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300 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 4, 2014
“Be reasonable. If I leave you here, you will most likely die, and Guy de Molay wins. Come with me, and you get your chance at retribution. Which option appeals to you more?”Come with him, train to be an assassin. Use her extraordinary strength to be an asset. In return, he will help her get revenge on Guy de Molay.
Junaid did not smile back. His eyes were hard. “I cannot teach you if you are afraid. Faithful Ones are chosen not only because of strength of mind and body, but also strength of character. You will be expelled at the slightest sign of weakness, and I will take you back to the sheepherder’s shed so that you may finish what I interrupted.”Zayn trains, day in and out. She fights. She hones her skills. Not everyone is her friend, in fact, almost nobody is; Zayn is a woman, reviled, distrusted for the rumors regarding her strength. Zayn is hated by her male peers, she is seen as filthy because she is a woman, because she menstruates.
“I speak for many of us when I say this,” Bashar continued, ignoring her. “We do not think she belongs here. She will only cause us trouble. Furthermore, it has come to our attention that she is currently unclean.” He watched Zayn’s jaw drop with relish. “We strongly believe she should abstain from handling holy texts and training with us until she is clean again.”That douchebag.
“Your anger,” he interrupted, his voice firm but gentle. Like his eyes. “She says your passion burns brightly in your face, Zayn. How will you deceive a Frank, a lady, a knight, when your hatred for them is so clearly written in your eyes?”And her own self-loathing because of her rape.
You are ruined, and no man will ever love you.The Setting: This is such an unusual setting, and I absolutely loved it. I can probably count on one hand the number of books with a Middle-Eastern medieval setting. I hate to use the word exotic, but that's what it was. It is different, it is unusual, it's not something you encounter every day in a book. We are taken from small olive-farming villages to the large town of Acre. It is glorious, brilliant with color.
Its domes, spires, and minarets shimmered white in the sun, contrasting brightly with the aquamarine water. Ships from Venice and Genoa and even farther away crowded the harbor, a forest of galleys and pinnaces, all laden with goods. A caravan of bedouin camels traipsed through the dust, carrying bolts of silk and bales of spices.Which mask some very real human suffering as they travel deeper into the kingdom of Jerusalem.
Beggars pulled at her skirts, stretching their disfigured hands out to her in supplication. Blind, legless, leprous—they were all there, hiding in the shade. A one-eyed woman, cradling a tiny baby, peered up at her from within a worn, sun-beaten face. Zayn tossed down her coins and tried to shut the woman—all of them—from her mind. She had never seen such human suffering. And this in the holiest of cities.We are brought into the royal courts, gloriously decorated, wined and dined with sumptuous feasts. There is King Baldwin, the young Leper King of Outremer and his sister, the widowed Queen Sibylla. As far as I can tell, the history and the timeline within this book are historically accurate, nothing sticks out for the worse.
I’m damaged. I’m afraid to trust men. I don’t know how to cope with my feelings for you.Zayn hates herself so much, her rape has changed the way she sees her own body. Zayn thinks she is worthless, she hates her body, she hates her body for what it has brought her.
I’m afraid to love you.
She hated herself, the curves of her body, the hairless skin of her face, her childlike eyes and lips…everything that made her female and feminine.Zayn has to overcome so much in order to trust herself again, and I admire her so much for it.
She detested men and their lust, and she loathed herself for inspiring it in them.
Filth. Nothing but filth.
But there was something else, too…something that maddened her with its simplicity, with its validity: Earic Goodwin. His presence had shattered her focus.She is so obsessed with her conscience sometimes, and how she is perceived by someone she admires that she allows that to fuck with her focus and thus make her lose track of her mission. I liked the fact that she is a warrior, I just wished Zayn was more bad-ass.

She hated herself, the curves of her body, the hairless skin of her face, her child-like eyes and lips… everything that made her female and feminine.
—————
She was no longer genderless, wearing this gown. She was very much a woman, and she hated it. Filth. Filth.


“…I thought my life was over.”
Zayn looked up suddenly, the soapy bath water rippling from her. “Was it?”
Aysha smiled. “No. It was a brutal beginning.”
