When Doing It All Is Undoing You: Meeting God in Your Unmet Expectations

by Alyssa Joy Bethke

What do we do with our unmet expectations? When life has not turned out the way we imagined?
 
Feeling fragmented and frazzled, many women today are caught in a vicious cycle trying to do too much, hold everything together, manage and control their circumstances, and avoid mistakes at all costs.  
 
But no matter how hard we try, there are many things outside of our control. In trying to do it all, we are undone ourselves.  
 
What if we could shift our perspective so that, instead of spinning our wheels wasting energy manufacturing and controlling our lives, we aim to let go and lean into who we are becoming?  
 
In When Doing It All is Undoing You, Alyssa Bethke helps readers understand the difference between what is in and what is out of our control, and she examines how our striving for approval, balance, happiness, and lofty ideals  often masks underlying fear and disappointment. She acknowledges that even when we do all the right things, the outcome we hope for is not guaranteed, and addresses the disillusionment so many of us feel when the life we have looks nothing like the life we envisioned.

Ultimately, Alyssa shows readers that turning towards the God who is after our authentic hearts is the only guarantee of a life of hope and fulfillment, the life we’re all longing for. By drawing near to God as the primary source of our joy and contentment, we can learn to hear His voice, find freedom and hope in our deep disappointments, and become the women that He created us to be- free, full, and faithful.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living, Christian Non Fiction, Nonfiction, Religion, Faith

243 pages, Kindle Edition

Published September 17, 2024

Reviews

[Wynne Elder · Rating 5 out of 5]

loved loved listening to this!!! almost every day I listened the chapter was exactly what I needed. so encouraging !! I will be coming back to this. I really recommend 🤍🤍

[Angela Cross · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Our desires become demands. And our demands start to rule our hearts. And so we neglect our hearts or try to earn our hearts, and we end up losing heart.”

This book took me longer than normal to read, but I wanted to savor each chapter and process what I felt the Lord was saying to me. I only started highlighting half way through the book and wish I would have started sooner. I picked up this book after listening to a podcast and I’m so grateful I did. I would recommend this to anyone who feels any type of disappointment or who feels like they’re doing it all and it’s not working for them. Sweet reminders I’ll come back to over and over again.

[Caitlyn Gallenstein · Rating 3 out of 5]

While nothing in this book was particularly "mind-blowing" for me, I feel it's a good reminder for those who are going through hard times and are looking for spiritual guidance. Examples used in this book weren't super relevant to the majority of people who could benefit from a spiritual self-help book.

Overall, it was a great concept but just not that engaging for those who are seeking true guidance in this topic.

[Courtney Espinoza · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great if you are feeling run down in life. Alyssa is a great writer that is encouraging to those who are feeling like they are being ran down. She shares he real life experiences to help encourage others in their own lives.

[Julie Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a breath of fresh air in how to handle life when you feel like it’s all dependent on you. Will reread.

[Tori Boeve · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this for Bible study!! Definitely made me think in depth about myself and my faith.

[Katey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great read if you're one to sometimes take on a lot and feel like you are drowning in it all. Also super helpful when you have expectations you've set in life, and they aren't being met and how to deal with those feelings on a spiritual level.

[Joy Caine · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5-4 stars

[Jessica Dudok · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I picked this book out, I thought it was going to be different than it was. I thought it was going to be more practical about how to manage tasks and a busy schedule as a Christian woman. This book was more focused on our heart posture, which is still very important. Although it wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, there was still a lot of wisdom and convicting statements. I enjoyed seeing the authors personality through her writing style. I enjoyed the reflection prompts at the end of each chapter. I felt that she rambled in some sections rather than getting straight to the point. I was not a fan of the fact that she primarily used the message version of the Bible to back up her reasoning. I thought some of the concepts were very superficial and basic. This may be a better book for new believers. The major thing that I took away from this book was to make space for Jesus in your busy life and be self aware of your heart and when you need to stop and take time to be with the Lord when you feel disheartened, even if it means sacrificing your to do list. She emphasized frequently reflecting on the heart; on how you’re doing, what you’re feeling, and what you’re thinking the most about in a day. “When we don’t take time to get away and hear from Jesus, we will find ourselves coming apart”. Sometimes it’s more important to put your gaze on Jesus rather than your to do list, your phone, your work, your desires, or the things you should and could do. Every day we should ask the Lord to prepare our hearts, recite scripture to ourselves, pray for others, clothe ourselves with love, joy, humility, and strength, and serve others through our work. Shift your focus to view your days through Jesus’ eyes, not your own.

Other takeaways:
- we have the choice of how we show up, how we love, and how we respond
- We often feel burnt out because we neglect our heart or lose heart
- We take on many roles which can leave us feeling worn out when we don’t prioritize the right things and we say yes to too many things
- We often try to fix things by going to google or figure out a formula thinking it will be the thing that will change everything.
- How can God touch the places in me that were becoming fragmented and falling apart if I didn’t bring them to him?
- The enemy longs to distract and discourage you. He causes you to neglect your heart which causes you to lose heart. He wants to make you asleep for Jesus because a heart fully alive in Jesus is powerful and changes the atmosphere.
- Take time to tend to your heart. It might take longer than you expect, but your work and your family will be okay. Ask people to help. Say no to things. Make firm boundaries. It is not only okay, but vital to tend to your heart.
- God is present. You just have to open your eyes to see it. Becoming self aware of what is going on in your heart is key to finding freedom from the heavy burdens of life.
- Our desires are what draw us to God and what draws us away.
- Whatever we might gain- money, position, approval by others- it’s not worth it. Matthew 16:26 - what good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul.
- Learn to long for the sacred. Not just the good but the holy. Gods people should be longing to know Jesus and for others to know Jesus.
- We long for peace, for a worry free life, but the problem is that we are removing Jesus from it and holding it as the ultimate
- Jesus didn’t come for you to live a well adjusted and easy life that looks like you checked off all the marks on your journey. Jesus came to win your heart back to His.
- Our desire for peace and love for others is good, but it’s as we partner with him that that is accomplished, not as we do things on our own and try to hold it all together by how we manage it all.
- Walk through the pain and the disappointments and the hard with Jesus.
- Jesus’ presence is with us. He is the helper. Rather than giving Moses in the OT a blueprint of answers for life, he gives Moses himself
- You have to learn to live with the results of tomorrow for whatever they are
- Exodus 34: he did not realize that the skin of his face shone as a result of his speaking with the Lord - when we spend time with Jesus, we will radiate his light
- When we let go of the outcomes that are out of our control and reflect Jesus’ light, that is when our presence brings his presence.
- Jesus is after your yes. Your willingness to trust him no matter the outcome. To obey what he says because you are in relationship with him and love him. Do you love him more than the outcome?
- Ask the Lord to show you where you’re not seeing your sin and he will.
- Ask the Lord for more of him, to receive him.
- You are made for the purposes of the kingdom of God, not for the kingdom of earth. Why would you live for the world when they’re the ones who put Jesus on the cross.
- To have a well ordered heart is to love the right thing to the right degree in the right way with the right kind of love. The difference between idolatry and the love of God.
- Balance lacks a notion that my life is to be given to something larger than myself. It lacks a call to sacrifice and self denial, the risky and costly abandon of following Jesus. The ability to sacrifice your schedule if it means doing something for the kingdom.
- Be a disciple that fully says yes to whatever God asks of you. Be all in, no matter the cost. Even if disciples in the Bible faced rejection, they were faithful.
- Spend time alone with Jesus. Spend more time with Jesus than talking about him. The first commandment is to love God and the second is to love people.
- When we spend time with Jesus, not just reading scripture, but letting scripture seep into our hearts and minds, talking with God, telling him our pains and thoughts and fears, seeing what he wants to tell us and what he wants to give us each day. Not only will we be transformed, but people will see that we have been with Jesus. Give yourself space to reflect with Jesus. Be flexible with your time with God.
- Only after being with God, are we ready to go out. To look for where he is working, what he is up to, and to join him, to give your very precious life away, boldly. Ask God to give you opportunities daily and to see his people.
- Our American lives have conditioned us to be comfortable at whatever the cost, but do we realize what that costs our soul? Jesus loves us. He wouldn’t ask us to do something if it weren’t for our good and his glory. We must trust that Jesus goes before us.
- Even when our circumstances seem busy and ugly, he is actually doing a beautiful work inside of us
- You need to get to a place where you can fully accept that if this never changes, if the circumstance stays this way forever, you will be okay. You can still live with Hope and joy and peace knowing that God is good and you have God (me with figuring out my health issues)
- Jesus is always with us. It’s just a matter of us becoming awake to and aware of his presence
- I can’t audibly hear God‘s voice, but I can sense what he’s speaking to my heart. It’s almost like having a thought or feeling that you know isn’t your own or goes against your fleshly desires.
- Christian maturity is not about how much we know about God but it’s about how much we are willing to receive from God
- Whatever you say or think is either blessing someone or cursing someone
- What if instead of going about our days full of anxiety, dread and worry, we were full of peace. God wants us to plant our feet and sow seeds and be fully present. Our presence is a gift to others. Our presence should be full of love, peace, and joy. Our role is to be present and secure and anchored, not frazzled, stressed, and needing to make it all happen.
- As we anchor ourselves in Jesus, we become steady and peaceful. We do the work, We love well, but we do so with open hands and open hearts.
- Take time and space to consider how you’re doing, why you reacted the way you did, what you’re worried about, and what needs to be given over to Jesus. We must seek to ground ourselves in God.
- As a daily practice, keep your phone away from you until you’ve talked with God. Ask him what he has for you today. What are you up to that I can join in on?
- Sometimes being grounded in God requires us to get on our knees. we cry we praise we hope we grieve, but we meet with God and look to him first. we see him
- We should see our days through Jesus‘s eyes, not our own
- Jesus walked slow. He walked unhurried. He was available. He was present. He was grateful he was hopeful he was trusting.
- Let your exhaustion, your anxiety be soothed and healed and freed by the one who is peace
- Our suffering our exhaustion over trying to manage everything is an invitation for us to find Jesus and learn to lean into him. When we can’t control the outcomes is when we finally come and rest in him.

[Chrissy Boaglio · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alyssa Bethke's, When Doing It All Is Undoing You, is a timely and relatable guide for women navigating the pressure-filled world of social media, perfectionism, and the overwhelming demand to constantly be and do more. In a world where we're bombarded with images of success, beauty, and achievement, this book feels like a much-needed breath of fresh air, reminding us that we don't have to carry it all.

Alyssa Bethke's voice is authentic and compassionate, resonating deeply with the modern woman who is grappling with the pressures to be perfect, whether it’s in her career, relationships, or personal appearance. She poignantly writes, "We’ve confused our worth with our ability to perform, but our value doesn’t come from what we do, it comes from who we are in Christ.” This simple yet profound truth is one that feels especially relevant in a time when our worth is often measured by the number of likes, followers, or achievements.

What sets this book apart is how Alyssa not only highlights the struggles many of us face, but she also offers practical, spiritual tools to help ease the burden. Each chapter concludes with actionable spiritual practices, encouraging readers to reflect and apply what they’ve learned. Whether it’s through journaling, prayer, or intentional rest, these exercises are grounding and offer a gentle way forward, reminding us that true peace comes from surrender, not striving.

One of my favorite moments was when she said, "God never asked us to do it all. He simply asks us to trust Him with all." This resonates with the powerful reminder from Matthew 11:28: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Alyssa echoes this biblical promise, inviting us to find rest in God's presence rather than the endless cycle of doing more.

This book will be a comforting companion, reminding you that you are enough just as you are. It’s a must-read for any woman seeking spiritual renewal and practical ways to release the pressure of this climate you are facing.

[Rochelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

I have never heard of Alyssa Joy Bethke before, but as soon as I read the title, I knew this was a book I had to read. I was not wrong. This book was just what I needed to read at this time in my life. It was encouraging, uplifting, convicting, and part warning. Warning that if you don't slow down and start taking care of your heart you will unravel, or unravel further.

Alyssa was honest, open and raw in sharing her experiences. I saw myself reflected in so many of her stories. I felt like Alyssa was a friend, imparting her wisdom, like so many of her friends had done for her. Alyssa gives you permission to let go of expectations, the rushed life, to take off the mask and take care of your heart. This is what I really needed: permission to take care of my heart. I honestly don't think anyone had ever given me permission to take care of my own heart. It's all about doing; doing for others, for the husband, for the kids, for the ministry, for God. But it's not about what you do for God, but being with God. Being honest and real with God. There was not a chapter that I could not relate to.

This world will try and convince you that you can do it all. That being rushed and busy is normal. But it doesn't have to be that way. Alyssa offers a different way. A way all of us need. The best way. Prioritizing what really matters in light of eternity so we can live with peace and joy in this life - no matter what our circumstances are.

Whether you are unravelling, have unraveled, or want to prevent yourself from unravelling, this book is for you. I highly recommend it.

*Free copy provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[Andrew · Rating 5 out of 5]

In When Doing It All Is Undoing You, Alyssa Joy Bethke explains how she came undone and how God put her back together. She was able to obtain her peace back. She begins by sharing how women tend to neglect their hearts, they try and earn our hearts, and we lost our hearts. She breaks each down into different sections and ending with how we need to have a full heart. God wants us to live with our whole selves: mind, heart, and body. She touched on discussing on what things she has control over. She can captive her thoughts, set boundaries, control her words, her behavior, choices, expressing her feelings, and setting her goals. Things she can’t control is the future, other people’s, past, and the weather. She encouraged readers to pray about one thing that we have been trying to control without God assistance and ask three of our friends to pray with us about this issue for 30 days. Another powerful section was the one that discussed what if and how we need to grab a piece of paper and write down all of our doubts. We can use this method to work through our fears. These can include what if I never marry, if I’m never close again to my parents, if my autoimmunity disease never changes, and much more. These are just some of her what ifs.


I would recommend this book to women and they feel like they are always busy doing for others and in the process neglecting their own hearts. She walks readers on how to rediscover the fullness of your heart and to allow God to put you back together again. This book is an excellent read about surrendering and to keep coming back again and again with all of our concerns and this will teach us to trust Him more.

[Megan Sanzone · Rating 5 out of 5]

“When Doing It All is Undoing You” is another beautifully written book by one of my favorite authors, Alyssa Bethke. I clung to each chapter and read most with tears in my eyes as I personally related to so many of her experiences shared. Her words are so genuine, honest, and relatable and I felt like I was getting such wise and impactful advice from a close friend. I appreciate that she not only delves into issues so many women face (stress, burnout, trying to control what’s not in our control, living with unmet expectations, etc) but also how to handle them and why it’s so important. I’m so thankful that throughout the book, Alyssa walks us through helpful examples of how to untangle our hearts so we can pause and allow God to deal with what we’re facing, reminding us to trust Him throughout the process and not continue to push them aside or brush our problems under the rug. Alyssa reminds us that we can still have hope, joy, and peace with God despite what we are facing. I also found the Spiritual Practices at the end of each chapter to be such a valuable tool to guide in how to allow God to transform our lives. This book is such a gift and I highly recommend it, especially those in need of a renewed hope in Christ despite the many struggles and hurts we face this side of Heaven.

[Catherine Posner · Rating 5 out of 5]

If there's one author that I will read every book they write, it would be Alyssa Joy Bethke! This book spoke straight to my heart and made me feel seen as a wife, mom, daughter, friend who strives to do all the things for everyone I care about. This book is like sipping hot tea on a cold winter day, it's like fresh air to a weary traveler. I think I highlighted the entire book with things I want to remember or to put into practice! One section in the book talks about dealing with disappointments and here's one quote I loved which said,

"Our lives are so much more than looking like a beautiful Pinterest ad. They are so much more than what we can boast about on IG. What matters is what's going on inside our home, not what it looks like. What matters is if we radiate the love of Jesus, if we celebrate our people well, if we care for our bodies and move them, if we say yes to the tasks Jesus gives us each day regardless of what they look like on paper. What matters is if we can truly receive our lives with joy and hope, whatever season we are in."

Get this book if you are a woman in search of a kindred spirit to pour biblical encouragement into your empty cup so you can grow into a more healed and whole person by God's grace!

[Evelyn Faith Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Alyssa Joy Bethke writes authentically and compassionately in “When Doing It All is Undoing You; Meeting God in Your Unmet Expectations.” This book is a guide for women with dreams, with fears, with hearts longing for more, feeling frazzled, trying to control outcomes, trying to manage feelings, ultimately trying so hard to keep it together for everyone in her life. One of my many favorite quotes from this book: “What if God doesn’t want us to hold it all together? … He wants your heart to be fully alive. His glory in you and His glory pouring out of you.” Within the pages of this book Alyssa shares vulnerably, acknowledges deep disappointment, digs deep into scripture, and invites us to become who we were created to be - fully alive drawing near to God.

The audio book is a delightful listen narrated by Alyssa Joy Bethke. The printed book is beautiful and will be one I return to often as I annotate the pages and interact with the text. This is also a book I have already shared with family and friends and will be giving copies as gifts because of how much I loved this book.

[Lacey Pope · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a 39-year-old wife and mother of three, I often find myself feeling overwhelmed by the constant pressure to ensure my family’s happiness and smooth functioning. Alyssa Joy Bethke’s When Doing It All Is Undoing You resonated deeply with me, offering both solace and practical guidance.

One of the most impactful aspects of the book is Bethke’s emphasis on distinguishing between what is within our control and what is not. She encourages readers to let go of the unrealistic expectations we often place on ourselves and to find peace in accepting that some things are beyond our control. This perspective shift has been something I’ve been focusing on during this journey, and I hope it will be liberating for me and help me to focus on what truly matters and to let go of the rest.

The spiritual insights in the book are another highlight. Bethke’s faith-based approach provides a comforting reminder that we are not alone in our struggles. She emphasizes the importance of drawing near to God and finding our joy and contentment in Him, rather than in our circumstances.

[Reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alyssa Bethke’s When Doing It All Is Undoing You is a heartfelt and relatable guide for women feeling overwhelmed by life’s endless demands. Bethke writes with honesty and vulnerability, sharing her own struggles with balancing motherhood, relationships, and faith. Her personal stories create a sense of comfort, making readers feel less alone in their challenges. In her raw honesty, readers will find themselves nodding along, knowing they’re not alone in their feelings of inadequacy.

What sets this book apart is its grounding in faith. Bethke offers spiritual wisdom rooted in biblical principles, encouraging readers to let go of perfectionism, embrace rest, and trust in God's grace. Her message is clear: our worth isn’t defined by doing it all but by who we are in Christ.

Bethke’s insights are both encouraging and refreshing, reminding us that it's necessary to slow down and focus on tending to our heart. This message resonates deeply in a culture that glorifies busyness and hustle. Highly recommend!

[Jessica M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is radically shifting how I view my heart! I have read it and now am listening to it, and feel like my heart is being seen for the first time!! The author has finally given me words to help me wrap my head around the constant struggle I seem to find myself in, struggling to keep up, stay afloat, and hold it all together. As I read through the chapters, it was as if I was seeing parts of myself I thought were lost, and with each chapter, fresh hope poured into each of these parts, breathing in the truth that God’s design for us is so different than the striving and straining we all seem to cling to, especially as women. My favorite parts were the “Spiritual Practice” sections at the end of each chapter. I highly recommend keeping a journal to unpack each of these prompts. I found these sections to be so powerful in connecting the insight my head was gathering with the deep “soul work” my heart was experiencing in each chapter.

This is definitely a must-read and will be a gift I pass on to all the women in my circle!!

[Marie Gilkerson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything Alyssa writes and this book did not disappoint. Alyssa writes like she is a close friend sitting next to you at a coffee shop pouring her heart out and encouraging readers on their own journey. She makes you feel like you are not alone. I have been searching for a while for a book like this to meet me where I am in my current season of life in motherhood and marriage. There’s so much pressure in today’s society to be and do it all and to make it look so easy. I often wonder how women before me did it all and then had energy to continue. It’s exhausting. This book was such an incredible remainder of Who I needed to look to restore my soul and find my value. You will not be disappointed when reading this book. It will be a staple for years to come to look back upon and read again to be reminded and recentered. Thanks Alyssa for putting our incredible books into the world.

[Kailyn Dearing · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book feels so timely and it’s a much needed reminder for the heart and soul. Alyssa feels like a big sister, giving you a hug and holding your hand while you step into the hard, necessary work of letting the Lord tend to your heart. Alyssa has shared that she hopes this book will “feel like you are being held, known, seen, and covered.” And it does! I told my friend about her book the other day and said exactly that. I feel like Alyssa knows me and sees me based on the words written on these pages. She’s the brave one who went first and allowed the Lord to tend to her heart, and she so graciously walks you through the process of surrendering to the Lord and taking back our rightful place of resting at His feet, not fretting about all the things on our to-do lists or things we feel responsible for. This book feels like an exhale for my soul, and I truly recommend it as the next book you put into your hands!

[Cindy Melo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a gem, I am not a writer and often can be a hot mess when trying to describe my feeling or thoughts. Alyssa's words literally describe moments of being "undone" that are completely relatable. There are so many parts that are places I have been and she's gives such practical and truth to how to move forward and seek God. Her Spirital practice questions at the end of the chapters are so helpful to process your own pain and thoughts. Such a gift on how to handle your struggle verses stuffing all the hurt. There are so many nuggets and well said parts that I want to highlight. The book is divided into 4 sections or steps of how our heart is doing and how to regain our heart. I will also add that Alyssa is the narrator of the audio book too. Listening to her literally feels like a kind friend helping and mentoring you. I would almost suggest listening and following along in the book, so you can mark the amazing nuggets you want to re-read and reflect on.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had no idea how much I needed this book at this very moment. I just had my second baby and the newborn stage while homeschooling a 4-year-old + all of the other things of life, I had no idea that "undone" was how I was feeling, and that it was indeed a heart issue. There weren't enough to-do lists, a good enough planning app, a new planner, or a 5 step formula that could help me get it together. I needed to surrender and come to the end of myself completely to let God put me back together. I can't thank Alyssa enough for her vulnerability, reliability, and honesty in this book. The message is timely for women; you will feel encouraged, seen, loved, and cared for when reading each page. It's an incredibly enjoyable listen as an audiobook, but the physical copy is absolutely gorgeous and an easy-to-read, hard-to-put-down treasure of a book.

[Hannah Rutledge · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was the deep sigh I didn’t know my heart needed. I recently graduated nursing school and for the last 2 years have worked full time and been in school full time. I have found myself struggling to reconnect with my family and also with myself and this book came at just the right time. It served as a good reminder that we can’t do it all and God doesn’t ask us to. Alyssa offers examples of how she has struggled in her own life and what has worked for her along this journey. The book serves as a reminder that God is the one in control and he cares for us and our hearts. We don’t have to do it all and we can be present and trust God to handle the rest. It’s a book you will want to underline, highlight and write in the margins in and will be one that I revisit and read over and over again.

[LaRee Boring · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sweet reminder of God's presence and encouragement for women in the thick of motherhood and ministry.

Although there was nothing completely new or earth-shattering for me in this book, I really appreciated how it came to me with sweet reminders of God's faithfulness and heart during the tough times. I related to Alyssa with her parenting and relational struggles, but struggled to find a lot of the in-between text relatable as she discussed living on Maui and having a lot of privileges that the average woman does not have. I am also hesitant with the direct support/adoration shown in the book for secular artists who are not honoring the Lord.

I adore Alyssa's sweet heart and passion for the Lord. I believe this is an uplifting book for new believers in the thick of it. I am simply left wanting more.

[Heather Martinez · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book, When Doing It All Is Undoing You, couldn’t have come at a better season in my life. Alyssa Bethke has such a special gift from the Lord, to help women remember whose they are. If we are honest we can see the pressures of the world and expectations we place on ourselves get in the way of what God truly wants for us. Alyssa does an amazing job reminding us that it’s okay to slow down let our hearts accept and rest in Jesus, His plan and purpose.

I especially love the spiritual practice at the end of each chapter. Thank you Alyssa for being so beautifully vulnerable and to help others in their walk with Jesus. Acknowledgment of how the Lord works in us and through us for the good He has envisioned, reminds me of who’s in control always. Turning our hearts towards God is needed.

[Emily Tinnel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Alyssa Bethke’s writing makes you feel like she is sitting across the table from you, talking to you like you are her dearest friend. Her writing is vulnerable and real, so eas to read, and her love for Jesus oozes off the page. This book is so relevant in a time where it’s easy to get lost in the to do lists, the next project, and in trying to keep up with all the noise on our phones. It’s relevant to moms, to wives, single people (honestly to everyone). Alyssa has a way of speaking truth and reminding you of all Jesus has done, how to find rest in him, and how to find him in the mundane. She looks at the heart and tells me what I so often need to hear: to let go of control and find my joy. This book is such an easy read, yet so encouraging. I am recommending it to all my friends.

[Lauren Jurczyszyn]

feels appropriate to finish this on easter sunday. walking with the lord lately has been hard — virtually nonexistent. a sweet friend pushed to read this book together and after 4 meetings and 2 failed attempts, we put this journey on pause for the holiday season and never picked it back up. but slowly i kept finding myself coming back to it. i’m stubborn and hate to dnf anything. i believe i was meant to finish it now, in this transitionary season of life where things are changing and struggles feel more burdensome. to be reminded that joy is not a feeling but a person and that expectations, while sometimes good, often lead me to a path of control and false comforts. my copy of this book is well loved, well written in, and beaten up. it’s a visual testament to my journey through alyssa’s words.

[Mhughessc · Rating 3 out of 5]

Alyssa Joy Bethke's newest book, "When Doing It All Is Undoing You: Meeting God in Your Unmet Expectations", is a fantastic book for anyone who feels overwhelmed by everything on their plate. Bethke says that we usually fall into a pattern like this: neglecting our hearts, trying to earn our hearts, and ultimately losing heart. Instead, through this book, she wants us to live with fullness of heart. Each chapter is filled with Scripture passages and practical advice, and ends with a spiritual practice.

While the topic of this book is one that has inspired hundreds of books, there was still something new to be learned from Bethke's writing. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. All opinions are my own.

[Kailee Schnepf · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is such a companion for women of all ages and stages who feel stuck, tangled up, or overwhelmed by the expectations we can adopt for ourselves or by the disappointments we’ve experienced. It is filled with stories, spiritual practices that helped me connect with the Lord again from right where I’m at, and truth that is a refreshing reminder when so often I feel crushed by the expectations I take to heart from aspects of our culture. This will be a book I come back to time and time again when I need to remember what is true & find help in the process of connecting my heart to the Lord “at my end.” I listened to the audio book version and even took notes, but I know that when I receive my physical copy of this book, much of it will be underlined - this book is such a gift!

[Gracie Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

"When Doing It All Is Undoing You" is the book I needed to read at this moment in my life. After a stressful summer of moving to a new state and leaving friends, my job and the only house our kids knew, had left me emotionally spent. I was trying so hard to build an amazing, perfect new life for my family and after reading this book, I realized how much of a toil the "emotional labor" of trying to keep everyone in my house happy with our new life was taking. What I love most about this book was that it didn't try to tell me I needed to hustle more, try out a new organizational system, declutter, etc. I needed to turn to Jesus, get my heart in order and find the beauty in the moment I was in. I listened to the audiobook and it was like getting great advice from a close friend.