Exactly twenty-four years ago this month I quit smoking.
It was the WORST ordeal of my life - bar NONE.
No kidding! I just quit cold turkey.
They say there’s no fool like an Old Fool!
That day I felt lost, rootless - I felt I was in a lifeless vacuum.
I was suddenly a disembodied soul.
And that’s exactly what happens when you quit cold turkey.
Previously, your life is so busy and tied up with the endless routines of work - and smoke breaks are your reward, and thereby part and parcel of your work and of the stress that arises during family times as well - that you think NOTHING of quitting.
Poor fool.
NOW, I no longer had the cigarettes that were the crutch for my Social Self!
I was in a Void.
Each day was brute agony. Rather than lose my mind - which may well have happened - I had to fill that void with a voice.
My voice.
Praying.
THIS is the story of that prayer, a prayer prayed a long time ago, by a solitary soul who was on an endless pilgrimage around Russia.
He had left behind everything that he held dear - except his Faith.
Some brave people chance all on a wing and a prayer!
So this quiet, humble narrator walks thousands of miles - casting his fate to the wind - and to God.
Carpe diem -
Quam minimum credula postero!
Yes, this little unassuming man takes the worldly Roman Horace to his Christian heart, seizing the day and leaving what it and tomorrow will bring to his Master’s will.
Who among us could do that today?
For sufficient to each day is not only the good of it, but the evil, as well.
And, soon after quitting smoking I was to learn that, IN SPADES...
One of the biggest software conglomerates in the world was designing a new computer tool for our organization, and I, along with two other former clerks, was slated to troubleshoot and critique it.
This system was the PITS, and we low guys on the totem pole didn’t care who knew it. The backwash from industry and our own senior management then became intense. Big money was on the table. We were being swept aside by a tsunami.
But we fought anyway.
And our work, seen as a breezy rubber stamp of approval, was very nearly stamped XPD (remember THAT blockbuster novel)!
Three years later I sat across the boardroom table from my Director General and told him there was NO WAY the system would work.
So - guess what? - it went back to the drawing board, boys. For ten or twelve long years AFTER I retired.
And you know what ELSE? They say if a tree falls in remote Siberia, someone hears it. And they say even the trees have ears. Believe me, kids - Hard Work Pays Off.
Never say NEVER!
And a year before retirement, for my contribution to our organization, I was awarded the Queen’s Golden Jubilee Medal. And, with all the unfamiliar and unwanted publicity, promptly fell into Burnout...
And, like us three lowly peons, this little pilgrim is repeatedly robbed, screamed at, and beaten within inches of his life. Yet he keeps walking humbly.
What’s his secret?
This one prayer.
The very heartbeat of the Russian Orthodox Philokalia, a copy of which the pilgrim has been given and which he carries all across 19th century Russia in his backpack.
And the prayer is...?
Simply, ‘Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
Which he, and I, repeated without ceasing.
Through blizzards. Over mountains. In the midst of wincing pain. To his amazed hosts, when given hospitality. In the midst of angry mobs. On cold silent nights alone under the stars -
A man and his prayer.
And you know what?
He sees himself as such an extremely little and insignificant part of this great universe...
THAT HE NEVER EVEN TELLS US HIS NAME.
For the fact is, as I was learning, you become nameless under such unbearable circumstances.
So this little pilgrim’s book is such a crucial but gentle gift to the world...
That it can be a LIFE-CHANGER for us!
And it can give us the Courage we need for the LONG HAUL.
It did it for me.