If I Can't Have You

by G.M. Lawrence

Freya’s husband made her one simple promise – I will find you.Freya has recently escaped from her violent and abusive husband, Liam, and has moved to the city where she is fighting to build a new life for herself.But she knows in her heart that Liam won’t give up so easily, that he’ll do everything in his power to find her and bring her back.Determined to stay hidden, Freya keeps a very low profile. But then she notices a young woman, Ava, who seems to be caught up in an abusive relationship. Knowing only too well the kind of anguish Ava may be enduring, Freya decides to get involved and save Ava from her partner, Elliot.But when Freya calls the police, she inadvertently reveals her whereabouts to Liam who soon comes to see her. He seems a different man, contrite, tender, full of apologies. But is it all an act?And Freya has other problems – Elliot isn’t pleased that she interfered in his relationship and is becoming ever more menacing.Caught between these two terrifying men, can Freya confront her past and hold onto the future she’s fought so hard to create?If I Can’t Have You – the chilling psychological thriller, perfect for fans of Freida McFadden, Daniel Hurst, K L Slater.

Genres: Thriller, Fiction

Kindle Edition

Published January 14, 2024

About the author

G.M. Lawrence writes fast-paced, standalone psychological suspense novels that can be read in any order. Her stories explore the darker side of everyday life, often shining a light on the hidden struggles and silent battles many women face.

All of her novels are set in London; a deliberate choice, as she loves researching and drawing on its vibrant energy and layered history. With strong family ties to the capital, her roots run deep, making it the perfect backdrop for her stories of secrets, lies, and deadly twists.

She lives in Hampshire with her husband, daughter, and two chaotic cats. When she isn’t writing, she works for a busy community interest company, spends time with her family, and enjoys crafting to keep herself away from the endless scroll of social media.

Previously published under Gemma M. Lawrence, she now publishes under G.M. Lawrence.

Reviews

[Shirley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow what a tense and utterly gripping read, Freya has escaped her abusive husband, Liam and has moved to a city to build a new life for herself.

All the way through this book I was rooting for Freya and really hoping she could escape Liam, this was definitely an unputdownable read.

[Danielle-Gemma💜 · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the first two thirds of this but the ending for me felt like a rush and ended up being very atypical of this type of novel and I felt it sold the beginning of this book very short!
I would try another book by this author for sure though and just hope for a better ending!

[Jody · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I Can't Have You is a captivating tale of survival and resilience. Freya, the protagonist, finds herself trapped in a violent and abusive relationship. However, she manages to escape and relocate to an unfamiliar city, hoping to start afresh.

The author skillfully portrays the devastating impact abuse can have on an individual's life and the courage it takes to overcome it. Freya's journey is inspiring as she navigates the challenges of rebuilding her life and seeking justice for her past.

The character development is exceptional, particularly regarding Freya and Liam. Both characters are complex and multifaceted, making it difficult to discern their true motives. This ambiguity adds depth and intrigue to the story, keeping the readers engaged and guessing.

If I Can't Have You is a powerful and thought-provoking novel that will resonate with abuse victims and inspire them to find strength and resilience. It is a must-read for anyone who wants a deeper understanding of the complexities of domestic violence and the challenges faced by those who escape it.

Thank you to Booksprout and Inkubator Books for allowing me to read and review this book.

[Kristina Anderson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to BookSprout for the ARC (Advance Reader Copy) of If I Can't Have You by GM Lawrence. I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review. This book is a story of surviving domestic violence and the strength it takes to escape a toxic situation and stay free. There would be obvious triggers for some who may be experiencing or who have experienced domestic violence. The twists in the book are all predictable. It was a good book and I would recommend it to others. I gave it a 4 star rating.

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is absolutely a thriller, but it is also so much more than that. That alone makes this book a standout.

I’m sort of at a loss on how to start this review. I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes trying to think because I want to make sure I do the book the justice it deserves.

I speed read through this book, it was so good. It is easy to read and it flows very nicely. I absolutely loved Freya. While I have been very lucky and have not been in a relationship with domestic violence, I thought the author really got it right with Freya. From her going back to the relationship, thinking things could change, to covering for him etc… The character was a perfect depiction of victims/survivors. There is a little twist in this book that the author also handled really well towards the end. I don’t want to say more than that because I don’t want to give it away.

Lawrence really showed that anyone can be a victim/survivor of domestic violence. I don’t want to say too much on that topic since I cannot speak from experience and don’t want to say the wrong thing.

Now to the thriller part! The twists were mind blowing! I had a suspicion about one or two of them and I was right, but I didn’t see the book ending the way that it did. However, I absolutely loved how the author chose to end this book. It really was a nice wrap up. I can’t wait to read more by this author.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful book

The cover is what initially drew me to this book... before I even read the Blurb, I knew I HAD to read the Blurb. It is very dark and foreboding.

The very first page was hard read for me as you are introduced to Freya, our main character and who this entire story revolves around.

She is in the hospital... badly injured from an 'accident'. My heart just broke for her.

Here is a woman who is trapped in an abusive marriage, and this is the first thing we see when we meet her.

This is very clever of Gemma as you are introduced to Freya at her lowest, and the reader then gets to see her claw her way back out and try and patch her life together.

The entire book is brilliantly written, and I have no issues with admitting that various parts actually made me cry (which is no easy feat in literature). Freya is such a fantastic and realistic character. You can't help but fall in love with her.

At times, this book is harrowing, but it is just part of seeing Freya develop.

Domestic violence is such a common but often deemed shameful (by the victim), and I am sure there will be many people out there that could empathise with what happened, Freya. It is great that awareness has been brought to such an important topic.

I can't thank you enough, Gemma, for writing such a powerful novel that deals with such a delicate topic so respectfully.

I highly recommend this amazing book.

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

[Esther Bultitude · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a tense domestic noir where I feared for Freya’s safety almost constantly through the book.

Her fear of her abusive husband led her to fear most men she met and as you’d expect a narcissistic sociopath to act, he managed to convince others that he was the good guy.

There were a few twists to the domestic abuse theme; some you’d expect and some you might not.

I did really enjoy this although I was screaming at her in my head ‘red flag! Red flag!’ and was hoping Freya wouldn’t let Liam back in her life.

[Lisa Willis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Freya is beaten up constantly by her husband Liam. The one time he goes too far she manages to get away to her sisters and try and start a new life. But will Liam let her?

Considering what Freya went through she was very strong and resilient. I loved her character. I detested Liam more and more throughout the book. A horrible man who thought he could abuse his power to get his own way.

The book had me gripped from the first chapter. Some parts of it were lovely and made my heart lift and then other parts were so tense and had me on edge.

[Hailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

A novel that gripped my shoulders and never let go until i finished the very last sentence. A woman, suffering abuse from her husband, decides enough is enough and runs away the first chance she gets when he leaves for work. A novel full of survival with a character that won't stop until she's safe and out of harms way. What follows is a gripping, shocking, creepy but at some points heartfelt of a woman looking for her happy ever after. What a wild and crazy ride with an ending I never saw coming.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Inkubator Books for this ARC.

This was my first book by this author and overall I’d rate it three stars.
I personally did not find this to be a ‘psychological thriller’ minus a few chapters. Character building was good, my heart broke for Freya and anger built for Liam. It was a steady paced book but one that people absolutely need to check TW’s for.

[Tasha Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I Can’t Have You is a powerful story about a young woman trying to rebuild her life after experiencing domestic violence. Freya’s character development throughout the book had me rooting for her and I thought the twist near the end was interesting. Definitely an easy read that you won’t want to put down.

[Meg · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Trigger warning - domestic violence and abuse, drug abuse, sexual assault.

This book was intense and graphic. Sometimes difficult to read but also some shocking curves that draw you in. Very powerful + genuine raw emotion from Freya. Proceed with caution!!

[Sue Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

If I can't have you by G.M. Lawrence.
Freya hopes there’s one man she never sees again. Her husband. Freya has recently escaped from her violent and abusive husband, Liam, and has moved to the city where she is fighting to build a new life for herself.
This was a really good read. I liked Freya and her sister Rosie. I really didn't like Liam. He was a bully. I loved how brave Freya was. The strength she had to leave Liam. I loved how she fought for Ava aswell. Elliot was another bully. Couldn't put it down. Ooh I certainly didn't see that coming . I did like Jake. I knew Liam was still Liam. I did like the ending. 4*.

Blurb.
Freya hopes there’s one man she never sees again. Her husband. Freya has recently escaped from her violent and abusive husband, Liam, and has moved to the city where she is fighting to build a new life for herself. But she knows in her heart that Liam won’t give up so easily, that he’ll do everything in his power to find her and bring her back. Determined to stay hidden, Freya keeps a very low profile. But then she notices a young woman, Ava, who seems to be caught up in an abusive relationship. Knowing only too well the kind of anguish Ava may be enduring, Freya decides to get involved and save Ava.
This was a really good read. I liked Freya and her sister Rosie. I really didn't like Liam. He was a bully. I loved how brave Freya was. The strength she had to leave Liam. I loved how she fought for Ava aswell. Elliot was another bully. Couldn't put it down. Ooh I certainly didn't see that coming . I did like Jake. I knew Liam was still Liam. I did like the ending. 4*.

[Sonja Charters · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm coming to realise that I absolutely love books by this author!
This is my third read now and it's another page-turner and 5* read for me!

Given the topic of this one, I was immediately put on edge and glued to the pages!
The tension is felt right from the start and it doesn't let up until the very last page!

I had a soft spot for Freya - such a kind-hearted woman, even when it came to putting herself back in a dangerous position, she did it just to help another.
I could totally relate to this, especially having been in that position herself, Freya knew the signs to look for and also ways to help - but at what cost!

I honestly couldn't put this down once I'd started as I was in a constant state of anxiety and on the edge of my seat, racing to see whether the women would have a satisfactory outcome.

Such a difficult subject to broach but well written and another great gripping read.

[Sharon Valler: Live Love Read Review · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoy G. M. Lawrence’s writing style and this is a gritty and harrowing story of domestic abuse. Freya knows that next time her husband, Liam, beats her, may well be the time he kills her and so she runs.

Freya’s fear of leaving her flat and her reactions to situations she found herself in were chilling and I felt so anguished for what she had suffered.

The characters were well developed and it was an enjoyable read, but I did feel it was a bit too predictable and I guessed the twists early on and so I wasn’t as gripped as I expected to be, having read “When I Know Your Name” and loved it.

3 ⭐️ Thanks to Netgalley, G. M. Lawrence and Inkubator, for an ARC in return for an honest review.

[M Soh · Rating 3 out of 5]

*Provided by Inkubator through NetGalley, with my honest review below*

G.M. Lawrence has captured the tension and heartbreak that accompanies spousal violence in this domestic thriller. My heart went out to Freya and I wish I could have destroyed Liam early on (not a spoiler given book description).

Well written and well paced, I enjoyed this book but anticipated how it might play out which may be as a result of reading oodles of thrillers. I liked the development of the character of Ava, and she helped greatly with the plot. At the end of the day I just wish it was a little more unique in story.

Thank you again for the ARC, Inkubator, it is much appreciated and I enjoyed the read and the opportunity to share my feedback.

[Patricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a quick read, but was filled with graphic triggers for domestic abuse and violence. I liked that it showed Freya's growth as she fought the trauma that accompanied her marriage. It did seem that she ran into another relationship a bit too quickly, despite her misgivings. There was a good deal of interaction between Freya and her sister that I really liked, and the author showed how Freya was not the only victim of her relationship. I guessed most of the twists early on, and there was a little less suspense than I expected.

Thanks to NetGalley, Inkubator Books and Booksprout for an advance reader's copy.

[Sylvia Clark · Rating 3 out of 5]

Liam has beaten on Freya. This isn't the first time. She was able to get herself to the hospital after he disappeared
Freya finally finds the courage to escape to London, where her sister lives. Her sister helps set her up with a flat of her own.
Freya meets her neighbors, Ava and Elliot. Elliot appears to be much like Liam was. Should she help Ava or mind her own business
Liam does find Freya in London. But suddenly he's nice, that can't be right
He must have something up his sleeve
Will Freya fall for it and go back to the clutches of Liams hands, or will she learn to move on with her life and start something new with someone else
But will Liam allow her to do that

[Bobbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hooked from the first chapter!

I really really enjoyed 'If I Can't Have You' and found myself almost finishing it in a day. The main characters are loveable with Liam being absolutely detestable, which only increased as I further read the book. I didn't know I could have so much hatred for a book character.
With Liam's charming yet abusive behaviour I had no idea which male characters to trust, definitely bringing up some powerful emotions and giving me a lot to think about.

This was a great first book to start off 2024!

Thank you to G.M. Lawrence and her publishers for the ARC!

[Staceywh_17 · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second book I've read by Lawrence and it certainly didn't disappoint.

It's powerful, thought provoking and an absolutely brilliant novel that focuses on domestic abuse and one woman's escape from it all.

The characters are real, relatable and their back stories certainly give you food for thought, especially Elliott's.

I read it in one sitting as I became so invested into the plot and needed to know the outcome.

I found If I Can't Have You to be gripping, gritty and entertaining.

[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I appreciated with the book is that Freya was not a doormat throughout (thank you for that lol). I was happy with how it all ended. However, I was a bit disappointed to find that the book was written in 3rd person POV while the title is not, and it was also very slow paced. For people who love slow burn, this is it.

Thanks to Netgalley and Inkubator Books for access to this arc in exchange for my honest review.

[Kennedy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Girl being beaten, finally breaks free and finds her freedom.

It was a decent book. I really liked seeing the daily struggles of Freya reajusting to her 'normal' life after so long. I felt proud to see her do better.

I guess I wouldn't really call this a thriller? The twists at the end ended up being the best part of the book, and its a good chunk before them that you have to read to get to it.

Overall, I wouldn't pick it up again but I'm not against it.

[Jodi KH · Rating 3 out of 5]

Perhaps I need to switch genres for a while because this book, while well written, was very predictable

[Lori Toth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very believable

As haunting as the reality of domestic violence is, this book is well written. Brings the reality of this horrific part of life that happens far to frequently and so often ignored by many. Victims are often not believed thus afraid to ask for help, knowing the consequences if not believed by those in position to help. The evil within the controlling party doesn't show to the rest of the public in a well orchestrated acting performance. . It remains well hidden until the door closes then the violence begins, both verbal and physical.

[AGilden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fairly simple plot with the conclusion feeling like bit of an anticlimax. But I still enjoyed it, mostly because of the struggling, recovering, and relatable main character and the suspense that ran through most of the story. There were three male characters who could all have been a villain, so it's not completely predictable either. And that's the difficulty of life: there are good people and bad people, and we have to battle to figure out which is which, a predicament brought out very nicely by this book.

[Patty U. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twisted love

I enjoyed this book very much. It has so much reality in it. It is amazing what some people can do to the ones they say they love. Elliott's story could be based on truth also. If you have ever been in a violent relationship you can relate to this story. Sad but it is a subject often swept under the rug. No one wants to get involved. I look forward to reading more by this author.

[blueyed_cntry_girl · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book started out good but then became stilled. It became long, wordy n unnecessarily events. Don’t get me wrong it was a good book as I still wanted to read n see what happened to Freya. I just thought it took too long in between things. Definitely look at the trigger warnings before reading.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

[Diane Dixon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Very Riveting Book!!

This book gripped me from the beginning and held me to the ending. A real page turner packed nerve wracking suspense. Married to a monster that kept beating her as his way of controlling her. My heart went out to her and other women that experience that type of abuse. The ending was explosive and had me thinking about this book for a long while.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I cannot relate to this story, however, I am sure many can. It is a good book though slow paced for me. It is a quick and easy to follow read. I can only imagine the feelings this would trigger for those who have lived a life as this. I rate it 3 stars and would recommend to some.
Thank you to the publishers for an eARC through NetGalley in exvhange for an honest review.

[chandelle moreshi · Rating 5 out of 5]

fantastic read

I thoroughly enjoyed this story as well as the plot and the courage freya had to leave her husband after the pain and suffering he caused her - I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone