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Always Ask a Man: The Key to Femininity
Vintage book about what it takes to be a woman, with insights from famous men.
- GenresNonfiction
First published January 1, 1965
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About the author
Arlene Dahl
18 books was an American actress and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer star, who achieved notability during the 1950s. She had three children, the eldest of whom is actor Lorenzo Lamas.
She was one of the last surviving stars from the Classical Hollywood cinema era.
Later in life she became a business woman & also wrote a syndicated beauty column,
She died in her Manhattan apartment on November 29, 2021, at the age of 96.
written with material from Wikipedia
She was one of the last surviving stars from the Classical Hollywood cinema era.
Later in life she became a business woman & also wrote a syndicated beauty column,
She died in her Manhattan apartment on November 29, 2021, at the age of 96.
written with material from Wikipedia
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
May 2, 2011
How do you rate a book that you don't agree with, but had a lot of fun reading? You go right down the middle.
I am sure, when published, this book was quite popular and followed, but the ideas presented are so dated! Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Shampoo your hair when your husband isn't around--and plan to stay in the house and out of public eye until your hair has been set and brushed out. Hair should be set in private to look pretty in public."
(Um, I would be a liar if I said I never went out of the house with wet hair. And, my poor poor husband who has to see my wet head. Oh shame! haha)
"Chic is: 1) An evening dress with long sleeves 2) A gay dinner hat 3) A trademark too ingenious to be corny 4) Perfumed fans 5) The absence of a summer tan 5) Taupe. Chic is NOT: 1)Diamonds at breakfast 2)White shoes during the day 3)Being seen in curlers 4)Sleeveless dresses on overweight women."
(Dear Ms Dahl... what if my sleeveless dress is taupe and I carry a perfumed fan? Just wondering. Sincerely, not very Chic)
Other things I "learned" from this book. The Sofia Loren 7 day diet. Don't leave your make-up/curlers/curling iron out (so your hubby doesn't see them!) Be in full make-up and matching house dress before your husband wakes up and sees you natural! Shock! How to use a fan effectively (What the heck? Really there is a secret fan language?)
Overall, I enjoyed the book for what it was. A book that was written in a different time.
PS: I did a little research on the author. Turns out she was married 5 times. So, she is a walking billboard for her book. It MUST work... wait... And for you fans of old old movies, she was in the original "Journey to the Center of the Earth".
I am sure, when published, this book was quite popular and followed, but the ideas presented are so dated! Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
"Shampoo your hair when your husband isn't around--and plan to stay in the house and out of public eye until your hair has been set and brushed out. Hair should be set in private to look pretty in public."
(Um, I would be a liar if I said I never went out of the house with wet hair. And, my poor poor husband who has to see my wet head. Oh shame! haha)
"Chic is: 1) An evening dress with long sleeves 2) A gay dinner hat 3) A trademark too ingenious to be corny 4) Perfumed fans 5) The absence of a summer tan 5) Taupe. Chic is NOT: 1)Diamonds at breakfast 2)White shoes during the day 3)Being seen in curlers 4)Sleeveless dresses on overweight women."
(Dear Ms Dahl... what if my sleeveless dress is taupe and I carry a perfumed fan? Just wondering. Sincerely, not very Chic)
Other things I "learned" from this book. The Sofia Loren 7 day diet. Don't leave your make-up/curlers/curling iron out (so your hubby doesn't see them!) Be in full make-up and matching house dress before your husband wakes up and sees you natural! Shock! How to use a fan effectively (What the heck? Really there is a secret fan language?)
Overall, I enjoyed the book for what it was. A book that was written in a different time.
PS: I did a little research on the author. Turns out she was married 5 times. So, she is a walking billboard for her book. It MUST work... wait... And for you fans of old old movies, she was in the original "Journey to the Center of the Earth".
November 7, 2019
This book and every copy of it should be used as either fire starter or toilet paper.
January 28, 2008
"One must distinguish between naïve and deliberate Camp. Pure Camp is always naive. Camp which knows itself to be Camp ("camping") is usually less satisfying... The pure examples of Camp are unintentional; they are dead serious." -Sontag, 1964.
August 10, 2021
I am giving this book 4 out of 5 stars but I want to clear why.
Many of the reviews here say this is camp or hilarious.
Many of the reviews here will say this is terrible advice.
In a sense, both statements are correct and both statements are wrong.
In the present day (2021), one needs to look at this book not as the best advice book, but as a snapshot into the nature of American culture in 1965. This is before the feminist movement of the 1970s and the mindset of many adult women back then is very "traditional" - traditional in the sense of what MGTOWs would love. Even many feminist men such as myself appreciate some of the advice that Dahl would give although, frankly, I was a bit shocked but also taken back to those times and felt a bit of warmth remember what the world of my very young youth was like... Again, though, I personally am a feminist, but I am 58 and grew-up during these times when women were just like Arlene Dahl in 1965, but also through the feminism that was coming even then.
When it becomes available, I'd recommend Arlene Dahl's interview with Lucille Ball on Lucy's 10-minute radio show "Let's Talk To Lucy" which aired on CBS in 1964-1965. Dahl discusses with Lucy her book, but you can hear how both women are fully a product of those times. But, also - especially in Lucy's case - you could sense that feminism was coming - that the transition from "Traditional woman/wife/mother" to modern woman was happening.
So, consider Lucy's show and interview with Dahl to be a timecapsule of an era before modern feminism took hold. Then you can give yourself a better perspective on reading this book - especially if you were born in the 1970s or later.
Many of the reviews here say this is camp or hilarious.
Many of the reviews here will say this is terrible advice.
In a sense, both statements are correct and both statements are wrong.
In the present day (2021), one needs to look at this book not as the best advice book, but as a snapshot into the nature of American culture in 1965. This is before the feminist movement of the 1970s and the mindset of many adult women back then is very "traditional" - traditional in the sense of what MGTOWs would love. Even many feminist men such as myself appreciate some of the advice that Dahl would give although, frankly, I was a bit shocked but also taken back to those times and felt a bit of warmth remember what the world of my very young youth was like... Again, though, I personally am a feminist, but I am 58 and grew-up during these times when women were just like Arlene Dahl in 1965, but also through the feminism that was coming even then.
When it becomes available, I'd recommend Arlene Dahl's interview with Lucille Ball on Lucy's 10-minute radio show "Let's Talk To Lucy" which aired on CBS in 1964-1965. Dahl discusses with Lucy her book, but you can hear how both women are fully a product of those times. But, also - especially in Lucy's case - you could sense that feminism was coming - that the transition from "Traditional woman/wife/mother" to modern woman was happening.
So, consider Lucy's show and interview with Dahl to be a timecapsule of an era before modern feminism took hold. Then you can give yourself a better perspective on reading this book - especially if you were born in the 1970s or later.
July 16, 2014
I love it in the same way I love the show Mad Men. I can't endorse it, but it's fascinating to think of a time when women and men both bought into these ideas.
September 16, 2021
Many in this generation seem to think that a woman who cares about her appearance is empty-headed and/or superficial. This is a good reminded that a woman can care about her appearance and still be highly educated, intelligent and successful.
April 26, 2020
If you are able to read it properly, you can learn a lot. I love her tone! Read again, learn, apply. Giving to my girl.
March 30, 2022
Funny old take on femininity. Apparently I need to learn the lost language of using a hand held fan to communicate!
September 22, 2013
Hilarious! The whole thing was great - from the opening line through to the quizzes about whether you are operating with the right hair color. (Maybe you'd be true to yourself as a brownette?). I shudder to think what Arlene Dahl thinks of current exercise trends (like crossfit), and if in 1965 she could write "This the era of instant coffee, instant soup, and instant sex" so much more so now.
I only wish I had run across this book in college so that I could have organized a night to read aloud more amazing quotes with the girls on my floor.
I only wish I had run across this book in college so that I could have organized a night to read aloud more amazing quotes with the girls on my floor.
October 15, 2007
This book was hilarious (although I doubt that is what Ms. Dahl intended).
May 14, 2020
this is a pretty amusing read as long as you dont take it seriously. although realizing suddenly while youre reading it that someone, somewhere, at some time has taken it seriously is a real bummer.
March 3, 2018
What I love about these books is I don't feel it puts down women but worse it shows that with a few tricks men can be manipulated or doopped into falling in love.
August 5, 2016
Great points about being a woman. Be a good listener, have a style of your own, be interested in other people, cultivate common sense, have a sense of humor. Variety is the spice of life.
March 16, 2010
arlene dahl has the best, most outdated advice
Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews