Your Pain Has a Name: A Therapist's Invitation to Understanding Your Story and Sorting Out Who You Are from What Hurts

by Monica DiCristina

Monica DiCristina suffered for years without words to describe the pain she was experiencing inside. Without knowing what was behind her anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and fears, she created other names for “not good enough,” “unworthy,” “messed up,” “wrong.” Through the slow process of coming to understand her own story and find the accurate names for her pain, she discovered a glorious path to healing, and also a calling to become a therapist and help others in the same way.
     Monica knows the power, and crucial importance, of accurately understanding our stories. She brings fifteen years of professional experience and her personal story to help readers learn to identify the narratives and stumbling blocks that prevent them from becoming who they were designed to be. Monica also shares proven therapeutic strategies and insights to empower readers to name, validate, and release what isn’t theirs to carry. 
     Pain is an invitation to healing, and Monica wants to help you heal. In naming your hurts and hindrances, you gain the space, insight, and courage to become your fullest self--mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Your Pain Has a Name not only offers the insights of a practicing therapist, but creates an environment of self-compassion and loving curiosity of a therapist's office. It makes space for readers to be with themselves and be with God on their own journey. In this unique combination of personal story, therapeutic knowledge, and practical application, you will discover how to let go of the narratives that have held you back so you can uncover authentic connection to yourself and others. 

223 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 13, 2025

Reviews

[Gypsy Savage · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Your Pain Has a Name, Monica offers a compassionate and deeply insightful look into emotional healing. Drawing on her own personal story and journey to healing, she helps readers learn how to identify and name the specific pain they carry, which is an essential step in healing.

The book is both practical and empathetic. It’s structured around the idea that naming our pain gives us power over it, allowing us to separate our true selves from the hurt we've internalized. She gently guides readers through real-life examples, helpful tools, and reflections that encourage emotional awareness, self-compassion, and freedom from shame.

Monica is warm, wise, and reassuring in her writing and in real life. She offers validation and helps you gain clarity as you work through naming your own pain.

I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone and everyone who is struggling with emotional wounds or simply looking to better understand themselves. It’s a valuable companion for those wanting to move from survival to healing with honesty and hope.

[Heather Norman · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

This book truly hit on themes I could personally connect to—at times, almost word for word. Reading it felt like a hug I didn’t realize I’d been longing for. The author thoughtfully explores many different facets of life, the obstacles we face, the emotions we experience, and people we try to go to for help or confession—showing how these layers aren’t isolated, but constantly interacting and shaping one another. The overall tone is both compassionate and empowering, offering guidance without judgment through honest personal anecdotes and reflections-giving us the power to name our pain, to finally be seen, and to define our own story.

Thank you Taylor with Worthy Publishing in partnership with NetGally for an ARC, and the opportunity to read something so uplifting.

[Jorge Martinez-Vazquez · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Resource For Us All. One way or another many of us have been subject to psychological trauma. And often it takes a long time to realize it.
This book is a wonderful resource for all of us who have gone through that experience. And when I say, “many of us,” I am talking about the fact that this book is a resource for so many people in so many countries around the world. Yes, an international resource!
The author takes you step by step in identifying and naming your pain. And then she leads you to helpful and useful healthy reactions. Read it. And review it and recommend it. It’s worth it!

[Teddi Bair · Rating 5 out of 5]

DiCristina shines as a story-teller and therapist in this book, thanks to her personal stories, the stories of her clients, and the skills she gently teaches. The book accomplishes the goal she sets out in the introduction: reading it is, in fact, like sitting with a skilled therapist. I could see myself in the stories and felt inspired to use the skills she taught. Over the course of the weekend I read this book, I noticed myself feeling more present in my experience, relaxed, and connected to the people around me.

[Becky Nguyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a healing balm for anyone, but especially for those who have struggled with their mental health and the shame that too often accompanies that struggle. Monica brings a warm, yet expert, voice to some of the pain in a person’s life that they may have never uttered to another soul. I have been a practicing therapist for over 25 years and this is the first self-help book I have read in one sitting, cover to cover, because it was so deeply compelling. As I read it, I fully expected to be “wowed” because I know Monica personally and professionally, and I believe that everything she puts out into the world is top notch. What I did not fully expect was to have my own deeply therapeutic experience, but I 100% did! As I read, my whole body and mind shifted into a profoundly settled and rooted place. I trust that many others will also experience a palpable “exhale” and a deep sense of hope in this beautiful read.

[Sonia A · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Your pains need your presence. They need you to bend down, stay awhile, listen, refusing to look away. Naming them will be attending to them.” This is the central theme to Monica’s book—identifying the pain that has rewritten the narrative we believe about ourselves so we can find a path toward healing. Monica offers practical wisdom interwoven with her personal painful experiences of how to understand our pain and, ultimately, ourselves.

[Cat Caird · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book so helpful, it guides the reader on a journey of being able to identify and name their pain, helping them to embrace their younger self and start a healing process. I felt seen and heard while reading this and there are many things I am going to take away from it and put into practice.

