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Better Girlfriend Material
What happens when the road to love leads to a shocking self-discovery?
As an anxiety-plagued geek, I’m sure I’d be a terrible boyfriend. When a blue-eyed, tatted-up fantasy saunters into my life, I realize how right I am — for a reason I never imagined.
Red has the charismatic confidence of a guy who always gets what he wants, and he adores worshiping me almost as intensely as he gets off on making me feel filthy. I love it all — with one huge catch: If we’re not behind closed doors, his touch spirals me into panic.
But Red’s wild imagination — and surprising skill wielding a makeup brush — inspire a loophole: He’ll make me over and take me out as his girlfriend.
It’s insanely brilliant. As Red’s beautiful, cherished girl, I feel so good, so real… that it becomes terrifying. Because while I’ve fallen hard for him, now I’m also tumbling down the rabbit hole of a life-changing question I never thought to ask about my identity.
Red desperately wants to love the real me. Am I brave enough to let him? Or would it be easier to forfeit his unswerving devotion than to acknowledge the person I truly am?
About Better Girlfriend Material
This is Book One in the Red Trilogy and can be read as a standalone. No cliffhanger, HEA/HFN.
This book is a spicy contemporary romance that is appropriate for ages 18+. Themes include gender identity and the narrator's transgender awakening. The narrative includes elements that might be upsetting to some readers. More detail is available in the book's content information section, which can be viewed in the Look Inside sample.
As an anxiety-plagued geek, I’m sure I’d be a terrible boyfriend. When a blue-eyed, tatted-up fantasy saunters into my life, I realize how right I am — for a reason I never imagined.
Red has the charismatic confidence of a guy who always gets what he wants, and he adores worshiping me almost as intensely as he gets off on making me feel filthy. I love it all — with one huge catch: If we’re not behind closed doors, his touch spirals me into panic.
But Red’s wild imagination — and surprising skill wielding a makeup brush — inspire a loophole: He’ll make me over and take me out as his girlfriend.
It’s insanely brilliant. As Red’s beautiful, cherished girl, I feel so good, so real… that it becomes terrifying. Because while I’ve fallen hard for him, now I’m also tumbling down the rabbit hole of a life-changing question I never thought to ask about my identity.
Red desperately wants to love the real me. Am I brave enough to let him? Or would it be easier to forfeit his unswerving devotion than to acknowledge the person I truly am?
About Better Girlfriend Material
This is Book One in the Red Trilogy and can be read as a standalone. No cliffhanger, HEA/HFN.
This book is a spicy contemporary romance that is appropriate for ages 18+. Themes include gender identity and the narrator's transgender awakening. The narrative includes elements that might be upsetting to some readers. More detail is available in the book's content information section, which can be viewed in the Look Inside sample.
- GenresRomanceLGBTContemporary
349 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 9, 2024
11 people are currently reading
86 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
February 4, 2024
A Joyfully Jay review.
4.5 stars
Better Girlfriend Material is the first book in the Red Trilogy from author Em Jae Black. Ande is our narrator and, per the front matter in the book, Ande largely identifies as male and generally uses he/him pronouns in the story. While there is an intense relationship that developed between Ande and Red, Ande’s own journey through what the author identifies as dysphoria, anxiety, and self-negativity is just as much (if not more) central to this story. One thing the book does rather well is push readers to acknowledge gender in very specific and, frankly, graphic terms.
Readers who are interested in a thorough exploration of gender identity and expression, self-discovery, and super steamy romance are sure to love this story. There’s also a bit of an age-gap element with Ande being 23 to Red’s 40, and a wrong-side-of-the-tracks element with Ande being pretty dirt poor and Red being mysteriously super loaded. I would encourage fans of these tropes or who are intrigued by the characters and their unique get-together story to give this book a try.
Read Camille’s review in its entirety here.
4.5 stars
Better Girlfriend Material is the first book in the Red Trilogy from author Em Jae Black. Ande is our narrator and, per the front matter in the book, Ande largely identifies as male and generally uses he/him pronouns in the story. While there is an intense relationship that developed between Ande and Red, Ande’s own journey through what the author identifies as dysphoria, anxiety, and self-negativity is just as much (if not more) central to this story. One thing the book does rather well is push readers to acknowledge gender in very specific and, frankly, graphic terms.
