Old Romantics

by Maggie Armstrong

"A few years ago my husband recommended me for a job in his company, and I thought it would be fun, and so a woman named Rosaleen would ring me for a chat. Rosaleen was a senior director in the firm, and these were scheduled chats, but I was always unprepared, running from a room, looking for a pen, or out in the rain, pushing the baby in the pram. Rosaleen had a terse and serious manner that unwound into listless expectation when my turn came to speak. I would say something and she would wait for me to say something better. Rosaleen savoured a pause. The line burned with a shared misgiving even as Rosaleen made me an astounding offer ..." '

Old Romantics' is an acutely observed and hideously entertaining collection of linked short stories from an astonishing new talent. Slippery, flawed and acute, Maggie Armstrong's narrator navigates a world of awkward expectation and latent hostility.

Genres: Short Stories, Fiction, Ireland, Irish Literature, Literary Fiction, Contemporary

Paperback

Published April 18, 2024

Reviews

[Paul Fulcher · Rating 3 out of 5]

We try our best, but it’s never possible to be alone.

Old Romantics is a collection of linked short stories, written in both the first and third person - linked in the sense that they are essentially about the same woman Margaret, although not always with strict continuity, rather these are at times different stories about a woman like Margaret.

The character is a sort of alter-ego of the author, but a rather exaggerated one, and the stories follow her through a series of rather disastrous relationships, from her first sexual encounter to her late 30s and her second child with a widower (his wife was terminally ill when their affair began) with two children from his first marriage.

As the author told the Irish Times

She’s a young journalist from quite a privileged background, who has maybe no moral guidance and very little sense, and is inclined to trust people who she shouldn’t trust, and get into trouble. God love her. I wish I could sit down with her and give her a good bit of advice. Like panto – ‘look behind you!’. Some of the scrapes this alter-ego gets herself into are so disturbing that I couldn’t possibly write it in the first person. I needed to achieve a critical distance from such a deranged girl.

My Mistake was perhaps my favourite of the stories - in part as it had a change of tone - since here the flawed relationship is one of a nepotistically acquired job for which Margaret proves ill-suited, despite her previous work experience:

It’s not true that I had never worked before. After college, I’d completed a year-long internship in the Dublin office of an international think tank. For the first month or so, there was nothing for me to do inside the think tank. I asked around, and nobody could think of anything, so I just read The Brothers Karamazov, propped against my keyboard for all to see. I made coffee and emailed friends, and read about the gross betrayals of the sons of Fyodor Pavlovich Karamazov while my new colleagues all clacked on their keys and went to and from the filing cabinet.

A review from the Bookmunch blog which explains the book's merit, and its literary antecedents, rather better than I can.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love short stories and so glad that the first short story collection I’ve read this year was a good one. OLD ROMANTICS by Maggie Armstrong is a debut collection of linked short stories focused on Margaret as she navigates life, growing older and her romantic relationships. I loved the line in the second story about using chopsticks fluently and how these stories showed the humour in intimacy. I also really enjoyed the way writing was layered in with Margaret the character seemingly being a bit autobiographical as she’s writing a story in a story and then later is writing her life as fiction, as a short story. I’d definitely be interested to read more from this author!

Thank you to Biblioasis Books for my ARC!

[Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

The latest from small Irish publisher Tramp Press, these linked short stories roughly follow the life of the author’s writer alter ego as she proceeds through a series of unsuitable and doomed relationships. Mostly with men but also with the concept of wage labor, interestingly enough. She is a hard character to love though and the continual string of bad choices and relationships produces for me an overall dispiriting effect. As a sketch of a life lived without any major disasters, yet surely lived unsatisfactorily, it succeeds.

1) Number One. Is this Sally Rooney without the Marxism and HBO deal? Young Irish pair fumbling about with sex and a relationship. Only there’s no talking here, quite the opposite, they have nothing to talk about and no curiosity and nothing in common besides emotional deadness. Even going for an abortion elicits nothing. A dire state of existing here. 2.5/5

2) Dublin Wedding. Margaret gets a housemate and decides they might as well fall in love, have kids, and assume the standard marital gender roles - sure she doesn’t have much else going on. She attempts to manifest dreams into reality. Daniel avoids coming home. Sensible man. 3.5/5

3) All the Boys. The only thing our girl says she’s interested in is having a tremendous time. She must mean that ironically as she’s into the second volume of Proust and takes up with a hapless manchild who is poor in bed (and pronounces it “Prowst”; well, one can forgive that). 2.5/5

