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Spiritual Counsels #4
Family Life
Preface The Young Facing the Two Roads of Life SUPPORTING THE FAMILY For a Harmonious Family With Patience the Family is Saved PARENTS AND THEIR OBLIGATIONS Childbearing The Role of the Mother in Raising Children The Parents' Responsibility for Raising Their Children CHILDREN AND THEIR OBLIGATIONS Children, Their Joys and Their Difficulties The Respect and Love of Children for Parents SPIRITUAL LIFE Spiritual Life in the Family Work and Spiritual Life Self Control in Daily Life THE TRIALS IN OUR LIFE ''We Went Through Fire and Through Water..." Illness Disability Is a Blessing From God Spiritual Laws DATING AND THE FUTURE LIFE Facing Death "Ye Sorrow Not, Even As Others Who Have No Hope" Life After Death INDEX Scriptural Index General Index
328 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
15 people are currently reading
270 people want to read
About the author
Paisios of Mount Athos
19 books67 followersElder Paisios of Mount Athos (Greek: Γέροντας Παΐσιος ο Αγιορείτης), born Arsenios Eznepidis, was a well-known Eastern Orthodox monk from Farasa, Cappadocia. He is famous for his spiritual teachings. Many people worldwide, especially in Greece and in Russia, highly venerated Elder Paisios, even before his formal canonization as a saint, which took place on January 13th 2015.
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
January 26, 2021
Perhaps because I am deeply in the family way (father of 10), I found this to be the volume of St. Paisios that affected me most profoundly. There's a lot to this book, and my clumsy efforts to review it likely do it not enough justice.
As would be expected this is a book written from the Orthodox Christian view. As such, it takes a view of marriage, family, children, etc., different from the postmodern Western view that's become increasingly rationalistic, materialistic, situational, and transactional.
I like that it opens with Paisios's views on how a young person ought to choose their course in life. I think this might have been most helpful to me in my younger days as far as choosing which road in life to take.
Regarding marriage, Paisios takes an approach that I have not really seen before in other writers. He sees monasticism and marriage as two branches from the same tree of the Church. A monastic renounces the world and its appetites and passions and resolves to devote himself to becoming closer and closer over time to God. Marriage, Paisios argues, ought to be a similar aim --- only with now two, man and woman, united together in this same aim, supporting each other, shoring the other up when the other is cast down or weakened in faith. To this end, while carnal or physical intimacy between a husband and wife are natural and healthy, these cannot be ends in themselves ---- as time and circumstance will inevitably take their toll on these. He also sees marriage as not only a communion where the two mutually agree to set aside their individual wants and desires for the common relationship, but also as a taking up the cross as Christ Himself did for us. In other words, as much as love, patience -- a quality given short shrift in modern culture --- is a key ingredient to bearing the ups and downs of married life where you and your mate are both imperfect people.
Within this, Paisios offers good guidance for raising children in the Christian faith. He also deals with difficult topic of infertility, and how couples can use this too to unify with each other and to bless others as well.
Next is a section dealing with obligations of children, including adult ones, to their parents. He emphasizes respect and patience from children in this regard.
Following this is a section dealing with managing a balance between work and spiritual life. "The profession does not make the man." It's not the kind of work or what society esteems about it that matter --- for the Christian, all work is "sanctified", meant to be done honorably and well to do good service to others. Paisios emphasizes that one's faith must drive one in the work place --- being a good, honest employee -- someone who is a blessing to others. Yet, work must be balanced to ensure that one doesn't become career successful, but spiritually empty and bankrupt.
The next section deals with encountering pain and tribulation in life. Suffice to say, Paisios takes an altogether different view of these, much different from what I've read from other Christian authors, but, to me, it does make sense in a number of ways --- such as why troubles come to Christians in this life, and how a Christian can use this as means by which to grow closer to God and reap spiritual rewards in the process.
Finally, Paisios closes this volume with a fascinating discussion and perspective of what occurs with respect to life after death, i.e. the afterlife. I found it inspiring to do my very best, in this life, to continue to build a closer relationship with God, yet also helpful as far as providing hope for those who did not make the right decisions in this life. As someone having lost a father at a young age, his insights were reassuring to me regarding him.
Overall, this is an outstanding book. I recommend it for Christians desiring to strengthen and enrich spiritually their marital and family life as a means of growing closer to God, for those seeking spiritual guidance on handling work, and dealing with the problem of pain and setbacks in this life. One of my favorite Christian books that I've ever read.
As would be expected this is a book written from the Orthodox Christian view. As such, it takes a view of marriage, family, children, etc., different from the postmodern Western view that's become increasingly rationalistic, materialistic, situational, and transactional.
I like that it opens with Paisios's views on how a young person ought to choose their course in life. I think this might have been most helpful to me in my younger days as far as choosing which road in life to take.
Regarding marriage, Paisios takes an approach that I have not really seen before in other writers. He sees monasticism and marriage as two branches from the same tree of the Church. A monastic renounces the world and its appetites and passions and resolves to devote himself to becoming closer and closer over time to God. Marriage, Paisios argues, ought to be a similar aim --- only with now two, man and woman, united together in this same aim, supporting each other, shoring the other up when the other is cast down or weakened in faith. To this end, while carnal or physical intimacy between a husband and wife are natural and healthy, these cannot be ends in themselves ---- as time and circumstance will inevitably take their toll on these. He also sees marriage as not only a communion where the two mutually agree to set aside their individual wants and desires for the common relationship, but also as a taking up the cross as Christ Himself did for us. In other words, as much as love, patience -- a quality given short shrift in modern culture --- is a key ingredient to bearing the ups and downs of married life where you and your mate are both imperfect people.
Within this, Paisios offers good guidance for raising children in the Christian faith. He also deals with difficult topic of infertility, and how couples can use this too to unify with each other and to bless others as well.
Next is a section dealing with obligations of children, including adult ones, to their parents. He emphasizes respect and patience from children in this regard.
Following this is a section dealing with managing a balance between work and spiritual life. "The profession does not make the man." It's not the kind of work or what society esteems about it that matter --- for the Christian, all work is "sanctified", meant to be done honorably and well to do good service to others. Paisios emphasizes that one's faith must drive one in the work place --- being a good, honest employee -- someone who is a blessing to others. Yet, work must be balanced to ensure that one doesn't become career successful, but spiritually empty and bankrupt.
The next section deals with encountering pain and tribulation in life. Suffice to say, Paisios takes an altogether different view of these, much different from what I've read from other Christian authors, but, to me, it does make sense in a number of ways --- such as why troubles come to Christians in this life, and how a Christian can use this as means by which to grow closer to God and reap spiritual rewards in the process.
Finally, Paisios closes this volume with a fascinating discussion and perspective of what occurs with respect to life after death, i.e. the afterlife. I found it inspiring to do my very best, in this life, to continue to build a closer relationship with God, yet also helpful as far as providing hope for those who did not make the right decisions in this life. As someone having lost a father at a young age, his insights were reassuring to me regarding him.
Overall, this is an outstanding book. I recommend it for Christians desiring to strengthen and enrich spiritually their marital and family life as a means of growing closer to God, for those seeking spiritual guidance on handling work, and dealing with the problem of pain and setbacks in this life. One of my favorite Christian books that I've ever read.
August 15, 2013
This is a collection of transcripts of conversations between Elder Païsios and the sisterhood of St. John the Theologian Monastery. Despite the depth of its content, it has a conversational tone.
Family Life might better have been titled Orthodox Family Life: the Elder emphasizes that a harmonious and godly family life can only flourish as part of Christian life in the Church. Its goal is to lead each family member to salvation. His emphases on humility and endurance of tribulation can sound startling to those of us living in a society based on pleasure-seeking, but they are based on the Gospel. I'll confess, though, that at times his counsels of patience in the face of quite severe abuse seemed to amount to passively condoning evil. It would have helped me if he had said something about our duty as peacemakers when we're aware of family violence.
I found the Elder's counsels on rearing children especially helpful. We must always make our children's salvation the first criterion of all our actions toward them. This requires love, forbearance, and a discernment of the uniqueness of each child.
The conversations range, always helpfully, over the whole span of family life: childbearing, caring for the elderly, and finally our care of departed loved ones through prayer.
I would have liked to see a bit more editing of the conversations; sometimes I felt that if Elder Païsios had spoken about the best way to boil an egg, the editors would have reverently included his words. Still, the book is full of profound insights and, despite the often folksy tone, some deep theology. Here are the book's closing words, which have haunted me since I read them (emphasis added):
"It is a very grave thing, after all that God has done for us humans, to go to Hell and grieve Him. May God so protect that not only people, but also not one creature, not even a bird, go to Hell.
May the Benevolent God grant us a sincere and full repentance, so that death finds us in good spiritual condition, and may we be established in His Heavenly Kingdom. Amen."
Family Life might better have been titled Orthodox Family Life: the Elder emphasizes that a harmonious and godly family life can only flourish as part of Christian life in the Church. Its goal is to lead each family member to salvation. His emphases on humility and endurance of tribulation can sound startling to those of us living in a society based on pleasure-seeking, but they are based on the Gospel. I'll confess, though, that at times his counsels of patience in the face of quite severe abuse seemed to amount to passively condoning evil. It would have helped me if he had said something about our duty as peacemakers when we're aware of family violence.
I found the Elder's counsels on rearing children especially helpful. We must always make our children's salvation the first criterion of all our actions toward them. This requires love, forbearance, and a discernment of the uniqueness of each child.
The conversations range, always helpfully, over the whole span of family life: childbearing, caring for the elderly, and finally our care of departed loved ones through prayer.
I would have liked to see a bit more editing of the conversations; sometimes I felt that if Elder Païsios had spoken about the best way to boil an egg, the editors would have reverently included his words. Still, the book is full of profound insights and, despite the often folksy tone, some deep theology. Here are the book's closing words, which have haunted me since I read them (emphasis added):
"It is a very grave thing, after all that God has done for us humans, to go to Hell and grieve Him. May God so protect that not only people, but also not one creature, not even a bird, go to Hell.
May the Benevolent God grant us a sincere and full repentance, so that death finds us in good spiritual condition, and may we be established in His Heavenly Kingdom. Amen."
January 4, 2019
A practical and easy to read and apply text about everything for the orthodox person in the world.
St. Paisios is timeless!
It obviously is not perfect for the present day American reader as the intended audience is Greek citizens. But the overlap is large, especially for Americans of Greek heritage.
St. Paisios is timeless!
It obviously is not perfect for the present day American reader as the intended audience is Greek citizens. But the overlap is large, especially for Americans of Greek heritage.
October 17, 2013
As anything from Elder Paisos, breathtakingly beautiful, transformative, thought provoking and relevant.
January 21, 2021
Οι λόγοι του Άγιου Παϊσίου είναι γραμμένοι σε μορφή ερωταπαντήσεων, πράγμα που δίνει αμεσότητα στο κείμενο. Μέσα από την απλή και ζωντανή αφήγηση του Αγίου, στην οποία παραβάλλονται συχνά ενδιαφέρουσες ιστορίες, είτε από την προσωπική του ζωή, είτε από τη ζωή άλλων ανθρώπων, διαφαίνεται η αγιότητά του και η αγάπη του για τον Χριστό και όλον τον κόσμο.
Το βιβλίο χωρίζεται σε έξι μέρη:
α. Για να σταθεί η οικογένεια
β. Οι γονείς και οι υποχρεώσεις τους
γ. Τα παιδιά και οι υποχρεώσεις τους
δ. Πνευματική ζωή
ε. Οι δοκιμασίες στη ζωή μας
στ. Ο θάνατος και η μέλλουσα ζωή
Το βιβλίο χωρίζεται σε έξι μέρη:
α. Για να σταθεί η οικογένεια
β. Οι γονείς και οι υποχρεώσεις τους
γ. Τα παιδιά και οι υποχρεώσεις τους
δ. Πνευματική ζωή
ε. Οι δοκιμασίες στη ζωή μας
στ. Ο θάνατος και η μέλλουσα ζωή
February 25, 2022
I read this when I was single, and now when I’m married and have a baby it has a very different “ring” to it! St Paisios knew what everyone goes through so well, and approaches even the most sensitive situations in a cheerful manner that helps you see your own faults.
September 6, 2014
Wonderful book!
November 4, 2023
While overly simplistic at times, this book is a well of practical wisdom and advice. It goes over singleness, marriage, children, sickness, loss, death; and in all of it, points us to Christ. Much of the book includes Christians asking questions about challenges in their lives. In response, St. Paisios gives theological answers and suggestions. Many of these questions I could relate to and have wondered about myself. If you have a family, you should read this. He will convict you and then he’ll heal you with his words.
September 22, 2022
INCREDIBLE wisdom. Walking you through all stages of family life. I will refer back to this book for spiritual guidance over and over, I am certain.
October 16, 2022
Best book must be read by everyone 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
February 24, 2024
Reading only
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews