Medical Gaslighting: How to Get the Care You Deserve in a System that Makes You Fight for Your Life

by Ilana Jacqueline

Our healthcare system is broken. But it doesn’t have to break you. This practical, realistic guide is designed to help women fight medical bias and neglect in order to get the care they need—and deserve.For women, the possibility of experiencing medical gaslighting—having a health care provider dismiss or ignore their concerns without considering appropriate testing or creating a treatment plan—has always been a very real and present danger, with consequences ranging from self-doubt and emotional stress to delayed diagnosis and death. And being a woman of color, transgender, or disabled only compounds the risk.Today, more women are aware of medical gaslighting than ever—but awareness isn’t enough. In Medical Gaslighting, you’ll equip yourself with the tools you need to be fully heard at every step of the process, the ability to request, revise, and read your electronic medical records so you and your medical team are on the same page.Responding effectively when you recognize the signs, language, and scenarios associated with medical gaslightingGive yourself a fighting chance against common  medical bias by being mindful of  how you present yourself as a patient. With expert advice and stories from women across the medical spectrum who fought medical gaslighting and lived to tell their stories, patient advocate (and rare disease patient), Ilana Jacqueline provides a combat guide for increasing your confidence—and success—when advocating for your health.You might have to get naked in the exam room, but you don’t have to walk in unarmed. Medical Gaslighting is your guide to taking control of your healthcare.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health, Self Help, Medicine, Audiobook, Medical, Feminism

264 pages, Paperback

Published October 1, 2024

About the author

Ilana Jacqueline is a patient, an advocate, and the author of the books Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness and Medical Gaslighting: How to Get the Care You Deserve in a System That Makes You Fight for Your Life. Ilana was diagnosed with hypogammaglobulinemia at age nineteen and has since devoted her career to patient advocacy and disease understanding. She is a Director of Influencer Relations at Health Union and advocacy strategist on Instagram and TikTok. You can learn more about her work on www.ilanajacqueline.com.

Reviews

[Nyx Lewis-Schmidt · Rating 4 out of 5]

I almost cried at the first chapter of this book - it hit me hard, as a chronically ill person who has dealt with a lot of medical gaslighting.

While there were parts that were pretty American-specific in the advice, I still found this book valuable and meaningful as a Canadian. Some parts were hard to read, because it validated the deep fears I have about the consequences of medical gaslighting on my health. You don't always want to be proven right. But it was good too, to be reminded that I need to trust myself and fight for my health.

I would recommend this book for any women or AFAB people dealing with chronic illness, but especially Americans.

[kashiichan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was difficult to rate. It contains a LOT of useful information, including scripts to use and suggestions for how to handle different scenarios you may encounter in medical settings. However it is also very American, and doesn't consider people who are less privileged than the author (PoC, neurodivergent, queer, trans, intellectually disabled, don't have support/carers, etc). I think it's still worth the read, but folks might want to check their local library before buying a copy of their own.

[Mary Anne]

5 STARS

How this book ended up on my TBR: Have I mentioned that my library is phenomenal? Like many libraries, mine has a bunch of books clustered by the registered; most are usually new or just seem very timely. I needed to stock up for my library being closed for 2 months to move to their permanent location. How could I *not* read this book?

Prior to checking out this book, I was unfamiliar with Jacqueline, and I now very much want to read her first book, Surviving and Thriving: How to Stay Sane, Calm the Chaos, and Live One Step Ahead of Your Most Inconvenient Symptoms. For background: Jacqueline was diagnosed with hypogammaglobulinemia at age nineteen and is a strong patient advocate, due in no small part to her lengthy experience with the medical establishment. She does share a lot of herself and her journey in this book, and I appreciated her transparency, even as sat horrified at reading about everything she's gone through. Jacqueline explores the term medical gaslighting, why it happens, how it happens, and how to deal with it. She shares multiple experiences, including some from others who have sent her their stories, where patients were doubted and put down by their doctors, often with the result of life-threatening circumstances. This is not to say that Jacqueline is anti-doctor; rather, she is anti-gaslighting-doctor, someone who refuses to actually listen to their patients and work with them in a healthy relationship. To that end, Jacqueline actually spoke to some health professionals in the process of writing this book.

You can imagine that this book is for any person who ever felt that their doctor just didn't listen to them. As a fat person, I've had my fair share of them, and Jacqueline points out that women are especially likely to be gaslit by their doctors, more so if they are fat, not white, etc. Many people will feel heard as a result of this book, and the author's sincere hope is that women feel inspired to speak up for themselves and take an active role in their relationships, including relationships with their doctors. She provides a whole host of practical tips, from how to prepare for appointments, to how to handle gaslighting in the moment, to what to do after the appointment. I absolutely recommend it to anyone.

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PS. If you all ever go to The StoryGraph, let's be friends there! Here's my profile.

[Mel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good example of a book that everyone should read. Everyone will need medical attention at some point, whether it’s urgent or routine, and unfortunately everyone is also likely experience bad or burnt out medical professionals standing in the way of their own care. With a lot of things it’s not your fault and you can only control what you do in response to being gaslit by someone you expected to help not further burden you… it’s a heavy read but in no way too academic. It reads like a friend would sharing their nightmare experience with you so you can learn from it too.

[Lula · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know I’m gonna go against the grain here but this book made me angry and left me feeling unsatisfied by the end of it.

Before I explain why I want to acknowledge what I did find good about it because my opinion is layered and I still have a lot of respect for the huge amount of energy that must have gone into writing this.

First of all it did bring me some slight comfort and ideas. I enjoyed the first part that delved into the history of medical gaslighting and its reasons for existing. Although a bit short and sometimes too simplified for the sake of efficiency, it was very interesting and made me reflect on why doctors feel such confidence to gaslight patients and why we should feel confident that they’re wrong when they do so. I liked that.

It also made me more than ever aware that the way I’ve been abused doesn’t start nor end with me, unlike what some doctors want you to believe. And that’s thanks to how similar some of the experiences related in this book were to mine despite coming from people I’ve never met, who live in whole different countries than me. You can’t make that shit up. It is absolutely systemic. And this very idea is hard to hold onto, just like your sanity, when it seems like doctors live in whole separate realities to their patients. Especially because their reality is the one prevailing always because they’re in power. And they make it so that you’re not allowed to call it what it is in front of them and that’s beyond damaging in the long run. So I’m always in for a reminder that this is all made up bollocks and that in that sense at least I am absolutely not alone. I also really liked the part about diagnoses of exclusion made me feel emboldened to not let them pin one on me unfairly which I’ve been fighting against for years, but needed a reminder of my reasons why as well so for that I’m thankful.

I will also take this with me: « When you are not given the chance to speak, or your well-developed arguments are shut down-know that defeat is not having to leave a bad doctor. Defeat is choosing to not seek care elsewhere because of them. » this is an idea that comes back often throughout the book in different ways that did bring me some form of solace and that I will try to hold onto in situations where it applies. This and the fact that one doctor dismissing you is just one doctor with one opinion and set of knowledge, bias and skills. Nothing more definitive than that. (Unless they injure or kill you, or stain your record that is)

But the thing is this book did not make me feel much more guided, when it comes to knowing what else I could possibly do to challenge this and save myself. If anything it left me more aware of in just how many ways I am powerless to do anything against the forces at play.

I did already know about or have tried a lot of her suggestions through the years and they have not been sufficient to get me the help I desperately need. And except for a few, most of the others are things that either cannot apply because I am not american (which I mean, fair, those were specifically dedicated to americans) or they are things I cannot do because of who I am and my own complex circumstances. It makes applying said advice and getting something out of it much more complicated for some of us than what the author imagines.

Because there are, ironically, many biases through which this book is written, some that she’s aware of and disclaims sure. Alas I’m not sure she realizes that it directly affects the way she writes and thinks but it did jump to my face a lot. I think a lot of the author’s abilities to fight for herself through the years and to find coping mechanisms stem from being able to conform to the system in her own way. Because despite the things she is discriminated against for, she still is « normal » enough to the system’s eyes (from what she says about herself at least). And I felt throughout the book that her arguments didn’t account for those of us who absolutely cannot do that or be that to -literally- save our lives, through no fault of our own, and who also don’t have caregivers to fall back on like she seemed to assume we all do, a couple of times.

I understand that this book couldn’t be everything nor account for every single nuance of the disabled or chronically ill experience. As a result of that it’s impossible that the advice in here could be absolutely universal. The problem is I felt like all book long it was still trying to persuade me that it was in fact, universal. That it was absolutely what I needed to do and if I didn’t it meant I didn’t value my life enough. And that’s what probably pissed me off the most about it. I’m already made to feel like it’s my fault that I am as sick as I am, I don’t need a book to add to it by telling me it’s also because I’m not fighting hard enough. When the reason I cannot fight as hard as the author has is because I face a different set of challenges.

I feel like if you’re suffering from moderate to severe myalgic encephalomyelitis for example, being told to do everything that she tells you to do feels a bit crazy. When things like pushing through, doing a million admin stuff and research and carry yourself through a shit ton of appointments is not only impossible but straight up dangerous to us.

And the only alternative to that she inserts in her writing is to have your caregiver do it for you. As if, again, we all automatically had a caregiver when we can’t fight the system ourselves. Sounds wonderful, and should be the case for all in a perfect world, but in reality so many of us are left for dead AND can’t fend for ourselves. That’s hard to wrap one’s head around I know, I struggle too with how unfair that shit is.

But it’s not just M.E, it’s also things like autism, or some mental illnesses that can impact your ability to prepare yourself for appointments, or defend yourself when you’re at one, in the way the system expects you to. (There’s a reason why I couldn’t have a job, way before I became physically ill). These things can mean a lower tolerance and ability to navigate social situations and high stress situations. A few positive mantras, and deep breaths can’t always suffice to get you out of these situations and compose yourself to play the game. Some of us can’t deal with regular implied social rules, navigating this ‘game’ to get help with doctors is pure torture. It’s not just medical trauma that can make you freeze. Try coupling it with pre existing mental health conditions. It’s a fucking cruel and impossible disaster of a situation to be in to say the least.

I think this also missed from the mental health chapter. The complexity of having a mental illness or neurodevelopment disability and fighting to get an adequate diagnosis or treatment in a world where you are not allowed to be both physically and mentally disabled especially not as someone perceived as a woman. That chapter was probably my least favourite for other reasons as well, like some therapies suggested for medical trauma made me raise my eyebrows a bit because of how inaccessible they are to certain levels of chronic illnesses. Which is one of the biggest problematic when it comes to psychological help for physically disabled folks: accessibility of treatments, and acknowledgment of how mental illness and physical illness intersect. There’s dangerous and inadequate advice in there too (like going to better help) I’d take with a massive grain of salt.

In the same vein, I felt like the lens through which she perceives things is very ingrained in american culture. I’m talking about the whole hustle culture and accomplishing your full potential thing they have over there. That’s just me being picky though. It just peeves me when I hear the whole « My biggest dream is to be able to work a full time job » from disabled advocates like props to you but no thanks, unlike what abled people who hate our guts want me to say, that’s the only thing I do not dream about. I would love some quality of life for literally anything else. Also absolutely hate reading stories about how ppl throw up and pump themselves full of painkillers in between work assignments and never ever complain out loud of being in pain or being tired like girlbosses. It is absolutely FUCKED that disability benefits are so hard to get that anyone would have to push through this way, and my heart feels for anyone who has to. And I also know that there’s a systemic reason for ppl socialized as women for getting shit done through their pain and masking it but I just hate how we normalize it by making it an almost badge of honor of how strong we are? Also what does it mean for those of us who won’t or can’t do that? I don’t know it’s more complex than that sure but I hated this mentality that was seeping through in between lines still. No one’s life’s worth is weighed by how much they’re able to accomplish. I don’t know that the author would disagree with me on that necessarily but it’s the little bits of the culture that leads to that kind of thinking that I was disliking throughout the text.

Then there was the cissexist bias I had a hard time mentally dissociating through as a non binary person affected by medical misogyny. I do enough of that as someone living with a wrongfully categorized « woman illness » (endo). It’s hard to find support and care spaces where you don’t have to numb yourself to hearing gendered language about yourself. Not a fun time to have to do it through 241 pages of text. Especially at the end when the author talks to its reader directly and calls you a woman lol. Yes there is a disclaimer at the beginning of the book about this and I do understand that it is easier to not include us but feels a lot like well… What they do with science and sex. Bit tired of this. I felt the lack of real knowledge of how queerness affect your medical care quite evident too in the medical bias chapter when we’re just a mere half page of discussion at the end, no testimony for that part either. While I’m glad the author didn’t talk about what she didn’t know, cause doing the opposite can sometimes be way worse, this part missing was felt a lot in her book in my opinion. Would have made for a very interesting part as well, with how tragically gaslit and not researched enough trans patients are. And it does intersect hugely with how women are treated as well cis or not.

Also I’m not sure what her views are on this but all the « during covid » (implied: past tense) tidbits really pissed me off as well. Covid is still going strong and disabling massively and killing people as we speak. Having denialism of that even seep through the chronic illness community will never cease to blow my mind. But again, unsure what her views are exactly and could have taken this the wrong way.

All of that being said, maybe if I had one last complaint it would be about the prose itself. It was straightforward which made it mostly easy to follow but tried too hard to give itself substance very awkwardly. There was a lot of adding flowery adjectives and descriptors in places where it felt insensitive to do so, notably when relaying patients testimonies about abuse or in one instance rape. Or when talking about our genitals and what is done to them. Absolutely wanted to shriek a couple of times. Also there were too many enumerations in some sentences that felt super clunky. A few sentences I just straight up could not decipher what they meant because of their odd syntax. And I feel like an asshole for saying so because who the fuck am I to talk lol it’s hard as fuck to write when you’re in pain and fatigued too. But still was something that was repetitive enough that it disturbed my focus at times. I do think there was a severe lack of references too throughout the book which made me feel skeptical at times in the same manner a pop psychology short video would I’d say. There were a few footnotes, but when they did exist there were often just links to websites and not really more than that.

I know that’s a lot of negative opinions about a book I’ve rated 3 stars. I genuinely think it’s not all bad at all, and I don’t necessarily regret reading it. I will probably go back to some of it to use it in the future for my own medical appointments. It did also teach me stuff even if it left me feeling very perplexed. And I do think some people could benefit from the advice shared, if not from the testimonies themselves that are evidence that we’re all being shat over by this system. I appreciate that it exists and it’s always good to have books about these topics to open the door to more of them. I just keep hoping for a book like this that will be more inclusive and radical in his stances about disability justice as well but haven’t found it yet alas.

I think I’m mostly done with this extremely long review and will probably crash the fuck out for writing it which I already regret. I just had to lay this down because I spent so much time and energy on reading this book I needed to remember how it left me feeling and what I had thought of it as well.

[Mary Coward · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unfortunately I could relate to this! Definitely a must read for everyone!!

[Amanda May · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this is a must read for anyone and everyone who has ever felt the weight of not being heard or respected on the patient side of healthcare. I especially feel I can take what I’ve heard and learned on this book into my own role at the bedside both in my current role now and in my future as a nurse.

[J Kromrie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for this eARC.

Ilana Jacqueline’s Medical Gaslighting is a powerful and essential read for anyone who has ever felt dismissed or ignored by the healthcare system. This book is not just a guide; it’s a lifeline for those navigating the often frustrating and disheartening world of medical care.

Jacqueline tackles the pervasive issue of medical gaslighting, where healthcare providers dismiss or undermine patients’ concerns, often leading to misdiagnosis or inadequate treatment. Drawing from her own experiences and those of others, she provides a comprehensive toolkit for recognizing and combating this harmful practice.

This book is meticulously organized, starting with an exploration of what medical gaslighting is and why it happens. Jacqueline then delves into practical strategies for patients to advocate for themselves effectively. Each chapter is filled with actionable advice, from how to prepare for medical appointments to understanding and managing medical records.

Jacqueline includes numerous personal stories that highlight the real-world impact of medical gaslighting. These narratives are heart-wrenching yet inspiring, showcasing the resilience of patients who have fought for their right to be heard.

This book is rich with practical advice, such as how to document symptoms accurately, ask the right questions, and handle dismissive behavior from healthcare providers. Jacqueline’s tips are designed to empower patients to take control of their healthcare journey.

Jacqueline’s background as a patient advocate shines through, offering readers expert insights into navigating the healthcare system. Her advice is grounded in both personal experience and professional knowledge, making it relatable and authoritative.

Jacqueline’s writing is clear, compassionate, and engaging. She strikes a perfect balance between being informative and empathetic, making complex medical and legal information accessible to a broad audience. Her tone is supportive, encouraging readers to stand up for themselves without feeling overwhelmed.

Medical Gaslighting is about empowerment and resilience. Jacqueline addresses the systemic issues within the healthcare system while offering hope and practical solutions. The book underscores the importance of self-advocacy and the need for systemic change to ensure equitable healthcare for all.

Medical Gaslighting is a must-read for anyone who has ever felt marginalized or ignored by the healthcare system.

Ilana Jacqueline’s blend of personal experience, expert advice, and practical tools makes this book an invaluable resource. It is a call to action for patients to take control of their healthcare and demand the respect and care they deserve.

Whether you’re a patient, a caregiver, or a healthcare professional, this book offers valuable insights and strategies to improve patient care and advocate for systemic change. Jacqueline’s work is a beacon of hope in a system that often feels indifferent, reminding us all that our voices matter and deserve to be heard.

[Atlas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Medical Gaslighting: How to Get the Care You Deserve in a System that Makes You Fight for Your Life by Ilana Jacqueline is a game-changer for anyone who's ever felt dismissed or ignored by healthcare providers. A huge thank you to BenBella for providing me with an ARC. As always, all opinions are my own.

Our healthcare system is broken, but this practical guide ensures it doesn't have to break you. Jacqueline equips readers with the tools needed to fight medical bias and get the care they deserve. Here's why this book is a must-read:

Empowering and Informative: Jacqueline tackles the pervasive issue of medical gaslighting, providing a comprehensive toolkit to recognize and combat this harmful practice. 💪
Practical Strategies: Each chapter is filled with actionable advice, from preparing for medical appointments to managing medical records. 📈
Real-Life Stories: Personal stories highlight the real-world impact of medical gaslighting, offering both heart-wrenching and inspiring narratives. 💔💖
Expert Insights: Jacqueline's background as a patient advocate shines through, offering expert insights into navigating the healthcare system. 🌟
Clear and Compassionate: Jacqueline's writing is engaging and empathetic, making complex information accessible to all readers. 🤗
Systemic Change: This book underscores the importance of self-advocacy and the need for systemic change to ensure equitable healthcare. ✊
Medical Gaslighting is about empowerment and resilience. It's not just a guide; it's a lifeline for those navigating the often frustrating world of medical care. Jacqueline addresses systemic issues while offering hope and practical solutions.

Whether you're a patient, caregiver, or healthcare professional, this book offers valuable insights and strategies. It's a call to action to take control of your healthcare and demand the respect and care you deserve.

"Every woman deserves to be heard and this book shows you how!" This inspiring read offers practical advice and reassurance. It's a beacon of hope, reminding us that our voices matter and deserve to be heard.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars. A must-read for anyone who has ever felt marginalized or ignored by the healthcare system. Buy it, share it, and let's empower ourselves and others to advocate for better care. 📚🌟

[Sherry Cohen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman needs to buy this book stat!

Whether you are a woman who is young or old, rich or poor, thin or heavy, fit or not, or white or a person of color, chances are you are going to be gaslighted by doctors. They will mitigate the pain you feel. They will not own up to their lack of expertise. They will not give you enough time to describe your symptoms. They will dismiss them by telling you that it's all in your head.

Ilana Jacqueline not only gives chilling examples of what has happened to women who have been gaslighted, but gives you a script to follow when you are dealing with doctors so that you don't become a victim.

I wish this book was available when I was in my early 20s and complained to five doctors about foot pain. The first four automatically assumed that because I was a woman in her early 20s, all I wanted to do was wear high heels. The fifth doctor diagnosed arthritis. Bingo! He gave me anti-inflammatories for a few years until they didn't work. After that I had six - count 'em - six - foot surgeries by other doctors, including three revisions. One was completely botched up. Just last week I found out that one of the surgeons had fused bones without telling me. I am also my mother's advocate. She was in the same hospital twice in three months for the same infection. I visited every day and talked to the hospitalists who just wrote down her complaints. By day 9, she couldn't walk. I called the CEO's office and asked to get another doctor. They did. This was on a Friday and in the afternoon an outside doctor came in and examined her. He ordered a CT scan. The result: a 17ml abscess under the very visible red swelling near her knee. The next morning, they operated and drained it. She can walk again. You're welcome.

[Leslie McKee · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a woman living with chronic illness, this is a book you should check out. And for everyone else, I would still recommend reading this, as it may be quite eye-opening, as the biases are likely ones that many people have experienced.

For women living with chronic health issues, this book could be a lifeline for helping navigate the complex medical system that wants to push them and their issues/concerns aside. A system that makes them feel invisible. One that doesn't believe that women know their own bodies and what is normal. The author combines her personal experience, along with that of others. These stories will likely be relatable to many readers. She provides some common causes for gaslighting, as well as suggestions to combat it. This book will be most useful for readers in the US, but there are still tips here that could be helpful to patients around the world. The author emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, and she encourages the reader on just how to do that. Anyone who deals with the healthcare system, particularly those with chronic illnesses, know that it is broken. The author reminds readers that they are not alone, and it is possible to navigate the system to get the treatment and care you deserve. This would also be a wonderful book for doctors to read, as she also points out how easy it is to have biases toward certain patients, as well as the dire consequences that can result from medical gas lighting.

[Elise Montemayor · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this book. It was so real. So unapologetic. As a woman that’s been chasing a diagnosis for almost a year now (one that was actually found, and then missed, a result negligence by a PA) - I NEEDED this book. It was so validating. So educational. I knew that if I wanted to be taken seriously by my providers, I would need to be educated and present myself well, this is was such good guidance. I think this book is a great supplement to other education you have about your care.

I think one piece that she may have been missing in this book would have been on the importance of educating yourself thoroughly about your (presumed) condition and the anatomy around it. I’m glad that this book told us to educate ourselves beforehand on treatments, which I hadn’t thought to do. I haven’t gotten far enough to get a diagnosis, but I’ve had doctors try to through medications at me… it would have been much better for me if I anticipated what they would have recommended and educated myself on that.
My doctors don’t really know what to do with me, but since I’m so thoroughly educated on the endocrin system and other peripherally relevant things to my symptoms, our appointments end up being much more collaborative since we’re operating from a more even level of understanding.

Anyway… LOVED THIS. READ IT.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

All chronically ill women should read this book! In fact, it should really be read by everyone, regardless of health status! And it should definitely be a required read for doctors and medical students! It helps you identify medical gaslighting with clear examples and different methods to advocate for yourself. Some of the stories are dreadfully shocking, but they do a wonderful job of conveying how serious the consequences of medical gaslighting can be. I loved that the author kept mentioning the historical context of different types of gaslighting, like the “hysterical women” excuse, along with different types of medical biases. It had useful tips like what to ask when you switch to a new doctor and how to deal with incorrect medical records. It really had everything you need to know to deal with medical gaslighting! This book offered me a safe space to process some of my own medical trauma and to grieve my past self. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to read this, and I could not recommend it more!

Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with the eARC, but it did not affect my review in any way!

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be something all chronically ill women should receive at their first appointment with a doctor.

It should be a book all women in general (and men) read.

Medical Gaslighting is something I’ve experienced but I didn’t realize how much I’ve experienced it. There’s a chapter in this book that discussed a doctor being so nice to us that we don’t question anything. How that is a form of gaslighting. (She explains it so much better than I do.) There have been several times that I have stayed with a doctor, who wasn’t a good fit, all because I thought they were nice and had my best interest at heart. Maybe they did. Maybe they didn’t. The point is they didn’t hear me. They didn’t listen to my concerns.

This book discusses how to advocate for yourself. How to protect yourself. How to not just make yourself the perfect patient but make yourself an active patient.

The stories shared in this book are heartbreaking. So many different extreme examples of gaslighting. Some that I related too more than others.

I’m very interested in reading her other books.

[Pam · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel a little bit like I was gaslit by this book.

If you’re looking to feel like you’re not alone in your own personal medical hellscape, you’ll find that here. There are interesting stories and the knowledge that other people have been in your shoes. And this can be triggering, especially when the stories are so similar to your own.

But when it comes to suggestions on what to do and how to advocate for yourself, it felt a little insulting. A lot of stuff like take a deep breath and reframe what you’re saying to the doctor. If that worked, I wouldn’t be looking for advice. Write a letter to your doctor asking him to edit his notes? You mean the guy who just demeaned me for 15 minutes straight and already thinks I’m hysterical? Research your doctors and pick one that sounds nice? I am given whoever the hospital has the next available appointment with, and even then, I’m waiting six months.

I hope some readers find help in this book. I didn’t.

[Jennie Reads Plenty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman deserves to be heard and this book shows you how! Breaking free from medical gaslighting, this inspiring read offers practical advice and reassurance. Following years of less-than-ideal medical encounters, I sought out this book and it has exceeded expectations. I'm rating this book five stars even though I haven't finished it. I've never read a book more validating and relatable.

For the next 8 days there is a chance to win a free copy on Goodreads!! If there's one book that you read/listen too this year make it this one! Especially if you are dealing with chronic pain / issues! If you don't like reading check out the audio on audible.

[Bára Halldórsdóttir · Rating 5 out of 5]

A much needed read. Any woman should read this.

It's hard for me to read long texts, but I kept feeling drawn to carry on. I'm European, but about 90% of this book applied to me. Some felt terrifyingly familiar. I feel any woman, well or ill should read this. It's validating to read, and informing. It will empower you to stand in your own corner and those of other women. I hope some doctors read this too, it would improve the situation quite a lot I think. Well written too, an easy read text wise even though some of the subject matter is hard to swallow. Dhe has trigger warnings for the worst pars.

[Sylvia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book should be required reading for all first year med students. This book will help them understand what patient care (particularly for women) should be like before they become jaded with one symptom/one cure fits all. This book should also be read by every women to help them navigate the complicated healthcare system that marginalizes them with every visit. Even if, as a woman, you haven't experienced the gaslighting as outlined in this book, it is a fact that women's symptoms/diseases/complaints are more often downplayed and dismissed than with men and every woman should be aware of the signs when they aren't being taken seriously and what they can do to help remedy the problem.

[Sarah Overvaag · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ilana Jacqueline is a perfect author to discuss medical gaslighting. She's experienced it all her life, even after a diagnosis. Ilana states that she wishes she could go back to an earlier version of herself and tell her that her life is worth the time of the doctors who dismissed her, but since she can't do that, she's telling us. Jacueline's book covers why medical gaslighting happens and what it looks like. She discusses causes of bias and how to spot it. She teaches readers how to advocate for themselves, navigate the world of pain management, and deal with medical traumas. Most of all, the book helps us to believe we are worthy of a healthy life.

[Maggie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book across the board, but particularly to women who are more often the victims of the American medical system.
I grew into adulthood with the idea that doctors know what to do and should be trusted without question. I’ve learned the hard way that belief is inaccurate. I found this book wonderfully validating, as well as helpful in terms of bolstering my fortress of self-advocacy. I promptly bought a copy for a chronically ill friend, and have already heard back from her how validated she feels.

[nala👼 · Rating 3 out of 5]

the first 100 pages of this book really captivated me and i loved them. the middle portion though I could have either done without or had it shortened. this was the advice section. and when i’m reading the book i’m not currently in the moment struggling with medical gaslighting so I don’t want to read 100 more pages of advice and how to handle it. I’m not going to remember all of that for my next doctors appointment so it might be better as a shorter section or maybe even an article? i’m not sure that was just the only part that felt unnecessary or boring.

[Shannon]

Ilana Jacqueline gets it-she understands what it’s like navigating a broken medical system in a seemingly broken body. Sadly, she knows all too well how it feels to be dismissed, belittled, judged, and humiliated by a medical professional-and still come away with no answers. The chapter on pain management was very relatable-though I personally still hold out hope that chronic pain will not be my forever here on earth. The stories of women who have been failed by the system are heartbreaking, and the author is deeply passionate about advocating for and supporting other women.

[Charlie Bradford · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have no words. So freaking good. Loved every word. This book healed parts of me that have been broken for a long time. This book will save lives. I'm going to read this again before the end of the year. At least once.

Read the book, get every disabled person you know a copy especially if they're female. Heck, buy a book for your library. If your hospital has a book exchange or library, definitely put one in there.

[Ell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very informative book. If you have experienced explicit or implicit medical bias and the shaming that goes along with it, you will have several aha moments while reading this book! Many women will relate to the topic. Even if you haven't experienced it, chances are great that you one day will. I recommend women pick up a copy of this book. It is empowering.

[Katie Lowery · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would give this 100 stars if I could. I truly think that anyone with chronic illness or medical trauma should read this book. It’s hard for me to find words to explain how this book has made me feel…emotional, seen, and empowered, to say the least.

This year I am reading more about my chronic illnesses and how to navigate them and this was the perfect way to start that journey off!

[Sara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was vulnerable and provided a lot of moments of validation. Spot on with the deficiencies of the system and many providers within it.
There is some limitation in the advice she gives as she is not a mental health professional or healthcare trained. Some of the suggested approaches id take with a grain of salt.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

So so so good!
This book made me feel so much less alone in my struggles.

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read book for anyone who has ever felt unheard by doctors.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

excellent read. i actually just recommended it to a patient I had. as an ER nurse we have to be aware of how our patients are handled not just by us but by the system as a whole

[Lhionara Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both enlightening and educational!