There is No Wall

by Allie Bailey

There Is No Wall is ultrarunner Allie Bailey's brutally honest and sometimes shocking account of alcoholism, depression and severe mental breakdowns which almost cost her her life.
Told with disarming vulnerability, heartbreaking depth of feeling and dark humour, this isn't a story about how running saved her – she was already running and at the height of her struggles sometimes even winning 100-mile-plus races. But somewhere between the darkest excesses of the music industry and the simple beauty of the ultrarunning scene, Allie found space to listen, learn and put into practice techniques that would go on to save her life and change it for the better.
There Is No Wall is a story about how doing something you love can lead you to achieve things you never thought possible. Running won't save you, but it might buy you the time to save yourself.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Sports, Adventure, Memoir, Psychology

224 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 1, 2024

Reviews

[Chanel Coppard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know what I was expecting when I picked up this book, but I knew that whatever it was, it'd be raw, honest, funny and, quite simply, Allie.

Allies unflinchingly honest always, and it's not because she's mean, it's because the truth is that we all need. She uses her experience and puts herself out there in the hopes it'll help someone. And it does. It already has. I cried and laughed through this one, and most importantly I heard what I needed to hear that re-affirmed to me the things I've been learning about myself recently.

That it's okay to ask for help, it's okay to need to make adjustments and that we never stop moving forward.

Running won't save you, but it's a wonderful tool. Replace running with any 'positive' hobby you use to outrun life, and this still applies. It's not a self-help book, but it's one that gets you thinking about how to help yourself.

And if none of that grabs you? It's still a brilliant read. I haven't stopped recommending it since I started it, I won't stop either.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this at a time I needed to read this

dang.

[Billy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Raw, funny, very open and honest. Much less about running than I had expected, but that's my fault for assuming it was a running book (hint - it's a book about recovery from alcoholism and mental health issues, that just happens to include a bunch of running) Well worth a read though, and well worth recommending to anyone you might know who is dealing with these type of issues, whether they are a runner or not!

[Sam Cebolla · Rating 4 out of 5]

Hard hitting, but mixed with light hearted comical moments, so interesting and unbelievable at times. Amazing how much you can deal with in private, great messages shared especially at the end and Allie seems like a genuinely lovely person!

[Sarah MacCallum · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted to enjoy this so much more than I did. A lot of stop, starting so took a long time to read as it didn’t really keep me wanting to read. Persevered and got there in the end and the overall great, strong message is there and I’m glad Allie was brave enough to write her book to get her message out there. Agree with everything she had to say and I like her black and white way of telling it-no grey areas. Just a pity it took so long to get through.

[F.K. Maddison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing book - best one I’ve listening to/read this year. Allie Bailey talks about her mental health, alcoholism and running (the latter was the reason I bought it not the first, or second but I was totally intrigued by all 3). How she used to run ultramarathons after basically having a skinful or being very hungover, and how she runs now sober and coaches others to do the same. This is not a self help book that makes you want to vom at cliches, or makes you mad because it ends up telling you absolutely sweet FA about the subject you bought it for in the first place, it’s the opposite: insightful, VERY brutally honest, VERY funny (like laugh out loud funny - I was laughing like a lune in the car to myself and got a few odd looks from other drivers 🤣) and totally awe inspiring. I listened to the audio - which I recommend because Allie herself narrates it (she is also from the West Country, and so I’m completely biased) and she is very good at delivering a line! Well worth the just over 5hrs listen. And I’m now off to read her blog posts and order some of the books she has recommended 🥳📚 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 🏃‍♀️💨

[Steve Chilton · Rating 4 out of 5]

A hard and emotional read. Bailey is very open when describing her alcoholism and depression and how they affected her life and relationships. The book is in three parts, with Awakenings and Reckonings taking up over half of it, before reaching her 'rock bottom'. What follows is the Realising, where she finally re-takes control of her life with the help of therapy, much reading and a lot of willpower. The key seemed to be establishing her own values and then sticking to them. This involved acknowledging the situation and then doing something about it - the so-called knowledge-doing gap. The over-riding message is that running won't save you (on its own) and that only you have the power to change. Like everyone in recovery is, she is still learning to do that every day.

[Dani Auer · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tough read. The word inspirational is often used inflationary but here it 100% applies.

[John Joseph Cassidy · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you want open, honest and transparent in an autobiography, this is the one for you. It will make you think about yourself and challenge your own thinking, it did for me. Recommended 👌🏻

[Jason McCracken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unhappy functional alcoholic succeeds at life despite constant self destruction. It’s okay if you like misery porn but the final few pages were a bit preachy for me.

[Kim Gilfillan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Started well … got bored with the repetitive detail eventually .. initially thought it was a five star, but petered out and became a 3 at best

[Emily Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wasnt sure what to expect from reading this book. I have followed Allie for a couple of years on IG and always been in awe of her running achievements and appreciative of her honesty about her mental health challenges.
I’ve never really understood the depths of these and this book is Allies way of telling her truth about her struggles in a way of also helping others.
She is brutally honest at times, and quite negative about her past self, and she is also honest about how running hasn’t always been a positive force in her life but sometimes a negative one.
I came to this book as a fellow ultra runner in awe of her achievements, but I think it would appeal to anyone who struggles with their mental health and demons and is seeking a voice they can empathise with.
Even if you don’t, I recommend this book for Allie’s personal story of overcoming her past self and her journey to having better mental health and a healthier relationship with herself and others.
I couldn’t put it down.

[Debbie Maughan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest account of her younger years, social life and start of alcohol dependence.
The book does have a warning at the beginning, including a warning of the use of blunt and graphic language, so I can’t complain about the amount of swear words used, but never using that language myself, it took a while to get used to the graphic language. I did not allow this to spoil my experience of reading the book.
I found it interesting to read about Allie’s Namibia and Mongolia trips and her experience in the jungle.
The book encouraged me to listen to some music that wasn’t familiar to me, with a recommendation at the start of each chapter.
I came to realise what an amazing person Allie is and also a brilliant ultramarathon runner. While being in a very dark place from addiction and mental health, Allie has achieved so much. You don’t have to have mental health problems or be an athlete to enjoy this book.

[Marta · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw, genuine and imperfect

I’ve read quite a few of these books where the author uses physical challenges to get out of their funk - whatever their funk may be, depression, addiction, trauma, etc. Though the audible version, narrated by the author, was a bit angry sounding and quite grating at times, the book itself, is quite poignant. She describes the way into “the hole” and the “way out” as best she can, particularly towards the last few chapters. And therein lies the magic. She reveals the biases that we all have, the critical voices we all harbour and what her strategy was to tame them. She leans on mindfulness, CBT, music, her best companion Pickle (dog), friendships. Sometimes she breaks quite a few things along the way, but it is the journey not the destination.

[Ash Spedding · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read

Brilliant read in an easy conversational tone. I usually schedule a minimum reading time a day, to keep me motivated to read. No need with this, I finished it in half the time I "allotted" to it and found myself choosing to read instead of watch the television in the evening. There's plenty of stuff about running in it, but it's not really about running so don't worry if that's not your thing! The themes are "dark" and might be tricky at times if you connect to them but there is nothing unnecessarily graphic or triggering so felt a "safe" read for those who are struggling. Highly recommend. I love a bit of swearing but if you don't then maybe not the book for you. Really enjoyed the reading and music recommendations.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Allie Bailey’s searingly honest account of the impacts her poor mental health and self-destructive behaviour have had on her life, affecting not just her but also her friends and family was, at times, almost unbearably painful to read. However, what soon became clear was that it was this honesty, combined with her inner-determination, resilience and essential integrity, which enabled her to finally face her ‘demons’, learn to become kinder to herself and to begin her journey, with all its inevitable ups, downs and setbacks, to a lasting recovery. I admired her capacity for writing with such impressive eloquence, not just when sharing retrospective insights but, as was so evident from the extracts she included from some of her blogs, her ability to express her thoughts and feelings when feeling at her lowest. I also loved (and appreciated when the reading felt particularly upsetting!) the thread of dark humour which runs through her account. … and delighted in the joy she has found in the advent in her life of rescue dog Pickle Pie, who provides her with such wonderful ‘cuddles’!
I’ve just discovered that Allie will be speaking (with Nicky Spinks, a fellow ultra-runner) at the Keswick Mountain Festival in May (19:30 – 20:30 on the 18th) so I’m now looking forward to hearing her talk about her experiences and hope I’ll get an opportunity to thank her in person for sharing her remarkable story.

[Angelabewick81 · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a brutally honest account from a really interesting woman. I enjoyed the stories of Allie's travels through running and her grit and determination. However most impressive was her journey through addiction and depression. Lots of laughs and quite a few tears reading along with this one but I thoroughly enjoyed it and couldn't put it down. Allie also shares lots of useful resources that helped her deal with feelings inadequacy and anxiety. Since reading the book I have delved into Allie's suggestions and also found them really useful, particularly The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. Thank you Allie for your bravery in sharing your story and commitment to helping others.

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have admittedly grown tired of "running" books and the tropes they tend to follow, but was drawn to Allie's book for its hidden subtitle on the cover: Running Won't Save You. I appreciated the premise and loved the execution. Allie is unapologetically honest, sometimes dark, and often funny. After years of alcohol abuse and self-destruction, Allie took her own shitshow on the road with distance running. This was, unsurprisingly, an ongoing shitshow, but an entertaining one at that. Allie is a talented runner, and her self-awareness and humor keep the narrative from becoming a cliched hero's journey. Instead, Allie's story is a human journey, and an enjoyable read.

[Mike Watson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this a difficult but hard to put down book to read. I was initially attracted to it as I enjoy running but really it's just a sub plot.
The main story is about the authors depression and alcoholism on top of being an ultra runner (and an unrelated career). I'm fortunate in not being in this situation so it was harrowing to read about how low you can go.
Not one if you expected running tales and don't expect it to be a self help book either. Without revealing too much its a rollercoaster but one that may have come to a settled end.

[Laura Overton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was not expecting this book to be so honest, and also so humorous given the subject. One of my favorite points she makes when people (myself included!) cannot believe she’s able to run 100 mile races competitively, and set records with skull crushing hangovers is that when you are so depressed and despise yourself so much, have despised yourself for so many years, the darkness of running an ultra with a hangover really isn’t that dark. It’s everything else that’s actually hard day in and day out.

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredible, jaw-dropping read. So brave of her to share her story and made me learn so much about people battling with depression. Her mantra that running won't save you but that it gave her the only chance to be with her depressive/suicidal thoughts sober was particularly impactful.

Parts of the read were very graphic but an unfiltered read is exactly what her story needed! Amazing to see that she has come out the other side of it all, I might now even give an ultra marathon a go (but this book is strictly not a guide to running)

[Petr Š. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Knížka o ultramaratonkyni alkoholičce, na obálce je nápis "běh tě nezachrání". Pokud jste někdy slyšeli o "misery porn", tohle je ono. Kdybych věděl, o čem to je, asi bych to dětem v autě nepouštěl- ale co už (sundaly si sluchátka a poslouchaly až do Brna). V audio verzi to všechno frčí v rytmu a nedává to šanci se zamyslet, což je asi dobře. Oceňuji, že se autorka nepokusila napsat šťastný konec a že je to tak akorát dlouhé. Jinak je to o takových těch věcech, co o nich obvykle nechcete slyšet.

[Laura Devine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed her story, I cannot get over what this lady has achieved all while juggling depression and alcoholism, lots of this made me look at my own journey and really care about this lady and pickles! A truly astonishing life full of twists and turns but I really hope there is a happy ending for her, it sounds as though all the help along the way has changed how she deals with problems and I think her new career as a coach is a genius move, a true story of an ultra runner with depression and alcoholism that really does turn it around, Bravo!

[Simon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. There's a good redemption arc, though Allie notes it is very much an ongoing process. The middle bit is tough. It's very sad hearing how badly Allie has been mistreated, but she handles it with grace and humour and swearing all of which made it very engaging.

Overall I would recommend this book if you have an interest in how humans learn to cope with tough conditions and understand the healing power of dogs.

[Sophie Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read this book! This book is not just for runners. It is for anyone who has suffered with depression or who knows someone who has. I laughed, I cried and shouted reading this book. The honesty is brutally humbling. I read this in almost a day, I had to put it down and come back to read the last chapters as I didn't want it to be over.

After a tough 18 months of living with other people's mental health - this was helpful at understanding just a little bit more. Thank you!

[Mrs Jennie-Lou Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Refreshingly honest

I loved the plain speaking, honest dialogue of this book. I've attempted to become a runner (didn't happen) and instead stuck to long distance hiking which gives me the peace Allie speaks of. The battles within herself of addiction and self worth are entirely relatable and this has been captured so well. Love this as a recovery read and found I was drawn into the book completely. Loved it!

[pete munford · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy book to read that is challenging to read! A running book that isn’t about running? l found this a difficult book to review. I struggled initially with the language used but then understood that the strength of feeling and anger portrayed by it are an essential part of the narrative. Definitely very raw and honest, Allie Bailey describes struggles some of which we all share but which are nowhere near the same level as hers. Overall a great read, and definitely food for thought.

[Lara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I admire her honesty. I thought this was a running book from the title, but it's also about alcoholism and depression. There's a list of triggers at the beginning of the book. If you have ever wanted to understand a person's thoughts and struggles with addiction in a free flow form, she provides that in this book. I'll definitely relisten to the concluding letter about how to stop negative self-talk because I can identify with that.
Does contain lots of adult language
Format: audio

[Philippa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Words like raw, brutal and honest get bandied about so much with not much feeling behind them really but this book really is all those things. Painfully honest , at times really uncomfortable to read but also life affirming and inspiring.

Running won’t save you… neither will this book but it might help

[Niall O'neill]

Brought this after reading about Ally’s story in Runner’s World. It’s an unflinching account of alcoholism, depression, and running as a temporary escape but not a solution. It’s inspirational, and educational about the struggles people can face and how they can overcome, and be supported in their journey.