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Rainbow Redemption #2
Reckless Hearts
Seb
Marcus is my sister’s best friend. He’s also the most gorgeous and charming man in the universe. And he knows it.
He’s always seen me as a nerdy geek who can’t string together a coherent sentence around him. So when he unexpectedly propositions me at a party, I decide to take the opportunity for all it’s worth.
Turns out it’s a night that will change everything.
Marcus
There’s one person who’s always been my best friend’s younger brother. But when I’m annoyed at Saskia one night, I don’t just cross the line, I obliterate it.
That one night determines the trajectory of my life.
Because it turns out one encounter with Seb will never be enough. And as the years go by, Seb and I collide over and over again, drawn together by an unexplainable force neither of us can escape.
But how can I accept Seb’s heart when I’m not sure if mine is worthy to give?
Reckless Hearts is the second book in the Rainbow Redemption series but can be read as a stand-alone novel.
Marcus is my sister’s best friend. He’s also the most gorgeous and charming man in the universe. And he knows it.
He’s always seen me as a nerdy geek who can’t string together a coherent sentence around him. So when he unexpectedly propositions me at a party, I decide to take the opportunity for all it’s worth.
Turns out it’s a night that will change everything.
Marcus
There’s one person who’s always been my best friend’s younger brother. But when I’m annoyed at Saskia one night, I don’t just cross the line, I obliterate it.
That one night determines the trajectory of my life.
Because it turns out one encounter with Seb will never be enough. And as the years go by, Seb and I collide over and over again, drawn together by an unexplainable force neither of us can escape.
But how can I accept Seb’s heart when I’m not sure if mine is worthy to give?
Reckless Hearts is the second book in the Rainbow Redemption series but can be read as a stand-alone novel.
432 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 9, 2025
253 people are currently reading
1912 people want to read
About the author
Jax Calder
32 books1,162 followersJax's stories are all about light-hearted conversations and deeply-felt connections. She loves exploring exactly why two characters are the only ones who’ll make the other truly happy, and the journey they take to reach their happily-ever-after.
Jax lives in New Zealand and is a rabid sports fan, a hiking enthusiast and has a slightly unhealthy addiction to nature documentaries. As an extrovert who spends way too much time in her own head, she loves to connect with readers. To read her exclusive novella Being Set Up, sign up to her newsletter: https://jaxcalder.com/newsletter-sign.... You can also join her Facebook group Jax's Crew (www.facebook.com/groups/jaxcaldercrew) for bonus stories plus exclusive excerpts from her upcoming books.
Jax lives in New Zealand and is a rabid sports fan, a hiking enthusiast and has a slightly unhealthy addiction to nature documentaries. As an extrovert who spends way too much time in her own head, she loves to connect with readers. To read her exclusive novella Being Set Up, sign up to her newsletter: https://jaxcalder.com/newsletter-sign.... You can also join her Facebook group Jax's Crew (www.facebook.com/groups/jaxcaldercrew) for bonus stories plus exclusive excerpts from her upcoming books.
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January 14, 2025Had I known that one of the MCs becomes a Hollywood star and the other MC becomes the doormat who sucks his dick, I wouldn't have read this book.
I hate movie star/famous actor stories. I still have trauma from spending three years in L.A. (legit trauma, for real). I was there for a grad degree, but I underestimated how much bookish, introverted, nerdy me would come to abhor The City of Angels - the posturing, pretending, backbiting, gossiping. I had so many faux-friends but not a single real one.
Marcus ghosts Seb for SEVEN years, and Seb is just waiting to roll out the red carpet. Then he ghosts Seb some more because Marcus is always falling, and Seb is always there to catch him.
It's an uneven, unbalanced relationship dynamic built on sex, snatched moments, and Seb being Marcus' security blanket.
The conclusion features an Oscar acceptance speech, which just holy shit could not be more OTT & pretentious if I tried to carve a pumpkin with a salad fork for tiktok likes.
Yes, there is a HEA, and, oh yes, it's Just Sooo OMG Swoony, but I couldn't get behind this romance.
No rating because this story probably deserves more than the 1 star in my pocket.
I hate movie star/famous actor stories. I still have trauma from spending three years in L.A. (legit trauma, for real). I was there for a grad degree, but I underestimated how much bookish, introverted, nerdy me would come to abhor The City of Angels - the posturing, pretending, backbiting, gossiping. I had so many faux-friends but not a single real one.
Marcus ghosts Seb for SEVEN years, and Seb is just waiting to roll out the red carpet. Then he ghosts Seb some more because Marcus is always falling, and Seb is always there to catch him.
It's an uneven, unbalanced relationship dynamic built on sex, snatched moments, and Seb being Marcus' security blanket.
The conclusion features an Oscar acceptance speech, which just holy shit could not be more OTT & pretentious if I tried to carve a pumpkin with a salad fork for tiktok likes.
Yes, there is a HEA, and, oh yes, it's Just Sooo OMG Swoony, but I couldn't get behind this romance.
No rating because this story probably deserves more than the 1 star in my pocket.
January 5, 2025
Jax Calder just absolutely broke my heart but was nice enough to also put it back together again 😭
I've wanted Seb's story since I read Beautiful Hearts and it was everything I hoped for and more.
I spent the majority of this book feeling heartache and crying my eyes out. The relationship between Seb and Marcus is definitely a rollercoaster, but Seb knowing that he had to walk away for both of them to be saved was devastating.
Marcus's journey to self-acceptance and learning that he is capable of love was beautiful to follow, even though I did find myself wanting to shake him for being so stupid at times. I kept waiting for him to realise how toxic Jake was making his life!
I really enjoyed the role that the fairy tern played, and all of the bird conservation actually, and what it symbolised for Seb and Marcus. These two were meant to be together and their HEA was well deserved.
I even loved the epilogue. It was the happy feeling that I needed after such an emotionally heavy story and seeing Seb and Marcus having that life together was perfect! I'm glad Saskia ended up not being a huge obstacle for them too and her subplot didn't overpower the romance story.
Can't wait to see what comes next from Jax Calder!!
*****
I received an ARC of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review
I've wanted Seb's story since I read Beautiful Hearts and it was everything I hoped for and more.
I spent the majority of this book feeling heartache and crying my eyes out. The relationship between Seb and Marcus is definitely a rollercoaster, but Seb knowing that he had to walk away for both of them to be saved was devastating.
Marcus's journey to self-acceptance and learning that he is capable of love was beautiful to follow, even though I did find myself wanting to shake him for being so stupid at times. I kept waiting for him to realise how toxic Jake was making his life!
I really enjoyed the role that the fairy tern played, and all of the bird conservation actually, and what it symbolised for Seb and Marcus. These two were meant to be together and their HEA was well deserved.
I even loved the epilogue. It was the happy feeling that I needed after such an emotionally heavy story and seeing Seb and Marcus having that life together was perfect! I'm glad Saskia ended up not being a huge obstacle for them too and her subplot didn't overpower the romance story.
Can't wait to see what comes next from Jax Calder!!
*****
I received an ARC of this book from Gay Romance Reviews, and this is my honest review
January 12, 2025
✰ 2.75 stars ✰
So, I'm just going to get the bad feelings I had out of the way first, so I can highlight some of the parts that worked for me. 🙆🏻♀️
The beginning one-fourth of the story with writing so predictable and unappealing, if not unoriginal that if I could cut and paste it into other books, you would find the similar phrases in the story. It was hurried and I know it kinda is channeling that heady intoxicating feeling of hooking up with the object of your desire, while also staving off your own inner qualms of going behind your best friend's back, but it was roll my eyes kind of rushed intensity, y'know? 🤷🏻♀️
Saskia - oh boy, if I thought the annoying ex could get on my nerves, nothing prepared me for how aggravating it would be to have an older sister who serves as the catalyst for the forbidden fruit of their entire dynamic. 😒🙄 Not to mention how I never really got a sense of why Seb really had such strong reservations for keeping it a secret from her, especially when he would feel so possessive over Marcus when they would be in the same room together. Besides, they are ADULTS! 😩 Don't you think it's fair for them to make their own decisions? Why not just be upfront with Marcus about those doubts he did have? 😮💨 And urgh, throw in the epilogue x 2 which took a direction I was not entirely on board with, left an even more unpleasant taste in my mouth. I do not have anything against the context of it, I just did not like that it felt like the author had to redeem her previous self-involved behavior and this was the only convincing if not convenient way to do so, so that she could earn her way back into the good graces of the readers, as well as the two of them. Yeah, she was not my favorite person. 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙅🏻♀️
“It’s as if the last seven years were just a commercial break in our story.”
The time jumps and illustrious movie career Marcus had, which, I know, seems like it should be convincingly believable, considering the highs a lot of young actors are achieving in Hollywood nowadays, but it did sound a bit of a stretch to me. Yes, I am really annoying sometimes, I am sorry. 😅 I also couldn't buy into how easily he chose to follow the path of an actor - simply to escape his feelings for Seb or just potentially chose the path of life handed to him. It was difficult to be forgiving of some of his way of thinking, cuz radio silence did feel like an uncalled for thing to do and honestly didn't make much sense to me. 😔
A few personal pre-reading aggravations was me reading the teaser beforehand and not really appreciating how Marcus did initially instigate something with Little Kleggs. I also was slightly wary that it could be read as a stand-alone; fortunately, it was not that much of a troubling factor. It's also almost impossible not to note the slight similarity to Alessandra Hazard's Just a Bit Heartless cover, and yes, I know it's the same at all, maybe not even the same model, but that certain familiarity definitely played a part in my apprehension.
