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What It's Like in Words: A Novel
Eliza Moss's intoxicating debut novel is a dark, intense, and compelling account of what happens when a young woman falls in love with the wrong kind of man.
Enola is approaching 30 and everything feels like a lot. The boxes aren’t ticked and she feels adrift in a way she thought she would have beaten by now. She wants to be a writer but can't finish a first draft; she romanticizes her childhood but won’t speak to her mother; she has never been in a serious relationship but yearns to be one half of a couple that DIYs together at the weekends.
enigmatic writer. Enola falls in love and starts to dream about their perfect the wedding, the publishing deals, the house in Stoke Newington. But the reality is far from perfect. He’s distant. But she’s a Cool Girl, she doesn’t need to hear from him every day. He hangs out with his ex. But she's a Cool Girl, she’s not insecure. Is she? He has dark moods. But he’s a creative, that’s part of his ‘process’. Her best friend begs her to end it, but Enola can’t. She's a Cool Girl.
She might feel like she’s going crazy at times, but she wants him. She needs him. She would die without him...That's what love is, isn’t it? Over the next twenty-four hours (and two years), everything that Enola thinks she knows is about to unravel, and she has to think again about how she sees love, family, and friendship and—most importantly—herself.
With notes of Fleabag & I May Destroy You but with the sparseness and emotional accuracy of writers like Ali Smith and Lily King, What It's Like In Words is a close examination of what it means to experience the intense emotional uncertainty of first love.
Enola is approaching 30 and everything feels like a lot. The boxes aren’t ticked and she feels adrift in a way she thought she would have beaten by now. She wants to be a writer but can't finish a first draft; she romanticizes her childhood but won’t speak to her mother; she has never been in a serious relationship but yearns to be one half of a couple that DIYs together at the weekends.
enigmatic writer. Enola falls in love and starts to dream about their perfect the wedding, the publishing deals, the house in Stoke Newington. But the reality is far from perfect. He’s distant. But she’s a Cool Girl, she doesn’t need to hear from him every day. He hangs out with his ex. But she's a Cool Girl, she’s not insecure. Is she? He has dark moods. But he’s a creative, that’s part of his ‘process’. Her best friend begs her to end it, but Enola can’t. She's a Cool Girl.
She might feel like she’s going crazy at times, but she wants him. She needs him. She would die without him...That's what love is, isn’t it? Over the next twenty-four hours (and two years), everything that Enola thinks she knows is about to unravel, and she has to think again about how she sees love, family, and friendship and—most importantly—herself.
With notes of Fleabag & I May Destroy You but with the sparseness and emotional accuracy of writers like Ali Smith and Lily King, What It's Like In Words is a close examination of what it means to experience the intense emotional uncertainty of first love.
305 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 3, 2024
174 people are currently reading
24752 people want to read
About the author
Eliza Moss
1 book100 followersEliza Moss is the pseudonym for Sarah Moss, a London-based actor, and singer. She double majored in English and drama at the University of Manchester, gaining a first class degree in English literature, and studied method acting at the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute in New York. In 2021 she completed the Curtis Brown Creative three-month novel-writing course. What It’s Like in Words is her first novel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 550 reviews
October 1, 2025
this book made me so anxious i couldn't sleep until i'd finished it.
tbd on if that's good or bad.
this was an extremely consuming and stressful read about a woman who falls into an abusive relationship, then falls into it again, then falls into it again.
i've had my own ill-advised romantic foibles that ultimately led to my friends screaming at me to stop being such an idiot, but that didn't make reading about it any easier. or, at times, any easier to understand.
the problem with this book, for me, is that the toxic entity at the core of it was the least interesting part.
our protagonist's other relationships — with her best friend, her mom, her rebound, her writing group, her dad, her friend's family — all compelled me much more.
also, i thought we were going to get a sapphic happily ever after. so that's its own kind of heartbreak.
bottom line: the phrase "everything feels like a lot" in the synopsis is all i needed to want to read this. and it definitely felt like a lot.
(thanks to the publisher for the copy)
tbd on if that's good or bad.
this was an extremely consuming and stressful read about a woman who falls into an abusive relationship, then falls into it again, then falls into it again.
i've had my own ill-advised romantic foibles that ultimately led to my friends screaming at me to stop being such an idiot, but that didn't make reading about it any easier. or, at times, any easier to understand.
the problem with this book, for me, is that the toxic entity at the core of it was the least interesting part.
our protagonist's other relationships — with her best friend, her mom, her rebound, her writing group, her dad, her friend's family — all compelled me much more.
also, i thought we were going to get a sapphic happily ever after. so that's its own kind of heartbreak.
bottom line: the phrase "everything feels like a lot" in the synopsis is all i needed to want to read this. and it definitely felt like a lot.
(thanks to the publisher for the copy)
March 27, 2024
HOOO boy this book made me so mad I had to go lie down in a dark room.
I wish I could explain What It’s Like in Words how annoying Enola is. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever read a book with a more frustrating and yet unfortunately relatable protagonist. Step aside Ruth, I just wanna talk real quick with your friend Enola…👊👊👊 There were so many moments where I wanted Ruth (in lieu of me) to bitch slap some sense into Enola. Like unconditional love and support for your friend is good and all but have you perhaps considered Chinese water torture?
I thought the author did a fantastic job portraying the addictive, drug-like highs and withdrawals of love, which also made me mad because I’ve just recently gone through a breakup that had me feeling the exact same pathetic way as Enola did throughout the book immediately after we broke up (but the difference is that I didn’t act on it, ENOLA). Jokes aside, this was a compelling and difficult look into narcissistic abuse in a relationship and I couldn’t tear myself away from it.
One small critique - although Enola’s relationship with her father was a clear underlying theme throughout and it was pretty obvious from the start what the reveal would be, it felt like this pivotal point was rushed and glossed over. For such an important aspect of Enola’s background and her view on relationships, this “payoff” and the connections the reader was supposed to draw from it ultimately felt like an aside.
I still really enjoyed this (can you technically use the word “enjoy” for something that made you want to throw it across the room no less than 3 times while reading?) and it was really close to a 5 star read for me. I’d love to to hear more from the author in the future. Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for this ARC!
I wish I could explain What It’s Like in Words how annoying Enola is. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever read a book with a more frustrating and yet unfortunately relatable protagonist. Step aside Ruth, I just wanna talk real quick with your friend Enola…👊👊👊 There were so many moments where I wanted Ruth (in lieu of me) to bitch slap some sense into Enola. Like unconditional love and support for your friend is good and all but have you perhaps considered Chinese water torture?
I thought the author did a fantastic job portraying the addictive, drug-like highs and withdrawals of love, which also made me mad because I’ve just recently gone through a breakup that had me feeling the exact same pathetic way as Enola did throughout the book immediately after we broke up (but the difference is that I didn’t act on it, ENOLA). Jokes aside, this was a compelling and difficult look into narcissistic abuse in a relationship and I couldn’t tear myself away from it.
One small critique - although Enola’s relationship with her father was a clear underlying theme throughout and it was pretty obvious from the start what the reveal would be, it felt like this pivotal point was rushed and glossed over. For such an important aspect of Enola’s background and her view on relationships, this “payoff” and the connections the reader was supposed to draw from it ultimately felt like an aside.
I still really enjoyed this (can you technically use the word “enjoy” for something that made you want to throw it across the room no less than 3 times while reading?) and it was really close to a 5 star read for me. I’d love to to hear more from the author in the future. Thank you to the publisher, author, and NetGalley for this ARC!
April 5, 2024
What It’s Like In Words has unexpectedly become a top read of 2024 for me. Eliza Moss has written a debut novel that was, well let me just tell you…
What reading this book was like in words: heartbreaking, eye opening, triggering, important, emotional, heavy, inspiring, beautiful, gripping, incredible.
Aspiring author, Elona, attends her bimonthly writers group and meets the perfect guy. Or does she…
Over the course of two years we are in the front seat with Elona as she navigates through this relationship. We, as the reader, quickly learn that he may not be all that he is cut out to be. To put it nicely…he is a narcissistic, manipulative, gas lighting, arsehole of a human.
The problem is, it’s easier to believe the reality you want or better yet…the idea of what you want. With this, sometimes it’s also easier to miss the red flags. Even if they’re right in front of you.
When Elona was gaslit, I was gaslit. When he manipulated her, I was manipulated. When he made her feel crazy, I questioned my own sanity. But that’s also what makes me love this book. It’s heavy at times, but Eliza’s writing and sense of creating these scenes let alone characters, is incredible.
Following Elona through this and her ultimate growth, I too felt like I had grown by the time I finished this book.
What It’s Like In Words will be released December 3 and I cannot wait to grab a physical copy of this book and keep it on my bookshelf for years to come.
Congratulations on your debut novel Eliza! You have gained a new fan and I look forward to reading all your books to come!
Thank you NetGalley and Henry Holt & Company for an arc of this book. All opinions are my own.
What reading this book was like in words: heartbreaking, eye opening, triggering, important, emotional, heavy, inspiring, beautiful, gripping, incredible.
Aspiring author, Elona, attends her bimonthly writers group and meets the perfect guy. Or does she…
Over the course of two years we are in the front seat with Elona as she navigates through this relationship. We, as the reader, quickly learn that he may not be all that he is cut out to be. To put it nicely…he is a narcissistic, manipulative, gas lighting, arsehole of a human.
The problem is, it’s easier to believe the reality you want or better yet…the idea of what you want. With this, sometimes it’s also easier to miss the red flags. Even if they’re right in front of you.
When Elona was gaslit, I was gaslit. When he manipulated her, I was manipulated. When he made her feel crazy, I questioned my own sanity. But that’s also what makes me love this book. It’s heavy at times, but Eliza’s writing and sense of creating these scenes let alone characters, is incredible.
Following Elona through this and her ultimate growth, I too felt like I had grown by the time I finished this book.
What It’s Like In Words will be released December 3 and I cannot wait to grab a physical copy of this book and keep it on my bookshelf for years to come.
Congratulations on your debut novel Eliza! You have gained a new fan and I look forward to reading all your books to come!
Thank you NetGalley and Henry Holt & Company for an arc of this book. All opinions are my own.
November 19, 2024
This was a TOUGH read. If you’ve ever been in an abusive relationship of any kind, it will probably be triggering because of how spot on it is. She got the nuances of gaslighting, manipulation and the deterioration it will cause on the victims mental health to a T.
At times I couldn’t stand Enola before realizing I used to be her. The empathy for her situation didn’t make going through it with her any less infuriating. If I read a book like this when I was still in the thick of it all, I think it would’ve been incredibly eye opening and helpful.
The writing was immaculate. Raw, devastating, emotional, beautiful. I can’t wait to read literally anything Eliza Moss puts out next.
Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC!
At times I couldn’t stand Enola before realizing I used to be her. The empathy for her situation didn’t make going through it with her any less infuriating. If I read a book like this when I was still in the thick of it all, I think it would’ve been incredibly eye opening and helpful.
The writing was immaculate. Raw, devastating, emotional, beautiful. I can’t wait to read literally anything Eliza Moss puts out next.
Thank you to NetGalley for this ARC!
November 19, 2024
I need like a year to recover from this.
November 27, 2024
3.5
Oof, girl, please stop.
May hate this man more than Rory from Adelaide, IYKYK.
Oof, girl, please stop.
May hate this man more than Rory from Adelaide, IYKYK.
November 19, 2024
When 28 year-old Enola meets him at her writers group, she's immediately infatuated with the unnamed 35 year-old man sitting across from her.
What starts as intrigue becomes a full fledged relationship, if you could even call it that.
Not only is he emotionally distant at times, but her wins to him equal his loss – when her book starts gaining traction from potential publishers, he becomes annoyed, isolates, and attacks her; this is not what a healthy partnership looks like.
Despite that, Enola wants to make things work, so she accepts his crumbs and what little attention he's willing to give. She is dealing with the childhood trauma from feeling abandoned by her mother after her father passed away, and his threat of abandonment triggers her – she can't afford to lose someone else.
Enola has a great childhood friend, Ruth, who was the voice of reason through it all. I loved Ruth, she was my favourite character. She didn't force Enola to do anything or threaten leaving her too if she didn't listen, but she gave her good advice.
I'm not sure if this was an uncorrected proof edition thing, or if it was actually meant to be this way, but in the beginning when she was with this guy, there were no quotations around their interactions. At the end when she (spoiler alert) told him off, there were.
Even if that was a mistake, I liked it, because I interpreted it in a way where before she was in her own bubble with him, but after realizing who he was at his core and not wanting to stand for it anymore, he became “real” and the veil was lifted!
I also liked that he didn't have a name. Usually only the woman, or both the man and woman in these types of books are nameless. But I liked how he didn't have an identity – he wasn't even worth name dropping ✋🏻🙂↔️
What starts as intrigue becomes a full fledged relationship, if you could even call it that.
Not only is he emotionally distant at times, but her wins to him equal his loss – when her book starts gaining traction from potential publishers, he becomes annoyed, isolates, and attacks her; this is not what a healthy partnership looks like.
Despite that, Enola wants to make things work, so she accepts his crumbs and what little attention he's willing to give. She is dealing with the childhood trauma from feeling abandoned by her mother after her father passed away, and his threat of abandonment triggers her – she can't afford to lose someone else.
Enola has a great childhood friend, Ruth, who was the voice of reason through it all. I loved Ruth, she was my favourite character. She didn't force Enola to do anything or threaten leaving her too if she didn't listen, but she gave her good advice.
I'm not sure if this was an uncorrected proof edition thing, or if it was actually meant to be this way, but in the beginning when she was with this guy, there were no quotations around their interactions. At the end when she (spoiler alert) told him off, there were.
Even if that was a mistake, I liked it, because I interpreted it in a way where before she was in her own bubble with him, but after realizing who he was at his core and not wanting to stand for it anymore, he became “real” and the veil was lifted!
I also liked that he didn't have a name. Usually only the woman, or both the man and woman in these types of books are nameless. But I liked how he didn't have an identity – he wasn't even worth name dropping ✋🏻🙂↔️
December 10, 2024
3.5 stars
This was both a gripping and tough read. Enola is caught in an abusive relationship and still grappling with the trauma of a difficult childhood she’s never fully healed from. At times, she was incredibly frustrating, but her poor decisions felt believable given how manipulated she was at every turn. That said, I struggled to understand what she saw in the man in the first place.
Roo, her best friend, was easily one of the best characters. Enola is lucky to have someone so supportive in her life. While I think the book could have been a little shorter, it was powerfully written. I wouldn’t call it an enjoyable read because of the heavy subject matter, but it definitely held my interest.
This was both a gripping and tough read. Enola is caught in an abusive relationship and still grappling with the trauma of a difficult childhood she’s never fully healed from. At times, she was incredibly frustrating, but her poor decisions felt believable given how manipulated she was at every turn. That said, I struggled to understand what she saw in the man in the first place.
Roo, her best friend, was easily one of the best characters. Enola is lucky to have someone so supportive in her life. While I think the book could have been a little shorter, it was powerfully written. I wouldn’t call it an enjoyable read because of the heavy subject matter, but it definitely held my interest.
December 1, 2024
Getting gaslit in intimate relationships, coming to terms with someone you love having qualities you don't - and the possibility those qualities are their dominant ones, the many dualities of wanting another person. Written beautifully, it didn't take long for me to get through this book. & as a side note, getting what felt like a behind the scenes look at being a writer was a neat added bonus.
I don't anticipate anyone finding it hard to identify with Enola. It was nearly impossible for me to avoid a nostalgic kind of self-reflection.
Whether it's as serious as an ex spouse or as simple as an ex crush, if you really think hard enough isn't there someoneee that you find your thoughts wandering with?
Could they have actually been the one that got away? You were so happy then... You guys always had so much fun together... Why did you end things, anyway? Hm, I wonder how they're doing now... Maybe we could give it another try if I see them out somewhere, they could have changed since then...
Familiar rabbit hole? Then welcome to the club, & prepare to be aggravated.
I loovveee when I'm able to get both an advanced print AND audio copy, having both to reference and compare is ideal! So thank you bunches to Eliza Moss, Henry Holt & Company, MacMillan Audio, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read early!
Specific to the audiobook, I loved her accent! And how she narrated dialogue was flawless.
Audiobook haters, I don't think you'd be missing anything vital that's lent to the story by the audio if you do choose to read print instead.
Highly suggest for anyone who loved Liars by Sarah Manguso, My Husband by Maud Ventura or Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin. & vice versa, if you've read and enjoyed this 😋
I don't anticipate anyone finding it hard to identify with Enola. It was nearly impossible for me to avoid a nostalgic kind of self-reflection.
Whether it's as serious as an ex spouse or as simple as an ex crush, if you really think hard enough isn't there someoneee that you find your thoughts wandering with?
Could they have actually been the one that got away? You were so happy then... You guys always had so much fun together... Why did you end things, anyway? Hm, I wonder how they're doing now... Maybe we could give it another try if I see them out somewhere, they could have changed since then...
Familiar rabbit hole? Then welcome to the club, & prepare to be aggravated.
I loovveee when I'm able to get both an advanced print AND audio copy, having both to reference and compare is ideal! So thank you bunches to Eliza Moss, Henry Holt & Company, MacMillan Audio, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read early!
Specific to the audiobook, I loved her accent! And how she narrated dialogue was flawless.
Audiobook haters, I don't think you'd be missing anything vital that's lent to the story by the audio if you do choose to read print instead.
Highly suggest for anyone who loved Liars by Sarah Manguso, My Husband by Maud Ventura or Scaffolding by Lauren Elkin. & vice versa, if you've read and enjoyed this 😋
February 7, 2025
This book was engaging, but every year it gets more difficult to read books about young women in emotionally abusive relationships. Sure, Enola has her issues, but the male MC keeps chipping away at her self-esteem one critical comment or back-handed compliment at a time. Enraging.
December 28, 2024
TW/CW: Language, drinking, use of c-word, smoking, drug use, domestic abuse, toxic relationships, death of parent, death by suicide, grieving, depression, anxiety, toxic family relationships
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:
Enola is approaching 30 and everything feels like a lot. The boxes aren’t ticked and she feels adrift in a way she thought she would have beaten by now. She wants to be a writer but can't finish a first draft; she romanticizes her childhood but won’t speak to her mother; she has never been in a serious relationship but yearns to be one half of a couple that DIYs together at the weekends.
Enter: enigmatic writer. Enola falls in love and starts to dream about their perfect future: the wedding, the publishing deals, the house in Stoke Newington. But the reality is far from perfect. He’s distant. But she’s a Cool Girl, she doesn’t need to hear from him every day. He hangs out with his ex. But she's a Cool Girl, she’s not insecure. Is she? He has dark moods. But he’s a creative, that’s part of his ‘process’. Her best friend begs her to end it, but Enola can’t. She's a Cool Girl.
She might feel like she’s going crazy at times, but she wants him. She needs him. She would die without him...That's what love is, isn’t it? Over the next twenty-four hours (and two years), everything that Enola thinks she knows is about to unravel, and she has to think again about how she sees love, family, and friendship and—most importantly—herself.
Release Date: December 3rd, 2024
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Pages: 320
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
What I Liked:
1. Writing style
2. Unhinged woman vibes
3. The ending
4. All the quotes
5. Realistic view of toxic relationships
What I Didn't Like:
1. Dialog is confusing between characters
2. Side characters deserve more screen time
Overall Thoughts:
{{Disclaimer: I write my review as I read}}
Trying to understand where the attraction between these two is. He avoids answers but mocks her for hers. She turns into brainless mush around him and calls her answers silly as though she's a child.
The relationship between Ruth and Enola is confusing. I think they are ex's that were married and then divorced, but they act as though they were never even married. Enola texts Ruth about sleeping with this man.
The context between what happens & what is happening is just thrown in there and you have to break it up for yourself. Yeah, there is a few lines to separate the past to now but it doesn't help with know what time frame we are currently in and then bounced into.
Also are we not to believe this man right from their first meeting? He says he's allergic to kiwis but pulls one out to eat in from of her. I suppose he's starting the gaslighting early.
Love that this dude uses jokes to cover up his truths. He says he thought it would he harder to bed her than the 3rd date and calls her a slut while also saying it wasn't him that suggested the sex - she was a dog in heat wanting him. This man is a 35 year with a roommate and has a room a college student would have. Just get out sis you are better than him.
It's driving me crazy. It's mentioned that Ruth and Enola grew up together but they didn't have any other photos of them together because her mum burned them, but then it's mentioned that they have the same gap in teeth. But in earlier parts of the book it talks about them breaking up and marriage. Wtf is going on??
I hate all the back handed comments this guy makes that she is too blind too. Glad Ruth was able to see through it. Plus found it funny that his roommate made the cake (doubt he helped at all) and he gave her a CD as a gift, so he spent nothing on her. When she offers to make him one he insults her saying no thanks, but in a less kind way.
Now she's got bruised collarbone because she didn't want to go on holiday where he wanted.
So many moments where I was yelling at the book for Enola to wake up and realize that He is no good for her.
I loved Ruth and Enola's real conversation about how there aren't just two men for Enola and if it didn't work out with them then there is something wrong with Enola. Beautifully written and thought out.
Final Thoughts:
I think this book could have benefited from 2 pov's; Ruth and Enola. It made me sad that Ruth was your typical side character in a book with just enough to like her but not enough to know her.
I was glued to this book that talks if toxic relationships and healthy friendships we replace with toxic relationships just so we don't get judged on our choices. So many times Enola pushed Ruth away because she was worried about what Ruth would gave to say about him.
Loved the ending.
IG | Blog
Thanks to Netgalley and Henry Holt and Co for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
*****SPOILERS*****
About the book:
Enola is approaching 30 and everything feels like a lot. The boxes aren’t ticked and she feels adrift in a way she thought she would have beaten by now. She wants to be a writer but can't finish a first draft; she romanticizes her childhood but won’t speak to her mother; she has never been in a serious relationship but yearns to be one half of a couple that DIYs together at the weekends.
Enter: enigmatic writer. Enola falls in love and starts to dream about their perfect future: the wedding, the publishing deals, the house in Stoke Newington. But the reality is far from perfect. He’s distant. But she’s a Cool Girl, she doesn’t need to hear from him every day. He hangs out with his ex. But she's a Cool Girl, she’s not insecure. Is she? He has dark moods. But he’s a creative, that’s part of his ‘process’. Her best friend begs her to end it, but Enola can’t. She's a Cool Girl.
She might feel like she’s going crazy at times, but she wants him. She needs him. She would die without him...That's what love is, isn’t it? Over the next twenty-four hours (and two years), everything that Enola thinks she knows is about to unravel, and she has to think again about how she sees love, family, and friendship and—most importantly—herself.
Release Date: December 3rd, 2024
Genre: Contemporary fiction
Pages: 320
Rating: ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐
What I Liked:
1. Writing style
2. Unhinged woman vibes
3. The ending
4. All the quotes
5. Realistic view of toxic relationships
What I Didn't Like:
1. Dialog is confusing between characters
2. Side characters deserve more screen time
Overall Thoughts:
{{Disclaimer: I write my review as I read}}
Trying to understand where the attraction between these two is. He avoids answers but mocks her for hers. She turns into brainless mush around him and calls her answers silly as though she's a child.
The relationship between Ruth and Enola is confusing. I think they are ex's that were married and then divorced, but they act as though they were never even married. Enola texts Ruth about sleeping with this man.
The context between what happens & what is happening is just thrown in there and you have to break it up for yourself. Yeah, there is a few lines to separate the past to now but it doesn't help with know what time frame we are currently in and then bounced into.
Also are we not to believe this man right from their first meeting? He says he's allergic to kiwis but pulls one out to eat in from of her. I suppose he's starting the gaslighting early.
Love that this dude uses jokes to cover up his truths. He says he thought it would he harder to bed her than the 3rd date and calls her a slut while also saying it wasn't him that suggested the sex - she was a dog in heat wanting him. This man is a 35 year with a roommate and has a room a college student would have. Just get out sis you are better than him.
It's driving me crazy. It's mentioned that Ruth and Enola grew up together but they didn't have any other photos of them together because her mum burned them, but then it's mentioned that they have the same gap in teeth. But in earlier parts of the book it talks about them breaking up and marriage. Wtf is going on??
I hate all the back handed comments this guy makes that she is too blind too. Glad Ruth was able to see through it. Plus found it funny that his roommate made the cake (doubt he helped at all) and he gave her a CD as a gift, so he spent nothing on her. When she offers to make him one he insults her saying no thanks, but in a less kind way.
Now she's got bruised collarbone because she didn't want to go on holiday where he wanted.
So many moments where I was yelling at the book for Enola to wake up and realize that He is no good for her.
I loved Ruth and Enola's real conversation about how there aren't just two men for Enola and if it didn't work out with them then there is something wrong with Enola. Beautifully written and thought out.
Final Thoughts:
I think this book could have benefited from 2 pov's; Ruth and Enola. It made me sad that Ruth was your typical side character in a book with just enough to like her but not enough to know her.
I was glued to this book that talks if toxic relationships and healthy friendships we replace with toxic relationships just so we don't get judged on our choices. So many times Enola pushed Ruth away because she was worried about what Ruth would gave to say about him.
Loved the ending.
IG | Blog
Thanks to Netgalley and Henry Holt and Co for this advanced copy of the book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
March 2, 2025
A good debut novel focusing on a woman who feels lost and finds herself in a toxic relationship where she can’t help but romanticize the man she is with. I found the writing similar to Dolly Alderton and the story one that many will relate to at some point in their lives.
October 9, 2024
I have tried fervently to come up with a meaningful review for this book, but I just can’t. Getting through this book was a struggle. The style of writing wasn’t something I could vibe with. The content was cringy, crude and uncomfortable; and not even in a way that was thought provoking, fruitful or interesting. It was even difficult to follow both the flow of the plot and who was talking at times. Enola was tragic, hopeless, pathetic and insufferable. It’s hard to like a book when you can’t stand the main character. I get the idea of confronting the reality of poor choices in relationships and partners, and how we can get lost in our distorted perception of those loves; but this just didn’t land for me. Sure, we’ve all been in relationships we shouldn’t have stayed in and we’ve all been people we wish we weren’t, but this seems like it’s every bad trope all in one. Going into this, I saw many good reviews and ratings so as I found myself not enjoying it, I figured I just hadn’t reached “that” part yet. I kept going, expecting the redeeming factor that brought it all together and everything that I hadn’t liked proved necessary. That moment never came for me. This was just depressing, and I wish I had DNF this book.
I’m grateful for winning the giveaway and that’s why I finished the book, but this just wasn’t for me.
I’m grateful for winning the giveaway and that’s why I finished the book, but this just wasn’t for me.
January 1, 2025
Very Sally Rooney Normal People coded I feel. I was bored. His only personality traits are being abusive and saying “honey” in every sentence. Her only personality traits are being obsessed with him and discussing American politics. Give me a break.
October 25, 2024
Ugh, this book was painful to read. For a debut author, it's a masterpiece. There were so many moments when I had to pause and stare at the wall because it took me back to my 20s, a time when I felt deeply every raw emotion of wanting to be seen and desired.
The story dives into the nuances of destructive relationships, illustrating how women can find themselves repeatedly drawn into patterns that don’t serve them—often without realizing why. It explores these dynamics without judgment, providing insight into how early experiences, particularly with family, can shape beliefs about love and self-worth. Through raw and honest storytelling, it depicts the subtle ways people internalize painful relationships and how those experiences can lead to seeking validation in all the wrong places.
This book reminded me of Sarah Manguso’s Liar. Like Manguso, the author captures the complexity of why women should decenter men, move beyond the need to be "chosen," and reclaim their self-worth. It offers an unflinching and painful look at many women's journeys as they work to untangle themselves from these cycles.
The story dives into the nuances of destructive relationships, illustrating how women can find themselves repeatedly drawn into patterns that don’t serve them—often without realizing why. It explores these dynamics without judgment, providing insight into how early experiences, particularly with family, can shape beliefs about love and self-worth. Through raw and honest storytelling, it depicts the subtle ways people internalize painful relationships and how those experiences can lead to seeking validation in all the wrong places.
This book reminded me of Sarah Manguso’s Liar. Like Manguso, the author captures the complexity of why women should decenter men, move beyond the need to be "chosen," and reclaim their self-worth. It offers an unflinching and painful look at many women's journeys as they work to untangle themselves from these cycles.
June 16, 2024
Ugh, we all know a man like the one in this book. This book was a hard read due to the toxic, emotionally abusive relationship that revolves at the center of everything. Enola was both frustrating and relatable throughout. It’s so much easier to see the negatives in a relationship when you’re the one on the outside. I thought the depiction of the gaslighting was done very well, and at times I was even confused as to who was right or misremembering. I absolutely loved Ruth, as well as most of the other side characters. This is both a spot-on and frustrating read focusing on abusive relationship cycles.
Thank you to Henry Holt & Company and NetGalley for the ARC.
Thank you to Henry Holt & Company and NetGalley for the ARC.
March 15, 2024
I can't remember the last time I bookmarked and highlighted so many passages of a book for being such relatable punches to the gut. Thank you so much to Eliza Moss (for writing the book) and Edelweiss (for the digital arc)
As someone who was in a relationship with eerily similar fights and dialogue (like, word for word), it brought me right back to remembering how hard it is to break free of that endless cycle.
This is a difficult read but truly a work of art.
The title is accurate, and Eliza Moss really hit the nail on the head. Painfully and repeatedly.
As someone who was in a relationship with eerily similar fights and dialogue (like, word for word), it brought me right back to remembering how hard it is to break free of that endless cycle.
This is a difficult read but truly a work of art.
The title is accurate, and Eliza Moss really hit the nail on the head. Painfully and repeatedly.
April 24, 2024
Enola meets him at a writer's club and is soon consumed by a toxic relationship that has her thinking back to childhood trauma. The author did a great job depicting the cycle of the relationship, the narcissism, passion, obsession, and self-blame. I loved the character development and the relationship Enola has with her best friend. A well-done debut.
December 11, 2024
People are shelving this as a romance, but I would go in with the warning that there is so much gaslighting that it gave me a ick factor that I never was able to get past it. I wouldn't say steer away, just go in with content warnings of toxic relationships, gaslighting, misogyny, & domestic abuse to name a few.
April 29, 2025
This was so good!! Really heavy topic and it kept me up at night. I loved the character development and Ruth and Enola!!!!
December 29, 2024
Only finished this because I was stuck in a cabin in the woods during a rainstorm and had nothing else to do. Every character (except Ruth) was insufferable, the story dragged, and it could have benefited from additional editing. I would have been better off in the rain.
December 9, 2024
Um who gave this woman my diary from 2016?! Kidding nothing I wrote would be as poetic and funny and incisive.
December 27, 2024
Nothing was cozy; nothing was safe. This was wrong. I was trading my body for the hope of his heart, and he was saying yes to a cup of tea that he didn't really want because someone else was making it.
What It’s Like in Words is a heartbreaking examination of narcissistic abuse in a relationship, and it packs a massive emotional gut punch. The narrator, Enola, is nearing 30 and feeling adrift in her life when she meets “him” at her writers group. She falls in love with him quickly, but it’s clear from the beginning that he doesn’t have feelings on the same level as hers. He gaslights her and criticizes her and ignores her before apologizing and drawing her back in, starting the cycle all over again. It was such a Taylor Swift-coded book for me, so here is a description of Enola’s relationship with him, as told in Taylor Swift songs: “I Knew You Were Trouble” ➡️ “Say Don’t Go” ➡️ “tolerate it” ➡️ “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.” The Swifties know.
Enola is the heart and soul of this book, and when I say that she was absolutely infuriating, I mean it in the most loving way. She was so believable and sympathetic and utterly frustrating in the way she let him walk all over her but yet I UNDERSTOOD. It’s a true testament to Eliza Moss’s writing and character development that I was so drawn in, feeling every emotion Enola felt and justifying her poor choices right alongside her. Moss uses Enola’s utterly devastating experiences with him to bring her to a deeper understanding about herself, and to finally acknowledge the childhood trauma she’s been carrying for decades. It’s a journey to the best version of herself, through her worst experiences.
It’s hard to get a book like this right, but Moss does. She gets it exactly right, and it’s so emotionally resonant and profound. Victoria Blunt's reading of the audio version is perfect; she infuses the character of Enola with so much vulnerability and wistfulness, and it immersed me in all the emotions even more. Thank you to Henry Holt and Co. and Macmillan Audio for the early reading opportunity.
Some comps: Tell Me Lies, Adelaide, and A Very Nice Girl.
January 16, 2025
This book was an absolute trip.
I’m convinced that anyone who hates the fmc is either someone who has always had a strong sense of self or is in denial or has never been gaslit by a man before. I totally understood the main character and her choices, no matter how painful they were to watch. The gaslighting and manipulation was so realistic and devastating.
The relationship portrayed all the high highs and the low lows of being in a toxic relationship, so I think that at points it definitely did feel a little more repetitive and slow. By the time it got to the second half, however. I was totally hooked.
The ending was incredible. I don’t want to give anything away, but the way that everything was wrapped up at the end was perfectly done. No notes.
I’m convinced that anyone who hates the fmc is either someone who has always had a strong sense of self or is in denial or has never been gaslit by a man before. I totally understood the main character and her choices, no matter how painful they were to watch. The gaslighting and manipulation was so realistic and devastating.
The relationship portrayed all the high highs and the low lows of being in a toxic relationship, so I think that at points it definitely did feel a little more repetitive and slow. By the time it got to the second half, however. I was totally hooked.
The ending was incredible. I don’t want to give anything away, but the way that everything was wrapped up at the end was perfectly done. No notes.
December 29, 2024
In “What It’s Like in Words” by Eliza Moss, I stuck with the book because I was curious to see how it would end, and I’m glad I did. The main character’s journey toward understanding how her family issues shaped her toxic relationship patterns felt authentic—maybe a little too authentic.
It challenged me emotionally because her inner thoughts mirrored so many I had in my teenage years and early 20s. At times, it was like reliving my own struggles. I desperately wanted to shake her out of it, the same way I wish someone had done for me back then.
Ultimately, while this book was difficult to read, it was also a raw and worthwhile experience.
It challenged me emotionally because her inner thoughts mirrored so many I had in my teenage years and early 20s. At times, it was like reliving my own struggles. I desperately wanted to shake her out of it, the same way I wish someone had done for me back then.
Ultimately, while this book was difficult to read, it was also a raw and worthwhile experience.
not-for-me
July 30, 2025The writing in the first chapter wasn't for me, though it wasn't objectively bad. I've read several similar stories, and I don't feel intrigued enough to see this one through.
However, whoever described this as a less problematic, better-written version of It Ends with Us was diabolical. The bar is truly in hell. Intimate partner violence and abuse are seldom discussed so openly in books, so I appreciate Eliza Moss giving it a necessary spotlight. If Colleen Hoover is our best chance of finding a comparable title, we probably need additional popular titles in this space.
However, whoever described this as a less problematic, better-written version of It Ends with Us was diabolical. The bar is truly in hell. Intimate partner violence and abuse are seldom discussed so openly in books, so I appreciate Eliza Moss giving it a necessary spotlight. If Colleen Hoover is our best chance of finding a comparable title, we probably need additional popular titles in this space.
December 20, 2024
I unfortunately am dnfing this book at almost 50% — I don’t think this book/plot is for me. I was unaware of the triggers and key topics of gaslighting and abuse in this book and will have to shelf for a different time. The writing is very captivating and I would be keen to read another book by this author! Thank you NetGalley for the digital ARC!
May 1, 2025
Unexpectedly loved it
May 10, 2025
An interesting look (and addictive read) about a toxic relationship. But overall, was very average. I could see the potential in the author’s writing so will definitely check out her next release
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