Every Moment Holy, Volume II: Death, Grief, & Hope

Every Moment Holy #2

by Douglas Kaine McKelvey, Ned Bustard

Every Moment Holy, Volume Death, Grief, and Hope , is a book of liturgies for seasons of dying and grieving -- liturgies such as "A Liturgy for the Scattering of Ashes" or "A Liturgy for the Loss of a Spouse" or "A Liturgy for the Wake of a National Tragedy." These are ways of reminding us that our lives are shot through with sacred purpose and eternal hopes even when, especially when, suffering and pain threaten to overwhelm us.

Genres: Christian, Grief, Christianity, Prayer, Devotional, Christian Living, Reference

396 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2021

About the author

The remote descendant of Scottish horse-thieving ancestors, Douglas Kaine McKelvey has already bested the dubious achievements of his predecessors by penning five published books and penning lyrics for more than 250 songs recorded by a variety of artists including Kenny Rogers, Switchfoot, and Jason Gray.

Douglas is currently completing the manuscript for a YA sci-fi/fantasy novel and making slow progress on a companion volume to "Every Moment Holy."

McKelvey was born in New Hampshire and raised in East Texas, but now dwells in the long shadows somewhere south of Nashville with his Norwegianish wife. They have three half-Norwegianish adult daughters and two sons-in-law.

He also has a small, fearless dog that believes it can fly.

Reviews

[Annie Nardone · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's an option of currently reading and an option of read. There needs to be an option of always reading because this book is so full of goodness, hope, and holiness. Written as prayers or liturgies for the difficult places and times in life like death, grief, bad news, and frustration, this book is a rich resource for the times when you find you have no words. There is a liturgy for every struggle, each broken heart. I would recommend this beautiful book as a gift for the grieving because it also offers hope.

[Hunter Beless · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a helpful book for those who are walking through grief and hardship.

[Morgan Giesbrecht · Rating 5 out of 5]

A collection of raw & authentic reactions to grief and loss. All the while brimming with Hope. 😭💛

____

2024 reread

After such a hard year of loss & change, ending on Hope is balm for the soul. 😭💛

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a palliative care patient, I'm finding this collection of liturgies and prayers extremely helpful. I've only had the book a few days but have read through it once and dipped back in for specific prayers and I know it will be a book I return to frequently.

Highlights so far for me personally have been
For the Living of Last Things
For Dying Well
For One Who Lingers in a Long Dying

I've also found having liturgies for others extremely helpful for understanding their roles and what they are going through with me.
For Long-Term Care Givers
For Care Givers in Need of Rest
And the whole section on life after loss as I pray for my family and friends for the future.

But it's not just for the dying or for those helping the dying. It's a book that everyone needs. Reading a liturgy from this every day will keep your mind on the right priorities. It will remind you that life is short and will help you live day by day living for the Lord.
Wonderful, wonderful book.

[Cheyenne Langevelde · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very deep, very solemn. It tackles the painfulness of grief and death, and it's no light reading at all. Even for a devotional, it was very difficult to read through some days, even though it was very timely. All the same, it ends, (as it should), on a note of hope. No matter how dark and despairing death and grief are, we have hope in Christ's resurrection, and that is why we can keep going, even when all else is lost.

[Kaitlyn Schrock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I could gift this to everyone who is sitting beside someone who is dying or has already lost someone they love. I know that the Holy Spirit still hears and intercedes when we don’t know how to pray, but the liturgies in this book are such a soothing balm to a weary, grief-stricken heart. Each one beautifully written to give words to what can’t be uttered and words to the seemingly simple everyday moments that can feel so very tainted with grief.
I’m so grateful for this book.

[Leanna Shepard Conley · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s the kind of book you want always in your back pocket, ready for any moment, or for any friend you meet because you want everyone to have this book.

[Melody Schwarting · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the second volume of Every Moment Holy, McKelvey has again gifted the church with words for the darkest times of life, especially those dealing with death. While volume I includes liturgies for rejoicing, volume II focuses on lament. Reading these prayers was challenging. Some of them speak to my current situation: "Intercession for One Slowly Losing Function," "For a Time of Widespread Suffering." Others are ones I know I can turn to in the future: "To Begin a Family Gathering after a Loss," "To Welcome Another into My Grief."

McKelvey's goal is to supplement the rich resources we already have in formal liturgies. What's especially helpful here is that he writes liturgies responding to contemporary situations that our ancient liturgies could not specifically anticipate. The first volume was especially helpful in this. Ned Bustard's lovely illustrations are helpful for those who like visual supports in prayer, and I found many of them especially meaningful.

In my review of the first book, I wished for liturgies for "experiencing bitterness, for those who have been hurt by others, [and] for broken relationships," and all of these are covered in different ways by this book. Broken relationships, especially, are covered in a few different ways.

McKelvey consulted with many people who have walked through profound grief, who graciously offered feedback on the prayers. He also gives helpful notes for certain prayers (particularly those involving children) to tailor usage to specific situations. Yet, again, I find Every Moment Holy lacking in perspectives outside whiteness. This book sorely lacked lament for racism in any form: personal, systemic, another national tragedy. While there are generalized prayers for the passing of a public figure, a national tragedy, and natural disaster, there isn't anything specific for racism. ("A Liturgy for Grieving a Death Due to Violence" may be helpful for mourning yet another shooting, but it is written for someone whose loved one has died a violent death.) I deeply craved a prayer like that last summer, when one of the shootings of an unarmed Black man took place in the city where I grew up. I crave it now, as another officer-involved shooting traumatizes the community in which I live now.

There are two prayers for mourning suicide, but what's lacking is a prayer for those who are experiencing suicidal ideation/thoughts. I really, really wish there was a liturgy here for that. In the days of my suicidal ideation, I memorized and repeated Scripture and quotations that carried me through (shout out to Gerard Manley Hopkins, who Gets It™) and I would have used such a liturgy at that time. However, the final section, "Liturgies for the Moment in Seasons of Grieving," includes many short prayers intended for memorization that are wonderful for centering one's thoughts on God's presence in suffering.

As with the first volume, my complaint is: more! May a third volume commence, with a wider ecumenical reach. In the meantime, as we face death and grief and loss that are with us until Christ returns, McKelvey has given us words to pray when we find no words. His work here is an encouragement to me, and I know it will support many over the years.

[Kristen Rosener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lent to me by a friend in the wake of my dad's death, this book put words of worship to my pain. For anyone walking in the valley of the shadow, this collection of prayers is invaluable.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I own this. I cannot read it without crying.

[Allison Bailey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve been utilizing the Every Moment Holy prayers so much recently that I went ahead and purchased the final book in the collection (so far). This one is very specific to helping individuals walking through the experience of a physical death, but also has a few that apply to other situations. Grateful this resource is available when I need it in the future. Honestly, this collection has been really good for shaping my prayers and helping me look for joy in unexpected places. I highly recommend the first and third book especially (primarily because the second book won’t always be as relevant).

[PD · Rating 5 out of 5]

Both volumes are excellent editions to your own shelves or as gifts to others. Whereas the first volume curates liturgies of celebrations and blessings, this volume offers prayers for the seasons and moments of dying, death, and grieving.

These liturgies of prayer are precious in the midst of relevant seasons and moments; formational prior to experiencing such times; instructional to prepare to minister to other experiencing them.

They have a mobile app and a website to access digital copies of individual prayers, which are great ways to share with others who might be encouraged during a season or built up in a moment.

[Addie · Rating 5 out of 5]

"O Christ, my Christ, sometimes I cannot see beyond the blur of my own tears." (p. 97)

Thoughts:
• As with Volume I, I did a complete read through, treating each liturgy as a springboard for personal reflection and prayerful contemplation. I'm glad I put a pause on my other in-progress books to focus on this one, because this is something that demands honest thought and not a small amount of sitting with heavy feelings. It's a solid memento mori and it's quietly beautiful.
• Lately I've had some big(ger than usual) thoughts and questions about life, death, and all things in between, including some up-until-the-small-hours-of-the-night moments trying to wrap my head around mortality and the theology of grief. I found this helpful in broadening my perspective (outward and upward). There were some unexpected gems in topics beyond the things I've been thinking about.
• Like Volume I, II covers a range of situations ranging from broad and general to incredibly specific. Not every liturgy will directly apply to each reader (I should hope not, because that would mean an awful number of difficult experiences). Some entries are detailed, some are short, but all are written with a measure of wisdom and much empathy.
• I have a real soft spot for Christian books that acknowledge the messiness of life (anyone who promises that life will always be easy is a fraud and a liar). This book is very down-to-earth and emotionally honest. Of course there's more that could be said about the various shades of death, grief, and suffering. There are a handful of situations I can think of that aren't addressed in this book, e.g. mourning moral failure of a leader, lament for mental and emotional disorders, anger at witnessing or experiencing abuse and neglect etc. But there are not enough words in the universe to describe all the fruits of a fallen world. It's definitely making me want to write some, though.
• The benediction (A Liturgy of Praise to Christ Who Conquered Death) is a masterpiece.

"Now let me come to you, uncovering these wounds as often as I need, and learning how to offer them to you, that you might minister your grace to me." (p. 156)

[Ammie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I started this to help me, help a friend grieve. I ended up buying a copy for myself and her. I believe we will both use it differently than it is intended for, which is far more formal. However, it gives words to grief that one cannot always do on their own, and for that, it will be often removed from the shelf to share grace with another. Though hopefully not too often.

[Treva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love this book. I read this book slowly over many months from front cover to back in order. Every prayer is meaningful. I highly recommend it to anyone who needs hope. The prayers apply to any kind of grief.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Only God knew what a needful treasure this volume would be to me throughout 2025. Thankful for the timely reminders of God’s promises and presence and perfect peace in petition form scattered within this beautiful work. Highly recommend.

[Hannah S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful prayers for thinking about death and dying, and can be applied to other types of grief too.

[Amanda Schneider · Rating 5 out of 5]

Will continue dipping into this one often. It’s so beautifully done and been such a source of healing grief & lament for my soul

[Timothy Hoiland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Here’s my favorite thing about the original edition of Douglas Kaine McKelvey’s Every Moment Holy: the poetic yet earthy particularity of the liturgies.

On a weekly and daily basis, and for some of the biggest moments of life—weddings, funerals, baptisms—we Anglicans lean heavily on the Book of Common Prayer. The confessions and collects, the Eucharistic prayers and the prayers of the people, they give voice to the longings of our hearts in simple, biblical, true language. But what about those in-between moments: quotidian, maybe, but no less significant? They may be joyful: feasting with friends, gardening, going on vacation. Or they may not: insomnia, work deadlines, news-induced anxiety.

All these moments matter to us. All these moments matter to God. Ergo, Every Moment Holy.

Here, in volume two (also from Rabbit Room Press), McKelvey leans especially into the dark stuff. He does so not in despair, but—as the Prayer Book puts it—“in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection.”

In the Foreword, he calls us to reclaim “a more robust theology of dying” and to reexamine “the ways in which we relate to and care for the dying and the grieving among us.” McKelvey writes:

“Such care should not be the sole purview of therapists and practitioners of medicine, after all—though they each have their valuable places. But neither of those fields is generally equipped to offer spiritual shepherding, nor compassionate community, nor to infuse the journeys of the dying and grieving with the great and central hope contained in the sweeping story of God’s redemptive works across history and into eternity—namely, that death is not the end, that all creation will be made new, the children of God resurrected unto eternal life in glorified physical bodies in which we will live and play and take joy, all to the glory of God, in community, in creativity, in worship, in wonder, and in celebration. Remembrance of this story, and of how our own deaths find their context in it, is one of the great gifts the church has been given to steward, and a gift that we ought to continually offer to one another. It is the best hope in all of creation.”

The best hope in all of creation. We need it. I need it. Flimsy substitutes will not do.

Just as in volume one, the liturgies here are written for very particular moments. In some cases, the title alone is enough to pierce the heart: “For the Morning of a Medical Procedure,” “For Those Facing the Slow Loss of Memory,” “To Stir Courage in a Child Facing Death,” and “For Removing One’s Wedding Ring,” to name a few.

Whatever the particulars of our lives—and the particulars of the lives entrusted to our care—all too many of these liturgies will, at one time or another, speak to our distress while anchoring us in the love of the Suffering Servant who has died, is risen, and will come again to make all things new and to wipe away every tear.

“These prayers and liturgies are offered in light of that eternal hope,” McKelvey writes, “and in the hope that they might serve the Body of Christ, encouraging us to give ourselves more fully to the experience of our present sorrows in light of those unshakeable joys to come, to better learn what it means to nurture, serve, encourage, and carry one another, and ultimately to reclaim a greater sense that these journeys of dying, caretaking, and grieving are holy moments to be experienced in communion with God, and in fellowship with one another, just as any other facet of our discipleship.”

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful and beautiful collection of prayers and liturgies focusing on the experience of grief. Having read all the way through it, I am all the more eager to begin once again. There is no living without the spectre of death and loss as a companion; be it in circumstances, abilities, youth, health, loved ones or joy, confidence, faith, hope and love itself. This extraordinary book speaks to all of it. I didn’t know how desperately I would need this book when I ordered it, but am so grateful to have it in my tool kit during a season of great sorrow and to now recommend this treasure to everyone I know.

[Rosa M · Rating 5 out of 5]

"How can I ever make an accounting of what has been lost, except to say that it weaves through all my days, as far back as I can remember? ...... Their existence has been to me as constant as the course of a river winding through the landscape.....now the course of that river diverges from my path through time, and the familiar sound of those waters strangely fades. My heart is hollowed by this loss, O Lord, my life, my world, immediately impoverished. ..... .It was you, O Lord, who in grace gave each of us to the other, and now I see with greater clarity in this sudden absence, the profound blessing my brother had so long been to me."

A few days after my 19 year old brother was killed in a freak accident at his work, one of my best friends loaned me their family's copy of this book. I'd never read any of the Every Moment Holy books before, but it's been such a blessing. (Another family friend bought us our own copy so now we can keep returning to it again and again as needed, which I'm sure I'll do.) What sets this book apart from other grief related books I've read, is how beautiful and raw it is. The liturgical format steeps it in Christ and poetry but also in real emotion and human suffering. I cried a LOT while reading this book. I appreciated how specific yet wide ranging they are, covering topics from guilt over past abortions to the death of a loved one from cancer. There were multiple liturgies that felt written just for me, and others I couldn't personally relate to but that gave me insight into the suffering of others I've known in my life. It's truly such a powerful book and I will absolutely recommend it to anyone grieving the loss of a loved one.

[Willow · Rating 4 out of 5]

Circumstances within this volume are crushing. So many forms of grief are detailed with a specificity that, Lord willing and heaven forbid, could never be visited upon any one person, though in the span of a life many of these heavy losses are sure to be the lot of every one of us.

I wept for those that applied to me. I wept for those that didn't. In some ways the reading of this book hurt worse than before. In other ways, it provided relief by crafting words to voice the silent lament, and granting a sense of kinship with the greater body of Believers who are separately-together in lifting breaking hearts to the Lord with faith and trust and love.

Many wise and deeply comforting words were prayed throughout these liturgies. If a book can be so painful and yet be woven with hope, much like life itself, this is.

[Jessica Telian · Rating 5 out of 5]

So often, in the face of death and grief, I feel bereft of words to give to those dealing with loss. In this volume of liturgies, Douglas McKelvey shares those words in such a beautiful way. While reading through them all, I found myself encouraged and convicted by so many pieces, even if I wasn't experiencing the same pain of the person the liturgy was written for. The utter horror and hardship of loss wasn't glossed over, yet a thread of hope runs through all, and our eyes are always brought back to Jesus, ever beside the broken-hearted.

[Megan Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wouldn't recommend this book to sit down and read straight but it is perfect for those moments in grief where you don't have the words but hope that someone else does. It is nice to know that your experience is seen and known by the community that wrote and reads this book. I and my family were able to read some of these over my mom as she was dying and they have brought me comfort and community since.

[Emma Schramm · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Every Moment Holy Vol. I” travels in my purse, and I cannot wait for a pocket version of volume II, because I know it too will travel with me.

McKelvey is extremely skilled at writing liturgies that real people truly relate to, yet are deeply honoring to God. The more I read and pray these liturgies, the more thankful I am for them.

[Desiree Dunlap · Rating 5 out of 5]

I revisit this book often. It is difficult to need it, and also a great comfort to have close. These modern liturgies, unafraid to look at death, grief and pain, give the reader the courage to enter into the darkness of life instead of hiding from it. They give words when there are none left to give.

[Darren Lewis · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is an amazingly well-written and thoughtful book. I give it a three because it is difficult to read straight through. There is no balance with other areas of life. It becomes weighty when you read about death and mourning daily, whether or not you are living through grief at that moment. It would have worked better to split I, II, and III into sections, including 1/3 of this book.

[Brittany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly encouraging and optimistic, this book is an addition every Christian would be well advised to keep in their home library to draw upon in moments of urgency, and also in times when meditating on life, death, and hope.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautiful, gut-wrenching liturgies. reads beautifully like poems. so intimate. takes you into another’s falling world, inviting lament and ending with a cry for help– then ultimate reassurance of God’s grace. I could read this forever, words like a gentle flowing stream.

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful devotional for those who are suffering & possibly at the end of earthly pilgrimage.

The author has an amazing way of helping the saints with biblical encouragement & hope.

Highly recommended!