Jesus, Mary and Josephine this was SPECTACULARLY terrible! Maybe a 1 star in book quality, but a 5 star in paraliterature. If this had been a 90's movie parodying hockey romances it would have been a blockbuster. Where do I even begin? The cliche' angry hockey player with a chip on his shoulder, the clueless spoiled "hockey heiress", The playboy arraigned marriage fiance', The "No-nonsense" coach who is full of tough love and melodramatic speeches, the bitchy best friend, Machiavellian relatives, I mean the gang is really all here. I don't know who was worse, the sheltered heroine who had an IQ that rivaled Tiger Wood's golf score or the angry son of a disgraced hockey player who has a vendetta that makes less than zero sense. What was his plan even? We may never know, it changed suddenly and inexplicably on a dime. He starts off wanting to boink the heroine and videotape it to get revenge and yet repeatedly says he "never meant to touch her or have sex with her" what was the plan then bro? Were you hoping to telekinetically ravage her on video tape or what? You spend the whole book trying to prove you're not like your disgraced father who was sent back to the minors for recreational indiscretions by...now get this brilliance...filming a sex tape of you with the future owner of the team you're going to play for. 🤔 Let's hope you're not on the planning team for climate control. Now the heroine, oh sweetheart, who let you out of your barbie dream house? Her and bitchy bestie(BB for short) go to a party, BB tells her all about this hockey ho draft and that she should NOT get involved, then BB goes away and leaves her to her own devices. So what does the h do? Willing let's the most untrustworthy person in the room blindfold her to help her "escape". I truly wonder what she thought the blindfold was for. Now the H is the one who arranged for the heroine to be "drafted" by said shady dude, who immediately tells her he won't draft her without her consent and turns her over to the H who "saves" her, but doesn't reveal who he is! What in the huh? What was even the purpose of the draft? Why go through all that? Who knows, we'll add that to the "Shit that makes less sense than a tampon in an asshole" list. Anyways, so he blind folds her and instead of just fucking her, taping it and getting it over with, he fingers her and sets a clandestine meeting to actually have sex in a week. Meanwhile, the h who is completely inexperienced agrees to this because....well, that's another thing for the list. So a week goes by, broody H broods, naive h naives...trust me, I've earned the right to make up a word after reading this book. I think there's some library encounter in there where H uses his tie to blindfold h. The h notices his tie is missing later on and then immediately wonders who her "The Stranger" could be 🤦🏼♀️Saturday meet up happens, she lets him blindfold her, strip her naked and tie her up while knowing that she's under extreme scrutiny and in danger of losing her inheritance, which just so happens to be the hockey team that drafted the H. The H decides instead of having sex with her, he's going to fuck her with a knife, tell her how much he hates her, calls her a spoiled princess, says she deserves to be ruined all while video taping it and h is all like "oh baby, give me that d!" and H runs out in turmoil about his feelings because knife+pussy= true love apparently? Add it to the list! On the way back to the dorms, a random strange guy tries to attack the h and then she hears "The Stranger's" voice coming to save her! But oh, his voice isn't low and poorly disguised like her stranger, it CAN'T be him. It's Levi! The dude she had one random argument in class with! Why is he protecting her? What a guy! Also, has anyone seen his tie? Damn, wish "The Stranger" would leave more clues as to who he is, confound it! Anyhow, during all this, nefarious Uncle chides the h for breaking her arranged marriage and says she better fix it or else and h is all "Oh my! I didn't realize breaking the long standing tradition of arraigned hockey marriage (because that is super common) that I'm told I absolutely must follow through with would ruffle so many feathers! Maybe I should rethink this!" Across campus, H's nefarious mother comes to shake him down for money while calling him a disappointment and comparing him to his father. Egads! Anything but that! H is emotionally distraught by this very common occurrence, blames the h and decides "The only way to ruin her is to have sex with her!" he runs to her dorm room, knocks on the door, she miraculously does not come to the door or check out the peephole like a normal person and instead calls out "Who is it?" like she's red riding hoods grandma so he's able to ask her to blindfold herself and he strolls in with complete confidence that she will blindfold herself. After he told her he hates her and wants to ruin her. And little miss rocket scientist actually does it. God, I really hope her ovaries are as incapable of reproduction as her brain cells are. He storms in, demands she strip, starts video taping her and tells her he's going to take her virginity and she's all "Yes, climb me like a jungle gym, you mysterious vengeful stranger you!" So they start playing "hide the sausage" (FINALLY AFTER 80%!) and it is a transcendent experience, the H finds himself falling more and more into hate with her! He's determined to ruin her life forever! As the ultimate "fuck you" he decides to reveal his identity right before she cums, but the magic of "ethereal eyes" breaks the spell of hate and suddenly he realizes, he doesn't hate her! He loves her! But now the h sees who he is and is COMPLETELY shocked and hurt and betrayed...by the only guy on the hockey team who has been actively antagonistic to her and is still missing that tie, goddammit! This list is getting really long. She kicks him out and decides she should definitely go back to arranged marriage playboy to protect herself. The H goes back to his dorm room and finds gold-digging momma is there and is all "You didn't lock your door, it would be a shame if someone came in here and stole highly sensitive information from you! Anyways, byyyyyye" Next day, videos are everywhere! Gasp! But how! How could he do this to her, her arranged fiance says peace out, her uncle moves for her to be disinherited(I don't think it works that way) her life is ruined! I must confront him! Confrontation happens, truths are revealed, love is confessed, but h just can't forgive him! But she won't lose her hockey team that she knows nothing about gosh darn it! She is now going to fight to show them she is responsible and the right person to run this team! She goes to the board meeting and says "Well, I mean technically, I didn't even DO anything wrong, cause I don't own the team yet and he's not actually a player" and everybody is like "Yeah whatever little girl, sit down the grown-ups are talking" and she's all *squeak* okay. Then in walks the valiant H! He has proof that the video was stolen by his mother who sold it to the nefarious uncle! Her brother, who suddenly speaks for the whole council for some reason even though he's not on it, removes her uncle from the board and everything else is swept under the rug. H and h have another love confession (but no more sex)and a very confusing epilogue interview written by a 3rd party where a fight with the ex-finance that we're told happened, but never actually shown and how dare they ask him questions during this interview! He said good day sir! And so here we are, the very sudden end! I can't believe you survived this whole review! You deserve a gold star and a shot of tequila! Now you don't have to read this nightmare, unless you are in the mood for a book so bad it's almost good!