Quietly Confident: An introvert's guide to knowing and expressing your worth

by Kate James

With research showing that as many as 50 per cent of us are introverts, why are so many of us still playing an extrovert's game?

Career coach and self-professed introvert Kate James has heard hundreds of smart, creative introverts tell a similar story: despite being motivated and hardworking, they aren't where they want to be in their careers or personal lives. At work, they don't speak up, ask for rewards, or set boundaries with their more assertive colleagues. And if they do get a seat at the table, they often sacrifice their true values, which leaves them feeling drained and inauthentic.

In Quietly Confident, Kate looks beyond the narrow scope of popular culture and paints a broader, more human definition of what it means to have confidence and be 'successful'. In an era that rewards those with the loudest voices (and the most followers), Kate encourages introverts to let go of outdated ideas and beliefs so that they too might shine just as brightly. With a better understanding of an introvert's many invaluable gifts and showing us how to tap in to our infinite worth, Kate will guide readers towards the confidence that already exists within each of us.

Written with warmth and compassion, Quietly Confident is a must-have guide to identifying your strengths, claiming your worth and finding your true place in the world.


Praise for Quietly Confident

'A celebration of introversion in a loud and extroverted world. It's not just necessary, it's transformative.' Dr Rebecca Ray

'An elegant and stunning unveiling of the true nature of confidence. Kate not only neatly unravels what it means to be authentically confident, but she also illuminates the strength that can be found in being "soft".' Dr Carrie Hayward

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development

285 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 26, 2024

About the author

Kate James is a coach and mindfulness teacher who draws on research from positive psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and self-compassion in her work with clients. She shares practical tips about how these philosophies can be used in everyday life to build self-belief, overcome imposter syndrome and clarify career and life direction.

Her clients are introverts, highly sensitive persons and creatives who work in leadership roles or want to start their own business.

Kate is the creator of The Confidence Course, a program that teaches women how to find their way to greater clarity, confidence and calm.

Listen to Kate's meditations for free: https://insighttimer.com/katejames

Follow Kate on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/total_balance/

Reviews

[Marles Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from @macmillanaus and have finally given it the attention it deserved. “Quietly Confident” by life coach Kate James (@total_balance) is a book that intuitively and realistically challenges the notion of confidence, and for those who are considered introverted to stop playing stereotypical extrovert games to be successful.
Kate explored many existing concepts and gives them moments to shine while exploring the need to challenge our own confidence. Addressing confirmation bias that we have held onto from our formative years, making one small change for another does have a profound ripple effect, and understanding that our “strengths are the true areas for development as weaknesses are just things we learn to manage around”. This especially stuck with me: often the weakness we name are the ideals of others we may be trying to live up to.
What resonated with me with Kate’s research about strengths was how why why some people tend to sit back and process rather than respond on the cuff: the slower the speed of processing information is not a weakness; it means that the processing is undertaken more thoughtfully, more deeply with a quality lens; thinking with such depth and consideration is a strength.
The book validates the quality of human connection over the quantity of connections (bookstagrammers, take note!) and introduced me to the concept of “mattering”, where how much we believe we matter to others is intrinsic to how we feel about ourselves. We have to matter to ourselves, just as much as we matter to others in our lives. Face-to-face contact is a natural remedy to improve connectedness in our digitally dependent world.
I loved the reflections on courage and bravery And why they are so different Courage “lies in the quiet and intimate moments of our lives” where we stop, think, and evaluate before we act:
“Action + feedback + self-reflection = courage”.
This is a very pragmatic and genuine guide to reclaiming your strengths, taking a transformative approach to reclaiming your worth and confirming your valued place in the world around you.

[Amie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Almost a DNF - but I persevered with this one anyway given it was a relatively short read.

Quietly Confident is aimed at helping individuals build confidence by embracing their quieter, more introspective nature. The author encourages introverts to let go of outdated beliefs, highlighting the many invaluable gifts introverts possess and guiding readers to tap into their inherent worth.

The intention was to provide strategies to help introverts 'shine' just as brightly as extroverts, offering a roadmap to confidence and self-acceptance. However, much of the content feels repetitive and lacks fresh insights, so I found myself getting pretty bored throughout out the book. The ideas presented were underwhelming, making it difficult to stay engaged with the material.

[Scottrathes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I originally borrowed this book from the local library, however early on I realised this is the book I need to buy and keep! It provided me with wisdom I could relate to on so many levels that I will need to review it again at those times in life where the techniques will come in handy. There is plenty to work with on every normal day too. To be honest I started skipping the exercises, as I wanted to keep reading, however I am keen to go back and do my homework! I am introverted and sensitive and proud of it!

[Cat Gould · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a deeply informative guide to finding your values and strengths, allowing those to fuel your purpose and arrive a sense of confidence in what you need to do to achieve your goals. Even though I'm not 10% introverted I definitely resonated with many things that introverts struggle with and the tools that Kate James offers I thihnk would be valuable for anyone wanting to take steps toward self knowledge growth and deeper engagement with life.

[Thomas Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

A solid 3.5. It’s a great starting point for understanding introversion, but it felt pretty basic and repetitive at times. There are some good reminders and lessons on self-worth and boundaries, just nothing ground-breaking if you’ve already done a bit of reading on this kind of stuff. Good, but was probably looking for a little more depth.

[Elsa Beaumont · Rating 5 out of 5]

An incredibly insightful book on how to find your voice and confidence as an introvert. Well researched and full of tips and anecdotes that really resonated, I loved this book and got so much from it. Highly recommend.

[Allira · Rating 4 out of 5]

I might need to re-read this one before making up my mind. Confidence and introversion are topics that I’m interested in and believe have great personal and professional utility.. but I struggled to keep focused throughout the book.

[Lindy Lloyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am loving this book! Such a great reminder that we introverts can succeed in life with a little self belief in our arsenal. Thank you for the vote of confidence Kate... and for the book! I will refer to it often. Highly recommended!

[Joel Valentine · Rating 5 out of 5]

introverts are the best; if only they knew it