Other People's Love Letters: 150 Letters You Were Never Meant to See

by Bill Shapiro

Fevered notes scribbled on napkins after first dates. Titillating text messages. It's-not-you-it's-me relationship-enders. In Other People’s Love Letters , Bill Shapiro has searched America’s attics, closets, and cigar boxes and found actual letters–unflinchingly honest missives full of lust, provocation, guilt, and vulnerability–written only for a lover’s eyes. Modern love, of course, is not all bliss, and in these pages you’ll find the full range of a relationship, with its whispered promises as well as its heartache. But what at first appears to be a deliciously voyeuristic peek into other people’s most passionate moments, will ultimately reawaken your own desires and tenderness…because when you read these letters, you’ll find the heart you’re looking into is actually your own.

• "i think UR great. wanna have wine & Tequila again sometime?"

• "I can't believe you're real, and I think about you constantly in some way or the other all day. I haven't given the finger to anyone driving since I met you."

• "With you I learned how to fight cleaner, how to talk things out better, and how to make a strong loving family out of nothing. These are priceless gifts that I will carry with me the rest of my life. One more thing you did for you left, and I had to get through it."

• "P.S. I look forward to your letters too much to call. Also, where do you stand on chains?"

Genres: Nonfiction, Romance, Art, Adult, Humor, Love, Poetry

192 pages, Hardcover

First published October 30, 2007

Reviews

[Anya · Rating 3 out of 5]

A week ago, I was going through my old notebooks and found a love letter I had written to my ex-boyfriend on his birthday. And I was not ready for the onslaught of emotions that caught me unguarded. Frisson-y feelings aside, I felt like a voyeur reading it because the me who wrote it and the me that I am now are two completely different persons. (I couldn't recognise the wide-eyed girl who spout things such as "In my mind, I like to think of you as my favourite book. In boy form." Who the heck says such cheesy crap???)

Love letters are personal business between two people. And because I am a soppy assclown, I have no compunction in poking my nose in said other people's business.

This book was beautiful, featuring letters from back in the 1930's (those handwritten/typewritten beauties. I found them really charming).

Such as this one-



(Totally reminded me of John Mayer's Half of My Heart, btw. <3)

But I think I couldn't connect to it on a deeper level because these letters/notes were meant for someone else. Still, it was cute and so cuddly! Also, reading the back stories of a few of the letters was endearing.

Also x2, why no letters between lesbian/gay/transgender couples? D: It miffed me a bit.

Bonus Read- This glorious letter was written by Frida Kalho to her husband Diego Rivera. (English translation painstakingly done by me; apologies for any errors.)



"Nothing is comparable to your hands, nor is anything same as the gold-green of your eyes. My body is filled with you for days and days. You are the mirror of the night. The violet light of the lightning.The dampness of the soil. The hollow of your armpits is my haven. All of my happiness is to feel the life which bursts from your flower-fountain that mine keeps to fill (?) all the paths of my nerves that are yours."

[Athena · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I think i enjoy being single. I was very lonely for a long time after we went separate ways. I missed the emotional pulls and pushes, the physical caresses and kisses, and the intellectual challenges you gave me. I've stumble more than once without you to hold me up. And there've been many times when I've had something to share and no one to share it with. I havent met anyone who comes close to you. And, I too think maybe someday...but, I also know that I'm growing in ways I couldn't have grown with you. It's hard to see sometimes, but I know It's true. And I know you too are growing in ways you couldn't have with me. If we're not growing , we couldn't grow together and would have been living a lie. If we reunite let's do it when we are both flourishing not despairing."

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm suprised by the amount of low ratings for this book. I really enjoyed reading the love letters and getting a glimpse into other people's relationships. I liked that they were legitimate letters that people had written- ranging from a young kindergarteners letter to a couple from long ago. I also really enjoyed how at the end there were stories about some of the letters, explaining more about what actually happened with them. All in all this was a very interesting book to read.

[Sabi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved that we got the postscript for some letters!



Loved the formatting: Very clean and easy to read.

[Lolly K Dandeneau · Rating 1 out of 5]

Apparently other people's love letters just aren't that interesting.

[Frances · Rating 4 out of 5]

"He continued traveling and their courtship unfolded almost entirely by mail."

This book reignited my love for letters, I will write poems and letters for the people I love.

[Malbadeen · Rating 2 out of 5]

disappointment #2 in a night spent wandering around Powells. Ya know i go to the hard work of showing up at the book store, putting up with the crowds saying things like, "oh my god! you don't like Jane Austin?! I'm a classics girl, that's the kind of reader I am", you'd think my selective grab-it-on-the-way-to-the-coffee-shop-method would reap some better materials. but Noooooooooo.....
as I read this letters i mostly felt awkward for the people that wrote them, in how trite they sounded and was reminded AGAIN how unoriginal everything (even emotions) is.
There were a few i liked, one that was written over a picture of cake that said "I love you like a fat kid loves cake" another that was a looooooooooooong list of things someone noticed about another person and one that was a picture of a map with two birds stamped on either side of a river, a line connecting them and a something about distances not being insurmountable (?) but all in all it was like: "i love you, your beautiful blah, blah, blah"

[karen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was too exited to read this book, and the more I read the more disappointed I was, it wasn't interesting for a while. Then I realized why, because it wasn't my love letters. I have no idea whom they were for, I bet that these people's letters made so much more sense to them and they drank every word up of these letters and enjoyed they so much more than a stranger (like me) ever could, because I wouldn't never understand. And just like that I realized how uniquely we are able to love, how different love can be for every person.

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interested in more of my reviews? Visit my blog!

’You should know…that still my life is consumed by you.’

This was an interesting little book that I was not expecting to like as much as I did. The title of the book may be ‘Other People’s Love Letters’ but they aren’t all your standard love letters. These are rejection letters, text messages, telegrams, breakup letters, letters of apology, but there are also true love letters that honestly had me crying at times. I quite enjoyed how some of these letters even included a postscript with explanations on some of the letters, or of details on what transpired after the letters were written.

’And I shall love you until I draw my last breath, and beyond.’

This was a charming collection of letters although I would have made slight adjustments if it was up to me. I found that there were several that disrupted the flow of the book as a whole because they were written about occurrences that of course we had no knowledge of. I found those in particular to be confusing and disjointed and felt that if they were removed the book would have been better for it.

[Sonia · Rating 5 out of 5]

It feels like looking inside the windows of multiple apartments and seeing snippets of these lives and loves that people have felt so passionately. It feels voyeuristic and yet so satisfying to know how they feel. Sometimes you want to know how things ended and then realise you don't have the right to. It just made me so... Happy.

[Sonja · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thought there were going to be some cute, sweet love letters but most were super cheesy and/or boring😴

[Erin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed being a sanctioned voyeur with this book. There's something about other people's correspondence, particularly romantic correspondence, that I find hard to resist.

I felt ok about being a voyeur (and so was able to enjoy the book) because the letters were reprinted with permission of the author, or in some cases, the author's closest living relative. Some of these letters were very, very private and it would feel wrong to read them behind someone's back, as it were. But since they were cool with it, I could be as well!

I think I also enjoyed this because I am in a committed relationship. The letters reminded me of our own courtship, our current relationship, and even our future. They made me feel quite sappy towards my husband but I think they would have made me sad if I were not in a relationship.

At the end of the book we get a little more background and/or aftermath of a few of the letters. I liked having the context of some but not all of the letters, leaving the rest up to my imagination (much like Pete's Unsent Love Letters, in fact. If you enjoyed this you chould give those a try too.)

All in all quite enjoyable for a quiet evening's read.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

think found.com meets postsecret.com meets a dusty shoebox of letters in the attic meets text messages... quite well-balanced in terms of including the dear johns, the honeymoon love bliss, the break-ups, make-ups, hate mail, sext messages, historical sonnets, etc.

Addictive, really.

One of my favorites, inscribed on an airplane sick bag:

"What I really feel...
If you were here now,
I would kiss you.
I would hold your hand and
look at you with wonder.
And then, if you would let me,
I would kiss you again.
And again.
And again.
[back side]
If you were here now
we'd get in trouble.
The stewardesses would have to
pull us apart, then send one
to sit up front and the other
in back.
We'd get a scolding at the
airport, an asterisk by our
names for future flights,
then released, promising to never
ever again salsa dance with
[line crossed out]
the seatbelt light on."

[Stephanie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought some of the letters in the book were interesting to read, but I thought some of them didn't really need to be in there also. On top of that, I felt really weird reading this book, in an invasion-of-privacy type of way; which is I guess the point of the book to begin with, as far as using people's awkward letters to show real life. But really, was it necessary? It's like trying to read self-tabloids. Who volunteers emails they've written to their ex-spouse concerning their divorce for a book?

[Angela · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not sure how to review a book like this because it has no characters. But i've had this book for a while and it just laid around my house as one of those books that its just always there and you never read.. Butttt since my group was having a challenge for valentines day i thought hey what the heck why not? And im glad because it was so cute! I loved getting to read these cute little letters some on napkins and some even typed. Absolutely adorable. Deffinatly a cute read for valentines day.

[Phinny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cried. I laughed. I was confused. I was disgusted. I was intrigued. The gauntlet of emotions that this book produces is endless. I was glad to get this from the library if not just to have something different to look at. Some of these stories touched my soul so profoundly that I wrote a letter to my loved one just to make sure that maybe in 100 years someone will read it and know that love is all shapes and sizes and has endless amounts of beauty.

[Gem ~ZeroShelfControl~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautiful, thought provoking, romantic, and full of both joy and sadness. Will come back to this again and again and I'm sure I will see things previously missed and feel things not felt before! Wonderful!

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is more "other people's letters about love" than "other people's love letters" because a good portion were breakup letters. I liked that there were several different flavours of love. Childish love, mature love, new love, old love. I really enjoyed the explanations/updates at the end, and wish there had been more.

Some of the images were quite grainy and difficult to read and some two-page spreads were illegible because the pages were obscured by the spine. I would've appreciated a higher production quality.

[AMI ☽ · Rating 5 out of 5]

how terribly humane it is to love. some of these letters made me want to weep, and i love how we got postscripts for some letters!

[Apgepps · Rating 4 out of 5]

Exactly what it promises to be, nice coffee table book.
*cries in single*

[Pietro · Rating 3 out of 5]

I clutched my chest at a few of these but perhaps I expected more.

[Aditi B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some of the love letters were funny, some that resonated and some which were absolutely heart wrenching. What could have been said and what was not said - it’s all there.

[jess · Rating 4 out of 5]

love letters are this secret, complicated communication zone where we produce material with the intention of only one person ever reading it. at least i know i do... and then, in this book, we can read everyone else's secret love notes, break-up letters, anniversary poems, text messages, emails, sweet comics, and even a myspace message. the amazing thing is how very much these letters and notes are just like the material produced by our own relationships. there are love letters from 1939 and 2007, letters between couples who have never met each other and couples that have been married for 40 years, and the sentiment is the same. there's none of that canned hallmark "roses are red" shit in here. this is actual crayons and typewriters and perfect, perfect, perfect handwriting (i have a handwriting obsession lately. oh, penmanship, the lost art). i mean, you can practically feel these people gazing at each other with soft backlighting and gentle grateful caresses, or glaring across a table in florescent-lit divorce proceedings. whether they met at a soda shoppe or on jdate.com, just one letter sucked me into their world. it was like a mirror to my heart's own longing.

shapiro has a gift for compiling unrelated material from strangers in a way that is poignant without being too contrived. all of the living authors gave permission for their letters to be published - the nearest living relatives of the dead authors gave their permission. i did wish that i could read a book of love letters where the author would NOT give permission for publishing, but i am nosey like that. my favorite letter was probably the child's scrawl in crayon "PHoebe I love yoU And I MIghT marrY yOu! JaCOb."(the accompanying picture includes a little boy, presumably JaCOb, beaming a care-bear-stare-style laser beam of pink hearts towards a cute girl, presumably PHoebe)

by the end, i felt a lot better about the state of relationships in our world today. there's got to be something real about this "love" shit if so many people experience it in such similar ways over and over again. i come from a background in science, you know, where variables need to be independently tested to produce real data and i feel like the emotions we stir up when our chemistry lines up with the planets and we see a cute face across a room and end up waking up next to them for a couple of decades; well, it's an independently-verifiable fact.

[Danica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Much less than I expected. What was I expecting? Tales of anguish and redemption springing off each page; a book of pop-up love stories, the kind that can unfold a castle before your eyes. The problem I suspect with collating love letters in a venture of this sort is that you get a self-selecting population that reads and responds to open calls for materials published in books of this kind. That was an overly elaborate way of saying that if you were an alien reading this book you’d be convinced that white middle-class urbanites have this love thing staked out all for themselves, and that the rest of the earth either doesn’t feel or doesn’t write. Still, took down some useful lines (“You’re beautiful. By the way. Where do you stand on chains?”). Some jubilant. Some embittered. Some I will be reusing in smutty fanfic. Ha ha ha.

[jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

Exactly as the title describes, this is a book of love/anguish letters collected from as far back as 100 years ago. Some are very brief and get to the point, others are long, passionate, reprimanding and cover about every other emotion that can enliven or thwart a relationship. Some favorites are the e-mail that begins:

"Ken, I would definitely advise you to cultivate your courting skills. Months of emailing do not a relationship make."

Or the 1939 letter from a young wife telling her new husband that his idea for a children's clothing store is "swell" but "the idea of having midgets as clerks isn't so very practical." And as proof of how love has changed a life, one note includes the info that "...I haven't gave the finger to anyone driving since I met you..." Sweet.

[Temoca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoy these books, gathering little snipets of writing. I tend to go for these to help buld ideas for writing lessons in my classroom. The great thing is, you can always find a few that call out to you. So while some don't apply or you don't understand, others do and it's different for everyone. This helps me to show my students all the possibilities in writing. I would pick and choose which pieces to bring into the classroom depending on the grade level and appropriateness.

I also love that I shared some of this reading with my daughter and we could come together over different pieces. We enjoyed some of the same letters and others spoke to her more, so we could talk about it and have a great time together over little pieces of writing.

[Bfg1971 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Came downstairs this morning and this was on the counter. Picked it up, glanced at it, and put it down. Walked away, got coffee, picked it back up, and I tore through it. Funny, sweet, disturbing, and sad all at the same time. A little voyeuristic romp through other people's most intimate moments. If you aren't careful, you might see a little bit of yourself in it.

[Keera · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. I'm a huge fan of Post-Secret, Found, and Mortified. I would read one letter and then flip back to the Postscript section to find out what happened to the pair. This letters made me smile, laugh, and a few even brought me to tears. It took me only a few hours to read, but I really enjoyed the ride.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some are heartbreaking, some are hopeful, some are so convoluted I wondered what the receiver saw in the sender. All made me hopeful about love. The best part of the book was reading the behind the scenes of the letters: which relationships made it, which ones didn't.

[Jenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was planning to give this book three stars because I was upset by the feeling of being left hanging and not knowing how the stories ended, but alas! A postscript at the end earned a fourth star. Cute book.