[Amy Robbins Dunn · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a gem of a book. I’m a therapist and I have told so many clients that they should read it. It’s lovely, peaceful, insightful and inspiring. Really excited this has hit the market. We all have pain, hurt, read this book to understand and figure out what to do with it

[Steph Cherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good! This is an excellent guide to healing pain. It teaches how to be compassionate to yourself. Beautiful work.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Your Pain Has a Name" by Monica DiCristina is a very thought-provoking book. Giving your pain a name can be a powerful tool for healing and understanding. It allows you to acknowledge and validate your experiences, making them easier to address and manage. By identifying and naming your pain, you can start exploring its roots and work towards finding solutions or coping strategies. Naming emotional pain also helps in reducing its overwhelming nature, as it provides a clearer framework to discuss and express feelings. It fosters a sense of control, enabling individuals to articulate their emotions more precisely and seek support from others. Furthermore, it can lead to increased empathy and self-awareness, as understanding the specific nature of one's pain opens the door to more effective healing. To identify and name personal pain, start by keeping a journal to track your feelings and experiences, which can help you notice patterns and triggers. Reflect on significant events or relationships in your life that may have contributed to your emotional distress. Additionally, consider seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor who can provide insights and support in naming and understanding your pain. Once you've identified and named your emotional pain, consider practicing mindfulness techniques to stay present and manage stress. Engage in regular physical activity, as exercise can boost mood and reduce anxiety. Additionally, build a support network by connecting with friends, family, or support groups who can offer encouragement and understanding. Make self-care a priority by setting aside time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Regularly check in with your emotional state through mindfulness or meditation practices to stay attuned to your needs. Additionally, continue to nurture supportive relationships and seek professional help when necessary to maintain a balanced and resilient emotional well-being.

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your Pain Has a Name, consider this your invite.

Maybe it’s your personal experience that one has suffered through some sort of Emotional pain. That one has an experience this, Which I don’t believe on any level. This book can help one understand somebody else’s pain.

I love how the author lays us out in a way that is very much a narrative writing.

This comes out as more of a story and how to find, invite, and accept the healing.

This book is great for somebody who’s never looked into emotional trauma as it has a good layout of what that can mean the phrase is used or otherwise.

As well as somebody who has been through therapy and worked through the hard process of healing, it can be a great reminder to recap and To center ourselves once again.

I love the authors correlation to the patient as a whole understanding that each person is unique and an individual with their own experiences.

Stories broken out into three parts and is very well focused on the approach to each in an accessible way for all.

I highly recommend this to anyone who finds himself questioning. Do I struggle with emotional trauma?

[Terence Lester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your Pain Has a Name is not just a book, it’s an invitation. Monica DiCristina writes with the rare combination of clinical wisdom and lived experience, offering readers both understanding and deep compassion. As a therapist, she brings clarity and insight. As someone who has walked through pain herself, she brings tenderness and truth.

This is not a book filled with quick fixes or clinical jargon. Instead, it revives something far more powerful: the healing that happens in safe, honest presence. DiCristina helps readers understand how unnamed pain, the heavy feelings we carry without words, can shape our sense of self in ways that are often untrue and harmful. She gently guides us toward the courage to name that pain and begin healing from it.

Whether you are a therapist, just starting therapy, or simply trying to make sense of your own story, this book meets you where you are. It is for anyone who has ever felt overwhelmed by emotion, confused by their inner world, or in search of a way back to themselves.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Over the years, I have come to deeply trust Monica DiCristina. I find her voice to be gently encouraging and patiently wise. She has a true gift for describing things that can be complicated and confusing in clear, easy-to-grasp and non-threatening ways.

"Your Pain Has a Name" is a true gem in which Monica shares stories of her own hard-won wisdom in service of helping to illustrate the concepts she is writing about. Honored to be a member of her launch team, I finished her book in record time as I appreciated her words of wisdom so very much. Her *gorgeous* book was exactly the nourishing balm my longing heart and weary soul needed… and has needed for a very long time.

In her introduction, Monica writes, “This book is a homecoming, a loving reunion with who you are.” Reading "Your Pain Has a Name" felt exactly like that… a warm, welcome home.

[Kasia Hubbard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your Pain Has a Name by Monica DiCristina is like taking a slow walk with a really close friend who allows you to be introspective while she helps guide you to truths that will help set you free. I read a lot of these kind of books and lead women through groups of healing and restoration, and honestly, there isn't anything in this book that I disagree with. There's a phrase we use, 'what hides in the dark grows, what's brought to the light shrinks', and that's really the best summation of this book that I can come up with. Monica takes you gently by the hand and walks you through understanding trauma, what it does, how it's impacted you, and how you can break free from it to a new path of healing and restoration. Highly recommend!
*I received a copy of this book from NetGalley. This review is my own opinion*

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been a therapist for 19 years and I do not have know that I have ever read a book that so encourages, informs, and equips individuals in their healing journey like Your Pain Has a Name. While reading it, I was blown away at the depth of information, the way Monica beautifully describes the concepts for healing, and how digestible it is for the reader. It is like Monica speaks directly to you. Not only does she share her journey, but she writes in a way that invites you to think more deeply about your own. She writes in a way that makes you feel truly known. There are so many helpful and applicable concepts and strategies throughout the book. If you are looking to start or go further in your healing journey, I highly recommend Your Pain Has a Name!

[Nathan Hedges · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't typically get very far into self-help books. More often than not they feel patronizing to me. Your Pain Has a Name, is the farthest thing from that. It is so well written... it is concise, and it sticks to what's real. DiChristina is vulnerable in the right proportion... she does a great job opening the door to vulnerability and introspection without the book becoming about her. It really drove me to consider my experience with deep self-empathy, and it made me re-think how I perceive others in a more empathic way.

I strongly recommend this book for for "non-self-help" people like me who can benefit from digging in on their own story.

[Alaina Brubaker · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so insightful, compassionate and brimming with Monica’s wisdom. She shares both from her clinical experience and from her own experiences. It gave me the feeling as a reader that she was not above me with all the answers but beside me understanding the complexity of being a human in this world. This is not like other self help books with surface level advice. This is a deep dive into understanding your experience and being able to support yourself from a place of compassion. Highly recommend.

[Sherron Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

You Are Worthy!
Your Pain Has a Name” by Monica DiCristina is so thoughtful, so helpful, compassionate and overall knowledgeable and well researched. It is clear and strong and no mincing words: YOU, the reader, are worthy. You are strong. You are valuable. You are deserving of love and emotional safety- despite what others have told you or told about you. Do you feel safe (emotionally)? Do you feel loved? Furthermore, DiCristina explains how to find your truth, to dispel the false narratives. She gives clear real examples and practical help. Highly recommend this book.

[Kimberley Hedges · Rating 5 out of 5]

Monica DiCristina’s book is a beautifully written guide for embracing your own story. She introduces her past in such a vulnerable and thoughtful way that captivates the reader. DiCristina’s words feel like a patient and insightful therapy session, full of empathy and understanding while exploring and reframing how to look at one’s own story in a more healthy and self-aware way. I found it very difficult to put this book down. I highly recommend this book for everyone, especially those looking for more compassionate self-awareness.

[Beedee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Your Pain Has A Name was extremely readable, warm, embracing, practical and inviting. Monica invites you into her life being completely vulnerable. There are practical suggestions to living with pain or just dealing with a daily life in today world, especially now. Her quotes at the beginning of each chapter were thoughtful and worth pondering their wisdom. Along with all the above I enjoyed reading her writing!

[Kelly Stephens · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an amazing book...Monica writes with such honesty and grace at the same time. Her thoughtful and accurate writing on grief and loss resonated in particular. She describes active grief and living and breathing, accompanying you everywhere. As a therapist, the images she paints in such an articulate way will be especially helpful with clients. On a personal note, I want to read again to absorb even more of her shared wisdom on pain. I highly recommend this book!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a great introduction to the benefits of receiving counseling. It would be beneficial for someone who wants to try counseling but has never gone before. After following her for years on social media, I gained a deeper understanding of the author's story and felt honored that she shared it with her readers. There are good, affirming tips in the book that will help you, in addition to seeking counseling for anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.75 ⭐ I rarely dive into non-fiction that could fall under 'self-help' but I found this incredibly well done. DiCristina does an excellent job in navigating the different ways in which a person can 'name their pain' while also highlighting that this book cannot, and does not strive to, solve anything and that any work be done with the help of a professional.

[Nikki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Your Pain Has a Name is an honest and hopeful companion for anyone carrying emotional wounds or just wanting to better understand themselves. Monica DiCristina gives language to things that are often hard to name, making the path from survival to healing feel more possible. I’d recommend this to anyone looking for both clarity and comfort in their healing journey.

[Lottie C · Rating 5 out of 5]

5⭐️

[a copy of this book was provided to me by the publisher from netgalley. thank you!]

an informative book about mental health, including trauma and anxiety, written by a qualified therapist. very insightful and compassionate

[Katrina McLellan]

Thanks to libro fm for the advanced educator audio book. This book was just okay. It was a good length with good analogies. I’d say there was one really captivating nugget of wisdom I wanted to hold onto after the book. By the next time I listened to the book, I’d already forgotten what that was.

[Sarah Bragg · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone in their forties who wasn’t taught the importance of naming what we feel, this book is a must read. This book is personal and professional wrapped into one. It’s like having a therapist on dial to walk with you through your hardships. This is a book to keep coming back to over and over.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Brandi Diamond · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book - both personally and professionally, I’ll be returning to it time and time again.

[Betsy Metcalf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This beautiful book resonated with me in so many ways. It made me feel hopeful, empowered and seen. Monica has such a gift for understanding pain and validating our hurt.