Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings

by Steven G. Rogelberg

"Steven Rogelberg knows more about how to improve meetings than anyone on earth." - Adam Grant, PhD, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and Hidden Potential, and host of the TED podcast WorkLife

SHRM top 12 New Books * The Next Big Idea Club's January 2024 Must-Read Books

There are an estimated 200-500 million 1:1 meetings held each day around the world, but are they run as transformatively as they could be? Or are they just talk?

In Glad We The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings Dr. Steven Rogelberg, author of The Surprising Science of Meetings, helps us maximize the potential of these crucial conversations.

1:1s are arguably one of the most critical meeting types for the success of team members, managers, coaches, teams, and organizations. The best managers recognize that 1:1s are not an add-on to their role as a manager. Conducting 1:1s successfully are foundational to being a manager. At the same time, these meetings are the core of a direct report's experience and development at work, including how well they engage and attach to their role, perceive the effectiveness of their manager, and envision their future at the organization. Scouring the research and evidence collected over 20 years from managers and team members, and drawing on interviews with top leaders from some of the most respected companies in the world, Steven Rogelberg covers topics such

? Why effective 1:1s are critical to your success and the success of your team
? Messaging and positioning 1:1s for maximum value
? Finding the correct 1:1 cadence and meeting length to maximize positive impact without over-meeting
? Managing the intricate balance of productivity-building, relationship-building, and employee development
? Designing 1:1s with intentionality, from where to conduct the meeting to building agendas to optimize effectiveness
? Acting as leader coach and leveraging key skills around facilitation, listening, and feedback-giving
? How to personalize your 1:1 approach to fit you and your direct reports - one size does not fit all

Glad We Met will make managers and direct reports walk away from every 1:1 energized more than any other moment of their workweek and with enduring impact.

Genres: Leadership, Business, Nonfiction, Management, Professional Development, Audiobook, Relationships

243 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 9, 2023

Reviews

[Gailileo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not a lot in here that was particularly earth-shattering, but it was practical, research-based, and not full of fluff. I’ll be keeping this at my desk as a reference!

[James Mason · Rating 2 out of 5]

There was only about a blog posts worth of main content here, stretched to fill a (short) book. It was often getting so basic, it felt _almost_ like it was pedantic or talking down to the reader. Not with a negative tone though, it felt more just like the whole thing was stretched way too thin. I came to this book hoping to get some ideas for running the team that I lead, but I lead a project, not line management and this book was pretty exclusively for the latter. A handful of things seemed appropriate for projects. I ended up skimming just the headings of much of the book after I’d gotten through about a third of it with mounting frustration.


Heard about on Work Life

[Betsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

We spend much of our time at work and a lot of that time in meetings. When was the last time we heard the phrase in the title, "Glad We Met"? This book opened my eyes to the power of the 1:1 meeting as a leader and is full of tips I've been experimenting with to improve my game.

Some personal learnings from my experimentation with ideas from the book:
a) if I am speaking more than 30% of the time, engagement from my direct drops dramatically
b) integrating a long-term career discussion on a quarterly(ish) basis has made a big difference in my direct reports' vision and their alignment with our team goals.
c) creating a living agenda - encouraging my direct to build the agenda asynchronously between our standing meetings has created more buy-in and engagement.

Rogelberg's writing style is upbeat and conversational - like you have a leadership coach by your side. It is an easy and essential read that I'd recommend to anyone who manages people.

[Joshua Bowen · Rating 4 out of 5]

It’s a great book to explore one-on-one meetings for those new or unfamiliar to the practice. Offers a ton of considerations to include topic adjacent ones like feedback and running meetings in general.

I was left with the sense of “you can really do whatever you want!” at the end. So I do recommend pairing topic exploration with something like Mark Horstman’s model in “The Effective Manager.”

Glad I read it and will use insight from it in my management roles!

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

There was a lot of repetition here, but still some helpful ideas. I appreciated that the author seems more encouraging of 1:1 customization than others I've read on this topic.

[Robbie Burns]

Hm. A little underwhelming.

[zoagli · Rating 2 out of 5]

There’s actually a book about this!? I’ve read a few useful books about only meetings and how to make them more effective, but this one takes focus one step too far.

It feels like the author throws in anything and everything he could find around the topic, no matter whether it’s useful or not – and if not, we can always add yet another page-filling checklist, can’t we?

Two stars because 1:1s really are the cornerstone of effective leadership. But I suggest you read a few articles, not this book.

[Anne Maher · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a bad book, but it was a bit dry and repetitive. I did pick up a few really great ideas that I’ve already tried for 1:1s and have been effective. I picked it up just to see if there were any fresh thoughts on making meetings valuable, and most was pretty expected but a few worthwhile and unique thoughts are included so I’m glad I read it.

[Aaron Mikulsky · Rating 3 out of 5]

Glad We Met is a common sense playbook that too few leaders follow, unfortunately. I've operated with these principles for years and know the value and criticality of these meetings. Here are a few highlights:

1:1s are leadership in action. 1:1s are not an add-on to a manager’s job, they ARE a manager’s job. These meetings help ensure that your directs are in the best position to succeed and that you create a healthy working relationship with each member of your team.

Communication is key for starting 1:1s with your team. To do so effectively, set up a meeting with your entire team. Give them a rundown of what 1:1s are and why you will be having them.

Make it clear that all directs will be having 1:1s, tie the meetings to broader organizational and personal values, and stress that these meetings are not about micromanaging or control. Emphasize your desire to give your directs facetime to address what is on their minds on a regular and consistent basis. Encourage directs to ask questions. Ideally, answer these
questions in a team meeting so that everyone receives the same answers, limiting the need for you to repeat yourself.

5 Key Behaviors Are Needed to Meet Personal Needs:
1. Listen and Respond with Empathy
2. Communicate Authentically and Transparently
3. Involve Directs
4. Be Kind and Supportive
5. Demonstrate Appropriate Vulnerability.

Each behavior is needed to support both 1:1 effectiveness and your relationship with your direct. End positively. The end of the 1:1 is a critical opportunity to review and informally document key takeaways. Always make sure to end on time, with gratitude, a reiteration of your support.

The 10 Direct Behaviors that are Critical:
Directs need to take an active role in your 1:1s to get the most out of them. Ten key behaviors are critical in this respect:
1. Know What You Need
2. Be Curious
3. Build Rapport
4. Actively Engage
5. Communicate Well
6. Problem Solve
7. Ask for Help (Constructively)
8. Ask for Feedback
9. Receive Feedback Well
10.Express Gratitude.

1:1s embody your values. Our behaviors signal our values, and our values tell others what is important to us. 1:1s are a critical way for you to support your people, demonstrate your leadership abilities, and improve key outcomes for your team and organization. Therefore, while 1:1s may be seen as a choice, they should be seen as an obligation. 1:1 meetings are essential for building strong working relationships, ensuring your directs have the support they need, and achieving positive outcomes for both your team and the organization. This book will equip you with the knowledge to set up successful 1:1s, from establishing a cadence and agenda to conducting the meetings themselves and following up afterwards. 1:1s are an investment in your people and your team’s success. By prioritizing these meetings and approaching them with intentionality, you can create a space where your directs feel heard, valued, and empowered to do their best work.

[Max McKinnon · Rating 2 out of 5]

Steven G. Rogelberg’s Glad We Met makes the case that one-on-ones are the single most important meeting a manager has, and he lays out a framework for making them effective. The central ideas are straightforward but important: one-on-ones are not status updates; they’re for building trust, surfacing needs, and supporting career growth. Cadence matters (weekly is best, reducing below that can be a red flag), preparation matters, and both manager and employee should come with agenda items.

Where I got value:
• The reminder that 1:1’s should not be status update meetings (a boundary at many times I have not done a good job of keeping, will do better at this)
• The emphasis on small rituals, like consistently asking “What can I do to support you this week?” or ending with a quick recap, as ways to build relationship stability.

Where it felt too basic:
• Much of the content is aimed at managers who don’t do one-on-ones at all, or who treat them as status updates. For anyone already running regular one-on-ones, the advice can feel like stating the obvious.
• The book stays at the level of principles and checklists, without going deeper into how to handle difficult dynamics (e.g. disengaged managers, low trust, or political barriers).

Gaps where it could deliver more:
• Trust is highlighted as important but not deeply explored. The book doesn’t tackle what to do when trust is already broken or when the manager/employee relationship is strained.
• Power dynamics are underdeveloped. One-on-ones can become performative or even weaponized in bad faith, but the book largely assumes both sides are operating with good intentions.
• It doesn’t really address how to take one-on-ones “to the next level” — e.g. how to move beyond hygiene basics into true coaching, sponsorship, or strategic alignment.

Overall:
Useful as a baseline for managers new to one-on-ones or struggling to give them structure. For more experienced readers, it confirms fundamentals and offers a few small rituals worth adopting, but leaves big gaps unaddressed.

[Gordon Welling]

Doctor Rogelberg offers an insightful look into how we can leverage 1:1 meetings to improve our effectiveness as managers and leaders. If you have ever sat through a 1:1 meeting with your manager and wondered what benefit that meeting had, you need to read this book. As a manager, if you have struggled with 1:1 meetings with your direct reports, you need to read this book.

Doctor Rogelberg takes the covers off the mystery of effective 1:1 meetings and describes what makes a 1:1 meeting valuable. As a manager you will learn techniques like designing meetings with intentionality, acting as a leader coach, personalizing your approach, encouraging dialogue, and discussing goals and development as key ways for you to improve your 1:1 meetings. When applied, you will no longer fear scheduling 1:1s, rather you will look forward to the feedback you will obtain -- feedback that will help you improve processes, support your team, and build increasing value into the work that your team delivers.

Doctor Rogelberg emphasized that direct reports also have an equal and crucial role in ensuring that 1:1 meetings effectively deliver benefits and value to themselves by facilitating the exchange of ideas with their manager. So if you struggle with how to contribute, Doctor Rogelbeerg suggests that you can actively participate and engage in the meeting, be open and honest during the meetings by sharing constructive feedback aimed at making improvements, communicating your preferences, and discussing your aspirations and creating actionable plans to achieve your professional development goals.

If you want to derive benefit from and stop wasting time during your 1:1 meetings, I recommend that you take a few hours this week to read this book -- you will not regret the time and effort that you spend.

[Liana Stock · Rating 5 out of 5]

In "Glad We Met," Rogelberg delves into the often overlooked yet transformative realm of one-on-one meetings. With precision and insight, Rogelberg navigates through the intricacies of these intimate sessions, unveiling the immense potential they hold for personal and professional growth. This book is not merely a guide; it's a manifesto for unlocking the full potential of human connection within the workplace.

Rogelberg's writing is both profound and accessible, making complex concepts simple to grasp and implement. He approaches the topic with the wisdom of a seasoned mentor, infusing each page with practical advice and real-world examples that resonate deeply with readers. Whether you're a seasoned manager or an aspiring leader, "Glad We Met" offers invaluable strategies for fostering meaningful connections and driving lasting change.

One of the book's greatest strengths lies in its emphasis on active listening. Rogelberg highlights the importance of truly understanding and valuing the perspectives of direct reports, creating a space where trust and collaboration can flourish. Through engaging research and insightful anecdotes, he illustrates how authentic communication can lead to breakthroughs in productivity, morale, and overall organizational success.

Steven Rogelberg's profound insights backed by research and practical advice from decades of experience make this book a must-read for leaders, managers, directs, and individuals alike. Prepare to be inspired, challenged, and empowered to unleash the full potential of your one-on-one meetings.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

One-on-ones are one of those things that people talk about, not everyone does, and not many do well. Even in a highly connected environment, it’s valuable to make time to focus on each person on your team to help them, to give them an opportunity to help you to be a better manager.

When I was a new manager, I read Behind Closed Doors Secrets Of Great Management by Johanna Rothman and the chapter on one on ones was amazingly valuable in helping me to understand why one on ones were useful, how to have a good one on one (which I’d rarely experienced), and how to convince _my manager that the time I spent in these meetings was useful. _Glad We Met_ book goes a bit deeper, and while not essential, it’s a valuable read

Rogelberg addresses some common questions, such as why we need one-on-ones, even if we interact each day, and provides a framework for good one-on-ones. The book’s primary audience is managers who have direct reports, but it is valuable for non managers for two reasons:
• You can better prepare for one one-on-one meetings when your manager does them well
• You can take steps to drive a good one-on-one from your side.

While this book seems a bit longer than it needed to be , this is a useful book for managers and direct reports alike.

[Beverly Kaye · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a specialist for the past 4 decades in career development and retention/engagement, I thought I had the answer to 1-1 meetings. They are crucial conversations for every manager and every individual.

I offered training on those critical conversations and wrote books on them as well. Thought I had conquered the “how to!” When I opened Steven’s book, I realized I had only scratched the surface.

Steven is a guru of the 1-1 meeting. His work shows his long history with this particular kind of meeting that so many of us think we already know, or just simply take for granted.

He hits every conceivable aspect of 1-1 meetings. His tools alone (even if you move right there) are worth the price of the book. His chapters cleverly start with the key question that kicks off the chapter but is probably also the dominant question in the mind of the reader. He answers those questions beautifully and (the bonus) he makes you think that you too can run that meeting (now!) yourself. This is part workbook, part text book, part direct talk, part hand-holding for YOU the reader who has to face these one on one conversations almost every single day.

Dr. Bev Kaye, author and thought leader, Love 'Em or Lose 'Em: Getting Good People to Stay, Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go, and Up is Not the Only Way

[Corey]

I didn’t get very far into this book before giving up. I don’t believe in giving reviews to books I didn’t finish, but I do want to commemorate why I gave up so that I don’t pick up the same book accidentally again expecting to react differently.

I tried with this one. I have a lot of one on one meetings with various people at work and I thought there could be some helpful insight here to make it a more productive experience. Unfortunately, I didn’t get very far before getting horribly bored and giving up. It started with the in-depth and detailed explanation of what a one on one meeting is. Ouch. I started skipping ahead to see if future chapters would be more relevant or useful. Unfortunately, in the audiobook version, the chapters didn’t have titles so I couldn’t figure out if there were specific chapters that might be useful. I skipped ahead quite a bit and heard no useful substance so I decided life is too short to be man-splained something really obvious in my free time and just gave up.

Also unfortunately, this book was a good example of what I fear generally about non-fiction books… that very few of them in my experience have enough content for a full blown book. Most could be summarized in a New Yorker length article without much being lost. I’m always disappointed when I pick up a non-fiction book and find my bias confirmed.

[Jon Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Having worked in animal welfare for roughly a decade, I always knew the importance of having a strong working relationship with my team. Though, it was only after reading Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings that I realized how much the quality of one-on-one interactions (whether with peers or my supervisor) contributed to my day-to-day job satisfaction and growth.

In his book, Rogelberg provides evidence-based, actionable advice on how to effectively conduct and leverage 1:1 meetings to improve overall organizational health (starting with the workers). The book covers a wide array of topics---such as meeting cadence, agenda development, benefits of different modes of meetings (such as a walking meeting), and more---each which uniquely contributed to building my understanding the value of 1:1 meetings.

I believe the most valuable aspect of this book is Rogelberg's emphasis on the direct report. As elaborated upon in the book, these 1:1 meetings are just as much for the direct as they are for the supervisor. Their entire design is to help workers set and achieve goals though building meaningful relationships with their supervios.

If you are someone who cares about your employees, and sincerely hopes for their growth and development, this book is for you.

[Edward · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the time of reading this book, I've been a manager for about 18 months. During that time, I have always held biweekly 1:1s with my directs, and I always felt like I could have been doing better. I also wondered if 1:1s with my manager could be improved. In Glad We Met, Dr. Rogelberg has packed its 200 pages with research-based, easy to implement strategies for having effective 1:1 meetings between managers and directs.

The book has a logical flow, starting with why 1:1s are important. It then continues by explaining how to carry out effective 1:1s--what to do prior to the meeting, during the meeting, and after the meeting. The book concludes by discussing skip-level 1:1s--meetings between directs and their manager's manager--and the value they have in an organization.

While conducting 1:1s may seem like common sense, I assure you there are ideas for everyone, including directs, in this book for how to make 1:1s even better than they may already be.

[Jay Izso · Rating 5 out of 5]

Steven Rogelberg’s book, “Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings” is by far one of the best books on how to have successful 1:1 meetings.

This book is for mangers and their direct reports, owners and their employees, C-suite professionals and their employees, consultants, coaches, and anyone else who is trying to improve.

The science behind “Glad We Met” is thorough and puts teeth behind many of the thoughts, words, and phrases we use everyday when it comes to creating meetings that have meaning and move the needle when it comes the people we work with.

The book is not a dry read. In fact Steven Rogelberg makes “Glad We Met” and enjoyable read with his wit and humor.

The bonus of this book is that Steven provides questions, assessments, and guides to help you make you 1:1 meetings the best that they can be.

Please note that ALL proceeds from “Glad We Met” go to cancer research in support of Steven’s sister-in-law. I personally believe it is a must read!

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just as the title and subtitle promise, Glad We Met dives deep into the importance of and structure of 1:1 work meetings. I've had the privilege of meeting Dr. Rogelberg and I was able to hear his voice as I read it. He's an excellent speaker and his book has the same conversational tone. I appreciate that throughout the book he backs up all recommendations with data that he has collected from a variety of industries, and also includes tools with which to implement his recommendations. It was reassuring to read that a lot of what I do with 1:1s is on track with recommendations and it was exciting to read about other things I may try eventually.

A special note: one chapter is devoted to skip-level 1:1s. I have already told two colleagues about this concept, excitedly. I can't implement (I only have a handful of direct reports and none of them manage others) but I would absolutely love to participate in a skip-level myself. :)

[Charles Reed · Rating 2 out of 5]

38%

This is like the prerequisite to Communication 101 because it is just so common core. You mean, just to take a communication course, you get all this information. And it's repetitive. This book gets a Raspberry Award for the worst introduction ever. I've never gone through a book that has an introduction this bad. That I can recall. Over 3,000 books. Having that being said, it's an okay book, but it's repetitive to the point where it's annoying. It's like, yes, you're saying the same thing in different ways, which is the art of learning. It's repetition. But it shouldn't be done to this degree in one singular book. It's not even giving you different scenarios for the information. Walking meeting. That's a great idea. That's the best part of the book. And the sad part is, this is the best part of my day. Listening to this book. Yikes. What a day. Thank you.

[Matt Poepsel · Rating 5 out of 5]

At a time when retaining employees is paramount, 1:1 meetings can be a major missed opportunity. Fortunately, organizational psychologist Steven Rogelberg, Ph.D. leverages social science to make meetings more effective, engaging, and inclusive. His latest book, Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings, shows leaders at every level how to position and run wildly productive 1:1s.

Glad We Met is a lively, conversational read. Each chapter includes just enough science, gobs of examples, and a tidy summary of key takeaways. Rogelberg even teaches readers how to deal with dreaded meeting overload to make room for better 1:1s.

Highly recommend!

[Kaitlyn Reeves · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick read that reminds leaders and employees of the basics of purpose, structure, and extracting value from 1x1 meetings. Nothing in the book is groundbreaking, but it’s one of those topics that stating known truths can be valuable if you are rethinking 1x1 meetings at work.

Book provides several lists of questions that are helpful for managers to ask their team how they are doing.

Great for audiobook - but if you want to leverage the tools and templates, recommend a paper copy. I would read this book again.

Recommend for leaders of new teams, leaders of leaders, first time managers, and seasoned mangers who are feeling like “are these 1x1s even worth my time?”

[Sharon Summerfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

Glad We Met is such an important read. This is the second book I have read by Steven G. Rogelberg.

For many us of 1:1s have been a luxury, and not something that happened on a regular sequence. I learned in Glad We Met, we have been doing these wrong. 1:1s are not a status update. This is an opportunity for the person reporting to the leader to set the agenda and for the leader to listen, not lead the meeting.

As with The Surprizing Science of Meetings Steven Rogelberg includes different charts and ways to navigate 1:1s.

Highly recommend this book.

[Christian Langenegger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Professor Steven Rogelberg elegantly tackles one of the most common types of meetings, namely the one-on-one. He provides research-based insights into how they are interpreted to get the reader thinking and then offers concrete steps to help any leader improve their one-on-ones. The book is excellent for anyone with direct reports, aspiring to have direct reports or simply taking part in one-on-ones.

For most readers, the hardest part of this book will be implementing the insights and steps. Professor Rogelberg includes handy checklists for that.

[PETER R · Rating 5 out of 5]

As Adam Grant writes, "Steven Rogelberg knows more about how to improve meetings than anyone on earth." Like The Surprising Science of Meetings, Glad We Met offers insights that apply beyond the business world. It's a book that school administrators should lean on to improve evaluation meetings and teachers can learn from in terms of how to improve their "hallway talks" with individual students. Dr. Rogelberg is the best in the business!

[Enrica · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book that provides tangible and practical advice on improving 1 on 1 meetings! Infused with research and real world examples, this book highlights ways to maximize our time, increase potential for productivity, and improve our relationships with team members at work. This is a must read for managers looking to help their direct reports increase effectiveness and satisfaction at work!

[Rebecca Choong · Rating 3 out of 5]

Comprehensive, but can be repetitive in section 2 onwards. The toolkits and checklists are helpful in succinctly guiding the reader along, oftentimes so self-explanatory, readers can choose to give the accompanying narrative a miss without losing too much substance.

On a side note, I think there is a greater sense that organisations that practice this religiously hire managers predominantly project manage, and to manage team morale, rather than doing the actual groundwork.

[Cameron · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great and informative little book about how to hold more effective 1:1 meetings. This is one thing I have always struggled with. Though I found that I am doing a lot of the things the author suggests, I gleaned a lot of additional ideas and learned about things I may be missing. If you are a manager who regularly holds (or should hold) 1:1 meetings, pick this up for sure. If not, there won't be much in here for you.

[Hildeloke · Rating 5 out of 5]

How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives. Most of those we lead spend their lives working in frontline positions that are often thankless, how often have they had the opportunity for a one on one with a leader that was genuine and meaningful and perhaps ended with, glad we met.

A much needed coach and guide for the leadership world. This book is excellent and one I am purchasing for my supervisors to read.

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book gives quite some checklist for how to do 1:1s the right way.
At the end, 1:1s is a tool for leadership, that embodies our values.

I think it is better to read this book after some management experience, and use it as a reflection and how to improve or experiment based on the materials. Otherwise it might be confusing or frustrating whereas I checked all the boxes and why I didn’t see the results coming.