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I love this version of myself that you brought out: a memoir of a broken heart
296 pages, Paperback
Published January 8, 2024
434 people are currently reading
5887 people want to read
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October 17, 2024Hard truths, but raw and honest. The first book i ever highlighted. Also i cried. Leave me alone. Im an emotional bad bitch ok.
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July 30, 2024extremely repetitive but beautiful nonetheless; i loved the portrayal of beautified heartbreak.
May 14, 2024
Really great read focusing on not beating yourself up over lingering thoughts or feelings after a break up. One quote that really stuck out was that “letting go is a process, not an outcome.”
Realizing that the other person has their own story to live and you at one point were are a part of that, but now you are not. This book is about accountability and accepting and embracing the truth. As brutal or as beautiful as that can be.
Realizing that the other person has their own story to live and you at one point were are a part of that, but now you are not. This book is about accountability and accepting and embracing the truth. As brutal or as beautiful as that can be.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 15, 2025
Should the book be almost 300 pages long? No. It was a repetitive, but I get it. I feel like a broken record when I speak with my friends about heartbreak, the grief that accompanies the feeling, and how to move forward. I wouldn’t say this book “healed me,” but there were passages and chapters I could relate to. Writing my own feelings in a letter helped me more than this book did, but I can appreciate when others publish their own thoughts and stories for those who need them.
August 13, 2025
4,5 ⭐️
Ein gutes Einsteigerbuch, wenn man sich davor noch nicht intensiv damit befasst hat, den Verlust eines Menschen nicht persönlich zu nehmen.
Halber Stern Abzug, weil es sich zum Teil sehr stark wiederholt.
Ein gutes Einsteigerbuch, wenn man sich davor noch nicht intensiv damit befasst hat, den Verlust eines Menschen nicht persönlich zu nehmen.
Halber Stern Abzug, weil es sich zum Teil sehr stark wiederholt.
February 24, 2025
A book that affirmed my beliefs on what I already felt to be true. Love how the writing was formatted & how the writing style was a direct reflection of the processes he was talking about. Loved it.
February 24, 2025
“I hate the ending of stories… But what I failed to realise is that more happens beyond what we can see”.
When you’re drifting in a dark abyss after losing someone so close to you, Chang highlights the wonders of it all in order to ground yourself again.
This book was alright. A common thing that I found with books like these are that the concepts are paraphrased a lot throughout; though, I imagine that this is the flow of the mind when someone goes through a really bad heartbreak- events, scenarios, unsaid words, and thoughts are in a repetitive cycle in their minds. It’s as if you are convincing yourself that all is well when you know it’s really not.
What I liked was that it displayed authenticity and explores raw emotions through the journal entry extracts and poems. I also liked how earnest Chang wrote, though some of the points were confronting to read and you feel convicted; but that’s part of being able to relate to a book.
“Endings are actually beginnings. If you let them be”.
Also, the final unsent letter had me in tears 🥲
When you’re drifting in a dark abyss after losing someone so close to you, Chang highlights the wonders of it all in order to ground yourself again.
This book was alright. A common thing that I found with books like these are that the concepts are paraphrased a lot throughout; though, I imagine that this is the flow of the mind when someone goes through a really bad heartbreak- events, scenarios, unsaid words, and thoughts are in a repetitive cycle in their minds. It’s as if you are convincing yourself that all is well when you know it’s really not.
What I liked was that it displayed authenticity and explores raw emotions through the journal entry extracts and poems. I also liked how earnest Chang wrote, though some of the points were confronting to read and you feel convicted; but that’s part of being able to relate to a book.
“Endings are actually beginnings. If you let them be”.
Also, the final unsent letter had me in tears 🥲
February 8, 2026
This could’ve been much shorter. It felt repetitive. The essays were enough on their own. The poems felt like filler instead of adding depth. I get what the author was trying to do, and I’m not invalidating their experience, but the book leans too hard into saying the same thing over and over.
Our relationships are mirrors of ourselves, how you treat others is often how you treat yourself. Love and heartbreak aren’t universal experiences. What love looks like to one person might feel completely different to another. The same goes for heartbreak. Something that devastates you might not even register as pain for someone else. These things can’t be measured or standardized.
Sharing a breakup journal can be helpful, especially for people who are freshly heartbroken and completely lost. But turning personal healing into a quiet set of instructions like “you should do this in this situation” felt unnecessary. Not everyone is in the same emotional place, dealing with the same intensity, or the same kind of pain. A heartbreak is still a heartbreak. What helped you cope won’t automatically help someone else.
I also couldn’t fully get behind the core idea of loving the version of yourself that someone else brought out. That version existed because of them and usually disappears with them too. The version worth loving is the one you brought out on your own, without tying your growth to who stayed or who left.
I think this book will resonate with people who are deep in heartbreak and searching for something or anything to hold onto. They might find comfort or validation here. But once you’ve rebuilt yourself without tying your identity to someone who left, you stop romanticizing who you became for them.
The final unsent letter explains a lot. I’m glad the author wrote it for themselves. They clearly needed that closure. I just didn’t need to read the same lesson wrapped in different formats to get there.
Our relationships are mirrors of ourselves, how you treat others is often how you treat yourself. Love and heartbreak aren’t universal experiences. What love looks like to one person might feel completely different to another. The same goes for heartbreak. Something that devastates you might not even register as pain for someone else. These things can’t be measured or standardized.
Sharing a breakup journal can be helpful, especially for people who are freshly heartbroken and completely lost. But turning personal healing into a quiet set of instructions like “you should do this in this situation” felt unnecessary. Not everyone is in the same emotional place, dealing with the same intensity, or the same kind of pain. A heartbreak is still a heartbreak. What helped you cope won’t automatically help someone else.
I also couldn’t fully get behind the core idea of loving the version of yourself that someone else brought out. That version existed because of them and usually disappears with them too. The version worth loving is the one you brought out on your own, without tying your growth to who stayed or who left.
I think this book will resonate with people who are deep in heartbreak and searching for something or anything to hold onto. They might find comfort or validation here. But once you’ve rebuilt yourself without tying your identity to someone who left, you stop romanticizing who you became for them.
The final unsent letter explains a lot. I’m glad the author wrote it for themselves. They clearly needed that closure. I just didn’t need to read the same lesson wrapped in different formats to get there.
September 26, 2025
I will preface that this book is extremely repetitive. However, I found the repetitive nature of it helpful in my case. I really loved the idea that the final act of love you can perform for someone, is to let them go, that to love them is to let them go. It gives you somewhere to put all of the love you feel left with, to love someone through one final act and I think that really resonated for me. There were also themes of looking at one’s own inner child and how to reframe thought patterns around the kind of life you would want for them or even the kind of life that they wanted. This book was really introspective for me and I have no doubt I’ll be looking back on it repeatedly.
September 3, 2024
this breakup journal was so helpful and healing for me during hard times ❤️ gave me lots of different perspectives on heart break
October 21, 2024
A lot of the content was very repetitive, but I still really enjoyed this book.
January 18, 2025
There were a lot of gems in this book. Helped me change my perspective a bit too
September 6, 2025
3.5 ⭐️
November 30, 2025
Bought this after two relationships ended at the exact same time & both meant a lot to me. Started reading this like five months later. Finished after rebounding and then losing both of them again.
I annotated a lot of this book because I wanted to remember the words of my future when all I could focus on was what happened. I spent my last year of high school abandoning myself in every way but one. I learned that letting go is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I learned that no matter how many podcasts I listen to, books I read, advice I receive, miles I run, hours I sing, I will never be able to avoid feeling the weight of choosing love. And I learned that I will always choose love.
I love when Chang says that seeing reminders of them is not a sign that you should get back together but a sign that you are moving forward. I would see his car everywhere and try to gauge whether it was him, not knowing that I was holding on so tight to hope that if our environment made things as easy as possible for him, if I made things as easy as possible for him, he would choose me. I learned that if someone doesn’t choose you when the intensity of life hits them hard, they certainly won’t choose you when that intensity is whipped away. And why would I want to be with someone who runs from hardship?
As I’m writing this I feel so much anger. I think it’s the anger I never let myself feel when I was with these two, even when I knew I was being mistreated, when I knew I was abandoning my goals and self, and proceeded anyway. I feel anger with myself for not knowing better, for holding on for so long, for still not being “over it,” for letting this affect me the way it has when I (blessedly) have people telling me constantly to forget about it because I’m moving away soon. I believe the anger is a signal to my authentically moving on. I timidly walk the line between being angry and staying angry. I don’t want to be bitter.
I believe there is almost nothing more vulnerable than acting in love. Before I met him, I used to see that in others and perceive it as a sign of strength and depth, which inspired me about them. The effect I have let this have on me is a persistent fear that love is embarrassing. So I stopped being passionate. Even writing this feels embarrassing because what if someone thinks I’m dramatic or really this is just hormones and what if I am not taken seriously? ‘I love this version of me that you brought out’ (and many hours of yoga) have taught me to feel embarrassed and proceed anyway. This last year I let my embarrassment and shame stunt me. I will never again sacrifice my love for others’ pain or my own.
💗💗💗
I annotated a lot of this book because I wanted to remember the words of my future when all I could focus on was what happened. I spent my last year of high school abandoning myself in every way but one. I learned that letting go is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I learned that no matter how many podcasts I listen to, books I read, advice I receive, miles I run, hours I sing, I will never be able to avoid feeling the weight of choosing love. And I learned that I will always choose love.
I love when Chang says that seeing reminders of them is not a sign that you should get back together but a sign that you are moving forward. I would see his car everywhere and try to gauge whether it was him, not knowing that I was holding on so tight to hope that if our environment made things as easy as possible for him, if I made things as easy as possible for him, he would choose me. I learned that if someone doesn’t choose you when the intensity of life hits them hard, they certainly won’t choose you when that intensity is whipped away. And why would I want to be with someone who runs from hardship?
As I’m writing this I feel so much anger. I think it’s the anger I never let myself feel when I was with these two, even when I knew I was being mistreated, when I knew I was abandoning my goals and self, and proceeded anyway. I feel anger with myself for not knowing better, for holding on for so long, for still not being “over it,” for letting this affect me the way it has when I (blessedly) have people telling me constantly to forget about it because I’m moving away soon. I believe the anger is a signal to my authentically moving on. I timidly walk the line between being angry and staying angry. I don’t want to be bitter.
I believe there is almost nothing more vulnerable than acting in love. Before I met him, I used to see that in others and perceive it as a sign of strength and depth, which inspired me about them. The effect I have let this have on me is a persistent fear that love is embarrassing. So I stopped being passionate. Even writing this feels embarrassing because what if someone thinks I’m dramatic or really this is just hormones and what if I am not taken seriously? ‘I love this version of me that you brought out’ (and many hours of yoga) have taught me to feel embarrassed and proceed anyway. This last year I let my embarrassment and shame stunt me. I will never again sacrifice my love for others’ pain or my own.
💗💗💗
September 28, 2024
I don't know where to even begin with this book. I guess I can start with this: I don't know where I'd be without Jaymen's words and his method of reframing and restructuring. It's so incredibly powerful, I've found a new way to live (fully, this time) through the power and wisdom of his words.
This is not just a book about moving on, it's about the way to reorganize your thoughts to do everything in your life authentically and lovingly.
I started this book a few months ago, and immediately could tell there is something profound in the way he thinks and frames things. In the beginning, I'd pick it up only when I needed to ground myself, whenever things get too overwhelming and I'd need something. For that, it worked great. Every page turn was a new idea, a new thought that I asked myself "this makes so much sense. how have I not reached this conclusion myself before?"
But that's the point in this book; everything happens in its time, and for a reason. To berate yourself saying "I should have known better" is a betrayal to yourself, and a denial of the (continuous) healing process. Healing not just from heartbreak, but from being the very thing that holds you back from living with your whole heart.
* "Sometimes healing means letting go of the pride you have around the pain you carry"
* "Spend time with your shame, your guilt, your pain, and accept those parts of yourself you hid away to "be more lovable" or "to be enough". You have always been enough, and you have always been lovable. You just forgot somewher along the way. Let go of your expectations of who you "should be" and just be who you are. Meet all parts of yourself and reclaim them. Declare that you are reclaiming those parts of yourself and own it"
This is in the context of heartbreak, but that is because we usually are the cruelest to ourselves during that vulnerable time. Jaymen points out that it is indeed in these moments of extreme judgement of ourselves that we most need to be compassionate towards ourselves.
