characters, Lauren's letters to her dad, the humorous parts of the story, and I thought the epilogue was just what the novel needed.
Thank you KH for making sure my tear ducts are in working order!
Cliffhanger: No
5/5 Fangs
A complimentary copy was provided by Berkley via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
MrsLeif's Two Fangs About It | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram
June 13, 2021
Review posted on blog: https://books-are-a-girls-best-friend...
Hankies Needed!
Just Call Me a Cry Baby, ‘Cuz this Book Made Me Cry Big Fat Huge Tears.
Lauren and Josh are happily married. Perfect for each other. If there actually is such a thing.
Married for a short time when they find out that Lauren has a terminal illness. Though everything about their lives change significantly, their love for each other never waivers.
When Lauren passes, she leaves Josh letters to help him move forward, one for every month the first year she’s gone.
Tears streamed down my face one minute, smiling and then well, laughing the next! Thank you Radley for providing much-needed comic relief!
Somehow, Kristan Higgins is able to accomplish this deftly and I ate it up.
The relationship between Lauren and Josh seemed somewhat unreal at times, as their love for each other was incredible: solid, whole, and beautiful.
A tearjerker that left me both completely bereft and hopeful. Kristan Higgins: thank you for always managing to deliver and then some.
A fabulous buddy read with Kaceey!
Thank you to Elisha at Berkley Publishing via NetGalley for the arc.
Published on Goodreads, Twitter, and Instagram.
Hankies Needed!
Just Call Me a Cry Baby, ‘Cuz this Book Made Me Cry Big Fat Huge Tears.
Lauren and Josh are happily married. Perfect for each other. If there actually is such a thing.
Married for a short time when they find out that Lauren has a terminal illness. Though everything about their lives change significantly, their love for each other never waivers.
When Lauren passes, she leaves Josh letters to help him move forward, one for every month the first year she’s gone.
Tears streamed down my face one minute, smiling and then well, laughing the next! Thank you Radley for providing much-needed comic relief!
Somehow, Kristan Higgins is able to accomplish this deftly and I ate it up.
The relationship between Lauren and Josh seemed somewhat unreal at times, as their love for each other was incredible: solid, whole, and beautiful.
A tearjerker that left me both completely bereft and hopeful. Kristan Higgins: thank you for always managing to deliver and then some.
A fabulous buddy read with Kaceey!
Thank you to Elisha at Berkley Publishing via NetGalley for the arc.
Published on Goodreads, Twitter, and Instagram.
July 9, 2021
Did not finish. I normally love this author’s books but this was an outlier. First of all, it is much too similar to PS I Love You. The dying spouse leaves letters for her husband that are given to him after her death. We’ve read this story before! Second, the story line is predictable ~ it’s not much fun to read a book when you’ve figured out its plot in the first chapter. Third, the depiction of perfect love and perfect characters is a turn-off to anyone that’s been invested in a relationship. The beauty of being human is our lack of perfection, and the ups and downs this creates in our interactions with those we love. Finally, a chronic, terminal disease is not pretty or sexy…most IPF patients are not waiting naked for their husbands to have hot sex a week before they die of a devastating illness that makes it impossible to breathe. I had a close friend die of a terminal illness, and this was not what her last week of life was like. It’s such a shame because I was looking forward to this book, but it certainly rubbed me the wrong way. It just felt quite disrespectful to patients and caregivers in real life struggling with chronic and terminal illnesses.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 10, 2021
Pack Up the Moon was devastating, but also incredibly moving.
Lauren is a thriving professional and newlywed in her late 20s when she is diagnosed with a terminal illness. She and her husband Josh are forced to face a future much different than the life they envisioned together.
Josh can’t imagine a life without Lauren and unbeknownst to him, in her final months, Lauren was thinking of his future too — She leaves one letter a month for Josh, to help him survive his first year alone as a widow. Each letter has a task designed to encourage Josh to continue moving forward. Some are simple, others require more thought and effort.
I liked so many things about Josh and Lauren, as people, and together as a couple — They felt real. While Pack Up the Moon was crushing at many parts, there were also several moments of humor throughout the story. I became worried toward the end, dreading that things would conclude in an outcome I did not want, but fortunately, my fear wasn’t realized and I ultimately appreciated the story’s ending.
