Passionate Housewives Desperate for God: Fresh Vision for the Hopeful Homemaker

by Jennie Chancey, Stacy McDonald

Have you struggled to reconcile God's vision of virtuous womanhood with worldly myths that marginalize and mock the role of the homemaker? Do you wrestle with cultural messages that demean the homemaker's calling and exalt instead the emotionally androgynous power-woman---the wife whose worth is measured only by the degree of her self-ambition, the shape of her body, or her money-making skills? Delightfully fresh and honest, "Passionate Housewives Desperate for God" debunks the modern "desperate housewife" myth and provides fresh vision for the homemaker. Hear a former "Christian" feminist share how she went from a die-hard homemaker-in-training to a dedicated career woman, and then back again---after God gripped her heart. See the hollow counterfeit of whitewashed feminism and "me-ology" destroyed. And consider the beautiful picture painted in Scripture of the truly fulfilled homemaker who glories in the hopeful calling God created for her.

Genres: Christian, Marriage, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Christianity, Family, Womens

206 pages, Paperback

First published October 24, 2007

About the author

I am the wife of Pastor James McDonald of Providence Church in Morton, Illinois. We have ten beautiful children who love and serve the Lord. Our goal as a family is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

We hold to the Westminster Confession of Faith and attend a Presbyterian church that is part of the Covenant Presbyterian Church www.covenant-presbyterian.org

Statistics present a shocking truth - the Christian family today is in trouble. Our prayer is that the Lord will bring a new revival to the family, a true God-powered family reformation! We have seen God's grace and power in our own lives. As the Christian family begins to live in accordance to the Word of God, change happens! Experiencing victory in the Christian family comes when living faith becomes living action. This is family reformation (1 John 5:3-4; John 14:21)!

Over the years, I have found that any Christian who truly lives out what he believes and attempts to teach others the timeless truths of Scripture will face opposition and even persecution. This is actually promised in Scripture (2 Timothy 3:12), so it's not surprising that some bristle at this message.

Please stop by my blog and say hello!

Reviews

[Becca · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was not the intended audience for this book, and as such I felt like a was reading through a glass darkly. The Christian language was a code-- and I have read the Bible, cover to cover, people! I'm comfortable with scriptural language, dense theology, thees and thous. The meta-Christianity, though, the modern American Christian culture championed by the authors is completely foreign to me.

A good friend gave me this book. She speaks the lingo, was raised in it-- and so this book inspired her to feel proud of her life as a mom. I'm happy she got such a positive message out of it-- and I finished the darn thing because of her. I kept waiting for the paranoid ranting and metaphor-mixing to end and affirmations, advice, or information to begin. Here's the spoiler: there are no affirmations, pieces of advice or tidbits of information. There are, however, hyperbolic paranoid rants against feminists (emasculators, all!), against whiny depressed women who feel trapped at home (suck it up, ladies! Submit HARDER!), even against Christians-- PASTORS-- who advise women that "submitting" to husbands is contingent on the husbands' righteousness. Nu-uh, girls. Submit to him so that he'll step up to the plate and take his rightful role as patriarch at large. And why is your pastor such a pansy! Ooh, and there's a quote from the Dugger lady.

My favorite part was a list of things that Godly women should do, as depicted in the bible. I read it outloud to my husband. This list included things like, create beautiful garments! and play musical instruments! They left off the iffy bits, though, the embarrassing female parts in the Bible -- Judith hacking off that guy's head, Lot's daughters seducing their father. Also they left off the good bits: the woman with the issue of blood-- healed from her long painful illness, Martha being told to stop housewifing around and listen to Jesus.

At the risk of making a mountain out of molehill, I'm going to scramble some metaphors of my own here and go out on a limb. This book is what is wrong with religion in America. The beauty, the difficulty, the timelessness of religion is absent from the worldview of these authors. Instead they were defensive, attacking and judging, petty, oversimplifying, ranking, ranting and raving. People-- God is big. The Feminists cannot break God. Working mothers, stay-at-home dads, liberal pastors, people with tattoos, public schoolers, gays? Can't even RUMPLE God. Don't worry about God, he'll be fine. He's safe, even from the Christians. What I wanted this book to say was just that: God is big, and so are you, you'll be fine. Enjoy.

[Lisa Wuertz · Rating 1 out of 5]

First thoughts about the title: Cheese.

I'm not a fan of the ABC show Desparate Housewives either, but I think we can do better with our titles if we want to lead people in the right direction. This sort of reminds me of something Stephen is always complaining about in the Christian music industry. As people who were both very involved in high school ministry, there were always these lists for leaders to show to kids to get them to stop listening to secular music. A kid would say who their favorite band or artist was and we could then use the list to point them to a Christian artist that sounded just like the secular ones, but with happy God lyrics or whatever. In its most extreme form there are even songs within the Christian music industry that you would swear have been totally ripped off from secular artists. Stephen would always say something along the lines of, "God created music. God is creative. Why can't Christian artists be more creative? Why aren't Christian artists ahead of the trends and coming up with the best stuff possible that people will want to listen to anyway without having to be pointed there because they sound like something else?" I think this is why bands like Switchfoot have been able to be so successful. They don't need to sound like someone else. They have their own following and their own style. So to me, writing a response or an "alternative" to Desperate Housewives just seems like a cop out.

Another thing that assaulted me is the whole housewife thing in the title. Because, um, hi! I am not one. And hardly any families these days can afford to have this. But I know most of the women in my book club are in the home, so I can't exactly dictate what we read to just suit me.

So anyway I'm about a third of the way into the book and I have some thoughts about what I have read. The book is a really, really easy read. I just got my shipment today and I've gotten pretty far. The chapters I have read have only been written by McDonald.

One big theme of hers is attacking feminism:
• "The minimization of the homemaker's role has been a priority of the feminist movement for decades. Feminist advocates have sought to downplay the maternal desires of women and break down the ties that bind a mother to her home and children."
• "Yet even those of us moms who have chosen to go against the grain can still be lulled by feminism's lies. We can be lured by the insidious notion that being separated from our home and little ones is a good thing. We too can become convinced that it's better for everyone if Mom pursues her own interests."

It is just so freakin' old when Christians attack feminism. I am a feminist. Not all feminists even have the same ideals and goals. It isn't like there is a feminist doctrine that is the "cold hard gospel" that McDonald uses to describe it. Feminists are all over the place in their beliefs. And nevermind the fact that feminism has allowed for these two women to communicate their ideals openly in the public sphere and get those ideals published into a book. And to make money off of book sales. So don't just bash feminism blindly.

Another theme so far is that women are to be in the home as baby making machines:
• "In serving as her husband's helper, a wife performs many valuable roles. She is to be his solitary lover, his counselor, and his closest friend. She has the unique honor of mothering his children and keeping their home. In all her tasks, she seeks to further him as a man."
• "...the wife's primary role is that of mother and home-keeper. She is to diligently tend to the affairs of their home, even as she bears and cares for their children."
• "The text of Scripture is straightforward and unequivocal: a woman's duties are to be home-centered, and if we spurn this directive we cause God's Word to be blasphemed and risk bringing reproach upon the body of Christ."
• "Sadly, only 41 percent of Americans now view having children as 'very important' to a successful marriage, down from 65 percent in 1990. This mindset is not limited to unbelievers, as many Christian couples fail to wholeheartedly seek the blessing of the womb, at times considering children an encumbrance to other personal goals."
• "One of the key reasons God ordains marriage is to bring forth children."

I don't even know where or if I even want to begin on this... I'll just say that I think it is pretty ridiculous. And lucky for me I have a husband who thinks so too. I've read him some of these passages and we both laughed.

OK. I don't want to sound like a total complainer so I will say one thing about it that I like. Another theme in the book is that we should be happy with our life circumstances and not wishing for what others have or some other life. This I can relate to. This is an area that I need to grow in.

[LeighAnne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very thought-provoking. I was challenged to re-address positions I once thought I held pretty firmly. I love how Scripture is used throughout the book. I took longer to read the book because I wanted to spend the time looking up each passage. While I didn't agree 100% with everything that was said, this book will definitely be one that I return to regularly to remind myself that my true calling as a wife and mother supercedes any other ventures, whether they be "good" or "bad."
edited to add: I especially recommend the chapter on "Whitewashed Feminism."

[Sherri Lackey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book by Jennie Chancey and Stacy MacDonald. It is very encouraging for the brave women who chooses homemaking as a career. I'm glad they decided to make a stand for keepers at home. It is a much needed book on a topic few would dare to tackle.

[Marci · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love being a housewive, but like most women (weather a worker at home or in the workforce) I often become disgruntled easily with my circumstances. I guess it is the mentality that the "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." That said, this book is filled with a lot of hope, perspective and biblical wisdom on the most valuable role of mother and wife. The authors are two mothers of very large and conservative families, but what they said about God's view of the homemaker really encouraged me, with out pushing me to the edge of perfectionistic desperation that most books about being a wife do. I think the most important thing I gained from the book is sumed up in this quote by Martin Luther, "What you do in your house is worth as much as if you did it up in heaven for our Lord God. We should accustom ourselves to think of our position and work as sacred and well-pleasing to God, not on account of the position and work, but on account of the word and faith from which the obedience and the work flow." It is encouraging to view my daily duties as sacred offerings to the Lord... even kingdom impacting.
I often find myself getting disgruntled at the seeming futility of housework. The authors address this issue, that it is easy to get bogged down in the day to day of running a home to not see the bigger and brighter side of homemaking: that homemaking is a measurable job that a wife sees the direct benefit from her labors and that is truely one of the only jobs (unless you are a CEO) that one is fully in complete control over the management and outcome of ones own labor. This really helps me to be thankful that I am "chained to my stove" and not behind the desk serving someone else while I have to worry about who is caring for my children and my home that is still waiting to be managed on the side. I, in essence, am the CEO of my own little corperation. LOL! Over all, I really enjoyed this book and it helped me to see my role as a wife and mother in another light...perhaps how God sees me and my service at home.

[Camille Dorris · Rating 1 out of 5]

I disagree a lot with this book. I think it is important to have a good education for everyone, and college for women is included in that. I also see no problem with women working with or without kids. I chose to stay home with my children, but none of us know the circumstances for others.

While I do agree with parts of the book and there are definitely days I need to be reminded of the blessing I have of being home with my children, I think this book would make women in different circumstances feel guilty for having to work and not rely on God's grace.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. Most of what was contained within were things I already agreed with, or had thought about myself so it wasn't especially "new" to me. However what I really enjoyed were the many many references to bible verses and passages the authors made, allowing me to go through my different translations to look up and see for myself. The authors use the NKJV (I do not) so if you aren't used to hearing your Bible full of thees, thous, etc, I would definitely recommend reading this book with your bible need to you so you can reference the verses in a more modern translation.

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was my second time reading this book and the message is just as needed now as it was when it was first written 14 years ago. It is countercultural from cover to cover! I deeply appreciate the way the authors cast a vision for how fruitful, fulfilling and important being a keeper at home can be and how vital it is that the older women in the church get involved in the lives of the younger women to teach and encourage them. The authors are collectively the mothers of 18 children, so they were in the trenches during the writing of this book, but the picture of the joy and blessings that come when a woman turns her focus towards home and serving others rather than pursuing self interests was so encouraging and challenging to me. Huge bonus is that this book is packed with scripture to back up what they are proposing.

[Robin · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting book calling homemakers to embrace being homemakers. It touches on debunking common myths/stereotypes of homemakers, perfectionism, and the feminism movement. And it's all wrapped up with solid Biblical backing. I first started reading the booking thinking it to be a bit too conservative for my liking, but by the end, it's make me seriously think about how my views have been shaped by our culture (vs the Bible) such that perhaps I need to rearrange my views. One downside is the quoted verse are in KJV which made reading them slightly more difficult.

[Mary Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being a wife and mother is a sacred calling...a blessing not a burden...yielding the richest blessings when we willingly love our husbands and children. I like the author's father's advise on pg158 "I could get up angry with my lot in life and bitter toward God...or I could...thank God for a new day, ask Him for help in turning from sin, and approach even the smallest tasks with diligent joy." Diligent joy...I like that!

[Karla Auxier · Rating 5 out of 5]

A most incredible book! Chock full of scripture, I found this book to be a wonderful guide and reminder of how to appreciate and truly fulfill my role as housewife, wife and mother. The authors did an excellent job explaining and exhorting the reader to a godly life filled with joy from Him alone. LOVED IT!

[Kristin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know if I completely agree with everything the authors believe, but this book is still very interesting and encouraging (even though I'm not a housewife :). It's so refreshing to read something that is encouraging women who want to be homemakers rather than looking down on them.

[Laura Shaw · Rating 1 out of 5]

Good lord, what a bunch of crap. Jennie Chancey is an awful person and her ideology is disgusting. There's nothing empowering about self-abnegation.

[Christina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Things I liked about this book: Homemaking is more than housework, each home is unique and different and reflects the talents of the mother, there is joy in the mundane tasks, emphasis on dying to self as part of our role as women, and the helper function of wives- to honor and respect their husbands and help them succeed in every way.

Things I had problems with: The discussion of "me time"- made me feel like getting a pedicure might be sinful (if I confuse it with not seeking my comfort in the Lord- not likely). My biggest problem was with the very conservative interpretation of I Tim 5:14 which made me feel like I might be a feminist because I do support higher education and a career path for younger women before having kids, both of which prepared me to be a better homemaker and helper to my husband. One of the authors states her higher education misled her away from biblical womanhood. And in this book a suffragist is quoted in a negative light, which makes me wonder if the authors do not believe women should have worked for the right to vote.

This entire book covers some difficult topics, and perhaps the authors did not mean for the above to be taken as I read it. I do find it ironic they preach about a woman having no ambition of her own, other than to help her husband and family succeed, yet they have taken the time from that goal to research and author this book.

A much better book on the topic of being submissive and a godly wife is "What's Submission Got to Do With It? by Cindy Easley.

[Jenn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned from this book that maintaining my home as a place of business with cleanliness and organization, a source of comfort and rest for the soul with unconditional love and my time always available during crisis, for not only my family but to strangers as well, is NOT degrading as the feminists will have you think, but it is a pure form of love we can give and it is what we, as women, were created to do. To love and nurture with a sacrificial unconditional love which demonstrates the forever love of God for his own children. It is also absolutely necessary for the success of my husband and children for me to be home for them whenever they need me and to create a space for them to work and rest. A am a true passionate housewife and desperate for nothing other than a stronger relationship with my Creator and a desire to mature and do better with each day, with God's grace and His hand guiding me step by step, and His forgiveness as I struggle and fail. If someone asks what I do? I am a family and household manager.

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my all-time faves!

Although I already knew that my place was to be a Keeper at Home, this book still was so encouraging and edifying.

In one chapterJ, ennie shares her story of her "college-days" and how they turned her away from the biblical role of womanhood. Her testimony compounded our belief that college is not the "end-all-be-all" for our children...though the world would have you believe otherwise.

Great, Great, Great book! I recommend it to all women of all ages.

[Lydiathekicker · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is encouraging and served as an aid in refocusing on what my job really is. It is written in a somewhat rambly, I'm-talking-to-you-across-my-kitchen-table way. This made it easy to read but hard (for me) to walk away with concrete points to remember. However, the overall point - serve your family! - was quite clear. I would like to reread this at some point.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a great book, full of inspiration, for both the committed housewife and mom to the feminist who feels empty and needs more from her life. Very uplifting and I want to get my own copy for my bookshelf.

[Leslie]

So far I really like this book. The title is a play off of the T.V. show Desperate Housewives. The premise is that you will become a desperate housewife if you don't have any vision and purpose. I'll write more after I'm done reading it.

[Kameron · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was very encouraging to me as a wife and mother who seeks to serve the Lord as a homemaker. I cherished all of the Biblical references that gave a clear picture of just how much God honors a woman with responsibilities and purposes uniquely suited to her.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full of grace and encouragement for the walk in obedience with Christ as a woman. I reread again after 3 years and gleaned even more life altering information. Refreshment for my weary soul after giving the worldview a go.

[Tag · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for moms who need encouragement and a renewed focus. Hits on a variety of topics personally, parenting, marriage, housework, schooling, bad days, etc. Both authors keep you glued to the pages. I get many books from the library but this is one I purchased!

[Stacey · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very encouraging, kind of heavy on the anti-feminism stuff. I understand why they argue against and their point of view, but it felt soap-boxy at some points. Aside from the feminism preaching, it was very encouraging :D

[Hayley Briston · Rating 5 out of 5]

I personally loved this book and bought extra copies to give to friends. I'm proud to be a stay at home wife and mother and feel sure this is the role God has for me. However I'm also aware others may not feel the same.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great, encouraging book for the keeper at home!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was life-altering. It made me realize the "Me-istic" thinking that I had bought into and helped me develop a sense of vision for my family.

[Lisa]

Homemaking

[Carla]

I'm curious to see what this book is about. Not sure if it's my style or not, but at least I have to check it out.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The themes in this book are not popular in today's world, but they were all backed (almost exhaustively) with Biblical support.

[Miss Jen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a bright light in a feministic world.
Self is not the answer, but Jesus is.
That is what this book conveys,serve God,serve family and reject self.