شایعات

by Neil Simon, آهو خردمند (Transalator)

At a large, tastefully appointed Sneden's Landing townhouse, the Deputy Mayor of New York has just shot himself. Though only a flesh wound, four couples are about to experience a severe attack of Farce. Gathering for their tenth wedding anniversary, the host lies bleeding in the other room and his wife is nowhere in sight. His lawyer, Ken and wife Chris must get "the story" straight before the other guests arrive. As the confusions and mis-communications mount, the evening spins off into classic farcical hilarity. "Light, frothy and fun." - New York Post "Has nothing on its mind except making the audience laugh." - The New York Times "Neil Simon makes people laugh-a lot!" - USA Today "Not only side splitting, but front and back splitting." - NBC-TV

Genres: Plays, Theatre, Drama, Humor, Comedy, Fiction, Classics

115 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Marvin Neil Simon was an American playwright and screenwriter. He wrote more than 30 plays and he received more combined Oscar and Tony nominations than any other writer. He was one of the most reliable hitmakers in Broadway history, as well as one of the most performed playwrights in the world. Though primarily a comic writer, some of his plays, particularly the Eugene Trilogy and The Sunshine Boys, reflect on the twentieth century Jewish-American experience.

Reviews

[Ali Salehi · Rating 2 out of 5]

دوستان داریم راجع به آخرین نمایشنامه از دوره اول برنامه «هفت هفته ، هفت نمایشنامه» صحبت میکنیم. اول تشکر میکنم از همه دوستانی که به ما افتخار دادن و در این دوره شرکت کردن.
و اما بپردازیم به «شایعات» اثر «نیل سایمون» که کمدی متوسطیه.
طرح داستانی خوبه. خیلی جدیده و از این جدید بودن هم نفع میبره هم ضرر.
سودش در یک داستان متفاوته. همین خیلی خوبه و میتونه دلیلی باشه برای اینکه نصف رضایت مخاطب رو پر کنه. اما ضررش در اینه که نمایش خیلی آشفته‌ست. در صورتی که باید در کمدی ما یک پیوستگی داشته باشیم. این پیوستگی باید شامل چند مسئله باشه : 1.کمدی باید پیوسته موقعیت هایی باشه که الزاما همه اون موقعیت ها نباید شوخ باشن.
2.در کمدی بیشتر از طنز ما باید جدیت داشته باشیم. تا زمانی که شخصیت هایی که بار کمدی روی دوششونه با جدیت رفتار احمقانه نداشته باشن اون کمدی نیست.
3.در کمدی باید شخصیت ها غیر از مسئولیت حمل بار طنز و شوخ داستان ، طنازی هم بلد باشن. همه‌شون با همه خصیصه هاشون باید خودشون در دل ما جا بدن.
4.کمدی به فرهنگ نباید محدود بشه.
تمام اینها رو گفتیم اما ایراد این نمایشنامه در کدام مواردیه که ذکر کردیم؟
اول اینکه نمایش مطلقا پیوستگی نداره دو اینکه «شایعات» خیلی به فرهنگ آمریکایی وابسته‌ست. اون فرهنگ و اون شوخی ها رو ازش بگیریم خیلی درصد کمی میتونه بخندونه اما طرح قابل دفاعه.
شخصیت ها باوجود ایراداتشون همچنان میشه تا حدی ازشون لذت برد.
یه اشکال دیگه‌ای که اثر داره اینه که اصلا و ابدا حضور شخصیتی که محور نمایش هست (چارلی) رو نداریم. این فقدان خیلی ضربه میزنه به فرم. مشکل بعدی اینه که مخاطب در پایان ، احساس میکنه بهش توهین شده. چرا؟ چون معلوم نمیشه که علت این مسئله تمام این درگیری ها چی بوده؟ و مهم تر : مخاطب در پایان احساس نمیکنه که به ذات پاک انسانی نزدیک تر شده. دور نمیشه ولی نزدیک هم نمیشه. این مشکل زمانی حاد تر میشه که رسالت کمدی رسوندن انسان به ذات پاک انسانی باشه. که در اصل همین وظیفه کمدی هست.
در مجموع «شایعات» از «نیل سایمون» یک نمایش تلف شده و آسیب پذیره ولی اگر دوست دارین یه کار نیمه کمدی سبک بخونین کار بدی نیست.

دوره دوم این برنامه (هفت هفته ، هفت نمایشنامه) از 15 آذرماه شروع میشه. رایگان هست و آنلاین. یک هفته هم برای هر خوندن و تحلیل هر نمایش فرصت هست. اگر دوست دارین میتونین پیام بدین تا به این دوره اضافه شین.

[پیمان عَلُو · Rating 2 out of 5]

به عنوان یک آرسنالی باید بگویم که همه چیز در خیابان انقلاب و از رنگ آبی شروع شد…
شروع شد و مانند فارست گامپ حرکت کرد و نای ایستادن هم ندارد…
آبی اکنون خطرناک‌تر از قرمز است…
منظورم نه چلسی‌ست و نه استقلال،بلکه دختران مدارس را می‌گویم…
اینجا«شهرمان» لباس نظامی دختران آبی‌ست.
حداقل دختری که مد نظر من است آبی پوش بود.
دختر آبی،در مدرسه شعار می‌دهد مدیر مدرسه که حکم «آقای نور بخش کثافت» را دارد او‌ را هل می‌دهد،رنگ قرمز نمایان می‌شود …
مدیر زنگ میزند *برادران و خواهران* می‌آیند قضیه را حل می‌کنند…
همه چیز « دوستانه و زیر هیچ تهدیدی:/ »مخفی می‌ماند…
البته که هرکاری کنند خورشید بلاخره سر وقتش طلوع خواهد کرد اما،نیل سایمون موقعیتی را طراحی کرده که کسی گلوله خورده و بقیه او را مخفی میکنند و موقعیتی کمدی ایجاد می‌شود…
اما همان موقعیت اینجا سرشار از ترس و وحشت است…
با خواندن « شایعات »حتی لبخند هم نزدم،چرا که موقعیت برایم آشناست،و ای کاش که آشنا نبود…
این موقعیت برای آنها طنز است و برای ما وحشتناک…

شیرزاد حسن می گوید: شما وارثان دکارت هستید که می‌گفت:من می‌اندیشم،پس هستم. اما من فرزند فرهنگی هستم که باید نیندیشد تا بماند. فرهنگ شما برای یک پرسش در زمانهای گوناگون، پاسخهای تازه و گوناگون دارد، در حالی که فرهنگ ما برای یک پرسش در هر زمانی، یک پاسخ بیشتر ندارد، نزد ما آسمان به جای زمین سخن می‌گوید. شما از راهِ نوشتن وارد تاریخ شده‌اید، از راه هنر و ادبیات، ولی ما از راه مرگ و مصیبت، و به این دلیل است که پیش از آنکه با عقلِ شما گفتگو کنیم، بهتر است با وجدان شما سخن بگوییم. هراسِ من این است که آغازِ قرن بیست و یکم پایانی بر تاریخِ ما یا آغازی بر اختناقِ دسته جمعیِ ما باشد.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read this out loud this evening with my husband & son. We had a lot of fun! There were 10 characters in total so we each played several roles. We made up some interesting accents to differentiate between each character!

[Kiana · Rating 3 out of 5]

هر چی بیشتر تلاش می‌کنیم راست رو بگیم، بیشتر گیر می‌افتیم توی دروغ‌هایی که از اول نگفتیم!

[Masoud msn · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5*
کار بدی نیست ولی بنظرم تا حدی کلیشه‌ای هست و ایده‌های بکری نداره. نیل سایمون نمایشنامه‌های خیلی بهتری در کارنامش داره که شایعات در برابرشون کاملا معمولی به حساب میاد.

[Pourahmadi · Rating 2 out of 5]

مدتها دنبال این نمایشنامه از نیل سایمون بودم.
چون تقریبا تمام کارهایشو خونده بودم و لذت وافری از قدرت دیالو گ پردازی و طنازی ش برده بودم.
اما این کار اصلا در حد بقیه کاراش نبود
حس می کنم متظاهرانه بود. کمی از اجرای ایرانی نمایشنامه رو هم دیدم. اونم متظاهرانه بود و پر سرعت و باورپذیر نبود
برعکس ادعایی که در مقدمه کتاب شده که کمدی ترین کار نیل سایمون هست.

حدود 100 صفحه با دیالو گ های ضعیف جلو میره و تازه بعد اومدن پلیس کار جون می گیره که دیگه داستان داره تموم میشه.

[Parnian.K]

Watched a Persian Production at Waterfront Theatre, Vancouver
Nov 2, 2025

[Carrie Poppy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great!

[Ronja (queer-is-the-universe) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well everything is just fine.

[Laura Floyd · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely not as funny a read as it will be when you come see me perform it live March 14-16 or 21-23. Just sayin'. :)

[Masih Reyhani · Rating 4 out of 5]

بعد از مدت‌ها دوری از نمایش‌نامه‌خوانی، این نمایش‌نامه را به پیشنهاد دوست عزیزی خواندم.

نمایش‌نامه را بی‌وقفه و با لذت خواندم.

به نوعی می‌توان گفت که حکایت «یک کلاغ، چهل کلاغ» خودمان است.

[lu · Rating 3 out of 5]

fast and easy to understand...
not bad for a school read:)

[Grayson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Y’all ain’t even ready for my Lenny…

[v (sabrina, kenji, ravi, jude's version) · Rating 4 out of 5]

we open in a week and a half !! this play is so funny

[Al Knott · Rating 3 out of 5]

not ever really been a fan of a farce, but as they go, this one is pretty good

[Neil · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not getting the love for this, it's not among the better Simon plays to me. It's about a bunch of power couples arriving for a dinner party and instead discovering that their host is bleeding and his wife has disappeared. In the process of trying to find out what has happened, they themselves are taken into a farce of physical injuries, mistaken identities, and a cover-up of events that they don't understand in the first place.

It has moments of cleverness, but it's weakened, like much of Simon's work, by a somewhat outdated sense of gender relationships, a world where men have the occupations and women mainly follow. To me, Simon kept reproducing this outmoded world at a time when better writers were moving forward. Farce is always a great challenge in the theater, but I found this one even more improbable than most. The characters are rather tiresome and not very distinctive. Worst of all, the ending is rather abrupt and not convincing at all.

It's not without laughs and maybe a gifted set of actors could make something of this, but on the page, it's not so great.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Working on this for a community production and made myself read the script in it's entirety to fully understand the piece outside my lines.
A good farce is so hard to find isn't it? But a good farce is my favorite -- I am a fan of clever writing.
The only reason Simon's work didn't get a 5-star rating from me is because it hasn't stood the test of time in the way I would have hoped. While possible to modernize this 80s piece it is driven by a landline to make so much of the comedy work. I am a fan of a period piece -- imagine the 1980s being considered a period piece! -- so of course the story still works, scrunchies, big hair, gaudy clothing and all, but it is a harder sell for audiences, because, who uses a landline anymore! In fact, who even *talks* on the phone these days. Otherwise a good story that will have you laughing and keep you wondering.
A fun little play.

[Yasamin Rezai · Rating 3 out of 5]

پر کاراکتره و این خوندنشو سخت می کنه اما اجراش پدیده ی هیجان انگیزی از آب در میاد(اینی که الان رو صحنه است رو من ندیدم البته)


"-می تونیم یه لوله کش خبر کنیم.اونا می تونن هرچیزی رو دربیارن.حلقه های عروسی،سوییچ های ماشین.من یه عمه داشتم که دندون مصنوعیش رو تو توالت انداخته بود و اونا براش درآوردن.
-و اون ازشون استفاده کرد؟
-خب آره،مسلما تمیزشون می کنی
-پاپ می تونه اونارو متبرک کنه ، اما من نمی تونم اونا رو دوباره بذارم توی دهنم
"

[Dest · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've never seen this play and only read the script because Darrell foisted it on me. It's hard to believe he's going to do it with his high school kids because there's a lot of swearing and it's a little dated. Reading it, I thought it was ridiculous, but I only laughed out loud once. I'm pretty sure if I saw it, though, I'd think it was funny.

[liza! · Rating 3 out of 5]

my second show i’ve ever performed in! i acted as officer pudney and the voice of myra, and backstage i was our designated on-book crew member. the read dates that i added were for our first dress rehearsal :)

i am so lucky to have worked with an amazing group of people to bring this story to life. the cast was perfect, the set was gorgeous (one of my best friends built a two story mansion set for us! it’s genius!), and we made so many people laugh. and that’s what was worth it! i love making others happy through things like this. i really do. our final show last night was fantastic, and we had a record-breaking audience that just wouldn’t stop laughing.

but even though i feel as if our production of rumors was good on stage, this is without a doubt one of the weaker plays i’ve read. when we did our first read-through the day after the cast list came out, i found myself cringing at some of the jokes, especially the reoccurring one about the asian american cook. without a strong cast, i have no doubt that i wouldn’t be able to enjoy this show. the actors make it or break it.

so i just don’t think farces are for me- when i go to see a show, i like when there’s at least a teeny bit of emotional weight. you don’t get that from a farce… it’s a fun time, but these shows leave me feeling unsatisfied at the end. of course, working to put a show on stage is so rewarding, but these types of shows- there’s something missing.

i will always feel so grateful for the performance i got to do of this show- neil simon just isn’t the best playwright.

two stars for the script and an extra star for my emotional attachment!

[Madilyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Absolute off-the-walls rib-tickling farcical inanity. One of the reviews on the back of the book says something along the lines of “It has nothing for its object but making you laugh” (or something, I don’t have it with me) and I 100% agree. It’s just fun. It’s just jokes the whole way. And honestly I love it. Sometimes that’s all you need. Simon does a great job of building this totally implausible scenario, and a great job of elevating the stakes. Even just reading the script you can hear the doors slamming left and right and hear the shoes scrambling around onstage. And the names all being so similar was hysterical. It’s like American Psycho if every character was Paul Allen. I read this for a theatre class, which isn’t important and didn’t affect my opinion, but I thought I would mention it. You’re welcome.

[Jreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

☆4

Rumors is one of those plays you can't just read. It's such a physical comedy that reading through the play does not do it justice.
That being said, our production of rumors changed and added a fair bit of my favorite gags which I can't attribute to the script so while the performance we put on gets five stars, Rumors has to go down to a 4 for me.
I think act 2 is really where it starts getting funny. There's definitely a lull where nothing happens from the end of act 1 to the first 20 minutes of act 2 which slow down a lot, plus every scene Ernie has is pretty much filler but we still love Ernie anyway. I think if this was cut down to a one-act play, it would do a lot of good. The ending is definitely a highlight as well I was not expecting it at all.

☆4 ▪︎ 100 pages

[Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this play in preparation for auditioning for it next month. There are a lot of great lines and actions. I’d be happy to play nearly any character in the whole script. I am particularly drawn to the character who suffers hearing loss along the way. Temporary and in a comic way. That would be such an interesting thing to portray.

I do like a play that changes your thoughts and attitudes and this one is not that, but it’s a fun story.

[Lauren Merrifield · Rating 4 out of 5]

This play was so enjoyable to read and I would love to see it onstage. It was so ridiculous and most of the characters were very stupid which made the whole thing so funny. The situation these characters found themselves in was highly unbelievable but that was the point. The lines were very clever and there was so much chaos. I think this is a play most people enjoy and would be very fun to be a part of.

[Charlie Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful, well orchestrated black farce. The absurdity and jokes pile up throughout, so much so that you can tell you're in experienced hands. The tension between what characters do or don't know creates some truly ridiculous situations that are only possible in high farce. What a fun play this would be to watch live...

[Daphne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can only rate this 5/5 stars, not because the play was the most amazing play I've ever read, but because I had the best absolute best experience putting on the show. It was deeply funny, and I grew so much as an actress doing it. I loved every second onstage and backstage and rehearsing it, so really, it can never be anything but 5 stars.

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite a few laugh out loud moments. So easy and fast to read. The dialogue was snappy. I did have trouble nailing down the "present day" that it's supposed to be set in. Car Phones and Disney Channel and Meryl Streep references helped later in the script. The ending wasn't my favorite, but overall the piece was Great.

[Tina · Rating 4 out of 5]

This play was a great distraction. I was drawn by the humor which made it fun to read. Four couples gather for a party and mayhem ensues. I would love it see it on stage if it comes to my area. If you see it advertised, get tickets. I am sure it will entertain you.

[KJ Velz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this book to get a sense of the fall play for Mask & Bauble. It was a decent, quick read but definitely not as enjoyable as a performance. I would love to see this onstage, as it seems incredible fun and witty, but not a life changing script. Fluffy, really.

[Spiffybumble · Rating 5 out of 5]

A four star read but a five star viewing of the show. It’s a little outdated in some aspects, but viewing it as a cultural piece rather than a modern story helps a lot with that. This was the first play I ever saw my sister act in and I’ve been laughing at it ever since!