You Cannot Be Serious: and 32 Other Rules that Sustain a (Mostly) Balanced Mom

by Elizabeth Lyons

Whether she's negotiating a truce between her 10- and 5-year-old while eulogizing goldfish, swinging a sledgehammer in her garage-to-be-nursery, bribing her twins to keep their pants on in the grocery store, planning her product line, strategically placing carrot seeds in her garden, receiving life lessons from her oldest daughter, or explaining to her kids why a fellow post office patron has pierced nipples, Elizabeth Lyons has discovered that the secret to navigating the land of euphoria and hysteria is a carefully crafted set of rules -- for herself!

You Cannot Be Serious is a contemporary and humorous roadmap for "doing it all" that any woman can relate to for untying her own "nots." And for moms who lie awake at night wondering if their sanity will remain intact until the kids move out, Lyons provides a girlfriend-to-girlfriend guide, not just for getting through each day, but for being able to say with conviction, "I love my life."

Genres: Nonfiction

215 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 28, 2010

About the author

Elizabeth Lyons is many things: mom, friend, writing and publishing coach, lunch maker, chauffeur, hostage negotiator, author, on-call plumber, tile layer, guitar student, window washer, designer, and on and on.

She demands the right to do things her way -- a way that often defies even the most creative imaginations--and she strives to inspire others to do things THEIR way (once they figure out what their way is!).

Elizabeth lives in Arizona with her five kids, crazy dog, four barely surviving organic gardens and whatever (or whomever) has taken up residence with them since her latest manuscript went to print.

Reviews

[Jana · Rating 3 out of 5]

As the mother of four, I enjoyed this fast read about the chaos that was the norm in the Lyons' household. (She has five.) The aim was not always clear, though. Was this a book of rules to sustain other moms? Was this a memoir of cute things her children had done? Was this an attempt to follow in Erma Bombeck's footsteps? That said, some of their precious moments brought a smile. (Like one child hugging his dad and saying, "Happy Mother's Day, Daddy.")

[Cheryl Keane · Rating 5 out of 5]

funniest parenting book out there. LOVE!

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really funny. As the happy mother of one - I still need all of these rules.

Remember, if anyone claims to have it all together - run - immediately in the other direction!!!