The game I've started playing where I try to see which word appears an ample number of times that it starts to stick out at an alarming rate. Lick definitely took the stage with an appearance of over 50 times, but reckless eventually wormed its way in; but I can be forgiving of that, considering how the two of them were certainly being reckless with their hearts. 😢
“How about you worry about your own heart, and I’ll worry about mine?” I say.
Later, as I doze off, he whispers words against my skin. “It’s too late. I’m already worrying about your heart.”
Despite these personal grievances, there were certain parts that stood out for me in a positive way. I liked how the author captured how it was their Reckless Hearts that served as the reason behind their conflicting desire to be together - 'just two imperfect people loving each other.' Whether it was Seb being reckless with his feelings for Marcus - having him want him so strongly, even when Marcus has warned him that he'll never be able to return his love - or it was Marcus being reckless with his own health, making detrimental choices with his health, that could only lead Seb to believe that his love was acting as a bane rather than a blessing. 🥺 'I’m worried I’m starting to like you too much.' It's taking a risk every time they have to hide and lie to Saskia about who they really want to be with - fighting the long distance hurdles for any stolen moment to cling onto as much time together as possible, even when the thrill of it being forbidden is the taste that they crave even more.
“But I do know that whatever withered remains of my heart are left belong to you.”
And they were sweet together; I may not have been a fan of how the kisses and the licks were described, but I did enjoy the time they stole together - their undeniable chemistry as secretive friends with explosive benefits. 'I want to corrupt him and protect him in equal measure.' They were from different worlds and complete opposites - Seb the nerdy shy scientist with a passion and a purpose and Marcus, 'the single occupant of the space where the Venn diagram of stunning prettiness and masculine beauty overlap' and once aimless, directionless, but now Hollywood's Golden actor; but Seb's patience and consideration calmed Marcus, saw the real him, let him open up and be vulnerable around him - a safe and supportive anchor to bear his soul to. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 Even with the hurdles and separation of time and space, their feelings never lost that spark. And while the physical intimacy was rather flat in its description, I enjoyed the levity in their other interactions; the exchanges of animal facts, the light teasing, the playful flirting, even the warmth of a comforting embrace. And most notably, the final touch at the end that really brought their love story to a deserving close - a finality that I thought carried well throughout. 🫂
“But I know all about recklessness.
My heart has always been reckless when it comes to Marcus.”
So in that sense, the story and the title really plays out well. 🤍👌🏻 For when affection and emotions become even stronger, it brings out even more of a desperation to save whatever they can before it leaves either of them heartbroken than before. And that is what stood out for me. As much as I didn't buy into the whole Saskia selfish theatrics, I liked how Marcus' trauma and guilt shaped their relationship into a healthy one - one which felt believable enough for me to understand. 'I want to be worthwhile. I want my life to mean something.' There were some beautifully written phrases that captured the aching and yearning to be enough for the other - the want to have and have-not - ones that captured the angst beautifully. 🥹 Seb's crush on Marcus never wavered, never faltered - from fifteen to twenty-five and then some; okay, fine, I didn't really like that Marcus cut him off the way he did - for so long - nor did I like how easily they were able to pick up where they left off each time around - but I get it. 👍🏻
“It’s a permanent reminder that some things are worth fighting for, worth healing for.”
I get that it wasn't their incompatibility that prevented them from being together, it was Marcus' feelings of being unworthy of his love and affection - not being able to shed the darkness of his own heart that he had to seek it out in trying to win the approval of the masses to soothe the aching in his heart. It's a dangerous feeling when you see that your love may be the very thing hurting the one you love - a double-edged sword that 'can simultaneously be the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me' and makes you have to decide that keeping them in your lives is worth the pain they're inflicting upon themselves. But it is also that love that pushes you to try and be better - not only for each other, but to heal the part of yourself that you thought you'd lost forever. 💟
“I’ve never thought myself capable of love.
You are everything to me, I want to whisper to him.
But I can’t.
Because that would be promising him more than I’m capable of giving.
I can be reckless with my own heart. I refuse to be reckless with his.”
So, I'm just going to get the bad feelings I had out of the way first, so I can highlight some of the parts that worked for me. 🙆🏻♀️
The beginning one-fourth of the story with writing so predictable and unappealing, if not unoriginal that if I could cut and paste it into other books, you would find the similar phrases in the story. It was hurried and I know it kinda is channeling that heady intoxicating feeling of hooking up with the object of your desire, while also staving off your own inner qualms of going behind your best friend's back, but it was roll my eyes kind of rushed intensity, y'know? 🤷🏻♀️
Saskia - oh boy, if I thought the annoying ex could get on my nerves, nothing prepared me for how aggravating it would be to have an older sister who serves as the catalyst for the forbidden fruit of their entire dynamic. 😒🙄 Not to mention how I never really got a sense of why Seb really had such strong reservations for keeping it a secret from her, especially when he would feel so possessive over Marcus when they would be in the same room together. Besides, they are ADULTS! 😩 Don't you think it's fair for them to make their own decisions? Why not just be upfront with Marcus about those doubts he did have? 😮💨 And urgh, throw in the epilogue x 2 which took a direction I was not entirely on board with, left an even more unpleasant taste in my mouth. I do not have anything against the context of it, I just did not like that it felt like the author had to redeem her previous self-involved behavior and this was the only convincing if not convenient way to do so, so that she could earn her way back into the good graces of the readers, as well as the two of them. Yeah, she was not my favorite person. 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙅🏻♀️
“It’s as if the last seven years were just a commercial break in our story.”
The time jumps and illustrious movie career Marcus had, which, I know, seems like it should be convincingly believable, considering the highs a lot of young actors are achieving in Hollywood nowadays, but it did sound a bit of a stretch to me. Yes, I am really annoying sometimes, I am sorry. 😅 I also couldn't buy into how easily he chose to follow the path of an actor - simply to escape his feelings for Seb or just potentially chose the path of life handed to him. It was difficult to be forgiving of some of his way of thinking, cuz radio silence did feel like an uncalled for thing to do and honestly didn't make much sense to me. 😔
A few personal pre-reading aggravations was me reading the teaser beforehand and not really appreciating how Marcus did initially instigate something with Little Kleggs. I also was slightly wary that it could be read as a stand-alone; fortunately, it was not that much of a troubling factor. It's also almost impossible not to note the slight similarity to Alessandra Hazard's Just a Bit Heartless cover, and yes, I know it's the same at all, maybe not even the same model, but that certain familiarity definitely played a part in my apprehension.
The game I've started playing where I try to see which word appears an ample number of times that it starts to stick out at an alarming rate. Lick definitely took the stage with an appearance of over 50 times, but reckless eventually wormed its way in; but I can be forgiving of that, considering how the two of them were certainly being reckless with their hearts. 😢
“How about you worry about your own heart, and I’ll worry about mine?” I say.
Later, as I doze off, he whispers words against my skin. “It’s too late. I’m already worrying about your heart.”
Despite these personal grievances, there were certain parts that stood out for me in a positive way. I liked how the author captured how it was their Reckless Hearts that served as the reason behind their conflicting desire to be together - 'just two imperfect people loving each other.' Whether it was Seb being reckless with his feelings for Marcus - having him want him so strongly, even when Marcus has warned him that he'll never be able to return his love - or it was Marcus being reckless with his own health, making detrimental choices with his health, that could only lead Seb to believe that his love was acting as a bane rather than a blessing. 🥺 'I’m worried I’m starting to like you too much.' It's taking a risk every time they have to hide and lie to Saskia about who they really want to be with - fighting the long distance hurdles for any stolen moment to cling onto as much time together as possible, even when the thrill of it being forbidden is the taste that they crave even more.
“But I do know that whatever withered remains of my heart are left belong to you.”
And they were sweet together; I may not have been a fan of how the kisses and the licks were described, but I did enjoy the time they stole together - their undeniable chemistry as secretive friends with explosive benefits. 'I want to corrupt him and protect him in equal measure.' They were from different worlds and complete opposites - Seb the nerdy shy scientist with a passion and a purpose and Marcus, 'the single occupant of the space where the Venn diagram of stunning prettiness and masculine beauty overlap' and once aimless, directionless, but now Hollywood's Golden actor; but Seb's patience and consideration calmed Marcus, saw the real him, let him open up and be vulnerable around him - a safe and supportive anchor to bear his soul to. ❤️🩹❤️🩹 Even with the hurdles and separation of time and space, their feelings never lost that spark. And while the physical intimacy was rather flat in its description, I enjoyed the levity in their other interactions; the exchanges of animal facts, the light teasing, the playful flirting, even the warmth of a comforting embrace. And most notably, the final touch at the end that really brought their love story to a deserving close - a finality that I thought carried well throughout. 🫂
“But I know all about recklessness.
My heart has always been reckless when it comes to Marcus.”
So in that sense, the story and the title really plays out well. 🤍👌🏻 For when affection and emotions become even stronger, it brings out even more of a desperation to save whatever they can before it leaves either of them heartbroken than before. And that is what stood out for me. As much as I didn't buy into the whole Saskia selfish theatrics, I liked how Marcus' trauma and guilt shaped their relationship into a healthy one - one which felt believable enough for me to understand. 'I want to be worthwhile. I want my life to mean something.' There were some beautifully written phrases that captured the aching and yearning to be enough for the other - the want to have and have-not - ones that captured the angst beautifully. 🥹 Seb's crush on Marcus never wavered, never faltered - from fifteen to twenty-five and then some; okay, fine, I didn't really like that Marcus cut him off the way he did - for so long - nor did I like how easily they were able to pick up where they left off each time around - but I get it. 👍🏻
“It’s a permanent reminder that some things are worth fighting for, worth healing for.”
I get that it wasn't their incompatibility that prevented them from being together, it was Marcus' feelings of being unworthy of his love and affection - not being able to shed the darkness of his own heart that he had to seek it out in trying to win the approval of the masses to soothe the aching in his heart. It's a dangerous feeling when you see that your love may be the very thing hurting the one you love - a double-edged sword that 'can simultaneously be the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me' and makes you have to decide that keeping them in your lives is worth the pain they're inflicting upon themselves. But it is also that love that pushes you to try and be better - not only for each other, but to heal the part of yourself that you thought you'd lost forever. 💟
Did not finish
January 11, 2025DNF 22%
There are few things I despise in books more than the female, whether it be a friend or ex (in this instance it’s a sister), is a caricature of every bad girl and is so spoiled and “perfect” she gets everything she wants, even from her parents. I could tell she was going to be a huge issue for me. Plus the brother, Seb, is an afterthought to everyone. Marcus is a manwhore and the sister’s best friend and she already has said very mean things to Marcus. Seb and Marcus hook up, have a great connection but Seb is now a doormat of a character. It’s reading like a high drama teenaged soap opera.
I love so many of this authors books but the ones I haven’t liked have very bad female characters. They’re so over the top.
There are few things I despise in books more than the female, whether it be a friend or ex (in this instance it’s a sister), is a caricature of every bad girl and is so spoiled and “perfect” she gets everything she wants, even from her parents. I could tell she was going to be a huge issue for me. Plus the brother, Seb, is an afterthought to everyone. Marcus is a manwhore and the sister’s best friend and she already has said very mean things to Marcus. Seb and Marcus hook up, have a great connection but Seb is now a doormat of a character. It’s reading like a high drama teenaged soap opera.
I love so many of this authors books but the ones I haven’t liked have very bad female characters. They’re so over the top.
Read
April 6, 2025DNF 33%
I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEEEEE movie star books and 7 years of ghosting the other MC is beyond my forgiveness capabilities.
I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAATEEEEEEEEEEEEE movie star books and 7 years of ghosting the other MC is beyond my forgiveness capabilities.
June 17, 2025
4.5 Stars!! Unpopular opinion I know; but I genuinely loved the story. ❤️❤️ It was heartbreaking and emotional.. and I teared up a bunch of times. Marcus was one of the most physically perfect and mentally imperfect MCs I have ever known; however I also loved Seb’s passion about conservation and enjoyed reading about the Fairy Tern; an endangered bird from New Zealand. It’s quite something when a book makes you curious enough to Google about a bird. 😍 Overall, a great book for a sleepless night, if you don’t have a busy morning the next day. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t plan well.. so I am sleep deprived and exhausted.. 🙄 Nevertheless, I am looking forward to the next one in the series. 🥰
won-t-read-bc-nopes
January 31, 2025Just adding to the dnr shelf because I need to admit I can't handle the 7 years of separation with OM action (it is off-page, not in your face, for anyone who needs to know! I just...still...my imagination is too active to stomach it, I guess) situation. The sister character also sounds just dreadful and melodramatic. Just not for me, even with this beloved author. The ending big gesture sounds great though! But. I'll wait for the author's next work. The next two books sound amazing and right up my alley.
I've re-read Beautiful Hearts three times now, will stick to that one and look for the next Rainbow Redemption. But I do highly recommend this author and all she writes!
I've re-read Beautiful Hearts three times now, will stick to that one and look for the next Rainbow Redemption. But I do highly recommend this author and all she writes!
January 7, 2025
This is book 2 but can be read as a standalone. Wow - what a love story. I feel all wrung out after finishing this.
The cover reminds me of an Alessandra Hazard book cover , I can’t think which one.
Anyway onto the book, and I think this is going to be an angsty read so buckle up and look for the nearby Kleenex.
Nerdy, innocent, lovely Seb lives in his older sister Saskia’s shadow. She is spoiled, she has a pathological need to be centre of attention , the star attraction, and of course their parents favourite child. He has a massive crush on Marcus that makes renders speech incapable.
Marcus is Saskia’s best friend, an extrovert, effortlessly cool and charming and 2 peas in a pod with saskia.
He also has trust issues, parent issues and has panic attacks.
One night, Marcus and Seb have a hot hookup.
OMG Saskia is coming across very unlikeable, selfish, spoiled - me, me, me. There’s too much already about her and I’m struggling to get through the book because of my intense dislike of her and overprotective feelings for Seb.
Marcus and Seb continue to have regular secret hookups.
“Being with Seb, making Seb happy, makes me feel like I’m a good guy. That I can be the hero of the movie instead of the villain. And I seldom feel like that in my life, which must be why I find it so…intoxicating.”
Marcus is starting to really feel a lot for Seb, enough to be thinking of them as boyfriends. But fate has other ideas .
Arghhh - ANGST!!!
ITS FREAKING SEVEN YEARS LATER!!!
“It’s going to be a whole day about Saskia!”
“Isn’t every day a Saskia day?” I ask, and she lets loose her tinkling laugh.
Vomit emoji
Marcus and Seb see each other after seven years and have a tentative intimate moment of conversation- where Saskia interrupts. *eyeroll*
I don’t even think she’s supposed to be a villian in this book but far out her character grates on me!
Marcus can’t stop thinking of Seb and how authentic he is. I don’t know if Marcus sees that in himself.
HOW DARE YOU SASKIA! Telling Marcus that Seb is a no go zone. Like what the actual fuck.
“After seven years, I still remember exactly how Seb kisses.”
They secretly hook up again. Seb centres Marcus, he can be just himself when they are together, without pretence. It’s longing, it’s real, it’s intimate - it freaks the fuck out of Marcus.
Seb lives in New Zealand and Marcus lives in America. They text each other, video call, they long for each other. They meet up in Iceland and become boyfriends.
Marcus doesn’t think he’s good enough for Seb and is scared he will break Seb’s heart.
“Between meeting up in exotic locations around the world, Marcus and I message every day, sharing snapshots of our lives. But it never feels like enough. I miss him constantly with an ache that hurts.”
It’s been a year of them in a secret relationship and Seb doesn’t trust Saskia’s reaction if she were to find out. Yeah, I get that. He also doesn’t trust enough in his relationship with Marcus and that if Saskia demanded an either her or Seb choice, that Marcus would choose him.
Marcus is a damaged soul. There’s unspoken trauma and an emptiness. He seeks validation and self worth through other people’s comments, likes, and praise. He feels hollow, unable to let people see the real him.
“Is this what love is? I’ve never thought myself capable of love. You are everything to me, I want to whisper to him. But I can’t. Because that would be promising him more than I’m capable of giving. I can be reckless with my own heart. I refuse to be reckless with his.”
Eek Saskia finally finds out about Seb and Marcus and of course turns it into ‘The Saskia Show’.
There’s a heartbreaking moment when it’s just Seb and Marcus and Marcus breakdown , finally sharing his traumatic past with Seb.
“I want to gather all his broken pieces and hold them together until they fuse, until the cracks fill with something stronger than guilt and regret.”
Marcus has taken to drugs to help keep his demons away. He’s destroying himself but also destroying Seb.
Omg the angst. They want to be with each other but also both want and need different things in life.
Raw devastation as Seb ends the relationship. This is actually a story I’m not to sure is going to end in a happily ever after.
Ok this quote is pretty poetic , possibly a Carrie Fisher quote.
“If your heart is broken, make art with the pieces.”
Marcus seeks help, this is promising.
BUT… it’s another year later .
Oh and Saskia finally became bearable .
Marcus has been on quite the healing journey. He’s ready to be a man deserving of Seb. There’s a big love declaration and a happy ending .
“Just two imperfect people loving each other,” he says softly.
The cover reminds me of an Alessandra Hazard book cover , I can’t think which one.
Anyway onto the book, and I think this is going to be an angsty read so buckle up and look for the nearby Kleenex.
Nerdy, innocent, lovely Seb lives in his older sister Saskia’s shadow. She is spoiled, she has a pathological need to be centre of attention , the star attraction, and of course their parents favourite child. He has a massive crush on Marcus that makes renders speech incapable.
Marcus is Saskia’s best friend, an extrovert, effortlessly cool and charming and 2 peas in a pod with saskia.
He also has trust issues, parent issues and has panic attacks.
One night, Marcus and Seb have a hot hookup.
OMG Saskia is coming across very unlikeable, selfish, spoiled - me, me, me. There’s too much already about her and I’m struggling to get through the book because of my intense dislike of her and overprotective feelings for Seb.
Marcus and Seb continue to have regular secret hookups.
“Being with Seb, making Seb happy, makes me feel like I’m a good guy. That I can be the hero of the movie instead of the villain. And I seldom feel like that in my life, which must be why I find it so…intoxicating.”
Marcus is starting to really feel a lot for Seb, enough to be thinking of them as boyfriends. But fate has other ideas .
Arghhh - ANGST!!!
ITS FREAKING SEVEN YEARS LATER!!!
“It’s going to be a whole day about Saskia!”
“Isn’t every day a Saskia day?” I ask, and she lets loose her tinkling laugh.
Vomit emoji
Marcus and Seb see each other after seven years and have a tentative intimate moment of conversation- where Saskia interrupts. *eyeroll*
I don’t even think she’s supposed to be a villian in this book but far out her character grates on me!
Marcus can’t stop thinking of Seb and how authentic he is. I don’t know if Marcus sees that in himself.
HOW DARE YOU SASKIA! Telling Marcus that Seb is a no go zone. Like what the actual fuck.
“After seven years, I still remember exactly how Seb kisses.”
They secretly hook up again. Seb centres Marcus, he can be just himself when they are together, without pretence. It’s longing, it’s real, it’s intimate - it freaks the fuck out of Marcus.
Seb lives in New Zealand and Marcus lives in America. They text each other, video call, they long for each other. They meet up in Iceland and become boyfriends.
Marcus doesn’t think he’s good enough for Seb and is scared he will break Seb’s heart.
“Between meeting up in exotic locations around the world, Marcus and I message every day, sharing snapshots of our lives. But it never feels like enough. I miss him constantly with an ache that hurts.”
It’s been a year of them in a secret relationship and Seb doesn’t trust Saskia’s reaction if she were to find out. Yeah, I get that. He also doesn’t trust enough in his relationship with Marcus and that if Saskia demanded an either her or Seb choice, that Marcus would choose him.
Marcus is a damaged soul. There’s unspoken trauma and an emptiness. He seeks validation and self worth through other people’s comments, likes, and praise. He feels hollow, unable to let people see the real him.
“Is this what love is? I’ve never thought myself capable of love. You are everything to me, I want to whisper to him. But I can’t. Because that would be promising him more than I’m capable of giving. I can be reckless with my own heart. I refuse to be reckless with his.”
Eek Saskia finally finds out about Seb and Marcus and of course turns it into ‘The Saskia Show’.
There’s a heartbreaking moment when it’s just Seb and Marcus and Marcus breakdown , finally sharing his traumatic past with Seb.
“I want to gather all his broken pieces and hold them together until they fuse, until the cracks fill with something stronger than guilt and regret.”
Marcus has taken to drugs to help keep his demons away. He’s destroying himself but also destroying Seb.
Omg the angst. They want to be with each other but also both want and need different things in life.
Raw devastation as Seb ends the relationship. This is actually a story I’m not to sure is going to end in a happily ever after.
Ok this quote is pretty poetic , possibly a Carrie Fisher quote.
“If your heart is broken, make art with the pieces.”
Marcus seeks help, this is promising.
BUT… it’s another year later .
Oh and Saskia finally became bearable .
Marcus has been on quite the healing journey. He’s ready to be a man deserving of Seb. There’s a big love declaration and a happy ending .
“Just two imperfect people loving each other,” he says softly.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 10, 2025
DNF - down with manwhores and doormats
I DNF’d this book at 20%. I’m sick and tired of reading contemporary stories so obsessed with hook up culture. MC1 is a manwhore up to this point and I’m just waiting for the part where I start connecting with and liking his character. I don’t. I don’t want to invest more time reading about a character whose main trait so far is how many men he can get into his bed, or every time he’s intimate with MC2 - about how each of those moments compares to his past hook ups. On the flip side, MC2 is a doormat who thinks MC1 can do no wrong even when he’s hooking up with other people right in front of him. Have some standards FFS. This book was not for me.
I DNF’d this book at 20%. I’m sick and tired of reading contemporary stories so obsessed with hook up culture. MC1 is a manwhore up to this point and I’m just waiting for the part where I start connecting with and liking his character. I don’t. I don’t want to invest more time reading about a character whose main trait so far is how many men he can get into his bed, or every time he’s intimate with MC2 - about how each of those moments compares to his past hook ups. On the flip side, MC2 is a doormat who thinks MC1 can do no wrong even when he’s hooking up with other people right in front of him. Have some standards FFS. This book was not for me.
January 14, 2025
This book is the prime example of how to write a romance between two people who have absolutely zero chemistry..
The main characters were so annoying. To me it felt like Marcus was keeping Seb around because, Seb was "not like other people". And Seb was always over the moon, no matter how shitty he was being treated because he got to touch THE Marcus.
The main characters were so annoying. To me it felt like Marcus was keeping Seb around because, Seb was "not like other people". And Seb was always over the moon, no matter how shitty he was being treated because he got to touch THE Marcus.
January 3, 2025
You know what I REALLY hate? Agreeing with breakups. Like sure, I hate when the MCs break up because one's being a dumb fuck but when they're absolutely right to break up?
Yeeish. I'd rather they be stupid than their love be hopeless.
Dumping the man he'd been in love with since he was 15 because he realized they were breaking each other broke ME(like sure, y'all have your issues but why do I have to hurt because of it?)
Marcus calling Seb's sister and handing her a laundry list of things she needs to do to ensure Seb is okay after Seb dumped him broke me.
I wanted to just reach into the scene and fix it for them so they could just be together.
Marcus is so unintentionally romantic, I swear. Would bet everything and everyone he knows on the fact that he's incapable of love but...
'And my promise to Seb is worth more than my life.'
Never once broke it too, mind you. Even when the reason for their breakup was no longer a factor.
Gah.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.......THIS HAS A REALLY SWEET GRAND GESTURE AND LET ME TELL YOU, I'M A SUCKERRRR FOR THOSE.
Seb too, if what happened after is any indication💀
FYI, this is a sibling's best friend romance, and I love that this aspect of it, while well explored, wasn't anywhere close to the main conflict in their relationship.
4.5 rounded down because the epilogue was a bit of a drag though. Too fluffy for me.
Got a review copy of this via GRR because I never met a Jax Calder book I didn't adore. Even though I'd not read book 1 of this series.
Aaaaand now I need to go get book 1.
The kind of problems I like to have.
Yeeish. I'd rather they be stupid than their love be hopeless.
Dumping the man he'd been in love with since he was 15 because he realized they were breaking each other broke ME(like sure, y'all have your issues but why do I have to hurt because of it?)
Marcus calling Seb's sister and handing her a laundry list of things she needs to do to ensure Seb is okay after Seb dumped him broke me.
I wanted to just reach into the scene and fix it for them so they could just be together.
Marcus is so unintentionally romantic, I swear. Would bet everything and everyone he knows on the fact that he's incapable of love but...
'And my promise to Seb is worth more than my life.'
Never once broke it too, mind you. Even when the reason for their breakup was no longer a factor.
Gah.
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.......THIS HAS A REALLY SWEET GRAND GESTURE AND LET ME TELL YOU, I'M A SUCKERRRR FOR THOSE.
Seb too, if what happened after is any indication💀
FYI, this is a sibling's best friend romance, and I love that this aspect of it, while well explored, wasn't anywhere close to the main conflict in their relationship.
4.5 rounded down because the epilogue was a bit of a drag though. Too fluffy for me.
Got a review copy of this via GRR because I never met a Jax Calder book I didn't adore. Even though I'd not read book 1 of this series.
Aaaaand now I need to go get book 1.
The kind of problems I like to have.
Did not finish
January 12, 2025As always, YMMV. This is my opinion of a prominent side character, so if you don't want to be influenced by my personal reactions, skip this.
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*
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I wanted the story to be about the two MC's, but Seb's bitchy "perfect" sister Saskia is a driving force in the story. She seems to be there solely as a reason the two protagonists have to do everything on the downlow. It feels like a copout to me.
While it's mostly well-written, at least the main two characters are, Saskia is not only an objectively awful person, she's a poorly written one. She's less a character than a caricature. She has zero depth and feels like she's been plucked off a shelf. The parent's too, with their over-the-top indulgence of her and somewhat benign disinterest in Seb. I'm about 30% in and giving up.I don't mind the angst surrounding Marcus or the romance, and I think this could have been written without resorting once again to the bitchy female character. I could do it if Saskia was either not in it or if she was written with a little nuance. And, no, a small redemption towards the end of the book (I read some reviews) won't make up for having her throughout the rest of the story.
Lastly I'm over bitchy women in m/m romances-sisters/best friends/moms, etc. Plus I've read several books recently with gay protagonists having lifelone female besties, and it's a little cliched at this point.
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*
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I wanted the story to be about the two MC's, but Seb's bitchy "perfect" sister Saskia is a driving force in the story. She seems to be there solely as a reason the two protagonists have to do everything on the downlow. It feels like a copout to me.
While it's mostly well-written, at least the main two characters are, Saskia is not only an objectively awful person, she's a poorly written one. She's less a character than a caricature. She has zero depth and feels like she's been plucked off a shelf. The parent's too, with their over-the-top indulgence of her and somewhat benign disinterest in Seb. I'm about 30% in and giving up.I don't mind the angst surrounding Marcus or the romance, and I think this could have been written without resorting once again to the bitchy female character. I could do it if Saskia was either not in it or if she was written with a little nuance. And, no, a small redemption towards the end of the book (I read some reviews) won't make up for having her throughout the rest of the story.
Lastly I'm over bitchy women in m/m romances-sisters/best friends/moms, etc. Plus I've read several books recently with gay protagonists having lifelone female besties, and it's a little cliched at this point.
January 8, 2025
This was more than just a friends with benefits story. It was a story of finding one's true self.
Marcus has always been portraying personalities that are acceptable or rather what people expect from a good looking guy like him. He can easily pull out smiles when needed, flirt when required and pose when acceptable. No one really gets to know the real him... until Seb, his best friend's brother.
Seb is kinda awkward and is really intelligent aka a nerd. He has had a fat crush on Marcus for years but when he finally gets a taste of the out-of-reach Marcus, he can't seem to stop craving more. That is until Marcus decides to leave his life behind and start a new one. Seb is not only forced to move on (not really) but to also grow a pair.
Funny enough, after years apart these two still burn for each other and that was beautiful.
There was a lot of sexual tension between these two to the point where you, as the reader, feel like an intruder. I expected Seb to be shy all the way but boy proved me wrong and I loved it. Seb knew how to take as much as he gives and is super charming in his own biologist way. He is passionate when it comes to his career and love life and its amazing to see how real he is in comparison to Marcus.
Marcus needed Seb in his life through and through. I loved how he was only able to be honest with himself and Seb whenever he is around the iconic t-shirt wearing Seb. There were moments where I was like 'what the heck are you doing' when Marcus would make certain decisions but as I got to know and understand him and his situation i understood why he did things a certain way. Dude is afraid of hurting or rather destroying the one good and real thing in his fake life.
I actually did not like the sister at all during this book. I tried to see things from her point of view but she was just someone I didn't like. She must always be the center of attention at home and the way she treats Seb, although it was highlighted as bug sister behavior, was just not it for me.
Overall, this was an excellent read. There was tension, awkward moments, high heat, cute animals, animal facts, geeks geeking around, popular kids moments and a lot more.
Marcus has always been portraying personalities that are acceptable or rather what people expect from a good looking guy like him. He can easily pull out smiles when needed, flirt when required and pose when acceptable. No one really gets to know the real him... until Seb, his best friend's brother.
Seb is kinda awkward and is really intelligent aka a nerd. He has had a fat crush on Marcus for years but when he finally gets a taste of the out-of-reach Marcus, he can't seem to stop craving more. That is until Marcus decides to leave his life behind and start a new one. Seb is not only forced to move on (not really) but to also grow a pair.
Funny enough, after years apart these two still burn for each other and that was beautiful.
There was a lot of sexual tension between these two to the point where you, as the reader, feel like an intruder. I expected Seb to be shy all the way but boy proved me wrong and I loved it. Seb knew how to take as much as he gives and is super charming in his own biologist way. He is passionate when it comes to his career and love life and its amazing to see how real he is in comparison to Marcus.
Marcus needed Seb in his life through and through. I loved how he was only able to be honest with himself and Seb whenever he is around the iconic t-shirt wearing Seb. There were moments where I was like 'what the heck are you doing' when Marcus would make certain decisions but as I got to know and understand him and his situation i understood why he did things a certain way. Dude is afraid of hurting or rather destroying the one good and real thing in his fake life.
I actually did not like the sister at all during this book. I tried to see things from her point of view but she was just someone I didn't like. She must always be the center of attention at home and the way she treats Seb, although it was highlighted as bug sister behavior, was just not it for me.
Overall, this was an excellent read. There was tension, awkward moments, high heat, cute animals, animal facts, geeks geeking around, popular kids moments and a lot more.
February 9, 2025
B+ / 4.5 stars
The second book in Jax Calder’s Rainbow Redemption series, Reckless Hearts is an angsty, deeply emotional romance that spans almost a decade. While this is the second book in the series, it can be read as a standalone; Tim, Jamie, and a couple of characters from Beautiful Hearts make cameo appearances but while it’s definitely worth reading their story, it’s not absolutely essential to do so before reading this one.
Seb Kleggs has had a crush on his sister Saskia’s best friend Marcus Johnson since the first time he laid eyes on him at the age of fifteen and promptly emptied a box of breakfast cereal all over himself. Marcus is gorgeous – handsome, charming, funny and with the type of voice that would inspire a nun to drop her underwear – and Seb quickly resigned himself to hopeless yearning from afar because there’s no way someone like Marcus would look twice at a gawky nerd like him.
Marcus and Saskia met at university and are the archetypal cool kids everyone wants to impress. Marcus is very well aware of the way people react to him and likes the way it makes him feel, but there’s a damaged psyche behind the handsome face. He knows he’s merely playing a part, the part of Marcus-the-outrageous-flirt-and-charmer that everyone expects of him – and that behind the façade, he’s an empty shell.
A few years later, when Marcus and Saskia are in their final year of university and Seb is in his first, Marcus propositions Seb when they’re at a party. There’s no way Seb is going to turn him down, even though they both know Saskia will be pissed off if she ever finds out they’ve hooked up. But that isn’t going to be a problem; neither of them is going to tell her, and besides, it’s only going to be a one-time thing, right?
Wrong. Marcus doesn’t do repeats, but there’s something about Seb - he’s so comfortably himself, so real - that makes Marcus feel something other than hollowed-out and fake for the first time in a very long time. Somehow, that one hook-up leads to two, and then to more; Marcus can’t explain it, but Seb has captivated him and he just can’t get enough of him. It’s not only the sex – which is fantastic – it’s Seb, his kindness, his complete lack of artifice, his enthusiasm for the things he’s interested in and his ability to draw Marcus out of whatever dark places his mind goes to.
Over the weeks and months that follow, Marcus and Seb continue to see each other in secret, and their relationship develops beyond ‘just sex’ into spending time together and hanging out. Seb, who is studying zoology, takes Marcus to visit the wildlife conservation project he’s passionate about, and Marcus is drawn in even more by Seb’s intensity and dedication - and just a bit jealous because Seb has clearly found his purpose in life, while Marcus remains directionless. But the connection he feels with Seb is like nothing he’s felt before; being with him is so easy and he can be more himself with him than he is with anyone. Marcus has never wanted a serious relationship – he thinks he’s a bad bet owing to traumatic events in his past - but Seb makes him think it might be worth trying. And Seb can’t quite believe his luck, that he’s actually dating the man of his dreams – who not only endures his nerdgasms about random scientific facts but seems to actually enjoy them! – and loves that he gets to see a quieter and more thoughtful side of Marcus that he doesn’t show to anyone else.
But separation is looming. Marcus and Saskia have long-standing plans to visit the US for a couple of months that summer, and neither Marcus nor Seb is greatly looking forward to being apart, even though it’s only for a few weeks. But Saskia returns home alone, explaining that Marcus was “spotted” by a talent scout for a modelling agency in LA, and that he’s going to stay on for a few weeks to see what happens. Seb is quietly heartbroken.
Seven years pass.
The story picks up at Saskia’s wedding, which will be the first time Seb and Marcus have had any contact with each other since Marcus decided not to return to New Zealand. In the intervening years, he has progressed from modelling to films and has become a bona fide movie star, and Seb has earned his PhD and is now doing postdoctural research on fairy terns, an endangered species, in Auckland.They know they’re bound to see one another, but they aren’t quite prepared for the speed with which their attraction and emotional connection come roaring back to life. It’s not long before they’re falling into bed together again, but Marcus’ life is in LA or wherever in the world he’s filming, and Seb’s is firmly in Auckland. Their lives have gone in completely different directions and even though they agree to try the long distance thing, it becomes harder and harder for both of them the longer it goes on. There’s no doubt these two love each other deeply – the author does a great job, right from the very start, of showing that they belong together – but the demands of Marcus’ career alongside the very serious demons he’s struggling to keep at bay soon begin to take a toll on his physical and mental health and on his relationship with Seb. The crunch comes when they have to figure out if there’s ever going to be a way they can both get what they want and need from each other - or if they’re going to just keep marking time and end up destroying each other in the process. Kudos to Ms. Calder for not taking an easy way out here; third-act break-ups are commonplace in romance novels, but rarely do they happen for the right reasons. That this one does makes it all the more devastating.
Reckless Hearts is angsty, passionate, and filled with raw emotion. The development of the romance between Seb and Marcus is extremely well done – they’re very different in many ways, yet they just click; their chemistry is electric and they have a deep understanding of each other – the good and the bad – on a visceral level in a way no-one else has ever had. Marcus’ issues – his feelings of inadequacy and his need to prove his worth – are heartbreaking to read, as is Seb watching him struggle while feeling powerless to help him.
I enjoyed the book a great deal, but it doesn’t quite make the grade as a DIK for a handful of reasons. The seven-year-gap with no contact whatsoever is a bit hard to credit, and the prose is sometimes a little repetitive and overwrought. And as I said at the outset, the best-friend’s-little-sibling-is-off-limits trope isn’t one I enjoy. Thankfully, it’s not the main cause of the conflict in the story, but Saskia is, for most of the book, simply awful, and I really could have done with seeing less of her. She’s the spoiled favourite child and Seb has always lived in her shadow; she’s not evil, she’s just used to being the centre of attention and getting her own way, and Seb and Marcus spend way too much time thinking about her feelings rather than their own. She does, at least, step up to support Seb at a key moment later in the story.
The characterisation of the two leads is excellent. In the hands of a less skilful author, Marcus and his issues could easily have overshadowed Seb and his ‘normal-ness’, but Seb is just as complex and well-developed as Marcus is. Marcus has lived with so much guilt and pain for so long that he’s locked his emotions down tight – until Seb starts to slowly worm his way through his walls, and finds a way to give him a sense of balance and rightness. Seb’s personal growth is expertly depicted; we see that he’s grown into himself and gained confidence to go for what he wants – enough confidence to be able to tell when he’s selling himself short, and the strength of will to do what needs to be done, no matter the cost to him personally.
Reckless Hearts is an emotional rollercoaster of a read, rife with guilt, self-worth issues and fear of failure in the lows, and full of warmth, wit and gorgeously heartfelt romance in the highs. If you’re in the market for a romance that will tug at the heartstrings and deliver a hard-won HEA, you need look no further.
The second book in Jax Calder’s Rainbow Redemption series, Reckless Hearts is an angsty, deeply emotional romance that spans almost a decade. While this is the second book in the series, it can be read as a standalone; Tim, Jamie, and a couple of characters from Beautiful Hearts make cameo appearances but while it’s definitely worth reading their story, it’s not absolutely essential to do so before reading this one.
Seb Kleggs has had a crush on his sister Saskia’s best friend Marcus Johnson since the first time he laid eyes on him at the age of fifteen and promptly emptied a box of breakfast cereal all over himself. Marcus is gorgeous – handsome, charming, funny and with the type of voice that would inspire a nun to drop her underwear – and Seb quickly resigned himself to hopeless yearning from afar because there’s no way someone like Marcus would look twice at a gawky nerd like him.
Marcus and Saskia met at university and are the archetypal cool kids everyone wants to impress. Marcus is very well aware of the way people react to him and likes the way it makes him feel, but there’s a damaged psyche behind the handsome face. He knows he’s merely playing a part, the part of Marcus-the-outrageous-flirt-and-charmer that everyone expects of him – and that behind the façade, he’s an empty shell.
A few years later, when Marcus and Saskia are in their final year of university and Seb is in his first, Marcus propositions Seb when they’re at a party. There’s no way Seb is going to turn him down, even though they both know Saskia will be pissed off if she ever finds out they’ve hooked up. But that isn’t going to be a problem; neither of them is going to tell her, and besides, it’s only going to be a one-time thing, right?
Wrong. Marcus doesn’t do repeats, but there’s something about Seb - he’s so comfortably himself, so real - that makes Marcus feel something other than hollowed-out and fake for the first time in a very long time. Somehow, that one hook-up leads to two, and then to more; Marcus can’t explain it, but Seb has captivated him and he just can’t get enough of him. It’s not only the sex – which is fantastic – it’s Seb, his kindness, his complete lack of artifice, his enthusiasm for the things he’s interested in and his ability to draw Marcus out of whatever dark places his mind goes to.
Over the weeks and months that follow, Marcus and Seb continue to see each other in secret, and their relationship develops beyond ‘just sex’ into spending time together and hanging out. Seb, who is studying zoology, takes Marcus to visit the wildlife conservation project he’s passionate about, and Marcus is drawn in even more by Seb’s intensity and dedication - and just a bit jealous because Seb has clearly found his purpose in life, while Marcus remains directionless. But the connection he feels with Seb is like nothing he’s felt before; being with him is so easy and he can be more himself with him than he is with anyone. Marcus has never wanted a serious relationship – he thinks he’s a bad bet owing to traumatic events in his past - but Seb makes him think it might be worth trying. And Seb can’t quite believe his luck, that he’s actually dating the man of his dreams – who not only endures his nerdgasms about random scientific facts but seems to actually enjoy them! – and loves that he gets to see a quieter and more thoughtful side of Marcus that he doesn’t show to anyone else.
But separation is looming. Marcus and Saskia have long-standing plans to visit the US for a couple of months that summer, and neither Marcus nor Seb is greatly looking forward to being apart, even though it’s only for a few weeks. But Saskia returns home alone, explaining that Marcus was “spotted” by a talent scout for a modelling agency in LA, and that he’s going to stay on for a few weeks to see what happens. Seb is quietly heartbroken.
Seven years pass.
The story picks up at Saskia’s wedding, which will be the first time Seb and Marcus have had any contact with each other since Marcus decided not to return to New Zealand. In the intervening years, he has progressed from modelling to films and has become a bona fide movie star, and Seb has earned his PhD and is now doing postdoctural research on fairy terns, an endangered species, in Auckland.They know they’re bound to see one another, but they aren’t quite prepared for the speed with which their attraction and emotional connection come roaring back to life. It’s not long before they’re falling into bed together again, but Marcus’ life is in LA or wherever in the world he’s filming, and Seb’s is firmly in Auckland. Their lives have gone in completely different directions and even though they agree to try the long distance thing, it becomes harder and harder for both of them the longer it goes on. There’s no doubt these two love each other deeply – the author does a great job, right from the very start, of showing that they belong together – but the demands of Marcus’ career alongside the very serious demons he’s struggling to keep at bay soon begin to take a toll on his physical and mental health and on his relationship with Seb. The crunch comes when they have to figure out if there’s ever going to be a way they can both get what they want and need from each other - or if they’re going to just keep marking time and end up destroying each other in the process. Kudos to Ms. Calder for not taking an easy way out here; third-act break-ups are commonplace in romance novels, but rarely do they happen for the right reasons. That this one does makes it all the more devastating.
Reckless Hearts is angsty, passionate, and filled with raw emotion. The development of the romance between Seb and Marcus is extremely well done – they’re very different in many ways, yet they just click; their chemistry is electric and they have a deep understanding of each other – the good and the bad – on a visceral level in a way no-one else has ever had. Marcus’ issues – his feelings of inadequacy and his need to prove his worth – are heartbreaking to read, as is Seb watching him struggle while feeling powerless to help him.
I enjoyed the book a great deal, but it doesn’t quite make the grade as a DIK for a handful of reasons. The seven-year-gap with no contact whatsoever is a bit hard to credit, and the prose is sometimes a little repetitive and overwrought. And as I said at the outset, the best-friend’s-little-sibling-is-off-limits trope isn’t one I enjoy. Thankfully, it’s not the main cause of the conflict in the story, but Saskia is, for most of the book, simply awful, and I really could have done with seeing less of her. She’s the spoiled favourite child and Seb has always lived in her shadow; she’s not evil, she’s just used to being the centre of attention and getting her own way, and Seb and Marcus spend way too much time thinking about her feelings rather than their own. She does, at least, step up to support Seb at a key moment later in the story.
The characterisation of the two leads is excellent. In the hands of a less skilful author, Marcus and his issues could easily have overshadowed Seb and his ‘normal-ness’, but Seb is just as complex and well-developed as Marcus is. Marcus has lived with so much guilt and pain for so long that he’s locked his emotions down tight – until Seb starts to slowly worm his way through his walls, and finds a way to give him a sense of balance and rightness. Seb’s personal growth is expertly depicted; we see that he’s grown into himself and gained confidence to go for what he wants – enough confidence to be able to tell when he’s selling himself short, and the strength of will to do what needs to be done, no matter the cost to him personally.
Reckless Hearts is an emotional rollercoaster of a read, rife with guilt, self-worth issues and fear of failure in the lows, and full of warmth, wit and gorgeously heartfelt romance in the highs. If you’re in the market for a romance that will tug at the heartstrings and deliver a hard-won HEA, you need look no further.
January 11, 2025
4.5 stars!
That one packed a punch! The first half was deceptive. It was good, fine. Kept it kinda surface-level, but also kept my attention.
Then the second half hit. And my kryptonite, relationship angst, appeared. And then my eyes leaked for almost the entire last quarter.
That one packed a punch! The first half was deceptive. It was good, fine. Kept it kinda surface-level, but also kept my attention.
Then the second half hit. And my kryptonite, relationship angst, appeared. And then my eyes leaked for almost the entire last quarter.
January 13, 2025
4.5⭐️ I guess it’s a good sign when you have to wipe away tears to write a review.
I went into this book blind because I love this author. I didn’t realize until halfway in that this would be a celebrity story. I normally steer clear of celebrity romance because I have a very jaded view of them and how fame destroys relationships. But this book is so well-crafted and brutally honest about the hardships of fame, and the author made Marcus such a lovable, down-to-earth character that I have to give it all the credit it’s due.
Marcus and Seb’s relationship is so very angsty and sad. It spans decades as they try to navigate separation, family secrets, guilt, pain, and addiction.
The HEA was such a sweet relief.
Note: this is a standalone but there’s a big spoiler in here for book 1, so if you want to read that, do it first.
I went into this book blind because I love this author. I didn’t realize until halfway in that this would be a celebrity story. I normally steer clear of celebrity romance because I have a very jaded view of them and how fame destroys relationships. But this book is so well-crafted and brutally honest about the hardships of fame, and the author made Marcus such a lovable, down-to-earth character that I have to give it all the credit it’s due.
Marcus and Seb’s relationship is so very angsty and sad. It spans decades as they try to navigate separation, family secrets, guilt, pain, and addiction.
The HEA was such a sweet relief.
Note: this is a standalone but there’s a big spoiler in here for book 1, so if you want to read that, do it first.
February 25, 2026
5⭐️
-Sisters BF
-Mental Health Rep
Oh my gosh 🥰
My heart 💔
This ripped my heart out, and slowly stitched it back together.
I was so hesitant to read this, as it had so many mixed reviews, but I’m so glad I did.
Seb has had a crush on his sister’s bf since he was 15yrs old, Marcus is the ultra cool guy that has been Saskia’s ride or die since they were teenagers.
Reckless Hearts is a story that spans years of confusion, yearning, heartbreak and love.
My heart broke for Marcus, and I’m so happy he had Seb, and they found their forever.
HEA 💙
-Sisters BF
-Mental Health Rep
Oh my gosh 🥰
My heart 💔
This ripped my heart out, and slowly stitched it back together.
I was so hesitant to read this, as it had so many mixed reviews, but I’m so glad I did.
Seb has had a crush on his sister’s bf since he was 15yrs old, Marcus is the ultra cool guy that has been Saskia’s ride or die since they were teenagers.
Reckless Hearts is a story that spans years of confusion, yearning, heartbreak and love.
My heart broke for Marcus, and I’m so happy he had Seb, and they found their forever.
HEA 💙
February 2, 2025
Solid 4 stars!
January 13, 2025
4.0 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
First read of the new year and happy to say it was an enjoyable one! I discovered Jax Calder last year and she’s quickly becoming a go-to author for me. The story follows shy, awkward, and nerdy initially 18 yr old Seb as he finds himself in a decades long on and off relationship with beautiful, charismatic 21 yr old Marcus who happens to be Saskia, Seb’s sister, best friend. I really wasn’t a fan of book one in this series, so I was unsure about this one. Especially because drawn out relationships tend to not be my thing, but I really liked this.
I’m getting into mild story details, so if you want to know nothing I’d stop reading now 😌
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⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️
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Part 1
The initial start of Seb and Marcus’s relationship was equal parts sweet and sad. I normally don’t like when sex comes in super early on, but for the purposes of the story it worked. I was sad Seb thought so little of himself in comparison to Marcus, a theme that carried on far into the story. Marcus however, I really loved as a character throughout. Although he was popular and charming, a character of his own making, he was never cruel to Seb. He never just used him and threw him away. He always showed care and consideration because he also thought so little of himself. Saskia, Seb’s sister, was vapid, conceited, and so obnoxious! I really couldn’t stand her the first half of the book. Rest assured she does come around, and wasn’t such a huge issue it derailed enjoyment.
Part 2
The reconnection years later was hot and full of yearning and I loved it. Both Seb and Marcus are still fighting against their own insecurities. Marcus feeling unworthy on an emotional level, while Seb is still consumed with the physical. Both thinking the other is too good for them to their own detriment. The secrecy of the relationship got to be a bit much. It was the part that made Seb start to bug me because it started feeling cruel to Marcus. Saskia’s reaction was expected but luckily it was not a drawn out plot point, and quite frankly she started to finally be a less selfish person at this point. Marcus’s spiral downward was brutal. The parting of ways between Seb and Marcus was heartbreaking, but necessary and I was relieved Seb finally saw himself on equal ground. Marcus though 💔 a horrific history so long masked with pain and pills and loneliness. I empathized with both of them deeply.
Part 3
A beautiful conclusion to an emotional rollercoaster. Their time apart was needed and the reconciliation was sweet. Both Seb and Marcus (and even Saskia!) came a long way and I was happy to see them finally have their relationship be all it could be. ❤️
I’m excited to see what’s up with Felix and Jared in the next installment 👀
Ps- F-CK JACK FOREVER
First read of the new year and happy to say it was an enjoyable one! I discovered Jax Calder last year and she’s quickly becoming a go-to author for me. The story follows shy, awkward, and nerdy initially 18 yr old Seb as he finds himself in a decades long on and off relationship with beautiful, charismatic 21 yr old Marcus who happens to be Saskia, Seb’s sister, best friend. I really wasn’t a fan of book one in this series, so I was unsure about this one. Especially because drawn out relationships tend to not be my thing, but I really liked this.
I’m getting into mild story details, so if you want to know nothing I’d stop reading now 😌
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⚠️
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⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️⛔️
⚠️
⚠️
⚠️
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⚠️
Part 1
The initial start of Seb and Marcus’s relationship was equal parts sweet and sad. I normally don’t like when sex comes in super early on, but for the purposes of the story it worked. I was sad Seb thought so little of himself in comparison to Marcus, a theme that carried on far into the story. Marcus however, I really loved as a character throughout. Although he was popular and charming, a character of his own making, he was never cruel to Seb. He never just used him and threw him away. He always showed care and consideration because he also thought so little of himself. Saskia, Seb’s sister, was vapid, conceited, and so obnoxious! I really couldn’t stand her the first half of the book. Rest assured she does come around, and wasn’t such a huge issue it derailed enjoyment.
Part 2
The reconnection years later was hot and full of yearning and I loved it. Both Seb and Marcus are still fighting against their own insecurities. Marcus feeling unworthy on an emotional level, while Seb is still consumed with the physical. Both thinking the other is too good for them to their own detriment. The secrecy of the relationship got to be a bit much. It was the part that made Seb start to bug me because it started feeling cruel to Marcus. Saskia’s reaction was expected but luckily it was not a drawn out plot point, and quite frankly she started to finally be a less selfish person at this point. Marcus’s spiral downward was brutal. The parting of ways between Seb and Marcus was heartbreaking, but necessary and I was relieved Seb finally saw himself on equal ground. Marcus though 💔 a horrific history so long masked with pain and pills and loneliness. I empathized with both of them deeply.
Part 3
A beautiful conclusion to an emotional rollercoaster. Their time apart was needed and the reconciliation was sweet. Both Seb and Marcus (and even Saskia!) came a long way and I was happy to see them finally have their relationship be all it could be. ❤️
I’m excited to see what’s up with Felix and Jared in the next installment 👀
Ps- F-CK JACK FOREVER
Read
January 18, 2025best friend's brother
hidden relationship
time span
drug use
past trauma
loved it gonna read the first of this series now
hidden relationship
time span
drug use
past trauma
loved it gonna read the first of this series now
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 18, 2025
Rating: 4
Steam: 3
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: contemporary romance, MM
Tropes / tags: best friend's brother, opposites attract, secret relationship
Talk about emotional rollercoaster - I ended up crying through the last 40% or so of Marcus and Seb's story. It was a raw story of reckless love, of two men completely in love but also hurting each other, of addiction and enabling, as well as self-discovery and acceptance.
I rooted so hard for Marcus and Seb from their first kiss, even through all the heartbreak and angst, even when years went past without them seeing each other. It was worth it in the end though, and I loved all of their sweet and romantic moments. It was great to see the way Marcus could be himself around Seb, and how Seb did his best to be there for him.
Reckless Hearts certainly packed an emotional punch, and it showed how sometimes love and the best intentions aren't always enough. It was heartbreaking at time, and the mental health rep and road to healing was fantastic.
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Thanks to Abbie Nicole for the opportunity to read and review this book. These are my honest thoughts and opinions.
Steam: 3
PoV: dual, 1st person
Genre: contemporary romance, MM
Tropes / tags: best friend's brother, opposites attract, secret relationship
Talk about emotional rollercoaster - I ended up crying through the last 40% or so of Marcus and Seb's story. It was a raw story of reckless love, of two men completely in love but also hurting each other, of addiction and enabling, as well as self-discovery and acceptance.
I rooted so hard for Marcus and Seb from their first kiss, even through all the heartbreak and angst, even when years went past without them seeing each other. It was worth it in the end though, and I loved all of their sweet and romantic moments. It was great to see the way Marcus could be himself around Seb, and how Seb did his best to be there for him.
Reckless Hearts certainly packed an emotional punch, and it showed how sometimes love and the best intentions aren't always enough. It was heartbreaking at time, and the mental health rep and road to healing was fantastic.
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Thanks to Abbie Nicole for the opportunity to read and review this book. These are my honest thoughts and opinions.
January 13, 2025
All the Feelings!
Wow what a fabulous book! I was riveted to Seb and Marcus's story from page one. Did it frustrate me at times? Yes. Did Seb's sister annoy me? So much. Did their time apart hurt my heart? Yes. Did it make me feel so much? Every single word. The connection between them was palpable, I could feel it in my soul. Marcus's pain, struggles, and facade made my heart ache for him. Seb clinging to what Marcus was capable to give him at the time made me wish for more for him. But through it all their love was so strong, before either one of them even realized they had fallen head over heels. The had to work for their HEA and it was glorious with such a fantastic grand gesture and amazing epilogue that made me smile from ear to ear. This author writes such wonderful books and this is no exception. Highly recommended!
Wow what a fabulous book! I was riveted to Seb and Marcus's story from page one. Did it frustrate me at times? Yes. Did Seb's sister annoy me? So much. Did their time apart hurt my heart? Yes. Did it make me feel so much? Every single word. The connection between them was palpable, I could feel it in my soul. Marcus's pain, struggles, and facade made my heart ache for him. Seb clinging to what Marcus was capable to give him at the time made me wish for more for him. But through it all their love was so strong, before either one of them even realized they had fallen head over heels. The had to work for their HEA and it was glorious with such a fantastic grand gesture and amazing epilogue that made me smile from ear to ear. This author writes such wonderful books and this is no exception. Highly recommended!
February 24, 2025
I Honestly did not expect this.
This book had me so emotional , I literally weapt during the last 15% of the book.
It was heartfelt and heartbroken and hopelessly romantic and had me fearing for the hea until the end.
This book had me so emotional , I literally weapt during the last 15% of the book.
It was heartfelt and heartbroken and hopelessly romantic and had me fearing for the hea until the end.
Read
January 9, 2025Not going to rate until I take time to reflect on this book without my distaste for Marcus skewing my opinion.
I can see why a lot of people would love this book though. I just don’t think I was able to appreciate it without being clouded by frustration. The writing was great as always with this author though!
SPOILERS.
Honestly all I keep thinking is how Seb deserved so much better in every year and step along the way. He was a doormat for Marcus snapping his fingers. I wish Seb had shown more restraint and backbone instead of simping and jumping right back into things with Marcus every time after Marcus ghosting him for SEVEN years and Marcus has the audacity to say they were in a relationship all those years ago?! Yea that wouldn’t endear me to him, only despise him more for pulling a Houdini. Color me shocked when at nearly the end of the book and Seb finally cuts him off? Oh but just wait for Marcus to snap those fingers again!
I get that this is all the point of this book/theme. Toxic relationships overcoming all odds etc… but I just didn’t like Marcus and was disappointed in Seb jumping back into bed with him every time. Bc that’s the basis for their relationship… a LOT of sex. And Seb being smart and kind and amazing to him.
“What would my life look like if Marcus hadn’t hit on me at Saskia’s party? I’m sure that, by now, I would be in a relationship with someone. I’d have a normal life with lazy Sunday mornings and shared grocery shopping. We’d have inside jokes about how I always forget to buy milk or how he can never remember which bin goes out on which day. Maybe we’d even have a dog or be thinking about starting a family. Our biggest drama would be deciding whose parents to visit for Christmas. It would be steady, reliable, and maybe a little boring—but it would be real, tangible, everyday love. Not this whirlwind roller coaster of passion and absence that leaves me breathless and aching. Is it possible that Marcus can simultaneously be the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me?”
^ exactly.
I’ll prob revise this once I’m less annoyed. I just wanted to root for them but instead I was rooting for Seb to find a healthy relationship that made him realize he was so dick-whipped by his toxic teenage crush that he had mistaken great sex for love.
I can see why a lot of people would love this book though. I just don’t think I was able to appreciate it without being clouded by frustration. The writing was great as always with this author though!
SPOILERS.
Honestly all I keep thinking is how Seb deserved so much better in every year and step along the way. He was a doormat for Marcus snapping his fingers. I wish Seb had shown more restraint and backbone instead of simping and jumping right back into things with Marcus every time after Marcus ghosting him for SEVEN years and Marcus has the audacity to say they were in a relationship all those years ago?! Yea that wouldn’t endear me to him, only despise him more for pulling a Houdini. Color me shocked when at nearly the end of the book and Seb finally cuts him off? Oh but just wait for Marcus to snap those fingers again!
I get that this is all the point of this book/theme. Toxic relationships overcoming all odds etc… but I just didn’t like Marcus and was disappointed in Seb jumping back into bed with him every time. Bc that’s the basis for their relationship… a LOT of sex. And Seb being smart and kind and amazing to him.
“What would my life look like if Marcus hadn’t hit on me at Saskia’s party? I’m sure that, by now, I would be in a relationship with someone. I’d have a normal life with lazy Sunday mornings and shared grocery shopping. We’d have inside jokes about how I always forget to buy milk or how he can never remember which bin goes out on which day. Maybe we’d even have a dog or be thinking about starting a family. Our biggest drama would be deciding whose parents to visit for Christmas. It would be steady, reliable, and maybe a little boring—but it would be real, tangible, everyday love. Not this whirlwind roller coaster of passion and absence that leaves me breathless and aching. Is it possible that Marcus can simultaneously be the best and the worst thing to ever happen to me?”
^ exactly.
I’ll prob revise this once I’m less annoyed. I just wanted to root for them but instead I was rooting for Seb to find a healthy relationship that made him realize he was so dick-whipped by his toxic teenage crush that he had mistaken great sex for love.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 10, 2026
Reread March 2026 : still such a beautiful book ♥️ I love Jax Calder's books so much !
Original review Jan 2025:
4.5 ⭐
I clearly have a thing for love stories that happen over many years.
I was not a big fan of the first part with Marcus hitting on Seb without wanting him. It bothered me that it meant nothing to him but a lot to Seb. And then it was like only a sexual relationship between them. But at some point it became much more and I started to like the book a lot.
I felt their pain, the long distance problems, the darkness in Marcus... Everything.
I was moved by their story and their struggles.
It's one of the couples I'll remember for a long time. They went on a roller coaster ride and I was there with them.
Spoilers:
I see some readers had problems with the sister, but not me. I understand why Seb kept her a secret. She wasn't that bad either.
Seb made the right decision in London. The separation was obviously necessary. It was the first time I expected and even wanted the MC to break up.
They were made for each other. The fact that they couldn't be with anyone else when they were apart was so sweet. I liked Marcus a lot and the pill part made me sad.
The epilogue was maybe too much though. And the solution they found for their separation could have been used earlier, but I was there with my stupid smile, reading every word and so happy for them.
End of spoilers.
I like how Jax Calder often includes scientific facts in her books. She really is one of my favorite authors.
Not everyone will like this book, but it did for me and I'm glad I read Marcus and Seb's story. I know I'll read it again in the future.
Original review Jan 2025:
4.5 ⭐
I clearly have a thing for love stories that happen over many years.
I was not a big fan of the first part with Marcus hitting on Seb without wanting him. It bothered me that it meant nothing to him but a lot to Seb. And then it was like only a sexual relationship between them. But at some point it became much more and I started to like the book a lot.
I felt their pain, the long distance problems, the darkness in Marcus... Everything.
I was moved by their story and their struggles.
It's one of the couples I'll remember for a long time. They went on a roller coaster ride and I was there with them.
Spoilers:
I see some readers had problems with the sister, but not me. I understand why Seb kept her a secret. She wasn't that bad either.
Seb made the right decision in London. The separation was obviously necessary. It was the first time I expected and even wanted the MC to break up.
They were made for each other. The fact that they couldn't be with anyone else when they were apart was so sweet. I liked Marcus a lot and the pill part made me sad.
The epilogue was maybe too much though. And the solution they found for their separation could have been used earlier, but I was there with my stupid smile, reading every word and so happy for them.
End of spoilers.
I like how Jax Calder often includes scientific facts in her books. She really is one of my favorite authors.
Not everyone will like this book, but it did for me and I'm glad I read Marcus and Seb's story. I know I'll read it again in the future.
January 11, 2025
4.5 stars
February 19, 2025
Cynical me would have hated this book. Cynical me was silenced while I read this.
Therefore, 4 stars, for this story which kept me glued to my seat.
Therefore, 4 stars, for this story which kept me glued to my seat.
January 10, 2025
The main couple hooks up very quickly so I figured this would just be another book entirely about hiding their relationship from the sister/best friend. Which is fine, I like those too. But this had much more than that and I enjoyed it. The characters are fighting their own unexpected demons and the conflicts work in an authentic way that keeps you wanting to see how the story ends.
December 31, 2024
Absolutely, stunningly gorgeous and moving. The writing is fantastic, and the story stirred up so many emotions that I was absolutely sobbing by the end. This story is so heartfelt, well written, and emotional with three dimensional, flawed, human characters. The story drew me in and I absolutely devoured this book. Highly recommend this beautiful book.
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