Between the poems, memoirs, and thought essays lie profound wisdom of living a loving life. Between them lie context and reframe of feelings and thoughts that seemed overwhelming. Between them are deeper understanding of love, loss, letting go, and moving forward.
I said it before and I'll say it again. I don't know where I'd be without Jaymen's words. It's not just about heartbreak, but about finding your loving, authentic self when it feels the most distant from you.
This is not just a book about moving on, it's about the way to reorganize your thoughts to do everything in your life authentically and lovingly.
I started this book a few months ago, and immediately could tell there is something profound in the way he thinks and frames things. In the beginning, I'd pick it up only when I needed to ground myself, whenever things get too overwhelming and I'd need something. For that, it worked great. Every page turn was a new idea, a new thought that I asked myself "this makes so much sense. how have I not reached this conclusion myself before?"
But that's the point in this book; everything happens in its time, and for a reason. To berate yourself saying "I should have known better" is a betrayal to yourself, and a denial of the (continuous) healing process. Healing not just from heartbreak, but from being the very thing that holds you back from living with your whole heart.
* "Sometimes healing means letting go of the pride you have around the pain you carry"
* "Spend time with your shame, your guilt, your pain, and accept those parts of yourself you hid away to "be more lovable" or "to be enough". You have always been enough, and you have always been lovable. You just forgot somewher along the way. Let go of your expectations of who you "should be" and just be who you are. Meet all parts of yourself and reclaim them. Declare that you are reclaiming those parts of yourself and own it"
This is in the context of heartbreak, but that is because we usually are the cruelest to ourselves during that vulnerable time. Jaymen points out that it is indeed in these moments of extreme judgement of ourselves that we most need to be compassionate towards ourselves.
Between the poems, memoirs, and thought essays lie profound wisdom of living a loving life. Between them lie context and reframe of feelings and thoughts that seemed overwhelming. Between them are deeper understanding of love, loss, letting go, and moving forward.
I said it before and I'll say it again. I don't know where I'd be without Jaymen's words. It's not just about heartbreak, but about finding your loving, authentic self when it feels the most distant from you.
April 27, 2024
Mình đọc vì mình thích cái tựa sách thui do đó cũng là điều mà mình cảm nhận và tự nói với bản thân mình trong hơn tháng nay. Cuốn này mình lựa và bạn mình tặng do mình than với bạn là t thấy t yêu ngu quá và dĩ nhiên là ngu thì đọc thêm sách vào =)) Đây ko phải là một cuốn sách sâu sắc nhưng mà khá là thực dụng, ổn để một người đàn ông có thể đọc và bắt đầu quá trình healing sau breakup. Có thể coi cuốn này như là một dạng detox định kiến xã hội cho đàn ông (dạng như mấy cái tiktok vớ vẩn dạy yêu dạy chọn chồng í). Cuốn sách cũng cung cấp những cái nhìn mới, những insight, logic đằng sau các sự việc mà mình đã trải qua trong mối quan hệ nhưng không hiểu tại sao nó lại như vậy (tuy nhiên mình sẽ cần xác minh lại các tư tưởng này có chính xác ko). Nói chung cuốn này dễ đọc, suy quá thì mua đọc rút kinh nghiệm, suy ít cũng nên mua để biết mà trở nên tốt hơn, không suy thì có yêu đél đâu mà mua về làm màu hay gì =))
July 20, 2024
It’s a great book for people who are heartbroken and are really craving reading the poetry of a high schooler. I know he’s not actually a high schooler but the quality of the poetry as well as the obvious analyses is how I would summarize the book. I did thoroughly enjoy the beginning part as far as the importance of letting people go, we lost together, etc., but as it went on it became quite redundant (in terms of letting people go, the amount of times the author uses the word “nuance,” etc. I was influenced by Instagram to purchase this book, and thought it would be nice to read after the end of a long term relationship, but I found myself getting more annoyed than anything else, like any way most people tend to be disappointed with a book they purchase from BookTok.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 16, 2024
i found parts of it really touching, but it was very repetitive and also was getting annoyed with some of the message. more of a 2.5 than 3 for me.
May 29, 2025
Beautiful book, definitely helped me heal 🤍
October 14, 2024
"I Love This Version of Myself That You Brought Out: A Memoir of a Broken Heart"
by Jaymen Chang
Rating:5/5
Review:
👉Jaymen Chang’s I Love This Version of Myself That You Brought Out is a powerful, heart-wrenching memoir that explores the intricate, often painful, dance between love and heartbreak. From the very first page, this book captures the reader’s heart with its raw honesty, emotional depth, and profound vulnerability. Through a series of unsent letters, texts, poems, and reflective essays, Chang invites us into his deeply personal journey of loss, rediscovery, and self-acceptance.
👉The memoir poses a poignant question: How do you move on when the person who taught you to love is the one you have to let go of? Chang’s exploration of this theme is nothing short of breathtaking. He masterfully weaves together the joy and the pain of loving someone deeply, and then the devastation of learning how to live without them. Each chapter feels like peeling back another layer of emotional complexity, revealing the delicate balance between holding on and finding the strength to let go.
👉What makes this book stand out is its authenticity. Chang doesn’t shy away from the messy, uncomfortable truths that come with heartbreak. Instead, he embraces them fully, giving readers a front-row seat to his own emotional unraveling and eventual healing. It’s this honesty that makes the memoir so relatable. Anyone who has ever loved and lost will find themselves reflected in these pages.
👉But beyond the pain, there’s also beauty. I Love This Version of Myself That You Brought Out isn’t just about heartbreak — it’s about rediscovering yourself through the process. Chang celebrates the transformative power of love, even when it ends, and the incredible strength that comes from learning to love yourself in the aftermath. It’s a memoir that reminds us that heartbreak doesn’t have to break us — it can, in fact, bring out the best in us.
👉This book resonated with me on so many levels. I went into it feeling like I was on a personal journey, but I came out on the other side feeling more healed, more at peace, and with a sense of closure I didn’t know I needed.
#review
by Jaymen Chang
Rating:5/5
Review:
👉Jaymen Chang’s I Love This Version of Myself That You Brought Out is a powerful, heart-wrenching memoir that explores the intricate, often painful, dance between love and heartbreak. From the very first page, this book captures the reader’s heart with its raw honesty, emotional depth, and profound vulnerability. Through a series of unsent letters, texts, poems, and reflective essays, Chang invites us into his deeply personal journey of loss, rediscovery, and self-acceptance.
👉The memoir poses a poignant question: How do you move on when the person who taught you to love is the one you have to let go of? Chang’s exploration of this theme is nothing short of breathtaking. He masterfully weaves together the joy and the pain of loving someone deeply, and then the devastation of learning how to live without them. Each chapter feels like peeling back another layer of emotional complexity, revealing the delicate balance between holding on and finding the strength to let go.
👉What makes this book stand out is its authenticity. Chang doesn’t shy away from the messy, uncomfortable truths that come with heartbreak. Instead, he embraces them fully, giving readers a front-row seat to his own emotional unraveling and eventual healing. It’s this honesty that makes the memoir so relatable. Anyone who has ever loved and lost will find themselves reflected in these pages.
👉But beyond the pain, there’s also beauty. I Love This Version of Myself That You Brought Out isn’t just about heartbreak — it’s about rediscovering yourself through the process. Chang celebrates the transformative power of love, even when it ends, and the incredible strength that comes from learning to love yourself in the aftermath. It’s a memoir that reminds us that heartbreak doesn’t have to break us — it can, in fact, bring out the best in us.
👉This book resonated with me on so many levels. I went into it feeling like I was on a personal journey, but I came out on the other side feeling more healed, more at peace, and with a sense of closure I didn’t know I needed.
#review
January 29, 2025
deciding the final rating of this book was a quite hard one for me. while reading it, sometimes i felt like giving 4 stars, sometimes 3, sometimes 2. reading this book was quite a heavy journey with its inconsistency.
this book is really not like other self-help books i've ever read and it feels very raw - in both good and bad ways. lots of the proses and poems hit close to home. it really felt like someone else is narrating my own story of heartbreak and the process of letting go and moving on. on the good side: i can really feel close with the writings in this book - it's like a best friend talking to me after having my heart broken. that everything is going to be okay and that moving on is a long process i have to go through. i can feel the rawness, the emotions, the feelings of the author through this book. however, this book is also 'raw' in the sense that it needs further editing, proofreading, and layout formatting before being released. maybe it's the writing style of the author, but the formatting (such as using left aligned text and also the font choice) hurt my eyes so bad when i was reading the book. it also felt like the contents need to go through an editor first - to curate the words and the writings. some words are used repetitively (in a very annoying way) and sometimes i would even roll my eyes when i feel like the book starts becoming a 'teacher' that tries to berate me for my stupid decisions.
this book is really not like other self-help books i've ever read and it feels very raw - in both good and bad ways. lots of the proses and poems hit close to home. it really felt like someone else is narrating my own story of heartbreak and the process of letting go and moving on. on the good side: i can really feel close with the writings in this book - it's like a best friend talking to me after having my heart broken. that everything is going to be okay and that moving on is a long process i have to go through. i can feel the rawness, the emotions, the feelings of the author through this book. however, this book is also 'raw' in the sense that it needs further editing, proofreading, and layout formatting before being released. maybe it's the writing style of the author, but the formatting (such as using left aligned text and also the font choice) hurt my eyes so bad when i was reading the book. it also felt like the contents need to go through an editor first - to curate the words and the writings. some words are used repetitively (in a very annoying way) and sometimes i would even roll my eyes when i feel like the book starts becoming a 'teacher' that tries to berate me for my stupid decisions.
May 4, 2025
Honestly, the content of this book is very raw and relatable in a sense of not having to force yourself take every perspective because in the first pages have reminders that you get to decide what's right and wrong for you.
To be frank, not every chapters of this book aligns with my beliefs but its satisfying to just read a different view of everything. It allowed me to know that it is possible to change or stay the same if you commit to it. There were passages that talks about letting go, self-reflecting, why's, how's and more.
However, as much as I like most of it, the more I was getting closer to the ending it felt like a chore than a self help book. The essence of learning slowly disappeared as the thought of the passages being repetitive continuously bothered me.
But overall, it's a beautiful book. It definitely helped me and was of service to my healing journey. The reminders of taking one step at a time, being self-aware, being kind to yourself and more. Oh I just love it! I would recommend this to a friend.
To be frank, not every chapters of this book aligns with my beliefs but its satisfying to just read a different view of everything. It allowed me to know that it is possible to change or stay the same if you commit to it. There were passages that talks about letting go, self-reflecting, why's, how's and more.
However, as much as I like most of it, the more I was getting closer to the ending it felt like a chore than a self help book. The essence of learning slowly disappeared as the thought of the passages being repetitive continuously bothered me.
But overall, it's a beautiful book. It definitely helped me and was of service to my healing journey. The reminders of taking one step at a time, being self-aware, being kind to yourself and more. Oh I just love it! I would recommend this to a friend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 1, 2025
4.5 stars rounded up. This was an amazing read for anyone going through a breakup. It was exactly what I needed to hear and it was spot on with the feelings that follow losing someone you love.
The reason I am giving it 4.5 stars instead of 5 is because it was very repetitive. While this is not necessarily a bad thing as I believe the ideas and processes of healing/moving forward need to be drilled into your head, it started to lose its punch when the last few chapters I felt I had already read.
However, overall this was a fantastic book and I will be recommending to anyone who is having a tough time dealing with a breakup. It is also a book that I might refer back to every once in a while. Like this book mentioned, healing isn’t linear.
The reason I am giving it 4.5 stars instead of 5 is because it was very repetitive. While this is not necessarily a bad thing as I believe the ideas and processes of healing/moving forward need to be drilled into your head, it started to lose its punch when the last few chapters I felt I had already read.
However, overall this was a fantastic book and I will be recommending to anyone who is having a tough time dealing with a breakup. It is also a book that I might refer back to every once in a while. Like this book mentioned, healing isn’t linear.
dnf
January 16, 2026A Year Too Late and 200 Pages Too Long
As someone who has been separated for over a year and nearly a year post-divorce, I found this book more frustrating than helpful. At nearly 300 pages, it is incredibly repetitive; the core message gets buried under a "journal-style" narrative that feels more like the author talking to themselves than to the reader.
While this might appeal to someone in the raw, initial "fog" of a breakup, it lacked the substance I needed at this stage of my life. I found myself increasingly annoyed by the tone; it felt indulgent rather than insightful. If you’ve already done the hard work of finding your footing again, this book will likely feel like a step backward. It could, however, be a powerful book for those in the early stages of a breakup.
As someone who has been separated for over a year and nearly a year post-divorce, I found this book more frustrating than helpful. At nearly 300 pages, it is incredibly repetitive; the core message gets buried under a "journal-style" narrative that feels more like the author talking to themselves than to the reader.
While this might appeal to someone in the raw, initial "fog" of a breakup, it lacked the substance I needed at this stage of my life. I found myself increasingly annoyed by the tone; it felt indulgent rather than insightful. If you’ve already done the hard work of finding your footing again, this book will likely feel like a step backward. It could, however, be a powerful book for those in the early stages of a breakup.
June 26, 2025
This is the book you should pick up when you have a broken heart and want to heal or you just got out of a relationship and don't know how to let go, heal and move on. It makes you understand deeply, heals you, teaches you how to fall back in love with yourself and also not hate the other person and gently let them go with love.I loved this book, it helped me through my heartbreak and I'd definitely recommend this book as a self help book. It is a book you should take your own sweet time to consume. It has beautiful poetry too which is the cherry on top.💕
February 3, 2026
an exploration of broken heartedness through the lens of lost romance. found Chang's writings to be good reminders and reflections, though I personally feel most aligned with approaches and feelings to loss that are romance-agnostic. i think we'd all do well to think about these things more outside the context of romantic relationships, as they would help us navigate relationships with others more gently and process grief more calmly. incredibly repetitive; I think this will carry better weight on periodic revisits to certain sections rather than a full re-read.
June 18, 2024
I took my sweet time to read this one as it was a lot to take in. But such an emotional rollercoaster. I’m so thankful this book exists because it reminded me of the true power of love—love within myself. I had so many moments of happiness and memories coming up reading the book, and I cried so much as well. It guided me through a loss, and I know I can get back to this book the moment I need it to remind myself what love is. Thank you for bundling your findings and experience in here!
January 9, 2025
This book completely changed my outlook on how to deal with grief. There are excerpts that helped me with the process of letting go of connections and understanding my emotions. I absolutely loved this book and would recommend it.
“If you want to find peace, you have to be willing to put your sword down.”
“Maybe you were at war with your heart, and you have to be willing to leave the front lines and come home.”
“If you want to find peace, you have to be willing to put your sword down.”
“Maybe you were at war with your heart, and you have to be willing to leave the front lines and come home.”
April 2, 2025
“It’s never about ‘just getting over it’. It’s about getting over it again and again, falling down and getting back up. Healing is never about finishing, it’s about choosing to continue”
I Love This Version Of Myself That You Brought Out is a breakup journal consisting of poems, thought essays and journal entries. It only hits when you’re in your feels, otherwise it’s lots of bla bla bla and repetition (which isn’t unusual for someone trying to process a loss I guess)
I Love This Version Of Myself That You Brought Out is a breakup journal consisting of poems, thought essays and journal entries. It only hits when you’re in your feels, otherwise it’s lots of bla bla bla and repetition (which isn’t unusual for someone trying to process a loss I guess)
April 13, 2025
truly healing and beautiful and well written.
"Because there's this funny thing that happens after heartbreak. You become okay again. You smile again. Things are exciting again".
"The human heart is resilient. It will grow and expand, but only if you let it".
"You send love back to that version of yourself, reminding yourself that it's all part of the process, that it's going to be happy in the end".
"Because there's this funny thing that happens after heartbreak. You become okay again. You smile again. Things are exciting again".
"The human heart is resilient. It will grow and expand, but only if you let it".
"You send love back to that version of yourself, reminding yourself that it's all part of the process, that it's going to be happy in the end".
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