Suicide: An Anthology

by Jon Lindsey (Editor), Cory Bennet (Editor), B.R. Yeager

On September 21, 2021 CORY BENNET and JON LINDSEY posted a request for writing by survivors of suicide.

This book, co-published by CASH FOR GOLD BOOKS and HOUSE OF VLAD PRESS, contains some of the many responses,

ALLIE ROWBOTTOM
B.R. YEAGER
BRAD PHILLIPS
CHARLENE ELSBY
CHRIS CLINEBELL
CORY BENNET
DAVID FISHKIND
DYLAN BOYER
EVAN CERNIGLIA
FELICIA URSO
GARTH MIRÓ
JOE HAWARD
JOHN TOTTENHAM
JON BERGER
JON LINDSEY
KARTER MYCROFT
LILY LADY
NICK FARRIELLA
PEPPY OOZE
SAM BERMAN
SARAH GERARD
STEVE ANWYLL
TJ
TROY JAMES WEAVER

———

All proceeds from the sale of this book go

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide please call 988 in the U.S. or for international help visit www stopsuicide com.

Genres: Essays, Anthologies, Nonfiction

252 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 30, 2023

Reviews

[Ian Taylor · Rating 5 out of 5]

Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988, available 24 hours a day.

You belong here as much as anyone else.

[Benoit Lelièvre · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a trained volunteering health worker at a suicide hotline, I gotta tell you: TW on this one. There is some real despair in this collection. Many of the authors who collaborated to this anthology have hit rock bottom and have shopped for ways to make their suffering end. So handle with care if you're struggling with depression and despair yourself, otherwise you'll find an anthology that's beaming with incandescent sincerity and nasty buried feelings. It's hard not to like.

[Chaunceton Bird · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why read these experiences? Why follow the bloody footprints to the looming edge? Because maybe the edge is hard to see and those footprints—and their abrupt absence—helps one to better understand their own path. This anthology is full of frighteningly familiar sentiment. Each writer disregards taboos and illuminates some of the darker corners of the human experience.

I don't think wanting to die is wrong. I don't think those with the constitution to take matters into their own hands are per se mentally ill or clinically depressed. But I do think there is a right way to go about it, and one should avoid causing others emotional and psychological harm with one's death. While not all of the writers in this anthology agree with me on these points, their writing beautifully supports those tenets.

This book, hopefully, will help readers be more sympathetic to those pacing on the edge. Or jumping from it.

[Bob Comparda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Cory Bennet - Summercide ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Brad Phillips - Brad's Back On His Bullshit ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Dylan Boyer - Fragments of a Nervous Illness ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Felicia Urso - What I'd Ask If You Weren't Dead ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Chris Clinebell - Untitled ⭐⭐⭐⭐
TJ - Untitled ⭐⭐⭐
Sam Berman - When You Jump Off the Brooklyn Bridge ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Sarah Gerard - The Bar ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Garth Miró - Silver Toyota Attempt #39 ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Karter Mycroft - In the Water, Nowhere ⭐⭐⭐
Lily Lady - On Being (A Bad Person) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Peppy Ooze - Selected Bones of Bleak ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Steve Anwyll - Pierre's Last Sale ⭐⭐⭐
Troy James Weaver - Partial Suicide ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
David Fishkind - Rapture at the Parkview Diner ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Charlene Elsby - That's Enough ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Jon Berger - Slime Brain ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Evan Cerniglia - On Sainthood, Debts, and Roast Beef ⭐⭐⭐
Joe Haward - Twin Speaks ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Nick Farriella - Noose Tattoo ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
B.R. Yeager - The Ruin ⭐⭐⭐
Allie Rowbottom - Formula for Loss ⭐⭐⭐
John Tottenham - The End is Near Here ⭐⭐⭐
Jon Lindsey - Omens, Portents, Comets ⭐⭐⭐⭐

[Adam Rodenberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection of essays from people who've either attempted suicide, or are the survivors of others who've done so successfully. Some of the writing is really great and relatable; other sections more poetic in nature. While a dark topic, I found a lot of the entries to be moving and well written.

Standout pieces: "Brad's Back on His Bullshit" by Brad Phillips, "Fragments of a Nervous Illness" by Dylan Boyer, "Untitled" by TJ, " Selected Bones of Bleak" by Peppy Ooze, "Pierre's Last Sale" by Steve Anwyll, "That's Enough" by Charlene Elsby (some of the best prose I've ever read; absolutely stunning), and "The Ruin" by BR Yeager.

* * *

"Extreme self-centeredness lies at the heart of depression. Same with anxiety, a disorder in which the sufferer perceives everything both inside and outside the body as terrifying. But we do wear on people, and I get that. I'm trying I guess to demonstrate what depression feels like, it's self-obsession (and not TRYING so much as this is happening naturally, in real time), constant self-surveilling and self-recrimination.

It feels gross, we feel gross, we seek reassurance, our reassurance-seeking becomes gross, and those behaviors we developed as defense mechanisms against abandonment become the very reason we find ourselves increasingly, repeatedly alone."

*

"I know these things don't work, but I return to them repeatedly. They don't work, I know, because I've gotten blowjobs, been offered shows, sold paintings, had writing published and cashed paychecks, yet remained incapable of pausing, for more than one real hour, the clusterfuck in my head. I'm never living my life because I'm always too preoccupied with what will become of it."

[Josh Dale · Rating 5 out of 5]

It goes without saying this is a masterclass in grief. Many unique & genuine tales of suicide, the ideation, or experiencing the aftermath of a loved one’s passing. Refined, dour, and inspiring all in one. I thoroughly enjoyed most of these stories.

[David Catney · Rating 5 out of 5]

“It is all I can do to write, to fold language in an attempt to preserve even some semblance of what has once been, and perhaps even do so prettily, if as I fear I am unable to do so artfully.”

[Gina O.C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unflinching collection of stories from survivors and witnesses. It is raw, haunting, and at times hopeful, with expressions so beautiful and succinct it might leave you breathless. As a person who struggles with words, the book is a revelatory language in and of itself. I come back to it often.
Additionally, I have found some truly spectacular writers from this collection, whose other works are worthwhile to seek.

[Franz · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a collection, very uneven, but with some real diamonds in the rough to be found. My eyes glazed over more of these stories than I would like to admit. However “Rapture at the Parkview Diner”, "Slime Brain", and “Brad’s Back on His Bullshit” were eminently relatable to the point of being downright therapeutic.

[Mackenzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

sad

[Jose Carpio · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overwhelmingly bleak basically from start to finish. Contains many honest and accurate depictions of depression