Readers who are interested in a thorough exploration of gender identity and expression, self-discovery, and super steamy romance are sure to love this story. There’s also a bit of an age-gap element with Ande being 23 to Red’s 40, and a wrong-side-of-the-tracks element with Ande being pretty dirt poor and Red being mysteriously super loaded. I would encourage fans of these tropes or who are intrigued by the characters and their unique get-together story to give this book a try.
Read Camille’s review in its entirety here.
February 8, 2024
I've never read a book like this in my life. I don't even quite know what to say, to be honest. I'll definitely be reading the next book in this series.
March 2, 2025
Hoooo boy. What even was this? I am going to discuss with spoilers because this book was bizarre. It made me really, really uncomfortable. The premise is that a shy, loner college-age guy (our protagonist Ande) meets a hot older man at gym, this man comes on quite strong, and they end up in a weird sexual relationship.
The hot older guy is called Red, and for me, he was quite a sinister character. He has a mysterious past that we learn nothing about, we never even learn his real name. He love-bombs the shit out of Ande, puts him in awkward and potentially unsafe situations, and tells Ande that he loves him after like 2 dates. It just did not make sense and did not sit right with me. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, because it was classic narcissist behaviour. I didn't find the sexy times very appealing for this reason.
Ostensibly, this book is also about gender identity, but done in a way that felt almost offensive? So basically Ande thinks he is bi, but he can only get off when wearing women's lingerie, he finds this embarrassing, and it makes intimacy difficult for him. But Red is *really* into it, so Ande is on sexual cloud nine, even if Red makes him uncomfortable sometimes. The other thing about Ande is that he is horrified by the idea of being out and queer, he can barely look at Red in public. I know this doesn't have to make sense - people feel how they feel, but Ande has no family to judge him and his few friends seen pretty chill, so this internalised homophobia is just confusing, we never actually establish what he is afraid of. Anyway, their sexy lingerie situation evolves into Ande crossdressing in order to go on public dates with Red. Ande loves it, feels beautiful and free. And then we go from this to Red trying to convince Ande that he would be happier as Red's girlfriend. And then like Ande decides he is trans? I am so confused. I will completely own up to not understanding the trans experience because I am not trans, and also that it's not just one thing, every trans person has their own experience. But this just felt weird and fetishised, I don't know how to explain it, I was confused and discomfited by it.
Em Jae Black is not a bad writer at all, but something about this book just struck me as problematic. There are also so many unanswered questions. It seemed like it was going to be a trilogy, but seems to have stalled. The mysteries are the only reason I would continue to read this series, tbh.
The hot older guy is called Red, and for me, he was quite a sinister character. He has a mysterious past that we learn nothing about, we never even learn his real name. He love-bombs the shit out of Ande, puts him in awkward and potentially unsafe situations, and tells Ande that he loves him after like 2 dates. It just did not make sense and did not sit right with me. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, because it was classic narcissist behaviour. I didn't find the sexy times very appealing for this reason.
Ostensibly, this book is also about gender identity, but done in a way that felt almost offensive? So basically Ande thinks he is bi, but he can only get off when wearing women's lingerie, he finds this embarrassing, and it makes intimacy difficult for him. But Red is *really* into it, so Ande is on sexual cloud nine, even if Red makes him uncomfortable sometimes. The other thing about Ande is that he is horrified by the idea of being out and queer, he can barely look at Red in public. I know this doesn't have to make sense - people feel how they feel, but Ande has no family to judge him and his few friends seen pretty chill, so this internalised homophobia is just confusing, we never actually establish what he is afraid of. Anyway, their sexy lingerie situation evolves into Ande crossdressing in order to go on public dates with Red. Ande loves it, feels beautiful and free. And then we go from this to Red trying to convince Ande that he would be happier as Red's girlfriend. And then like Ande decides he is trans? I am so confused. I will completely own up to not understanding the trans experience because I am not trans, and also that it's not just one thing, every trans person has their own experience. But this just felt weird and fetishised, I don't know how to explain it, I was confused and discomfited by it.
Em Jae Black is not a bad writer at all, but something about this book just struck me as problematic. There are also so many unanswered questions. It seemed like it was going to be a trilogy, but seems to have stalled. The mysteries are the only reason I would continue to read this series, tbh.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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February 15, 2024DNF@ 15% when one MC we barely know confesses he’s falling in love with the other MC they barely know.
I was excited to try some trans rep I haven’t read before but the writing and start of this “relationship” is REALLY unsettling.
I was excited to try some trans rep I haven’t read before but the writing and start of this “relationship” is REALLY unsettling.
January 7, 2024
3.5 stars
I feel somewhat uneasy in my star rating for this book. This is book one in a series and I am very interested to see how the plot develops across the next books, and I'll be happy to revise my review for this once I've done so.
I thought the writing here was very good, especially considering that this is a debut novel. The story was very much in MC Ande's voice - they felt realistically like a 23 year old - and the book was well paced. I was surprised at how smut forward the plot was (the blurb I think doesn't reflect the speed at which our two leads become intimate) and if you're into degradation then I think you'd enjoy these scenes a lot. Looking back I'm surprised how much plot the story contains considering how explicit and plentiful the smut is - this is in no way a criticism - as well as how much of the story is devoted to Ande's anxieties. Their dysmorphia (and growing understanding that that is what they have) was well structured throughout - while the realisation takes Ande by surprise it felt very inevitable for me as the reader.
What's dropped my rating for this book is MMC Red. I didn't feel like his motivations were well explained, and his instalove felt very jarring and unrealistic to me. His behaviour throughout the book was one massive red flag which made it difficult for me to percieve the story as a romance. Ande was repeatedly in text worried about Red's scary and obsessive behaviour which made me feel like we were being guided by the author to view Red as troubling, but there was no pay off at all for that feeling (this is the main reason why I'm uncertain with how to rate this story). Ande goes along with what Red wants to do in all situations, even ones where they say they're not sure they're into what's happening. Red claims to be guided by Ande's needs, but I didn't feel like there was enough of a relationship built up for that to be the case. This slightly soured the transawakening narrative for me - I couldn't get rid of the niggle Ande was doing this all for Red rather than for themselves. There was one scene towards the end of the book that addressed this, but it was a little too late for me. Ande is clearly described as a vulnerable, isolated individual and Red's interest felt predatory to me rather than romantic. I couldn't work out if I was meant to feel this way or not, so the HEA/HFN didn't land well for me.
It's hard to judge a book which is clearly meant to be part of a series - and like I said I'm eager to continue the story and see what happens next. I received an advance reader copy of this book - my thoughts on it are entirely my own. I'm looking forward to what this author writes next.
I feel somewhat uneasy in my star rating for this book. This is book one in a series and I am very interested to see how the plot develops across the next books, and I'll be happy to revise my review for this once I've done so.
I thought the writing here was very good, especially considering that this is a debut novel. The story was very much in MC Ande's voice - they felt realistically like a 23 year old - and the book was well paced. I was surprised at how smut forward the plot was (the blurb I think doesn't reflect the speed at which our two leads become intimate) and if you're into degradation then I think you'd enjoy these scenes a lot. Looking back I'm surprised how much plot the story contains considering how explicit and plentiful the smut is - this is in no way a criticism - as well as how much of the story is devoted to Ande's anxieties. Their dysmorphia (and growing understanding that that is what they have) was well structured throughout - while the realisation takes Ande by surprise it felt very inevitable for me as the reader.
What's dropped my rating for this book is MMC Red. I didn't feel like his motivations were well explained, and his instalove felt very jarring and unrealistic to me. His behaviour throughout the book was one massive red flag which made it difficult for me to percieve the story as a romance. Ande was repeatedly in text worried about Red's scary and obsessive behaviour which made me feel like we were being guided by the author to view Red as troubling, but there was no pay off at all for that feeling (this is the main reason why I'm uncertain with how to rate this story). Ande goes along with what Red wants to do in all situations, even ones where they say they're not sure they're into what's happening. Red claims to be guided by Ande's needs, but I didn't feel like there was enough of a relationship built up for that to be the case. This slightly soured the transawakening narrative for me - I couldn't get rid of the niggle Ande was doing this all for Red rather than for themselves. There was one scene towards the end of the book that addressed this, but it was a little too late for me. Ande is clearly described as a vulnerable, isolated individual and Red's interest felt predatory to me rather than romantic. I couldn't work out if I was meant to feel this way or not, so the HEA/HFN didn't land well for me.
It's hard to judge a book which is clearly meant to be part of a series - and like I said I'm eager to continue the story and see what happens next. I received an advance reader copy of this book - my thoughts on it are entirely my own. I'm looking forward to what this author writes next.
January 9, 2024
4.1 Stars
The first thing I want to say is that it feels important to have read this book. I would say it's not my normal type of book (as an MM reader); although it is MM-coded in general, it starts to feel less like a MM romance partway through the book. The shift is subtle and well executed, and I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to read something outside what I consider my usual.
One thing I really like in this story is just how far gone Red is for Ande—he's fully obsessed. And yeah, sure, that's also maybe a red flag. WHATEVER, it's fiction, so I love it. 😉 But Red's the older one in the relationship and has so much more life and sexual experience than Ande, yet whenever he sees Ande, he's just in awe and says Oh my God. There's something about the one with more maturity and "practice" being so wonderstruck by the younger one... I love it.
This book kept me on my (emotional) toes the whole time. Just when I thought I figured out the characters and their feelings, something would change and there would be a setback or a bump in the road for them, and things would be different again. Make no mistake: Ande and Red didn't have an easy go of it, relationship-wise, despite the instalove and instalust they felt for each other. But I felt like these difficulties were happening in a way that was natural to the characters and their story, and in a way that gave weight to the turmoil Ande felt throughout the book.
Better Girlfriend Material is an excellently written book; there's no doubt in my mind about that. It is a beautiful story with an evocative subject that is handled with the care and respect that it requires. And yeah, it made me cry. I had a solid few pages of leaky eyes. Job well done by the author, who made me feel Ande's inner unrest and angst vicariously.
But also, y'all? It is filthyyy (and I mean that in the positive way). The steam in this book starts early (re: the instalust and instalove), and although there isn't much 🍑🍆, the book has other ways to increase the spice-o-meter. 👀
But I digress. It's not really about the spice (there's a lot of it though—just sayin'); it's about Ande's emotional journey and how Red plays a part in it. And that was a beautiful journey for me to be on with them.
Some Details:
Pairing: Ande & Red
POV: 1st Person, Single (Ande's POV)
Tense: Present
Angst: 3/5 😟😟😟
Spice Frequency: 3.5/5 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Spice Level: 3/5 🌶️🌶️🌶️
Tropes/Themes:
Age Gap (>10 Y)
Instalove/Instalust
Trans-Awakening
Fast Burn
Obsession
Degradation
Spitting
Snowballing
Piercings
Protectiveness
I received an ARC of this book; this is my honest review of it.
The first thing I want to say is that it feels important to have read this book. I would say it's not my normal type of book (as an MM reader); although it is MM-coded in general, it starts to feel less like a MM romance partway through the book. The shift is subtle and well executed, and I'm so glad that I had the opportunity to read something outside what I consider my usual.
One thing I really like in this story is just how far gone Red is for Ande—he's fully obsessed. And yeah, sure, that's also maybe a red flag. WHATEVER, it's fiction, so I love it. 😉 But Red's the older one in the relationship and has so much more life and sexual experience than Ande, yet whenever he sees Ande, he's just in awe and says Oh my God. There's something about the one with more maturity and "practice" being so wonderstruck by the younger one... I love it.
This book kept me on my (emotional) toes the whole time. Just when I thought I figured out the characters and their feelings, something would change and there would be a setback or a bump in the road for them, and things would be different again. Make no mistake: Ande and Red didn't have an easy go of it, relationship-wise, despite the instalove and instalust they felt for each other. But I felt like these difficulties were happening in a way that was natural to the characters and their story, and in a way that gave weight to the turmoil Ande felt throughout the book.
Better Girlfriend Material is an excellently written book; there's no doubt in my mind about that. It is a beautiful story with an evocative subject that is handled with the care and respect that it requires. And yeah, it made me cry. I had a solid few pages of leaky eyes. Job well done by the author, who made me feel Ande's inner unrest and angst vicariously.
But also, y'all? It is filthyyy (and I mean that in the positive way). The steam in this book starts early (re: the instalust and instalove), and although there isn't much 🍑🍆, the book has other ways to increase the spice-o-meter. 👀
But I digress. It's not really about the spice (there's a lot of it though—just sayin'); it's about Ande's emotional journey and how Red plays a part in it. And that was a beautiful journey for me to be on with them.
Some Details:
Pairing: Ande & Red
POV: 1st Person, Single (Ande's POV)
Tense: Present
Angst: 3/5 😟😟😟
Spice Frequency: 3.5/5 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Spice Level: 3/5 🌶️🌶️🌶️
Tropes/Themes:
Age Gap (>10 Y)
Instalove/Instalust
Trans-Awakening
Fast Burn
Obsession
Degradation
Spitting
Snowballing
Piercings
Protectiveness
I received an ARC of this book; this is my honest review of it.
January 6, 2024
**I will be referring to Ande using he/him pronouns throughout this review because that's predominantly what the character used.**
I'm ruminating on this book. Wow is what I can say. This is a debut novel and the fact that it's the first book from this author is shocking. The book is really, really well written. Ande is a 23 year old who never really feels like he fits in or even exists for that matter. He's a computer geek, a cosplay geek and teeters in his sexuality. He really has 2 good friends, both females. He comes from a family history that he would like to keep quiet, and a kink preference he is ashamed to share.
Red is a 40 year old, bisexual male. Large, tattooed, pierced and the epitome of a MAN. Red is confident, rich and unwaveringly unapologetic.
The two unlikely people meet and attraction blooms. Ande shares with Red his specific kink, and Red is not phased in the least. As their very sexual relationship progresses, Red's obsession and love for Ande grows-quickly. Ande has a major situation holding him back. He struggles with severe body dismorphia. The only time Ande truly feels like he and Red are at their best is when he's Red's girlfriend. Dressed up as a woman, Ande can be all he wants to be for Red and for himself.
The internal conflict for Ande and the intense protection of Red is really a gentle landing spot for these characters. Red wants Ande to be his very best, no matter what that looks like it means. He wants Ande to feel as beautiful as he is. Ande is terrified, emotional and confused. All I can say is thank goodness Ande found someone as caring and dedicated as Red to help him through this.
Red remains a bit of a mystery. I am so curious about his backstory, as he is still a bit of an enigma. Hopefully we will find out more about him in the next book. I am looking forward to it.
Overall I was very impressed. There is a LOT of sex in this book, with a lot of conversations and internal struggles about transitioning. Read the triggers.
*I received this book as an ARC and this review is my opinion.*
I'm ruminating on this book. Wow is what I can say. This is a debut novel and the fact that it's the first book from this author is shocking. The book is really, really well written. Ande is a 23 year old who never really feels like he fits in or even exists for that matter. He's a computer geek, a cosplay geek and teeters in his sexuality. He really has 2 good friends, both females. He comes from a family history that he would like to keep quiet, and a kink preference he is ashamed to share.
Red is a 40 year old, bisexual male. Large, tattooed, pierced and the epitome of a MAN. Red is confident, rich and unwaveringly unapologetic.
The two unlikely people meet and attraction blooms. Ande shares with Red his specific kink, and Red is not phased in the least. As their very sexual relationship progresses, Red's obsession and love for Ande grows-quickly. Ande has a major situation holding him back. He struggles with severe body dismorphia. The only time Ande truly feels like he and Red are at their best is when he's Red's girlfriend. Dressed up as a woman, Ande can be all he wants to be for Red and for himself.
The internal conflict for Ande and the intense protection of Red is really a gentle landing spot for these characters. Red wants Ande to be his very best, no matter what that looks like it means. He wants Ande to feel as beautiful as he is. Ande is terrified, emotional and confused. All I can say is thank goodness Ande found someone as caring and dedicated as Red to help him through this.
Red remains a bit of a mystery. I am so curious about his backstory, as he is still a bit of an enigma. Hopefully we will find out more about him in the next book. I am looking forward to it.
Overall I was very impressed. There is a LOT of sex in this book, with a lot of conversations and internal struggles about transitioning. Read the triggers.
*I received this book as an ARC and this review is my opinion.*
December 27, 2023
This is a bit outside of my usual read, but I really liked much of this story. Ande has always felt a bit uncomfortable in his daily life and I think his journey to figure himself out was very well done. Even his freak out moments feel true as he struggles internally. If Red was different, this probably would've been a five star read. However, Red was a red flag for me. He is obsessives, secretive, and already saying he loves Ande after one night together. It's all from Ande's POV, so we really don't know what's going through Red's mind or where he's coming from. I am interested to see if we get more information about him in the upcoming books as this is the first in a trilogy. The steamy scenes are spicy, and while I liked them, I don't think they're going to be for everyone. However, I did like the way that Red has slowly helped Ande to see himself in a new light.
While this is coded to read as an MM romance, it actually didn't feel like one to me. I don't know if it's Ande's mindset or what. Even though male/masculine terminology is used for much of the story, I think it was Ande's disassociation with his body that, to me at least, didn't hit the same. I'm mentioning it because it may be the same for others who consume a lot of MM romance. However, if you're a fan of queer romance in general, this most likely won't be an issue for you.
While this is coded to read as an MM romance, it actually didn't feel like one to me. I don't know if it's Ande's mindset or what. Even though male/masculine terminology is used for much of the story, I think it was Ande's disassociation with his body that, to me at least, didn't hit the same. I'm mentioning it because it may be the same for others who consume a lot of MM romance. However, if you're a fan of queer romance in general, this most likely won't be an issue for you.
December 30, 2023
I was lucky to receive an ARC of this debut novel by Em Jae Black.
The story is told only from Ande’s POV. His back story is tragic and seems to contribute to why he wants to feel invisible. When Red shows up, I completely buy in to the insta-lust. But when Red professes his love to Ande quickly, that is less believable, until you find out how old Red is. He is mature and knows what his feelings are toward Ande. Red is secretive about his past but hopefully we will find out more in the future books in the series.
Throughout the story you witness Ande struggling with body dysmorphia but he can’t quite figure out why on his own. Red pushes the envelope until Ande is forced to confront confusing feelings. I enjoyed going through this self discovery with Ande. It definitely gave me a different perspective from other trans MCs I’ve read.
The author does a great job with Ande’s character building. With each “dress up” experience, more of the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. I’m looking forward to reading the transformation and the rest of Red and Ande’s story.
The story is told only from Ande’s POV. His back story is tragic and seems to contribute to why he wants to feel invisible. When Red shows up, I completely buy in to the insta-lust. But when Red professes his love to Ande quickly, that is less believable, until you find out how old Red is. He is mature and knows what his feelings are toward Ande. Red is secretive about his past but hopefully we will find out more in the future books in the series.
Throughout the story you witness Ande struggling with body dysmorphia but he can’t quite figure out why on his own. Red pushes the envelope until Ande is forced to confront confusing feelings. I enjoyed going through this self discovery with Ande. It definitely gave me a different perspective from other trans MCs I’ve read.
The author does a great job with Ande’s character building. With each “dress up” experience, more of the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. I’m looking forward to reading the transformation and the rest of Red and Ande’s story.
April 24, 2024
Kinky and hot!
Better Girlfriend Material by Em Jae is about a trans girl, realizing that she's trans. My overall impression is that I love the story. It has some really beautiful, steamy AF scenes. It's deeply emotional and romantic.
There are just a few things that are stuck in my head as bothersome. The man, Red, is very mysterious. The book often aludes to things in his past, but never resolves them. He also acts in an obsessive, stalkery way that comes off a bit more creepy than hot. The tone makes it feel like he kind of pressures Ande into the realization she is trans. Which brings me to my biggest concern. Through all of this, she is encouraged to seek professional help but refuses. She doesn't even Google 'transgender' or do any research. The whole of her education on gender identity comes from Red.
Aside from wishing those things had been handled better, I loved the overall story. It is an excellent premise and a truly enjoyable book.
Romance - ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Steam - 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Humor - 🤣
Angst - 😭😭😭😭😭
Writing - ⭐⭐⭐
Better Girlfriend Material by Em Jae is about a trans girl, realizing that she's trans. My overall impression is that I love the story. It has some really beautiful, steamy AF scenes. It's deeply emotional and romantic.
There are just a few things that are stuck in my head as bothersome. The man, Red, is very mysterious. The book often aludes to things in his past, but never resolves them. He also acts in an obsessive, stalkery way that comes off a bit more creepy than hot. The tone makes it feel like he kind of pressures Ande into the realization she is trans. Which brings me to my biggest concern. Through all of this, she is encouraged to seek professional help but refuses. She doesn't even Google 'transgender' or do any research. The whole of her education on gender identity comes from Red.
Aside from wishing those things had been handled better, I loved the overall story. It is an excellent premise and a truly enjoyable book.
Romance - ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Steam - 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Humor - 🤣
Angst - 😭😭😭😭😭
Writing - ⭐⭐⭐
January 4, 2024
Holy wow. This book was so amazing. This is probably the first book I’ve ever read with this type of self-discovery in it and it was written so beautifully I felt connected to both Ande and Red. This book does explore some potentially triggering subject matter, so do be cautious and read trigger warnings. But trust me. Do yourself a favor and jump into this story right now. I can not wait for the rest of this story. I’m totally invested!
January 7, 2024
I enjoyed this book. There was a raw genuineness to Ande and Read's story. The complexity of Ande's thoughts, feelings and fears made this not only an intriguing read but a powerfully moving one. There is also plenty of steam to enjoy. This is only book one of three and it end on a happy for now. I am very eager to continue this series to find out everything that happens to this couple.
January 9, 2024
I was blessed with being an arc reader for this book. I really enjoyed this book. Lots of spice! I will say with she/her Andes self discovery was alot to take in. Red was such a supportive character and I enjoyed the friendships the characters had with others. I would love to see where this book could take off to in another!
February 25, 2024
Wow, this was not what I was expecting. Ande was a well thought out character ( wish I got more depth of back story) and I love the levels of discovery that they went through. The insta love felt a little forced, maybe more insta lust, how Ande saw it was more accurate. Red level of worship was a bit concerning the level of intensity was in fact scary and was addressed by the character which was great and helped make it feel realistic. I enjoyed the story and will continue to read works by the author
February 24, 2024
While some of the kink in this book wasn’t my cup of tea, and Red was a bit over the top in his obsession with Ande, I still loved it. The relationship and Ande’s emotional turmoil as Red helps him discover his real identity were so well done it was hard, as a reader, not to become involved with them.
January 3, 2024
I couldn't stop reading it!! I love the spice and the story. It was different but in a good way. I received an advance copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily. I love that it had spice and kinks in it. I love that in a book.
January 9, 2024
Better Girlfriend Material
This was such an original story of self discovery of being transgender. This book is full of intimacy between the two MC’s as well! Great debut novel!
This was such an original story of self discovery of being transgender. This book is full of intimacy between the two MC’s as well! Great debut novel!
January 10, 2024
Funny and heartfelt.
This book is such a celebration of love, identity, and accepting yourself.
This book is such a celebration of love, identity, and accepting yourself.
January 3, 2026
The early "I love you"s really didn't work, but otherwise this book was fantastic.
January 31, 2024
(I’m going to refer to Ande as she/her since that’s how she refers to herself at the end of the book and it is what feels right to me.)
This book is exceptional. It took me through the emotional wringer, I cried several times and genuinely this might be my favourite book of 2023.
Ande’s journey to self discovery is thoughtfully set out, and I felt for her so much. The author has done a great job of showing the process she works through and the key role her romance with Red plays in this. This book primarily erotica with a strong romantic edge I’d say, rather than the other way around, so there is a lot of spice and it features BDSM quite heavily. It’s super hot and well executed spice too!
Another reviewer has pointed out a brief point of fat-shaming which I also noticed, as it felt so out of place for me in a book that is otherwise beautifully inclusive.
Whilst there isn’t a cliff hanger per se, this book is definitely the first of a trilogy as there is a lot left unresolved. I can’t wait for the next book in the series and hope to find out a lot more about Red who is definitely a highly enigmatic character who we don’t find out much about.
Overall, 5 stars doesn’t seem enough for this book. I fully intend to re-read it quite soon and will be eagerly awaiting book 2!
This book is exceptional. It took me through the emotional wringer, I cried several times and genuinely this might be my favourite book of 2023.
Ande’s journey to self discovery is thoughtfully set out, and I felt for her so much. The author has done a great job of showing the process she works through and the key role her romance with Red plays in this. This book primarily erotica with a strong romantic edge I’d say, rather than the other way around, so there is a lot of spice and it features BDSM quite heavily. It’s super hot and well executed spice too!
Another reviewer has pointed out a brief point of fat-shaming which I also noticed, as it felt so out of place for me in a book that is otherwise beautifully inclusive.
Whilst there isn’t a cliff hanger per se, this book is definitely the first of a trilogy as there is a lot left unresolved. I can’t wait for the next book in the series and hope to find out a lot more about Red who is definitely a highly enigmatic character who we don’t find out much about.
Overall, 5 stars doesn’t seem enough for this book. I fully intend to re-read it quite soon and will be eagerly awaiting book 2!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 26, 2024
oh this was. Exceptional.
(i’m going to use she/her pronouns to refer to ande through the review just because it feels right, even though she doesn’t perceive herself as a woman or use she/her pronouns until past the middle point of the book!!)
before we get started, i love a good instalove trope. this executes the trope really well, giving me some reasons why the trope makes sense for them before getting off to the races. if you are not a fan of instalove, this one might be a bit more difficult for you to get into. to each their own!
number one, the book was Very spicy, more so than i was expecting from the blurb (ill get to that in a second). i really liked that!! the spice was done very well & was a really effective tool in how the story built. also really hot to have thoughtful Real BDSM in the story!
number two, even from the beginning, this didn’t seem like a m/m romance. i don’t read a Lot of m/m, it’s just not as much my style, but even from the beginning it seems like the author understood that this was a woman-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-woman-yet, and not a man-who-will-become-a-woman. it’s quite subtle, but it’s executed very well.
number three, the actual journey of Being Transgender seems very accurate specifically to how i see a lot of my transfem friends talk about it. the general experience of not ever really thinking about it until one day it just kind of hits you in the face that Maybe You’re Transgender? to my knowledge, INCREDIBLY accurate to trans women’s experience. that internal struggle (and the hardship in identifying with the Girl Version of herself at the beginning) was portrayed very thoughtfully and lovingly.
there are basically only two things that i didn’t like:
1) the most impactful one to me, which is that there’s a moment near the front with some self-hating thoughts where ande specifically points out the fact that she isn’t fat as being something she likes about her body, specifically saying, “i don’t have any flab around my belly, so at least there’s one part of me i don’t hate.” this sucks, to put it frankly.
this part of the paragraph boils down to, “i hate my body, but at least i’m not fat,” and that thought is never meaningfully challenged in the book. as a fat person myself, there’s a huge difference between reading a character who dislikes something about themselves that i also have vs a character who is grateful that “at least” they don’t have something that i do. this is small, and i of course don’t think it was intentional, but i thought it was worth bringing up.
2) i think the blurb maybe could use a LITTLE bit of a rewrite, i don’t think it effectively gets across the actual way the “makeover” concept develops for them. they are also CONSTANTLY boning down, which again, totally happy with it, but the blurb seems to indicate that it’s going to be romance with some smut when in reality it’s definitely a romance-heavy erotica. i couldn’t be happier, but it’s a little misleading.
all this to say, there are a lot of books i’ve read recently where i’ve enjoyed them, but i’m probably not going to buy the next one when it comes out. that is NOT the case with this one.
(i was provided an ARC of this book; all thoughts and opinions are my own!)
(i’m going to use she/her pronouns to refer to ande through the review just because it feels right, even though she doesn’t perceive herself as a woman or use she/her pronouns until past the middle point of the book!!)
before we get started, i love a good instalove trope. this executes the trope really well, giving me some reasons why the trope makes sense for them before getting off to the races. if you are not a fan of instalove, this one might be a bit more difficult for you to get into. to each their own!
number one, the book was Very spicy, more so than i was expecting from the blurb (ill get to that in a second). i really liked that!! the spice was done very well & was a really effective tool in how the story built. also really hot to have thoughtful Real BDSM in the story!
number two, even from the beginning, this didn’t seem like a m/m romance. i don’t read a Lot of m/m, it’s just not as much my style, but even from the beginning it seems like the author understood that this was a woman-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-woman-yet, and not a man-who-will-become-a-woman. it’s quite subtle, but it’s executed very well.
number three, the actual journey of Being Transgender seems very accurate specifically to how i see a lot of my transfem friends talk about it. the general experience of not ever really thinking about it until one day it just kind of hits you in the face that Maybe You’re Transgender? to my knowledge, INCREDIBLY accurate to trans women’s experience. that internal struggle (and the hardship in identifying with the Girl Version of herself at the beginning) was portrayed very thoughtfully and lovingly.
there are basically only two things that i didn’t like:
1) the most impactful one to me, which is that there’s a moment near the front with some self-hating thoughts where ande specifically points out the fact that she isn’t fat as being something she likes about her body, specifically saying, “i don’t have any flab around my belly, so at least there’s one part of me i don’t hate.” this sucks, to put it frankly.
this part of the paragraph boils down to, “i hate my body, but at least i’m not fat,” and that thought is never meaningfully challenged in the book. as a fat person myself, there’s a huge difference between reading a character who dislikes something about themselves that i also have vs a character who is grateful that “at least” they don’t have something that i do. this is small, and i of course don’t think it was intentional, but i thought it was worth bringing up.
2) i think the blurb maybe could use a LITTLE bit of a rewrite, i don’t think it effectively gets across the actual way the “makeover” concept develops for them. they are also CONSTANTLY boning down, which again, totally happy with it, but the blurb seems to indicate that it’s going to be romance with some smut when in reality it’s definitely a romance-heavy erotica. i couldn’t be happier, but it’s a little misleading.
all this to say, there are a lot of books i’ve read recently where i’ve enjoyed them, but i’m probably not going to buy the next one when it comes out. that is NOT the case with this one.
(i was provided an ARC of this book; all thoughts and opinions are my own!)
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