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What Every Parent Needs to Know: The Incredible Effects of Love, Nurture and Play on Your Child's Development
What Every Parent Needs to The incredible effects of love, nurture and play on your child's development [Paperback] Sunderland, Margot
288 pages, Paperback
First published June 7, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
August 3, 2024
„Tyrimai rodo, kad tėvų ir vaikų santykiai keičia ne tik protą, bet ir smegenis. Yra daugybė įrodymų, kad vaikystės potyriai su tėvais turi dramatišką poveikį mūsų vėlesnei fizinei ir psichikos sveikatai – gerą arba blogą".
Tik pradėjusi skaityti iš karto pasigailėjau, kad neperskaičiau šios knygos prieš kokią dešimt metų. Čia taip aiškiai ir suprantamai paaiškinta apie vaiko smegenų vystymąsi, emocinį intelektą ir elgesio iššūkius, remiantis šiuolaikiniu neuromokslu.
Po to, kaip autorė minėjo pratarmėje, ir mane ištiko lengvas šokas, supratus, kokį didelį poveikį, mes, tėvai, darome savo vaikų psichinei sveikatai. Tačiau, kaip sakoma, geriau sužinoti vėliau, negu niekada, nes tyrimai rodo, jog smegenys yra plastiškos ir kintančios.
Knyga apžvelgia smegenų raidą nuo nėštumo laikotarpio iki paauglystės, apima tokias temas, kaip miegas, verkimas, elgesio sutrikimai, ekranų ir maisto poveikis, ribų brėžimas bei rūpinimąsis savimi. Taip, kai kurie dalykai yra nulemti genetiškai, tačiau vis daugėja įrodymų, jog epigenetika gali išjungti arba įjungti tam tikrus genus.
Visgi, didžiausią įtaką vaiko sveikatai, daro auklėjimas. Dr. M. Sunderland pateikia strategijas ir pavyzdžius, koks turi būti emociškai jautrus auklėjimas, kaip įgarsinti vaiko jausmus, sukurti stiprų ryšį. Knygoje minimi jau puikiai žinomi specialistai Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish ir Gabor Mate.
Būtent, mūsų (t.y. tėvų) psichinė sveikata yra ta svarbiausia dedamoji, kalbant apie vaikų auklėjimą. Visa informacija suskirstyta į trumpus skyrius, tekstą papildo iliustracijos, lentelės ir scemos. Šią knygą galima drąsiai rekomenduoti būsimųjų tėvų kursuose, poliklinikose ir gimdymo namuose.
Knygos autorė Margot Sunderland yra britų vaikų psichologė ir psichoterapeutė, Londono vaikų psichikos sveikatos centro direktorė, organizacijos „Trauma Informed Schools UK" direktorė, Menų terapijos ir edukacijos instituto įkūrėja. Ji yra parašiusi virš dvidešimt knygų apie vaikų psichikos sveikatą.
Tik pradėjusi skaityti iš karto pasigailėjau, kad neperskaičiau šios knygos prieš kokią dešimt metų. Čia taip aiškiai ir suprantamai paaiškinta apie vaiko smegenų vystymąsi, emocinį intelektą ir elgesio iššūkius, remiantis šiuolaikiniu neuromokslu.
Po to, kaip autorė minėjo pratarmėje, ir mane ištiko lengvas šokas, supratus, kokį didelį poveikį, mes, tėvai, darome savo vaikų psichinei sveikatai. Tačiau, kaip sakoma, geriau sužinoti vėliau, negu niekada, nes tyrimai rodo, jog smegenys yra plastiškos ir kintančios.
Knyga apžvelgia smegenų raidą nuo nėštumo laikotarpio iki paauglystės, apima tokias temas, kaip miegas, verkimas, elgesio sutrikimai, ekranų ir maisto poveikis, ribų brėžimas bei rūpinimąsis savimi. Taip, kai kurie dalykai yra nulemti genetiškai, tačiau vis daugėja įrodymų, jog epigenetika gali išjungti arba įjungti tam tikrus genus.
Visgi, didžiausią įtaką vaiko sveikatai, daro auklėjimas. Dr. M. Sunderland pateikia strategijas ir pavyzdžius, koks turi būti emociškai jautrus auklėjimas, kaip įgarsinti vaiko jausmus, sukurti stiprų ryšį. Knygoje minimi jau puikiai žinomi specialistai Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish ir Gabor Mate.
