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ARMY VALUES
"When we boarded the plane from Baghdad, we did not leave the enemy behind. They sat in the seats beside us.’ I have heard my brothers and sisters in arms express this sentiment which I had believed was mine alone. Hearing my feelings echoed by others re-enforced my lesson learned; the realization is that enemies come in all sizes, shapes, and uniforms, including our very own green.
I did not know that the organization I held in such high esteem, so steeped in values, would prove betrayal and hypocrisy were of the highest values. My journey shines a light on a dirty little the touted rules are neither enforced nor respected. When they are enforced, it is with selective justice.
If you had told me that I could be court-martialed for a personal liaison, I would never have believed you. I would not have been willing to believe that my beloved and sanctified Army could ever turn on me as it did. After enduring a year in Iraq, under an oppressive, toxic command, for me, little mystery remained behind the green curtain.
We are led to believe our military is comprised of the most selfless individuals – willing to put their lives on hold to serve the flag; willing to pay the ultimate price if need be. And there are many of this breed serving, without question. But there also exist those who seek only to elevate their own status and control others through fear and intimidation – and they take a devastating toll on our forces.
As a woman who entered military service at the “advanced” age of 42, my perspective on deployment and military engagement is unusual. My ideas and ideals were already deeply rooted, yet I found I not only had more to learn, but that there are many who many never learn. Many of the problems facing our military, including sexual harassment and assault, PTSD, and suicide, could be more preventable if we could eliminate the toxic environment created under some command structures.
This narrative nonfiction/memoir is the story of my experiences, beginning with the catalyst for my entry to the military and through basic and advanced training, a tour of duty in Iraq, my own court-martial after falling in love with a member of a NATO Training Mission, and finally my return home to what may never feel like home again.
I did not know that the organization I held in such high esteem, so steeped in values, would prove betrayal and hypocrisy were of the highest values. My journey shines a light on a dirty little the touted rules are neither enforced nor respected. When they are enforced, it is with selective justice.
If you had told me that I could be court-martialed for a personal liaison, I would never have believed you. I would not have been willing to believe that my beloved and sanctified Army could ever turn on me as it did. After enduring a year in Iraq, under an oppressive, toxic command, for me, little mystery remained behind the green curtain.
We are led to believe our military is comprised of the most selfless individuals – willing to put their lives on hold to serve the flag; willing to pay the ultimate price if need be. And there are many of this breed serving, without question. But there also exist those who seek only to elevate their own status and control others through fear and intimidation – and they take a devastating toll on our forces.
As a woman who entered military service at the “advanced” age of 42, my perspective on deployment and military engagement is unusual. My ideas and ideals were already deeply rooted, yet I found I not only had more to learn, but that there are many who many never learn. Many of the problems facing our military, including sexual harassment and assault, PTSD, and suicide, could be more preventable if we could eliminate the toxic environment created under some command structures.
This narrative nonfiction/memoir is the story of my experiences, beginning with the catalyst for my entry to the military and through basic and advanced training, a tour of duty in Iraq, my own court-martial after falling in love with a member of a NATO Training Mission, and finally my return home to what may never feel like home again.
208 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 2, 2014
3 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
March 2, 2014
As a veteran and senior NCO with twenty years in the military, I can attest that Messick’s story sounds all-too-familiar. What impressed me right off is at no time does she come across as wallowing in self-pity, while seeking sympathy from others. The narrative is very believable, though no names are ever given, no units listed, and in fact at no time does she even mention what state she is from. And yet, the cast will feel very familiar to anyone who has spent more than a day in the military.
What is troubling is that those most guilty of outright abusive conduct, as well as rampant hypocrisy in this story are either senior NCOs, or field-grade officers. The “frat house” behavior is not coming from college-age lower enlisted Soldiers, but by high-ranking leaders, most of who have twenty or more years in the Army; i.e. the very people who are supposed to know better. And yet what bothered me the most is that I was not in the least bit surprised. Not once did I raise an eyebrow or think, “Well that couldn’t possibly have happened”. Instead, I immediately put faces behind the characters; people I’ve known throughout my career whose very behavior is mimicked in these pages.
Interestingly enough, I first heard about this book from a brigadier general who recommended it and said that it confirmed a number of suspicions he’s had. This tells me that the climate of toxic leadership is not confined to one National Guard unit or state. Messick’s book is a quick read, and while it might make some uncomfortable, I think it is a valuable tool to help foster dialog about an important subject. Perhaps it will serve as an example to junior leaders how on to demonstrate true Army Values by their own example, rather than leading by hypocrisy and frat house rules.
What is troubling is that those most guilty of outright abusive conduct, as well as rampant hypocrisy in this story are either senior NCOs, or field-grade officers. The “frat house” behavior is not coming from college-age lower enlisted Soldiers, but by high-ranking leaders, most of who have twenty or more years in the Army; i.e. the very people who are supposed to know better. And yet what bothered me the most is that I was not in the least bit surprised. Not once did I raise an eyebrow or think, “Well that couldn’t possibly have happened”. Instead, I immediately put faces behind the characters; people I’ve known throughout my career whose very behavior is mimicked in these pages.
Interestingly enough, I first heard about this book from a brigadier general who recommended it and said that it confirmed a number of suspicions he’s had. This tells me that the climate of toxic leadership is not confined to one National Guard unit or state. Messick’s book is a quick read, and while it might make some uncomfortable, I think it is a valuable tool to help foster dialog about an important subject. Perhaps it will serve as an example to junior leaders how on to demonstrate true Army Values by their own example, rather than leading by hypocrisy and frat house rules.
February 20, 2015
Read it again!
Written by a dear friend of mine, this book (and its author) never ceases to amaze me. A memoir that reads like fiction, it will keep you rooting for Ms. Messick, and praying that justice will finally prevail. It addresses some extremely serious issues in our military, while still keeping you entertained. While self-published, her writing style is eloquent, and should be on a best seller list!
Written by a dear friend of mine, this book (and its author) never ceases to amaze me. A memoir that reads like fiction, it will keep you rooting for Ms. Messick, and praying that justice will finally prevail. It addresses some extremely serious issues in our military, while still keeping you entertained. While self-published, her writing style is eloquent, and should be on a best seller list!
May 7, 2014
This was an important book, in that it is a testimonial of one person's systematic persecution in the military. All such stories are scary to tell and deserve to be heard with respect.
My problems with this book are not problems with the author. But I would strongly recommend a professional editor be hired to rework this book. It is possible to clarify and enhance a testimonial without diminishing the personal voice or altering the content.
The emotional impact of her story would be enhanced by even basic editing. Dramatic language and pompous phrasing are used throughout, and they always reduce the perception of validity. Readers don't trust that language and (consciously or unconsciously) discount it: "Oh, she's just being dramatic," and write off the content as overreaction.
A true story, told poorly, will not be taken to heart. This story needs to be re-told with the reader in mind.
My problems with this book are not problems with the author. But I would strongly recommend a professional editor be hired to rework this book. It is possible to clarify and enhance a testimonial without diminishing the personal voice or altering the content.
The emotional impact of her story would be enhanced by even basic editing. Dramatic language and pompous phrasing are used throughout, and they always reduce the perception of validity. Readers don't trust that language and (consciously or unconsciously) discount it: "Oh, she's just being dramatic," and write off the content as overreaction.
A true story, told poorly, will not be taken to heart. This story needs to be re-told with the reader in mind.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews