Yell Less, Love More: How the Orange Rhino Mom Stopped Yelling at Her Kids - and How You Can Too!:

by Sheila McCraith

The Rhino: A naturally calm animal that charges when provoked.

The Orange Rhino: A person that parents with warmth and determination and who doesn't charge with words when angry, impatient, or simply in a bad mood.

Do you often find yourself losing your cool and yelling at your kids? It happens to us all, but it doesn't have to. With Yell Less, Love More you'll learn practical, simple solutions to keep you focused on loving more and yelling less, no matter what the circumstance. It is possible to change and enjoy a calmer life because of it! Take the Orange Rhino 30-day challenge to yell less. In this guidebook to happier parenting, author Sheila McCraith shares daily thoughts, tips, and motivational personal stories to help you toss out the screams and welcome in the peace. Whether you have one child or twenty (or one you still yell at who is twenty), strengthen your relationships and maybe even laugh a little more--by taking the challenge today.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Development, Family

208 pages, Paperback

First published September 1, 2014

Reviews

[Stacey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had read about this book in a newsletter (maybe Parade or something similar) and wanted to read it because I, like most other parents, occasionally yell at my kids. While I do not do the yelling that is sometimes described in this book (for example, I never swear at my kids or say anything demeaning to them when I yell--mine is more along the lines of "you need to STOP!" or "Hurry up, we're going to be late!!"), I always feel bad after I yell. Incidentally, I always apologize to my kids if I do raise my voice. This book was geared more towards parents of younger kids. I can't say that this book gave me any terrific revelations but it was a good reminder of certain principles. In particular remembering that they're kids and still learning how to communicate and negotiate the world around them is important. Also, yelling is often a result of the parent's own issues or frustrations (being overtired, being worried about something else, etc.) more so than what the child has done (although I will argue that sometimes it truly is what the kid has done...lol!). The section on the vicious cycle of emotions was helpful as we are dealing with a particularly challenging time with one of our kids right now. There was huge emphasis on using the color orange as a reminder, putting sticky notes on backpacks, etc. to remind you to be calm, etc.--all things that I wouldn't to and likely wouldn't find helpful. The book was written in a very easy-to-read blog-style so it was a quick read. I didn't like the author's emphasis on having kids stop the parent when the parent is going to yell (by saying "orange rhino"--I think that's the parent's responsibility and not the child's. Plus, I think that allowance could be overused by the child. I also didn't like the author's point that she would tell her kids that she wanted to yell less and love them more, because to me that implies that if the parent is yelling, he/she does not love the child as much. I think that's the wrong message to send. The thing I liked most about this book were some of the great quotes that were incorporated. Here are some of my favorites: "The parents exist to teach the child, but also they must learn what the child has to teach them; and the child has a very great deal to teach them." (Arnold Bennett). "The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your own life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward" (Amelia Earheart). "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." (Maya Angelou). "A day without laughter is a day wasted." (Charlie Chaplin). "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." (Mother Theresa). "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." (Ambrose Bierce). And a good final reminder to always treat others as you want others to treat you. And now if my children would just move along when we are running late, we should be all set!!

[Ali M · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to be honest, I abandoned this book. I yell at my kids, I do. I yell because I am human and because sometimes people, even children need to be yelled at. That doesn't mean I don't want to improve, do better, love more... so I thought this book would help. The premise is a good one, but it is tedious, dull, and repetitive. I did find her yell-o-meter scale thinga-ma-bob useful, but the confessionals were overly fraught, and the rest you could get from the blog. I still gave the book three stars because it is a brave thing to admit a failing and work to improve it AND to share it with the world.

[Erin · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is branded really well and visually very appealing. As far as content, the author mentions right from the start that you can read it how you want -- there's no right or wrong way. Read a tip a day, read the whole book in one day, read the personal stories, skip them.

I found the stories to be a little bit repetitive and drawn out. At first I liked them because they gave a sense of "I'm not the only one" but overall I think they were probably more therapeutic for the author to write, than for me to read. About half way through, I started just skimming the personal experiences.

I did find the tips and suggestions to be helpful and mostly realistic. The author is definitely trying to build a "tribe" of "orange rhinos" and have this be more than simply a book you read and move on from. I appreciate the support community she is working to develop but that wasn't necessarily what I was looking for. As with any self-help book, you decide what you want to takeaway and what changes you want to make.

I wouldn't discourage someone from reading this book, but it wouldn't be one of my top recommendations.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in tandem with No Drama Discipline and found them to be a great pair. Yell Less Love More (YLLM) provided an incredibly practical and honest approach to the challenges of parenting. The circumstances of the author's family - four boys in five years; boys with special needs - spoke to our own situation in a way that removed any excuses for not following through or doubts about whether this could truly work. This book has been inspiring. I made it to Day 31 my first time out. Today, I'm on Day 6 with be hope that I can actually do this - for me and my kids.

[Maryalene · Rating 2 out of 5]

I abandoned this one. As other reviewers have mentioned, this reads like a personal journal more than anything. I'm glad the author found something that worked for her, but the idea of the Orange Rhino never really clicked for me. On the bright side, my daughter saw the book and said I didn't need to read it. Apparently, I don't yell as much I think. Apparently, I'm downright "chill." ;-)

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall it was a great daily reminder to work towards yelling less. Some suggestions and ideas were a little goofy but the overall idea of the book was a great reminder for me each day!

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great tool with tons of creative ideas! I love the layout and would enjoy seeing more self-help/tool books that are laid out like this.

[Elevetha · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars.

Not very helpful, overall. She talked a lot more about her own personal story than was probably necessary. It definitely made it very relatable but I feel like most of these kinds of parenting books are?

I know that she said to take what helped and forget what didn't; to do what worked for you individually but her screaming/yelling into the toilet or into the freezer or cabinets or whatever seemed just absolutely stupid to me personally because A. THE TOILET??? I have three kids 4 and under, there is about one day of the week that I could maybe be okay with getting that close to the toilet and that is the day I clean it and B. if my kids can still hear me screaming and yelling, even if it's not AT them, that still defeats part of the purpose.

Currently at the bottom rank of the parenting books I'm going through.

[Kasey Bahr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely a yearly must read...maybe every 6 months just to check on my progress. I felt like this is a great book.

[Kieraclegg · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some reminders about why not to yell and what to do instead.

[Molly]

I started to read this when I was in the muck of it, would read a bit at a time, but sometimes when you are overloaded in a completely disconnected way (read: depressive episode), simply breathing in a particular way or even doing the unrecommended, yelling into the toilet (which, you know, goes against the yelling less thing)--it doesn't work. I say this because I recognize there are moments when are psyches are completely off-kilter and one simply needs to survive and get to the other side.

Which I did, and I am grateful.

Some nice moments that helped me feel human:

The Arabian proverb powerfully states: “The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers: is it true, is it kind, is it necessary?”

Every day I try to embrace American author Robert Elias’s quote, “If you can’t fight and you can’t flee, flow.”

“Victory is not won in miles, but in inches. Win a little now, hold your ground, and later, win a little more.” —Louis L’Amour

I had yelled to the point where all I felt was hatred for myself.***

So if an accident does happen and you do yell, forgive yourself. Let the shame and embarrassment go and know that there will be another opportunity to practice and succeed.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” —Ernest Hemingway

L.O.V.E.ing my kids—listening, observing, verifying, and empathizing—


*** This summer, I identified with this statement all too much.

[Krazybooklady · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely love this book. It is broken down into a 30 day guide. Each day includes a personal story from the author about her own journey and challenges to stop yelling, tips to help you stop yelling, actions to take to help you on your own journey, "Orange Rhino Revelations," plus inspirational quotes. This book is totally written as if the author, Sheila McCraith, is writing directly to the reader and is right there trying to help you. At the end of the book, there is "Beyond Day 30" and a summary of key points, including some of the most common triggers along with good suggestions for solutions. There is even an "Orange Rhino" sign on the back flap that you can cut out to put up in a high yelling area.

Can you stop yelling without reading this book? Of course. You can even do the Orange Rhino Challenge without this book. The author's blog, Facebook page, and Orange Rhino community are great resources. However, having this book would definitely be a plus, and I highly recommend purchasing it to help you on your way to yelling less and loving more.

I won an autographed copy from MomCaveTV. I was not required to write a review.

[Lori · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some funny stories and definitely a few good ideas and methods for being a less angry and frustrated parent to young kids. But there were almost too many ideas. Some of them start to feel rather thin on the usefulness and/or standard advice. Additionally – and I recognize this is my issue rather than the author's – I just got tired of hearing about the numerous challenges she had with her kids. I think all 4 of them (and herself) have some sort of disorder. It started to make me feel silly for any frustration I had at with my two healthy and "normal" girls! (I also wondered where her husband was in terms of being a father, because he was just not painted in the picture although she mentioned her marriage a few times.)

It is a short book and easy read, so worth a scan and perusal, but not much more.

[Baby Shastra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you lose your patience with your child? Has it becomes instinct to just raise your voice to get heard? If so, this book is for you.
When to read: Since the hardest ages to get through are around 2-4, might be a good idea to read just before the kid turns 2. This will help mentally prep you for the road ahead.

The book has a nice story, the author's personal story and it really gives that reassurance that you are not alone and that every parent can stop yelling! Just reading the first couple chapters is like a soothing balm on that guilty mind.
The book outlines a 30 day process, each day has new strategies and ideas to implement. There is also a score keeping process for those who need that kind of motivation.

[Shell Roush · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is such a great guide for any parent who wants to learn to stop yelling at their kids. And by yelling, I mean actual screaming(we all still have to correct them, but not at a scream). You can sit and read the book all in one sitting or you can read each day's section over the course of 30 days. It will help you understand your triggers and what to do about them. There are tips provided about other things you can do to keep yourself from yelling.

*I was sent an ARC of this book, but I would have bought one had I not been sent one. Excellent read and resource for parents.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

It seems appropriate that out of the 30 days of techniques in this book, while I was reading day 28 my three year old didn't want to eat his cereal and spilled it all over the book. I literally could have cried (or yelled) over spilled milk! But not while reading this!!
Obviously I haven't had the extreme yelling problems as the author, but I found the book to have great technique for self-control in general. An overall great reminder that our kids should be our most important portent audience and really are just little kids learning how to deal with the good and bad of life!

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book at just the right time. I found myself yelling more than I should have been and also felt very guilty and a terrible Mother. The book made me feel like I was not alone and that somebody else was going through the same issues and in the same boat as me. The book is a wonderful parenting book that made me really think and put things into better perspective. It was well written, as if a good friend is talking to you. I loved the examples Sheila gave. I found myself yelling less, the more I read the book and I am constantly thinking about Orange Rhinos now.

[Marshan Alma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book with successful ideas of how to stop yelling at your children. Although not written from a Christian perspective, it still gave a ton of tips and encouragement on how to change. The only disappointment that I found in the book was that the author occasionally cussed. (Hence the 4 instead of 5 stars.) That being said, I would still recommend this book to any parent.


And PS: I LOVE the color ORANGE !!!!!

[Aja Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that I will come back to when I have kids. It takes the pressure off the idea of being a perfect mom 100% of the time. Sheila McCraith doesn't expect you to stop yelling completely. She's realistic about goals, setting up color-coded maps that actually give you concise tips depending on your mood. The tables of tips are great breaks from the usual parent-books that have paragraph after paragraph of text.

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate the author's willingness to share the sometimes shameful behavior of yelling at kids. It is a welcomed resource for a parent who is seeking a community of other parents who struggle with perfection and control (don't we all!) and accepting that our behaviors (bad) become the memory not the offensive act our kids are doing (normal kids). I skimmed this booked and enjoyed pieces here and there. It is very "branded" and is based on author's blog.

[Charisse VanDerwerken]

I read this book in conjunction with my goal to stop yelling. I knew that I didn't have any good reason to ever get so upset and such a young child and that I needed to get things under control. This book was just what I needed! Sheila helped me identify my triggers (mealtime, bedtime, being late, the house is messy) and deal with, if not eliminate them. I am certainly not perfect now but it is amazing how much I have improved. It's been a year since I read this book and I'm so glad I did!

[Kate Puleo Unger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great for anyone who wants to learn to yell less. The daily chapters make it easy to read and provide step by step instructions to help you set and reach a goal of yelling less and loving more. I have gone through it once but will definitely be reviewing it again and again to help me remember that yelling doesn't help and my son deserves better!

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good points

When I saw that the author had four boys, I knew I was going to relate to this book. Boys are loud and wild and crazy!! Sometimes I feel like I have to yell in order for them to hear me.
The author told many personal stories to go along with her tips to stop yelling and to love more.

[Bird · Rating 4 out of 5]

I guess I'm a bit of a yeller, but not nearly as much as the author was before she started her Orange Rhino Challenge. So some of this book wasn't applicable. But her stories and advice did resonate with me for the most part, and some of the tips I hadn't heard before (even though I gobble down a good number of parenting books every year).

[Helena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great advice on how to yell at your kids less, particularly when it comes to identifying and dealing with the things that trigger you to yell. I found it helpful and will probably end up buying my own copy so I have it on hand to refer to, as the library is going to want theirs back. :)

[Kathryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was okay. I read it slowly over the course of several months, but it really did not do much for me. It just was not realistic to me. Great ideas, but doesn't work without the proper support.

[Michelle Mossey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great read. Inspiring. Honest. Lots of great ideas to help you keep calm and stop yelling.

[Christi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really want to be an Orange Rhino. Going to try.

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

Finally! A parenting book that relates to parents. It was nice to read that I wasn't the only parent who has yelled at their kids. The author offers really good advice about how to stop yelling.

[Kimberly J Hale · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good solid plan to yell less. The ideas were easy to implement even if I am less than perfect at implementing.