Brainwashed

Alabaster Penitentiary #3

by Nyla K., Walker Williams (Narrator), Brent Billings (Narrator)

Monster.

That's what they call me.

Lock your doors, hold your loved ones tight. The Carver is on the loose.

Except I'm not. I was caught.

The days of allowing my inner depravity to run wild are over. I've been sent to prison for good, something of a celebrity in this dark, dank hell-hole they call Alabaster Penitentiary. The only thing I have left to offer the world is my story, and unfortunately for me, the Warden has the rest of my life to get it out of me. Being poked and prodded, examined and tested on isn't something I enjoy very much. Until they send him... The new doctor is here to study me and my crimes. And I'm beginning to think we might not be as different as it seems. He craves knowledge the way I crave the blood of my victims. Despite his robotic nature, there's just something about him... Something I want. But I'll have to be careful not to smother it to death. After all... It's kind of my thing. ** Brainwashed is a dark MM doctor-patient romance, an interconnected standalone in the Alabaster Penitentiary series. While it follows a new couple, we strongly recommend you read Volumes 1-2 first to avoid spoilery situations. This book has true crime elements that may make some readers uncomfortable. Please proceed with caution. **

Genres: M M Romance, Dark Romance, Dark, Romance, LGBT, Forced Proximity, Serial Killer

21 pages, Audible Audio

Published December 14, 2023

About the author

Author of Flipping Hot Fiction. I write big books and I cannot lie, *insert smirky face*. Specializing in LGBTQ+ representation.

Nyla K is a quirky world-traveler with a sailor mouth and a filthy mind. She writes the dark, and the dirty, but most importantly, UNIQUE romantic fiction. Her smutty and taboo love stories are not for the faint of heart, so beware!

Nyla believes in the relevant, boundary-pushing, mind-bending side of erotic fiction, which is always what to expect from her. If you're looking for the same old story, you won't get that with Nyla K. But if you want complex characters, and stories that stick in your mind like a bad case of crabs... you've come to the right place ;).

Reviews

[moonlight ☾ [semi-hiatus] · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Lem, I would rather be a monster in chains with you than free and living in a world where I don't get to touch you whenever I want. I'm here, just like you are. We're here together, and if I'm brainwashed, then so be it. I'm happy to let you possess my mind, and my heart, and my body... Only if you're okay owning my evil.”

this book had me fucked up in the best way and Felix and Lem literally own me. i loved their dynamic so much; the way they fell in love with each other for who they truly were, accepted the best and worst traits of the other. i loved how complex and intriguing both characters (as well as a few other side characters) felt to me. i'm looking forward to possibly... Ren/Luthor?? Trevel/Kang?? 👀

this was my first Nyla K. book, but definitely won't be my last. i'm aware she also writes poly/menage (or sharing, if any) stories so i most likely will skip those bc they aren't for me, but i still wanna try her other mm or mf works, if any happen to catch my interest!

[Noa · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Each and every step we take carves out our destiny. Purpose is given, adjusted, and instilled. We're guided into everything we do by the chaos of the universe."

Felix Harmon Darcey.
Inmate #89 at Alabaster Penitentiary.
But known worldwide as "The Carver"
And he didn't get that name for nothing.
Now the warden is bringing in Dr. Lemuel Love to study "The Carver"
But will the doctor get into his head or will Felix worm his way in?

"Because he isn't afraid of me. He doesn't fear The Carver. He's not watching me like I'm despicable, a monster locked up in chains. He thinks I'm interesting…"

Dr. Lemuel Love PhD.
The only doctor brought to research "The Carver"
Dr. Love has been fascinated by the world and mind of Serial Killers.
And "The Carver" is the cherry on top of the sundae.
The jackpot.
But is the good doctor signing up for more than he could ever imagine?

"There's a reason they say looks are deceiving, and Felix Darcey's looks are the ultimate camouflage."

This is my favorite book in the Alabaster Penitentiary series. There I said it thank you very much. Felix Darcey is also my favorite character in the Alabaster Penitentiary series. The look inside the mind of a serial killer, the non-existent feelings, what he's supposed to feel… The whole point of view is just addicting to read. And Dr. Love the way he asks the questions to get the answers he wants from Felix… and not always for research purposes…

"Being Felix Darcey makes me itchy. I'd rather be The Carver."

Felix Darcey known as "The Carver" is literally so addictive to read. The way he rationalizes everything he does and the way he doesn't feel but also has this side of him that doesn't want to be alone. Nyla K. legit standing ovation because it is so fucking good. Also the way that he is this scary serial killer on the outside to everyone but inside he's just a scared kid who wants people to like him and blueberry pancakes with bacon. Be still my beating fucking heart I mean…

"But the most captivating thing about it is how desperately I'm craving his attention already."

And you have Dr. Lemuel Love PhD. Everything he does is for research purposes… (sure buddy). I love that we get tidbits and sneak peeks in "Joyless" about him but nothing does this human robot justice. His backstory is devastating not gonna touch that with a 10 foot pole. But the way he is so fascinated by Felix and when he starts to develop feelings he tries to rationalize it by saying it's because he is interested in him as "The Carver"… (as Felix says "keep telling yourself that" buddy).

"Felix Darcey is exactly that. A dangerous animal behind bars. And I can't help wanting to step inside his cage… In my presence, I want him free to do whatever his twisted little mind wants to do."

Again again these are the songs that I added to get into that criminal minds, fall in love with a serial killer, prison vibes… You know what I mean?

(Link - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4Nn... )

🎵 "I Sent My Therapist To Therapy" - Alec Benjamin
🎵 "Serial Killer" - Moncrieff, JUDGE
🎵 "INVISIBLE" - Duran Duran
🎵 "Twisted" - MISSIO
🎵 "Sociopath" - StayLoose, Bryce Fox
🎵 "Run Boy Run" - Woodkid
🎵 "Cynical" - Emei
🎵 "Sorry About Your Parents" - Icon For Hire
🎵 "stacy's brother" - Mad Tsai
🎵 "Blood" - In This Moment
🎵 "parents" - YUNGBLUD
🎵 "BLURRY" - Neoni
🎵 "Control" - Halsey
🎵 "Paranoid" - I Prevail
🎵 "Heaven Was Full (I'm Headed Straight To Hell)" - TX2
🎵 "Boy In The Bubble" - Alec Benjamin
🎵 "Numb" - Linkin Park
🎵 "Look What You Made Me Do" - Taylor Swift
🎵 "Daddy Issues" - The Neighbourhood
🎵 "THAT’S WHAT I WANT" - Lil Nas X
🎵 "Color - Remix" - Todrick Hall
🎵 "Monster" - Lady Gaga
🎵 "bad guy" - Billie Eilish, Justin Bieber
🎵 "salvation" - Christabelle Marbun
🎵 "OWN MY MIND" - Maneskin
🎵 "butterflies" - GAYLE
🎵 "Freaks" - Jordan Clarke
🎵 "Please Don't Leave Me" - P!nk
🎵 "Leave Me Along (I'm Lonely)" - P!nk
🎵 "Fallin' (Adrenaline)" - Why Don't We
🎵 "Killer" - Valerie Broussard
🎵 "Killer - Remix" - Eminem, Jack Harlow, Cordae
🎵 "It Will Come Back" - Hozier
🎵 "Movement" - Hozier
🎵 "Le Monde" - Richard Carter
🎵 "Figure You Out" - VOILA
🎵 "3D (Sped Up)" - Jung Kook, Jack Harlow
🎵 "Cravin'" - Stileto, Kendyle Paige
🎵 "Do It For Me" - Rosenfeld
🎵 "Here" - Alessia Cara
🎵 "Chokehold" - Sleep Token
🎵 "obsessed" - zandros, Limi
🎵 "Cuckoo" - Adam Lambert
🎵 "Devil Side" - Foxes
🎵 "BREATHING UNDERWATER" - Hot Milk
🎵 "the apology I'll never receive" - RORY
🎵 "Cologne" - SM6
🎵 "Still Into You" - Paramore
🎵 "I Want To" - Rosenfeld
🎵 "Rush" - Troye Sivan
🎵 "I Like Boys" - Todrick Halls
🎵 "I feel everything" - Amelia Moore
🎵 "Candy" - Doja Cat
🎵 "King For A Day" - Pierce The Veil, Kellin Quinn
🎵 "Way down We Go" - KALEO
🎵 "needy" - Ariana Grande
🎵 "Lose Control" - Teddy Swims
🎵 "run for the hills" - Tate McRae
🎵 "sloppy" - KiNG MALA, UPSAHL
🎵 "Sleepless" - Dutch Melrose
🎵 "Killer In The Mirror" - Set It Off
🎵 "It I Killed Someone For You" - Alec Benjamin
🎵 "because I liked a boy" - Sabrina Carpenter
🎵 "Sick Thoughts" - Lewis Blissett
🎵 "Beggin'" - Maneskin
🎵 "Ruin My Life" - Zara Larsson
🎵 "Bruises" - Lewis Capaldi
🎵 "Beautiful Things" - Benson Boone
🎵 "Half Life" - Livingston
🎵 "doomsday" - Lizzy McAlpine
🎵 "Taste" - Ari Abdul
🎵 "Until I Found You" - Stephen Sanchez
🎵 "THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND" - Bad Omens
🎵 "Not OK" - Robert Grace
🎵 "One Of Us" - Ava Max
🎵 "Call Out My Name - Live" - The Weeknd
🎵 "eyes don't lie" - Isabel LaRosa
🎵 "Fighter" - Christian Reindle, Power-Haus, Dream Harlowe
🎵 "I Want You To Want Me" - Chase Holfelder
🎵 "The Drug In Me Is Reimagined" - Falling In Reverse
🎵 "Achilles Heel" - J. Maya
🎵 "Moth To A Flame" - Swedish House Mafia, The Weeknd
🎵 "Victim" - Halflives
🎵 "Do Or Die" - Natalie Jane
🎵 "More" - 5 Seconds Of Summer
🎵 "Love On The Brain" - Rihanna
🎵 "When You Say My Name" - Chandler Leighton
🎵 "Skin" - Sabrina Carpenter
🎵 "Angel Of Small Death and the Codeine Scene" - Hozier
🎵 "Can You Feel My Heart" - Bring Me The Horizon
🎵 "JEKYLL & HIDE" - Bishop Briggs
🎵 "Fake Fiction" - Picturesque
🎵 "Every Breath You Take" - Chase Holfelder
🎵 "A Grave Mistake" - Ice Nine Kills
🎵 "The Kill" - Thirty Seconds To Mars
🎵 "FOR YOUR LOVE" - Maneskin
🎵 "Hurry Up And Save Me" - Tiffany Giardina
🎵 "You Found Me" - Our Last Night
🎵 "I'm yours" - Isabel LaRosa
🎵 "A.D.I.D.A.S" - Little Mix
🎵 "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" - Jax
🎵 "Rain" - Sleep Token

And you already know what's coming up 😏😏

"Quiet, monster. Keep still and let me show you who's boss."

"It's like I own you, sick boy. You're like my monster."

"I told you to talk to me, sick boy, let me hear that twisted mouth of yours."

🔪 Tropes 🔪

🩸Dark Prison Romance
🩸Psychologist x Serial Killer
🩸Grumpy x Sunshine
🩸Forbidden Romance
🩸Secret Romance
🩸Criminal Minds Vibes

Book edit - https://www.instagram.com/p/C2mqa0or2Xj/

[Crystal (Crystalreads2) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down, Brainwashed is my favorite book from the author. Also my most anticipated book since the author first announced the series. I love a brilliantly written sociopath. Now add a morally grey character with darkness dying to get out, and you have a masterpiece.

Felix first piqued my interest in distorted, and I couldn’t wait to read more about him and what happens in the east wing. In true Nyla K style, it was deprived, scandalous, and delicious. As always, my review will be vague.


Felix is it’s misunderstood and highly intelligent. When he finds out what he craves is heartbreaking, but you will love him. Don’t forget he is still a serial killer. But so help me how Nyla K wrote him, I fell in love with his character.

Dr. Love(Yes, I was singing the song while reading the book) psychiatrist extraordinaire. He brought in getting into his mind of Felix. Who wouldn’t want to get into psychopath’s or sociopath's minds and figure out how they tick? I found Dr. Love to be highly intense and complex. I’m not complaining. I happen to love him.

Felix and Dr. Love lit up my kindle, and I found it smoking a time or two. All I have to say is that bathtub scene; Ovaries down! 🥵The spice is just an added bonus. Pay close attention, especially to all the true crime buffs. They’re several bread crumbs throughout the book.

Brainwashed is a perfect example of why Nyla K is one of my one-click authors. She delivered a twisted tail that left me wanting more. I highly recommend this series.

[Rina Pride · Rating 5 out of 5]

A romance between Strange Doctor and Jeffrey Dahmer's Cosplay😅
The psychiatrist and the psychopath.
That book was fucking tense, madly yummy to read to the end

I love watching biographies of serial killers and trying to understand how these crazy people's minds work, something I haven't been able to, but I think that's how Lem mentioned it, they're born that way.

Not long ago, I watched a biography and series of Jeffrey Dahmer, he was a serial killer that intrigued me. But he was a fucking ass, and he only managed to kill because the police turned a blind eye, all because he was a white man.

Felix darcey is certainly smarter than the one who inspired him. 😂

All the chemistry between Doctor Lemuel and Felix was very vibrant, I couldn't stop reading that book. I'm still feeling all the intensity here

[Kiki · Rating 1 out of 5]

I picked up this book solely because of this funny TikTok and now I want to cancel my subscription to life. For all the kidneys in Hannibal's freezer I cannot remember the last time I read a book this bad lmfao. This book pushed the boundaries of what it means to be awful. It redefined "bad". It innovated a whole new genre of egregious dogshit. The funniest part is the characters having these intense conversations about how fucked up and craaaaaAAAAAAaaazy!!! Felix is and how he’s such an enigma and no one can crack him, and omg what a dark fuck prince he is, and you feel like you’re having a brain bleed because Felix is actually a) fucking cringe, b) on the podium for Duloc’s next village idiot, c) not a sociopath or a psychopath, and does not fit the diagnostic criteria for ASPD, because the author has no idea what any of those terms mean, and d) a Tesco blue stripe serial killer. Motherfucker is a garden variety pathetic loser incel, like an absolute boilerplate no frills assembly line murderer the likes of which we've seen dozens of times before, and yet Dr Love and everyone else is oohing and aahing over him, and what had me actually crying partly out of pain but mostly laughter is that Dr Love is like “my experiments… I must study him… fascinating” and you’re just🧍🏻‍♀️because what bro 😭 there is no way this “research” is going to survive peer review and also it’s fucking pointless lmfao. what are you hoping to glean. this is like those people who think it's some kind of flat earth gotcha when we say we're not going back to the moon when in actual fact we don't go to the moon because there's nothing fuvking there. nobody is going to give a shit about this "research" because you're not discovering anything about anyone or doing anything even remotely interesting. teh only reason Felix is “fascinating” to anyone is because the author is, for whatever reason, “fascinated” by Jeffrey Dahmer, about whom this is obviously a shitty fanfic. I wasn’t aware of this going in, but after reading the dedication I’m blown away by the total lack of self awareness baked into the inception of this book—if your book is about HH Holmes or Jack the Ripper, I couldn’t care less, because enough time has passed, but Dahmer’s crimes are well within living memory. Families of the young men he tortured are still alive, active, and aware of the breathtaking violence carried out against their vulnerable loved ones. And you could look at me and say “well you loved Exquisite Corpse” and to that I say YOU FORGET YOURSELF. Exquisite Corpse is a psychological masterpiece, as hideous and vicious and violent as a book about the mechanisms of murder should be. This book has a serial killer winking “you know I killed people, right?” “swoon city” “I’m soooo fucked up” “killer bee” get the fuck away from me. You can’t write a book like this and then think some lip service in your afterword about not meaning to be disrespectful is going to fly. You can’t throw a bucket of boiling water over someone and then say, well, I never meant to hurt you!

This book is such an amazing example of the utter emotional and moral bankruptcy prevalent in areas of the “true crime community”. women’s fascination with true crime has many many deep and legitimate psychological layers and I understand that fully (see: Savage Appetites: Four True Stories of Women, Crime, and Obsession) but there are limits and we've identified one of them here, which is when your Dahmer funko pop starts acting kawaii. I am firmly a purveyor of risk-taking, transgressiveness, media literacy, and above all freedom in art and therefore I cannot say that this book shouldn’t have been published while professing to stand by my principles—god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers—but I can say that I DO NOT APPROVE. GO TO YOUR ROOM.


FIN

[KnittingMamaBear-Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Actual rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐.45 / 5 WTF did i LTSM stars
Spice rating: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ / 5 delayed peppers

🩸someone on Insta just posted a reel with 🎵Killer Bee (feat. Lafa Taylor)🎵 as soundtrack and now it lives rent-free in my head, and i am suddenly, again, completely obsessed with Felix🩸


🖤Typical. Every time i go into a taboo AF M/M romance read, and it's written by Nyla K., i am proven wrong. Once again this woman has bested me, in thinking that my moral compass, somehow, will not allow me to enjoy this book. Damn it.

🖤I loved. every. page.

🖤I will not talk about this story in detail, because for once in my reading career I would like to respect the author's foreword and not provide any spoilers. I am that enamoured with this whole Alabaster Pen situation, and will be an obedient little reader, and a good girl.

🖤What I want to tell you though, is if you have a fascination with true crime, serial unalivers, and beautiful bespectacled men, then this is the book for you. There is gore, 🍇, straight razors and some other run of the mill atrocities involved, however. There is also fascination, addiction, co-dependency and reverence. Towards a person of authority. From Felix, the monster. FML, he is so charming, damaged and witty, this book reads like a manual of how to fall in love with a true villain. Who gets his HEA - not a spoiler, this is also in the foreword.

🖤Look, Dr. Love was not my favourite. But that didn't deter me from devouring this in almost one sitting. It's intense, and some parts are so anxiety-inducing I had to rush ahead to see that it comes right. It almost always did.

🖤Also, if you didn't know, Nyla K. can write the panties off anyone on her worst days. What this author does while writing spice i will never know, but my suspicion is that she infuses it with crack. And i am not mad about it. Highly recommend this read, best enjoyed as part of the series.

🖤PS: some readers were personally very surprised that Felix is based on an infamous serial killer and they struggled with the idea of lusting / enjoying a read about his sexual relationship with his doctor. Now, while Felix is undoubtably a monster, and i have my suspicions about Lem being half a psycho, somehow in dark M/F romance many don't have a problem with the "villain gets the girl / boy" trope. Here, at Alabaster Pen (which is a work of fiction) love is love, and i loved seeing this villain get his man.

🖤[...] It's not like being a man who hooks up with other men needs to be a big deal. If you still like women, great. More power to you. Just do who you wanna do and call it a day, that's my motto. 🖤

[Maisha Farzana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bone chilling and addictive. "Brainwashed" by Nyla K, is without any doubt, the craziest book I have ever read. It was insane and dire. How I still ended up loving it...is beyond me.

👇➿➿➿➿✿

"Brainwashed" washed my brain... thoroughly...with detergent. Then it squeezed the extra water out with so much pressure that I blacked out. Now I have regained my senses but I can't find my brain anywhere. My brain is missing. I am now nothing but a ghoul, wandering around, without her damn brain.

Wait! It doesn't sound as funny as I thought it would. The joke got darker fast. I'm not worried though. Welcome to my hell....

👇➿➿➿➿✿

"We all have good in us. We all house evil. The extent to which we practice it is what separates us from them."

"Brainwashed" tells the story of a psychopath, who loves to murder poeple in his free time. And it's the story of a psychiatrist who was appointed to study how the psychopath's mind works. But ooops...seems like the doctor is crazy too. So, two crazy poeple do some crazy stuffs. They fall in love and then live happily ever after. Simple story. Isn't it? But are you sure if it's as simple as it sounds? Afterall, Eyes can betray too, heart can be fooled...and mind? It always lies...

Do the evils deserve to be loved?

"He might be the patient, but I’m the one who’s brainwashed.
And I never want to wake from this debauchery."

I'm beyond surprised by how much I enjoyed "Brainwashed". This was unlike anything I have ever read. It isn't the kind of book I like, usually. I don't like unrealistic things, I don't enjoy hardcore crazy stuffs. I like romance novels which are sweet, heart warming and offer a bit (or a lot) of emotional drama. Needless to say again, "Brainwashed" is anything but those. It was almost as though...I thought I liked them sweet but turns out I've got a taste for hardcore. Trust me I wasn't aiming for a innuendo. Don't know how it came to that. Whatever moving on....

"I think everything makes sense with Lemuel in my life. I’m a monster, but I found my Dr. Frankenstein, who treasures me for me."

I loved studying these two characters. I lived spending time in their heads. Felix and Lem were such unique specimens. Yes, I am calling them specimens cause I don't think they were merely humans. Their characteristics personality, way of thinking- everything was so interesting and appealing. The duality in their characters had me at awe. For instance, Felix is a vicious and dangerous psychopath. But at the same time, he's also emotionally sensitive abd very self aware. Lem is a well-known psychologist. Usually very professional and reserved. But he also has a dark side that will scare you all, compel you to think that Lem's possibly more dangerous than Felix. So...When a psychologist appears to be more dangerous that a sociopath...what would you make of it?

“Felix Darcey.” He sighs my name like it’s his blessing, not a curse, his large hands rushing up my chest to cover my heart and the scars he made there. “If I’m your Want, then you’re my Need.”

The romance was hot and swoon worthy. It was possessive and dark. Some scenes gave me goosebumps because of how weird they were. But guess what? I loved those horrendous parts. These 600+ pages were definitely worth it.

"I’m here, just like you are. We’re here together, and if I’m brainwashed, then so be it. I’m happy to let you possess my mind, and my heart, and my body… Only if you’re okay owning my evil.”

[Renae Reads · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brainwashed is a wickedly delightful romance between a psychopath and his psychiatrist. I loved seeing both of these men unravel while falling for each other. It creates an epic slow burn that expertly weaves together forbidden love with true crime.

I was enthralled seeing the twisted love story between Felix Darcey and Dr. Love. Their complex natures made for an enjoyable story due to shocking reveals and fascinating developments.

Another amazing aspect of Brainwashed is how both main characters complement one another so completely. Their love story is one with a heart that beats and bleeds strongly.

[Julia (bookish.jka) · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The world needs people like us. The evil to balance out the good. The monsters under their beds, the fear. Fear is important, after all. It reminds us that we're alive."

Well, now. I absolutely LOVE the way this Alabaster Penitentiary series is shaping up and filling out with every book that Nyla K. releases and honestly, they're just getting better and better.

I enjoyed Distorted when I first read it, but I really need to go back for a re-read now, knowing what I do about Dash and Kemper. Dash, you little angel❣️.

And then my opinions on Velle and Joy (and let's not forget the addition of the divine Rook) were totally changed when I read Joyless - what a glorious rollercoaster of a read that one was - and now we finally get to read sociopath Felix Darcey's story in Brainwashed. And man, what a fabulous read it is!

Brainwashed fills in so many 'behind the scenes' gaps, as we learn more about The Carver's exploits and exactly what goes down in the East Wing. And without giving too much away, it would appear that that includes the divine Dr Lemuel Love, who may not be as straight or as moralistic as first appearances foreshadowed......

This is not a book for the faint hearted, it's twisted and dark and forbidden. There are true crime elements and violence and recounting of numerous murders - let's not forget that Felix is a serial killer and Lem is his psychiatrist/doctor. The relationship between the two is not 'normal' or 'appropriate' or traditional. It is explosive and forbidden and conflicted and HOT AS HELL.

I loved every dark and dirty page and can't wait for book 4 in the series, Fragments out later this year.

Highly recommended, if you like your romance dark and your relationships disturbing.

5 twisted AF stars ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Lana ❇✾DG Romance❇✾ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Felix Darcey is exactly that. A dangerous animal behind bars. And I just can’t help wanting to step inside his cage.

It's official, this series is total CRACK. CRACK. Crack I tells ya. It's sick, depraved, dark, disturbing, toe curling, finger licking GOOD. I mean, it's just...GAH. I'm obsessed more than Felix was with his psychiatrist.

You know what it looks like?” I ask, turning my face to his.
“What’s that?” He breathes with my mouth hovering over his.
“It looks like I own you, sick boy.” My lips brush his and he quivers. “You’re my monster.”

Now if you're thinking of reading this as a standalone, don't. Trust me. While each book stands on it's own, it's all a puzzle piece of one uniquely fucked up world, and you need to read it in order. You will learn to appreciate every nod and nuance in the previous books as you read the next one. And I love the amount of thought Nyla put in the plotting of this because it shines like a beacon. And this reader? Devoured it!

Felix Darcy is the infamous serial killer known as The Carver. Do I have to tell you what he does to earn that nickname or can you use your imagination? The second the man arrived in Alabaster Penitentiary, he's been a unique mystery. He's a brutal killer to some, and a thoughtful friend to others. The fact that we're introduced to him through his friendship with Dascha in Distorted really helped set the foundation of this character. But nothing prepared me for the full force that was him as the main character.

Dr Love is the antithesis to his last name. He's a psychiatrist whose luck with love is worse than his believe in it. He's also very straight. Until a very sick little monster tilts his world on its axis.

This is so much more than a dark romance. This is a twisted tale full of complex layers, secrets, betrayals, and enigmas known as The Warden. This is like the Hansel and Gretel of dark romance. There are bread crumbs dropped everywhere, you just have to keep your eyes peeled to pick them up. And when you do? Oh man. Addictive.

I loved the romance was deliciously satisfying. I loved watching Dr Love fall for his patient, in spite of his dark rep. I loved seeing the softer side to Felix. And I loved getting more and more of the gaps I had from books one and two be filled in this one.

But in typical Nyla fashion, for each of the gaps that she fills, she leaves the reader with at least double the questions. I'm already salivating for the next book because GAH. I'm addicted. Completely addicted.
ARC courtesy of author in exchange for an honest review

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[Kaity · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audio:
4.5 stars to Walker Williams (Felix)
1 star to Brent Billings (Lem)-he honestly ruined the book for me…
Book: 2.5-3 stars (DNF @ 65% aka page 301, skimmed to the end), the slump continues to win😭

Can be read as a standalone.

Okay, the beginning had such promise I liked reading Felix’s pov, he was such an interesting character… Lem on the other hand was interesting, but his narrator really killed this book for me. Brent Billings, he had a good Lem voice, but once he had to do any other character it was horrendous, especially Felix’s voice.

So because of that I kinda stopped caring once they started to get together..idk

Overall I can see why this was a popular book/series, but they could be at least 100 pages shorter haha.

[lakshmi · Rating 4 out of 5]

not me reading a book about a gay psycho serial killer who’s nicknamed the carver and believes he needs to kill and thinking “ but why’s he kinda..?”

[babygyalreadit · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOWWWWW

This was my most anticipated book in the series from all the glimpses we got of Felix starting in Distorted and boy did Nyla leave no stone unturned. This is a very complex and addicting story between a psychopathic serial killer and a psychiatrist who’s life mission is to get inside the head of someone just like him to pick apart wether he was born like this or his circumstances made him who he is.

If you like anything criminal minds or true crime person you will eat this book up. It was so eloquently written and thought out. All the groundwork and foundation laid out in the two previous books make this one so much more enjoyable. You could help but want the relationship between doctor and his patient to grow.

The relationship itself was very complicated yet it made all the sense in the world why these two would just fit together. Felix having serious daddy and abandonment issues and Lem being intrigued and giddy with his new possession. The Ivory did bring him in just for Felix after all. Getting inside or his head was the most fun part of this for me. While yes this does discuss some dark matter it didn’t feel like that much of a dark romance to me.

I enjoyed this book the most out of the series and I’m shocked because I really didn’t know if anyone would be able to take Distorteds spot but Nyla really outdid herself with this one. It is a thick boy but I promise you’ll get to the end and want more. Now the spice? I think it goes without saying you’ll have unlimited amount of kitty butterflies reading this. One word: sonogram. This is book 3 in the series and they are interconnected standalones but I HIGHLY recommend reading them in order. As always please check your TW Nyla has it pinned on Instagram her page and at the beginning of the book. Happy reading !

[Jan · Rating 3 out of 5]

*** 3.5 stars ****

I was left with mixed feelings about this book.
Still, hands down the best in this series so far.
It was more focused on both main characters and tight in terms of storyline.



The story gripped me from the start but lost me in the middle, to the point of thinking about giving up. I soldiered through because I needed to know how it would end. The twist and turns in the last 20% pulled me back in and got me invested again.

So, why not give it more than 3 stars if it was better than the others?
The Carver is the answer. I couldn't feel him as a serial killer. I didn't feel his craziness. I wasn't scared of him. Some of the things he used to joke and say about himself felt off.



Now, Dr Love was really convincing! Kudos to the author for developing such an interesting and believable psychiatrist.



This series is so fucked up, it's definitely for the lovers of depraved and disturbing.
I can't wait to read the warden's story!!!

[Sarah]

Unsure on the rating. I need to stop reading this authors notes as they actually make me dislike the book more than the actual story. This definitely had parts that I liked, but as with all the authors work it’s dragged out and clocks in at 480 repetitive pages.

I found the depiction of the serial killer Felix Darcey and the descriptions around his upbringing influencing his life choices, his method of killing people and his actions with the bodies interesting and well created. I was then extremely disappointed to learn upon reading the afterward that all of that is very closely based on Jeffrey Dahmer the serial killer. The author calls them Easter Eggs but that’s not how think of Easter eggs in books. This was his upbringing, the type of parents he had, his early schooling life, his brother, even the story of him having a head trauma. It then describes how he got into killing, how he chose his victims and chopped/manipulated the bodies etc down to the same details of using his bathtub and cuddling them after they died. It was basically a retelling of the Jeffrey Dahmer story which I appreciate and is great but I would have preferred to know this in the blurb or foreword as I was under the impression this was all the authors own ideas whilst reading the book. Some of the details aren’t Jeffery Dahmers story but instead taken from other serial killers like the details of his arrest but the way he become known to police with the escape of a victim was directly from Dahmer. There is plenty of reccs in the afterward to true crime podcasts etc and other serial killers that the author has taken her ideas from, I’m not complaining about lack of credit but I just would have preferred to know this prior to getting into the story.

Although I enjoyed the serial killer details and initial slow burn of the first half I found this book had more graphic rape in it than I like to read and I skimmed a lot of scenes.

[Lyn❤Loves❤Listening to Real Voices Only!!!!❤️🎧📚 Addict ON HIATUS · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audio - 4.5 Stars
BB - 4 Stars
WW - 5 Stars!

Story - 4 Stars

I didn't mind the dark and twisted mind of Felix, but I wasn't too crazy about him being modeled so closely to a real-life popular serial killer. The author is talented enough that she could have made him more original. That's the only reason the story wasn't 5 stars.

Looking forward to book 4!!

[Megan [At The Cottage] · Rating 4 out of 5]

MM Romance
Serial Killer/Therapist
3.75 Stars ⭐️

2024 Ugly Cover Challenge: Reading books I’ve had on my TBR forever and put off due to their covers. This has been in my KU library for over a year 🤦🏻‍♀️ It’s not the guy that puts me off but that acid yellow color (hate it) and the fact it’s 500+ pages made it even less appealing but the trope was too good to pass up.

🎵Narrated by: Walker Williams & Brent Billings🎵 Both narrators were new to me and I liked them however Brent voiced Dr. Love and because this isn’t a duet, I couldn’t stand the way he made Felix sound especially during sex scenes. 😭 He made Felix sound like that creepy old guy in Family Guy, Herbert the Pervert, that is always lusting after Chris during his newspaper route and it was just a tad traumatic so I only listened to 40% of this before I returned it and picked up the book instead. Therefore I don’t really recommend the audiobook however I did like both narrators and I’d listen to them on something else especially Walker because his voice fit Felix perfectly and he also did a complimentary Dr. Love.

So, I guess the most important thing to know about this book is that it’s part of a series that should be read in order because each book follows the same timeline and everything overlaps. The first book (MM) in the series is a mindfuck that I hated until I read book 2 (MMF) which was not only fuckhot but made me see book 1 in a completely different way and both those books introduced us to Felix Darcey aka The Carver aka a serial killer and it became clear his love interest was going to be his therapist. Serial killer/Therapist?? Hello! True crime junkie over here 🙋🏻‍♀️ However, all that said, if you have no interest in books 1 or 2, I think this can still be read anyway but just know it will majorly spoil the first two books if you ever want to read them. Just a heads up. The reason I think this can read away from the rest is because the therapist is new to the island and a lot of the info I would have been lost about if I had just jumped into previous books was explained here by the new doctor and it backtracks Felix to right before book one started so it will give you a behind the scenes look at everything just without the hidden Easter eggs that I have from reading both books.

So, this is a slowwww burn and I didn’t mind it because it would have made no sense for them to just start going at it especially since Dr. Love has never been with men. Once these two get on the same page though, it was so fucking hot. 🥵 Nyla K does a fantastic job writing smut and this book had all kinds of kink and dirty talk and everything else I expect from this author. The romance itself was actually quite sweet, surprisingly, especially their pet names for each other but I did find myself checking out a bit around 60-70% just because it was so long. However, this book picked up speed after that and I was on my toes because of island and everything going on. The Ivory really creeps me out. 😬

However, the part I was the most interested in besides the romance was what this serial killer was going to be like and this is where I was the most disappointed and it’s what’s preventing me from rating this higher. People who aren’t true crime junkies like me will probably find Felix pretty terrifying and interesting but unfortunately for me, Felix was heavily based on Jeffery Dahmer (minus the cannibalism) and I didn’t like this choice. Nyla K has a fantastical twisted mind and the ability to make her own monster so choosing to base Felix on someone who already exists felt so lazy to me especially when learning she’s a true crime junkie herself. Why not make your own? There were case files used as a back story for how Felix got to where he is now and while some of it differed, I just felt dejavu the entire time and it saddened and bored me at times if I’m honest. These feel like me problems but they did affect my overall feeling towards the book. That being said, I’m excited to read the next book even though I know the reviews were mixed but unlike some others, I really couldn’t care less about either character in the next book so whatever journey Nyla takes me on, I have absolutely none of the expectations I had going into this one. I felt the same way about book 2 and loved it so I’m hopeful.

[Mug · Rating 4 out of 5]

that ultrasound scene tho…….insanely hot y’all🤤 like omfgggg WILDDDD !!!

but ummm that whole 10in, no prep, the barest amount of spit for lube, in some sort of weird revenge-ish fuck to hurt felix bc LEM is struggling with his own feelings and hates that he’s losing control so he takes it out on felix is crazyyyyy😵‍💫 i got massive ick from that so strong that i couldn’t recover after that…..it just hit me the wrong way….the investment i had in them just slowly dwindled after that….

also there are cameras in every room and they know they’re being recorded and the warden has access to all the cameras and they’re just fucking anyway🤣🤣🤣 lord that stressed me outttt like maybe try to be a little bit more subtle??? like jesus lmaoo💀💀💀 and some of the dirty talk was a little….corny…at times, just a little bit too much…and most of the time felix was giving harmless puppy, like he wasn’t giving scary or fearsome, which i both liked and didn’t like.

but i loved the bde lem was bringing bc felix is all like “what if i decide to kill you? aren’t u afraid?” and lem is all like “okayyy??? i wouldn’t fucking let you, like you literally couldn’t take me down so idgaf” okay SWOON🤣🤣 and u know what was also giving swoon? lem’s badass, could’ve been in a movie moment, threatening his uncle:

“There are only two things you can do with a rabid dog. Cage him or put him down. You should have taken the cage.” 🎵DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNN🎵

and then lem viciously slaughtered him and the only thing missing that could have made that scene better is if lem carved his face, like paying homage to his man!!!!! ughhhh i would’ve been literally jumping for joy, but he didn’t smh😔

and speaking of joy, i gotta give a shoutout to her bc my girl ate up every single appearance in this book, i love her, like her nicknames for felix were so cute, and she’s just better than anyone else ever like she can’t do no wrong😍

and the ivoryyy….man continues to intrigue me so baddd, i need a book about him right the fuck now👇😤……pllsssss🥺🙏

so all in all, it was good, but it definitely disappointed me some rip😔😔 3.5 stars⭐️

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay this was just so good. Nyla managed to actually make me feel bad and root for a sociopathic serial killer. This is a great book for lovers of true crime.

As with other books in this series, some questions were answered while others were raised. The relationship between this sociopath and his psychiatrist was amazing. It's a slow burn and somewhat hard fought for. Also had some very unique sex scenes.

I loved the part where the other "doctor" got what he deserved 😈 IYKYK

Tropes:
Forbidden
Doctor/Patient
Slow burn
Bi-awakening
Hurt/comfort
Touch him and die
Revenge
Vigilante


POTENTIAL SPOILERS IN TRIGGER WARNINGS BELOW
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.
.
.
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TW's
Rape (on page, not between MCs)
Murder
Torture
Death
Child rape (off page but with slight detail)
Trauma
Blood play
Knife play
Dub con

[Erika Braga · Rating 5 out of 5]

Putting the review now but I read it in 2022. For some reason I never reviewed !


OH FELIX. 😭🤯😭🤯😭🤯

I can’t even begin to explain the things this book did to me !!!!!! This is not the type of book I want to review. I want you to go in as blind as possible ! Enjoy the ride !

[Nelly S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.25 stars

tw: murder, torture, stalking, rape, suicidal thoughts, mention of childhood sexual assault

“This is why I don’t hook up with straight guys. Every interaction is followed by all this self-doubt and reflection. It stresses me out. I have enough going on myself, what with me murdering my sexual partners and all. I don’t have time to worry about them questioning their identities.”

I really wanted to love this but I didn’t, which is a shame because I went into it craving something really dark and depraved. The premise was so promising: a single-minded criminal psychiatrist obsessed with serial killers, Lem aka Dr. Love, has carte blanche to study Felix aka The Carver at the ultra secret Alabaster penitentiary. Maybe I’ve become desensitized since there was plenty of gore and smut, but it wasn’t to my taste and left me pretty cold.

The first half was strong and the concept is great, but the execution could have been better. The saving grace, however, was that the story was entertaining. Nyla K is a good writer and the action and pacing is such that I never noticed how long it was (649 pages!). But the smut was disappointing—it was corny and the dirty talk cheesy. Knife play usually scares the heck out of me, but this time I just found it hilarious. I was never invested in Felix’s and Lem’s relationship because I didn’t really care for either character. Felix was more interesting, but I couldn’t be bothered about Lem.

[patrícia]

“Well, I don’t deserve any of this. But I’ll fucking take it.”

Well, ain't that the truth!

I felt uncomfortable reading this book. So how do I even rate this? 2? 3? Maybe later I can decide.

First of all—BIG. ASS. BOOK. Like… unnecessarily big. I swear it felt endless at times.
The timeline overlapping with previous books started to drag; we’re stuck reliving the same events from slightly different angles. We get a few more glimpses of The Ivory ( another unremediable asshole in fancy clothes), but nothing significant enough to justify the length. The repetition gets exhausting.

I didn’t really care for either of them; honestly, I just wanted Felix as far away from civilization as possible. Some things can’t be redeemed.That’s the dilemma here. Deep down, I want to believe everyone is redeemable—but then someone like Felix walks in and makes me doubt that. If I think too much about what Felix and Lem did, it’s horrifying. Even for dark romance. I can handle morally grey heroes killing “bad guys” or messy, violent justice, but when it crosses into innocent victims? No. That’s where it turns from dark to rotten.

And yet, I kept going. I was rooting for them—well, maybe not rooting, more like morbidly curious. Both Felix and Lemuel are so cold about everything and everyone around them that it’s hard to feel much beyond unease. But the passion between them? That’s another story—so uncontrolled, so impossible to stop it almost burns through the page.

I almost DNF’d this one around 40% (which, for a 600-page book, is already a small lifetime), but I pushed through because DNF’ing feels like a sin, and I was curious af, yeah! Around the halfway mark, something shifted. Maybe it was the smut—because let’s be real, Nyla’s smut always hits. It’s HOOOOOOOT, but sometimes it tips straight into porny. Still… It worked. Against my better judgment, it worked.

Somewhere in the madness, there are flickers of tenderness—tiny cracks showing that maybe, just maybe, Felix and Lem aren’t entirely hollow. Felix especially feels like a man wired wrong, but still painfully needy full of daddy issues, human. And damn it, I… sort of went with it. Ish. Heavy emphasis on ish. And omg they have the most LAME AF declarations while fucking and when not, sometimes its toooo much. 😅😅😅😅

But it seems unfair, for others convicts , because some of them really didn't do this level of butchery and still live in miserable conditions, while Killer Bee here gets a room with books and music, baths and hot food on request…

She really tried to make us like them, to romanticize monsters—and in some twisted way, it kind of worked for a bit. But some actions can’t be washed away. The sheer enjoyment they took in what they did made my skin crawl. So I close this book feeling… bothered. I didn’t like it, but I also didn’t hate reading it. But maybe that’s exactly what Nyla wanted—to leave us unsettled. If so, mission accomplished.

I have to mention that I liked the involvement of knight, queen and Rook in the end, Team Chevelle to the win!

Thank you Bárbara (or not) for walking with me through this—for the most part lol. Venting with you is always the best thing ever! 💀💬

P.S. The smut smuted. Hard.



⚠️Author TWs⚠️
Graphic depictions of stalking, extreme violence, murder & gore (i.e. strangulation, stabbing, dismemberment, etc.)
Fictionalized depictions of prison life (starvation, poor conditions)
Severe mental illness/sociopathy
Graphic depictions of torture (i.e. electroshock therapy, use of hallucinogens, castration, etc)
Mention of childhood sexual assault
Sexual assault (of an MC from a non-MC)
An instance of dubious consent (from MC)
Knife & blood play
Revenge

Detailed references to serial killers & fictionalized serial killing (Not meant to be romanticized.)

❣️Book Safety & Content
Cheating: No
OM/OW Drama: No
Sharing: No
Third-Act Breakup: Yes, forced by others for some weeks
Role Dynamics: Strict roles mainly ( Lem bottoms one time on page)
POV: 1st person (dual)
Format: Series
Ending: HFN
Angst Level: Low
Spice Level: High heat
Communication: Some miscommunication
Pining: Mutual

[Lobenda☆on a year-long hiatus☆ · Rating 4 out of 5]

"𝙄'𝙢 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧, 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙄 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝘿𝙧. 𝙁𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙚𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙞𝙣, 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚."


when i first picked up brainwashed by nyla k, i was intensely curious about how their relationship would evolve because felix is a serial killer, a psychopath/sociopath; being introduced to his character and personality, it seemed impossible to hope for a connection between felix and dr. lem. but oh my god, nyla k, you never disappoint; what felix craved was affection and attention, which he never received from his family; he needed that, and this book explores the profound depth of why some people behave the way they do. individuals like felix are complex; many factors shape them: his mother’s toxic nature and borderline disorder, his desperate desire for his father’s attention, and ultimately his alter ego, the carver, emerged. dr. lem also emphasizes that felix was born this way; the human mind is intricate, and our wiring as human beings is immensely complex. dr. lem provided him with what he both wanted and needed; both were destined to complete each other. ❤
“𝗶 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆, 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘅…” 𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗹𝘀. “𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲. 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺.”

confession: i had to skip certain gore scenes 😬; i am not accustomed to very dark themes, particularly involving killers and unaliving, but that’s just me 😁.
𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐮𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡 🤭🥰:
dr. lem gave felix what he needed, and their relationship fascinated me; it developed deliberately, not rushed, with each session allowing dr. lem to study felix’s traits and personality. i felt like i was genuinely observing a therapist and patient; nyla k created the characters with meticulous attention and dedication, and her research is evident. felix remained true to himself; he did not miraculously repent, but he gained clarity and understanding of his tendencies, which was both enlightening and believable.
there were moments that made me blush and gave me butterflies ☺
“𝗴𝗼 𝗮𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱, 𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗼𝘆. 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝗲? 𝗻𝗼𝘄’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲.”
“𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁. 𝗶 𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂.”
“𝗶… 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗯𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀. 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲,” 𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗽𝘀. “𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮 𝗯𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘆𝗿𝘂𝗽.”
𝗶 𝗲𝘆𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆; 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻, 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀. “𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲?”
“𝗯-𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗼𝗻.” 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀.
here, dr. lem challenges him, yet our felix just wants a blueberry pancake; it is clear he is nervous and unsure of lem’s words ☺. my killer bee is such a brat.🤭

“𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙣, 𝙗𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙞 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙢 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙠𝙞𝙘𝙠𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙤𝙙𝙮; 𝙞’𝙢 𝙫𝙞𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙨 𝙞 𝙨𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙠; 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙛… 𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙪𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙚 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚.”
this was the moment dr lem finally relented and kissed him, i melted; it was irresistibly romantic and tender.🥰

"𝗜𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁’𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀?" 😫.
dr. lem, you have also become my want and need. 🤭😁

“𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙄 𝙨𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜?” 𝙄 𝙖𝙨𝙠, 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙖𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙚𝙩𝙨. 𝙃𝙚’𝙨 𝙣𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙙… 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙤 𝙖𝙢 𝙄."
this was like a dream, i was so curious how their relationship will develop knowing who felix is and dr love being his psychiatrist.

"𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄’𝙢 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝙄𝙩’𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙… 𝙏𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛. 𝘼𝙘𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙."
"𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙣, 𝙢𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡 𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩, 𝙝𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚. 𝙃𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙪𝙥 𝙩𝙤 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙖��𝙫𝙚𝙧, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙖𝙢𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙁𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭 𝘿𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙚𝙮, 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙚𝙙."
this. this. this right here, felix was missing this in his life. my baby psycho ☹💜.

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺, 𝘩𝘰𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 scene 😁🔥🌶:
“𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘁𝘁 𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝗺 𝘃𝗶𝗮 𝗮𝗻 𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱—𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝘆𝗲𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲.”
“𝗵𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗯𝘀 𝗺𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘆 𝗺𝗲; ‘𝗶’𝗺 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝘁, 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗶 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝘂𝗺 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂; 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗮 𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗽, 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱?"
“𝗺𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗿𝗶𝘀𝘁, 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁.” 🤣🙏

𝗱𝗿. 𝗹𝗲𝗺𝘂𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝘂𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆:
i'am so fond of dr. love; his family were the true monsters, proud and malicious.
“𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁?” 𝗶 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵, 𝗸𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆; “𝗶 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗶 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲; 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴.”
my satisfaction here was over the roof; they needed a reality check.

my review may appear long and excessive, but i had to highlight my favorite moments, which were crucial 😁; if you read this far, i applaud you 😅

brainwashed was highly addictive, and plot-wise, it was phenomenal; a remarkable story.
𝗺𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗽𝗲: i wish lem had been honest with felix about cameron kline; cameron was felix’s first, and his past tendencies were intertwined with cam; felix deserved that knowledge.
also, as is common in my recent reads,
the ending could have been stronger, later chapters became overly sweet and idealized, it wasn’t entirely bad or unsatisfying, but for crying out loud, the characters who are supposed to be criminals in a prison setting were portrayed unrealistically soft, which didn’t match the harsh and stoic personalities we saw earlier in the side characters; it felt almost too good to be true.
i was also left wondering what became of his parents and brother.

𝙖𝙡𝙖𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙧𝙮
honestly, the way Nyla K described alabaster penitentiary and the mansion, i'd stay there for a vacation, it’s secluded, surrounded by the sea, and the place just sounds strangely beautiful.
𝗧𝗿𝗼𝗽𝗲𝘀
*age gap
*daddy/brat vibe
*psychiatrist/patient
*forced proximity
*anti-heroes
*prison setting
*obsession
𝗰𝘄/𝘁𝘄
*mental health/trauma
*sexual assault/r*pe
* kidnapping/captive

🎶 sweet but psycho🎶
🎶 take me to church🎶
🎶 father figure 🎶
🎶 sweet night by v of BTS 🎶
🎶 call it what you want🎶

my review exceeded the word limit, so i had to edit it. 🥺😔

[❤️ Nanda ❤️ · Rating 4 out of 5]

RTC

⭐⭐⭐💫

[Jess Brady · Rating 5 out of 5]

*ARC received from author in exchange for my honest review. *

⚠️ Check your triggers people. ⚠️

Welcome back to Alabaster Penitentiary where the inmates are hot, and their keepers are hotter. Nyla said that Joyless was a "palette cleanser" before we got into the depravity and darkness that is Brainwashed, and she wasn't kidding.

Felix Darcey is a sociopath. He doesn't feel remorse for his crimes, he isn't going to be saved. This is not a redemption story for The Carver.

Dr. Love just landed the job of a lifetime. To get inside the mind of one of the most notorious serial killers of this century. He just never took into account that Felix Darcey would get into this mind as well.

Brainwashed was much more than a twisted love story between a doctor and his patient. It was a dark psychological thriller where we get to see the makings of a killer. Not only his past and what led him down the path he was on but the choices he made that led him to becoming The Carver.

The professional relationship between Dr. Love and Felix was mesmerizing. I was fully entranced during their sessions seeing the way Felix took in everything that was Dr. Love. Early on you see that Felix becomes obsessed but that transforms slowly over time. As Dr. Love dives deeper into the mind of a killer you see that Felix is much more than the world thinks he is. He might be a monster but even monsters have a heart.

As the professional relationship morphs into a relationship of lust, want and need Dr. Love becomes almost a bigger enigma than Darcey. The way Lem watches him is so filthy, and you can tell the good doctor is wanting to crawl into more than the mind of The Carver. He wants to crawl into every aspect that is The Carver and own him.

"Show me how you come, you sick little monster."

I don't know how Nyla does it, but with every book of hers I read I become more enthralled by the worlds that she creates. Alabaster Penitentiary is a place to be feared and the inmates are as dark as they come. It isn't until you are deep into your second glass of wine, and third change of panties that you realize this world is consuming you from the inside out.

Get ready to fall in love with The Carver and his twisted Dr. Love!!

[Emna · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Felix Darcey has weaved his way through the fibers of me. He’s a poison in my veins… And I have no interest in the antidote."
Okaaaay i got the hype, and I'm so Glad that I did .( My struggles with joyless has paid off apparently 🤣)
This one got me screaming, giggling, laughing out LOUD 📢, tearing up over two psycho men I have no business being attached to, or MESMERIZED BY.
Lemfelix carved their way into my heart OMFG , you can't deny the electricity between them, it's Always there, clear and palpable
I'm maniacally in love with Lem and Felix . They fit perfectly I mean PERFECTLY. This was an epic story but i truthfully had I a really good time from the beginning to the end. I cried a lot throughout the last chapters but they were tears of joy of love , I love them so , such a great couple
Bringing up dash was the best part for Me because I am obsessed with this guy and I never see myself get over him In a million years , my sweetest guy

[N · Rating 5 out of 5]

Obsessed. Thats all I can really say. I savoured every bit of this book & ate it up! It was so good omg definitely in my top books of the year. Nyla K did her shit with this🫠 (ofc)

[mehta · Rating 5 out of 5]

my morals were fucked with and an intensely compelling portrayal of a very problematic character (felix darcey) was shown. what's not to love?

[Than 🪷 (Hiatus) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 ⭐s - This book has me so conflicted and I still don’t know what to feel even after a few days of trying to process it! I definitely enjoyed it and haven’t stopped thinking about it since I finished.

🩸 The Plot:

Dr. Lemuel Love PhD, a well-respected psychiatrist, is hired to conduct research on Felix Darcey, also known as “The Carver”- one of the most notorious serial killers out there, with 35 victims to his name. He’s held in Alabaster Penitentiary, an undetected, government-funded prison that’s kept under wraps and houses the worst of the worst. It’s a dark, taboo doctor/patient MM romance with several graphic scenes, so check those trigger warnings before diving in.

🩸 My Thoughts + The Characters:

The first 50% was an easy 5 stars for me, and it was surprising since there’s hardly any romance between Lem and Felix, or even much interaction. I think I was so invested because I’m fascinated by serial killers and true crime (I studied psychology for six years and have a degree in it). Understanding why killers do what they do, examining their environment and mindset - it’s captivating for me, and the book really delves into this.

Nyla captures the intrigue so well. We get Felix’s and Lem’s perspectives, plus flashbacks to Felix’s childhood, which gives a disturbing look at his upbringing (surprise surprise - a dysfunctional mum and an absent, workaholic dad). The therapy sessions are especially interesting because they reveal Felix’s reasoning behind each murder and Lem’s own analysis of him. Even though it’s fiction, seeing how Lem interprets Felix’s words and diagnoses him is gripping enough that I forgot this was supposed to be a romance novel.

Lem starts off strictly professional, keeping Felix at arm's length despite Felix’s obvious crush and his bold attempts to make it known. Lem holds firm, constantly reminding Felix he’s only here to do research and nothing more:

꒰➳ "This isn't therapy. We won't be discussing your feelings and the instances that have led you to become the man you are in order to fix you. You cannot be fixed."

HOWEVER, as his research progresses, he starts unravelling. Ivy, the prison owner who hired Lem, promised him there would be “no limits” to his research, encouraging him to dig deep into Felix’s mind until every layer is peeled back. Well, Lem definitely takes “no limits” to heart as the story progresses, leading to scenes that had me cringing and needing a break every few minutes. He’s blurring lines hard, and I can’t decide if I’m fascinated or horrified:

꒰➳ “The problem is that I did what I did in the name of research. And Felix is physically incapable of remorse.”

At first, I thought it was reverse psychology, that Lem had a plan. Being a respected doctor, surely he had a strategy to get into Felix’s head for the research. But nope. Lem genuinely falls for this psycho and honestly, I did too. It’s confusing because it’s unsettling to find yourself rooting for a serial killer! I was totally brainwashed by this book (obviously, I’d never feel this way in real life - this is pure fiction).

Felix, for his part, is alarmingly self-aware. He knows he’s different and even embraces it:

꒰➳ “I don't need to be fixed. I don't want to be. The world needs people like us. The evil to balance out the good. The monsters under their beds, the fear. Fear is important, after all. It reminds us that we're alive.”

Nyla does a fantastic job writing Felix’s character, because despite knowing I shouldn’t like him, she draws you in with his charisma and I fell right into it.

what doesn’t sit right with me is how Felix is treated like royalty, even though he’s the most dangerous prisoner. Lem spoils him with takeout, Calvin Klein underwear (yes, CK in prison!), mansion privileges, and even beach trips. There’s a moral conflict there that had me raising my eyebrows. Sure, I like him, but he’s a serial killer. It feels wrong that he’s living like a king with the love of his life while all his victims are forgotten.

Clearly, I’m super conflicted. I like Felix and Lem, but I still feel uneasy about it all, which I think means Nyla did a fantastic job - this isn’t a story meant to feel comforting or straightforward.

◃───────────▹
[Pre-read] - "To all the true-crime-loving bloody little psychos out there. Remember... Being weird is cool. Hail yourselves!"

[Abstract ♥ Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

ALL MY REVIEWS CAN BE FOUND ON MY BLOG: ABSTRACT BOOKS

If I’m your Want, then you’re my Need.”

Star Rating : 4.5/5 Stars

POV : Dual

Cliffhanger : None

Hero : Lemuel Love

Hero : Felix Darcey

Pace of the story : Moderate

Angst Rating : 7/10

Heat Rating : 7/10

Triggers Involved : Non Con , prison , torture and more

Don’t talk to me,” he gurgles. “Yer a curse.”
I can’t help the snort of laughter that gusts out.
“Thank you. I take that as a compliment.”

Plot Summary :
Felix Darcey is a known serial killer. People think that something must have happened to make him this way. Something is wrong in his brain. Which is why ever since he has been in the Alabaster Penitentiary, he has been the subject of many examinations. Doctors love to torment him and he hates them for it. He hates giving up his control so that they can observe him like a lab rat. That is until the one profession he hates is the most ends up being his biggest obsession.

Doctor Lemuel Love never had an easy life. With a negligent family , he was doomed right from the start. He tries so hard to curb his instincts. To not give into the temptation of observing the brains of serial killers , to observe what makes them tick. Because the reason he likes to observe their twist is not because of scientific research. It's just plain happiness. He likes seeing them work. He is not disgusted by it. He loves it. All his restrictions are removed when he gets the once in a lifetime opportunity to visit the biggest prison and observe one of the greatest serial killers of all time who is known to be dead to the public eye but is being kept in the prison. Felix Darcey.

Overall Opinion :
Dr. Love is here! I swear I laughed so bad at his name. Not because it's a bad name. But because it's just opposite to how the man himself is 🤣 He probably is one of the most detached, coldest heroes of all time and then this name, just made me laugh so bad.

Felix and Lemuel are absolutely on fire. Based on their personality and the fact that this book is a true crime romance, I did not expect this much steam lmao, but it was so good.

Definitely recommending this standalone to all the Dark MM romance lovers. The standalone books are connected so I recommend that you read them in order to avoid spoilers of the last books. There are also a lot of triggers like non con, lab torture and much more.

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