No soy un monstruo: La historia de un chico gay

by Kazuki Minamoto

Bullied for being gay, teenager Takashi Arashiro wishes he could just be somebody else-but who could predict he’d morph into a giant-headed sci-fi creature?! Takashi’s tumultuous emotions become the catalyst for personal and social exploration of the LGBTQ experience in this quirky, profound manga from prolific BL author Kazuki Minamoto.

Genres: Manga, LGBT, Queer, Fantasy, Comics, Graphic Novels, Drama

264 pages, Paperback

Published April 4, 2024

Reviews

[diana · Rating 2 out of 5]

hmmmmm

there were some odd moments in this that i did not like.

cw for sexual assault (that we're supposed to find empowering?? funny??!? idk.)

2/5 stars

[Rod Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

A goofy and heavy-handed visual metaphor actually works quite well in this moving story about coming out and seeking acceptance in the face of relentless homophobia and bullying.

[Bea Ramón Iglesias · Rating 3 out of 5]

La idea está bien pensada. Aunque a veces se hace un poco simple.

Me gustó su mensaje de autodescubrirnos y aceptarnos tal y como somos 😊

[Katarzyna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked it, but for me some parts were just suuuuuper oversimplified...like just because you go "The most important thing is to accept yourself" doesn't mean you're going to accept yourself right away like XD Also some parts were just so unserious i swear...I hate the homophobic guy, not because he's homophobic but because his character doesn't even make sense. He's super nice and trying to help the MC, bringing him to the hospital etc etc but no he will never accept him because he's homophobic like please show don't tell ? And when he says he'll try to change I'm sorry but this is not how this shit goes irl please...and the last scene ??? that was so random. And the ending too like "okay guys i'm gonna move back into my hometown 'cause i have a friend there but i still won't come out even though I 'accepted myself'" Okay so i guess we're just back to square one thanks

[Suppi · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up, the metaphor is pretty obvious but looking at thw title that's clearly very intentional. I know rhe message is anyone can change and learn and such but man you also gotta remember that some people are irredeemable fake assholes like //SPOILERS// the teach <3 fuck that guy

[Joseph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had to read this because the title is so great.

A nice little manga about coming to terms with your personal identity/sexuality. It's very YA but also a little more nuanced than I was expecting. I'd love to see more manga by this author brought over stateside.

[June · Rating 3 out of 5]

I struggle to rate this manga because there’s a lot about it that I love, but there’s some deeply problematic content in it as well. Coming out can change how someone sees you and you have to cope with that, just like you would if you turned into a literal monster. It also touches on external and internalized homophobia and the cycle of violence that comes with bullying.

However, I was disappointed by the unnecessary inclusion of sexual assault in this story. A student (minor) assaults a teacher (adult) and a student assaults another student. This creates a deeply damaging image of gay people being dangerous sexual beings because they’re being depicted as violating unwilling straight victims. The story would have been much stronger without these inclusions because the metaphor of being gay and being viewed/treated as a monster even though you’re the same person as before is fantastic.

[Bill Hsu · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not quite a YA bizarro blowout, but it eventually settled into multiple cliched queer YA self-affirmation moments that seemed rather confused and unconvincing.

[Alex Richey · Rating 1 out of 5]

This could have been a great story without the sexual assault scenes. They didn’t even add anything to the story. Ugh.

[L. Luck]

I so so so SO want to give this book a high rating. It did so many things right and thoughtfully. I honestly would probably give it 5 stars, but there are 3 pages in which the main character sexually assaults/gropes his teacher. Yes, the teacher is homophobic, and he’s making a point. Yes, it’s getting at his thing at the start where, because he’s physically become a monster, he decides to act like a monster. But that doesn’t make it right. And it’s never addressed again. He even later realizes that he can’t stand hurting people with physical violence, and neither he or the teacher connect it to the sexual assault. Literally, it could be taken out, and the whole book would be better for it and completely unaffected.

I’M LITERALLY SO FRUSTRATED BECAUSE SO MUCH WAS SO THOUGHTFUL!! The homophobic teacher not being redeemed and instead, because of his bigotry, continuing to cause others to suffer in the same way. The main character realizing he doesn’t really need his homophobic teacher to swap teams nor accept him, just that he needs him to shut up if he’s going to fake that “love the sinner but not the sin” shit. LIAM GETTING A GOOD ENDING!! I literally had essays written in my mind about all they got right. All the good in it, but there just had to be a SA scene. ARGH.

Rating: no rating

Warnings for SA (groping genitals over clothes), suicidal thoughts and attempts, homophobia, gender dysphoria, severe bullying, sexism, colorism (but not really?), blood/violence, brief imagined gore (not super graphic)

[Zian B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a rather unique manga to say the least. It had a unique take on what struggling with self-hatred and suicidal thoughts, as well as not agreeing with society’s view on gender and sexuality, can do to a person’s mental state.
I don’t agree with everything that Arashiro did, but I also can understand why he did some of his slightly more vengeful actions. While I liked that the story didn’t have the teacher suddenly change his prejudices, I would’ve liked seeing something happen to him in the form of negative karma. Also, I was surprised that Arashiro’s bully got more character development than Arashiro himself.
I’m almost more curious about the bully’s journey going forward than the fact that this manga volume has an open-ended ending/cliffhanger, that left the potential for more stories.

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is such a weird read, which to be fair I had already assumed from the title. But the weirdness is more the tone, as I'm not sure who the intended audience is, and whether this is supposed to be a drama with comedic elements or a comedy with dramatic elements.

The metaphor is pretty on the nose, which makes me assume it's for a younger audience but then there's a small amount of sexualised content that makes me think it's for older teens and adults.

So while it's a weird story I did enjoy it, I like the overall message around accepting and loving yourself, I sympathised with the main character and enjoyed the art.

[任煦涵 · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up thinking it would be comedic but in reality it touched on so many societal issues with gender and sexuality. It felt like it was a love note to accepting yourself regardless of your gender or sexuality. That even if others don’t accept you, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. This is a message that still touched me despite my coming to terms with my own sexuality. I really enjoyed it.

[marcia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not exactly groundbreaking: you can guess how the story is gonna go just from the title. However, I appreciate how nuanced the characters are, especially Arashiro. I also like how the teacher never really learns his lesson and ends the story just as terrible as he starts out. That keeps the story from being more cliche than it already is.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting idea, but there was one chapter in particular (that those who have read this book know very well) that I hated. Super gross. Otherwise I really enjoyed it.

[Maria Lago · Rating 3 out of 5]

Analogía ramplona, pero efectiva. Podríamos llamarlo Empatía 101.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars
This story was heartbreaking and funny, and crazy in the best way 😆
I had to deduct half a star for the casual assault/groping in the beginning, but other than that it had a really great message. It's important to love yourself first and foremost. Don't define yourself by other people's opinions.

[jude · Rating 4 out of 5]

what a weird little book

[Adam Stone · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you're the type of person who loves melodramatic metaphors being used as literally as possible, who loves when the impossible mythical part of the story is equally as credible as the interpersonal relationships and dialogue in a story, then this might be Your New Five Star Best Friend.

A high school kid who is queer and is bullied (but points out repeatedly that he isn't bullied because he's gay but because he's "an easy target") finds out the teacher he has a crush on is prejudiced against queer men. This, plus the bullying situation makes him depressed, and he turns into a Kaiju.

It's not like The Hulk, there aren't times when he is a kaiju, and times when he isn't. He's a kaiju now. It's like becoming a mutant in the Marvel Universe.

It's an interesting premise, but there is a creepy sexual tension between him and his teacher post-Kaijuing, and the writing is Kaiju Level Over The Top.

I didn't enjoy it, but I understand how and why others might. Despite one moderately overt groping scene, I would say this should appeal more to middle school students than older teens or adults.

[Owen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Love the premise and I enjoyed the setup to its conclusion. I thought it was pretty creative. However, this must be addressed, that casual groping to your teacher was unnecessary. Why does that have to be there, that seriously took me out

Looking back, the cover art gives away the ending

[Sheila · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐ Me ha gustado mucho el mensaje que intenta transmitir sobre la importancia de aceptarse a uno mismo, pero tengo que admitir que algunas escenas me han parecido un tanto raras, creepy la verdad. Aún así lo he disfrutado

[Curious Madra · Rating 3 out of 5]

We basically see a struggling student Takashi who is constantly bullied in school and thanks to his homophobic teacher Kuroa-sensei, his head automatically turns into a goofy dragon head. You see in this story, peoples heads turn into “The Flintstones”-like dinosaur heads when the persons family does not accept them for who they are. I liked the fact it featured a trans man experiencing rejection, I wish they could’ve expanded more on his story.

As a result of the story's rapid speed, I was unable to understand why Takashi and Kuroa did not end up together at all. It was like after declaring their love for one another, Takashi just yeeted back to his old hometown where he ran into his childhood friend once more. It just seemed like the author played a uno reverse card here. I also didn’t like the fact Takashi literally groped Kuroa just because he was homophobic, it shouldn’t have needed to be there and it was brushed off as if it was nothing. That really rubbed me the wrong way like you would be rooting for Takashi to get better but when you do something like that, it puts me off rooting for him again.

Interesting idea of a plot and art was pretty neat but I wouldn’t call this the greatest LGBT+ story to recommend out there….

[Hanna (musteen.jaljet) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Välillä hyvin outo metaforinen kuvaus homoudesta sekä itsenä hyväksymisestä. Tarinan lähtötilanne on kiinnostava, sillä päähahmo on muuttunut kaijuksi eli hirviöksi, koska haluaa olla joku muu. Minamoto avaa hyvin avoimesti seksuaali- ja sukupuolivähemmistöjen kohtaamaa vihaa ja kaltoinkohtelua. Itsetuhoisuutta myös sivuutetaan, mutta mangaka tekee sen melko kevyellä otteella joka toisaalta tekee tarinan huomattavasti kevyemmäksi ja taas toisaalta lukijana olisi kaivannut parempaakin syventymistä aiheeseen. Tarinalla on myös vähän outoja hetkiä esim alun ahdistelukohtaus joka vaan sivuutetaan eikä hahmojen käytös muutu sen mukaan. Hahmojen persoonallisuudet tuntuvat vaihtuvan sen mukaan mistä tuuli puhaltaa, mutta tämä voidaan myös tulkita metaforaksi nuoruuden ailahtelulle ja vaikeudelle. Kymmenen luvun pituinen tarina on mangakan ensimmäinen, joka hieman näkyy tarinan epäjohdonmukaisuudessa. Tarinan idea ja sanoma on kuitenkin loistava vaikka toteutus olisi kaivannut hiomista

[ℂ ✧ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un còmic d'un sol volum en què, al més pur estil de conte de fantasia, un noi es converteix en un monstre quan el professor a qui tant admirava i estimava rebutja ben despectivament l'homosexualitat. Amb molt d'enginy i un argot juvenil molt encertat aquest manga ens fa reflexionar sobre els prejudicis, les pressions familiars, l'homofòbia interioritzada i l'autoestima durant l'adolescència. M'ha sorprès positivament tot i que el final és un pèl precipitat i "Disney", en el sentit que gira full sense gaires miraments a tota la situació d'assetjament i a la discriminació del professor, que sembla que no n'aprèn (no hi ha l'esperada justícia poètica).

[Sol · Rating 4 out of 5]

God damn this made me so emotional.

As a queer person this story really resonated with me. When I was in middle school and grappling with my gender and sexuality, I swear... I wanted to be anything other than human. I distinctively remeber thinking stuff like that - "I'm not human". Anything inhuman touched me deeply, because I could look at it and go: you're like me. You're not 'normal'. You don't get a 'normal' life. When you grow up like that -- living and seeing yourself as an outsider -- it makes you so bitter. You've been burned so many times by intolerant people and an intolerant society that you can't trust anyone to accept you. To the point where you kind of hate everyone around you, and yourself, too. It's just torturous, especially in those younger years where you're still trying to figure things out and you're changing in so many ways in the first place.

So this was a story that I just... got. The bitterness, the anger, the sadism, the lashing out. No one accepts you, but the person who accepts you the least is yourself. At the end of the day, you WISH you could be the 'normal' person they want to see, but it's not possible, and all you can do is hate yourself for it, hate them, hate the world and society, and everything. It's like the most horrible thing ever, and I felt like this manga portrayed it so accurately.

The person whose acceptance and love you need the most is your own. You should always be your own #1 supporter. It hurts when people reject and cause you pain, but there is only one, beautiful you, and you should always treasure it and defend your own heart. Many people may reject you, but in your future, you'll find the people who will love you so much, and accept and understand you so deeply, that they'll make you say "I'm glad to be alive, I'm glad I was born". Eventually all of those strife-filled times will seem like a far-off memory.

I'm in a much better place now. My parents have accepted me and I'm out everywhere I go. I have friends who love me and will accept me as I am, even as I'm still figuring it all out in my mid-20s. I'm a constant, beautiful work in progress. I'm glad I'm me, because no one else's grass is really greener, and the opinions of small-minded people who don't matter will always pale in comparison to the warm, shining love from friends and family, and the self-love that comes from within your heart.

Anyways... I rambled a lot. All of this is to say, even though this manga may seem distasteful at parts, I feel like it resembled the absolute ugliness that can be growing up queer for me. I can only speak for my own experience, and for me... this just really hit it on the head. I wish I had had this when I was younger and constantly wondering if my existence was some kind of mistake. But reading it now as an adult, I feel like I can look back on my experience with fondness and understanding, like the character of Liam in the story (who I related to a lot). Just a really special and poignant queer manga, in my opinion.

[Emi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uno de esos que estaría bien que se leyeran en los institutos.
Al protagonista se le viene el mundo encima cuando oye decir al profesor del que está enamorado, que los gays le dan asco. En ese momento, su cabeza se transforma en una de monstruo. Me ha gustado como representa los sentimientos del prota y me parece una metáfora muy buena de lo que puede sentir una persona en esa situación.

[Bee Powers · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the concept of this story, I thought the cover was absolutely ridiculous too and a big part of what drew me in in the first place, but the execution wasn't great and sexually harassing your bullies isn't it. 😬

[Andrew Eder · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was FUN! Silly and endearing. I really wish there were more volumes of this and could follow more people turning? Really fun story and I loved the art of the Kaijus!!

[fairy._diary]

Może kiedyś do tego wrócę, bo wydaje sie luźną i silly historią
Jestem teraz jednak zbyt zagłębiona w historię chińskich typkow🤭

[Ariel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked the weird premise and the bully's character development, but there was a random SA scene and I think the MC was somewhat underdeveloped.