Būtent, mūsų (t.y. tėvų) psichinė sveikata yra ta svarbiausia dedamoji, kalbant apie vaikų auklėjimą. Visa informacija suskirstyta į trumpus skyrius, tekstą papildo iliustracijos, lentelės ir scemos. Šią knygą galima drąsiai rekomenduoti būsimųjų tėvų kursuose, poliklinikose ir gimdymo namuose.
Knygos autorė Margot Sunderland yra britų vaikų psichologė ir psichoterapeutė, Londono vaikų psichikos sveikatos centro direktorė, organizacijos „Trauma Informed Schools UK" direktorė, Menų terapijos ir edukacijos instituto įkūrėja. Ji yra parašiusi virš dvidešimt knygų apie vaikų psichikos sveikatą.
December 25, 2024
Tai yra kol kas geriausia skaityta knyga apie vaikų auginimą
August 3, 2018
Despite the off-putting title, this book’s subtitle more accurately sums up its essence: “The Incredible Effects of Love, Nurture and Play on your Child’s Development.” I read it cover-to-cover over the course of a year spanning pregnancy to motherhood, dipping in whenever I needed some inspiration.
It covers a wide range of parenting topics from a strong, opinionated and research-led perspective. The writing is congenial to a new parent’s mindset; informative with a tone of what you what you need to hear (rather than what you want to), like a teacher with a firm-but-fair approach. The chapters on sleep and childcare particularly resonated with me as I toiled over choices to be made.
Unlike other reviewers, I didn't find the discipline chapter too harsh at all. In fact, the outlook and methodologies here fell completely in line with what I have found to be effective in my years of teaching. I’ll be referring to it whenever I need a refresh on behaviour management.
However, I did feel uneasy about two specific points made later on. The first is the subject of autism. Referring to “recent work in Paris and Israel” it is implied that autism can be treated with a miracle cure, and if left untreated becomes a “life-long sentence”. To me, this was extremely controversial in today’s climate where autism is celebrated and accommodated rather than quashed. Moreover the subtext suggests that a child’s autism is a result of parenting, which I find troubling.
The second thing that irked me was a passing comment implying that stress during pregnancy causes homosexuality. I’ve never heard that one before! I’m no neuroscientist but can’t help but question the validity of that claim.
There were also some LOL suggestions for schools that reminded me how out-of-touch outside agencies are: “I would put CCTV in every school playground” 😂; “Ideally all teachers would receive a regular massage and counselling.” 😂Seriously? We can’t even afford glue sticks!
Overall I learned a lot about the way in which a child’s brain develops in their early months and years, impacting my decisions and actions both as a parent and teacher. I’d recommend this book to anyone interested on what’s really going on in their little heads, and how best to deal with that. I’ll definitely be keeping it close-by for guidance in the years to come.
It covers a wide range of parenting topics from a strong, opinionated and research-led perspective. The writing is congenial to a new parent’s mindset; informative with a tone of what you what you need to hear (rather than what you want to), like a teacher with a firm-but-fair approach. The chapters on sleep and childcare particularly resonated with me as I toiled over choices to be made.
Unlike other reviewers, I didn't find the discipline chapter too harsh at all. In fact, the outlook and methodologies here fell completely in line with what I have found to be effective in my years of teaching. I’ll be referring to it whenever I need a refresh on behaviour management.
However, I did feel uneasy about two specific points made later on. The first is the subject of autism. Referring to “recent work in Paris and Israel” it is implied that autism can be treated with a miracle cure, and if left untreated becomes a “life-long sentence”. To me, this was extremely controversial in today’s climate where autism is celebrated and accommodated rather than quashed. Moreover the subtext suggests that a child’s autism is a result of parenting, which I find troubling.
The second thing that irked me was a passing comment implying that stress during pregnancy causes homosexuality. I’ve never heard that one before! I’m no neuroscientist but can’t help but question the validity of that claim.
There were also some LOL suggestions for schools that reminded me how out-of-touch outside agencies are: “I would put CCTV in every school playground” 😂; “Ideally all teachers would receive a regular massage and counselling.” 😂Seriously? We can’t even afford glue sticks!
Overall I learned a lot about the way in which a child’s brain develops in their early months and years, impacting my decisions and actions both as a parent and teacher. I’d recommend this book to anyone interested on what’s really going on in their little heads, and how best to deal with that. I’ll definitely be keeping it close-by for guidance in the years to come.
July 23, 2016
A great book. It clearly and openly advocates a particular approach to parenting, but cooly backs its claims up with recent research in psychology, evolution and biology. Focusing mostly on newborns and toddlers, and grounding the referenced research in the day-to-day world of parenting, it is also crammed full of useful advice for parents of children of all ages. The only downside is that the book is laid out like some trashy women's weekly magazine, complete with excessive callouts and an over abundance of sidebars. This makes it difficult and harder to read, unfortunate because the body of the text is very clearly written. One unfortunate star off.
March 26, 2018
This book has helped me with my parenting. Whenever I try what it says, it works. I.e., if I work on being in a good mood and am playful, my son is a delight to be around. I'm going to get my own copy and occasionally flip through it in trying times. It's not 100% gentle discipline, but time-in sounds better than other options and I think it helps a parent feel secure in what they are doing. Although, obviously I disagree with the diet advice, I feel it's tone is informative and not too judgy and I'll be using it for number 2!
July 22, 2016
Really interesting, thought through, empathy driven book... And then we get to the chapter on discipline, which read like someone else had written it.
The chapter on discipline was cynical, manipulative, and encouraged love withdrawals as a way of managing disliked behaviour. No thanks.
In all other areas, it was on point.
The chapter on discipline was cynical, manipulative, and encouraged love withdrawals as a way of managing disliked behaviour. No thanks.
In all other areas, it was on point.
June 24, 2024
This book was both helpful and annoying. And because of the annoying bits, the helpful bits also became a bit suss, does that make sense?
- No mention of divorce, but wouldn't that have a massive impact on raising "happy, nurtured children" (perhaps the writer wants to be positive that even if you are divorced you can make positive contributions to your child, but felt a bit negligent perhaps not even to mention the importance of long-lasting marriages?)
- No mention of spirituality. I know this is a secular book, but the research is clear that spiritual health is a key factor in resilience right? So why no mention?
- A simple one. She says "Don't use third as a barometer of when you need water" but that's not true!
Ok, with that mini rant out of the way, the book did have cool stuff and I'm glad I read it.
- difference between manipulative tantrums (where child is using thinking brain to scream to get what they want) and distress tantrums (they are just emotional and need support)
- Cool strategies for play and support and not commands (e.g. empathetic listening whilst still telling them no, like "I know you are angry that you can't throw spaghetti on the floor, but you can't)
- The "holding technique" basically a tight hug, and "time in" where parent joins child for time away to talk about emotions, maybe drawing out the emotions for them to talk about.
- No mention of divorce, but wouldn't that have a massive impact on raising "happy, nurtured children" (perhaps the writer wants to be positive that even if you are divorced you can make positive contributions to your child, but felt a bit negligent perhaps not even to mention the importance of long-lasting marriages?)
- No mention of spirituality. I know this is a secular book, but the research is clear that spiritual health is a key factor in resilience right? So why no mention?
- A simple one. She says "Don't use third as a barometer of when you need water" but that's not true!
Ok, with that mini rant out of the way, the book did have cool stuff and I'm glad I read it.
- difference between manipulative tantrums (where child is using thinking brain to scream to get what they want) and distress tantrums (they are just emotional and need support)
- Cool strategies for play and support and not commands (e.g. empathetic listening whilst still telling them no, like "I know you are angry that you can't throw spaghetti on the floor, but you can't)
- The "holding technique" basically a tight hug, and "time in" where parent joins child for time away to talk about emotions, maybe drawing out the emotions for them to talk about.
September 18, 2025
What Every Parent Needs to Know offers a helpful mix of practical tips and explanations of how children’s brains and social–emotional systems develop. The book is strongly rooted in a responsive parenting approach, with clear leanings toward practices such as co-sleeping, avoiding timeouts, and minimising external childcare. At times these are presented as hard rules, and I found that the author didn’t fully acknowledge the social realities or limitations many parents face.
The physiological and psychological background is useful, and the book frequently cites research, but much of the evidence is tucked away in footnotes without broader context. I would have appreciated more exploration of what the literature actually says, rather than just assertions.
Even so, I found this to be a helpful resource, especially for parents who want to better understand how empathy, attachment, and emotional regulation shape children’s long-term wellbeing. I’d simply recommend reading it with an awareness of the author’s biases, and with the understanding that not every recommendation will be realistic or applicable for every family.
The physiological and psychological background is useful, and the book frequently cites research, but much of the evidence is tucked away in footnotes without broader context. I would have appreciated more exploration of what the literature actually says, rather than just assertions.
Even so, I found this to be a helpful resource, especially for parents who want to better understand how empathy, attachment, and emotional regulation shape children’s long-term wellbeing. I’d simply recommend reading it with an awareness of the author’s biases, and with the understanding that not every recommendation will be realistic or applicable for every family.
July 23, 2025
Would not normally bother to write a review of something referencey but this one actively pissed me off.
The nagging guilt trippy tone got my back up early on, ('did you know mum's that if you don't pick up your baby the minute it cries you are causing cortisol to build up in their system, permanently traumatising them?') but then the chapter on 'the nursery question' really laid it on thick about how being placed in a nursery could cause separation anxiety - well I'm sorry but the 'nursery question' isn't a question for us, we can't afford to lose the second income, and we're far from unusual in this so what's the point of the guilt trip?
The next page talked about hiring a lovely caring nanny and don't worry too much if the child bonds with her over you, which reminded me of Arabella Weir's snooty TV chef on the BBC's posh nosh ('pop it into your aga... and if you haven't got an aga... well.')
A quick Google of the author shows that she's also an anti exclusion activist, which is a similarly idealistic and unhelpful set of propositions. Charity shopped with no regrets
The nagging guilt trippy tone got my back up early on, ('did you know mum's that if you don't pick up your baby the minute it cries you are causing cortisol to build up in their system, permanently traumatising them?') but then the chapter on 'the nursery question' really laid it on thick about how being placed in a nursery could cause separation anxiety - well I'm sorry but the 'nursery question' isn't a question for us, we can't afford to lose the second income, and we're far from unusual in this so what's the point of the guilt trip?
The next page talked about hiring a lovely caring nanny and don't worry too much if the child bonds with her over you, which reminded me of Arabella Weir's snooty TV chef on the BBC's posh nosh ('pop it into your aga... and if you haven't got an aga... well.')
A quick Google of the author shows that she's also an anti exclusion activist, which is a similarly idealistic and unhelpful set of propositions. Charity shopped with no regrets
February 14, 2021
Review in Arabic at the bottom. التعليق باللغة العربية في الآخر
“What every parent needs to know” is such an amazing book I would say. It took me a while to finish as it is quite full of information that is pretty scientific; which I like due to my background in research and the fact that I like to track sources of information.
I would suggest to change the title! May be something like “Understanding your child brain”? Or “Parenting effects from a science point of you”.
To summarise, extremely interesting book that covered a lot about how children brain works at different stages of life since birth, and gave some very good suggestions in tackling different situations from tantrums to bullying to taking care of yourself as a parent.
كتاب "ما يجب على كل الأهل ان يعرفوه" كان تجربة جميلة جداً . الكثير والكثير من المعرفة عن دماغ الطفل ولماذا يتصرف كما يتصرف.
فيه اقسام كثيرة ويشمل التعامل مع كل المواقف الصعبة من نوبات الغضب إلى التنمر إلى عناية الأهل بأنفسهم.
كتاب قيم جداً.
“What every parent needs to know” is such an amazing book I would say. It took me a while to finish as it is quite full of information that is pretty scientific; which I like due to my background in research and the fact that I like to track sources of information.
I would suggest to change the title! May be something like “Understanding your child brain”? Or “Parenting effects from a science point of you”.
To summarise, extremely interesting book that covered a lot about how children brain works at different stages of life since birth, and gave some very good suggestions in tackling different situations from tantrums to bullying to taking care of yourself as a parent.
كتاب "ما يجب على كل الأهل ان يعرفوه" كان تجربة جميلة جداً . الكثير والكثير من المعرفة عن دماغ الطفل ولماذا يتصرف كما يتصرف.
فيه اقسام كثيرة ويشمل التعامل مع كل المواقف الصعبة من نوبات الغضب إلى التنمر إلى عناية الأهل بأنفسهم.
كتاب قيم جداً.
October 18, 2024
Galvojau, kaip įvertinti 4 ar 5, nes buvo vietų ir kur patarimai/informacija kartojosi, tačiau prisiminus, kiek knygos gale pateikta nuorodų į mokslinę literatūrą, tyrimus, kiek įdėta darbo sisteminant ir aprašant - neliko abejonių - 5. 5 dėl to, jog tai ne "nuomone grįsti vaiko auklėjimo patarimai". Labai patiko, jo knygoje, kaip tik taip ir buvo išsireikšta. Ieškant literatūros apie kūdikių raidą, vaikų auginimą ir auklėjimą yra begalės knygų apie metodus, kurie "veikia", bet nėra aprašoma, gilinamasi kokia kaina, tai veikia.
Čia ne tik patarimai, kaip geriau elgtis su mažu vaiku, bet ir nuodugniai aprašyta kokiame amžiuje, kokie procesai galimi, negalimi vaiko smegenyse. Kokios pasekmės gali būti vienokio ar kitokio auklėjimo. Aprašytas būdas, kaip įsivertinti savo santykį su vaiku (ar jis puoselėjantis ar labiau žalingas).
Paskutinis skyrius ir ne mažiau svarbus apie tai, kaip tėvams pasirūpinti savimi, kad galėtų, kuo geriau pasirūpinti savo vaiku.
Čia ne tik patarimai, kaip geriau elgtis su mažu vaiku, bet ir nuodugniai aprašyta kokiame amžiuje, kokie procesai galimi, negalimi vaiko smegenyse. Kokios pasekmės gali būti vienokio ar kitokio auklėjimo. Aprašytas būdas, kaip įsivertinti savo santykį su vaiku (ar jis puoselėjantis ar labiau žalingas).
Paskutinis skyrius ir ne mažiau svarbus apie tai, kaip tėvams pasirūpinti savimi, kad galėtų, kuo geriau pasirūpinti savo vaiku.
August 7, 2018
If you had never read books about attachment parenting, or books such as "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" by John Gottman; "The Whole Brain Child" and "No Drama Discipline" by Daniel J. Siegel, and Tina Payne Bryson; "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" by Becky A Bailey; and Parent Effectiveness Training by Thomas Gordon this is a good beginner's to the concept without particularly pushing an "agenda".
The author goes over the results of studies used in books mentioned above, and talks about outcomes. If you don't have the time to read the other books, this is at least a good trade off where you can learn about a child's brain, and how they act at certain ages. Though it really won't give you a lot of different ways of dealing with difficult children.
The author goes over the results of studies used in books mentioned above, and talks about outcomes. If you don't have the time to read the other books, this is at least a good trade off where you can learn about a child's brain, and how they act at certain ages. Though it really won't give you a lot of different ways of dealing with difficult children.
October 9, 2018
I have read 'Why Love Matters' which covers the same ground as the earlier chapters in this book without the photos, diagrams etc. It was good to be able to see that oft-talked about scan of Romanian orphans brains. Of particular interest to me are the chapters more concerned with toddlers and older children: 'Behaving Badly', 'The Trying Times' and 'All About Discipline'. I hope to be able to put some of the guidance into practice soon.
September 5, 2023
DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST.
I found this book interesting but the science behind it was presented too vaguely. Such as prolonged crying can lead to abandonment issuers for your child. How the hell do they define prolonged? No idea.
If you aim for perfection this is not the book for you. It’s full of scare statements and all or nothing suggestions. I’m glad I read it when I was mentally in a good place.
I found this book interesting but the science behind it was presented too vaguely. Such as prolonged crying can lead to abandonment issuers for your child. How the hell do they define prolonged? No idea.
If you aim for perfection this is not the book for you. It’s full of scare statements and all or nothing suggestions. I’m glad I read it when I was mentally in a good place.
August 1, 2019
I found this book to be much more straight forward to read unlike other adoption books. It is laid out more like a school text book with additional case studies as well as brain scan pictures and diagrams. The sections are clearly displays to make it easier to keep track of where you are in the book. It also encouraged more talking points with my husband as we are going through the process.
March 9, 2020
Got a lot from this, including valuable reflection on my own childhood and internalised messages. Dated in some ways, outright wrong on autism (as a disorder to be cured!) and suggests that stress in pregnancy may make your child gay, but still very relevant and practical, and resonates a lot with the trauma science that Bessel Van de Koek writes about.
November 24, 2025
This is the book that I wanted Crib Sheet to be. A science-based book that looks at child development from an angle of neuroscience, developmental and behavioural psychology.
Felt like I learned a lot, and picked up a number of good tips on a less stressful and more fun approach to parenting my toddler.
Very much recommended.
Felt like I learned a lot, and picked up a number of good tips on a less stressful and more fun approach to parenting my toddler.
Very much recommended.
November 24, 2020
Begon erg goed, laatste paar hoofdstukken zijn echter minder. In de loop van het boek ligt de nadruk steeds meer op alles wat mis kan gaan - die negatieve inslag werd storend. De schrijfster leek er bijna vanuit te gaan dat iedereen therapie nodig heeft... mag wel wat positiever allemaal!
February 6, 2022
Despite its claim to be based in science, I found this book pretty sanctimonious and judgemental in places. I might refer to it again if I have a specific parenting challenge, but wouldn’t recommend it to others.
July 1, 2024
Really good and insightful, but it goes into the why rather than the how( if that makes sense). I mean you can't write a parenting manual , we all know that. However, I was hoping for some practical advice or techniques to get the desired results.
August 29, 2024
Parenting for dummies. Ar žinojote, kad kūdikio purtyti negalima? Nemuškite vaikų! Elkitės su savo vaikais empatiškai! Labiausiai patiko skyrius apie stresą nėštumo metu. Rekomendavo nevartoti alkoholio ir narkotikų, patiriant stresą :)
February 25, 2025
A nice neuroscientific explanation of parenting! The best I've found thus far! Apart from one reference to Gabor Mate (which was more stylistic than anything) I found everything compelling and very helpful.
December 2, 2018
Essential reading for the prospective parent.
April 18, 2021
It is an eye opener. It debust parenting myths with scientific evidence.
January 20, 2024
People always say “parenting doesn’t come with a handbook” but maybe it should. This would be the one! If I could give this to all of my friends who have kids in the future I absolutely will!
Read
June 10, 2025Must read for every parent!
dnf
January 26, 2024Toddler Brain deep dive book #2
If you want to know exactly how to parent your child in a perfect way with no concept that caregivers are also real humans here's the book for you. If you also want to feel deeply shamed about anything you've ever done that wasn't following these rules, also include! Plus a nice side of here's how you've forever ruined your child from one thing you did or didn't do in their childhood, fun!!
This book talks about the brain but not in any way that was truly helpful. I had to close this book 2/3s of the way in and call it a day after the last shame straw broke this parent's back.
If you want to know exactly how to parent your child in a perfect way with no concept that caregivers are also real humans here's the book for you. If you also want to feel deeply shamed about anything you've ever done that wasn't following these rules, also include! Plus a nice side of here's how you've forever ruined your child from one thing you did or didn't do in their childhood, fun!!
This book talks about the brain but not in any way that was truly helpful. I had to close this book 2/3s of the way in and call it a day after the last shame straw broke this parent's back.
October 24, 2024
"Jausmai niekada negali būti neteisingi, neteisingas gali būti tik elgesys".
Negrožinė literatūra nėra mano stiprioji pusė, bet atėjo toks laikas, kai vaikų auginime norisi pasisemti daugiau išminties. Tik Jūs man pasakykit, kodėl viskas atrodo taip lengva knygose ir taip sunkiai pritaikoma realybėje? 🤭
Kur ši knyga buvo anksčiau, kai manieji buvo dar visai mažyčiai. Čia taip aiškiai aprašoma kaip vystosi vaikų smegenys, kokius refleksus iššaukia vienas ar kitas elgesys ir kokį didelį poveikį vaikų psichikai turime mes, tėvai.
O kiek pavyzdžių atradau iš realių gyvenimo scenarijų, su kuriais, manau, susiduria daugelis tėvų.
Ir ne, tai nėra tik vieno žmogaus patirtis. Autorė, vaikų psichoterapeutė, rėmėsi ne tik savo, bet ir kitų tėvų patirtimis, daugelio mokslininkų atliktais tyrimais.
Kas man dar labai patiko, kad skatinama atkreipti dėmesį ne tik į vaiko poreikius, bet nepamiršti ir savęs, savo poreikių, pomėgių, kurie leistų nepamiršti pasirūpinti ir savimi.
Ne veltui sakoma, kad tėvystė yra sunkus darbas, atnešantis ne tik daug džiaugsmo, bet ir sukeliantis nemažai streso.
Negrožinė literatūra nėra mano stiprioji pusė, bet atėjo toks laikas, kai vaikų auginime norisi pasisemti daugiau išminties. Tik Jūs man pasakykit, kodėl viskas atrodo taip lengva knygose ir taip sunkiai pritaikoma realybėje? 🤭
Kur ši knyga buvo anksčiau, kai manieji buvo dar visai mažyčiai. Čia taip aiškiai aprašoma kaip vystosi vaikų smegenys, kokius refleksus iššaukia vienas ar kitas elgesys ir kokį didelį poveikį vaikų psichikai turime mes, tėvai.
O kiek pavyzdžių atradau iš realių gyvenimo scenarijų, su kuriais, manau, susiduria daugelis tėvų.
Ir ne, tai nėra tik vieno žmogaus patirtis. Autorė, vaikų psichoterapeutė, rėmėsi ne tik savo, bet ir kitų tėvų patirtimis, daugelio mokslininkų atliktais tyrimais.
Kas man dar labai patiko, kad skatinama atkreipti dėmesį ne tik į vaiko poreikius, bet nepamiršti ir savęs, savo poreikių, pomėgių, kurie leistų nepamiršti pasirūpinti ir savimi.
Ne veltui sakoma, kad tėvystė yra sunkus darbas, atnešantis ne tik daug džiaugsmo, bet ir sukeliantis nemažai streso.
September 4, 2013
3.5
La science au service des parents, c'est plutôt la science du gros bon sens: les enfants ont besoin d'amour, d'encadrement, de sécurité pour s'épanouir. L'aspect scientifique n'est pas celui auquel je m'attendais (honnêtement, savoir quelle partie du cerveau s'active à quel moment en fonction des émotions...) et les sujets abordés ne sont pas aussi variés que ce que j'aurais souhaité (je croyais qu'il y aurait un sujet par deux ou trois pages avec une étude spécifique pour chacun de ces sujets alors qu'en fait il s'agit de la vulgarisation d'une seule grande étude). Je voulais un livre du genre de http://www.mamaneprouvette.com/ et ce n'est pas ce que j'ai eu. Par contre, j'ai trouvé que les idées énoncées dans le livre étaient intéressantes pour des enfants de 18 mois et plus et je vais certainement avoir envie de m'y référer. Un bon aide-mémoire pour l'éducation des enfants lorsque l'impatience ou la fatigue nous fait perdre notre gros bon sens!!
La science au service des parents, c'est plutôt la science du gros bon sens: les enfants ont besoin d'amour, d'encadrement, de sécurité pour s'épanouir. L'aspect scientifique n'est pas celui auquel je m'attendais (honnêtement, savoir quelle partie du cerveau s'active à quel moment en fonction des émotions...) et les sujets abordés ne sont pas aussi variés que ce que j'aurais souhaité (je croyais qu'il y aurait un sujet par deux ou trois pages avec une étude spécifique pour chacun de ces sujets alors qu'en fait il s'agit de la vulgarisation d'une seule grande étude). Je voulais un livre du genre de http://www.mamaneprouvette.com/ et ce n'est pas ce que j'ai eu. Par contre, j'ai trouvé que les idées énoncées dans le livre étaient intéressantes pour des enfants de 18 mois et plus et je vais certainement avoir envie de m'y référer. Un bon aide-mémoire pour l'éducation des enfants lorsque l'impatience ou la fatigue nous fait perdre notre gros bon sens!!
May 30, 2010
This books provides the scientific answer for why allowing your baby to cry herself to sleep is unhealthy. When this technique has been suggested to me I've wanted to tell people it is simply inhumane. Now I've been provided with an educated and composed response.
As the book explored disciplining older children the author lost me as a fan by going after the 'sit in the naughty step and ponder your transgressions' school of thought. I was a child and I remember those moments in the corner and (sorry parents...but) I was rarely using that time for introspection...I was most likely daydreaming and planning my next move!
As the book explored disciplining older children the author lost me as a fan by going after the 'sit in the naughty step and ponder your transgressions' school of thought. I was a child and I remember those moments in the corner and (sorry parents...but) I was rarely using that time for introspection...I was most likely daydreaming and planning my next move!
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