I listened to the audiobook and loved it. Dion Graham and Xe Sands are excellent narrators — Highly recommend.
Lauren is a thriving professional and newlywed in her late 20s when she is diagnosed with a terminal illness. She and her husband Josh are forced to face a future much different than the life they envisioned together.
Josh can’t imagine a life without Lauren and unbeknownst to him, in her final months, Lauren was thinking of his future too — She leaves one letter a month for Josh, to help him survive his first year alone as a widow. Each letter has a task designed to encourage Josh to continue moving forward. Some are simple, others require more thought and effort.
I liked so many things about Josh and Lauren, as people, and together as a couple — They felt real. While Pack Up the Moon was crushing at many parts, there were also several moments of humor throughout the story. I became worried toward the end, dreading that things would conclude in an outcome I did not want, but fortunately, my fear wasn’t realized and I ultimately appreciated the story’s ending.
I listened to the audiobook and loved it. Dion Graham and Xe Sands are excellent narrators — Highly recommend.
September 4, 2022
i saw vlogs of people crying over this book and what a coincidence, this book bored me to tearss
November 21, 2022
Do you read sad books? Do you need a good cry? Read this book immediately.
Pack Up The Moon follows Joshua, a widower grieving during the first year of his wife’s passing, and retroactive chapters of Lauren, his wife. She wrote letters for him to open and gave him tasks to help him mourn during that first year. Joshua felt so totally lost when his wife died. She was his world, his best friend, his teacher. Reading about his grief pretty much destroyed me. And reading Lauren’s chapters did too. There are so many amazing supporting characters in this novel and I wanted to transport myself into the pages and give everyone a hug. Kristan’s writing absolutely blew me away.
Joshua’s journey is not easy. He has fits of rage, unending sadness, moments of total isolation. But Lauren knew what he would need. Those tasks she sent him on put his life on a different trajectory. They brought him his best friend. They brought him a new a hobby. They helped him conquer his fears. And they helped him find love again. I feel like I went through all the stages of grief with Josh and the healing towards the end was so comforting.
My only complain was that it did drag a little bit in the middle.
This book has
🌙 grief and loss
🌙 autism spectrum disorder rep
🌙 supportive family and friend relationships
🌙 so much pain that I lost count of how many times I cried
Pack Up The Moon follows Joshua, a widower grieving during the first year of his wife’s passing, and retroactive chapters of Lauren, his wife. She wrote letters for him to open and gave him tasks to help him mourn during that first year. Joshua felt so totally lost when his wife died. She was his world, his best friend, his teacher. Reading about his grief pretty much destroyed me. And reading Lauren’s chapters did too. There are so many amazing supporting characters in this novel and I wanted to transport myself into the pages and give everyone a hug. Kristan’s writing absolutely blew me away.
Joshua’s journey is not easy. He has fits of rage, unending sadness, moments of total isolation. But Lauren knew what he would need. Those tasks she sent him on put his life on a different trajectory. They brought him his best friend. They brought him a new a hobby. They helped him conquer his fears. And they helped him find love again. I feel like I went through all the stages of grief with Josh and the healing towards the end was so comforting.
My only complain was that it did drag a little bit in the middle.
This book has
🌙 grief and loss
🌙 autism spectrum disorder rep
🌙 supportive family and friend relationships
🌙 so much pain that I lost count of how many times I cried
May 29, 2021
This book wrecked me. Oh, to have a love like that. So hard to read but an amazing experience.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am not sure what prompted this story but the thing that got me the most was the depth of love. Yes, we read about love in many forms and fashion in books today. This one though, this is all consuming. Powerful, emotional, and soul wrenching. I loved it and hated it too. I was afraid to read it because I knew it was going to be a tough story to get through. I cannot imagine trying to even write something like this.
I can go on and on with my thoughts on this book. It truly touched my soul and one of my thoughts as I closed the book was “Oh, to have a love like that!” But the more I thought about it, I do have a love like that… one that I need to get back to again. What an amazing reminder to find and rekindle that early love and remember why we fell in the first place. We just need to nurture it more, like they did.
Higgans crafted not a novel, but an amazing experience. One I will not forget. Keep a new box of tissues with you while reading this one.
* copy received for review consideration
* full review - https://amidlifewife.com/pack-up-the-...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am not sure what prompted this story but the thing that got me the most was the depth of love. Yes, we read about love in many forms and fashion in books today. This one though, this is all consuming. Powerful, emotional, and soul wrenching. I loved it and hated it too. I was afraid to read it because I knew it was going to be a tough story to get through. I cannot imagine trying to even write something like this.
I can go on and on with my thoughts on this book. It truly touched my soul and one of my thoughts as I closed the book was “Oh, to have a love like that!” But the more I thought about it, I do have a love like that… one that I need to get back to again. What an amazing reminder to find and rekindle that early love and remember why we fell in the first place. We just need to nurture it more, like they did.
Higgans crafted not a novel, but an amazing experience. One I will not forget. Keep a new box of tissues with you while reading this one.
* copy received for review consideration
* full review - https://amidlifewife.com/pack-up-the-...
September 8, 2021
Get ready to sob your heart out. A richly emotional and deeply satisfying novel. Great women’s fiction.
December 14, 2020
I haven’t cried that hard reading a book in a long time. This book will stay with me for awhile.
July 5, 2021
At the height of her life, Lauren Park was diagnosed with a terminal illness called IPF (idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis). She’s married to Joshua, the love of her life, a man who loves her just as deeply. While she’s devastated with her prognosis, she’s more concerned about leaving Josh alone. He’s focused everything around her and Lauren is worried he won’t do well on his own. So, she decides that she’ll reach out from the “great beyond” by leaving him letters, each with a request that will help shift him out of his stages of grief, delivered over the course of the year following her death.
I don’t even know how to express the range of emotions I experienced during Josh’s journey from the depth of despair to someplace lighter. It’s a beautiful, moving story told in such a way that I could never catch my breath. Lauren narrates her story going backwards in time. Josh shares his going forward from Lauren’s funeral. The structure is beyond brilliant for its timing and pacing, both of them providing context at just the right moments, all the while capturing the essence of grief in its unfiltered and raw form. I found myself identifying with Josh in various moments and gaining insights from Lauren as she faced her mortality.
There’s a particular point in the story where I cried the ugly tears but more often I was filled with the hope and anticipation of the promise of Lauren’s next letter. The narrators performances were beyond outstanding as they became Josh and Lauren, so much so that I was convinced they were the characters. You should listen to the book if the audiobook is an available option. I was unprepared to love this story knowing that it was focused on death and grief; that alone makes it exceptional. I’ll never forget it, Lauren or Josh. The ending left me in a wonderful space, which lived up to that initial promise of hope and light.
Posted on Blue Mood Café
(Thanks to Recorded Books for my complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.)
I don’t even know how to express the range of emotions I experienced during Josh’s journey from the depth of despair to someplace lighter. It’s a beautiful, moving story told in such a way that I could never catch my breath. Lauren narrates her story going backwards in time. Josh shares his going forward from Lauren’s funeral. The structure is beyond brilliant for its timing and pacing, both of them providing context at just the right moments, all the while capturing the essence of grief in its unfiltered and raw form. I found myself identifying with Josh in various moments and gaining insights from Lauren as she faced her mortality.
There’s a particular point in the story where I cried the ugly tears but more often I was filled with the hope and anticipation of the promise of Lauren’s next letter. The narrators performances were beyond outstanding as they became Josh and Lauren, so much so that I was convinced they were the characters. You should listen to the book if the audiobook is an available option. I was unprepared to love this story knowing that it was focused on death and grief; that alone makes it exceptional. I’ll never forget it, Lauren or Josh. The ending left me in a wonderful space, which lived up to that initial promise of hope and light.
Posted on Blue Mood Café
(Thanks to Recorded Books for my complimentary copy. All opinions are my own.)
June 13, 2021
The few KH books I have read so far have been enjoyable. This one seemed to deviate from her typical style and fell short for me. I do not have an issue with the subject of death/dying or the premise of this book. In fact, I don't mind a tear-jerker if it is thought-provoking, moving, or the characters evolve through tragedy. I also have a weakness for epistolary style novels and had high hopes this would not disappoint like P.S. I Love You. Sadly, this was probably a bigger letdown due to my expectations and anticipation for the release.
What really rankled was the story arc. The ENTIRE BOOK is told in two POVs ... the husband Josh and the dead wife, Lauren. Josh is moving forward in time after Lauren's death. Lauren is going back in the timeline as we read letters she has written to her dead father. All correspondence to/from dead people was tedious, repetitive and patronizing. So were the descriptions of Lauren's medical treatment and their lives together.
There were a few laugh out loud moments and I am so glad the author wove in so much cultural diversity. She also respectfully and accurately crafted Josh's character as an adult male with ASD. However, outside of that, practically every character was flawless and Lauren and her father should be canonized. I actually felt bad for Lauren's best friend Sarah (she gets dissed throughout the book, but reliably and consistently delivers all the letters and looks out for Josh regularly).
Lauren's perspective:
"... someday, maybe, Sarah would be holding Josh’s hand. That she would be his wife. It would be good to know that Josh had a lovely, caring, smart woman as his second wife . . . someone who had known her and would understand that he would always love Lauren just a teeny bit more."
Josh's perspective:
"He’d stab Sarah through the heart right this minute if it could make his wife come back."
Yikes! Mine is definitely not a popular opinion as this just landed all wrong for me. There is an epilogue set 3 years on, but it does very little to redeem this story. I wasn't a fan of the Audible narration either; it really contributed to my lack of enjoyment.
What really rankled was the story arc. The ENTIRE BOOK is told in two POVs ... the husband Josh and the dead wife, Lauren. Josh is moving forward in time after Lauren's death. Lauren is going back in the timeline as we read letters she has written to her dead father. All correspondence to/from dead people was tedious, repetitive and patronizing. So were the descriptions of Lauren's medical treatment and their lives together.
There were a few laugh out loud moments and I am so glad the author wove in so much cultural diversity. She also respectfully and accurately crafted Josh's character as an adult male with ASD. However, outside of that, practically every character was flawless and Lauren and her father should be canonized. I actually felt bad for Lauren's best friend Sarah (she gets dissed throughout the book, but reliably and consistently delivers all the letters and looks out for Josh regularly).
Lauren's perspective:
"... someday, maybe, Sarah would be holding Josh’s hand. That she would be his wife. It would be good to know that Josh had a lovely, caring, smart woman as his second wife . . . someone who had known her and would understand that he would always love Lauren just a teeny bit more."
Josh's perspective:
"He’d stab Sarah through the heart right this minute if it could make his wife come back."
Yikes! Mine is definitely not a popular opinion as this just landed all wrong for me. There is an epilogue set 3 years on, but it does very little to redeem this story. I wasn't a fan of the Audible narration either; it really contributed to my lack of enjoyment.
June 28, 2021
Hitting the 80% mark, I hadn't shed a tear and I was congratulating myself thinking, "well, I will definitely get through it without the "sobfest""! Was I wrong?! ... indeed, I was - sitting in bed at 11.30 last night (hubby rolling his eyes at me), the tears rolled down my cheeks but they were sort of happy tears too and I was glad it ended up the way it did and the ending was "sort of" perfect (not for some, obviously) ... after all we had gone through!
JOSH
LAUREN
Why not five stars? Not really sure ... was Lauren a little bit too perfect? I feel bad saying that but she sort of was ... plus, it really is a little bit depressing - there are fun moments and happy moments but not all the time (I guess that is real life but sometimes you just don't want to read about it)!
I loved the extended family and secondary characters, especially Radley (I want him to be my BFF).
I have read almost all of the books that Ms. Higgin's has written and this was definitely a little deviation from her usual modus operandi ... not her usual light-hearted read.
JOSH
LAUREN
Why not five stars? Not really sure ... was Lauren a little bit too perfect? I feel bad saying that but she sort of was ... plus, it really is a little bit depressing - there are fun moments and happy moments but not all the time (I guess that is real life but sometimes you just don't want to read about it)!
I loved the extended family and secondary characters, especially Radley (I want him to be my BFF).
I have read almost all of the books that Ms. Higgin's has written and this was definitely a little deviation from her usual modus operandi ... not her usual light-hearted read.
August 26, 2021
Audiobook…narrated by Dion Graham, Xe Sands
….13 hours and 37 minutes
The slow drawn-out-journey to death—had a few redeeming qualities—
….Josh put his fist into the plaster wall 3 times—anger revealed against his normal character.
…. Josh as a beginner in kung fu class. ( funny scene)
….Lauren surfing and hang-gliding. 🏄🏻🪂
….a few memories in Hawaii 🐚🎋🌴
…. fact is dying at age 26 is much too young! 😡
Overall….”Pack Up the Moon” is terminally sad! 😞
….13 hours and 37 minutes
The slow drawn-out-journey to death—had a few redeeming qualities—
….Josh put his fist into the plaster wall 3 times—anger revealed against his normal character.
…. Josh as a beginner in kung fu class. ( funny scene)
….Lauren surfing and hang-gliding. 🏄🏻🪂
….a few memories in Hawaii 🐚🎋🌴
…. fact is dying at age 26 is much too young! 😡
Overall….”Pack Up the Moon” is terminally sad! 😞
June 15, 2021
This book just wasn’t for me, and several things just irritated me. Other than just being boring it wasn’t a well executed story about loss. I have several complaints, Creepy Charlotte was my biggest problem, what was the point? Why include a character that has nothing to do with the story and just shows that the two “amazing” characters were unkind snobs. Author included a lot of two dimensional characters that were unnecessary other than to show that my people are superior to those people.
June 4, 2021
Lauren has written twelve letters for Josh to read after her death. Each one gives him a task to do on a path toward healing and happiness. After each letter, he takes a new step away from the crippling grief that he felt when he lost her. The letters will make you laugh and make you cry. It is hard to watch Josh and those around him struggle, but they are an amazing support network for each other. Although Lauren's dad died when she was in college, she decides to write him letters sharing her life. Those chapters go back in time to when Lauren met Josh. The beauty of the two trajectories allows details to be revealed that then connect the two timelines, keeping the reader engaged. It will be difficult to read this book without needing some tissues, but there are also some really humorous moments like the first karate class -- my fave. Why not a five-star book for me? It was too long for one thing -- more than 450 pages. Did not love having Heaven referred to as 'The Great Beyond.' And my final reason is some inconsistencies in character development.
Thank you to Berkeley and NetGalley for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
Thank you to Berkeley and NetGalley for a DRC in exchange for an honest review.
June 6, 2021
What a beautiful book about something that we all suffer through in life, grief.
Joshua Park was such a sweet man. His love for his wife was staggering. I loved watching him grow with each turn of the page.
I especially loved learning who Lauren was. She was such a beautiful light. The letters and flashbacks were perfectly distributed throughout the book.
How I teared up reading this one. There was also quite a bit of laughter.
Such a sweet read.
Joshua Park was such a sweet man. His love for his wife was staggering. I loved watching him grow with each turn of the page.
I especially loved learning who Lauren was. She was such a beautiful light. The letters and flashbacks were perfectly distributed throughout the book.
How I teared up reading this one. There was also quite a bit of laughter.
Such a sweet read.
August 30, 2021
DNF - I have hard time with the inconsistencies. She can barely breath but can have sex with her husband all the time - pretty sure that would be difficult given the need for oxygen - and a few days before she dies? Not buying it and it was enough that after the third time of this - I stopped wanting to read the book.
June 18, 2021
Pack Up The Moon is Kristan Higgins’ best work yet. It shows the soul-reaching effects of terminal illness and discusses grief in detail and with absolute honesty. Although incredibly sad, Higgins’ tearful story finds resilience and hope in the darkness. She writes an epic love story showing that love can walk beside us even after the person is gone, still nurturing us and leading us forward if we will let it. Keep your afternoon open and the tissues handy. This book will grab your heart and won’t let go. I listened to the audiobook edition which offers stellar narration by the talented Dion Graham and Xe Sands. Check it out.
