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The Xenophobe's Guide
Xenophobe's Guide to the Belgians
A guide to understanding the Belgians, best known for their fine chocolate, reveals a humorous and insightful view of the people. "Belgians like above all to be practical, solid. They stand square and conduct conversation from the base of the neck. Courteous behaviour is it is the natural product of right-mindedness. It is also that is how you get on in the world.""Belgians would be very happy indeed if all the world knew them to be good-natured, tolerant, individualistic, self-assertive, modest, moderate, and the embodiment of European ideals. This is a long-term project. Meanwhile being placed somewhere on the map of Europe will do."
92 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 1994
12 people are currently reading
125 people want to read
About the author
Antony Mason
142 books2 followersEighty books – seems a bit excessive, really, even to me. But this is the product of more than twenty years of writing. And I have to say that some authors in my field – illustrated non-fiction – have written twice, even three times, as many.
How did I get here? Well, I worked as an editor with a couple of small publishing companies in London for about ten years (1977–87), and then I turned freelance. Whenever any writing tasks were offered to me, I took them, and so gradually I made the conversion from editor to writer – although I still do both.
I think I always wanted to be a writer, penning short stories as a child. I also have an insatiable curiosity. This is how I’ve ended up in non-fiction, where my magpie instincts to investigate virtually any area of knowledge have served me well.
My primary skill – so I’m told – is to research a subject and then convert it into clear, accessible and engaging text for a general readership, or for children.
I also translate books from French, and write website content.
For a couple of years (2008–10) I was a tutor in writing at Goldsmiths, University of London, working as a Fellow of the Royal Literary Fund. Latterly I have been closely involved in the Intergenerational Foundation, which aims to remind government and policy-makers of the need to think for the long-term to ensure an honourable and sustainable legacy to future generations.
Since 2011 I have also been writing as the ‘Brussels expert’ for the Daily Telegraph and the Telegraph online travel website.
How did I get here? Well, I worked as an editor with a couple of small publishing companies in London for about ten years (1977–87), and then I turned freelance. Whenever any writing tasks were offered to me, I took them, and so gradually I made the conversion from editor to writer – although I still do both.
I think I always wanted to be a writer, penning short stories as a child. I also have an insatiable curiosity. This is how I’ve ended up in non-fiction, where my magpie instincts to investigate virtually any area of knowledge have served me well.
My primary skill – so I’m told – is to research a subject and then convert it into clear, accessible and engaging text for a general readership, or for children.
I also translate books from French, and write website content.
For a couple of years (2008–10) I was a tutor in writing at Goldsmiths, University of London, working as a Fellow of the Royal Literary Fund. Latterly I have been closely involved in the Intergenerational Foundation, which aims to remind government and policy-makers of the need to think for the long-term to ensure an honourable and sustainable legacy to future generations.
Since 2011 I have also been writing as the ‘Brussels expert’ for the Daily Telegraph and the Telegraph online travel website.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
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October 27, 2016I read The Xenophobe's Guide to the Belgians because I have to do an assignment on Belgian culture (or the lack thereof). Therefore, I won't rate it. It's completely different from what I usually read, which is fiction.
Some things were very relatable. I also see myself as Flemish in the first place, and then as Belgian. Just like most Belgians, I am down-to-earth. We certainly aren't big dreamers.
There were so many things I thought were universal, but are apparently typical for Belgians. Like the cabinets filled with prescription medication. Or the obligatory kisses at family gatherings. Oh, how much I hate those!
However, there were a couple of things I couldn't relate to at all:
He says Belgians often go to restaurants and rarely eat at home. And that we use our basements as recreational space. That's sounds rather American to me instead. Supermarkets are a big deal over here, because everyone prepares their meals at home. I've never lived in a house with a basement, so I might be wrong, but I don't know anyone who uses their basement for anything besides storage space.
The author compliments the railway stations' staff. Little does he know that one of Belgians' biggest complaints, is the railway system and how tardy trains always are.
Furthermore, he mentions how it's a tradition to go to the Midnight Mass on Christmas. I literally know no one who goes to the mass. Neither am I aware of any church nearby that does that.
Finally, I also spotted a mistake. According to the author, the Dutch use imported French words, whereas the Flemish do not. I live in the West of Flanders, and we use tons of French words, like vélo for bike, trottoir for sidewalk, coiffure for hairdresser... I could go on.
conclusion: The Xenophobe's Guide to the Belgians was fun, though not always accurate. I'm not sure whether I'd pick up a guide myself when travelling (there are guides for many different countries), but I do like the idea of confronting stereotypes.
Some things were very relatable. I also see myself as Flemish in the first place, and then as Belgian. Just like most Belgians, I am down-to-earth. We certainly aren't big dreamers.
There were so many things I thought were universal, but are apparently typical for Belgians. Like the cabinets filled with prescription medication. Or the obligatory kisses at family gatherings. Oh, how much I hate those!
However, there were a couple of things I couldn't relate to at all:
He says Belgians often go to restaurants and rarely eat at home. And that we use our basements as recreational space. That's sounds rather American to me instead. Supermarkets are a big deal over here, because everyone prepares their meals at home. I've never lived in a house with a basement, so I might be wrong, but I don't know anyone who uses their basement for anything besides storage space.
The author compliments the railway stations' staff. Little does he know that one of Belgians' biggest complaints, is the railway system and how tardy trains always are.
Furthermore, he mentions how it's a tradition to go to the Midnight Mass on Christmas. I literally know no one who goes to the mass. Neither am I aware of any church nearby that does that.
Finally, I also spotted a mistake. According to the author, the Dutch use imported French words, whereas the Flemish do not. I live in the West of Flanders, and we use tons of French words, like vélo for bike, trottoir for sidewalk, coiffure for hairdresser... I could go on.
conclusion: The Xenophobe's Guide to the Belgians was fun, though not always accurate. I'm not sure whether I'd pick up a guide myself when travelling (there are guides for many different countries), but I do like the idea of confronting stereotypes.
April 27, 2015
I was very intrigued to see an external point of view on Belgians, especially since I'm living here (and observing them) for about 2 years now.
First of all, it is a light and easy read, funny here and there. Handing it over to some Belgian friends, they have confirmed some of the traits.
If at first I could identify some of the presented habits, towards the end of the book I said to myself: "this guy has never lived in Belgium" (which turns out to be true in 'The Author' section). Married with a Belgian and coming here only for holidays it can be misleading so to say.
Stating that the railways is a "system of enviable efficiency" is a joke that any Belgian would laugh at. The railway system in Belgium has overthrown even the cloudy weather in terms of amount of complaints.
Moreover, in informal speech at least, every second sentence for a Fleming will contain an "allez". Therefore, it is rather questionable the statement that Dutch speakers avoid using at any costs French words and would rather speak English.
All in all, it is good to analyse another perspective than yours and to have another reference to compare your observations. Nevertheless, stay critical and keep in mind the author has never really lived among Belgians.
First of all, it is a light and easy read, funny here and there. Handing it over to some Belgian friends, they have confirmed some of the traits.
If at first I could identify some of the presented habits, towards the end of the book I said to myself: "this guy has never lived in Belgium" (which turns out to be true in 'The Author' section). Married with a Belgian and coming here only for holidays it can be misleading so to say.
Stating that the railways is a "system of enviable efficiency" is a joke that any Belgian would laugh at. The railway system in Belgium has overthrown even the cloudy weather in terms of amount of complaints.
Moreover, in informal speech at least, every second sentence for a Fleming will contain an "allez". Therefore, it is rather questionable the statement that Dutch speakers avoid using at any costs French words and would rather speak English.
All in all, it is good to analyse another perspective than yours and to have another reference to compare your observations. Nevertheless, stay critical and keep in mind the author has never really lived among Belgians.
October 3, 2017
As an expat become a Belgian who's been in this country for 16 years, it is always nice and refreshing to compare perspectives about this place which is conflicting and not easy to get, even for the natives. :) The book is fun to read, the cliches are easy to identify with and they put a smile on the face because hey, if you'd lived here, you'd know what Anthony is talking about. How one perceives a nation, especially an outsider is always interesting to read, and we can agree or disagree - perception is after all, a personal matter. But he mentions facts, numbers, statistics, along with his own view of the people. And I have found out new things by reading him. Small book, small country. Big debate. :)
January 14, 2009
Pointing out quite a few stereotypes, not all of them overly correct, stilly a good read but does not reach the quality of the other publications
November 2, 2019
As much as I disliked the Xenophobe's guide to France, which gave a very negative image of the country, I enjoyed this one about the Belgians. The description of the national character, the tensions between Flemings and Walloons, their joint passion for food and drinks, their shared common sense, practical mind and good nature are all accurate. However, the book is not perfect and there are a few factual mistakes that need to be corrected for future editions.
On p.37, it says that Belgians greet relatives and friends with a triple kiss. This is false. Belgians only kiss once, everywhere, unlike the French who kiss from one to four times depending on the region.
On p.61, the author claims that Belgians prefer foreign channels to their own. That may be true to some extent for French speakers preferring French channels, but the Flemings are quite proud of their channels and will rarely go for Dutch channels instead.
On p.69, the authors explains that Catholic schools are single-sex. This was true a few decades ago, but since the 1990's pretty much all schools in Belgium are unisex, even elitist schools.
On p.75, it says that following the 2010 political crisis Belgium was left "with no government at all" for over one year. This is a common misconception, but there was actually an current-affair government in function during the whole period, which is why almost everything went as usual.
P.84 is the worst in the book. Everything is wrong. The author says that, contrarily to the Dutch, the Flemish intentionally refuse to use French words. The fact is that Flemish is filled with French borrowings (e.g. 'communicatie' instead of the original Dutch word 'mededeling'). He says that the word Walloon comes from an ancient Celtic tribe, the Wala, when there has never been such a tribe. The names Walloon and Wallonia are fairly recent coinages. As for the French mimicking Walloon accents, most of the French don't even know what a Walloon accent is, and think that the Flemish accent is the "Belgian accent" in French. The French are often surprised when meeting native French-speaking Belgians (e.g. guests on TV shows) that they don't have an accent.
On p.13, it says that "Belgians dislike the French with a kind of inborn passion that most Englishmen would recognise". That goes against a recent survey asking French-speaking Belgians if they'd be in favour of joining France if the country split up. 49% voted clearly in favour, while many were undecided, and only a small minority was clearly opposed.
Finally, on p.21, the author claims that all Belgians are middle class, mostly because classes aren't much discussed. If it is true that Belgians don't refer to their social classes the way the British do, the class divide is remarkably similar to that of Britain. It's just that Belgians don't care much about it and use disguised appellations for classes. For example, the Walloon word 'barakî' refers to a lower class person who dresses poorly, behaves in a vulgar manner, and speaks with a distinctive lower class accent. The Walloons won't call someone lower class, but say that he or she is a 'barakî' - which is far worse as it is an insult (but a common one). The Flemings are a bit more egalitarian.
On p.37, it says that Belgians greet relatives and friends with a triple kiss. This is false. Belgians only kiss once, everywhere, unlike the French who kiss from one to four times depending on the region.
On p.61, the author claims that Belgians prefer foreign channels to their own. That may be true to some extent for French speakers preferring French channels, but the Flemings are quite proud of their channels and will rarely go for Dutch channels instead.
On p.69, the authors explains that Catholic schools are single-sex. This was true a few decades ago, but since the 1990's pretty much all schools in Belgium are unisex, even elitist schools.
On p.75, it says that following the 2010 political crisis Belgium was left "with no government at all" for over one year. This is a common misconception, but there was actually an current-affair government in function during the whole period, which is why almost everything went as usual.
P.84 is the worst in the book. Everything is wrong. The author says that, contrarily to the Dutch, the Flemish intentionally refuse to use French words. The fact is that Flemish is filled with French borrowings (e.g. 'communicatie' instead of the original Dutch word 'mededeling'). He says that the word Walloon comes from an ancient Celtic tribe, the Wala, when there has never been such a tribe. The names Walloon and Wallonia are fairly recent coinages. As for the French mimicking Walloon accents, most of the French don't even know what a Walloon accent is, and think that the Flemish accent is the "Belgian accent" in French. The French are often surprised when meeting native French-speaking Belgians (e.g. guests on TV shows) that they don't have an accent.
On p.13, it says that "Belgians dislike the French with a kind of inborn passion that most Englishmen would recognise". That goes against a recent survey asking French-speaking Belgians if they'd be in favour of joining France if the country split up. 49% voted clearly in favour, while many were undecided, and only a small minority was clearly opposed.
Finally, on p.21, the author claims that all Belgians are middle class, mostly because classes aren't much discussed. If it is true that Belgians don't refer to their social classes the way the British do, the class divide is remarkably similar to that of Britain. It's just that Belgians don't care much about it and use disguised appellations for classes. For example, the Walloon word 'barakî' refers to a lower class person who dresses poorly, behaves in a vulgar manner, and speaks with a distinctive lower class accent. The Walloons won't call someone lower class, but say that he or she is a 'barakî' - which is far worse as it is an insult (but a common one). The Flemings are a bit more egalitarian.
November 25, 2018
This is the first book I've read in this series and I find Antony Mason's writing amusing and absorbing. As a Brit, I can't completely vouch for its accuracy but this book was given to me by my Belgian step mum and I definitely saw her and her family in Mason's depiction. The importance of family, the importance of FOOD, the obsession with cleanliness, how greetings are the Englishman's "please" and "thank you" in terms of the place they hold in a Belgian's heart...
I also learnt a lot of new things, some bizarre (such as how every seventh consecutive son becomes the godchild of the king and every seventh consecutive daughter the godchild of the queen) and some not (discovering the artist René Magritte, who it turns out I'm a big fan of).
I like how Mason manages to paint such an endearing picture while still being gently mocking all the way through. I'm definitely intrigued about his Guide to the English now!
I also learnt a lot of new things, some bizarre (such as how every seventh consecutive son becomes the godchild of the king and every seventh consecutive daughter the godchild of the queen) and some not (discovering the artist René Magritte, who it turns out I'm a big fan of).
I like how Mason manages to paint such an endearing picture while still being gently mocking all the way through. I'm definitely intrigued about his Guide to the English now!
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November 3, 2017I needed something like this (light, undemanding, informative) to get some things straight. I feel a little bit more oriented in this country, that I've been living in for a few months now. The country of Raf Simons and René Magritte (in that order) as far as I knew.
Note to self: For a deeper understanding of the Belgium psyche, check out Maurice Maeterlinck, Hugo Claus and the singer Jacques Brel.
Note to self: For a deeper understanding of the Belgium psyche, check out Maurice Maeterlinck, Hugo Claus and the singer Jacques Brel.
February 28, 2018
This book was engaging, enlightening and funny as hell. Edutainment at its finest!! I read it almost in one sitting, pausing only for dinner and for my daily 5 minutes of Dutch on Duolingo. I will very likely be reading more from this collection :D
May 27, 2024
Niestety widać, że autor nie ma w ogóle pojęcia o czym pisze. Nie wie nic o prawdziwej Belgii ani o Belgach. Wydaje się, że książka została napisana jako laurka dla Belgów albo może jako fantazja autora na temat jego wymarzonej Belgii.
July 29, 2017
Easy read and I enjoyed the text.
October 8, 2017
The book gave me a good and nice outlook on the Belgians:)
August 20, 2021
Funny
November 15, 2023
Grappig hoor. Hij beschrijft enorme stereotypes, wel grappig, maar niet heel accuraat.
April 7, 2015
Pretty nice book, easy to read and accurate... but up to a point. There were things that I could totally relate to, and others that, after living in Belgium for almost 5 years, I thought they were from another country. I believe that how you see a country is totally up to everyone's experiences.
What I found slightly strange is that the writer, although married to a Belgian, does not actually live in Belgium. So the assumptions that he is making are somewhat questionable...
But good and fun read never the less :)
What I found slightly strange is that the writer, although married to a Belgian, does not actually live in Belgium. So the assumptions that he is making are somewhat questionable...
But good and fun read never the less :)
April 11, 2016
A profound short essay on Belgium and Belgians.
Witty and observant look at what makes Belgium tick. Easy to recognise the Author's many incisive observations and comments about Belgium and its divided linguistic culture from having visited this fascinating country on many occasions. Equally fascinating is the perceptions of those outside Belgium as to how the Belgians are revered and mocked, particularly the attitudes of the French and Dutch neighbours to the Flemish and Francophone cultures within Belgium.
Witty and observant look at what makes Belgium tick. Easy to recognise the Author's many incisive observations and comments about Belgium and its divided linguistic culture from having visited this fascinating country on many occasions. Equally fascinating is the perceptions of those outside Belgium as to how the Belgians are revered and mocked, particularly the attitudes of the French and Dutch neighbours to the Flemish and Francophone cultures within Belgium.
September 5, 2024
This book captivated me and didn't let go until I finished it! How much humor, how many facts and curiosities - it's good that I took notes, and I had to laugh more than once (which happened to me several times in my life while reading). I recommend it to fans of Belgium, Belgians or those trying to understand this strange world of beer and chocolate :)
I will be happy to read the equivalent about Poles!
I will be happy to read the equivalent about Poles!
February 22, 2023
Świetny przewodnik! :) Zabawny, pouczający, informacyjny. A do tego krótki - doskonale nadaje się do lektury np. w drodze do Brukseli. Chętnie przeczytam inne przewodniki z tej serii.
April 22, 2011
hillarious... stereotypes and enough real facts for conversational knowledge.
And yes, the cobblestones do look scrubbed in front of most Belgian houses.
And yes, the cobblestones do look scrubbed in front of most Belgian houses.
June 27, 2012
Hilarious
June 15, 2013
After two days of touring around Belgium with a local friend, I found this book funny and gentle in its observations of the Belgians, their languages and cultures. Informative too!
October 9, 2013
This is a cute little book and a very quick read. To the extent that you can successfully sum up an entire culture in 64 pages, it seems to hit the mark pretty closely.
October 20, 2014
not always accurate, but funny
February 25, 2016
Very funny. Easy read. I think some bits are a little out of date/exaggerated, fixing that would make it much better. 3.5 stars
October 23, 2017
Good introduction to Belgian people, politics and culture.
It was so good to read!
It was so good to read!
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July 16, 2017I got it as a gift for my father and he was pleased to see it. I read it as well and thought it was funny and entertaining.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews