Traveling Solo: A Life Well Lived, A Death Well Planned

by Diana E Williams

“This is a beautiful book, rich in humanity, wisdom, and humor. It is going to help a lot of people.”

—Anne Lamott

After years of battling a mysterious illness, Diana Williams chose to end her life. This extraordinary and intimate memoir, written in the months before her death, bravely explores the profound How much suffering is enough?

For three decades, Williams relentlessly pursued a cure for the symptoms that plagued grinding exhaustion, night sweats that drenched the sheets, brain fog that made her forget her own address, and throbbing headaches and chills that left her bedridden for days. Dozens of specialists diagnosed her with everything from multiple sclerosis to Lyme disease to toxic mold exposure and prescribed grueling, expensive, and ultimately, ineffective treatments.

Hope vanished with each failed therapy, and her symptoms grew worse. Rather than face a life of increasing pain and disability, and after deep contemplation, Williams chose assisted dying at the Swiss nonprofit, Dignitas.

Traveling Solo raises questions millions of people ask, too often in What makes life worth living? How much can one person bear? Most of all, should we afford humans the choice to end their lives on their own terms?

More than a chronicle of one woman’s battle with illness, this is also a story of a family coming to terms with a heartbreaking decision, as well as an ode to abiding friendship.

Published posthumously, Traveling Solo was written to inspire meaningful conversations and compassion for those who choose to die rather than endure continued suffering. It offers a candid portrait of the fragility of life and the preciousness of beauty when one’s days are numbered.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

208 pages, Hardcover

Published May 21, 2024

Reviews

[Lilisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Plagued by years of living with an undiagnosed illness, the late author Diane Williams made the decision to end her life and chose the day she would die with dignity. That practice not being legal in the U.S., she connected with Dignitas, a nonprofit in Switzerland, where this process is legal for individuals who are of sound mind and are able to personally administer their own potion, no one else can assist. (This latter point I learned from another book - In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss by Amy Bloom) About 80 percent of the book focuses on the challenges Diane Williams experienced not only with her illness that had no distinct pattern - there were periods of utter exhaustion, headaches, and later memory issues, but the added stress of not being able to get a true diagnosis. As well, she tried numerous costly unconventional and unproven routes doing her own internet research that seemed a bit suspect, that didn’t yield a specific diagnosis either. The author’s decision to go the death with dignity route - with Dignitas - occurs toward the end of the book. While there was brief information about how Dignitas works, I felt the book could been a lot stronger if more insights and details could have been shared about this part. (In that regard, Amy Bloom’s book shares a lot more insight that may be useful to readers.) I also felt that since this was the one major decision that the author felt she could and did make amidst all the other unknowns of her undiagnosed illness, that more focus would have been vested in this section. But I do understand the magnitude of what she was dealing resulting from thr overwhelming and final decision she made. I hope this book does “inspire meaningful conversations” as the author desired. Many thanks to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had trouble reading this book because it was very well written, but also deeply disturbing. I felt sad that despite going to so many doctors and attempting to understand the scientific literature, I never saw a clear example in the book where she went to a clinician who didn’t offer some form of pseudoscience. I also feel deeply sad for her daughters. I am not someone who is against assisted suicide, but something about this particular circumstance just didn’t sit right with me. It feels disrespectful to the author to speculate further given that she has already passed.

[Kama Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for allowing me to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review


Title: Traveling Solo

Rating: ★★★★

In "Traveling Solo" author Diana William delivers a poignant and beautifully written narrative that chronicles the life of a woman who defies the odds in the face of chronic illness and misdiagnosis for over three decades. Through her struggles, triumphs, and ultimate decision to take control of her destiny through assisted suicide, this book offers a compelling exploration of autonomy, resilience, and the complexities of living with chronic illness.

The protagonist's journey is nothing short of inspiring. From the initial despair of being misdiagnosed to the relentless pursuit of answers and treatments, readers are taken on an emotional rollercoaster as she navigates the challenges of her condition. Despite the countless setbacks and moments of doubt, her unwavering determination shines through, painting a portrait of strength and resilience that is both admirable and deeply moving.

What sets this narrative apart is its unflinching portrayal of the protagonist's decision to end her life through assisted suicide. Through thoughtful prose and raw emotion, the author delicately navigates the sensitive subject matter, presenting it not as a defeat, but as a powerful assertion of autonomy and agency over one's own body. The decision is portrayed not as an act of weakness, but as a courageous choice made after careful consideration and reflection—a testament to the protagonist's unwavering resolve and unyielding spirit.

The writing itself is exquisite, with lyrical prose that captivates the reader from the very first page. The author has a remarkable ability to evoke a wide range of emotions, from heartache and despair to hope and triumph, making for a deeply immersive reading experience. Each sentence is imbued with meaning and depth, inviting readers to contemplate the complexities of the human experience and the fragility of life itself.

While "Traveling Solo" is undeniably a heartbreaking read, it is also a profoundly empowering one. Through the protagonist's journey, readers are reminded of the importance of self-determination and the inherent value of every individual's lived experience. It is a story that lingers long after the final page is turned, challenging readers to reconsider their own beliefs and perceptions surrounding illness, autonomy, and the right to choose.

In conclusion, "Traveling Solo" is a beautifully written and deeply affecting story of courage, resilience, and the power of self-determination. With its compelling narrative and thought-provoking themes, it is a book that resonates on a profound level, leaving an indelible mark on the reader's heart and mind. Highly recommended for anyone seeking a powerful and thought-provoking exploration of the human experience.

[Sheila · Rating 4 out of 5]

After suffering from a mysterious flulike illness for over 30 years that sapped her energy and strength, Diana Williams had had enough. She began pursuing options to end her life and settled upon going to Dignitas, a nonprofit organization in Switzerland offering physician-assisted suicide. She died on January 11th of this year at age 64. This is her memoir, published posthumously.

I heard about this book on Diane Rehm’s podcast where she interviewed Diana shortly before her death. I was struck by her youthful voice and articulate manner enough to want to read her book.

As I read, I found myself feeling empathy for Diana and all she went through- various diagnoses of MS, Lyme disease, mold exposure and more. Her life was consumed by her pursuit of healing. Somehow in the midst of her suffering, she managed to marry, have 2 children,travel and work. In addition to her illness, she was in a car accident a few years ago that left her with a traumatic brain injury and severe depression. Her marriage ended, but her ex remained committed to supporting her in her struggles. He, along with her 2 daughters, her mother and her best friend accompanied her to Switzerland for her final journey.

Although I supported Diana’s right to make the decision to end her life, I finished the book feeling uneasy. I couldn’t help but wonder why an answer couldn’t be found. From my other reading ( The Myth of Normal, The Body Keeps the Score ), I wondered if there was hidden trauma affecting her body that psychotherapy might have uncovered and helped her to process in order to heal. She mentions her therapist in the book but doesn’t detail any exploration of a possible mind-body cause of her illness.

I came away with two takeaways from my reading. One is that the medical profession still has so far to go in truly healing those with chronic illness. And the second is that Diana, despite her illness, had a blessed life. The love of her family and close friends shine through the pages of her book. My hope and prayer is that they find peace and healing in the coming months as they process their loss.

[Megz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. I’ve read a few books around “death with dignity” and “the right to die”, but none have hit me quite as hard as this little memoir. Short enough to read in a single sitting, it lacks unnecessarily flowery prose, without being cold or inured to a life with chronic illness, and looming death.

Perhaps because I have a particular interest in chronic invisible illness and pain management, reading about Diana Williams’s journey offers an unblinking look at the frustrations and anger of patients with chronic pain and debilitating illness. The doctor hopping, the promised fad cures, the expenses. I am often surprised by how easily charlatans in the USA get to call themselves “doctor”, and how many “treatments” are allowed based on underpowered, poorly-controlled studies.

I did see a reviewer complaining that too much time is spent on Diana’s life journey, and not enough of her experience with Dignitas. Personally, knowing her story made all the difference to me. I can read about Dignitas on the internet. But Diana’s painstaking experiences, and her repeated efforts to live a beautiful, expansive life, adds way more texture to her memoir.

I found myself getting so angry at the way the author’s illness(es) were handled. I really, really feel that if someone who wasn’t obsessed with “healing pathways”, “energies”, mould, and whatnot, were to have a proper look at her… maybe they could have helped her better, before her life became one of pain and debility.

So for me, while we know that the memoir ultimately ends with the author’s death, it is so much more than a book about assisted suicide - it is a book about wellness and illness, the market for cures, and the far-reaching effects of untreated chronic illness.

Thank you to Netgalley and Amplify Publishing for providing this eARC.

[Leslie · Rating 4 out of 5]

n this memoir, the author explores her experience having a long-term chronic illness and the journey that eventually leads her to decide on choosing to die with assistance at Dignitas, a Swiss organization that performs medical aid in dying. Ms. Williams' experience in the medical system seeing multiple medical providers and unscrupulous charlatans while undergoing numerous medical procedures at their behest did get a little repetitive at times but then again-- imagine how much more frustrating it must have felt to experience that as opposed to simply reading about it. I enjoyed the descriptions of life outside of the illness as well. The discussion of medical aid in dying/assisted suicide is one that is near and dear to my heart, as a family member is currently considering it as an option, so I was eager to read another person's experience with the same organization. I understand where Ms. Williams was coming from and I wish her peace in her death. I'd recommend this book for anyone curious about assisted suicide or who doesn't understand why one might want to seek it.


Thank you to Netgalley for the ARC.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

This was a tough one to read, for many reasons. I felt for the author and her years of suffering at the hands of a mysterious illness. I was frustrated at the lack of certainty that the doctors exhibited, leading the author to put her faith (and money) in untested and unusual healing methods that turned out to be bogus medicine. I empathized with her friends and family who desperately wanted to help her, but either couldn't or didn't know how. And, of course, I was appalled that the situation had gotten so dire that the author felt her life would be better ended than lived in unexplained amounts of pain. I was upset for her, that so many things she loved - jobs, hiking, running - were taken away from her because her illness had no name or cure. I was impressed by her willingness to force herself out of her comfort zone, both physically and mentally, in order to start the program at the jail where she saw a need and worked hard to fill it. I hope that, despite her illness, she knows the good she did in her life and that she is now at peace.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a difficult read about a woman who had been suffering with a debilitating illness (MS) for many years, and then decided to end her life. Dignitas is a Swiss organization that does not require an individual be terminally ill to end one's life. After pursuing all available treatments, the author connects with Dignitas and, as per their legal protocol, makes arrangements to go to Switzerland and end her life. Her recollections and emotions all the way are poignant. There is no commentary or input from family members or friends. Her own exploration of her right to die in the face of insufferable circumstances is the subject of this book.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about a woman who has chronic illness and depression and is poked and prodded and abused by the healthcare system. In her 60’s she says enough and decides to end her life with Swedish law that gives the right to die.

[Rebecca Abundis · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author was selfish for killing herself when she had 2 daughters in their 20s.