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You'll See: A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand
"In You'll See, Suzanne Groves explores, without excuses, the challenging relationship she had with her father. Her recollections of the minute details and reactions to her interactions with him are vivid and evocative of the deep desire she had to gain his approval. An approval she never got, no matter how hard she tried." -Katharine O'Connor, Ph.D., LPC
My fifty-six years with my father were characterized by longing. If I could only meet his standards, ephemeral though they were, I would feel I belonged. That I was safe. That I was protected from external threats.
Learning that the threats came from within-that the threats were in the form of his personality disorder and addiction-came long after I had been damaged. Make no mistake-I never lacked for food, clothing, or shelter. We took family vacations. I received a wonderful education. I enjoyed numerous achievements, academically, professionally, and personally.
To an outsider, my life probably looked normal, even privileged.
The truth is the permanent scars resulting from narcissistic abuse are every bit as devastating and traumatic as those borne from physical and sexual abuse. Narcissistic abuse is insidious and challenging to survive. And the effects can outlive the abuser, almost in perpetuity. This is my story... possibly yours.
My fifty-six years with my father were characterized by longing. If I could only meet his standards, ephemeral though they were, I would feel I belonged. That I was safe. That I was protected from external threats.
Learning that the threats came from within-that the threats were in the form of his personality disorder and addiction-came long after I had been damaged. Make no mistake-I never lacked for food, clothing, or shelter. We took family vacations. I received a wonderful education. I enjoyed numerous achievements, academically, professionally, and personally.
To an outsider, my life probably looked normal, even privileged.
The truth is the permanent scars resulting from narcissistic abuse are every bit as devastating and traumatic as those borne from physical and sexual abuse. Narcissistic abuse is insidious and challenging to survive. And the effects can outlive the abuser, almost in perpetuity. This is my story... possibly yours.
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
357 pages, Kindle Edition
Published April 18, 2024
22 people are currently reading
655 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
November 22, 2024
You'll See: A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand, by Suzanne Groves is a contemporary biographical narrative, where the author relates her story, up until the present day, a story of mental abuse at the hands of her narcissistic father. There are two aspects of this book which are noteworthy.
First of all, the detail with which she captures moments in her life, from her teen years and well into adulthood, recalling small details and conversations, is actually quite incredible. I can barely remember a handful of conversations in my entire teens, but Groves excels at re-creating the chronological events of her life - taking the reader right back to each moment with lucidity.
Secondly, and more importantly, in the weave of this biographical narrative, are threads that stick out, brief but poignant moments in her life where she experienced repeated undermining by a father more interested in controlling her and molding her into his image of "perfection" than letting her experience her life, to win and lose at her own pace and right, and to bask in the glory of success when it came and lick her wounds when she failed. Her father had this knack for raining on most every parade in her life, of belittling her and reminding her that she was not perfect.
This was a kind of abuse which leaves scars on the soul, because while physical or sexual abuse are terrible, words can be just as powerful - especially to a daughter who desperately tries at every turn in her life, to live up to her father's expectations - expectations which in some ways were designed to make her feel like a constant failure.
This is not the type of book you read for pleasure or enjoyment - because if you have lived a life that parallels hers, this book is more than likely going to trigger your own past and open your eyes to the pain submerged in your subconscious.
The author decided to tell her story in the hopes that it would help others who may have experienced similar abuse - and like the author, come to terms with it, and find reconciliation in the fact that she is alive and has succeeded in her life despite that abuse.
I give it 5 stars because of this.
First of all, the detail with which she captures moments in her life, from her teen years and well into adulthood, recalling small details and conversations, is actually quite incredible. I can barely remember a handful of conversations in my entire teens, but Groves excels at re-creating the chronological events of her life - taking the reader right back to each moment with lucidity.
Secondly, and more importantly, in the weave of this biographical narrative, are threads that stick out, brief but poignant moments in her life where she experienced repeated undermining by a father more interested in controlling her and molding her into his image of "perfection" than letting her experience her life, to win and lose at her own pace and right, and to bask in the glory of success when it came and lick her wounds when she failed. Her father had this knack for raining on most every parade in her life, of belittling her and reminding her that she was not perfect.
This was a kind of abuse which leaves scars on the soul, because while physical or sexual abuse are terrible, words can be just as powerful - especially to a daughter who desperately tries at every turn in her life, to live up to her father's expectations - expectations which in some ways were designed to make her feel like a constant failure.
This is not the type of book you read for pleasure or enjoyment - because if you have lived a life that parallels hers, this book is more than likely going to trigger your own past and open your eyes to the pain submerged in your subconscious.
The author decided to tell her story in the hopes that it would help others who may have experienced similar abuse - and like the author, come to terms with it, and find reconciliation in the fact that she is alive and has succeeded in her life despite that abuse.
I give it 5 stars because of this.
January 6, 2026
Groves takes you on a life-long journey of narcissistic abuse in ways that are raw, heartbreaking, and leave you wanting to read just one more chapter. This book is not for the feint of heart, but eloquently documents both adolescence and adulthood as the child of a narcissistic parent. In the end, Groves' bravery and growth triumph, though it wasn't an easy journey. The story is easy to digest and is highly engaging, definitely don't miss out!
January 20, 2024
You’ll See: A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand” follows the life experiences of Suzanne Groves and her endeavors to outlast a toxic father’s displeasure, disdain, and loathing.
Groves’ father was a long-serving major in the United States Air Force before resigning to join the private sector after being denied a promotion to colonel. Though he provided for his family’s basic needs, he was always looking for fault in everyone else around him. His family found it hard to please and love him unconditionally due to his irritating selfishness and gruesome narcissistic nature.
Groves recalls one time when he kept her waiting for almost two hours before taking her to the hospital after she broke her hand while roller skating. He had chosen to check the television for any tournaments that were airing as she writhed in excruciating pain. It was clear that he had deliberately decided to abandon his family’s need for support, acceptance, and safety and instead prioritize his military career as well as an increasing number of mistresses.
A few years later, Groves’ mother sank into deep distress and heavy drinking after encountering a letter from one of his lovers. His justification for cheating was ridiculous and simply made his ‘work-related’ travels more suspicious. The author bore the brunt of her mother’s fury, especially when he failed to call. Her father’s insensitivity increased with time, and by the time his own mother passed away after a sickness, it was not only stressful for the blossoming adolescent but also heartbreaking as she repeatedly failed to soothe his unquenchable ego.
Groves’ story navigates discreet family matters that may brush upon a traumatized reader’s emotional hurt. She has candidly shared the manipulative acts of her father, not to betray him (as she continually asserts), but to exemplify the ropes around defeating disdain and psychological torment caused by narcissistic parents. I found the story validating, helpful, and truthful.
Her mother’s resilience in breaking off the hold of an emotionally abusive spouse is very inspiring, and her pursuit of a seemingly difficult career at an advanced age is a thoughtful recognition. Suzanne Grove is an exceptional author who demonstrates how to hold onto hope when going through ghastly situations. Her poise is remarkable, and her writing style implores a reader to keep turning the pages.
There is a lot to learn from Suzanne Groves’ “You’ll See: A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand.” This is not your ordinary memoir, but a classic that will make you laugh and cry at the same time. Getting yourself a copy will not only help you become a great parent but also a master at outsmarting narcissism in whatever shape and manner it may present itself. This is a book that CPTSD survivors will want to read. I highly recommend it!
Groves’ father was a long-serving major in the United States Air Force before resigning to join the private sector after being denied a promotion to colonel. Though he provided for his family’s basic needs, he was always looking for fault in everyone else around him. His family found it hard to please and love him unconditionally due to his irritating selfishness and gruesome narcissistic nature.
Groves recalls one time when he kept her waiting for almost two hours before taking her to the hospital after she broke her hand while roller skating. He had chosen to check the television for any tournaments that were airing as she writhed in excruciating pain. It was clear that he had deliberately decided to abandon his family’s need for support, acceptance, and safety and instead prioritize his military career as well as an increasing number of mistresses.
A few years later, Groves’ mother sank into deep distress and heavy drinking after encountering a letter from one of his lovers. His justification for cheating was ridiculous and simply made his ‘work-related’ travels more suspicious. The author bore the brunt of her mother’s fury, especially when he failed to call. Her father’s insensitivity increased with time, and by the time his own mother passed away after a sickness, it was not only stressful for the blossoming adolescent but also heartbreaking as she repeatedly failed to soothe his unquenchable ego.
Groves’ story navigates discreet family matters that may brush upon a traumatized reader’s emotional hurt. She has candidly shared the manipulative acts of her father, not to betray him (as she continually asserts), but to exemplify the ropes around defeating disdain and psychological torment caused by narcissistic parents. I found the story validating, helpful, and truthful.
Her mother’s resilience in breaking off the hold of an emotionally abusive spouse is very inspiring, and her pursuit of a seemingly difficult career at an advanced age is a thoughtful recognition. Suzanne Grove is an exceptional author who demonstrates how to hold onto hope when going through ghastly situations. Her poise is remarkable, and her writing style implores a reader to keep turning the pages.
There is a lot to learn from Suzanne Groves’ “You’ll See: A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand.” This is not your ordinary memoir, but a classic that will make you laugh and cry at the same time. Getting yourself a copy will not only help you become a great parent but also a master at outsmarting narcissism in whatever shape and manner it may present itself. This is a book that CPTSD survivors will want to read. I highly recommend it!
November 15, 2024
I read this book as an advanced copy through Reedsy. You’ll See is Suzanne’s story of growing up with a narcissistic father. Throughout her childhood, he refused to be her cheerleader, evoked self-doubt and anxiety, criticized her with cruelty, and dismissed any achievements she made. Heartbreakingly, he even excluded her from ‘cocktail hour’, or the first moments of returning home from work, determined not to share any love with her that should only be given to him. While his sex addiction destroyed his wife, he left his daughter to hold his secrets. Yet Suzanne craved what he would never give—his recognition and approval. He held this power over her until his death.
Throughout much of her life, Suzanne sees her value as rooted in what she might achieve rather than who she is as a person. Determined to get ahead, she battled misogyny and debt, working herself to exhaustion while she looked at herself with a critical eye. Casual cruelties crushed her whenever she made new achievements, and although Suzanne shared these stories, she would still spend time with her father. As a reader, I begged her to stay away, but she never did.
This is a heartbreaking tale about the betrayal of a mother and child by a man so mentally ill that he has never stopped craving the adoration he believed he couldn’t have, and so he behaved like a spiteful and overgrown child while operating with the power of an adult. Many of the tender moments his daughter longed for came with strings attached or superimposed with superiority.
You’ll See is a story of survival and hope. Suzanne was able to create a life for herself, despite being frustrated. And so readers are able to find hope too. Suzanne began her story by warning her readers that this book could trigger painful memories for those raised by narcissistic parents. As a reader, her father’s pathology was so deeply apparent that I think readers who have faced similar struggles would be able to take out the painful insight that the situation would never change, that approval was a dangling but dangerous carrot, and that the painful trauma bond created through a longing for love just wasn’t worth it.
Readers who have faced years of abuse might find this book painful, but also healing. Suzanne shared that there is hope and showed that the cycle ended with her. It’s a heartbreaking yet beautiful journey through hope and despair, determination and discouragement, and love and pain. While Suzanne straddled these contradictions, she also created a life for herself. This act of courage brings light through the darkness. As a reader, whilst cheering for Suzanne, I couldn’t put her book down.
Throughout much of her life, Suzanne sees her value as rooted in what she might achieve rather than who she is as a person. Determined to get ahead, she battled misogyny and debt, working herself to exhaustion while she looked at herself with a critical eye. Casual cruelties crushed her whenever she made new achievements, and although Suzanne shared these stories, she would still spend time with her father. As a reader, I begged her to stay away, but she never did.
This is a heartbreaking tale about the betrayal of a mother and child by a man so mentally ill that he has never stopped craving the adoration he believed he couldn’t have, and so he behaved like a spiteful and overgrown child while operating with the power of an adult. Many of the tender moments his daughter longed for came with strings attached or superimposed with superiority.
You’ll See is a story of survival and hope. Suzanne was able to create a life for herself, despite being frustrated. And so readers are able to find hope too. Suzanne began her story by warning her readers that this book could trigger painful memories for those raised by narcissistic parents. As a reader, her father’s pathology was so deeply apparent that I think readers who have faced similar struggles would be able to take out the painful insight that the situation would never change, that approval was a dangling but dangerous carrot, and that the painful trauma bond created through a longing for love just wasn’t worth it.
Readers who have faced years of abuse might find this book painful, but also healing. Suzanne shared that there is hope and showed that the cycle ended with her. It’s a heartbreaking yet beautiful journey through hope and despair, determination and discouragement, and love and pain. While Suzanne straddled these contradictions, she also created a life for herself. This act of courage brings light through the darkness. As a reader, whilst cheering for Suzanne, I couldn’t put her book down.
August 2, 2024
You’ll See, by Suzanne Groves, is a raw and poignant memoir that delves into the author’s experiences with narcissistic abuse, survival, and the arduous journey to understanding. Centered around Groves’ tumultuous relationship with her narcissistic and addict father, the book intricately explores the psychological and emotional toll of growing up in an environment dominated by manipulation and emotional neglect. Through vivid storytelling and heartfelt reflections, Groves chronicles her path to healing and self-discovery, ultimately finding strength and resilience amidst her struggles.
One of the most striking aspects is Groves' unflinching honesty. She doesn't shy away from the painful realities of her past, instead laying them bare for the reader to see. This candid approach not only lends authenticity to her narrative but also fosters a deep connection with the reader. For instance, the chapter where she describes her father’s callous disregard for her mother’s wellbeing while she lay incapacitated is both heartbreaking and infuriating. Groves' ability to convey the depth of her pain and confusion during these moments is profoundly moving.
Groves' writing style is engaging and accessible, making the book hard to put down despite its heavy subject matter. She balances the recounting of traumatic events with moments of introspection and even humor, providing a well-rounded narrative that feels both genuine and relatable. Her reflection on her mother’s tough love approach, especially in the scene where she is nearly sent away as a child, showcases her ability to understand and convey complex emotional dynamics. This nuanced perspective adds depth to her storytelling, making it clear that she has spent a considerable amount of time processing and understanding her experiences. The epilogue, where Groves gets a tattoo in honor of her mother’s loving words, offers a glimpse of this resolution.
You’ll See is a powerful memoir that will resonate deeply with anyone who has experienced narcissistic abuse or emotional trauma. Suzanne Groves’ raw and honest storytelling not only sheds light on the painful realities of living with a narcissistic parent but also highlights the incredible resilience of the human spirit. This book is particularly suited for readers who appreciate candid memoirs and those seeking solace and understanding from similar experiences. Groves’ journey is a testament to the strength required to confront one’s past and the possibility of finding hope and healing on the other side.
One of the most striking aspects is Groves' unflinching honesty. She doesn't shy away from the painful realities of her past, instead laying them bare for the reader to see. This candid approach not only lends authenticity to her narrative but also fosters a deep connection with the reader. For instance, the chapter where she describes her father’s callous disregard for her mother’s wellbeing while she lay incapacitated is both heartbreaking and infuriating. Groves' ability to convey the depth of her pain and confusion during these moments is profoundly moving.
Groves' writing style is engaging and accessible, making the book hard to put down despite its heavy subject matter. She balances the recounting of traumatic events with moments of introspection and even humor, providing a well-rounded narrative that feels both genuine and relatable. Her reflection on her mother’s tough love approach, especially in the scene where she is nearly sent away as a child, showcases her ability to understand and convey complex emotional dynamics. This nuanced perspective adds depth to her storytelling, making it clear that she has spent a considerable amount of time processing and understanding her experiences. The epilogue, where Groves gets a tattoo in honor of her mother’s loving words, offers a glimpse of this resolution.
You’ll See is a powerful memoir that will resonate deeply with anyone who has experienced narcissistic abuse or emotional trauma. Suzanne Groves’ raw and honest storytelling not only sheds light on the painful realities of living with a narcissistic parent but also highlights the incredible resilience of the human spirit. This book is particularly suited for readers who appreciate candid memoirs and those seeking solace and understanding from similar experiences. Groves’ journey is a testament to the strength required to confront one’s past and the possibility of finding hope and healing on the other side.
June 4, 2024
From the first pages of heart-wrenching narrative, from the good girl rewards and tortuous retractions, impossible standards, nightly cocktails, discounted painful bodily injury, to a father’s dalliances, and mother’s branching out to attend to herself at college, I know I’m in for a visceral read. An un-watered down gut-churning experience. What surprised me was how much I got into this memoir, told in a way reminiscent of how I felt reading Christina Crawford’s “Mommy Dearest”. Different scenes but same parental oppression as I navigate through vignettes of bulimia, unsettling talk of divorce, family meetings and militaristic conformity, maternal alcoholic breakdowns and projection onto her daughter, physical abuse, invalidation over college achievements, etc. Page after page, I’m drawn into this child’s history, told by the woman, the author, who miraculous came to piece together her past to not only help herself understand but us the reader as well. A powerful tome, this memoir doesn’t just narrate the author’s dive into her shadow past but shines a light on a way out. It is a mirror reflecting my own experience dealing with a malignant narcissist. In the end, this well-written, no holds barred, memoir paved the way for an view into my own shadow, and that, as the author beautifully writes, is the road to peace. A remarkable book I won’t forget for a long time to come.
May 28, 2024
You’ll See
A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand
By Suzanne Groves
Good Girl—Against All Odds
Suzanne Groves’ candid memoir is the story of a little girl striving for the love and approval of a narcissistic, philandering father, love that he is incapable of giving, and approval he is unwilling to provide—a little girl who can never fully outgrow that yearning for the love of this unworthy man, despite her own personal triumphs and achievements, who remains that little girl at heart, for the duration of his miserable egotistical life.
The reader cannot help wondering at the emotional grip he held over his little family, despite everything he did to alienate her and his wife, Suzanne’s mother. In her case, she was driven to anorexia, despair, and addition to cigarettes, while her mother, in spite of her own considerable achievements, drowned her grief in scotch, choosing to ignore or accept his ongoing affairs and mental cruelty.
You’ll See is a painful, yet engrossing tale, one that will rip at your heart and bring tears to your eyes. If you’re a fan of excruciatingly honest writing that invokes raw emotion, and leads you, as it did me, to better understand your own struggles, this book is for you. One can only hope that writing it was equally cathartic for Ms. Groves.
Bill Schweitzer, author of Doves in a Tempest
A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand
By Suzanne Groves
Good Girl—Against All Odds
Suzanne Groves’ candid memoir is the story of a little girl striving for the love and approval of a narcissistic, philandering father, love that he is incapable of giving, and approval he is unwilling to provide—a little girl who can never fully outgrow that yearning for the love of this unworthy man, despite her own personal triumphs and achievements, who remains that little girl at heart, for the duration of his miserable egotistical life.
The reader cannot help wondering at the emotional grip he held over his little family, despite everything he did to alienate her and his wife, Suzanne’s mother. In her case, she was driven to anorexia, despair, and addition to cigarettes, while her mother, in spite of her own considerable achievements, drowned her grief in scotch, choosing to ignore or accept his ongoing affairs and mental cruelty.
You’ll See is a painful, yet engrossing tale, one that will rip at your heart and bring tears to your eyes. If you’re a fan of excruciatingly honest writing that invokes raw emotion, and leads you, as it did me, to better understand your own struggles, this book is for you. One can only hope that writing it was equally cathartic for Ms. Groves.
Bill Schweitzer, author of Doves in a Tempest
May 21, 2024
It is nearly impossible to impress upon observers the full experience of having grown up in an emotionally abusive family. Suzanne Groves succeeds in piecing the broken tiles of incidents into a mosaic, illustrating the full experience in bright technicolor. Each story, if told by itself, might not be proof of what she endured under the thumb of her narcissistic father, but together, the stories bring the full arc of her life into focus. The subtle emotional abuse children experience growing up is often overlooked or dismissed, but it sticks with them well into their adulthood long after the parent has passed away. With a hand that never shakes and a voice that never wavers, Groves holds a light up to her memories and courageously recounts her troubled relationship with her father.
She shows us that it is possible to find healing, confidence, and peace. Even when dark clouds cast shadows on the delicate edges of our lives, finding our own self-worth and inner love is possible and vital. A must read for anyone who has ever questioned their childhood: “was this normal?”
June 19, 2024
You'll See: A Story of Narcissistic Abuse, Survival, and My Journey to Understand
is a raw, wrenching memoir so powerful that I couldn't look away. The author's father's struggles with mental health and addiction along with her mother's inability to protect her daughter created a tempest that deprived Suzanne Groves of a happy, peaceful childhood as well as many years of adulthood. The detail of the author's experiences and the depth of emotion she provides go deep, and I ached and cheered for her, wishing some adult would have noticed and stepped in to help. The author's courage is palpable as she provides the reader with knowledge about this often covert trauma while at the same time offering encouragement and hope to those looking for a way out. I've never read a memoir like this one, and I hope it reaches others who have had similar experiences. In addition, it will open the eyes of those of us who need to understand how narcissistic abuse occurs so we can reach out to children (and adults) who may be so entangled in it that they can't speak up for themselves.
is a raw, wrenching memoir so powerful that I couldn't look away. The author's father's struggles with mental health and addiction along with her mother's inability to protect her daughter created a tempest that deprived Suzanne Groves of a happy, peaceful childhood as well as many years of adulthood. The detail of the author's experiences and the depth of emotion she provides go deep, and I ached and cheered for her, wishing some adult would have noticed and stepped in to help. The author's courage is palpable as she provides the reader with knowledge about this often covert trauma while at the same time offering encouragement and hope to those looking for a way out. I've never read a memoir like this one, and I hope it reaches others who have had similar experiences. In addition, it will open the eyes of those of us who need to understand how narcissistic abuse occurs so we can reach out to children (and adults) who may be so entangled in it that they can't speak up for themselves.
April 25, 2024
Anyone who has lived through the destruction wrought by a narcissistic family member will recognize the truth at the heart of Suzanne Groves’s memoir. You’ll See assembles memories into an image of a father whose every thought and act were toward his own gratification and a daughter who, in vain, sought his approval. High-minded principles imposed on others don’t apply to him. Those around him live through the moral wreckage of his secrecy and hypocrisy. Groves gives equal attention to her mother, who, with a backdrop in Texas, struggles against the limitations of her marriage and the expectations of the American middle class. The result is a finely rendered family portrait in which many readers will see themselves.
February 7, 2025
There were so many things about this memoir about a parent who is so wrapped up in themselves that they can't say or do anything nice to anyone else. I think it is interesting how some people, like the author, spend their whole lives trying to be what their parents want them to be and hoping for a different response. It was amazing that this person kept trying to have a relationship with her father, even though he was really a jerk, and she felt responsible for taking care of them. A lot of people would have just left, like the granddaughter did. The author is incredibly smart and yet just can't figure out how to deal with her father, who says and does whatever he wants and doesn't whose feelings he hurts. Very well-written book about parental relationships.
February 18, 2025
Reading Suzanne Groves’ “You’ll See” made me realize how fortunate I was to have two gentle, caring, supportive parents. Since reading this memoir did not dredge up traumatic personal memories for me, I was able to dive into it and relish the polished prose and immersive storytelling. This is a portrait of incredible narcissistic abuse but also of courage and resiliency. And there is a sense of humor (which might be characterized as dark or ironic humor) in the narrative voice that engaged my attention and empathy—but never pity. Groves is much too strong and accomplished to evoke such feelings. I highly recommend this book; though as emphasized by others, it will be a tough read for those who’ve had similar upbringings.
August 11, 2024
Suzanne Groves’s “You’ll See” is the first time I’ve given a 5-star review to a book I didn’t enjoy. Make no mistake, the story is deftly written, emotionally wrenching, and I couldn’t put it down. But it also did something no other book has—it triggered me.
I’ve had no use for that word—triggered—before. I never doubted others’ claims they were triggered, but it wasn’t something this boomer was ever going to have to deal with. I was wrong.
“You’ll See” drug up memories from my own childhood that I’d successfully compartmentalized, and that pissed me off. The book’s antagonist was too familiar. The author’s actions/reactions often disturbed me—until I realized my bias sprung from personal experience and 20/20 hindsight.
Bottom line: if you read to escape, relax, and be entertained, then give Groves’s story a pass. But if you read to feel, you don’t want to miss this one.
I’ve had no use for that word—triggered—before. I never doubted others’ claims they were triggered, but it wasn’t something this boomer was ever going to have to deal with. I was wrong.
“You’ll See” drug up memories from my own childhood that I’d successfully compartmentalized, and that pissed me off. The book’s antagonist was too familiar. The author’s actions/reactions often disturbed me—until I realized my bias sprung from personal experience and 20/20 hindsight.
Bottom line: if you read to escape, relax, and be entertained, then give Groves’s story a pass. But if you read to feel, you don’t want to miss this one.
February 8, 2025
Oh my gosh, where do I start? This was a very tough read. Well written, You’ll See is a raw, unflinching description of a toxic relationship. I honestly almost gave up several times, because it was so difficult to continue. However, like the author herself, I kept going for the lessons at the end of each chapter, a summation of how she continued to struggle, fail, and ultimately rise above her incredibly painful relationship with her father to form strong bonds with the people in her life who truly love her. Groves poses the question we must all ask about our at times impossible life experiences – without them, who would we be?
February 28, 2025
We "good girls" (and boys!) will forever try to prove ourselves to the narcissists in our lives--but to what end? Suzanne Groves delves into her experiences as a "good girl" compelled to make her narcissist father proud. She explores in-depth the dynamics of this kind of abusive relationship--her drive to break through his constant and inevitable disappointment, and the healthy and unhealthy behaviors that can result from this kind of cycle. This is a must-read for anyone and everyone feeling "stuck" with a narcissist--whether it be a parent, sibling, employer, or friend--or for readers who want to better understand loved ones who have experienced this kind of trauma.
November 18, 2024
First, let’s get this straight: Groves is a warrior. Yes, there is heartbreak and emotional abuse as she shares her life-long journey to understand what happened to her, to heal, and to claim her power. But there is also triumph and bravery. Maybe, just maybe, the courage she shows in telling her story will inspire women of similar backgrounds to stop blaming themselves. To all “good girls” struggling or realizing the truth of your experiences, this book is for you. It’s not your fault; it never was.
February 3, 2025
Author Groves’ memoir was a difficult read for me in that so much of what she experienced with her father was uncanny and familiar, mirroring some of my own past. I was, however, able to reconcile my relationship with my father before he passed, for which I am grateful. As adults, we can try to protect ourselves by recognizing traits of narcissism, but for children, it can be a long and harrowing journey. A provocative book for anyone who has had a controlling parent who was impossible to please. YOU’LL SEE is as much a story about emotional abuse as it is about self-discovery.
February 28, 2025
Abuse can take many forms and in this unapologetically honest account of the author's relationship with her narcissistic father and enabler mother, we experience the fear, loneliness and disappointment born in a household fraught with a high level of dysfunction. Without a reliable guide or roadmap to follow, Groves grows and evolves and ultimately triumphs over the trauma, learning to 'adult' responsibly and build a happy life. Not for the faint of heart, but highly recommended for excellent narration and honest reflection. Perfect for book clubs!!
February 28, 2025
This powerful and deeply personal memoir sheds light on the lasting scars of narcissistic abuse, revealing the hidden wounds that often go unnoticed. With raw honesty, the author reflects on a lifetime of seeking approval from a father whose love was conditional. A poignant and necessary read, this book offers understanding to those who have endured similar emotional trauma.
February 28, 2025
Well written - this book made me wonder about my childhood, my parents, and the behaviors I accepted as typical of that era. I got through this pretty quickly, it kept my attention (in a way that sometimes made me sad), but I appreciated the lessons. Nicely done!! This would be a great pick for a book club.
September 29, 2025
This memoir gave me a perspective on growing up with parents very different from my own. I was amazed at the book club discussion we had afterward and how it opened my eyes to the variety of emotional worlds experienced by others. It helped me grow in empathy. I recommend this memoir for book clubs.
December 3, 2024
good
Well written, first person book. The author writes of her life from childhood about her relationship with her parents. Her father was a narcissist. She writes of the difficulties of being the daughter of one and how she coped.
Well written, first person book. The author writes of her life from childhood about her relationship with her parents. Her father was a narcissist. She writes of the difficulties of being the daughter of one and how she coped.
January 12, 2025
impactful, heart wrenching, relatable & BRAVE!
Sad to say that I could relate to most of this story. Hopefully, it will be healing to many. I admire her honesty. I’m sure there are more ppl out there that can put themselves in her shoes, sadly.
Sad to say that I could relate to most of this story. Hopefully, it will be healing to many. I admire her honesty. I’m sure there are more ppl out there that can put themselves in her shoes, sadly.
April 28, 2024
Great book!
I picked this book to enrich my skills as a therapist. It ended up helping me with my past issues and baggage. Thanks for the honesty and catharsis you provided.
I picked this book to enrich my skills as a therapist. It ended up helping me with my past issues and baggage. Thanks for the honesty and catharsis you provided.
September 19, 2025
You'll See is a triumphant account of the author's struggles with a narcissistic parent, and a thorough meditation on all that entailed - the behaviors, the consequences, and the ripples of abuse inherent in such behavior. Recommended reading for any reader grappling with a narcissist in their own life, or for any reader who seeks to understand what these behaviors look like and how they affect the lives of everyone around them. Above all else, You'll See is a success story. The author not only recognized the patterns of abuse, but rose above them, and even sympathized with them. While processing the pain of her past and present circumstances, the author demonstrates a strength and moral compassion that is not always a given in similar family dynamics. A clear and in-depth picture of what breaking the cycle of abuse actually looks like in real time. Highly recommend.
December 3, 2024
No one truly understands the devastating effects of narcissistic parents unless you have lived through it. Part of their game is to appear perfect, sweet, kind and generous to others. If you mention their narcissistic ways to other people, they act like you are not only crazy but a total ingrate.
Thank you Suzanne for writing this book. It expresses everything I've felt through the years. I understand the many times you spent trying to connect with your father. The human psyche yearns for hope even when it goes unfulfilled.
Thank you Suzanne for writing this book. It expresses everything I've felt through the years. I understand the many times you spent trying to connect with your father. The human psyche yearns for hope even when it goes unfulfilled.
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