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Initial Reaction:
I almost threw this in my DNF pile. The bulk of it is highly depressing and the storyline hit way too close to home. The grief and trauma of my initial cancer diagnosis lingers still, and reading about a terminally ill woman preparing herself and her husband for the end (and beyond) was too much. But, I trust Kristan Higgins always. During the late second half, the book gets better, more resilient, and finally a small handful of laughs. But oh so many tears. If you thought Me Before You ruined your mascara, just wait. Maybe it was just me. But I can say with certainty this is Higgins best work yet. Check it out and buy some stock in Kleenex while you're at it.
Note: Stellar audiobook narration by the talented Dion Graham and Xe Sands.
My favorite quote:
"When you're living with a ticking clock , you can't be a loser. You can't think about what you won't get to see, what you'll never have. Ain't no one got time for that."
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Initial Reaction:
I almost threw this in my DNF pile. The bulk of it is highly depressing and the storyline hit way too close to home. The grief and trauma of my initial cancer diagnosis lingers still, and reading about a terminally ill woman preparing herself and her husband for the end (and beyond) was too much. But, I trust Kristan Higgins always. During the late second half, the book gets better, more resilient, and finally a small handful of laughs. But oh so many tears. If you thought Me Before You ruined your mascara, just wait. Maybe it was just me. But I can say with certainty this is Higgins best work yet. Check it out and buy some stock in Kleenex while you're at it.
Note: Stellar audiobook narration by the talented Dion Graham and Xe Sands.
My favorite quote:
"When you're living with a ticking clock , you can't be a loser. You can't think about what you won't get to see, what you'll never have. Ain't no one got time for that."
April 13, 2023
just finished this book and OMG MY HEART!! *says in-between sobs*
i read some of the physical book and listened to the audiobook, and really gravitated toward the audiobook for this one.
full review to come <3
i read some of the physical book and listened to the audiobook, and really gravitated toward the audiobook for this one.
full review to come <3
May 11, 2022
Dnf @ 58%
Sorry not sorry but i hate Joshua. So fucking annoying 💩
Sorry not sorry but i hate Joshua. So fucking annoying 💩
July 10, 2021
I know I am in the minority with this rating. I felt like the author constantly repeated the same thoughts over and over. Take out the repeats, shorten the book by 75 pages and it would've been fantastic.
June 12, 2021
This book should have been titled, Pack Up Your Heart. Because, this book will grab your heart, twist it, jump on it, drag it through the mud, and have you begging for more. Oh this book. Oh my heart. Seriously though, this book wrecked me in the best way. I read this book in a day and a half because…I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! I was consumed by this book and by the love that Lauren and Joshua shared.
I should preface this review by admitting that I love books and movies that are tearjerkers. I am drawn to character driven stories that deal with grief and the process of working through it. I love being so vested in characters that I feel their pain, their anger, their angst and their grief. I loved Stepmother, Terms of Endearment and Steel Magnolias (My daughter’s name is Shelby, so…) As much as the book deals with death and grief, it is also heartwarming, endearing, and full of love and healing.
After Joshua and Lauren are newly married, they find out that Lauren has a fatal disease, IPF, which causes fibrous material to grow in her lungs and make breathing difficult. These two are the kind of couple everyone is jealous of – so in love. Joshua is a medical device inventor and turns his life work into finding a solution for Lauren’s illness. The book is told in alternating voices and timelines – but that does not make it confusing. It serves to show Lauren’s thoughts before her death, and Josh’s life and struggle after her death. Although her illness makes it seemingly impossible, she finds a way to live the best life possible with the love of her life. The beginning line is her writing a letter to her deceased father in which she says,
“People carry a terminal diagnosis differently. I wanted to ride on its back like it’s a racehorse, Dad. I think I have. I can’t say that being sick is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, because I’m not an idiot. But it’s an undeniably huge part of my life…and I love my life. More than ever.”
In an effort to soften the loss, Lauren writes a letter for each month of the first year she is gone for Josh to read. Each letter includes one task for him to complete. The letters give him a lifeline, a way to hear from her again, and a focus for the month. The tasks lead Josh to step outside of his comfort zone and meet people he might not otherwise have met. He slowly begins the healing process, surrounded by their families and friends.
This book is a tearjerker for sure, and it is a beautiful story of love and healing. You will love Lauren and Josh’s love story, you will love their families, you will love their friends, you will love their dog and you will love all of their hearts. I loved this book.
Thank you NetGalley and Berkley Pub for sharing an advance copy of this book to read and review.
Recommend with no hesitation whatsoever.
I should preface this review by admitting that I love books and movies that are tearjerkers. I am drawn to character driven stories that deal with grief and the process of working through it. I love being so vested in characters that I feel their pain, their anger, their angst and their grief. I loved Stepmother, Terms of Endearment and Steel Magnolias (My daughter’s name is Shelby, so…) As much as the book deals with death and grief, it is also heartwarming, endearing, and full of love and healing.
After Joshua and Lauren are newly married, they find out that Lauren has a fatal disease, IPF, which causes fibrous material to grow in her lungs and make breathing difficult. These two are the kind of couple everyone is jealous of – so in love. Joshua is a medical device inventor and turns his life work into finding a solution for Lauren’s illness. The book is told in alternating voices and timelines – but that does not make it confusing. It serves to show Lauren’s thoughts before her death, and Josh’s life and struggle after her death. Although her illness makes it seemingly impossible, she finds a way to live the best life possible with the love of her life. The beginning line is her writing a letter to her deceased father in which she says,
“People carry a terminal diagnosis differently. I wanted to ride on its back like it’s a racehorse, Dad. I think I have. I can’t say that being sick is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, because I’m not an idiot. But it’s an undeniably huge part of my life…and I love my life. More than ever.”
In an effort to soften the loss, Lauren writes a letter for each month of the first year she is gone for Josh to read. Each letter includes one task for him to complete. The letters give him a lifeline, a way to hear from her again, and a focus for the month. The tasks lead Josh to step outside of his comfort zone and meet people he might not otherwise have met. He slowly begins the healing process, surrounded by their families and friends.
This book is a tearjerker for sure, and it is a beautiful story of love and healing. You will love Lauren and Josh’s love story, you will love their families, you will love their friends, you will love their dog and you will love all of their hearts. I loved this book.
Thank you NetGalley and Berkley Pub for sharing an advance copy of this book to read and review.
Recommend with no hesitation whatsoever.
June 7, 2023
I cried so hard. I’ve never cried or hurt like this from a book (and I cry A LOT in books). I’m definitely going to be checking out this author again, but maybe take a slight break from sad books for a minute.
October 4, 2021
It's a given at this point I'm going to shed a tear or two while reading a book by Kristan Higgins. She just finds a way to tug at your heartstrings. For the most part it was a beautiful story about love and grief. The premise kinda sets it up to be a schmaltzy read but thankfully the author kept it from venturing too far into that territory. And that's a credit to her as most authors wouldn't have been up to the task.
The story kicks off in an interesting way as you learn Lauren has died. She was married to Josh for not too long when she receives a terminal diagnosis. The story alternates between the past in which Lauren deals with the news her life will be cut short and the present as Josh copes with losing the love of his life. Lauren planned ahead knowing Josh would have a hard time moving on and wrote letters to him. One letter per month will be given to him for a year.
This book is the type of read in which each person might gravitate towards something different. Josh's journey really was the heart of the story for me more so than Lauren coming to terms with her fate. I thought Lauren was a one-dimensional character but I did come around on that opinion by the end of the book. Even though you know she dies, watching her final days unfold really made for an emotional read.
I do have one gripe but I'll keep it vague so I don't give away spoilers. I really wish the restaurant scene at the end was written in a different way. I love the eventual outcome as I had a hunch early on that was the direction the author would take, but I did not like the over the top behavior of a character. It seemed to come out of left field and did the character dirty in my opinion. Just wasn't necessary and took me out of the story as the chapters leading up to it were very moving.
Still a good read and even though it isn't my favorite book by this author, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it. If you enjoy some of Taylor Jenkins Reid's earlier works, you'll most likely enjoy this book.
The story kicks off in an interesting way as you learn Lauren has died. She was married to Josh for not too long when she receives a terminal diagnosis. The story alternates between the past in which Lauren deals with the news her life will be cut short and the present as Josh copes with losing the love of his life. Lauren planned ahead knowing Josh would have a hard time moving on and wrote letters to him. One letter per month will be given to him for a year.
This book is the type of read in which each person might gravitate towards something different. Josh's journey really was the heart of the story for me more so than Lauren coming to terms with her fate. I thought Lauren was a one-dimensional character but I did come around on that opinion by the end of the book. Even though you know she dies, watching her final days unfold really made for an emotional read.
I do have one gripe but I'll keep it vague so I don't give away spoilers. I really wish the restaurant scene at the end was written in a different way. I love the eventual outcome as I had a hunch early on that was the direction the author would take, but I did not like the over the top behavior of a character. It seemed to come out of left field and did the character dirty in my opinion. Just wasn't necessary and took me out of the story as the chapters leading up to it were very moving.
Still a good read and even though it isn't my favorite book by this author, I wouldn't hesitate to recommend it. If you enjoy some of Taylor Jenkins Reid's earlier works, you'll most likely enjoy this book.
June 14, 2023
This book was heart wrenching and also incredibly beautiful and hopeful. I was on an emotional rollercoaster the entire time I read this book. It will stay with me for a long time.
There were so many amazing quotes in this book. I have pages of them. Below are a few:
It’s not about counting the days; it’s about making each day count.
Nothing will be the same. Nothing ever should be the same. The world is ruined by her death.
Two months and one week after Lauren died, that first day came for Josh. The day when no one called, texted, emailed, dropped by.
He was alone in a sea of people, all of them connected, it seemed.
The sadness shouldn’t cancel out what had been so bright and full and beautiful.
The mirror showed his face, wet from tears, creased in agony, scared, hopeless. How was he supposed to live without her for the rest of his life? His knees gave out, and he sank to the floor, clamping his arms over his head.
He talked out loud from time to time just to make sure he still had a voice… there were days when it felt like he didn’t really exist.
When would he stop thinking of her every second of the day? But being stuck here, in his grief, his solitude . . . this was his world now.
God helps us all. Just maybe not in the way you think, or the way we want Him to.
You did it, Josh. You made it through the first year. That after today, the first year would be over, and all those firsts would be done.
Don’t let me be your life’s tragedy. Let me be one of the best things that ever happened. One of the many best things that ever happened to you. Let our time together be a beautiful, happy time in your life that came to an end, but led to more happiness, more love.
You’ve mourned me enough, and I’m sure part of you always will. But the facts won’t change. My life ended. Yours has not. It’s time to put me aside and move on without me.
You’re alive and wonderful. Let someone love you. Someone great. I want you to open that amazing heart of yours again. I want you to be loved.
And then, amid the boxes and paintings in the now-echoing apartment, he took off his wedding ring.
And now, the first time he’d ever considered dating anyone.
There were so many amazing quotes in this book. I have pages of them. Below are a few:
It’s not about counting the days; it’s about making each day count.
Nothing will be the same. Nothing ever should be the same. The world is ruined by her death.
Two months and one week after Lauren died, that first day came for Josh. The day when no one called, texted, emailed, dropped by.
He was alone in a sea of people, all of them connected, it seemed.
The sadness shouldn’t cancel out what had been so bright and full and beautiful.
The mirror showed his face, wet from tears, creased in agony, scared, hopeless. How was he supposed to live without her for the rest of his life? His knees gave out, and he sank to the floor, clamping his arms over his head.
He talked out loud from time to time just to make sure he still had a voice… there were days when it felt like he didn’t really exist.
When would he stop thinking of her every second of the day? But being stuck here, in his grief, his solitude . . . this was his world now.
God helps us all. Just maybe not in the way you think, or the way we want Him to.
You did it, Josh. You made it through the first year. That after today, the first year would be over, and all those firsts would be done.
Don’t let me be your life’s tragedy. Let me be one of the best things that ever happened. One of the many best things that ever happened to you. Let our time together be a beautiful, happy time in your life that came to an end, but led to more happiness, more love.
You’ve mourned me enough, and I’m sure part of you always will. But the facts won’t change. My life ended. Yours has not. It’s time to put me aside and move on without me.
You’re alive and wonderful. Let someone love you. Someone great. I want you to open that amazing heart of yours again. I want you to be loved.
And then, amid the boxes and paintings in the now-echoing apartment, he took off his wedding ring.
And now, the first time he’d ever considered dating anyone.
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