4) Old Romantics. The irony is flowing freely now. Maggie visits America with her partner, a stereotype of the loud obnoxious Ugly Irishman. Narcissistic, he accuses her of narcissism; she’s glad he has enough personality for two. She alternates fighting with and submitting to him. Fight, Maggie, fight. 3/5

5) My Success. An executive gets his post-uni daughter a job with catering at corporate to repay loans for travel and debauchery. She doesn’t mind, spends most of her time staying out of the way and recalling carnal pleasures, but in possibly her first productive act in society brings the hungry Mr. O’Mahony all the way from Cork something to eat. Discover a new pleasure, that of a job well done. 4/5

6) Sparkle. Struggling at becoming a writer, how much of a welcome distraction it is to have a surprise hookup with an old acquaintance you’ve lusted for. But he still doesn’t remember your name. Carnal disillusionment, what a let down. 2/5

7)Baked Alaska. Maggie is back out with Ugly Irishman. Why on earth, though. At least she thinks she’s finally done with him for good at the end. 2/5

8) Trouble. Longish story at about 40 pages detailing the exhaustingly drama-filled relationship of Margaret and Sergio (“they were unable, or unwilling, to pass an evening without a fight”) as she proceeds through a pregnancy. Neither are sympathetic characters, and they decide to have a baby right after Margaret is caught cheating on the already married Sergio. Swell idea. 2.5/5

9) Maternity Benefit. Maggie has a baby in this humorous, possibly even sweet at times, if we can be allowed to stray from irony a bit, story. Becomes metafictional as well, and why not - create a baby, create a story. The father, like an editor, is an unseen off-stage presence and this story is better for it. 4/5

10) My Mistake. A version of the earlier story “My Success”; in this one the job comes from the husband. Echoes of DFW’s writing in portraying a corporate environment consisting of near incomprehensible and meaningless work. In one sense then it doesn’t matter that the character accomplishes nothing. But. A coworker confesses that all she really wants to do is read novels in the sun. In terms of human flourishing that would indeed be far preferable. 3/5

11) Two Nice People. An exhausted single mother at the beach with her toddler falls asleep. Concerned citizens call police for a wellness check. She could of course do with some different sort of help from the state. 3/5

12) Trouble Again. Margaret and Sergio’s relationship continues on its ever-disintegrating course as she gets pregnant again in another long entry that coincides with the coronavirus lockdown. A bit metafictional - “she resists affectionate portrayal. Perhaps it’s that she shows herself so much love, not many other people have to.” A heck of a thing to write of your alter ego! Also surely untrue. 3/5

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up

All the stories in this collection deal with love and it's many aspects: from courtship to marriage. Maggie Armstrong has an eye for detail and can write a funny tale. Not all the stories work though, which is the usual problem I have with the short story format but ah well, this one's pretty good.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Surprisingly loved this, don’t usually like short stories but Aya got this for me and I’m so happy she did. Not a happy book, but very real, kinda sad but I like sad.

[Adrian Alvarez · Rating 3 out of 5]

First, the good. Maggie Armstrong has a very strong voice here and she is able to craft each one of these stories with a focus on the vulnerabilities emotional center of her narrative persona. There is polished craftwork here (mostly) and I think the strength of this collection lies in Armstrong's strengths as a writer.

What I absolutely hated about this book (and I do hate it) was the fact that I found myself having to spend time with this mean-spirited and vacuous immature character. I realize that my reaction against the book is an aspect in and of itself, something that could probably use some examining, but all the same, where Armstrong's prose style is hypnotic and concise in it's line by line assembly, in the overall construction of the her stories she resists answering any of the questions she asks with anything more than an ironic turn of self-deprication. Okay, for one story I can laugh but this obsessive drive to turn every moment into a sad trombone was irritating at best, the most unhelpful cynicism nobody needs today from a mean drunk at worst. By the end of each story I was given my own sad trombone as in, no, nothing meaningful here either... again. Three stars for the accomplished prose. One giant eye roll for how Armstrong decided to employ it.

[Isabelle Boothman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved loved loved this.

[Laura King · Rating 4 out of 5]

A rare short story collection that I was able to read really quickly, which is handy because of the blurred and overlapping identities of the narrator(s)

[Steph Percival · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is 100% an example of a book I bought for the cover but it was the writing that kept me reading. You could easily change the name of this short story collection to ‘Oh, Margaret!’ for how exacerbating the protagonist can be. And yet, when you follow her through the last story, you somehow enjoy her anyway despite everything.

[Elizabeth McConnon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved every page.

[Lindsay · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I would have liked this collection more if I hadn’t just read Table For Two which was such a great set of short stories. This collection was good but it didn’t blow me away.

[Rita Egan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Old Romantics
By Maggie Armstrong

I had no clue what I was going into when I randomly selected this gorgeously designed book from the "Readers Recommend" display in my local library. I just knew that the effort that had gone into the aesthetic was a guarantee of something special, and so it is.

"Acutely observed and hideously entertaining" is spot on. "A world of devious attraction and latent hostility"? Well, we've all been there. And what I love most of all, is the utter honestly with which this debut author reveals the truths and neuroses, the despicable secret narcissism, the shaming selfishness we all accuse ourselves of, when all were trying to do is keep everyone alive with some modicum of dignity.

This collection of warped romance stories began as individual pieces in various literary journals and reviews. I will be scouring them in future for more of this fiesty, smart and brave author.

Highly recommend. Especially if like me, you gravitate away from the Romance genre.

[chester · Rating 4 out of 5]

'What we really all must do,' he said to her once, 'is improve the quality of our conflicts.' She believes he will help her to resolve hers too, the conflicts in her home and in the corners of her mind. Margaret has no peace. She oscillates from one outrageous and perverse longing to the next.
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[Kate · Rating 4 out of 5]

Review to come! Thanks to the publisher for the ARC!

[Caoilainn · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 rounded up. Struggled to connect with a few of the characters but the writing is so razor sharp, stunning.

[Shauna Armstrong · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book! A nice read. Loved how raw and relatable it was. The book told some stories we can all relate to and made it humorous and natural.

[Alexie Mobley · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 -This collection of linked short stories depicts what it means to be human and imperfect. It explores all the messy and sometimes cringy parts of love and life and the experiences we have as we grow up.

-Although relatable and entertaining, I was never engrossed. One of my favorite parts was reading the descriptions around Dublin and recognizing my favorite areas in the city.

[Sheila · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book of short stories based on Margaret, the narrator and her love life over many years. I was quite gobsmacked by the stories as the character was so flawed . Most of it is written in the first person ,therefore we have just one unreliable view of things. It covers a multitude of facets..desire for boyfriends, illusion of love which invariably failed, pregnancy, adultery, one night stands, marriage, step children, motherhood, career and failure and a writers ruthless determination to write, despite many rejections.
Overall, I was glued to the book but disliked it.

[CJ Mason The Fallen Librarian Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

My review for this phenomenal collection of short stories is on my blog https://thefallenlibrarian.wordpress....

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

Old Romantics is a collection of twelve short stories by Irish writer Maggie Armstrong, linked by echoing themes which perversely have very little to do with conventional notions of romance - and it is that which makes this book so mind-jarringly compelling.

Generally speaking, the collection follows a chronology from teenage angst to motherhood and strained family life, through scenes of sexual awakening and off-kilter relationships, with a little side-order of work place weirdness. In every case there is a discord between fantasist levels of expectation and the harsh thwack of reality, and the way the narrative flips between stream of consciousness-like first person intensity and third person separation fits nicely with each one.

There is pitch black humour to be found in many of these tales - I particularly liked the comic Black Mirror vibes of The Dublin Marriage (my favourite of them all), and the surreal road-trip of Old Romantics - but there is also a darkness of a different kind, which I found quite disconcerting. I was unable to shake the feeling that life is happening to these characters almost against their will. They are so mentally detached from from the physical acts they are engaging in, and the bitter tastes of sordidness and hopeless despondency become quite overwhelming as you work your way through the stories.

Repeated threads of dysfunctional relationships that leave their mark on fragile mental health make this a collection that is the antithesis of warm-hearted romantic fayre, and the sharply observed, thought-provoking way Armstrong uses them means there is a lot here to talk about, and to divide the crowd. This makes this book a great choice for book clubs and reading groups.

I confess that I am in two minds about this collection, caught between the highly entertaining farcical tales, and the tragic ones that hit with a visceral poignancy. This is not a book I can easily refer to as one I 'enjoyed' as there is such a disenchanting edge to it, but I can tell you that reading it has been a fascinating experience. I suspect that I will be picking it up again in the future to reread some of these stories, as Armstrong's writing has a seductive pull to it that is hard to ignore.

Maggie Armstrong is now a writer on my literary radar, and I look forward to seeing what comes from her pen next.

[Juliano · Rating 5 out of 5]

“I know it shouldn’t matter when a person walks away forever but it does. All of it matters.” Old Romantics is a wholly original and distinct short story collection from Maggie Armstrong. Here the gulfs between what we want and get, what we desire and what we need, how we love and how we are loved, are probed and plumbed with forensic skill that doesn’t skimp on humour and levity amidst turns of contemplation, profundity and sincerity. But Armstrong’s prose is so wryly precise it carries this range of tones and feeling so effortlessly, never jarring. None of the stories jar either — in fact this collection could well be a novel, in another life, all these explorations of a singular(ish?) woman, Margaret, and the tumult of love as well as trying to find a place in a world of work, a place not only as a woman but as first and foremost a writer. That dimension shone through frequently, of a woman fighting against failures of form and expression to tell all of the “sixty stories” she has inside: “none of them are finished, and they are all the same story”. As for failing: “I didn't have direction as a writer, or any publications, yet, though I had ambition, could execute a rushed idea. I was well capable of banging out […] screechy autofictions which I would expunge on A4 paper before abandoning them one by one. This was the trouble with it all. […] I knew exactly where this would end up. Of all the sentences I'd written, crossed out and rewritten, they'd all gone in the bin, or were left to disappear in boxes.” Books about narrativity have long interested me and Armstrong views it from such a wide range of angles, especially in motherhood towards the end of the collection: “She thought she’d love to slip into such a story, with its drama already written”. I loved the title story and ‘Baked Alaska’, which intertwine and juxtapose so neatly, and the two ‘Trouble’ pieces, even if the second, with its look at a relationship disintegrating during Covid, hit a little too close to home. I love above all else how alive and elastic this collection is, how pinched I often was by its astute verve: “It is demeaning to have to be so hysterical when it comes to something as important as your life.” Says it all.

[Caitlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I devoured this book of short stories quickly, even though I was almost reading it through my fingers across my eyes sometimes, cringing. These interconnected stories, all with the same protagonist, mostly outline very raw and very unflattering moments within her romantic relationships. There is very bad sex described, men behaving badly, the main character making selfish and seemingly inexplicable choices...And yet, I read on, like a person binging on gossip about the misfortunes of someone you knew back in the day.

And the thing is, as much as I was shaking my head most of the time, there was enough in Margaret to sometimes evoke a cringe of recognition in me. The writing is so specific, so honest, that you cannot help but relate to tiny moments of Margaret's failings -- even if you don't want to. Maggie Armstrong has a gift for showing, not telling, and she chooses the most mundane moments, the most universally domestic sometimes, to reveal a gut-punch of regret or shame or sometimes just love. It's pretty dazzling at times.

[Gimone Sordon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful. Sharp and concise but not bare; these stories are full of feeling. My Mistake and Trouble are standouts. I have never read an account of maternity and birth like this before. The frustration at not having been warned about the goriness of the whole thing is something I have often wondered about. This rubs up against her smugness at looking so ripe and big bellied in the late stages and her unbridled elation with her new son post birth. Armstrong communicates this cocktail of emotions with an effortlessness I find so captivating. Her depiction of the absurdity of office life in an ill-defined ‘support’ role in My Mistake was very entertaining and I’m sure will ring true for many. Can’t wait to read more from this author!

[Jena Mattison · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked a lot of little parts - particular sentences that used metaphors to describe relatable life experiences - of this book but I wasn’t hooked on the story. Honestly, I didn’t realize that each section was even about the same person until about the halfway point. The main character was a little lost for a lot of the book (me too) and I wasn’t very attached to her finding her way. This book was more of a challenge than a joy.

[Bronte · Rating 3 out of 5]

Only a few of the short stories seemed interconnected to me and those ones that shared characters I didn't like.

Most centered around toxic relationships (and dare I say weak women). Didn't mind the book but would certainly not recommend, spent most of it frustrated and wanting to scream at the characters.

[Kathryn Dernham · Rating 2 out of 5]

She is a very good writer - but the main character is unbearable - immature, selfish, just downright stupid. I could not take it - nor could I read this with a sense of humor or appreciate the irony. It was just too frustrating. Her writing kept me reading - but I really was just stunned at the stupidity of the main character.

[Juliana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Funny, sad and absorbing. I enjoyed the form as much as the content: the linked short stories added up to a portrait of womanhood that was layered and complex and utterly riveting. Margaret is a character who will stay with you.

[holly · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ page 85
idk if there’s something up with me but this book literally makes no sense to me
while the first two stories were comprehensible i hated the characters, and all in all none of the stories seem to have much spark or really purpose. it just feels like words on a page

[Heather]

Well-written but to what end? Some excellent lines to be sure, and, the protagonist seems like a real person, if a largely unlikeable one. Overall, I'm left feeling like life is a rather dreary affair after all.

[angela hogan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging short stories