Will You Die for Me?

by Charles Tex Watson, Chaplain Ray Hoekstra (Editor)

"Will you die for me?" asked Charlie Manson. Once all-American hometown boy, Charles "Tex" Watson answered "Yes" and thus became hopelessly caught in the dizzying downward spiral into the Manson family and into the brutal role of Helter-Skelter executioner. Finally, on the verge of insanity, Tex Watson found release from the drugs, the sex, the violence, and the mindlessness of his past. Here is his personal story-both of the Manson madness and of his new life in Christ.

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction, Crime, Memoir, Biography, Cults, Mystery

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1978

Reviews

[Lee Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

My husband saw me reading this and asked, "What more could you possibly learn about the Manson Family?" which illustrates how many books I have read on the subject. But I actually learned quite a bit from this book, one of only two first-person accounts of life inside the Family (the other being Susan Atkins' Child of Satan, Child of God--I don't count Manson in His Own Words, since that's an "as told to"). Day-to-day life at Spahn Ranch is well detailed here, as is a great bit of background about the connection between Manson and Beach Boy Dennis Wilson and record producer (and son of Doris Day) Terry Melcher, former resident of the fateful house on Cielo Drive.

Tex Watson comes across as an average person. He's not too bright, but not particularly dumb; he was an athlete but no superstar in school; after some mild fraternity hijinks in college, he started screwing up, then took off for California, and the rest is history.

I found his account of the murders chilling, and maybe a little disingenuous--was he really so dead inside from Charlie's brainwashing and all the drugs that he disengaged from the whole thing? More cause for doubt is his account of the mental breakdown and religious conversion he experienced while awaiting extradition and trial. He attempts a convincing argument that while in jail, detoxing and alone, he came back to himself and began to realize the horror of what he'd done. That would make anyone a little crazy, so I don't know if he was faking (as prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi believed) or not. As for his finding Jesus, he has been leading a religious life for the 30-plus years since this book was written. The last part of the book is very, very full of the zealotry of the recent convert.

This book is a necessary addition to any Manson (What's the word I want here? It's not "fan's" or "afficionado's"--historian's, maybe?) library.

[Jeremy Kitchen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Manson killer who was born again in jail lies a lot.

[Koeeoaddi · Rating 2 out of 5]

So, our hero traded Mansonism for Christianity, had four kids conceived via conjugal visits, found some measure of peace and meaning and went on with his life [on the inside]. Meanwhile, the seven people he murdered are still, well, ...dead.

One star above 'terrible' for the insider's peak into "The Family", though not enough new information or insight to make this really worth reading. The final Jailhouse Religion chapter and the glowing epilogue from his pastor (and ghost writer) were eminently skippable.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book on the Tate/LaBianca murders.Skip the last chapter "To Live Is Christ" Tex gets all god squad with Chaplin Ray

[Ashlei A.K.A Chyna Doll · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am one of the few that feel "there's a Reason for everything" I do not think what he did should be forgotten nor forgiven, at no gain to himself he tells the story of what would become that fateful year 1969.
He went from all American small town Texas boy - To close association to "Americas Most Dangerous Man".....

It was sad to me in a way that WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE... Teenage years wondering is this it, I have always seen "commune life" as a Paradise, (but people get greedy or let power go to there heads and ruin it..) self reliant, self sufficient, group loving, peaceful place!! What more could you want???
But we know now that it was a a very sick mans Con-game. But to these kids it was 100% REAL!!! The whole thing made sense and was helped along with drugs and group opinion..no one wants to be the "lame duck " (U.S. Military has done it forever!!, break you down and build you back up.) it's just Sick and Sad the whole mess,

I just feel sorry in a way I guess.
It's scary to think a old con who spent half his life in prisons already and he was given this platform to just beat, and break down these lids for the Family.
and because of all that 7 people are died....


I'm happy to be able to read this.. It really is a eye opening book!!
(Only a few like it..) **i downloaded a copy for free via his website...

[Bluerose · Rating 1 out of 5]

How often do killers write in detail about their crimes? My curiosity got the best of me and I was hoping to gain an insight into the events of that night. Did I gain insight? Yes however the arrogance of this man was too much for me and I stopped reading pretty quickly. Then again I’m not sure what I expected from a cold hearted killer?

I’m outraged that this man (if I can even call him this) can write over 100 pages detailing his truly hideous crimes and all the while make excuses for his actions (it was drugs, it was all Manson) and claim to be changed by God....as if any sane person reading would understand and be like “oh it’s okay Tex you are clearly changed so it’s okay you brutally killed multiple innocent people”.

He claims he felt nothing for any of the victims and at one point actually has the nerve to describe Sharon Tate as “the pathetic blonde women” as she begged for her life and that of her unborn baby...he then proceeds to stab her to death.

I’ll just let that set in for a second because yes he actually did write that.

At that point I honestly stopped reading due to outrage.

[Fishface · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall Fascinating

This is a re-release of Tex Watson's account of the Manson murders. The author comes across as pretty honest and forthcoming about his role in the killings, his attempts throw other Family members under the bus in the courtroom despite growing clarity about the horror of what he'd done and his own process of detaching himself from everything Charlie taught him. The book got almost painfully Christian from this point, but I get why a guy like him might find no other port in this particular kind of storm. His post-conversion insight into what makes Charlie tick is intriguing and he clearly believes it. This one is worth your time.

[Tracie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone whose fascination with the Manson case is unending, I had to read this book when it came up as a Kindle deal last week. Charles “Tex” Watson has always seemed like a cypher at the center of the story of the Family and the Tate-Labianca murders. I was prepared to find it preachy and self-serving, so it was a pleasant surprise that it was so straightforward and readable. Don’t get me wrong - I’m not especially moved by his conversion to Christianity and I don’t think he should ever get out of prison - but I find what he wrote about the experiences that lead him to follow Manson’s orders to slaughter seven people believable. He even acknowledges that he himself actually killed Sharon Tate even though conventional wisdom based on Susan Atkins’ attention-seeking testimony was that she had tormented and stabbed Tate herself.

Other reviews giving this book low ratings, accusing the author of lying, and complaining that he blames everything on Manson and drugs are interesting to me. I totally understand being angry and disgusted by Watson’s crimes, which were so brutal and senseless. I am guessing that a lot of people cannot not reconcile that a person could commit these kinds of acts in one state of mind and then come to understand what he has done and feel true remorse for it, perhaps believing only someone truly evil could do such evil things. But I think human beings are more complex that that, and it makes sense to me that this particular person, in this particular time and place, under the influence of a psychopath like Manson and LSD and amphetamines, could do what he did, and then away from those influences finally realize with horror what he had done.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to know all there is to know about the Family and their crimes. I did skim most of the final chapter detailing Watson’s spiritual awakening in prison but even that chapter held some interesting insights.

[Margot Friedman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was six years old at the time of the Manson murders, but, like many Americans, I have spent a lifetime wondering how ordinary college kids could be turned into brutal killers. This book finally answers that question with extraordinary honesty and rich detail. Either Tex Watson, or his co-author, is an incredible writer. It is written about the level of a young adult reader and you will not be able to put it down.

[Linda O'Dell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haunting and horrifying account of the "Family " and their murders. From one of the main participants.
Story of redemption in Christ how even a life as messed up as this can find freedom inside and out

[Aurora Dimitre · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was... it was interesting. It did get a little Jesus-y; I knew it was going to get Jesus-y because it is in part written by a chaplain, and I am not religious, and I tried really hard but I could not help but skim over the parts where he was talking about Jesus. But it's an interesting account. You can still see a little bit of Manson's programming in him when he's talking about Manson or the Family, it's kinda cool.

[William Marshall · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book because I've had a life long Fascination with the MANSON case but I didn't buy that this monster has found God
Satan will surely be waiting to greet him when he dies !

[Ashlei A.K.A Chyna Doll]

What can you really say about this book......

I was emailed a PDF version of the book from a friend(if you would call someone who gives you this a friend.... Lol) So I thought ok kool, I'll read it. WOW... First off he has a minister make excuses for him, HE MAKES EXCUSES THROUGHOUT THE BOOK!! But sugar coats it with "The Times, The Drugs, and The People" The only person I truly think he feels sorry or any guilt for is himself then his family for the EMBARRASSMENT he has caused. I honestly think this was a ploy to help his image, He talks about what a good kid a d good student he was, How well liked and he never was in trouble, He just got whipped up in the wrong crowd, let loose with drugs a little and things got out of hand, BUT HE IS CHANGED!!! He can not stress that enough. HE HAS LEARNED HIS LESSON. God I hope so! It's not like we all have not been kids growing up with peer pressure and drugs and alcohol *spoiler alert - WE DON'T MURDER A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND KILL A UNBORN BABY!!!! (I had read it came out a little before a BIG PAROLE DECISION!! ) The whole thing just reeks of no shame at all to me.. Like he thought people would read this an say "Well he is a Good ol Texas boy, It's been a long time lets see what can be done.
COMPLETELY LAUGHABLE!!!

Like Susan Atkins husband saying because she's dying of a brain tumor she deserves to be let free.. She's done her time she deserves to die with peace and dignity... Well she didn't give Sharon Tate a chance to save her baby. (Even after she begged) She flat out told her You are gonna die!!! They took pleasure in it!!!!
SICK SHIT

[Richard]

The Mansoniods like the Scientologists are the result of the positive thinking cult brought to one of its logical conclusions. After one objectifies one's self in order to manipulate the self and your environment, next it only follows that you objectify those around you or alternatively demonize them. the hamstrung results of the mind cure-positive thinking is this- all the "SUCCESS" is kind of bland and bourgeois - like a dr.faustus willy loman, and in the end the only real success of control is control itself- a tautological phantasm of self delusion. The dark night of the soul can be equated with sucking at business, but to equate enlightenment with success in business is the essence of madness itself if madness can be said to have an essence. therapy is not the same as transformation and just because things are similar doesn't mean they are the same.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yes, I've been an avid reader when it comes to Charles Manson and his "Family". I know that's wierd and enough of my friend's have told me so, but I think it's my love of horror that brings me back time and time again. This is horror, just true "horror".

This is the autobiography of Charles "Tex" Watson, who was among those who participated in the Tate/ Labianca murders in 1969. It's interesting to see his side of things, whether accurate or not. He completely takes responsibility for this actions and describes everything in detal. Of course, just like Susan Atkins, he claims to have found the Lord in jail. Whether this is true or not, is not for me to say. But if you are curious about this subject, this is definitely a book to read.

[Kristilyn Waite]

I will read any memoir or investigative piece on the family, and take something worthwhile from the experience.

Tex Watson seemed such an unlikely mark for Charles Manson, good looking (by society's standards), well adjusted, star athlete, etc, etc. So I was truly interested in hearing his reflections. Interesting enough, but nothing revelatory.

And then I can't decide if he or Susan Atkins is more insufferable with the Jesus stuff. I can imagine it does make it easier to live with yourself and the existential dread that comes with emergence from the delusional state in which the family collectively existed.

It just feels like there's kind of an agenda here.

I don't know. It's fine. I really just want to hear the Tex tapes.

[Kayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to give it five stars, I mean this was his representation of what happened, how could I give it less than that? It was a really brave thing for him to do, too, and I'm glad he did! If you're interested in Charlie Manson or the sociological aspects of cults and such you should read it! However, I'm aware that not many people are so... :)

[Cynthia Yu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting to hear from Tex on his experience and thoughts. However it is tough to swallow as I am disgusted by him and have zero sympathy. I waffled to give it a 3 or 4 star rating only based on getting a close up account of the events. Only read this if you are truly trying to piece together the psyche of the Manson Family. This guy is a monster.

[Reix · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't feel any pity for this man and there are no excuses in his writing for what he did.
And... now this man is a "spiritual" leader, an exemplar Christian 😂😂😂😂 The epilogue is totally skippable, and religions, as well as sects, stink... brainwashers

[Steve Wilson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting perspective but I find it impossible to take Watson's word at face value. Though a fairly detailed "tell all," it felt more like a pitch for redemption.

[Priya Dhillon · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an incredibly disturbing read, but not for the reasons that I expected.

Watson does a fine job of documenting his life prior to meeting Manson. He paints a relatively relatable portrait of a somewhat vagrant, aimless young person drifting from place to place, characterized by his sheer moldability (a particularly common phenomena in the '60s). The detail with which he recounts his life with Manson is noteworthy, and provides fascinating, albeit morbid insight into the lifestyle that the Family led.

While I was obviously horrified by his painfully thorough retelling of the spree killings (particularly the Tate murders), I was even more chilled by the sheer lack of remorse and accountability Watson demonstrated for the incredibly active role he played in the crimes. Even a near decade later, he prefers to place a comfortable amount of distance between the ugliness of one of the most notorious criminal cases in American history and himself, smothering it with vignettes depicting the rekindling of his Methodist faith.

As Manson himself put it: "It’s interesting that Sadie [Atkins] and Tex were the ones to find God. They were the most messed up. They were direct participants in the murders that destroyed our entire group [...]. They were the ones that yelled to the world that I controlled their minds. If they’ve truly turned their lives over to God, then good for them. If they’re following God like they followed me, with their own interests in mind, then God can’t be too proud.”

This is a perfectly informative read, particularly if you're interested in what led so many young people to charismatic cult leaders such as Manson in the late '60s, as well as Watson's early life, but I'd recommend jumping ship when it starts to get preachy.

[Hannah Edmonds · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't know how to feel about this book, written by Charles 'Tex' Watson of the Manson Family.

It was interesting to get a more in-depth look at life inside the Manson Family; their day-to-day life didn't seem to consist of very much though, besides some work and then hearing Manson eulogise and play his music. Then, there might be drugs and sex later on.

Watson also describes his childhood in Texas which sounds rather bland, but not unusual; his parents were methodists and there was some pressure on him to perform well at school and in sports, but certainly nothing that would obviously lead to him helping to murder seven innocent people.

He describes the nights of the murders in matter-of-fact detail, rarely letting emotions get the better of him. He also took responsibility for the murder of Sharon Tate, which had previously been believed to have been committed by Susan Atkins.

What I didn't like though was how preachy the last part of the book became as Watson, like many convicts found God. It is hard to take seriously the religious beliefs of a man capable of some of the most abhorrent murders the world has seen. He even admitted to feeling nothing for his victims, including heavily pregnant Sharon Tate at the time of the killings.

Why is it that God supposedly appears to murderers and rapists, but not their victims? That was the question I was left with as I ended the book with a feeling of disgust.

Watson never felt remorse; he was an intelligent, manipulative piece of shit who ended up having a pretty decent life where he was able to marry and father children. Even if he is never released from prison, he's been given far too much freedom in my opinion.

[Wayne D. · Rating 5 out of 5]

The reasons I rate this book 5 stars Are true & correct, within purview of 28, U.S.C.sec, 1746, etSeq...
Ca. State prisons back # B88203, not
Many B #,s left alive. I know I was there.1977-12/7/1980. spent all my Time in prison With, CHARLES D. WATSON.
I was convicted of Armed Robbery, nexus Harvey's Casino, which was bombed later. Bottom line, every word,
In the book Charles wrote is true. He baptizede I'm a prison laundering basket, In The Mighty Name of JESUS, See John 8:58, because if His Name is Allah, Allah kick his ass, An Allah be Watching you. We are still at war, read the book am fight with the weapons of our warefare, strapp it on Tight, Ephesians Chapter 6:- anon anon! Watch out, another word cometh for America, this is the time read and act, See the book of acts, eat it up. Why will you die?

[Deb · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can truly turn your life around

Charles Watson is proof. He has gone from drugged out, groupie murderer to true follower of Christ. He proved that even with all the bad in his life, even living in prison for the rest of his life, he could change himself and become a better person. He will continue to help fellow inmates in learning how to change their own lives, no matter what their crimes ,and bring about love where before there was nothing but blackness and pain.
I will continue to pray that he remains true to this path. Through his experience and his book, perhaps it will awaken others before it is too late.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Old book, but different POV.

The books written surrounding the Tate/LaBianca murders have been mostly focused on Manson and the women. This time Tex Watson has given his voice to the incident and it is very different from the others. From the way he was introduced to the Family by none other than Dennis Wilson himself, to his separation from the Family and his own trial. Both of which are always stated as an afterthought, because his trial was months later than the "big show" with Manson. Ok yes, his rediscovery of religion is cookie cutter, but not vital to his story. He is still in prison and will be there until he dies, which he has accepted.

[Brad Bevers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up at a small Christian school, but have always been a reader. When I ran out of books in the kids section, I started looking for interesting things in other sections. I came across this book (titled "Will You Die For Me?" then) and read it. I had never heard of the Manson murders, and this was a crazy account of how Tex Watson became involved in the family, and eventually became a Christian. Probably read this in fifth grade, which was way too young . . . but reread for the first time after finishing Chaos this month. Not an easy book to read, but still worth tracking down and seeing if its for you.

[Brooke Tallent · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don’t give this four stars because I like the book, nor do I believe the author at face value. The twisted morality is not only evident in the past story but how the author proceeded to fill his need to be a follower as a Christ follower. The sociopathy is shown near the end when he poses justification for the basis of the Manson cult. What inspired his addiction and insatiable need for cult behavior? To place the answer on God and the Devil shows how much he has not changed.

Bottom line: There is such a thing as right and wrong.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very interesting read. Having read many books in the subject, several from key players, it’s interesting seeing how different the story plays out. I feel like Tex was pretty straight forward in his accounts of his actions. He might be the most truthful, he admits to killing everyone at the Tate house. Most of the key players made up stories, Susan said she killed Sharon for prison clout then she changed her story when up for parole. Tex has never wavered from his admission of killing 5 innocent people that night.

[Raistlin Skelley]

Probably the most straight-forward telling of the Tate-LaBianca murders and the life inside the Family we'll ever get.

There is an ashamed honesty in Watson's text discussing life with Family and the various personalities of the members.

Though I do take his hardcore jailhouse conversion to Christianity as crocodile tears and a way to live with himself for the crimes he'd committed.

Watson was lost and lazy, like the rest of the Family, and wanted to not have to contribute and get whatever he wanted. This came at a price.

[Patricia Atkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book was interesting if you are interested in the manson family it was written in 1978 i have corresponded with charles and he has become a big help to me with his love for god my son has been asking him for advice on the bible charles has turned his life around and is changed from his days with manson and the family this book talks about his upbringing and how he met the manson family and what they were like this is his story that was released before as will you die for me